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(Slate)   "America's best barista tells you how to make the perfect cup of coffee in seven steps." Subby can tell you how to do it in two steps: put the K-cup in the Keurig and press the little button   (slate.com) divider line 123
    More: Silly, baristas, cup of coffee  
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4909 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Nov 2012 at 11:03 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-13 11:24:51 AM  
Fill the carafe with milk, put in the Nespresso capsule, press latte.

www.nespresso.com
 
2012-11-13 11:27:07 AM  
My superior recipe:

1) Discard all coffee in the house.
2) Do this instead.
 
2012-11-13 11:27:44 AM  

Madbassist1: Ironclad2: You sound like a Bud Light drinker.

YOu sound like a pretentious douchebag.


In his defense that is the goal of the big beer companies. They pay people good money to ensure consistency. If a batch tastes better than usual they don't let it go out like that. They want the customer to have the same taste in every bottle year after year.

"Not sure if it's "good" or "not good" but it is definitely consistent: same cupbeer every time." That might as well be their motto.
 
2012-11-13 11:28:34 AM  

CokeBear: Weekday mornings are more about an efficient caffeine delivery system, not a good tasting cup of coffee.

Anyone tried caffeine-infused soap in the shower? Does that stuff actually work?


Yeah, but it tastes nasty.
 
2012-11-13 11:29:43 AM  
We make a 12-cup pot at a time and put it in the fridge once it cools down. Florida is definitely iced coffee land.
 
2012-11-13 11:31:25 AM  
My wife insisted on putting a Keurig on our wedding registry. I'm pretty sure you could count on one hand the number of cups of coffee she's had with it.

Like most of those before me, I find the brews it makes to be rather bland, although it could be that I haven't found the right one yet. All the same, I'd still rather grind my own beans. Yeah, my Mr. Coffee isn't going to make perfect coffee, but it's the right spot for me between efficiency and quality.

louiedog:

I live on cold brew in the summer. You take 1/3 cup coarse ground coffee to 1.5 cups of filtered water, put it in a vessel, and let it sit for 12-18 hours, and then strain. I make about a week's worth at a time. It stays good in the fridge that long and makes delicious cold coffee all summer long. It's less delicious when heated in the winter, at least to me, but still better than anything I've gotten out of a Keurig and some coffee shops. It's really cheap and is as fast as the Keurig to heat it up every morning plus about 5 minutes once a week. That's my preferred method for convenient coffee.


I've tried that before and not had much luck with it; found it to be a royal mess and used a ridiculous amount of beans for just a small amount of coffee. Although, to be fair, your recipe is much more dilute than the one I used; mine came from America's Test Kitchen, and they suggested a 1:1 ratio of grounds to water.
 
2012-11-13 11:31:40 AM  
I drink alcohol to get drunk and coffee to get the caffeine buzz. Flavor is for jackasses
 
2012-11-13 11:33:01 AM  

CokeBear: Here's my problem with all these fancy ways of making coffee:

Before I've had my coffee in the morning, its damn near impossible to do anything, nevermind grinding the beans, doing the french press thing.

Its a challenge just to turn on the Keurig, load a K-cup and push 1 button with no caffeine in my system. Also, by the time I'm finished my coffee its time to dash out the door, so cleanup wouldn't happen until I get home.

On the weekend I stumble into a local coffeehouse where they grind their own beans, and the taste is way better, but there is no way I could do that at home.

/Of course once I'm at work I have all the time in the world to post on Fark, as long as I'm at my desk ;-)


I have been using this Cuisanart for 10 years. Built in grinder, timer, just add water and beans, set the timer. Fresh coffee every morning when you are ready for it. Good warranty too, they replaced 2 makers in 10 years.
$80 on Amazon or a little more if you want the thermal carrafe. You can also make custom flavors by adding spices and oils to the beans. For the price of 16 lattes at Upchucks, you can own your own fresh bean grinder machine.

cdn4.beveragefactory.com
 
2012-11-13 11:35:36 AM  

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Iceboxxx: Wellon Dowd: I find those machines fascinating but have never had the chance to use one. Is the coffee any good? How about if you get one of the refillable cups and use your own beans? I don't fancy paying $25 per pound for coffee already in the cup, especially when the cup and its packaging will end up in a landfill.

