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(White House)   Petition to deport everyone that signed a petition to withdraw their state from The United States of America   (petitions.whitehouse.gov) divider line 124
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15250 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Nov 2012 at 9:36 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
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Archived thread
2012-11-13 03:01:53 AM
19 votes:
1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.
2012-11-13 03:10:57 AM
18 votes:
An off shore barge.

Not punishing them. Rewarding them. They aren't happy here.
2012-11-13 09:56:58 AM
14 votes:
Dear Red States:

We're ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we've decided we're leaving.

We in New York intend to form our own country and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Colorado, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the Northeast.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A).

To sum up briefly:
You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.

You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

We're taking the good weed too. You can have that crap they grow in Mexico.

Sincerely,

Citizens of the Enlightened States of America
2012-11-13 09:58:20 AM
6 votes:
FOX "News" has done more damage to this Nation and its fading Democracy than any Terrorist could ever dream of.



9/11 killed 3000 americans and knocked down a couple of skyscrapers. FOX News is dismantling our Democracy and our way of life using corporate/wealthy owned propaganda. they have no interest in facts, or truth, or the actual news.

well done, comrades. i'm impressed.
2012-11-13 10:04:49 AM
5 votes:

Bathia_Mapes: 2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


Yes, but according to Scalia, it isn't punishment if there is no "punitive intent." Clearly, the intent in deporting America's enemies isn't to punish them. It is to do them the favor of removing them from the situation that makes them so unhappy. In much the same way capitalists routinely do their vocally unhappy employees the "favor" of firing them in order to "help them find a line of work that makes them happy." Therefore, there is a purely beneficent intent here, and deportation here is constitutionally permissible.
2012-11-13 09:47:11 AM
5 votes:

Slaxl: All you need to do is designate one state "Republicanland", promise them their independence once all proponents of a Republican Jesus state have moved there. That way it's not in anyway a violation of free speech. It's people getting what they want. Just choose a state you can all be rid of happily, preferably one that is already majority Republican, to avoid the impact on Democrats who will have to move out.


I'm really REALLY starting to think this is a solution. Give them Texas - put Romney in charge, build a wall, and broadcast a live feed to the US from cameras on the top.

As they completely portray the "Bob the Angry Flower" cartoon depicting the aftermath of Atlas Shrugged, we can both laugh at their stupidity and educate everyone else as to why a functioning society has to actually function on more than "screw you I've got mine".
2012-11-13 09:27:43 AM
5 votes:
A perfect troll move by Obama would be to introduce a bill that explicitly makes secession attempts paramount to an act of sedition or treason. Let the Teabaggers go on record with a vote on that one...
2012-11-13 05:46:38 AM
5 votes:

Slaxl: All you need to do is designate one state "Republicanland", promise them their independence once all proponents of a Republican Jesus state have moved there. That way it's not in anyway a violation of free speech. It's people getting what they want. Just choose a state you can all be rid of happily, preferably one that is already majority Republican, to avoid the impact on Democrats who will have to move out.


Arizona would work well. We could finance moving everyone out who wants out since we'd ultimately be saving tons of money. Also we could admit Puerto Rico to return to 50 states.
2012-11-13 04:11:29 AM
5 votes:
All you need to do is designate one state "Republicanland", promise them their independence once all proponents of a Republican Jesus state have moved there. That way it's not in anyway a violation of free speech. It's people getting what they want. Just choose a state you can all be rid of happily, preferably one that is already majority Republican, to avoid the impact on Democrats who will have to move out.
2012-11-13 10:18:56 AM
4 votes:

Biness: Baz744: Millennium: phrawgh: The very definition of traitor.

They have not made war upon the US, nor aided its enemies. Thus, what they've done doesn't fit the Constitutional definition of a traitor. It's very clear about that.

The prospect of an American civil war aids America's enemies, and gives them comfort by boosting their morale.

Well thats a reach if i've ever seen one.

And whilst we're near the subject, the conflict of 1861-1865 was not a civil war. A civil war, by definition, is two or more factions fighting for control of one government or one nation. The American "civil war" was not that. It was a war for independence. The south did not seek to control the country, just their territory.


1) It doesn't matter, because I don't want to punish America's conservative enemies for treason. I just want to help them find a nationality arrangement better suited to their happiness.

2) Civil war: "a war between citizens of the same country."

Link

3) Not only is your definition of "civil war" wrong, but so is your factual predicate. The American south is American territory by convention, constitution, and sovereignty. The Confederacy was fighting for control of our country. Not theirs. So even under your pedantically restricted definition of civil war, you're wrong.
2012-11-13 09:35:58 AM
4 votes:

Slaxl: I did not know signing an online petition was an armed and violent uprising.


The more you know
2012-11-13 09:01:11 AM
4 votes:
OK, how about everyone who signed a petition to withdraw their state from the USA gets a free copy of the Texas v. White (1869) decision with the words "Suck it, biatches!" written on it by Obama.
2012-11-13 03:27:19 AM
4 votes:

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


1) Texas. Deport them all to Texas. But not Austin.

2) Fine, Capt. Buzzkill. Be all literal and logical.

