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(White House)   Petition to deport everyone that signed a petition to withdraw their state from The United States of America   (petitions.whitehouse.gov) divider line 343
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15248 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Nov 2012 at 9:36 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-13 03:01:53 AM
1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.
 
2012-11-13 03:10:57 AM
An off shore barge.

Not punishing them. Rewarding them. They aren't happy here.
 
2012-11-13 03:15:49 AM

Bathia_Mapes:
2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


Indeedy this
 
2012-11-13 03:27:19 AM

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


1) Texas. Deport them all to Texas. But not Austin.

2) Fine, Capt. Buzzkill. Be all literal and logical.

Harumph.
 
2012-11-13 03:34:31 AM

alaric3: An off shore barge.

Not punishing them. Rewarding them. They aren't happy here.


I like your positive spin and can-do attitude.
 
2012-11-13 03:41:41 AM

propasaurus: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

1) Texas. Deport them all to Texas. But not Austin.

2) Fine, Capt. Buzzkill. Be all literal and logical.

Harumph.


i819.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-13 03:45:18 AM
I kinda wish they could get stuck somewhere, including the people who signed from other states as a "GOOD RIDDANCE" gesture. Like a scared straight FEMA reeducation camp for the afternoon or something, but yeah, those don't exist, yet. Term II.
 
2012-11-13 03:52:12 AM

propasaurus: 1) Texas. Deport them all to Texas. But not Austin.


We can move the capital back to Gonzalez, or Houston, dig up Austin, turn it upside down, replant.
 
2012-11-13 03:56:00 AM

violentsalvation: I kinda wish they could get stuck somewhere, including the people who signed from other states as a "GOOD RIDDANCE" gesture. Like a scared straight FEMA reeducation camp for the afternoon or something, but yeah, those don't exist, yet. Term II.


Term III


/I've said too much
 
2012-11-13 04:11:29 AM
All you need to do is designate one state "Republicanland", promise them their independence once all proponents of a Republican Jesus state have moved there. That way it's not in anyway a violation of free speech. It's people getting what they want. Just choose a state you can all be rid of happily, preferably one that is already majority Republican, to avoid the impact on Democrats who will have to move out.
 
2012-11-13 05:46:38 AM

Slaxl: All you need to do is designate one state "Republicanland", promise them their independence once all proponents of a Republican Jesus state have moved there. That way it's not in anyway a violation of free speech. It's people getting what they want. Just choose a state you can all be rid of happily, preferably one that is already majority Republican, to avoid the impact on Democrats who will have to move out.


Arizona would work well. We could finance moving everyone out who wants out since we'd ultimately be saving tons of money. Also we could admit Puerto Rico to return to 50 states.
 
2012-11-13 06:28:39 AM

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


At what point does advocating for separation become treason?
 
2012-11-13 08:15:35 AM

Krymson Tyde: Arizona would work well.


Southern Arizona. Northern AZ is farking beautiful.
 
2012-11-13 08:16:13 AM
Begun, the petition wars have.
 
2012-11-13 08:32:17 AM

PC LOAD LETTER: Krymson Tyde: Arizona would work well.

Southern Arizona. Northern AZ is farking beautiful.


I'm okay with that. The important thing is they have enough room and can be isolated. Will there be enough space there or will they need some of New Mexico as well?
 
2012-11-13 08:36:31 AM
Well, that was one of the stupidest things I've ever seen...
 
2012-11-13 08:37:56 AM

PC LOAD LETTER: Krymson Tyde: Arizona would work well.

Southern Arizona. Northern AZ is farking beautiful.


You obviously have never seen Mt. Lemmon or the area near the Mexico border.

...

For that matter, there's little of Arizona that's ugly. Maybe the very southwestern part. And Phoenix. Phoenix is the taint of America.
 
2012-11-13 08:40:20 AM
Ok, now I want to create a petition. "Petition to Deport Everyone Who Signed a Petition to Deport Everyone That Signed A Petition To Withdraw Their State From The United States Of America".

/it's turtles all the farking way down, biatches
 
2012-11-13 08:46:09 AM
I think we should give them the radioactive bits of Nevada.

Maybe they'll mutate into something intelligent.
 
2012-11-13 08:50:36 AM
I'm going to sign my own petition, with blackjack, and hookers.


