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(Mandatory)   Man creates intentionally awful OK Cupid profile, but uses a cute girl photo, to see how low Internet creeps would go. (Spoiler: Low)   (mandatory.com) divider line 168
    More: Amusing, Geico, Willy Wonka, okays  
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34388 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Nov 2012 at 1:36 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2012-11-13 01:43:52 PM
8 votes:
This just in: most guys looking through dating sites just want to get laid.

Story at 11.
2012-11-13 01:44:19 PM
7 votes:
Ummmm...... that's not so outrageous as, well, I'm gonna go with Representative... of the average online profile.

I met my girl on PoF but it took a ton of sifting through the garbage to find her. Seems that every obese single mother is looking for a man to treat them like a princess (while being VERY clear that they won't waste time talking to men who are interested in sex with their new girlfriend).
2012-11-13 02:07:30 PM
6 votes:
The amusing part is that profile isn't that bad... a large number of people are actually that stupid these days.

There are real profiles that are worse than that fake one.
Pud [TotalFark]
2012-11-13 01:39:36 PM
5 votes:

Andromeda: xanadian: Boy, does that bring back memories...

I know the feeling *shudders*

I had an Ok Cupid profile back in my single days, and I don't think I met anyone actually worthwhile through it. Weirdest one was a guy I thought would be worth meeting, then over a drink to prove some point about why feminism is bad he asked me if I'd rather be raped or sent to jail for 20 years.

/ left right then
// he still asked if we could get together for a second date


But what was your answer? The rape or 20 yrs.?
2012-11-13 02:15:50 PM
4 votes:
cheap_thoughts: I write a halfway intelligent profile, and rarely get messages or profile views. Clearly I'm doing it wrong.

In my case it's

Find 95% match.

Send intelligent e-mail.

Get no response whatsoever.

// for a site that's focuses on answering questions and indicating how you want someone else to answer questions, you would think that a high match percentage would at least garner a response.

// responds to all high match percentages, even if I'm not physically attracted to them, because in my mind, a high matching percentage == someone who is cool (to me).
2012-11-13 02:08:07 PM
4 votes:
The picture is not severely overweight, and the profile doesn't spend every section talking about how she hates men and that her bastard baby is the center of her life. Yes, the girl portrayed is illiterate and insensitive, but she's energetic and no doubt interesting to have around - for entertainment value if nothing else.

Hands down, that's so much better than any single women from here.

I'm not at all surprised that the guy got a bunch of replies. I probably would have replied too, if I hadn't already given up on dating entirely.
2012-11-13 02:00:36 PM
4 votes:
The author doesn't seem much brighter than the profile he faked, what with feeling the need to provide play-by-play descriptions of the profile and chats that you've just read for yourself.
2012-11-13 01:41:45 PM
4 votes:

cheap_thoughts: I write a halfway intelligent profile, and rarely get messages or profile views. Clearly I'm doing it wrong.


Well, if your profile picture there is anything like it is here you're not showing enough cleavage and you need to lose the glasses and that pink thing in your hair.

Alternately, you could continue doing what you're doing and not worry about the leering passer-by that this guy intentionally baited and hooked solely with a picture of a cute girl.
2012-11-13 12:42:58 PM
4 votes:
I write a halfway intelligent profile, and rarely get messages or profile views. Clearly I'm doing it wrong.
2012-11-13 03:50:17 PM
3 votes:
Profile advice

Just be yourself.

And after everyone refuses to date you, simply acknowledge that you'll die alone.
2012-11-13 03:35:41 PM
3 votes:

OgreMagi: I've basically given up on online dating (and dating any other way). With OKCupid and POF, women's expectations are way too high. They are expecting a greek god millionaire that is ten years younger, so guys like me - your average looking middle age guy (ok, I'm being kind to myself) with a decent income (but not a millionaire) doesn't stand a chance unless I'm willing to date hugely obese women (who list themselves as "athletic" or "average"). No thanks. 

Oh, and women complained about guys not taking the time to write a long introduction. That's because after dozen times of spending forever to write the perfect message and getting no farking response at all, not even a "thanks but no thanks" we get a bit frustrated.


Try the following.

Shave the goofy beard and mustache. Dump the convertible. Get a short haircut and buy a nice sedan. An Audi or something. And buy a house if you don't have one. Point is, you want to look like a professional and not a mid-life crisis pimp.

Then do the following on your next date. Do not talk about yourself unless asked, and keep all answers under two minutes. Ask only questions about her. Do not talk about politics, ever. No fart jokes. No penis jokes. Never mention an ex or how hard it is in the dating world. Point here is that you want her to think you're comfortable in her presence, and not a simpering noob.

After, ask if you can call her again. If she says yes, wait three days. If she says no, then thank her for the experience and find a new one.

If you have a job, practice good hygiene, and can carry on a conversation there is no reason at all any man can't date successfully.
2012-11-13 03:29:21 PM
3 votes:
I did some POF when I was in grad school. I was working at a big company and would get hockey tickets that were $250+ in face value (aka best seats in the place). Found a girl on there who said she loved hockey and was on the college lacrosse team.

She wouldn't let me pick her up but instead asked me to meet her at a nearby bar before the game. When I got there she said she'd meet me at the arena instead. We went to the club in the VIP level before the game, but she didn't want any food. We talked and had a pretty good time. After the game we were heading to my car when she decided to bail, and acted really awkwardly when I went for a goodbye kiss.

That's why guys will end up going for girls like the one in the fake profile. You can go all out for a quality girl and she'll completely shut you down, or you can go for the dumb easy girl who will be very appreciative of your effort, even if you're not a perfect match.
2012-11-13 03:19:12 PM
3 votes:

sycraft: It's also a good idea because you are likely to get a response and probably a date just because the guy will be impressed you contacted him. It is exceedingly rare in our culture. Women still by and large wish to be pursued, which makes sense since they then don't have to put their emotions on the line by risking the initial rejection. However it also means if you break that mold you put yourself ahead of those that don't.


This. As a guy, any girl that takes the time to send a message gets a response and most likely a dinner out of it just for the effort.
2012-11-13 02:43:53 PM
3 votes:

KatjaMouse: After my somewhat success on OKC I referred my sister to trying it out. 1) the more clever interesting guys who seemed perfect on paper, cute and had witty profiles that messaged her never got responses back. Because she was too overwhelmed with responding to other guys who were mostly just awful people. 2) she'd come home from awful dates and b*tch and moan about how there are no decent guys while I would open up profiles from the reject pile and scream "OMG THIS GUY WROTE IN HIS PROFILE THAT HE WOULD TOTALLY KILL A FRIDAY NIGHT WITH HIS DREAM WOMAN BY WATCHING OLD STEVE MARTIN AND MONTY PYTHON MOVIES!" (editor's note: she's a fan both those things)

Basically she used an algorithm that literally did all the hard work for her and she ignored every suggestion.

But I guess that's what happens when you have low self esteem.


I generally share this observation.

My best friend and I decided to try online dating thing together as a dare, and we both me the love of our lives and future wives.

Meanwhile, my wife's best friend after a long string of a-hole boyfriends decided to give online dating a try and has had nothing but bad experiences. My wife has even stood over her shoulder and suggested profiles for her, but eventually the same scenerio always plays out. Any guy who seems half way intelligent and has his shiat together immediately gets lumped in her "lame/boring/pathetic" category (he's already got one strike against him simply because he's online dating) . If some guy writes in the the persona of an obnoxious a-hole and seemingly has the stare of a serial killer, he gets put in the "promising" category.

Moral of the story: If you have a really bad intuition about people, online dating isn't going to save you from your bad tastes.
2012-11-13 02:19:46 PM
3 votes:

Aidan: The saddest farking thing is that I read the fake profile and it didn't really stand out as any worse than others I've read. Youtube comments come to mind...


I've noticed this too; plenty of OKC profiles look as bad or worse than this troll profile. Sucks when I come up with a nice match % only to find a profile full of logical inconsistencies and spelling errors.
2012-11-13 02:16:59 PM
3 votes:

Because People in power are Stupid: Pffft, amateur.

I was doing this in '09 with a "dream girl" profile and just shooting guys down. It was a blast.


After a few seconds of thought, I would say that is more pathetic than the dudes replying to the ad.
2012-11-13 02:16:33 PM
3 votes:
Do dudes even look at anything other than the photo? I sure as heck don't
2012-11-13 01:58:17 PM
3 votes:
I only read a bit, but it looks like they weren't "creepy" as much as they didn't give a damn that she was an idiot. They kept talking to her and treating her as a serious prospect despite her being a complete moron one would avoid in normal life.
2012-11-13 01:57:44 PM
3 votes:
This is so incredibly frkking stupid I don't even know what to say. First off you are a frkking loser if you have nothing better to do than make a fake okcupid account pretending to be a dumb girl. Secondly, everyone already frkking knows how low guys will stoop when they are trying to snatch some snatch. Ok I'm done but fuk all of you, really.
2012-11-13 01:56:41 PM
3 votes:
I did this before it was cool. Hell, there are plenty of women intentionally doing this on that site. It's a messed up system of frustrated people trying to do it "right" alongside average people spamming (successfully) for hookups.
2012-11-13 01:51:34 PM
3 votes:
There is no way "Rob Lee", the article author, isn't a woman. These are all "OMG look how dumb and inappropriate this girl is! And guys still try to hook up with her?! News!"

There are only two types of men: Those that would try to hook up with that, and those that wouldn't, but absolutely know that some guy out there would.
2012-11-13 08:18:09 PM
2 votes:

screwzloos: I tried the OKCupid thing for a while. I answered the 2758 questions, and commented on all of them. After I got through with that, there was one girl with a 94% match, and nobody else over 55%. She was pretty, easy going, educated, and articulate. She liked spicy food and had a cat.

I got the courage one Friday after work to message her, and she logged in that night at 1:31AM and checked out my page. Sadly, there was no reply. Every night, she would log in between 12:30AM and 2:30AM, but she never looked at my page again. Two weeks after the initial message, I tried again. Then two weeks after that. Then two weeks after that.

After the last one, her account just disappeared. She didn't just block me, as googling her user name didn't come up with any results anymore either.