I got one for my wife and the coffee was undrinkable to both of us. The taste lingered for a couple of hours and we just sipped it, and we were drinking the milder stuff. Returned it later that evening.

Sounds like you just had sh*tty k-cups. There's a freaking infinite number of varieties out there.


Yep, read the ingredients label on the k-cup, if it says Instant or Soluble its crap. There are some varieties are are packaged with real coffee, other varieties are packaged with instant coffee and chemicals.
 
2012-11-13 11:36:02 AM  

Jon iz teh kewl: 1. lay out line of anhydrous caffeine on table
2. snort


Hear, hear!
 
2012-11-13 11:36:55 AM  
Frankly, more often than not I'm just drinking coffee for the kick, and I couldn't care less for the taste, as long as its coffee-like. In such instances, this is all I need:
images.costco.com

Hey, it gets the job done and it's dirt cheap. YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME?!
 
2012-11-13 11:37:37 AM  
Coffee smugness will ensue.
 
2012-11-13 11:40:34 AM  

CokeBear: Weekday mornings are more about an efficient caffeine delivery system, not a good tasting cup of coffee.

Anyone tried caffeine-infused soap in the shower? Does that stuff actually work?


Cleans nice. Makes your skin feel funny in a good way. But nah, no buzz.
 
2012-11-13 11:44:39 AM  
www.redmonkeycoffee.co.uk
I don't bother with baristas, this is my coffee maker. Coffee is serious business in our household.
 
2012-11-13 11:44:53 AM  

Expolaris: notmtwain: The English Major: Wellon Dowd: How about if you get one of the refillable cups and use your own beans?

That's what I do with mine. We'll get some of the coffee packs too--they've got some unique flavors--and it brews a quick, efficient cup of coffee. I still have my Bunn coffeemaker for use on the weekends but during the week when I just want a cup, not a pot, I use the Keurig.

The Keurigs have the same problem mentioned in the article. Making the coffee concentrate months or years before loses all the best parts of the aroma.

// Take 30 seconds to grind your own beans and don't forget to wash the damned pot. It's not hard.

They make refillable Kurig cup filters now that you can put your own coffee in. After i started grinding my own in to this my old K-cups tasted rather bland - granted they get me by at work but when i can i like to take the time to do that at home.

Inexpensive easy solution - and from Amazon!


Exactly what I do. I can buy small batches of beans and try until i find one I like.
 
2012-11-13 11:46:12 AM  
I've got a Tassimo, and it's the best thing I've ever owned. I've never tried a Keurig, but from what I understand, the Keurig k-cups have a wider variety available than the Tassimo T-discs, but the T-disc system is "smarter", and controls more variables in the brewing system, so it can make a drinkable espresso/cappucino/tea/hot chocolate/etc.

The Keurig has a "grind your own" K-cup option, but if I'm in the mood to grind my own, I can slap together the french press and make coffee the "real" way. I wanted a machine for that "morning suck, need coffee, just want push button" kind of thing. And while the Tassimo is a bit more limited in available options, they're adding new ones; they just signed on Tim Hortons and will be (are?) selling T-discs of Timmy's coffee.
 
2012-11-13 11:47:07 AM  
For when I don't have time to use my Aeropress, I like this:

i.walmartimages.com
 
2012-11-13 11:48:56 AM  
Speaking of coffee, have any of you Farkers had the opportunity to try Black Blood of the Earth?
 
2012-11-13 11:50:59 AM  

Fark Reddit or bust: I just tell the pissed of hipster barista at Starbucks to make mine.



1 - Walk into Starbucks
2 - Request drink from disgruntled and failed liberal arts major
3 - Pay
4 - Enjoy the drink

/Okay - in my Starbucks they're actually all very nice folks. Not disgruntled, nor failed LA majors. However, going with an amusing stereotype is always fun
//Plus, liberal arts majors need to be mocked.
 