Forget the oetition.
 
2012-11-13 08:51:27 AM
PETITION

Damn IPad leyboard!
 
2012-11-13 09:01:11 AM
OK, how about everyone who signed a petition to withdraw their state from the USA gets a free copy of the Texas v. White (1869) decision with the words "Suck it, biatches!" written on it by Obama.
 
2012-11-13 09:13:49 AM
I didn't sign one of these, the whole petition thing is ridiculous, but I'm pretty sure a decent number of the signers did so as a joke.
 
2012-11-13 09:17:53 AM

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


I did not know insurrection was protected speech under the 1st amendment.
 
2012-11-13 09:27:43 AM
A perfect troll move by Obama would be to introduce a bill that explicitly makes secession attempts paramount to an act of sedition or treason. Let the Teabaggers go on record with a vote on that one...
 
2012-11-13 09:28:40 AM

sammyk: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

I did not know insurrection was protected speech under the 1st amendment.


I did not know signing an online petition was an armed and violent uprising.
 
2012-11-13 09:35:58 AM

Slaxl: I did not know signing an online petition was an armed and violent uprising.


The more you know
 
2012-11-13 09:37:52 AM

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.



You're not invited to any of my house parties Ms. Debbie Downer.
 
2012-11-13 09:38:24 AM
When the Founding Fathers created the right to petition the government, I don't think they envisioned internet trolls.
 
2012-11-13 09:38:34 AM

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?


Guam? That's still in the US, but it's not a state.
 
2012-11-13 09:38:41 AM
Isn't a petition pretty much a strongly-worded letter?
 
2012-11-13 09:39:06 AM
Derp derp derp herp derp!

Derp? Herp Derp.

Derp!
 
2012-11-13 09:39:40 AM
Ummm...Drew, are you sure you want to link directly to WhiteHouse.gov? If the link gets farked, you're going to be accused of a DoS attack against the US government. The Subby conspiracy is in full effect.
 
2012-11-13 09:39:48 AM

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?


Guantanamo.

Bathia_Mapes: 2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


Incorrect. They were advocating an unconstitutional separation of the union.
 
2012-11-13 09:40:03 AM

xanadian: Ok, now I want to create a petition. "Petition to Deport Everyone Who Signed a Petition to Deport Everyone That Signed A Petition To Withdraw Their State From The United States Of America".

/it's turtles all the farking way down, biatches


I'd sign all of them.
 
2012-11-13 09:41:23 AM

Herr Docktor Heinrich Wisenheimer: I think we should give them the radioactive bits of Nevada.

Maybe they'll mutate into something intelligent.


hills have eyes?
i2.listal.com

"Now yer a real merkin!"
 
2012-11-13 09:41:29 AM
The very definition of traitor.
 
2012-11-13 09:41:40 AM

xanadian: For that matter, there's little of Arizona that's ugly.


toxichominid.com
Well, not the land, anyway...
 
2012-11-13 09:42:33 AM

Krymson Tyde: Arizona would work well. We could finance moving everyone out who wants out since we'd ultimately be saving tons of money. Also we could admit Puerto Rico to return to 50 states.


Why not Alaska? It's not even connected to continental US.
 
2012-11-13 09:43:07 AM
img136.imageshack.us
 
2012-11-13 09:43:10 AM
This is silly.
 
2012-11-13 09:44:18 AM

Bontesla: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

At what point does advocating for separation become treason?


Not in a legal sense, but personal opinion wise, I'd want you to be reasonably charged with incitement to violence or espionage before upgrading it to treason.

Charging people with treason for JUST mouthing off against the state, no matter how vehemently or seriously, is one of the hallmarks of what makes a government "bad" in my view. Peacefully advocating a separatist movement is something that's either easily ignored at the ballot box, or it's something that has merit and needs to be addressed with policy one way or the other.
 
2012-11-13 09:45:12 AM
Dammit, I meant to create a petition to punch Grover Norquist in the dick last night.
 
2012-11-13 09:45:17 AM
No, don't deport them. Force them to stay in this country they hate so much because of Presidebt Fartbongo and his socialist communism. Make them suffer through every day of his four-year term until he peacefully steps down in 2017 and a new democratically-elected leader is sworn in to replace him. And tell them over and over again that they are wrong.
 