It's been six months since I almost met someone. Sometimes I wonder what I could've done better, but it's best not to dwell on the past. I deleted my account shortly after to help get my mind onto other things.


I don't know why, but this creeped me out to no end.
2012-11-13 04:40:54 PM
2 votes:
What decent looking, halfway sane, single girl has a hard time finding a date in real life? Think about it. Women get hit on in grocery stores, parks, dog walks, social events, anywhere a guy can find someone, they'll get hit on.

Now ask yourself, what damaged, broken, horrifying woman has to resort to online dating to find someone. "I've got 8 kids". "Seriously, my herpes outbreaks are totally controllable". Get the picture?

Online dating is a last resort for women. EVERYTHING is a last resort for men. Why are people surprised at this?
2012-11-13 04:15:38 PM
2 votes:

Bullseyed: If a guy pays for food, holds doors, picks her up, etc. She pretty much owes the courtesy of a kiss anyway.


Guys, when a woman is absolutely insisting on paying her own way on a date? This is why. This attitude right here.
2012-11-13 03:56:28 PM
2 votes:

Bullseyed: She wouldn't let me pick her up but instead asked me to meet her at a nearby bar before the game. When I got there she said she'd meet me at the arena instead. We went to the club in the VIP level before the game, but she didn't want any food. We talked and had a pretty good time. After the game we were heading to my car when she decided to bail, and acted really awkwardly when I went for a goodbye kiss.


Sounds like she's a hell of a lot brighter and more aware of how internet dating goes than you are.

The rule of internet dating is that your first meet up is NOT A FIRST DATE. It's a first-time-I've-ever met you. First date rules do not apply.

1) You ALWAYS meet in public. Giving an internet stranger your address (and knowledge that you don't have a big, burly boyfriend) is a great way to get all rapey-murdered.

2) You don't let the man buy you dinner. Or a drink. It gives them expectations that they deserve something in return. My strategy is always get to the public place first and order my own beer before the guy arrives, and pay for it up front. That way, if he's creepy I can bail instantly with no strings.

3) NEVER EVER try to kiss someone on a first internet meetup. If she throws herself on your mouth, react how you want, but you're not the one risking literal rapey-death by meeting up with strangers and trying to get physical before the invitation is expressly offered is a great way to send her running.

Remember, when you go on a first internet date you're afraid she might be fat or boring. SHE is afraid of being raped and murdered.

Act accordingly.
2012-11-13 03:39:45 PM
2 votes:

Bullseyed: I did some POF when I was in grad school. I was working at a big company and would get hockey tickets that were $250+ in face value (aka best seats in the place). Found a girl on there who said she loved hockey and was on the college lacrosse team.

She wouldn't let me pick her up but instead asked me to meet her at a nearby bar before the game. When I got there she said she'd meet me at the arena instead. We went to the club in the VIP level before the game, but she didn't want any food. We talked and had a pretty good time. After the game we were heading to my car when she decided to bail, and acted really awkwardly when I went for a goodbye kiss.

That's why guys will end up going for girls like the one in the fake profile. You can go all out for a quality girl and she'll completely shut you down, or you can go for the dumb easy girl who will be very appreciative of your effort, even if you're not a perfect match.


This. Accessibility trumps compatibility when compatibility wants to play hard-to-get. Here's a hint... if you've been chatting on the dating site, calling or texting for more than a day or two, might as well consider the first date the second one, since you've likely burned through all of the getting to know each other chatter by this point. You don't have to fark the guy right then and there.... but if you want to play hard to get and make him work for even a bit of encouragement after the hours upon hours he's already spent putting himself out there and taking an interest in you.... don't be surprised when he says "fark it" and goes home with the waitress.
2012-11-13 03:32:00 PM
2 votes:

Bullseyed: I did some POF when I was in grad school. I was working at a big company and would get hockey tickets that were $250+ in face value (aka best seats in the place). Found a girl on there who said she loved hockey and was on the college lacrosse team.

She wouldn't let me pick her up but instead asked me to meet her at a nearby bar before the game. When I got there she said she'd meet me at the arena instead. We went to the club in the VIP level before the game, but she didn't want any food. We talked and had a pretty good time. After the game we were heading to my car when she decided to bail, and acted really awkwardly when I went for a goodbye kiss.

That's why guys will end up going for girls like the one in the fake profile. You can go all out for a quality girl and she'll completely shut you down, or you can go for the dumb easy girl who will be very appreciative of your effort, even if you're not a perfect match.


Or, you can be a jerk when she acts squirrely, tell her about the fake after-date you're about to have, and see if she changes her tune.
2012-11-13 03:28:39 PM
2 votes:
...Um, this is surprising? That feels like looking at your average Facebook conversation, although I'll admit the profile is spectacular even for teh interwebs. But really, I go on Omegle and get the same level of competence with basic English.

/Scientists don't call it 'textspeak' to be cute, it's honestly managed to confuse the folks whose job it is to tell whether it's English or another language altogether.
2012-11-13 03:26:48 PM
2 votes:

KatjaMouse: I took self defense and I remember the first lesson wasn't kick 'em in the balls or scream fire. It was walking with your head up, shoulders back, and move your hips as if you meant business.


It works wonders, for men as well. You give off cues that say you are competent and not to be farked with, far less people will. Also you generally increase your situational awareness by doing such things which means you can avoid trouble better.

When the police advocate "Refuse to be a victim," they aren't being snarky, they are offering advice based off of many years of crime statistics. The way you act, the way you present yourself to your surroundings can have a profound effect on how you are treated.

That, and strapping an AR-15 to your back :).
2012-11-13 03:22:14 PM
2 votes:
Not surprising at all. Plenty of guys try to count coup with women, and they go for the ones that are too dumb to see through their BS.

A pretty, young, but dumb girl? That's not a turn off for your average dating site dude - it's a turn on!
2012-11-13 03:21:00 PM
2 votes:

Bullseyed: I remember when they did this study a while back. They had serial killers and other criminals look at video footage of people walking away (in other words, from behind). Some of the people were victims of rape, etc and some were random people. The "targets" selected by the serial killers were nearly 100% of the ones who had actually had crimes committed against them.

Some people are victims. They bring it upon themselves and open themselves up (lulz) for bad people.


I took self defense and I remember the first lesson wasn't kick 'em in the balls or scream fire. It was walking with your head up, shoulders back, and move your hips as if you meant business.
2012-11-13 03:16:41 PM
2 votes:

InmanRoshi: My best friend and I decided to try online dating thing together as a dare, and we both me the love of our lives and future wives.

Meanwhile, my wife's best friend after a long string of a-hole boyfriends decided to give online dating a try and has had nothing but bad experiences. My wife has even stood over her shoulder and suggested profiles for her, but eventually the same scenerio always plays out. Any guy who seems half way intelligent and has his shiat together immediately gets lumped in her "lame/boring/pathetic" category (he's already got one strike against him simply because he's online dating) . If some guy writes in the the persona of an obnoxious a-hole and seemingly has the stare of a serial killer, he gets put in the "promising" category.

Moral of the story: If you have a really bad intuition about people, online dating isn't going to save you from your bad tastes.


Moral of the story: if you're a bad person, you'll meet bad people, whether online or at bars.


I remember when they did this study a while back. They had serial killers and other criminals look at video footage of people walking away (in other words, from behind). Some of the people were victims of rape, etc and some were random people. The "targets" selected by the serial killers were nearly 100% of the ones who had actually had crimes committed against them.

Some people are victims. They bring it upon themselves and open themselves up (lulz) for bad people.
2012-11-13 02:56:19 PM
2 votes:

Mudd's woman: What's the back story of that Bloodninja link? And i need a new keyboard.


Bloodninja's exploits likely date from as early as 1997, judging from the references made, to about 2001. One of the earliest recorded trolls, he set about trolling the internet before it was common, let alone a national pastime as it is today. Nothing is really known of his identity (aside from a possible alias, "Loren") or his current whereabouts.

He is a legend among trolls.
2012-11-13 02:38:35 PM
2 votes:

sycraft: It's also a good idea because you are likely to get a response and probably a date just because the guy will be impressed you contacted him. It is exceedingly rare in our culture.


It also had the nice advantage of introducing me to a lot of great guys with self esteem issues who had just dismissed me as someone who was "out of their league" for whatever reason. Kinda nice to end up dating a guy you think is awesome but who, in return, feels like he won a lottery.
2012-11-13 02:31:53 PM
2 votes:
After my somewhat success on OKC I referred my sister to trying it out. 1) the more clever interesting guys who seemed perfect on paper, cute and had witty profiles that messaged her never got responses back. Because she was too overwhelmed with responding to other guys who were mostly just awful people. 2) she'd come home from awful dates and b*tch and moan about how there are no decent guys while I would open up profiles from the reject pile and scream "OMG THIS GUY WROTE IN HIS PROFILE THAT HE WOULD TOTALLY KILL A FRIDAY NIGHT WITH HIS DREAM WOMAN BY WATCHING OLD STEVE MARTIN AND MONTY PYTHON MOVIES!" (editor's note: she's a fan both those things)

Basically she used an algorithm that literally did all the hard work for her and she ignored every suggestion.

But I guess that's what happens when you have low self esteem.
2012-11-13 02:24:32 PM
2 votes:
Hearing stories about how some guys act on OKCupid always makes me feel better about myself, especially since I met my future wife on OKC. I feel bad for the normal, good-looking women on there who just get absolutely bombarded by lunatics and weirdos.
2012-11-13 02:23:38 PM
2 votes:

chopit: Rent Party: I loved online dating. I never pulled more tail in my life than when I had an account on the pussy catalog known as "Match."

I've had a lot of 2-date relationships with girls I met on match. Generally it's me buying them dinner, followed by them not putting out. Meh, no chemistry. I did have luck with an intelligent young stoner in a doctorate program, but when she spontaneously told me she was a crazy pyromaniac, I stopped responding to her texts.


The easiest way to get rid of a woman is to tell her she's not the only one. Right after my divorce, I would have at least two, and as many as five on the hook. None of them knew about the others, as that would be just bad manners. I would always preface the first date introductions with "I'm just taking things slow and checking out the wading pool again." If one got clingy or crazy (and don't knock the pyros until you've tried the pyros) I'd simply let it slip that I had a date with a different woman later and can't see her that night. Then she gets to be all outraged and break up with me.

