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(White House)   Petition to deport everyone that signed a petition to withdraw their state from The United States of America   (petitions.whitehouse.gov ) divider line
    More: Followup, petitions  
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15349 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Nov 2012 at 9:36 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



343 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2012-11-13 09:47:11 AM  

Slaxl: All you need to do is designate one state "Republicanland", promise them their independence once all proponents of a Republican Jesus state have moved there. That way it's not in anyway a violation of free speech. It's people getting what they want. Just choose a state you can all be rid of happily, preferably one that is already majority Republican, to avoid the impact on Democrats who will have to move out.


I'm really REALLY starting to think this is a solution. Give them Texas - put Romney in charge, build a wall, and broadcast a live feed to the US from cameras on the top.

As they completely portray the "Bob the Angry Flower" cartoon depicting the aftermath of Atlas Shrugged, we can both laugh at their stupidity and educate everyone else as to why a functioning society has to actually function on more than "screw you I've got mine".
 
2012-11-13 09:47:52 AM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: OK, how about everyone who signed a petition to withdraw their state from the USA gets a free copy of the Texas v. White (1869) decision with the words "Suck it, biatches!" written on it by Obama.


Even better give them a copy of it as an audio file narrated by Obama.
 
2012-11-13 09:48:17 AM  
So...there is soon going to be an opening for Texas Governor? Time to start my campaign
 
2012-11-13 09:48:29 AM  
Would this include any idiot who put up one those "Bush isn't my president" signs?

Everyone needs to grow up; we picked from two different flavors of vanilla.
 
2012-11-13 09:48:33 AM  
See, this is why this country can't have nice things.

Texans have very valid concerns that need to be addressed. Their route of having them addressed is a bit extreme, but that's their right.

That childish troll that decided to start THIS petition should get a visit by the feds for making a mockery of government resources.
 
2012-11-13 09:48:44 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


Not too good at this humor thing I take it.
 
2012-11-13 09:48:55 AM  

propasaurus: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

1) Texas. Deport them all to Texas. But not Austin.

2) Fine, Capt. Buzzkill. Be all literal and logical.

Harumph.


We should send them all to Cali, Most of them to L/a

//It is a hole that is going to fall off in the ocean sooner or later anyways.
 
2012-11-13 09:48:57 AM  

Bathia_Mapes:

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


How is it *punishing* them when they are asking to *not* be a part of the US anymore?
 
2012-11-13 09:49:03 AM  
Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

Guam? That's still in the US, but it's not a state.
No, it might tip.
 
2012-11-13 09:49:50 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.



to the Fascist State of Republicanville where they belong. its an island out in the middle of the pacific ocean. they'll be safe there.
 
2012-11-13 09:50:28 AM  
I'm sure that there is some federal land somewhere we could put them. Carve out a reservation for them somewhere in Wyoming. Didn't Romney or one of his buddies enter some kind of deal with the feds during the Olympics whereby they traded parcels of land in Utah and Wyoming? The former became a ski resort and the latter is just undeveloped scrubland or something like that, iirc.

/Poe's law
 
2012-11-13 09:50:32 AM  

alaric3: An off shore barge.

Not punishing them. Rewarding them. They aren't happy here.


lol

i was thinking island, but barge will work.
 
2012-11-13 09:50:33 AM  

Satanic_Hamster: Dammit, I meant to create a petition to punch Grover Norquist in the dick last night.


But as head of the NRA, I'm sure Mr. Norquist could properly defend himself against any attempt to attac-

I can't even finish it. He probably has as much experience around firearms as Sarah Palin did before that hunting show (or whatever it was).
 
2012-11-13 09:51:24 AM  
It's inevitable. The country is divided 50-50 for liberalism or conservatism.

I wonder on which side of that line most of us would like to live?
 
2012-11-13 09:51:46 AM  

Bontesla: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

At what point does advocating for separation become treason?


Historically? When you seize a federal fort.
 
2012-11-13 09:51:50 AM  
send their asses to Mexico. i'm sure their white faces will be more than welcome there.
 
2012-11-13 09:51:54 AM  

bacongood:

Everyone needs to grow up; we picked from two different flavors of vanilla.


That's... racist?
 
2012-11-13 09:52:00 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

 
2012-11-13 09:52:38 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


3) Points 1 and 2 are meaningless given that this petition is clearly in the spirit of snark.
 