2012-11-13 11:53:50 AM  

jurisenpai: Nothing will beat an Aeropress. It's the French Press 2.0 and makes the best damned coffee I've ever had at home. I encouraged my husband to get one and he is in love with the low-acidity of it.


www.frcndigital.com

Yup. They're durable as hell, too. Got mine about a year after they came out in 2006, and I've still got it, working the same as it did then. You'd even be surprised at how long the filters will last, when you just rinse it off after each use and let it dry in the machine (takes less oils out of the next cup, too, though it's not as if it takes that much out in the first place)

I use mine at work occasionally (small, independent coffee house) and it beats all other methods (pour over and toddy) except for espresso on brew time, and blows them all away on taste too (especially when you have an idiot behind the espresso machine who makes bitter, flavorless lungo shots all day long)...

Want to have the best iced coffee you've ever tasted in your entire, soon to be meaningful life? All you've got to do is make up some fresh ice, fill up a glass (I usually use a 1 pint tumbler or similar) and brew as normal directly onto the ice. Aeropress comes out about double coffee strength, so the melting ice dilutes it into iced coffee that tastes like hot coffee, instead of the swill that's been in the refrigerator cooling for at least 8 hours losing its flavors and gaining some from the fridge.

The best part is that it gives you all the control of a one-cup pour over (and more actually, since brew time is dictated by you pressing down, rather than the coffee coarseness), so you can pick out a brew temperature and time for your roast, taste it, and adjust minutely for your next cup...

Man, I've gotta get that first cup of coffee in me already...
 
2012-11-13 11:53:57 AM  

Jon iz teh kewl: 1. lay out line of anhydrous caffeine on table
2. snort


Is anhydrous grade really necessary? The ReagentPlus grade has the same water content (
 
2012-11-13 11:54:53 AM  

Donnchadha: Jon iz teh kewl: 1. lay out line of anhydrous caffeine on table
2. snort

Is anhydrous grade really necessary? The ReagentPlus grade has the same water content (<0.5%) and it's cheaper ($181.50/kg vs $240.50/kg)


Ugh, HTM-Fail...
 
2012-11-13 11:56:27 AM  

ronaprhys: Fark Reddit or bust: I just tell the pissed of hipster barista at Starbucks to make mine.


1 - Walk into Starbucks
2 - Request drink from disgruntled and failed liberal arts major
3 - Pay
4 - Enjoy the drink

/Okay - in my Starbucks they're actually all very nice folks. Not disgruntled, nor failed LA majors. However, going with an amusing stereotype is always fun
//Plus, liberal arts majors need to be mocked.


Actually, they are fairly successful for liberal arts majors. Starbucks has reasonable benefits
 
2012-11-13 11:58:49 AM  

Donnchadha: Donnchadha: Jon iz teh kewl: 1. lay out line of anhydrous caffeine on table
2. snort

Is anhydrous grade really necessary? The ReagentPlus grade has the same water content (<0.5%) and it's cheaper ($181.50/kg vs $240.50/kg)

Ugh, HTM-Fail...


$78.95 on Amazon.com
 
2012-11-13 11:59:27 AM  
Every place I've worked in the past, like, 12 years, has had some sort of Keurig of Flavia coffee machine. In my view, they are just great. Especially when they are free. When I worked for M&M Mars a few years ago, they charged a quarter per cup. I always kept quarters on hand. Then they just made it free one day. There was much rejoicing.

Anyway... The thing is, there are so many different flavors to choose from, including a wide variety of teas. So, I really don't think it's necessary to learn the tricks of the trade for making the best cup of coffee in the world.
 
2012-11-13 12:00:36 PM  
Reading this thread makes me question drinking coffee at all. It's like a brown pissing contest.
 
2012-11-13 12:00:59 PM  
I was looking for pictures of old coffee vending machines to warn everyone to stay away from coffee at highway rest stop vending machines, when I saw this:
frybros.com
Seriously, WTF.
 
2012-11-13 12:01:09 PM  

king_nacho: Actually, they are fairly successful for liberal arts majors. Starbucks has reasonable benefits


Well, yes. But they're not living off their art, which is what they wanted to do. That's why they're disgruntled and failed.
 