The trick to getting anyone to do anything is to get them to think it was their idea.
2012-11-13 02:15:50 PM
2 votes:
I've met maybe 10 people on OKC in person, and most were highly intelligent, attractive, well spoken, and too busy to date (hence dealing with the online riffraff). If you prove that you're not riffraff, it's easy to bring in a date.
2012-11-13 02:12:44 PM
2 votes:

cheap_thoughts: I write a halfway intelligent profile, and rarely get messages or profile views. Clearly I'm doing it wrong.


Gym membership comes before dating site membership.

/flames incoming!!!!

Naw just being serious though. I try not to be really really superficial, but there is the crazy/hot line. With the cat pics, you're showing waaay too much crazy for your hot level.
2012-11-13 02:05:10 PM
2 votes:
Wait.

We are shocked that men will sink to startling depths to get with a cute girl who isn't that bright? This surprises us? This is (not) news?

Where is Rick Romero when we need him?!
2012-11-13 02:02:37 PM
2 votes:

NCg8r: Ummmm...... that's not so outrageous as, well, I'm gonna go with Representative... of the average online profile.

I met my girl on PoF but it took a ton of sifting through the garbage to find her. Seems that every obese single mother is looking for a man to treat them like a princess (while being VERY clear that they won't waste time talking to men who are interested in sex with their new girlfriend).


I met one on pof and when I met her in person, her husband was there pawing on her at the bar. She told me that they were separated for three years and that he still hadn't given up. as I was headed out the door she asked what was going on and I replied "I'm not herefor this kind of drama" and left.
2012-11-13 02:02:08 PM
2 votes:

Bit'O'Gristle: Anyone have the chat room troll that posted years ago? The angry pirate one?

/anyone?


Bloodninja

There ya go.
2012-11-13 02:01:20 PM
2 votes:

man metaphysical: This is so incredibly frkking stupid I don't even know what to say. First off you are a frkking loser if you have nothing better to do than make a fake okcupid account pretending to be a dumb girl. Secondly, everyone already frkking knows how low guys will stoop when they are trying to snatch some snatch. Ok I'm done but fuk all of you, really.


that's an excellent point.
How does that phrase go? "I'd eat a mile of shiat to get to that ass"
More then a few men that say it mean it more than figuratively. .
2012-11-13 01:56:28 PM
2 votes:

Pair-o-Dice: "Can I cum in your mouth or your pussy?" Dayum, dude doesn't beat around the bush.


Most women these days don't even have a bush to beat around.
2012-11-13 01:56:16 PM
2 votes:
The saddest farking thing is that I read the fake profile and it didn't really stand out as any worse than others I've read. Youtube comments come to mind...
2012-11-13 01:51:49 PM
2 votes:
I had to look up "Krumping" ...

"...which is a backronym for Kingdom Radically Uplifted Mighty Praise,[3][4] presenting krump as a faith-based artform"

"Krump was not directly created by Tommy the Clown; however, krump did grow out of clowning.[1][7][10] Ceasare Willis and Jo'Artis Ratti were both originally clown dancers for Johnson but their dancing was considered too "rugged" and "raw" for clowning so they eventually broke away and developed their own style.[2] This style is now known as krump. Johnson eventually opened a clown dancing academy and started the Battle Zone competition at the Great Western Forum where krump crews and clown crews could come together and battle each other in front of an audience of their peers"

So... hardcore clown dancing for god? Why have I not heard of this before!?
2012-11-13 01:45:59 PM
2 votes:
Hey, any chick that digs Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is ok in my book.
2012-11-13 01:41:39 PM
2 votes:
Nothing is too low for Fark.
2012-11-13 01:05:36 PM
2 votes:

xanadian: Boy, does that bring back memories...


I know the feeling *shudders*

I had an Ok Cupid profile back in my single days, and I don't think I met anyone actually worthwhile through it. Weirdest one was a guy I thought would be worth meeting, then over a drink to prove some point about why feminism is bad he asked me if I'd rather be raped or sent to jail for 20 years.

/ left right then
// he still asked if we could get together for a second date
2012-11-13 12:51:36 PM
2 votes:
I am not sure what the big deal is.. this type of profile is common on Fark.
2012-11-14 12:03:14 AM
1 votes:

kxs401: Lets talk frankly about internal cleanliness: Bit'O'Gristle: Anyone have the chat room troll that posted years ago? The angry pirate one?

/anyone?

Bloodninja

There ya go.

"I was great. You loved it."

So weird, that's what I say after sex.


You've been reading Oglaf again, haven't you?

/so very, very nsfw 
2012-11-13 09:21:05 PM
1 votes:

Magnanimous_J: Well that got dark. I'm not going to lie, I kind of like the idea of being "appeased."

However, I will amend my list of places not to hit on strangers to include their homes.


But that's absolutely ludicrous. So she had a bad experience. It happens, it's incredibly rare, and making any kind of life-altering decisions based off of this one incident is stupid to say the least. Did you know people also occasionally get struck by lightning because they went outside? Are you going to forgo ever going outside again because of a rare freak occurrence?

As to the original poster, yes, some people are farking nuts. You have a higher chance of running into them in a big city, just because of higher population densities. Giving people advice based on your isolated incident with a nutjob is stupid and harmful, and you need to stop. This is how paranoia and bad decision making start, and we have enough people out there too terrified to open their front door or engage with another human being.

A better response is to figure out what the best plan of action is if you find yourself confronting a nutjob and to make sure you're ready for it, and if your plan is a good one, to let people know. Not to go around saying "OMG there's crazy guys out there, don't talk to anyone ever and don't make eye contact." How about, instead, "Know where your exits are, make sure your cell phone is charged so you can call for help, and scope out the nearest public place to retreat to." That's it. Ta farking da.
2012-11-13 06:35:34 PM
1 votes:
It's almost like the content of the profile isn't important if it's an attractive person...

*palmface*
2012-11-13 06:23:49 PM
1 votes:

Freudian_slipknot: Magnanimous_J: I'm sorry that you've had bad experiences, but I think those might have more to do with the way you currently feel about male attention than the attention itself.

Yes, it was my lack of desire for male attention that led a guy to awkwardly stand outside of my apartment building every day for a week pretending to text someone just so he could try to chat with me every day, despite my repeated, firmly polite refusal to engage.

And when he finally decided to stop waiting around and just flat out ask me out, it was definitely my fault that he flipped his shiat and accused me of "leading him on" and proceeded to berate me loudly and follow me down the block as I walked away. Ducked into a public place and escaped, but you better bet I don't take those things lightly anymore (nor should any single woman in a city)

Or, maybe, it's that dudes are sometimes batshiat insane and they tend to look exactly like the normal ones until they flip out at a woman for not reacting the way they'd like to their unsolicited attention.

And yes, an awkward smile at you is a fear response hoping you'll go away quickly and maybe smiling will appease you enough to not go all rapey-stabby on her. Not because YOU are that kind of guy, but because SOMETIMES GUYS DO THAT.


Well that got dark. I'm not going to lie, I kind of like the idea of being "appeased."

However, I will amend my list of places not to hit on strangers to include their homes.
2012-11-13 06:20:47 PM
1 votes:

Sticky Hands: Freudian_slipknot: Magnanimous_J: I made direct eye contact, stopped walking (at a respectful, nonthreatening distance), and said "I'm sorry, but you are stunning and looking at you just made my day better." I could tell that I'd made her day. Then I walked away. I didn't get in her personal space. By walking away, I showed that I wasn't looking for anything from her. Now I have a girlfriend, so I wouldn't have done anything anyway. But if I ever saw her again, instant ice breaker and then I could ask her out.

Actually, that would seriously creep me out to the point where I'd walk my dog on a different block for a while to make sure I didn't run into you again. I've had that kind of comment turn into... a bad experience.

In my experience, getting the kind of attention from a complete stranger that compels them to openly comment on it generally results in nothing good. It's a different beast if you're at a bar, or otherwise socializing somewhere that social interaction is an expected part of the experience.

And, of course, YMMV. Some women might be into that kind of thing.


If you limit meeting people to just "expected social interaction places" or you are going to be suck with a high percentage of desperate types that only go to people meeting places to meet people. I can understand that I guess, being someone who doesn't like to bother people or be bothered when I'm doing my own thing, but I suspect this is one reason why you are IMHO overly worried about the amount of "embellishment" that folks tend to do. You want to see a man being the real him? That's on the bus, on the street or in the grocery store after work.


No offense, but as soon as somebody starts the flirtation process, no matter the location, they're trying to put on their best face. You don't get some magical window into the "real" man just because he starts hitting on you on the bus rather than in a bar.

/i'm a guy, fwiw
2012-11-13 06:18:33 PM
1 votes:

Chevello: KatjaMouse: Then like a month after that relationship ended I had a drunken hookup with some random guy and now he and I are living together with a dog and picking out floral arrangements for the impending nuptials.

So, when are you due?

/met my wife of 14 years online
//4 kids
///please
////kill
//me


Hehehe... we hooked up 4 years ago. No babies between the two of us. Well. Unless you count the fur baby we adopted together.
2012-11-13 06:17:55 PM
1 votes:
Anyone else remember JSP's 665? It is old, 2000 or so, I think, He did a number of chat and dating site pranks. His favourite was an asian girl who clearly stated she had herpes and would randomly vomit blood. He would still get hundreds of replies.
2012-11-13 06:17:51 PM
1 votes:
400 views and only 39 of them responded with a lot more dropping off after that - I believe that is 10% with a reduction to probably 4 - 6% dirt bags after her Weeners. I would say men are still looking pretty OK after those statistics and would bet the same is true of the female portion of our species when it comes to hot guys and/or money.

/click like if you agree
//haha, there is no like, there is only quote
2012-11-13 05:44:07 PM
1 votes:
I use this little guy and my OkCupid browsing experience is far better these days...

OKCupid Bullshiat2English filter
2012-11-13 05:38:58 PM
1 votes:

Theonceovertwice: jst3p: Theonceovertwice: What the crap are those? Can you tell I don't have kids?