Harumph.
2012-11-13 10:09:42 AM
3 votes:
Republicans live rural. Democrats live urban. Since you can't separate the cities and the farms into their own countries, we're going to have to keep working together whether we like it or not.
2012-11-13 10:02:16 AM
3 votes:

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


So? If those states succeed from the union, who is going to help fund my Section 8 housing, and food stamps? There won't be enough tax payers in the states that are left to help fund all this.

I see nothing wrong with getting rid of a few toothless knuckleheads in order for me to have the right of free housing and food.
2012-11-13 09:56:11 AM
3 votes:
Just kick texas out, then deport all the fascists and christianists there in trail of tears style forced marches.
2012-11-13 09:51:46 AM
3 votes:

Bontesla: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

At what point does advocating for separation become treason?


Historically? When you seize a federal fort.
2012-11-13 09:45:17 AM
3 votes:
No, don't deport them. Force them to stay in this country they hate so much because of Presidebt Fartbongo and his socialist communism. Make them suffer through every day of his four-year term until he peacefully steps down in 2017 and a new democratically-elected leader is sworn in to replace him. And tell them over and over again that they are wrong.
2012-11-13 09:38:24 AM
3 votes:
When the Founding Fathers created the right to petition the government, I don't think they envisioned internet trolls.
2012-11-13 09:28:40 AM
3 votes:

sammyk: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

I did not know insurrection was protected speech under the 1st amendment.


I did not know signing an online petition was an armed and violent uprising.
2012-11-13 09:17:53 AM
3 votes:

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


I did not know insurrection was protected speech under the 1st amendment.
2012-11-13 06:28:39 AM
3 votes:

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


At what point does advocating for separation become treason?
2012-11-13 03:34:31 AM
3 votes:

alaric3: An off shore barge.

Not punishing them. Rewarding them. They aren't happy here.


I like your positive spin and can-do attitude.
2012-11-13 12:52:56 PM
2 votes:
I think there should be some legal inquiry asking point blank:

Does a petition to secede from the Union constitute sedition? This should be a yes or no, even if qualifiers need to be established.

If that were the case, every person signing the petition should be informed that they have committed an act of sedition, explain fully what sedition means, and then offer them amnesty if they wish to renounce their claim to secession as they weren't fully informed of the consequence.

Also, if such a petition is deemed as sedition, the petition makers should be charged with it.

Perhaps, it won't be until the petition is actually delivered to the right authority that such a judgement is made.
2012-11-13 10:50:49 AM
2 votes:
2012-11-13 10:47:14 AM
2 votes:

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


The Alien and Sedition Acts specifically describe speech that can be prosecutable. The First Amendment is not a toupee that covers the bald head of treason.
2012-11-13 10:47:05 AM
2 votes:

Slaxl: sammyk: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

I did not know insurrection was protected speech under the 1st amendment.

I did not know signing an online petition was an armed and violent uprising.


It's not. It's more aptly called "sedition."
2012-11-13 10:26:22 AM
2 votes:
Punishment of people that signed a petition happened in Wisconsin. The Right even put up a web site so that you could look up the names of people that signed to recall their Scott Walker. Leave it to the teabaggers to actually violate people's rights. Now they want protection?
2012-11-13 10:26:06 AM
2 votes:
Help 'em leave, if they wanna leave so much. The fewer mouth-breathing shiatfarking right-wingers we have in this country, the better.
2012-11-13 10:20:38 AM
2 votes:
lolsignedforthelols

Anyone who signed the other petitions has no faith in or loyalty to the United States of America. We've weathered revolution, war, civil war, world war, pearl harbor, the great depression, the 60s, Nixon, Carter and 9/11. Any American thinking that we can't weather a little unliked policy for a term or two is a fat moron who needs to be deported to France and forced to grow a mustache and eat stinky cheeses with bad wine. So you didn't vote for the guy. Man up and accept that you're fair-weather American who only sticks with the USA when you like the President and his policies and everything goes your way, you whining, wide-eyed p*ssy.
2012-11-13 10:18:22 AM
2 votes:

Biness: the south wasn't trying to take over the country


There are some villages in southern Pennsylvania that might dicker with that assessment.
2012-11-13 10:17:19 AM
2 votes:
If you really want to get the conspiracy theorists to go full derp, create a petition to send all the people who signed a secession petition to be sent to a FEMA Camp. That would be too funny.
2012-11-13 10:10:25 AM
2 votes:

bacongood: Would this include any idiot who put up one those "Bush isn't my president" signs?

Everyone needs to grow up; we picked from two different flavors of vanilla.


He and his team said we weren't American if we didn't agree with him. He told us that he wasn't our president. I haven't seen Obama say anything like that.
2012-11-13 10:08:38 AM
2 votes:

Millennium: phrawgh: The very definition of traitor.

They have not made war upon the US, nor aided its enemies. Thus, what they've done doesn't fit the Constitutional definition of a traitor. It's very clear about that.