2012-11-13 09:52:44 AM  

doyner: Begun, the petition wars have.


This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it.
 
2012-11-13 09:52:54 AM  

doyner: A perfect troll move by Obama would be to introduce a bill that explicitly makes secession attempts paramount to an act of sedition or treason. Let the Teabaggers go on record with a vote on that one...


I'm not sure the Democrats really want to be on the record as re-proposing the Alien & Sedition Act.
 
2012-11-13 09:52:57 AM  

Linux_Yes: alaric3: An off shore barge.

Not punishing them. Rewarding them. They aren't happy here.

lol

i was thinking island, but barge will work.


Not Manhatten. Because they'd just escape from there.
 
2012-11-13 09:53:09 AM  
You know... it's just a strange damned thing and speaks to a much bigger issue.

I really didn't like bush, I even hung a flag upside down out of my dorm, because I was an overzealous college idiot with little understanding of things.

But even then, my thing was "we are in trouble, and need help." not "eff this i'm out"

as bad as i have ever thought it was, i never wanted out.
 
2012-11-13 09:53:24 AM  

thunderbird8804: [www.brycecook.com image 756x924] 

Deport em', I barely...yeah okay, I did destroy their ports, what of it?


Actually he didn't. Sherman needed those ports to keep in touch with the North, so he didn't destroy the ones he occupied.

I still say move all the secessionists to a Hawaiian Island and let them live there for a while, preferably one with little to no infrastructure.
 
2012-11-13 09:53:41 AM  
Cant kick them all out, who will pay for all your programs?
 
2012-11-13 09:54:03 AM  

tuxq: See, this is why this country can't have nice things.

Texans have very valid concerns that need to be addressed. Their route of having them addressed is a bit extreme, but that's their right.

That childish troll that decided to start THIS petition should get a visit by the feds for making a mockery of government resources.


6/10

You'll get a few bites, I reckon.
 
2012-11-13 09:55:05 AM  

sodomizer: It's inevitable. The country is divided 50-50 for liberalism or conservatism.

I wonder on which side of that line most of us would like to live?


well, if you like sticking your tongue up corporate/wealthy ass and thing the richest 2% should be allowed to do as they please, including taking over your government, then go live with the CONservatives.

if you think Democracy is a good thing and that power must not be allowed to become too concentrated and that the citizens have the right to establish the goverment they choose and to be represented in that government, then go live with the liberals.

its a profoundly easy choice for me. i'm educated and i don't listen to FOX "news" corporate owned propaganda.
 
2012-11-13 09:55:17 AM  

This text is now purple: doyner: A perfect troll move by Obama would be to introduce a bill that explicitly makes secession attempts paramount to an act of sedition or treason. Let the Teabaggers go on record with a vote on that one...

I'm not sure the Democrats really want to be on the record as re-proposing the Alien & Sedition Act.


It wouldn't be ASA II Electric Boogaloo. It would just be "secession is bad, mmmkay."
 
2012-11-13 09:56:04 AM  

BravadoGT: [img136.imageshack.us image 640x352]


Aw man, I tried to find that and failed miserably. My Google-fu is terribly weak.
 
2012-11-13 09:56:10 AM  
If we could pull that off, just think how high the average IQ in this country would jump!
 
2012-11-13 09:56:11 AM  
Just kick texas out, then deport all the fascists and christianists there in trail of tears style forced marches.
 
2012-11-13 09:56:19 AM  

Shyla: Bathia_Mapes:

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

How is it *punishing* them when they are asking to *not* be a part of the US anymore?


Either the government has legal authority or it doesn't. If it has, then it must play by its own rules. You can't have it both ways.
 
2012-11-13 09:56:58 AM  
Dear Red States:

We're ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we've decided we're leaving.

We in New York intend to form our own country and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Colorado, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the Northeast.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A).

To sum up briefly:
You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.

You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

We're taking the good weed too. You can have that crap they grow in Mexico.

Sincerely,

Citizens of the Enlightened States of America
 
2012-11-13 09:57:49 AM  

sodomizer: It's inevitable. The country is divided 50-50 for liberalism or conservatism.

I wonder on which side of that line most of us would like to live?


You forgot your tagline. The one about Liberals being scavengers of human misery or whatever.
 