They are called Hex bugs.

Link

Those are awesome! Now I really want a kid.


Who says you need a kid to own kid toys? I have several Nerf guns and nary a child to be seen. Grow old, not up :). Only difference is now that I'm an adult, I have several real guns too, because they are also fun.
2012-11-13 05:28:38 PM
1 votes:

Freudian_slipknot: Yes. But approaching 100% of the time, the guys doing the hitting on are completely unwelcome. Believe it or not, there are plenty of women who aren't interested in the kind of alpha dog who feels comfortable hitting on a woman in public.

When I was an atheist living in an extremely Christian area, there's no point in even trying to date randoms because the vast majority of the time that one thing is going to keep us from going on more than 1 date. I'd much rather weed all of that out in the beginning by at least narrowing my search to people who aren't serious about religion.

Oh, and now that I live in the city? The guys who do hit on me are so gross and aggressive that I've taken to wearing no makeup and a crappy hat just to cut down on the times I have to fend off unwanted attention. And any guy who actively hits on a woman during her public transit commute is so socially tone deaf I doubt I'd date them anyway.



I get where you're coming from, no girl enjoys getting hit on by creeps in public. But I think you're giving bad advice to a group that has a significant percentage of single men who are painfully shy around women. You've now given them the impression that approaching women is a bad thing to do. This is what keeps single men and women at home alone on Saturday night wondering why they don't have anyone, instead of the sweet sweet boning they should be doing, and WOULD, if the dude would just sack up for 5 minutes and talk to her.

If you are going to hit on a woman in public, follow some simple tips to not be creepy.
1) Do not hit on her on the street if she is alone at night. Just don't.
2) Do not hit on her at a gym. They feel incredibly vulnerable there, even if they are wearing those awesome yoga pants we all enjoy.
3) Not on a bus. That's gross.

You're not going to close the deal with ANY line (Except maybe: Want to see how much cocaine I have in my helicopter?). At this stage you are just trying to get her attention.

For example, the other day I was walking down the street and a tasty little treat was coming my way. I made direct eye contact, stopped walking (at a respectful, nonthreatening distance), and said "I'm sorry, but you are stunning and looking at you just made my day better." I could tell that I'd made her day. Then I walked away. I didn't get in her personal space. By walking away, I showed that I wasn't looking for anything from her. Now I have a girlfriend, so I wouldn't have done anything anyway. But if I ever saw her again, instant ice breaker and then I could ask her out.
2012-11-13 05:21:27 PM
1 votes:

thecpt: Theonceovertwice: Thank you for your concern! I am feeling very "stuck" in terms of figuring out my problems, and they are not just relationship related. If I felt good about other aspects of my life, I could handle one aspect not being good, but everything is pretty much sh*t, and I can't figure out how I got here! I need a drastic change of some sort.

My heart goes out to you. My problem last year was simple and just took a lot of time, so I didn't mature much in overcoming it. Coming to Fark and laughing helped me, but you sound more outgunned than I felt. Sincerely, hope you overcome it soon.


You guys are awesome. Thanks. I loves me some farkers.
2012-11-13 05:10:22 PM
1 votes:

Saiga410: When I unlock the passenger door and open it for her she shure as schucks owe me to lean across the car to unock the drivers door.

/that was my test when dating way way back when


I always lean across and unlock the driver's door, even 10 months in. I'm not about to be lulled into a false sense of security in this relationship.
2012-11-13 05:07:48 PM
1 votes:

Rent Party: They want you to be clean (your car is an example of that), they want you to have a job (because it's important for you to be independent) and they want you to be able to carry on a conversation (that is not about your farking car.)


Sounds like you date some really boring women with very low standards. I've me quite a few women that are very interested in cars. In fact, there are a lot of them out there. Women that would sit and talk about the finer points of the Wenkel rotary until most listeners would make a polite excuse to leave. But this is neither here nor there.

The bigger point is that you mention a few points up about how women want someone that will sit there and listen to them and *understand*. But why should anyone give a shiat about paying attention to them if they don't care about paying attention to you? More importantly, why would you ever want to date a woman like this?

This is one of those bullshiat cultural stereotypes that people of a certain intelligence and life-path buy into completely, and it causes absolute misery to all involved. And then people wonder why adultery and divorce rates are so high for middle america and why sexual satisfaction between couples is so low. People create these absolutely abysmal dating caricatures, where the man isn't supposed to have hobbies that he ever shares, and the woman is supposed to be a giant attention whore who only cares about gossip and shopping, and people aren't like this normally. So they wear these bland masks and torture themselves rather than taking a risk. It's like homeowners who are convinced that they need to paint their house beige to keep property values up, even if they absolutely abhor beige.

And finally, you are a horrible human being for your promotion of this ridiculous double-standard, and for the damage you do to the romantic lives of millions every time you repeat this bullshiat.

/Why yes, I am in a healthy, happy, long-term relationship, why do you ask?
//I also quite enjoy dating, and have yet to have a truly bad date
2012-11-13 05:00:00 PM
1 votes:

Freudian_slipknot: Bullseyed: Just want to be clear: I wasn't going for a full on, throw you on the hood of the car and do you make out... just a simple kiss. Got fish lips. If you go on and on about how you love hockey and you see the $250 per ticket thing on there and you cant be bothered to give a 3-5 second no tongue smack, you're not worth it.

If you think paying for things entitles you to any kind of physical intimacy, just save yourself the time and hire a hooker instead. You'll be less disappointed.


If women don't like chivalry, they shouldn't put it on a pedestal.

Always remember, chivalry is based on the concept that women are property, not people.
2012-11-13 04:57:15 PM
1 votes:

thecpt: Freudian_slipknot: You DO know that people not only actively lie on the internet, but even the ones who are trying to be honest are putting forth an idealized self-image?

[www.marketingpilgrim.com image 403x340]
bonjour


Good example. The girl is so shallow she won't date anyone who isn't a model. She saw his picture online and was ok with going on a date because he claimed to be a model.
2012-11-13 04:54:47 PM
1 votes:

Bullseyed: but when she wanted to make out I went for it because it was the polite thing to do.


Bullshiat. Leading someone on when you've decided you're not interested is never the polite thing to do.

It's just a coward's way to avoid confrontation.
2012-11-13 04:48:43 PM
1 votes:

Sticky Hands: kxs401: Bullseyed: If a guy pays for food, holds doors, picks her up, etc. She pretty much owes the courtesy of a kiss anyway.

Guys, when a woman is absolutely insisting on paying her own way on a date? This is why. This attitude right here.

wait... so if more guys had this attitude the rest of us wouldn't have to pay for dates?


We wouldn't have to pay for dates, but they'd be with women who are too afraid of cooties to kiss someone on the first date.

Reminds me of the time I went out with this heavier chick. She wasn't that hot but tried hard (makeup, dressed nicely) and tried to pick something I'd like (a college comedy christmas skit SNL type show). It was nice but was more of a friend vibe, but when she wanted to make out I went for it because it was the polite thing to do.

She still tries to contact me to see if I want to go out again though. I don't block her on facebook because I'm not rude.
2012-11-13 04:47:59 PM
1 votes:

Sticky Hands: Theonceovertwice: mainstreet62: Theonceovertwice: mainstreet62: Theonceovertwice: God, I'm so f*cked.

/single
//female
///not on any dating sites

Does not compute. Why do you think you're in a bad situation?

Because I'm going to die alone. :)

What is this, I don't even.....

Theonceovertwice: It's a scary world out there. Good luck! I have given up completely.

Found the problem.

Why are you afraid of rejection?

How much time do you have?

26 minutes

make it snappy toots.


Short version: I have had my heart broken a bizzillion times, and I've broken a few, and I have learned over the years that I am not allowed to have nice things, and now I'm almost too old to have babies, and I'm sad, and it sucks, and and and f*ck it.

Yeah, that doesn't explain anything at all, but what am I supposed to do with 26 minutes when I have 39 years of tragedy to outline?

I'm also really tired of, "I don't understand why you're still single" and "you have plenty of time."

Bah!
2012-11-13 04:45:35 PM
1 votes:

Bullseyed: kxs401: Bullseyed: If a guy pays for food, holds doors, picks her up, etc. She pretty much owes the courtesy of a kiss anyway.

Guys, when a woman is absolutely insisting on paying her own way on a date? This is why. This attitude right here.

Because kissing is scary for little kids who are afraid of cooties.


No, because they have gone out with creepy guys like you who think buying them dinner means they "owe" you physical contact.
2012-11-13 04:43:28 PM
1 votes:

kxs401: Bullseyed: If a guy pays for food, holds doors, picks her up, etc. She pretty much owes the courtesy of a kiss anyway.

Guys, when a woman is absolutely insisting on paying her own way on a date? This is why. This attitude right here.


Because kissing is scary for little kids who are afraid of cooties.
2012-11-13 04:39:34 PM
1 votes:

Theonceovertwice: God, I'm so f*cked.

/single
//female
///not on any dating sites


Probably so not f*cked based on the outcome of most dating site "dates".
2012-11-13 04:38:55 PM
1 votes:

Bullseyed: Just want to be clear: I wasn't going for a full on, throw you on the hood of the car and do you make out... just a simple kiss. Got fish lips. If you go on and on about how you love hockey and you see the $250 per ticket thing on there and you cant be bothered to give a 3-5 second no tongue smack, you're not worth it.


If you think paying for things entitles you to any kind of physical intimacy, just save yourself the time and hire a hooker instead. You'll be less disappointed.
2012-11-13 04:31:12 PM
1 votes:

tlchwi02: if your car crapped the bed tommorow, could you continue to make it to your job and bring home a paycheck? if you ran out of beer, had an apartment without granite countertops, didn't have a flat screen or had an old dell, would you be able to make it to your job and bring home a paycheck? what i'm trying to say is that a good car is usually the key to all those other things. Also, if you meet at a 3rd party location, it is your first worldy pocession the other person will see. Along with good hygene, it presents a snapshot of you. rightly or wrongly, everyone makes certain judgements based on first impressions. driving a beater car is a bad first impression.


alright. good explanation. all i wanted. carry on.
2012-11-13 04:31:07 PM
1 votes:

scubamage: The hard part is actually getting up the nerve to start the conversation. It's like jumping into a cold pool - just do it and the sucky part is over almost immediately.