The prospect of an American civil war aids America's enemies, and gives them comfort by boosting their morale.
2012-11-13 10:08:22 AM
2 votes:
So when was it that Conservatives became the whiny biatches that the liberals used to be? Conservatives were once logical, rational and firm in their patriotism, even in defeat. Now some of you want to secede because you lost an election (or several)? How weak and cowardly.
2012-11-13 10:06:09 AM
2 votes:
What you need is a petition to give up your United States and become provinces of Canada. You'd have universal health care, a dollar that's worth something, access to all the oil you'd need, room to expand, you'd be able to travel anywhere in the world without being shot at, and access to Tim Hortons and all the hockey games you ever wanted to attend. The only draw back is you have to tolerate Quebec.
2012-11-13 10:02:11 AM
2 votes:
21 right wing wacko petitions and 1 sarcastic reactionary petition that will be cited as "proof" that "both sides do it".

That's about the right ratio.
2012-11-13 10:01:11 AM
2 votes:

Slaxl: All you need to do is designate one state "Republicanland", promise them their independence once all proponents of a Republican Jesus state have moved there. That way it's not in anyway a violation of free speech. It's people getting what they want. Just choose a state you can all be rid of happily, preferably one that is already majority Republican, to avoid the impact on Democrats who will have to move out.


They tried that before in 1860, didn't work out too well.
2012-11-13 09:55:05 AM
2 votes:

sodomizer: It's inevitable. The country is divided 50-50 for liberalism or conservatism.

I wonder on which side of that line most of us would like to live?




well, if you like sticking your tongue up corporate/wealthy ass and thing the richest 2% should be allowed to do as they please, including taking over your government, then go live with the CONservatives.

if you think Democracy is a good thing and that power must not be allowed to become too concentrated and that the citizens have the right to establish the goverment they choose and to be represented in that government, then go live with the liberals.

its a profoundly easy choice for me. i'm educated and i don't listen to FOX "news" corporate owned propaganda.
2012-11-13 09:53:24 AM
2 votes:

thunderbird8804: [www.brycecook.com image 756x924] 

Deport em', I barely...yeah okay, I did destroy their ports, what of it?


Actually he didn't. Sherman needed those ports to keep in touch with the North, so he didn't destroy the ones he occupied.

I still say move all the secessionists to a Hawaiian Island and let them live there for a while, preferably one with little to no infrastructure.
2012-11-13 09:53:09 AM
2 votes:
You know... it's just a strange damned thing and speaks to a much bigger issue.

I really didn't like bush, I even hung a flag upside down out of my dorm, because I was an overzealous college idiot with little understanding of things.

But even then, my thing was "we are in trouble, and need help." not "eff this i'm out"

as bad as i have ever thought it was, i never wanted out.
2012-11-13 09:52:38 AM
2 votes:

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


3) Points 1 and 2 are meaningless given that this petition is clearly in the spirit of snark.
2012-11-13 09:50:33 AM
2 votes:

Satanic_Hamster: Dammit, I meant to create a petition to punch Grover Norquist in the dick last night.


But as head of the NRA, I'm sure Mr. Norquist could properly defend himself against any attempt to attac-

I can't even finish it. He probably has as much experience around firearms as Sarah Palin did before that hunting show (or whatever it was).
2012-11-13 09:46:39 AM
2 votes:
Sedition, treason, whatever. Let them learn a valuable lesson. Rich, old white guys can get away with outing a CIA covert agent. The great unwashed can't get away with signing a petition.

Where's your Grand Old Party now? Hint: They're at a country club that you can't caddy at, let alone join. In other words, you have no chance at becoming a Cinderella story at Augusta. Which is nice.

/You didn't honestly think the GOP worked for you, did you? You work for the rich guys. They don't give a shiat about you individually. In this country, useful idiots abound.
2012-11-13 09:46:33 AM
2 votes:
Finally! A petition I can get behind. The US needs to buy some land in the Maldives, since they are sinking, I heard you can buy them pretty cheap, and move all those basturds there.

PROBLEM SOLVED.
2012-11-13 09:45:12 AM
2 votes:
Dammit, I meant to create a petition to punch Grover Norquist in the dick last night.
2012-11-13 09:44:18 AM
2 votes:

Bontesla: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

At what point does advocating for separation become treason?


Not in a legal sense, but personal opinion wise, I'd want you to be reasonably charged with incitement to violence or espionage before upgrading it to treason.

Charging people with treason for JUST mouthing off against the state, no matter how vehemently or seriously, is one of the hallmarks of what makes a government "bad" in my view. Peacefully advocating a separatist movement is something that's either easily ignored at the ballot box, or it's something that has merit and needs to be addressed with policy one way or the other.
2012-11-13 09:42:33 AM
2 votes:

Krymson Tyde: Arizona would work well. We could finance moving everyone out who wants out since we'd ultimately be saving tons of money. Also we could admit Puerto Rico to return to 50 states.


Why not Alaska? It's not even connected to continental US.
2012-11-13 09:39:48 AM
2 votes:

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?


Guantanamo.

Bathia_Mapes: 2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


Incorrect. They were advocating an unconstitutional separation of the union.
2012-11-13 08:46:09 AM
2 votes:
I think we should give them the radioactive bits of Nevada.

Maybe they'll mutate into something intelligent.
2012-11-13 08:36:31 AM
2 votes:
Well, that was one of the stupidest things I've ever seen...
2012-11-13 08:16:13 AM
2 votes:
Begun, the petition wars have.
2012-11-13 03:52:12 AM
2 votes:

propasaurus: 1) Texas. Deport them all to Texas. But not Austin.