2012-11-13 12:01:42 PM  
I received a Keirug as a gift. It's ok. The k cups are ridiculously expensive though. $10-15 for a dozen? The best price I've found is 80 for $40 at Costco. I have the reusable, grind your own cup, but that's like making a tiny pot of coffee every time.
 
2012-11-13 12:03:27 PM  
Meh, not impressed

farm9.staticflickr.com
 
2012-11-13 12:07:05 PM  

louiedog: Madbassist1: Ironclad2: You sound like a Bud Light drinker.

YOu sound like a pretentious douchebag.

In his defense that is the goal of the big beer companies. They pay people good money to ensure consistency. If a batch tastes better than usual they don't let it go out like that. They want the customer to have the same taste in every bottle year after year.

"Not sure if it's "good" or "not good" but it is definitely consistent: same cupbeer every time." That might as well be their motto.


you're right I was being a dickhead needlessly.

/remorse
 
2012-11-13 12:09:28 PM  
If it ain't Wilkins, it ain't worth a damn!
 
2012-11-13 12:11:33 PM  

Marlys: I received a Keirug as a gift. It's ok. The k cups are ridiculously expensive though. $10-15 for a dozen? The best price I've found is 80 for $40 at Costco. I have the reusable, grind your own cup, but that's like making a tiny pot of coffee every time.


I order them from Green Mountain. 24 for $12-13 bucks. I need a cup of coffee before I can make a cup of coffee.
 
2012-11-13 12:12:45 PM  
I love coffee. I have over 15 types of coffee machines including the Aeropress, Moka pot, French Press, Drip machine, Vacuum pot, Keurig, Cheap starbucks espresso machine, Mypressi portable espresso, and a Rancho Silvia.

Out of them my favorite is the Sunbeam Vacuum pot. Fill water in the bottom, fill grounds in the top, and turn it on. It automatically sets to "keep warm" when done brewing. It's not fun to watch like the glass Vac Pots, but it also doesn't explode.

/ mmm coffee
 
2012-11-13 12:13:30 PM  
I am the very definition of "not a morning person", so at 6 AM whatever sludge gets handed to me through the drive up window is the very best coffee in the world at that particular moment in time.

When the sun comes up, I do tend to get a little pickier.
 
2012-11-13 12:13:32 PM  

haruspex: Reading this thread makes me question drinking coffee at all. It's like a brown pissing contest.


it is almost as bad as the beer arguments.
 
2012-11-13 12:18:13 PM  

Trocadero: I was looking for pictures of old coffee vending machines to warn everyone to stay away from coffee at highway rest stop vending machines, when I saw this:
[frybros.com image 580x390]
Seriously, WTF.


I have seen something like that before at Petsmart. Put your dog/cat in and it is an enclosed shower for pets.
 
2012-11-13 12:19:37 PM  
What a K-cup may look like...

www.surreycomet.co.uk
 
2012-11-13 12:21:13 PM  

Qwertyette: I love coffee. I have over 15 types of coffee machines including the Aeropress, Moka pot, French Press, Drip machine, Vacuum pot, Keurig, Cheap starbucks espresso machine, Mypressi portable espresso, and a Rancho Silvia.

Out of them my favorite is the Sunbeam Vacuum pot. Fill water in the bottom, fill grounds in the top, and turn it on. It automatically sets to "keep warm" when done brewing. It's not fun to watch like the glass Vac Pots, but it also doesn't explode.

/ mmm coffee


I just added a chemex to my coffee maker collection and made the mistaje of purchasing the unbleached filters for it. The taste is very clean with a brown paper towel aftertaste. I ended up bumming a few of the bleached ones from a barista from a local coffee shop and foubd it's the best coffee for early in the morning when I would rather not have a ruch french press cup
 
2012-11-13 12:22:52 PM  
Keuring is meh. I get a great pot of coffee by grinding the beans the night before, and putting them into a cheapo drip pot with a timer. I have had better coffee than I make everyday, but I'm very satisfied. I haven't tried all the K-cups, but I've tried a few varieties. None are better than my coffee. Some of you probably make a better cup of coffee than I do, but my coffee is waiting when I get up. Perfect balance of simple and good, IMO.
 
