garandman1a: Before everyone says 'no way', think about it.1) Obama hates Texas as much, if not more, then Texas hates Obama.2) With the loss of 30 something guaranteed red state votes, he would make the path to the Whitehouse much easier for Nancy Pelosi.
lennavan: Biness: Obama actually has a big incentive to let them go. The loss of Texas' pretty reliable electoral college votes would pretty much guarantee democrat presidents for the near to mid term future.Fme, I thought I would be the first person to post this. This really is one of those cases where we actually would be better off without them.
doubled99: Don't be so self-righteous. We stole the land.
rufus-t-firefly: The response should just be a photo of Gen. Sherman.
doubled99: Why do so many of you have a problem with this? Let em do it.
Matt Foley: Perducci: FirstNationalBastard: Give Texas back to Mexico, wait a couple weeks, watch as they beg to return.Problem solved.Or let them try to survive independently. Maybe they can join with Quebec and become some sort of new superpower.The national cuisine would be awesome. Chili Poutine with a maple glazed 20 oz. ribeye.
tinderfitles: Anyone else really excited at the prospect of Joe Biden: Road Warrior?
sodomizer: You go be Democrats in the blue states and try out all your new theories. We'll secede, and then clean up when you implode like your inspiration, the Soviet Union.
Mija: KarmicDisaster: He should tell the signers to self-deport if they want to. I know someone that did during the last election. It isn't going very well for them in spite of the web sites that they looked at that told them it would be a libertarian paradise.I would like more details please so I can enjoy their failure.
sprawl15: Secession is unconstitutional. QED.
Wadded Beef: Hear them out!
DarnoKonrad: Doc Daneeka: I say, let them goWhy let them go when we could sell them back to Mexico?
wildcardjack: Oznog: wildcardjack: "All you have to do is pay off your share of the national debt and we'll let you go"Ah yes and all the federally owned land- which is a lot of the state- of course still belongs to the USA. That includes the offshore oil leases.That's one of the funny things. Not much of Texas is Federal land.[4.bp.blogspot.com image 400x262]A couple national parks, a bit of troublesome land along the Rio Grande that changes sides every couple of years, and some military bases.
MrPenny: This is what happens when regular Internet dwellers stumble onto something like this....*what a hoot.....I'll sign this for the lulz...."
phritz: Let's give them a trial period, say, by immediately removing all federal security at the border for a week. Let's see how that goes for them.Also we should carpet bomb Dallas. Just in general, I mean, whether they secede or not.
FeedTheCollapse: I'm guessing it'll be more of a "Haha no." type response.
Renart: It's just that we have vaster derpish hinterlands than most states, so our population centers aren't enough (yet) to outvote Whargarbl-Americans.
Sock Ruh Tease: [i.i.com.com image 620x350]Dear Micah H,Thank you for your petition. It is always good to see citizens using the Federal government's website to ask to secede from the Federal government.You mentioned you were a member of the Tea Party. I regret to inform you that the Tea Party is actually against secession. Since you are politically active, and I support my political opponents' right to express their views, I would direct you to the Lemon Party. As supporters of secession, they may have something to offer you.Sincerely,President Barack Obama[1.bp.blogspot.com image 400x278]Dear Mr. Soetoro,At first I ignored your suggestion, because you're not my President. My family shares my E-Mail, and my grandmother says she likes the Lemon Party, so I will research it, but only because she suggested that I do - not because of you.- Micah H.[i.imgur.com image 570x238]
Kuroshin: wildcardjack: Oznog: wildcardjack: "All you have to do is pay off your share of the national debt and we'll let you go"Ah yes and all the federally owned land- which is a lot of the state- of course still belongs to the USA. That includes the offshore oil leases.That's one of the funny things. Not much of Texas is Federal land.[4.bp.blogspot.com image 400x262]A couple national parks, a bit of troublesome land along the Rio Grande that changes sides every couple of years, and some military bases.Texas is primarily worthless nothing. Vast tracts of...nothing. Texas oil fields aren't what they once were, and beyond that, there's just...nothing.Offshore oil fields, on the other hand...Of course, rights to those belong to the US - not Texas. Texas can't support itself without oil money. Take away the oil, and you've just got a giant worthless desert.
Scruggy: rufus-t-firefly: The response should just be a photo of Gen. Sherman.I think you mean Gen. Sheridan
Bendal: "Get your legislature to send me a request, then we'll talk."Then sit back and watch the fun erupt.
NetOwl: //I don't want to hear any poutine about parts of America being Progressive, either. If you saw a pair of pants with manure all over the lower half except for the urban pockets, with an annoyingly archaic design that caused your wang to hang out in 2000, leading to eight years of voter-sanctioned death and destruction, you wouldn't put them on.
sodomizer: That's assuming that your views are actually right, which is a big leap of faith, comrade...
kumanoki: People, people! Please!The Texas vs. White 76 U.S. 700 (1869) decision clearly puts into law that a State may not unilaterally secede from the Union.[susanhenschen.files.wordpress.com image 320x353]
kumanoki: People, people! Please!The Texas vs. White 76 U.S. 700 (1869) decision clearly puts into law that a State may not unilaterally secede from the Union.
hatelabs: We will leave some bayonets sporks for you gratis.
coeyagi: kumanoki: People, people! Please!The Texas vs. White 76 U.S. 700 (1869) decision clearly puts into law that a State may not unilaterally secede from the Union.[susanhenschen.files.wordpress.com image 320x353]You're getting a lot out of that image today in this post-election-GOP-rage-begets-Liberal-rage-at-the-audacity-and-stupidi ty-of-the-GOP-rage wasteland
Amy Winehouse's Ghost: Who knew so many conservatives were such drama queens?
jonasborg: super_grass: You say that like the White House will actually respond to the petition with something meaningful.Remember the petition asking for marijuana legalization?This
thunderbird8804: And it seems the official response is coming in now...[volcanolady1.files.wordpress.com image 390x544]"Prepare to die!"/I must have posted pictures of Sherman in ten related threads by now, this is ridiculous
Buck Henderson: They mention being able to keep a balanced budget in the petition. Googling "Texas state balanced budget" returns a bunch of articles about accounting tricks and federal money. I'm not sorting through this stuff at the moment, but it seems that this tidbit may not quite be the case.
sirgrim: Please, we insist.
sethen320: I live in Texas yet I share none of the views which you are against. Are you saying you're somehow superior to me based on geography alone?
SocraticIrony: Texas seceding would be the greatest thing that's ever happened to the US. Without Texas's Congressmen, the Democrats would take the House and further their control of the Senate. Not to mention that without it's 38 electoral votes the Republicans would never have a chance at the White House ever again.
If you like these links, you'll love
More funny for your money.
Sign up for the Fark NotNewsletter!
Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.
When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.
Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.
You need to create an account to submit links or post comments.
Click here to submit a link.
Also on Fark
Submit a Link »
Copyright © 1999 - 2017 Fark, Inc | Last updated: Nov 17 2017 20:11:24
Runtime: 0.645 sec (644 ms)