We can move the capital back to Gonzalez, or Houston, dig up Austin, turn it upside down, replant.
2012-11-13 03:45:18 AM
2 votes:
I kinda wish they could get stuck somewhere, including the people who signed from other states as a "GOOD RIDDANCE" gesture. Like a scared straight FEMA reeducation camp for the afternoon or something, but yeah, those don't exist, yet. Term II.
2012-11-13 03:15:49 AM
2 votes:

Bathia_Mapes:
2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


Indeedy this
2012-11-13 01:36:49 PM
1 votes:

This text is now purple: JohnnyApocalypse: I think there should be some legal inquiry asking point blank:

Does a petition to secede from the Union constitute sedition? This should be a yes or no, even if qualifiers need to be established.

No. You have the right to petition your government for grievances.


Secession is not a petition for grievances. The courts provide that avenue.

This is secession, pure and simple.
2012-11-13 01:35:50 PM
1 votes:
My follow Americans, these are hard times for those who run away from problems. A minority called Secessionist make demands upon the majority. They say "they want to run away from their problems". They say America is weaker cause of it's current leadership. They say the electoral system is broken because it doesn't support their agenda. They say their sh*t doesn't stink. Well it does.

America is about making mistakes and fixing them. America is about drinking cheap liquor and driving pickups. America is about making sh*t and buying sh*t. America is a "can do" society.

I say to the Secessionist, "I do you harm when I call you unamerican". If you want to make America better than find a better candidate. You want better laws? Fark that! Enforce the laws we already have. You want freebees and federal swag then by all means write federal grants.

All I ask of my Secessionist friends is stop being bat-arse crazy and learn to tolerate our differences. Cause one day your sh*t is going to break down. One of "us" Americans is going to fix it.
2012-11-13 01:15:06 PM
1 votes:

CeroX: 99.998er: Dear Red States:

We're ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we've decided we're leaving.

We in New York intend to form our own country and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Colorado, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the Northeast.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A).

To sum up briefly:
You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.

You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University ...


Also, Louisville, KY should be considered part of the blue states. It goes blue every election, and the rest of Kentucky doesn't really claim us anyways. But we will not be part of Indiana. dirty hoosiers.
kgf
2012-11-13 12:56:08 PM
1 votes:
I'd rather see a petition to sell Texas to Mexico. Man, that would take care of a lot of problems.
2012-11-13 12:42:43 PM
1 votes:
Dear every farking idiot who can't spell,
It's spelled SECEDE.
There is no farking U.
And while I'm at it, LOOSE and LOSE are two different words.
kill yourself.
2012-11-13 12:32:02 PM
1 votes:
The Freepers seem to be on it already

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2958990/posts#comment
2012-11-13 11:58:52 AM
1 votes:

This text is now purple: heavymetal: Those on the left side of the ideological divide have a good choice of places to choose from with decent to good healthcare, solid infrastructure, and national stability like Canada or Sweden.

So long as you're rich and white.

The core of the Democratic party? Not so much.


Yeah, Toronto is pretty damn white:

Toronto is one of the world's most diverse cities by percentage of non-native-born residents, with about 49% of the population born outside Canada.

In 2006, people of European ethnicities formed the largest cluster of ethnic groups in Toronto, 52.6%,[67] mostly of British, Irish, Italian, and French origins. The five largest visible minority groups in Toronto are South Asian (12.0%), Chinese (11.4%), Black (8.4%), Filipino (4.1%) and Latin American (2.6%).[67] Aboriginal peoples, who are not considered visible minorities, formed 0.5% of the population.[67] This diversity is reflected in Toronto's ethnic neighbourhoods, which include Chinatown, Corso Italia, Greektown, Kensington Market, Koreatown, Little India, Little Italy, Little Jamaica, Little Portugal and Roncesvalles.
2012-11-13 11:56:28 AM
1 votes:
No litmus test for Americanism. No litmus test for citizenship in any truly free country--not race, nationality, sex, age, religion, sexual orientation, class, income, education, language or place of origin.

No litmus test for entitlements either.

Your fat white Tea Bagger ass is no more deserving of Medicare than any other. So when you waddle out with your Patriot cosplay and your lawn chairs to demand the Gubbermint keep its hands of your social security or your Medicare, remember to smile, Pilgrim, and say OUR social security and OUR Medicare even though your relatively well-off white middle class conservatives are the biggest pigs with their heads in the trough.

Remember Grandpa, that there are plenty of people who want it, there are plenty of people who need it, and if anybody stands up to be counted in front of the trough, it should be those who need it most, not the Me Toos! who can't be arsed to pay for what they demand and get, let alone to provide for those who are in genuine need, namely the young, the wed and unwed young couples, the children, the rural and urban poor, the marginalized, and the just plain poor hardworking families who work their asses off at umpteen day and night jobs and still can't make ends meet!

Go yell at clouds!

Your fat white Christian ass is no more entitled to create an establishment of religion via the US Government or State governments or any government than any other fat-assed believer, be he or she a Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist or Animist.

Your fat white male ass still hasn't gotten around to equal pay for equal work after fifty or sixty years.