Cannot be emphasized enough.
2012-11-13 04:30:05 PM
1 votes:

Antimatter: I met my current GF online as well, same site, and well, sleeping together took some time. She was very conservative with such things, and actually gets creeped out if people she doesn't know well try to touch her.

Once we got really comfortable with the idea, we started to sleep together, and now she has no issues related to it.

I honestly don't regret having tow ork for it, even after we started dating. Was very worth it in the end.


Just want to be clear: I wasn't going for a full on, throw you on the hood of the car and do you make out... just a simple kiss. Got fish lips. If you go on and on about how you love hockey and you see the $250 per ticket thing on there and you cant be bothered to give a 3-5 second no tongue smack, you're not worth it.
2012-11-13 04:22:18 PM
1 votes:

Rent Party: Is it clean? Do you keep it washed and in good running condition? Or does it have chicken nuggets stuck between the seats and a passenger area that has to be cleaned out with a shovel. That is the determining factor for "nice."

If you're fresh out of college, then you should drive something appropriate for someone fresh out of college, but that doesn't mean you have to be a slob about it, and you don't have to drive something outlandish. You can pick up Joe's Firebird pretty cheap, but I wouldn't recommend it. If it looks like a piece of shiat, your potential fresh out of college mates will probably go for the fresh out of college kid that at least takes care of his car.


I have the lowest maintenance lowest flash car that is the 2002 Saturn SL1. Its silver so no washing necessary unless I go off roading (can't happen as I have a whopping 100hp. The only mess is papers and hardhats in the back due to my job. I just don't understand the severe fixation on cars when there are much more important things to spend your cash on. Beer, cool apartment, and tv/pc are my fixes as well as treating school debt like I gain levels with every payment I make.
2012-11-13 04:22:05 PM
1 votes:

Freudian_slipknot: Remember, when you go on a first internet date you're afraid she might be fat or boring. SHE is afraid of being raped and murdered.


I accept your theory as plausible. She claimed she was new to internet dating because her friends were making her because she usually meets frat douches.

Not my problem to wait around while she gets over her mental issues though. If she's not ready, she shouldn't be dating.
2012-11-13 04:21:59 PM
1 votes:

Freudian_slipknot: Bullseyed: If you still "need to get to know them" you didn't read their profile. So the first date is the second or third already.

Well, that's just completely false.

You DO know that people not only actively lie on the internet, but even the ones who are trying to be honest are putting forth an idealized self-image?

That's like saying that everyone's facebook is an accurate representation of themselves and their lives. It's not. At all.

Profiles are just for doing early, preliminary weeding out of people you definitely won't get along with or have any chance of being attracted to. If you think you're learning anything real off of them, well, that's why you have trouble with internet dating.

Just the way a person carries themselves as they walk into a room will tell you more about who that person actually is than the most carefully-written profile. The first meeting isn't even a date yet - it's just a chance to figure out if that's a person you actually want to go on a first date with.


Also, it's really hard to judge if there's any chemistry until you meet in person. I've had the most promising dates absolutely fizzle because something was just... missing... in person.
2012-11-13 04:19:33 PM
1 votes:
So let me see if I can condense this:

Hipster with a major case of "I'm so much smarter than everyone else" writes a profile that doesn't appeal to him, and then is shocked that not everyone is looking for the same things he is.

Am I right? Am I, am I?

Really, though, this "experiment" was stupid and poorly thought out, and the sole purpose of it was belittling people who aren't exactly like him.

1) People don't expect most 23 year olds to be intellectual superstars. Most aren't. Even the well-educated and incredibly brilliant ones tend to be smart in that insipid pseudo-intellectual way that makes me want to stab a fork into my ears repeatedly after 15 minutes of conversation. I know this is a generalization, and there are rare exceptions, but for the most part I find that people rarely have anything terribly interesting to say until around 25. I know I didn't.

2) Misspellings. Most people don't care. Really. I know this might come as a shock to people who write long-form on AOL blogs (zing!), but the vast majority of the population of the world really doesn't read very often, writes even less, and generally assumes that so long as your writing is comprehensible then it's ok. And they have a point. As a professional writer, it hurts a little to acknowledge; most people read/write solely to pass on information with no regard to the inherent beauty of the written word. If reader managed to understand writer, and writer got their point across, the experience can be considered a smashing success for all involved.

3) Geico commercials are amazing, and easily better than most tv shows. On that note, it's obvious that the author doesn't have a high opinion of Katy Perry, Two and a Half Men, or Krumping. Some people do. Putting that in the profile was just a way for a middle-brow simpleton to assert his cultural superiority. A difficult task since I feel like people who spend significant time talking about how much better they are than everyone else are incredibly boring, devoid of intelligent thought or opinion, and are generally mindless sheep who are different from the people they ridicule only in the superficial sense that they conform to a different standard, and not in any real, meaningful way as they might assume.

4) Most glaringly, the author assumes that people message 23 year old girls on OK Cupid to find lasting, long-term, meaningful relationships with intelligent, thoughtful, assertive and confident women. They don't. Most people on most dating sites are looking for some ass for the weekend. It gets better as you age, and by the time you hit your mid-30s the dynamic is notably different (the data guys at OKC actually did a post about messaging by age group, look it up). But putting up a picture of a cute 23 year old girl with a profile of what appears to be a mild case of retardation proves nothing. Of course most of the messages are going to be stupid: it's a biased sample. This proves nothing, and the author should be taken out back and shot for thinking something so meaningless and full of fail somehow makes a profound statement about humanity.
2012-11-13 04:19:22 PM
1 votes:

kxs401: Bullseyed: If a guy pays for food, holds doors, picks her up, etc. She pretty much owes the courtesy of a kiss anyway.

Guys, when a woman is absolutely insisting on paying her own way on a date? This is why. This attitude right here.


wait... so if more guys had this attitude the rest of us wouldn't have to pay for dates?
2012-11-13 04:15:51 PM
1 votes:

Rent Party: thecpt: Aidan: I read it as "value things that are good, like a clean car, a place to come back to that's yours, your own body, etc." But I can see how it might be viewed differently.

Why do girls care sooo much about cars? I don't even care about cars as a guy. I just care that my apartment, computer, bed, tv, and wardrobe are nice. Cars are a money pit.

They don't. The car is simply a way to tell something about the man. If the car is a pimpin convertable with dice in the window, that says something about the guy that drives it. If the car is a non-descript sedan that is clean on the inside, that also says something about the man.

 

I think it depends on your age & location. If you live in a city and you're on the younger side, not having a car/own place isn't as big of a deal (or it hasn't been in my experience). OTOH, if you're approaching 50, have no car, still have roommates*, then yeah, that'd be a pretty big red flag I'd think...
2012-11-13 04:08:04 PM
1 votes:

dj_spanmaster: Or, you can be a jerk when she acts squirrely, tell her about the fake after-date you're about to have, and see if she changes her tune.


More or less. By that point I had already learned to date 4 or 5 girls from POF at a time, so I really didn't care. Otherwise I wouldn't have gone for it at the end.
2012-11-13 04:07:19 PM
1 votes:

Rent Party: thecpt: Aidan: I read it as "value things that are good, like a clean car, a place to come back to that's yours, your own body, etc." But I can see how it might be viewed differently.

Why do girls care sooo much about cars? I don't even care about cars as a guy. I just care that my apartment, computer, bed, tv, and wardrobe are nice. Cars are a money pit.

They don't. The car is simply a way to tell something about the man. If the car is a pimpin convertable with dice in the window, that says something about the guy that drives it. If the car is a non-descript sedan that is clean on the inside, that also says something about the man.


No, that's not entirely true. Some girls will suck your dick just because you have a BMW. Seriously. Hell, there's a G&M article about this middle aged pudgy journalist who had a BMW 5-series for a month as a social experiment, and chicks of all ages would come up to him just because of the car. He was amazed that such shallow women existed.
2012-11-13 04:06:10 PM
1 votes:

ChaosStar: jst3p: ChaosStar: I met my wife on OKCupid so I'm getting a kick out of these replies..

That's where I met her too, last week. She gives great head.

Spoken like a true OKCupid user


Just messing with you.

What the hell is up with OK cupid as a name? Way to set your sights low daters.

"I want to find someone to date, I think I will go to a place where the name literally means 'mediocre matchmaker'"

Why not "AmazingCupid"?
2012-11-13 04:05:00 PM
1 votes:

thecpt: Aidan: I read it as "value things that are good, like a clean car, a place to come back to that's yours, your own body, etc." But I can see how it might be viewed differently.

Why do girls care sooo much about cars? I don't even care about cars as a guy. I just care that my apartment, computer, bed, tv, and wardrobe are nice. Cars are a money pit.


They don't. The car is simply a way to tell something about the man. If the car is a pimpin convertable with dice in the window, that says something about the guy that drives it. If the car is a non-descript sedan that is clean on the inside, that also says something about the man.
2012-11-13 04:02:06 PM
1 votes:
I created an AWFUL profile, and used a "faces of meth" woman as my profile picture... and this gets TONS of hits.

i.imgur.com 

You'd think they'd realize it's a mug shot.
2012-11-13 04:01:12 PM
1 votes:

Aidan: The saddest farking thing is that I read the fake profile and it didn't really stand out as any worse than others I've read. Youtube comments come to mind...


I had the same thought, on of my friends have nieces that have Facebook profiles that look pretty much like that.
2012-11-13 04:01:01 PM
1 votes:

thecpt: Aidan: I read it as "value things that are good, like a clean car, a place to come back to that's yours, your own body, etc." But I can see how it might be viewed differently.

Why do girls care sooo much about cars? I don't even care about cars as a guy. I just care that my apartment, computer, bed, tv, and wardrobe are nice. Cars are a money pit.


One of the very best things about my wife is that I'm absolutely certain she would be unable to tell anyone the make/model of my vehicle. She is blind to vehicles as status. It's bizarre.