2012-11-13 09:58:20 AM  

Arctic Phoenix: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

Guam? That's still in the US, but it's not a state.


Guam is already about to tip over. Add a bunch of Republicans and...

Wait, why am I arguing against this?
 
2012-11-13 09:58:20 AM  
FOX "News" has done more damage to this Nation and its fading Democracy than any Terrorist could ever dream of.



9/11 killed 3000 americans and knocked down a couple of skyscrapers. FOX News is dismantling our Democracy and our way of life using corporate/wealthy owned propaganda. they have no interest in facts, or truth, or the actual news.

well done, comrades. i'm impressed.
 
2012-11-13 09:58:46 AM  

propasaurus: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

1) Texas. Deport them all to Texas. But not Austin.

2) Fine, Capt. Buzzkill. Be all literal and logical.

Harumph.


Hey, Houston, Harris County Texas is one of the blue counties here and we don't want them either. By the way neither does El Paso
 
2012-11-13 09:59:03 AM  

Linux_Yes: sodomizer: It's inevitable. The country is divided 50-50 for liberalism or conservatism.

I wonder on which side of that line most of us would like to live?

well, if you like sticking your tongue up corporate/wealthy ass and thing the richest 2% should be allowed to do as they please, including taking over your government, then go live with the CONservatives.

if you think Democracy is a good thing and that power must not be allowed to become too concentrated and that the citizens have the right to establish the goverment they choose and to be represented in that government, then go live with the liberals.

its a profoundly easy choice for me. i'm educated and i don't listen to FOX "news" corporate owned propaganda.


"Democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where 51% of the people may take away the rights of the other 49%." - TJ
therein lies the problem...eventually you run out of other peoples money
 
2012-11-13 09:59:10 AM  
Well, if their petitions result in the actions they desire (their states seceding from the Union), we won't have to do anything at all. They'll have effectively deported themselves.since they won't be living IN the United States anymore.

The issue, as others have noted, is getting the sane people out of the states that have withdrawn. There needs to be an "OK, you can go- but we get to keep everyone with an IQ over 60" clause to the Articles of Separation.

All farksnark aside, I think there's some recent historical precedent for this: Wasn't the creation of Pakistan basically the same thing?
 
2012-11-13 09:59:11 AM  

Joe Blowme: Cant kick them all out, who will pay for all your programs?


Who can pay for them now? There's a reason we're $16 trillion in the hole, $1.42 trillion just this year.
 
2012-11-13 09:59:37 AM  
You guys take yourselves too seriously. This isn't a waste of government resources, and it certainly isn't punishing anyone or violating anyone's First Amendment rights. The response to speech you disagree with is more speech, and in this case someone decided to go with satire to voice their disagreement. And the government has electrons to spare for such harmless nonsense.

Relax.
 
2012-11-13 09:59:47 AM  
This is 'Merica, if you don't like it get the fark out.

/taste of their own medicine.
 
2012-11-13 09:59:49 AM  
Deport those fargin' bastages!

/preferably to Sweden
 
2012-11-13 10:00:20 AM  
wow it's almost as gay as two gay people putting two Samsung Galaxy S3 fones together to transfer a playlist
 
2012-11-13 10:00:26 AM  

Bontesla: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

At what point does advocating for separation become treason?


technically at no point, I believe. You aren't an enemy or traitor by simply seeking to leave the union. though it is messy.
 
2012-11-13 10:00:48 AM  

Bathia_Mapes: 2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


thecine6.com

"We got a God-given right to have white biatches secede!"

"That's not a God-given right for you... or anyone else, for that matter."

"...but it's our God-given right to ask for white biatches secession!"
 
2012-11-13 10:00:58 AM  
They may enjoy being part of the Free State Project.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_State_Project
 
2012-11-13 10:01:11 AM  

Slaxl: All you need to do is designate one state "Republicanland", promise them their independence once all proponents of a Republican Jesus state have moved there. That way it's not in anyway a violation of free speech. It's people getting what they want. Just choose a state you can all be rid of happily, preferably one that is already majority Republican, to avoid the impact on Democrats who will have to move out.


They tried that before in 1860, didn't work out too well.
 
2012-11-13 10:01:16 AM  
Also...grammar.
 
2012-11-13 10:01:24 AM  

99.998er: all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale,


I wonder, are Harvard and Yale aware they aren't Ivy League schools?
 
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