Your fat conservative ass is unreconstructed and unredeemed. You're too busy looking out for number one to be a real Christian or a real patriot or even a real Neighbor.
2012-11-13 11:43:30 AM
1 votes:
cwcrossroads.files.wordpress.com
2012-11-13 11:43:29 AM
1 votes:

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


What the Hell do you have all those overseas territories for? Guam, Guantanamo, Puerto Rico, Hawaii? Personally I would choose Alaska but it is not a proper isle, it is a peninsula of Canada. Let them experience global warming first hand since they're so big on denial. The Florida Keys are also a possibility. Lots of global warming and sea level rise to observe first hand there.

Just as long as it is a long swim back to Civilization I don't much care where they are exiled.

As for punishing them for signing a petition being a violation of their First Amendment rights, that never stopped them from violating the constitutional rights of everybody else with their Jim Crow voter suppression and such. I'm sure we could wing a treason charge for illegal succession. After all, the Supreme Court has already decided (1869) that Texas does NOT, contrary to urban legend, have the right to succede, and thus that the only way you can do this is winning a civil war or obtaining a Constitutional Amendment declaring the terms of a legal succession.

You have the right to rule of law. You do not have the right to pick and choose which laws you abide by. You have the right to vote. You do not have the right to ignore other people's votes.

To those who mutter about succession and the Second Revolution and civil disobedience if not civil uprising and war, I say this:

You lost fair and square despite all sorts of double dealing and crookiness on your part or your behalf. If the democratic majority decides on ostracism, ostracism is what you'll get.

Or have you conveniently misrembered the Japanese and German Internment camps? have you forgotten the Indian reservations even though they are still there? and just what did involuntary immigrants do to you that you would deny them the Universal Rights of Man and the rights of American citizenship, right down to the one who was just re-elected President despite widespread denial of his birth, citizenship, and right to be President?

Yep. Now is not the time to agitate for supposed rights that belong especially to you and not to everyone. The Majority is inexorably waking up. The suffrage has inexorably spread to every adult person who is not a felon (and to a lot of not quite adult people who are felons).

Stand against the tide of history and civilization if you must, but be prepared to step aside when politely asked, or else to do your standing behind a chickenwire fence. Chickenwire if you're lucky. The American people are patient, even of certain types of subversion by certain types of people, but they've proven to have limited patience with successionists in the past, and if you want to make it best two out of three, I can only hope they are ready for the re-match.
2012-11-13 11:34:52 AM
1 votes:

Krymson Tyde: Slaxl: All you need to do is designate one state "Republicanland", promise them their independence once all proponents of a Republican Jesus state have moved there. That way it's not in anyway a violation of free speech. It's people getting what they want. Just choose a state you can all be rid of happily, preferably one that is already majority Republican, to avoid the impact on Democrats who will have to move out.

Arizona would work well. We could finance moving everyone out who wants out since we'd ultimately be saving tons of money. Also we could admit Puerto Rico to return to 50 states.


Arizona is beginning a looooong slide to swing-state status, thanks to Hispanic demographics. Utah, on the other hand, shows no sign of changing in any meaningful way for probably another century. Especially if you leave out SLC.
2012-11-13 11:24:10 AM
1 votes:
Oh and Louisiana has made 25K. Two petitions that will get told STFU.
2012-11-13 11:23:02 AM
1 votes:

Rent Party: If we are trolling petitions, let's make them at least believable.

Rename portions of federal highways between Atlanta and Savannah the "William Tecumseh Sherman Memorial Highway"/a>


Holy crap, that would be hilarious. I still see stickers here in GA from right-wingers whining about the governor du jour not changing the flag.
2012-11-13 11:22:14 AM
1 votes:
Alabama, Florida and Tennessee are getting close to the 25K mark as well now.
2012-11-13 10:57:15 AM
1 votes:

Jon iz teh kewl: indarwinsshadow: Jon iz teh kewl: darwin

Thanks. But. You keep saying British. We're not British. Toronto is a like a cleaner version of Buffalo NY. Hell the border is like a big mish mash of our two countries now.

really a generic city is like another generic city. wow what with the big buildings, and grocery stores, etc..


It's more like Chicago, except with 50 murders a year instead of 500.You seriously cannot get murdered in Canada.
2012-11-13 10:56:34 AM
1 votes:

h0lmesdaddy: Can someone look up a legal rationale for charging these guys with something and make a real petition to look into formal criminal charges?


So, this is what it's come to? There are actually a substantial number of people who are calling for others to be jailed simply because they are making political statements. Right here in the United States of America. No one else sees a problem with this? I'm really the only one?

I may not agree with what you have to say, but I'll fight to the death for your right to say it. To protect the freedom of speech, you have to protect even the most abhorrent speech. I thought that was universally known in this country. (Maybe just not on Fark...who knows)

And we protect scumbags like the Westboro Baptist Church, but we want to throw these guys under the bus? Please tell me most of you are just flexing keyboard muscles, and don't really believe, in your heart, that we should lock people up (or put them in work camps, or re-education camps, as has been suggested) because they have crazy political views.

Because if you really believe that, then you are going out of your way to prove these nutjobs right. A free country does NOT have re-education camps for dissenters, or imprison people for their political views. That is something else entirely.
2012-11-13 10:52:32 AM
1 votes:

Baz744: Sure. But people who report bad news or poorly aim a missile don't have any actual intent to harm the country. By contrast, secession petition signers have demonstrated an unambiguous intent to tear the country apart.