2012-11-13 12:26:37 PM  
Every time I read stories such as this I am envious.

Regardless of what you think of her profession, she is obviously doing something she loves and I wouldn't be surprise she is pulling in 6 figures or more!

Can I make 6 figures playing with legos?
 
2012-11-13 12:27:53 PM  

WillyChase: Qwertyette: I love coffee. I have over 15 types of coffee machines including the Aeropress, Moka pot, French Press, Drip machine, Vacuum pot, Keurig, Cheap starbucks espresso machine, Mypressi portable espresso, and a Rancho Silvia.

Out of them my favorite is the Sunbeam Vacuum pot. Fill water in the bottom, fill grounds in the top, and turn it on. It automatically sets to "keep warm" when done brewing. It's not fun to watch like the glass Vac Pots, but it also doesn't explode.

/ mmm coffee

I just added a chemex to my coffee maker collection and made the mistaje of purchasing the unbleached filters for it. The taste is very clean with a brown paper towel aftertaste. I ended up bumming a few of the bleached ones from a barista from a local coffee shop and foubd it's the best coffee for early in the morning when I would rather not have a ruch french press cup


Oy, I clearly need more coffee. Maybe some proof reading too.
 
2012-11-13 12:31:43 PM  
I've been enjoying the Clever Coffee Dripper.

You put the coffee and hot water in a filter in the dripper and wait four minutes or so. Then place it on top of a cup to release the stopper and let the coffee pour out. Cleanup's just throwing away the filter and rinsing the dripper out.
 
2012-11-13 12:40:18 PM  
1) Open trash can
2) Insert coffee
Perfect!

Maybe I'm just weird or something, but I can't stand the taste of coffee. Even other foods containing or derived from coffee taste particularly foul, with the one exception of Kahlua (although it still has to be extremely diluted in a full glass of milk).

On the other hand, you'll have to pry my "te, canela, y clavo" from my cold dead kung-fu grip.
 
2012-11-13 12:42:16 PM  
My wife bought me some Twinings chai k cups. The tea tastes like plastic. I'll be sticking with this for tea:

g-images.amazon.com 

I've had mine for a little over 4 years now and run three infusions through it almost every day. Broke one pot through carelessness, and recently something came loose and is rattling around the bottom of the infusion chamber, but it keeps making tea faithfully.
 
2012-11-13 12:50:13 PM  

Wellon Dowd: I find those machines fascinating but have never had the chance to use one. Is the coffee any good? How about if you get one of the refillable cups and use your own beans? I don't fancy paying $25 per pound for coffee already in the cup, especially when the cup and its packaging will end up in a landfill.


I have one and I like it. I use "medium roast" coffee--anything "light roast" tastes watery to me, and "dark roast" tastes burnt.

I only drink 1 - 2 cups of coffee a day, so having a machine like this is very handy. Most drip coffeemakers are really not designed to handle that--you have to make at least half a pot.

The funny thing is that the first time I encountered a Keurig brewer (about 10 years ago, at work), I thought the coffee was awful watery crap. A couple of years ago I got a job at another place that had one, and the coffee was much better. Good enough that I eventually got one for my home.

I didn't compare the cost with what it would cost me to brew drip coffee at home--I compared it to what it would cost me to buy coffee at a convenience store or Starbucks. I get a 16-pack of K-cups at Wal-Mart for $10.98; that's about $0.69 each. That's a little cheaper than 7-11 coffee, and WAY cheaper than Starbucks.
 
2012-11-13 12:50:19 PM  
I use a Zero Water filter so you can add 5 steps (of filtration) to my process.

I have that k-cup organizer drawer/base they sell at Sams for $10. I ran across a man wondering if it would be possible to stack three of them because his wife had a load of different flavors in boxes occupying a cabinet. I pointed out that his wife liked the idea of coffee but didn't actually like the coffee and was trying to find something she could get along with.
 