She still loves expensive shoes, clothes, vacations, housing, etc... So she isn't some enlightened subset of woman. Just does not give one cold shiat about cars.
2012-11-13 04:00:25 PM
1 votes:
My roomate suggested I should try online dating. Probably because Ive hooked up with a few of her friends. It's her fault though, she invites 18-24 yr old girls over they run around in booty shorts and yoga pants yeah im not gonna flirt with em then. Ill jsut sit in my room and bate.
2012-11-13 03:54:50 PM
1 votes:
If you are using misspellings as evidence of a low iq, then you need to misspell not just the little words, but the big ones like inspiration, immediately, and everyone as well. Obvious troll is obvious.

Bonus points for using supposably and for all intensive purposes.
2012-11-13 03:54:43 PM
1 votes:
I met my wife on OKCupid so I'm getting a kick out of these replies..
2012-11-13 03:51:01 PM
1 votes:

notdorothy: recently divorced
haven't dated in 15 years
You people are freaking me out


Oh man. I feel for you. Everything has changed since 1997. If something happens to my wife, I swear I'm finished. I wouldn't even go there again.
2012-11-13 03:47:59 PM
1 votes:

Lets talk frankly about internal cleanliness: Bit'O'Gristle: Anyone have the chat room troll that posted years ago? The angry pirate one?

/anyone?

Bloodninja

There ya go.



How in god's holy name has this trove of hilarity eluded me all these years?

Jesus-fark, I am completely embarrassing myself at work. That is the funniest goddamn thing I have read this year. Easily.
2012-11-13 03:47:28 PM
1 votes:

Rent Party: OgreMagi: I've basically given up on online dating (and dating any other way). With OKCupid and POF, women's expectations are way too high. They are expecting a greek god millionaire that is ten years younger, so guys like me - your average looking middle age guy (ok, I'm being kind to myself) with a decent income (but not a millionaire) doesn't stand a chance unless I'm willing to date hugely obese women (who list themselves as "athletic" or "average"). No thanks. 

Oh, and women complained about guys not taking the time to write a long introduction. That's because after dozen times of spending forever to write the perfect message and getting no farking response at all, not even a "thanks but no thanks" we get a bit frustrated.

Try the following.

Shave the goofy beard and mustache. Dump the convertible. Get a short haircut and buy a nice sedan. An Audi or something. And buy a house if you don't have one. Point is, you want to look like a professional and not a mid-life crisis pimp.

Then do the following on your next date. Do not talk about yourself unless asked, and keep all answers under two minutes. Ask only questions about her. Do not talk about politics, ever. No fart jokes. No penis jokes. Never mention an ex or how hard it is in the dating world. Point here is that you want her to think you're comfortable in her presence, and not a simpering noob.

After, ask if you can call her again. If she says yes, wait three days. If she says no, then thank her for the experience and find a new one.

If you have a job, practice good hygiene, and can carry on a conversation there is no reason at all any man can't date successfully.


Every time I see this dude's login, I think "Oh yeah, that's the guy who hates his ex and her teenage daughter." If I know that merely from reading a handful of posts on Fark, I can guess why he's not a highly successful dater.
2012-11-13 03:44:38 PM
1 votes:

cheap_thoughts: I write a halfway intelligent profile, and rarely get messages or profile views. Clearly I'm doing it wrong.


I ready your fark profile and my takeaway was "Likes cats way to much" but maybe your dating profile is different.
2012-11-13 03:39:08 PM
1 votes:

DylanW: lordargent: cheap_thoughts: Find 95% match. Send intelligent e-mail. Get no response.

Yup.

Freudian_slipknot:Found that the best way to meet decent guys was to email them first. The ones who are too busy to send out relentless messages to women on the internet seem to be the ones who are actually worth meeting.

Yup. For me, it's that I don't want to send out impersonal messages scatter-shot or try to juggle multiple conversations (which just feels wrong). And I'm careful about messaging because you can only take so much of the no-response thing before it affects you.


Pretty much. The best conversation I've had on the site was with someone who I didn't notice was in Maryland(which is to say, 1000+ miles away) until part way through. As was usually the case she messaged me first, and either way it ended like they all always do, she eventually stopped responding. I try to send thoughtful messages, ask questions about things the mention on their profile, so on and so forth, and it's still very rare I get any responses. Got to the point where I very rarely bother anymore.
2012-11-13 03:32:48 PM
1 votes:

Bullseyed: I did some POF when I was in grad school. I was working at a big company and would get hockey tickets that were $250+ in face value (aka best seats in the place). Found a girl on there who said she loved hockey and was on the college lacrosse team.

She wouldn't let me pick her up but instead asked me to meet her at a nearby bar before the game. When I got there she said she'd meet me at the arena instead. We went to the club in the VIP level before the game, but she didn't want any food. We talked and had a pretty good time. After the game we were heading to my car when she decided to bail, and acted really awkwardly when I went for a goodbye kiss.

That's why guys will end up going for girls like the one in the fake profile. You can go all out for a quality girl and she'll completely shut you down, or you can go for the dumb easy girl who will be very appreciative of your effort, even if you're not a perfect match.


You expected a kiss three hours after meeting this woman? Maybe she was picking up on your "creep" vibe...
2012-11-13 03:21:42 PM
1 votes:

jst3p: My ex dated a guy for awhile that she met on a christian single site. He didn't want sex till they were married. Turned out he was molesting her son (not mine).


o.O
2012-11-13 03:19:21 PM
1 votes:

KatjaMouse: WhippingBoy: The thing that kills me the most is "I'm looking for an honest man who's not looking for sex"

Honey, if I guy tells you that he's not looking for sex, he's lying.

Or closeted.


My ex dated a guy for awhile that she met on a christian single site. He didn't want sex till they were married. Turned out he was molesting her son (not mine).
2012-11-13 03:18:50 PM
1 votes:

WhippingBoy: The thing that kills me the most is "I'm looking for an honest man who's not looking for sex"

Honey, if I guy tells you that he's not looking for sex, he's lying.


This. Otherwise he'd be at home spanking it.
2012-11-13 03:13:25 PM
1 votes:

WhippingBoy: The thing that kills me the most is "I'm looking for an honest man who's not looking for sex"

Honey, if I guy tells you that he's not looking for sex, he's lying.


Or closeted.
2012-11-13 03:13:23 PM
1 votes:

NCg8r: dick-browser


funnied
2012-11-13 03:12:56 PM
1 votes:
The thing that kills me the most is "I'm looking for an honest man who's not looking for sex"

Honey, if I guy tells you that he's not looking for sex, he's lying.
2012-11-13 03:11:22 PM
1 votes:

Aidan: No, no. I get why he responded. Even I did the quizzical dog thing at your Weeners, which sounded like "Gosh some women are weird" instead of "Gosh some people are weird for thinking that some women are weird."


It was more in response of what sounded like an individual woman who may, or may not, have reeked of desperation to get an internet date home just as the drinks were ordered.
2012-11-13 03:10:12 PM
1 votes:

NCg8r: Lets talk frankly about internal cleanliness: I met one person on okCupid. Train wreck all the way.

I can deal with a nerdy single mom that's way into costuming and other comicon/ren faire stuff.
Couldn't deal with the clingyness, disinterested mothering, medical issues, incurable STD's and assorted neuroses.

Her friends were awesome, though.

I flat refused to get involved with any woman with children. I always appreciated when they would put pics of their kids in their profile. No time wasted at all!

I mean really... Your KIDS' pics on a dating site?! Yes yes, center of your universe, only thing that matters, etc. How about you log off the dick-browser and go be their mom?


Eh, I'll do a single mom, no big. Might even date one. this girl in particular didn't go any farther in the profile than to mention she had a kid... it was how she went about being a mom for the couple of weeks we hung out that really killed it. "Oh you're not staying with you father tonight, so here's dinner and when you're done it's bedtime" Kid was 5 and the sun was still up.

I have a kid, so I understand the difficulty in dating as a single parent, but if you can't even pretend that you like the kid for the sake of company, you suck horribly. Everything was her life, her friends, her hobbies, her issues... the kid was just something that happened, and lived in a room in her apartment when it wasn't at the father's house.

Terribly sad, but might have been an off week. Never found out though, I bailed when we had to have the herp talk. No red spread for me.
2012-11-13 03:08:50 PM
1 votes:

Rent Party: chopit: Rent Party: I loved online dating. I never pulled more tail in my life than when I had an account on the pussy catalog known as "Match."

I've had a lot of 2-date relationships with girls I met on match. Generally it's me buying them dinner, followed by them not putting out. Meh, no chemistry. I did have luck with an intelligent young stoner in a doctorate program, but when she spontaneously told me she was a crazy pyromaniac, I stopped responding to her texts.

The easiest way to get rid of a woman is to tell her she's not the only one. Right after my divorce, I would have at least two, and as many as five on the hook. None of them knew about the others, as that would be just bad manners. I would always preface the first date introductions with "I'm just taking things slow and checking out the wading pool again." If one got clingy or crazy (and don't knock the pyros until you've tried the pyros) I'd simply let it slip that I had a date with a different woman later and can't see her that night. Then she gets to be all outraged and break up with me.

The trick to getting anyone to do anything is to get them to think it was their idea.


Interesting twist. I always told them up-front I was dating but never discussed it at length because none of them can handle honesty (unless it lines up perfectly with what they want it to be). I'm still with the one girl who didn't flip her shiz when I would bring up another woman.
2012-11-13 03:08:18 PM
1 votes:

I should be in the kitchen: One night my then-roommate and I were bored and took eHarmony's free personality test and at the end, we both got the message "we're sorry but we are unable to match you to anyone at this time." Rejected! Probably because we're both atheists and neither of us want kids, EVAR.


Sounds like you and your roommate should have scissored.
2012-11-13 03:07:45 PM
1 votes:

Poorlytoldjoke: Katjamaus, there are women who enjoy BDSM. There are also an awful lot who know this is a solid scene to look for someone who will abuse them.


*raises hand* ummm... yeah. I know. I'm one of them. You should take a peek at the thread.
2012-11-13 03:07:01 PM
1 votes:

cheap_thoughts: I write a halfway intelligent profile, and rarely get messages or profile views. Clearly I'm doing it wrong.