In 1947, in Haupt v. United States, the Supreme Court upheld his conviction for treason by stating that that his intent was immaterial. His actions in support of his spy son were what counted, and they were considered "Aid and Comfort".

"No matter whether young Haupt's mission was benign or traitorous, known or unknown to the defendant, these acts were aid and comfort to him."
2012-11-13 10:47:14 AM
1 votes:

Bendal: This text is now purple: Biness: the south wasn't trying to take over the country

There are some villages in southern Pennsylvania that might dicker with that assessment.

Don't forget Kentucky and Maryland, too. Neither state seceded but both were invaded by Confederate armies.


Kentucky, yes, but be careful with using Maryland as an example of pretty much anything about the Civil War: the whole situation with that state was a gigantic clusterfark possibly rivaling that of West Virginia.
2012-11-13 10:42:35 AM
1 votes:
Just have them self deport to Mexico
2012-11-13 10:41:11 AM
1 votes:

Bendal: Hawaii


How about the Bikini Atoll?

Notice how those on the political left threaten to leave the country while those on the political right always threaten to secede? I think I know why. Those on the left side of the ideological divide have a good choice of places to choose from with decent to good healthcare, solid infrastructure, and national stability like Canada or Sweden. On the right side of the ideological divide on the other hand; the places which actually practice their core ideologies are pretty much shiatholes, and unless you are filthy rich you are pretty much farked if living there.
2012-11-13 10:32:06 AM
1 votes:

Baz744: The prospect of an American civil war aids America's enemies, and gives them comfort by boosting their morale.


"Emboldening our enemies" != treason. If it was, simply reporting bad news, like say a rise in the unemployment rate, Petreus' affair, or the impact of a mis-aimed drone missle, could be considered treason.

The treason bar is much, much higher than that.
2012-11-13 10:28:16 AM
1 votes:

indarwinsshadow: Jon iz teh kewl: indarwinsshadow: What you need is a petition to give up your United States and become provinces of Canada. You'd have universal health care, a dollar that's worth something, access to all the oil you'd need, room to expand, you'd be able to travel anywhere in the world without being shot at, and access to Tim Hortons and all the hockey games you ever wanted to attend. The only draw back is you have to tolerate Quebec.

you're Britain. Didn't we fight a war to separate from you guys??

We're Britain? We are? I wasn't aware we're Britain. I know were a commonwealth country like Australia and NZ, but we're not Britain. Hey, we even have our own money and guess what? It's worth more than yours *GASP*. And you didn't fight a war to separate from us. The United Empire Loyalists packed up their sh*t and headed north to British held NA. Actually, my ancestors owned a big chunk of Pittsburgh but somehow I don't think I'm about to see a residual check anytime soon. Gimme my money you dead beats.
Think of it this way, you dump the United States moniker, become provinces and we scare the living sh*t out of the rest of the world by becoming the largest double double country on the planet. Magine how pissed off Putin will be when he wakes up and reads the news.


dude i like your style. legalized marijuana. marmite at publix. let it happen! BRITISH STYLE! *drinks a cup of earl gray*
2012-11-13 10:27:42 AM
1 votes:
You people who are objecting to this because it's not legally possible are adorable.
2012-11-13 10:25:52 AM
1 votes:
Hey now! I signed the petition so we could get rid of them, not because I want to be part of them!
2012-11-13 10:25:47 AM
1 votes:

the_geek: They may enjoy being part of the Free State Project.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_State_Project


Ah. "Free States" have such a proud history!

upload.wikimedia.org
2012-11-13 10:25:08 AM
1 votes:

Jon iz teh kewl: indarwinsshadow: What you need is a petition to give up your United States and become provinces of Canada. You'd have universal health care, a dollar that's worth something, access to all the oil you'd need, room to expand, you'd be able to travel anywhere in the world without being shot at, and access to Tim Hortons and all the hockey games you ever wanted to attend. The only draw back is you have to tolerate Quebec.

you're Britain. Didn't we fight a war to separate from you guys??


We're Britain? We are? I wasn't aware we're Britain. I know were a commonwealth country like Australia and NZ, but we're not Britain. Hey, we even have our own money and guess what? It's worth more than yours *GASP*. And you didn't fight a war to separate from us. The United Empire Loyalists packed up their sh*t and headed north to British held NA. Actually, my ancestors owned a big chunk of Pittsburgh but somehow I don't think I'm about to see a residual check anytime soon. Gimme my money you dead beats.
Think of it this way, you dump the United States moniker, become provinces and we scare the living sh*t out of the rest of the world by becoming the largest double double country on the planet. Magine how pissed off Putin will be when he wakes up and reads the news.
2012-11-13 10:20:50 AM
1 votes:
I was a Romney supporter and I think Obama is one of the worst presidents in modern history, but I would never sign one of these stupid petitions. Get a grip people, we lost and Obama rightfully won a second term. This country will survive and go on.
2012-11-13 10:20:36 AM
1 votes:

Biness: Biological Ali: Biness: And whilst we're near the subject, the conflict of 1861-1865 was not a civil war. A civil war, by definition, is two or more factions fighting for control of one government or one nation. The American "civil war" was not that. It was a war for independence. The south did not seek to control the country, just their territory.