2012-11-13 12:55:46 PM  
Came for the K-cup boobies. Leaving disappointed.
 
2012-11-13 01:06:46 PM  

Marlys: I received a Keirug as a gift. It's ok. The k cups are ridiculously expensive though. $10-15 for a dozen? The best price I've found is 80 for $40 at Costco. I have the reusable, grind your own cup, but that's like making a tiny pot of coffee every time.


The Keurig system is piss-poorly engineered and sucks.

1. The Keurig requires more preventative maintenance than a hooker. If you don't use the Keurig daily, and perhaps if you do, there will be mildew accumulation after a few months. Instead of making the keurig long-lasting and durable, they made it "convenient". It's a direct result of the machine auto-loading and heating another load of water from the holding tank and into the heating system (the insides) of the device immediately upon it finishing brewing a first cup. If you only want to make one cup of coffee, and don't immediately turn off the machine after it's done brewing, that water will load from the holding tank into the innards and marinate in a dark, wet environment all day (or until your next cup of coffee). The holding tank will also start growing fun bacteria and exciting fungi after awhile if water is left in it. Who knew that if you leave water in a tank without a cleaning system shiat would start to grow?! Apparently Keurig didn't.

2. The Keurig is impossible to clean. It's got those plastic tubes inside that run water from the holding tank to the heating system and throughout the inside. Those farkers are impossible to clean. Once mildew hits your system, it's virtually impossible to remove. I know, I know. You'll read hundreds of methods online about how to "clean a Keurig". None of them work. I ran 5 gallons of white vinegar through that farker, multiple times, over the course of a week. There was still mildew coming out when running a no-kcup test.

3. None of the "make your own k-cup" systems work. None of the refillable cups work. None. Of. Them. Work. Perhaps it's because the companies designing them are idiots and don't try them out, or perhaps it's because they're geniuses and produce a cheap product that a ton of people will buy. The k-cup works by managing the rate of flow of hot water through the k-cup. There are pinhole punctures in the cup, both top and bottom, of a particular precise size that move the water very slowly through the cup allowing it to "brew" for an optimal amount of time. None of the refillable mykcup systems manage the rate of flow through the custom grounds and, therefore, all make extremely weak cups of coffees. They are also a pain in the ass to clean. You can jury-rig a couple of the systems by inserting your own already-used and top-cut-off k-cup to manage the rate of flow of hot water, but then the system doesn't really fit and caps start to break off the my k-cup system. It ends poorly.

4. The size of your cup of coffee will decrease over time. Gradually, and over time, the Keurig machine will produce a cup of coffee much smaller than it was originally designed for. Sometime between 6-8 months I noticed that my medium cup of coffee had become a small. The large becomes a medium. Instead of just pressing large, you start having to run through a small twice. I couldn't figure out why it did this either, because running vinegar through didn't affect the size. Perhaps the pump that pumped the water from the holding tank into the heating system started to run less efficiently, who knows.

5. It thinks it's smarter than me. In an attempt to reduce the likelihood of mold and mildew, I started reducing all extra water in the system. I wouldn't hold water in the holding tank, I'd turn off the system immediately after brewing a cup. So to make a cup of coffee, I'd fill my mug with water, pour the water from my mug into the holding tank, and press the On button to await it to be heated-an-ready. Error: Not enough water in tank. No, I'm sure there is, I just measured it with my mug. Nope, error. You HAVE to fill the tank with "enough" water. The "enough" water amount is much than a normal coffee mug, presumably for if you were to utilize their non-existent super-size button. Guess what this means? This means after you finish brewing your single cup, there will be water left in the Keurig. There has to be, you just put in 2 cups worth of water, and only got 1 cup out. Also, there's no "discharge all water currently in the system" button. In order to get the water from the heating system out, you have to make a cup of coffee.

6. The LCD stops working after a few months.

7. You have a limited selection of coffee.

8. You can't customize the strength of your brew by managing brew time or grounds-to-water ratio.
 
2012-11-13 01:07:46 PM  
I dunno, I just could never enjoy coffee. I prefer tea, or for serious caffeine, Diet Ski.
 
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