Well, your first problem is that Fark isn't really a dating site. Unless you have a profile elsewhere to be judged by.

Second, you have to be realistic about your expectations. Do you actively look for matches, or expect them to come to you? It's like throwing up a commercial website with no other marketing strategy. Who is going to look up your URL if they don't know you are out there? There's probably a lot of other profiles out there to choose from. How many guys (assuming that's your thing) include Kansas in their searches on that website?

Do you Allerpet your cats? If not, consider doing so, and advertise the fact. That says "I'm looking to share my life with someone" and moves you out of the "crazy cat lady" category (imo).
2012-11-13 03:06:43 PM
1 votes:

browntimmy: I'm on plentyoffish, but I rarely ever log on because any time I go there I just waste half an hour looking at disappointing profiles, get bored, and go do something else. I've probably skipped over some good ones, but damn, it's annoying to see so many put no effort into their profiles to differentiate themselves from the rest of the herd.


As a lady I never underestimated the importance of some well placed quips and a smattering of snark. In fact it worked in my favor a couple of times.
2012-11-13 03:05:41 PM
1 votes:
I had an okcupid account for a long time. Met my current gf of 2 years on there. POF seemed like a place to meet Christian women who wanted to complain to me that I wouldn't date a conservative.

I made the mistake of making a TF thread once and posting my profile. I'm a masochist. The name on there was halfdead, but it's been gone for a bit.

Katjamaus, there are women who enjoy BDSM. There are also an awful lot who know this is a solid scene to look for someone who will abuse them. And Nadaesque says hi.
2012-11-13 03:04:23 PM
1 votes:
I'm on plentyoffish, but I rarely ever log on because any time I go there I just waste half an hour looking at disappointing profiles, get bored, and go do something else. I've probably skipped over some good ones, but damn, it's annoying to see so many put no effort into their profiles to differentiate themselves from the rest of the herd.
2012-11-13 03:00:24 PM
1 votes:

Schroedinger's Glory Hole: carbohydrates.


Don't be a dick.
2012-11-13 02:59:54 PM
1 votes:

Lets talk frankly about internal cleanliness: I met one person on okCupid. Train wreck all the way.

I can deal with a nerdy single mom that's way into costuming and other comicon/ren faire stuff.
Couldn't deal with the clingyness, disinterested mothering, medical issues, incurable STD's and assorted neuroses.

Her friends were awesome, though.


I flat refused to get involved with any woman with children. I always appreciated when they would put pics of their kids in their profile. No time wasted at all!

I mean really... Your KIDS' pics on a dating site?! Yes yes, center of your universe, only thing that matters, etc. How about you log off the dick-browser and go be their mom?
2012-11-13 02:58:58 PM
1 votes:

ManateeGag: cheap_thoughts: I write a halfway intelligent profile, and rarely get messages or profile views. Clearly I'm doing it wrong.

maybe you should put in more misspellings. tart up your picture some. you're cute, but guys on dating sites are looking for girls who look like they would be willing to touch their penis after a dinner at the "Red Loster"


This! We guys are not exactly complex.
2012-11-13 02:58:58 PM
1 votes:
This seems to explain why I have better results on paid sites like Match than I've had on free sites. If all the women are getting deluged by these kinds of emails, it makes it much harder to cut through the noise.
2012-11-13 02:57:43 PM
1 votes:

Lets talk frankly about internal cleanliness: Mudd's woman: What's the back story of that Bloodninja link? And i need a new keyboard.

Bloodninja's exploits likely date from as early as 1997, judging from the references made, to about 2001. One of the earliest recorded trolls, he set about trolling the internet before it was common, let alone a national pastime as it is today. Nothing is really known of his identity (aside from a possible alias, "Loren") or his current whereabouts.

He is a legend among trolls.


Ah yes... that takes me back. Damn I feel old.
2012-11-13 02:51:43 PM
1 votes:
I've done online dating enough and have suffered through enough painfully bad dates that I read every word on a girl's profile. Poor grammar, republicans, or being incapable of carrying on simple conversation in email are all non-starters.

But I suppose if you're only looking to get laid then it probably makes sense to target the stupid.
2012-11-13 02:48:53 PM
1 votes:

lordargent: cheap_thoughts: Find 95% match. Send intelligent e-mail. Get no response.


Yup.

Freudian_slipknot:Found that the best way to meet decent guys was to email them first. The ones who are too busy to send out relentless messages to women on the internet seem to be the ones who are actually worth meeting.

Yup. For me, it's that I don't want to send out impersonal messages scatter-shot or try to juggle multiple conversations (which just feels wrong). And I'm careful about messaging because you can only take so much of the no-response thing before it affects you.
2012-11-13 02:47:36 PM
1 votes:
Uh, this profile looks indistinguishable from a LOT of actual profiles. Not one I'd reply to in a thousand years, but I've seen plenty that bad. The guy didn't try hard enough.
2012-11-13 02:46:35 PM
1 votes:

Mudd's woman: What's the back story of that Bloodninja link? And i need a new keyboard.


As far as I know it was just some guy who had way too much fun trolling people trying to cyber on IRC back in the day. I first saw them on bash.org, but I'm not sure if that's where they came from.
2012-11-13 02:46:17 PM
1 votes:

LargeCanine: WTF is krumping?

*uses internets*

That is a thing? Hmph.

I... I'd krump her.


Found this comment on a YouTube video for "krumping" that pretty much explains it quite adequately:

"I still haven't figured out what the hell krumping is. It just seems like being attacked by invisible bees, in an invisible mosh pit, with invisible marbles on the floor."
2012-11-13 02:44:31 PM
1 votes:

LeroyBourne: I don't know, if she's willing to let her cousin finger bang her, she's probably willing to do some kinky arse shiat.


Umm... in that story, she got so drunk that she blacked out. Seems less like she let her cousin and more insidious.
2012-11-13 02:40:50 PM
1 votes:
So glad I'm done with dating. I met some decent guys on Yahoo personals years ago, including my current boyfriend (of 5+ years) but was also contacted by some real weirdos. There were several who obviously didn't even read my profile where I said up front I don't have kids and don't want to have any (plus that was a searchable/filterable option which I had checked) and then sent me a message where they talk about how their favorite thing to do is "spend time with my kids."

Or my other favorite, the guys who had obvious generic messages they sent to every attractive girl in their city. I received one of those messages and then a couple weeks later, a friend of mine posted on MySpace a cheesy generic message she had received... and it was the exact same message I got, from the same guy! We had a good laugh and posted links to his profile for all our friends to see :-)

I never did try eHarmony, though I know a few people who met their spouses there (and my SIL met Babydaddy #2 there!) One night my then-roommate and I were bored and took eHarmony's free personality test and at the end, we both got the message "we're sorry but we are unable to match you to anyone at this time." Rejected! Probably because we're both atheists and neither of us want kids, EVAR.

I'm glad online dating has gained acceptance, even though as this story shows there are plenty of trolls looking for a quick hook-up or a scam. It was easy for me to meet people in school but I tend to be too shy to just walk up to someone and start a conversation. Having the initial icebreaker of chatting online or emailing back and forth helped me so much.
2012-11-13 02:39:25 PM
1 votes:

Dinjiin: rooftop235: She told me that they were separated for three years and that he still hadn't given up. as I was headed out the door she asked what was going on and I replied "I'm not here for this kind of drama" and left.

Smart move. Everyone I know who has dated people who were separated from their spouse noted that there was way too much drama because of it. There is a good chance that you'll end up being a pawn in some scheme to make the other spouse jealous. Others suddenly decide that they want to reinvent themselves once the divorce comes through and that you remind them too much of the turmoil of their former life.



Oh so true.

My general position was not to get involved in any sort of crap like that. Also avoided anyone who was "waiting someone out". No use in putting good effort into someone who was hung up on someone else.

Except once, when I let myself be the pawn. She was hot and crazy, I figured someone was going to fark her so it might as well be me. It was a great 2 months.
2012-11-13 02:37:21 PM
1 votes:

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: KatjaMouse: scream "OMG THIS GUY WROTE IN HIS PROFILE THAT HE WOULD TOTALLY KILL A FRIDAY NIGHT WITH HIS DREAM WOMAN BY WATCHING OLD STEVE MARTIN AND MONTY PYTHON MOVIES!" (editor's note: she's a fan both those things)

How you doin'

/How about Fawlty Towers and the Young Ones?


I think you meant to ask "How's SHE do'n" since I was not the subject of that post. But as for Fawlty Towers I know she liked that one. It's our older sister who relished in The Young Ones though. I didn't even know about it until we borrowed her box set last year.

I'm more of a Fry & Laurie girl myself.
2012-11-13 02:35:35 PM
1 votes:
This is TOTALLY not the creepiest girl profile I have ever seen on that site. Here are some highlights from the crap-fest I have seen there:

Tranny men posting fake profiles as women
Underage juggalo *shudder*
Psychotic, racist redhead with a scary profile that puts the one FTA to shame
Stuck up women with profiles looking similar to what is FTA
Underage teens with profiles looking similar to what is FTA

This is really par for the course...story should have been handled by Ric Romero.
2012-11-13 02:32:36 PM
1 votes:

cheap_thoughts: I write a halfway intelligent profile, and rarely get messages or profile views. Clearly I'm doing it wrong.


You are cute...did you stop bringing up getting fingered by your cousin? You should stop that and start krumping...
2012-11-13 02:28:48 PM
1 votes:
I met a great person on OKCupid (owned by Match.com).
We're still seeing each other weekly (we live an hour apart) after a few months and things are awesome.

What I found....

Craigslist: Twelventy Dozen Roses

Plentyoffish.com (chicks who just want to get some or hoping to snag a man)

OKCupid: Wide range of folks, from skeezers to professionals

Match.com: Higher maintenance group of people, pay wall might mean less skeezers but also means a bit more high maintenance folks who think they are your gift from god.

eHarmony: MARRY ME NOW!!!!

Just my sampling....
Take it for what you will...
2012-11-13 02:26:46 PM
1 votes:

Freudian_slipknot: Met my current boyfriend on OKCupid.