Not sure if serious...

entirely serious. All judgments aside, the american civil war was not a civil war. call it insurrection, call it independence, the south wasn't trying to take over the country, they were trying to leave it.


A civil war is a war between organized groups within the same nation state or republic,[1] or, less commonly, between two countries created from a formerly united nation state.[2] The aim of one side may be to take control of the country or a region, to achieve independence for a region, or to change government policies.[1] The term is a calque of the Latin bellum civile which was used to refer to the various civil wars of the Roman Republic in the 1st century BC.
2012-11-13 10:19:37 AM
1 votes:
Can't we just put them in FEMA work camps or have them toil in underground sugar caves? You know, something productive.
2012-11-13 10:16:39 AM
1 votes:

Biological Ali: Biness: And whilst we're near the subject, the conflict of 1861-1865 was not a civil war. A civil war, by definition, is two or more factions fighting for control of one government or one nation. The American "civil war" was not that. It was a war for independence. The south did not seek to control the country, just their territory.

Not sure if serious...


entirely serious. All judgments aside, the american civil war was not a civil war. call it insurrection, call it independence, the south wasn't trying to take over the country, they were trying to leave it.
2012-11-13 10:16:35 AM
1 votes:
Florida ... send them to Florida.
2012-11-13 10:16:25 AM
1 votes:

Nhojwolfe: propasaurus: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

1) Texas. Deport them all to Texas. But not Austin.

2) Fine, Capt. Buzzkill. Be all literal and logical.

Harumph.

We should send them all to Cali, Most of them to L/a

//It is a hole that is going to fall off in the ocean sooner or later anyways.


WTF! We don't want them here. What about Idaho, South Dakota, somewhere REAL cold.
2012-11-13 10:16:03 AM
1 votes:

bacongood: Would this include any idiot who put up one those "Bush isn't my president" signs?

Everyone needs to grow up; we picked from two different flavors of vanilla.


Good point, but falling on deaf ears I'm afraid. Ain't no hatred like sore winner hatred.
2012-11-13 10:11:40 AM
1 votes:
so the left doesn't want to deport people who are in the country illegally, but does want to deport US citizens who exercise their constitutional rights.

that is all you need to know about the left.
2012-11-13 10:11:28 AM
1 votes:

Krymson Tyde: Slaxl: All you need to do is designate one state "Republicanland", promise them their independence once all proponents of a Republican Jesus state have moved there. That way it's not in anyway a violation of free speech. It's people getting what they want. Just choose a state you can all be rid of happily, preferably one that is already majority Republican, to avoid the impact on Democrats who will have to move out.

Arizona would work well. We could finance moving everyone out who wants out since we'd ultimately be saving tons of money. Also we could admit Puerto Rico to return to 50 states.


Those asswipes are NOT getting The Grand Canyon. Give them, like, Idaho or something.
2012-11-13 10:06:14 AM
1 votes:
I hear Somalia is lovely this time of year. No taxes, no regulation, no law - just you, your gun, and however much you can take.

/until someone takes it from you.
2012-11-13 10:06:06 AM
1 votes:

JackieRabbit: It would seem that people who cannot properly choose when to should use the "who" and when to should use "that" also doesn't know anything about the constitution either. Pronouns are hard!


no one proofreads on fark, this isn't a grammatical dick waving contest.
2012-11-13 10:06:03 AM
1 votes:
Guys, we're missing out an HUGE opportunity here! Don't sign this stupid depot petition, go sign the original petition and help kick Louisiana out of the country!

This is our chance to get rid of those inbred twats forever! What are you waiting for? Sign it! Sign it now and help make the USA a better place!
2012-11-13 10:05:27 AM
1 votes:

JackieRabbit: It would seem that people who cannot properly choose when to should use the "who" and when to should use "that" also doesn't know anything about the constitution either. Pronouns are hard!


So are grammar
2012-11-13 10:04:24 AM
1 votes:
Forward™

This president & Admin has brought this country together so much it hurts

*eyeroll*
2012-11-13 10:01:24 AM
1 votes:

99.998er: all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale,


I wonder, are Harvard and Yale aware they aren't Ivy League schools?
2012-11-13 10:00:58 AM
1 votes:
They may enjoy being part of the Free State Project.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_State_Project
2012-11-13 09:59:47 AM
1 votes:
This is 'Merica, if you don't like it get the fark out.

/taste of their own medicine.
2012-11-13 09:59:10 AM
1 votes:
Well, if their petitions result in the actions they desire (their states seceding from the Union), we won't have to do anything at all. They'll have effectively deported themselves.since they won't be living IN the United States anymore.

The issue, as others have noted, is getting the sane people out of the states that have withdrawn. There needs to be an "OK, you can go- but we get to keep everyone with an IQ over 60" clause to the Articles of Separation.

All farksnark aside, I think there's some recent historical precedent for this: Wasn't the creation of Pakistan basically the same thing?
2012-11-13 09:56:10 AM
1 votes:
If we could pull that off, just think how high the average IQ in this country would jump!
2012-11-13 09:55:17 AM
1 votes:

This text is now purple: doyner: A perfect troll move by Obama would be to introduce a bill that explicitly makes secession attempts paramount to an act of sedition or treason. Let the Teabaggers go on record with a vote on that one...

I'm not sure the Democrats really want to be on the record as re-proposing the Alien & Sedition Act.


It wouldn't be ASA II Electric Boogaloo. It would just be "secession is bad, mmmkay."
2012-11-13 09:53:41 AM
1 votes:
Cant kick them all out, who will pay for all your programs?
2012-11-13 09:52:54 AM
1 votes:

doyner: A perfect troll move by Obama would be to introduce a bill that explicitly makes secession attempts paramount to an act of sedition or treason. Let the Teabaggers go on record with a vote on that one...


I'm not sure the Democrats really want to be on the record as re-proposing the Alien & Sedition Act.
2012-11-13 09:51:54 AM
1 votes:

bacongood:

Everyone needs to grow up; we picked from two different flavors of vanilla.


That's... racist?
2012-11-13 09:50:28 AM
1 votes:
I'm sure that there is some federal land somewhere we could put them. Carve out a reservation for them somewhere in Wyoming. Didn't Romney or one of his buddies enter some kind of deal with the feds during the Olympics whereby they traded parcels of land in Utah and Wyoming? The former became a ski resort and the latter is just undeveloped scrubland or something like that, iirc.

/Poe's law
2012-11-13 09:49:03 AM
1 votes:
Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

Guam? That's still in the US, but it's not a state.
No, it might tip.
2012-11-13 09:48:57 AM
1 votes:

Bathia_Mapes:

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


How is it *punishing* them when they are asking to *not* be a part of the US anymore?
2012-11-13 09:48:33 AM
1 votes:
See, this is why this country can't have nice things.

Texans have very valid concerns that need to be addressed. Their route of having them addressed is a bit extreme, but that's their right.

That childish troll that decided to start THIS petition should get a visit by the feds for making a mockery of government resources.
2012-11-13 09:47:52 AM
1 votes:

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: OK, how about everyone who signed a petition to withdraw their state from the USA gets a free copy of the Texas v. White (1869) decision with the words "Suck it, biatches!" written on it by Obama.


Even better give them a copy of it as an audio file narrated by Obama.
2012-11-13 09:46:49 AM
1 votes:
www.brycecook.com 

Deport em', I barely...yeah okay, I did destroy their ports, what of it?
2012-11-13 09:46:19 AM
1 votes:

GAT_00: I didn't sign one of these, the whole petition thing is ridiculous, but I'm pretty sure a decent number of the signers did so as a joke.


Yep, you know a lot of people must have signed the Texas succession one who aren't even from there.
2012-11-13 09:45:36 AM
1 votes:
Stupidity is not treason.

"Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. " Asking if you can leave, while futile, is not treason.

Link
2012-11-13 09:43:07 AM
1 votes:
img136.imageshack.us
2012-11-13 09:41:29 AM
1 votes:
The very definition of traitor.
2012-11-13 09:41:23 AM
1 votes:

Herr Docktor Heinrich Wisenheimer: I think we should give them the radioactive bits of Nevada.

Maybe they'll mutate into something intelligent.


hills have eyes?
i2.listal.com

"Now yer a real merkin!"
2012-11-13 09:38:41 AM
1 votes:
Isn't a petition pretty much a strongly-worded letter?
2012-11-13 09:38:34 AM
1 votes:

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?


Guam? That's still in the US, but it's not a state.
2012-11-13 09:37:52 AM
1 votes:

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.



You're not invited to any of my house parties Ms. Debbie Downer.
2012-11-13 09:13:49 AM
1 votes:
I didn't sign one of these, the whole petition thing is ridiculous, but I'm pretty sure a decent number of the signers did so as a joke.
2012-11-13 08:40:20 AM
1 votes:
Ok, now I want to create a petition. "Petition to Deport Everyone Who Signed a Petition to Deport Everyone That Signed A Petition To Withdraw Their State From The United States Of America".

/it's turtles all the farking way down, biatches
2012-11-13 08:37:56 AM
1 votes:

PC LOAD LETTER: Krymson Tyde: Arizona would work well.

Southern Arizona. Northern AZ is farking beautiful.


You obviously have never seen Mt. Lemmon or the area near the Mexico border.

...

For that matter, there's little of Arizona that's ugly. Maybe the very southwestern part. And Phoenix. Phoenix is the taint of America.
2012-11-13 08:32:17 AM
1 votes:

PC LOAD LETTER: Krymson Tyde: Arizona would work well.

Southern Arizona. Northern AZ is farking beautiful.


I'm okay with that. The important thing is they have enough room and can be isolated. Will there be enough space there or will they need some of New Mexico as well?
2012-11-13 08:15:35 AM
1 votes:

Krymson Tyde: Arizona would work well.


Southern Arizona. Northern AZ is farking beautiful.
2012-11-13 03:56:00 AM
1 votes:

violentsalvation: I kinda wish they could get stuck somewhere, including the people who signed from other states as a "GOOD RIDDANCE" gesture. Like a scared straight FEMA reeducation camp for the afternoon or something, but yeah, those don't exist, yet. Term II.


Term III


/I've said too much
 
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