Found that the best way to meet decent guys was to email them first. The ones who are too busy to send out relentless messages to women on the internet seem to be the ones who are actually worth meeting.

All of the women I know who have had bad times only ever talked to the creeps who were trolling for sex, and the men spent all of their time trying to get the attention of the (mostly fake or crazy) women on the site.

/went on a lot of actually good, if not-quite-right dates
//only met a couple of creeps
///made some actual friends


It's also a good idea because you are likely to get a response and probably a date just because the guy will be impressed you contacted him. It is exceedingly rare in our culture. Women still by and large wish to be pursued, which makes sense since they then don't have to put their emotions on the line by risking the initial rejection. However it also means if you break that mold you put yourself ahead of those that don't.
2012-11-13 02:24:43 PM
1 votes:
I met like 3 pretty decent guys on that site, one I fell head over heels for but logistically we couldn't work out so it didn't go anywhere. One of the other guys I met on there lasted almost a year and we still meet up once in a while. Then like a month after that relationship ended I had a drunken hookup with some random guy and now he and I are living together with a dog and picking out floral arrangements for the impending nuptials.
2012-11-13 02:23:34 PM
1 votes:

scarmig: This kind of stuff reminds me ever so gently how nice it is to be happily married.

/Because the alternative is mountainside hermitage and industrial stacks of pr0n.


You say that as if there is something wrong with that? Who are you to judge.
2012-11-13 02:22:04 PM
1 votes:
As a man, I had the most success on OKC when I blatantly ignored the headings and just wrote random amusing paragraphs about stuff you would likely tell someone over a beer.

There are only so many times you can read "I love to travel. On Friday night, I am just as comfortable staying in with you and a movie as I am going out on the town. I really couldn't live with out my friends and family. The most embarrassing thing is that I am on this site." before you barf.

It is really impressive how much space people can fill up without saying a damn thing.
2012-11-13 02:17:39 PM
1 votes:
Met my hubby on the internet 4 yrs ago, also getting a kick....
2012-11-13 02:16:48 PM
1 votes:
I put on my robe and wizard hat.
2012-11-13 02:16:05 PM
1 votes:
Met my current boyfriend on OKCupid.

Found that the best way to meet decent guys was to email them first. The ones who are too busy to send out relentless messages to women on the internet seem to be the ones who are actually worth meeting.

All of the women I know who have had bad times only ever talked to the creeps who were trolling for sex, and the men spent all of their time trying to get the attention of the (mostly fake or crazy) women on the site.

/went on a lot of actually good, if not-quite-right dates
//only met a couple of creeps
///made some actual friends
2012-11-13 02:15:06 PM
1 votes:
i don't understand this. the guy went fishing for trash, and then gloated when trash turned up. how is that funny or interesting?
2012-11-13 02:12:57 PM
1 votes:
I met one person on okCupid. Train wreck all the way.

I can deal with a nerdy single mom that's way into costuming and other comicon/ren faire stuff.
Couldn't deal with the clingyness, disinterested mothering, medical issues, incurable STD's and assorted neuroses.

Her friends were awesome, though.
2012-11-13 02:12:37 PM
1 votes:

NCg8r: Ummmm...... that's not so outrageous as, well, I'm gonna go with Representative... of the average online profile.

I met my girl on PoF but it took a ton of sifting through the garbage to find her. Seems that every obese single mother is looking for a man to treat them like a princess (while being VERY clear that they won't waste time talking to men who are interested in sex with their new girlfriend).


They also hate cheaters and liars.

ANd want you to have a good jerb.
2012-11-13 02:11:55 PM
1 votes:
This kind of stuff reminds me ever so gently how nice it is to be happily married.

/Because the alternative is mountainside hermitage and industrial stacks of pr0n.
2012-11-13 02:11:18 PM
1 votes:

LazerFish: [www.myteespot.com image 217x400]


Occupation: full on rapist
2012-11-13 02:10:52 PM
1 votes:

cheap_thoughts: I write a halfway intelligent profile, and rarely get messages or profile views. Clearly I'm doing it wrong.


Hell, I'd date you, just based on your fark profile. You're cute, and so is Hank the kitty :)
2012-11-13 02:09:58 PM
1 votes:
www.myteespot.com
2012-11-13 02:09:50 PM
1 votes:
Article writer, tries to write fake profile making the girl sounds stupid.

writes profile that just sounds like a normal girl.
2012-11-13 02:05:54 PM
1 votes:

rooftop235: NCg8r: Ummmm...... that's not so outrageous as, well, I'm gonna go with Representative... of the average online profile.

I met my girl on PoF but it took a ton of sifting through the garbage to find her. Seems that every obese single mother is looking for a man to treat them like a princess (while being VERY clear that they won't waste time talking to men who are interested in sex with their new girlfriend).

I met one on pof and when I met her in person, her husband was there pawing on her at the bar. She told me that they were separated for three years and that he still hadn't given up. as I was headed out the door she asked what was going on and I replied "I'm not herefor this kind of drama" and left.


Good for you, sir. A smart man folds on a shiatty hand.
2012-11-13 02:05:48 PM
1 votes:
I loved online dating. I never pulled more tail in my life than when I had an account on the pussy catalog known as "Match."
2012-11-13 02:05:38 PM
1 votes:

Bit'O'Gristle: Anyone have the chat room troll that posted years ago? The angry pirate one?

/anyone?


This one

And another, same guy 

/nsfw language......
2012-11-13 02:05:29 PM
1 votes:
Did this years ago with a female friend, she needed a laugh and was busting her sides as we did it.
See Disfunctional on POF. Got some email, responded with a polite no-thanks in most cases, ignored the others, never went further than that.

cheap_thoughts: I write a halfway intelligent profile, and rarely get messages or profile views. Clearly I'm doing it wrong.


Nah you're doing it right, unless you want to date guys attracted to idiots. Don't target an audience, let the one in the audience who stands out notice you. Or something like that....
2012-11-13 02:04:06 PM
1 votes:

ISO15693: So... hardcore clown dancing for god? Why have I not heard of this before!?


So I thought you were making shiat up. I went to wiki.

I... I don't even know what life is anymore. I'm adrift. What. The. Fark.
2012-11-13 02:04:03 PM
1 votes:

Ehcks: I've only met one person on OKCupid. All I can remember about her is that she's a gluten intolerant vegan who's even less outgoing than I am.

Introverts don't mix well.



The only one I've met through there contacted me. She's a Doctor of Ancient Crap at the local university and, at 40-something, was too baby-crazy to notice that I'd plainly stated that I can't/won't make more babies. When I made that clear, she basically bolted.

Never got a chance to stick my dick in the crazy.
2012-11-13 02:02:30 PM
1 votes:
Who reads their profile
2012-11-13 02:01:24 PM
1 votes:
browse through that profile a little and make sure you aren't getting ready to message an illiterate part time prostitute with a rubber arm and a history of vehicular crimes.

Mom?
2012-11-13 01:55:36 PM
1 votes:

Pair-o-Dice: "Can I cum in your mouth or your pussy?" Dayum, dude doesn't beat around the bush.


Noob. Never ask, just do.
2012-11-13 01:55:25 PM
1 votes:

Jument: How is this surprising? Some of it was funny to read but let's face it, men who are looking to get laid will often stoop pretty low. We've all been there.


I don't think we've all heard that a girl was molested by her cousin and used that to shift the conversation, rather than activating the ejector seat. I personally have a pretty low bar for shiat I will put up with when approaching a woman.
2012-11-13 01:54:35 PM
1 votes:
I've only met one person on OKCupid. All I can remember about her is that she's a gluten intolerant vegan who's even less outgoing than I am.

Introverts don't mix well.
2012-11-13 01:52:53 PM
1 votes:
I didn't find anything wrong with the profile. Mispellings can be over looked, krumping can be learned, and chili is universal. But I would have thrown a flag on the field at the IMs. Clearly someone looking to get a rise.

BTW, I sent jenny90210@aol my penis back in the day and she NEVER got back to me! That biatch ruined my online experience!!
2012-11-13 01:52:00 PM
1 votes:

corygavinjones: "At home from the docter. Had to get my arm refitted. Are u a Lakers fan?"

Amazing


This was the precise point of my nostril/coffee interaction. I thought "did she go for the three-pointer so hard she dislocated something? Fictionally, I mean?"

Then I realized that utter non-sequiturs were as good a cock-tease technique as announcing C-sections and casual incest.

This explains some marriages I've seen.
2012-11-13 01:50:33 PM
1 votes:
Brings back memories. I remember having a profile on hotornot (or some such site) when I was literally 15 or so and the sheer volume of pervs who wrote me despite me admitting my age was disgusting. I was 15 though so I thought that made me hot shiat. Reading through that made my skin crawl a little.
2012-11-13 01:49:38 PM
1 votes:
I think I just found his real profile pic:

i758.photobucket.com
2012-11-13 01:46:43 PM
1 votes:
there's stories of lonely guys flying half way around the world to meet Nigerian princesses.
2012-11-13 01:45:17 PM
1 votes:
Sooo glad I met my wife of 23 years in the days before the internet...
2012-11-13 01:44:48 PM
1 votes:
Met my partner of 10 years over an online service so I'm getting a kick.
2012-11-13 01:42:39 PM
1 votes:
Sort of reminds me back when something awful used to create fake world of warcraft characters and troll the guys hitting on them.
2012-11-13 01:41:39 PM
1 votes:
How is this surprising? Some of it was funny to read but let's face it, men who are looking to get laid will often stoop pretty low. We've all been there.
2012-11-13 01:40:42 PM
1 votes:
Pffft, amateur.

I was doing this in '09 with a "dream girl" profile and just shooting guys down. It was a blast.
2012-11-13 12:49:40 PM
1 votes:

cheap_thoughts: I write a halfway intelligent profile, and rarely get messages or profile views. Clearly I'm doing it wrong.


maybe you should put in more misspellings. tart up your picture some. you're cute, but guys on dating sites are looking for girls who look like they would be willing to touch their penis after a dinner at the "Red Loster"
2012-11-13 12:27:40 PM
1 votes:
Hey, chili, krumping, and interpretive dance are my passions as well!
 
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