2012-11-13 09:45:36 AM
Stupidity is not treason.

"Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. " Asking if you can leave, while futile, is not treason.

Link
 
2012-11-13 09:46:09 AM

BravadoGT: [img136.imageshack.us image 640x352]


Came here for this. Blah blah blah.
 
2012-11-13 09:46:19 AM

GAT_00: I didn't sign one of these, the whole petition thing is ridiculous, but I'm pretty sure a decent number of the signers did so as a joke.


Yep, you know a lot of people must have signed the Texas succession one who aren't even from there.
 
2012-11-13 09:46:33 AM
Finally! A petition I can get behind. The US needs to buy some land in the Maldives, since they are sinking, I heard you can buy them pretty cheap, and move all those basturds there.

PROBLEM SOLVED.
 
2012-11-13 09:46:39 AM
Sedition, treason, whatever. Let them learn a valuable lesson. Rich, old white guys can get away with outing a CIA covert agent. The great unwashed can't get away with signing a petition.

Where's your Grand Old Party now? Hint: They're at a country club that you can't caddy at, let alone join. In other words, you have no chance at becoming a Cinderella story at Augusta. Which is nice.

/You didn't honestly think the GOP worked for you, did you? You work for the rich guys. They don't give a shiat about you individually. In this country, useful idiots abound.
 
2012-11-13 09:46:49 AM
www.brycecook.com 

Deport em', I barely...yeah okay, I did destroy their ports, what of it?
 
2012-11-13 09:47:11 AM

Slaxl: All you need to do is designate one state "Republicanland", promise them their independence once all proponents of a Republican Jesus state have moved there. That way it's not in anyway a violation of free speech. It's people getting what they want. Just choose a state you can all be rid of happily, preferably one that is already majority Republican, to avoid the impact on Democrats who will have to move out.


I'm really REALLY starting to think this is a solution. Give them Texas - put Romney in charge, build a wall, and broadcast a live feed to the US from cameras on the top.

As they completely portray the "Bob the Angry Flower" cartoon depicting the aftermath of Atlas Shrugged, we can both laugh at their stupidity and educate everyone else as to why a functioning society has to actually function on more than "screw you I've got mine".
 
2012-11-13 09:47:52 AM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: OK, how about everyone who signed a petition to withdraw their state from the USA gets a free copy of the Texas v. White (1869) decision with the words "Suck it, biatches!" written on it by Obama.


Even better give them a copy of it as an audio file narrated by Obama.
 
2012-11-13 09:48:17 AM
So...there is soon going to be an opening for Texas Governor? Time to start my campaign
 
2012-11-13 09:48:29 AM
Would this include any idiot who put up one those "Bush isn't my president" signs?

Everyone needs to grow up; we picked from two different flavors of vanilla.
 
2012-11-13 09:48:33 AM
See, this is why this country can't have nice things.

Texans have very valid concerns that need to be addressed. Their route of having them addressed is a bit extreme, but that's their right.

That childish troll that decided to start THIS petition should get a visit by the feds for making a mockery of government resources.
 
2012-11-13 09:48:44 AM

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


Not too good at this humor thing I take it.
 
2012-11-13 09:48:55 AM

propasaurus: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

1) Texas. Deport them all to Texas. But not Austin.

2) Fine, Capt. Buzzkill. Be all literal and logical.

Harumph.


We should send them all to Cali, Most of them to L/a

//It is a hole that is going to fall off in the ocean sooner or later anyways.
 
2012-11-13 09:48:57 AM

Bathia_Mapes:

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


How is it *punishing* them when they are asking to *not* be a part of the US anymore?
 
2012-11-13 09:49:03 AM
Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

Guam? That's still in the US, but it's not a state.
No, it might tip.
 
2012-11-13 09:49:50 AM

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.



to the Fascist State of Republicanville where they belong. its an island out in the middle of the pacific ocean. they'll be safe there.
 
2012-11-13 09:50:28 AM
I'm sure that there is some federal land somewhere we could put them. Carve out a reservation for them somewhere in Wyoming. Didn't Romney or one of his buddies enter some kind of deal with the feds during the Olympics whereby they traded parcels of land in Utah and Wyoming? The former became a ski resort and the latter is just undeveloped scrubland or something like that, iirc.

/Poe's law
 
2012-11-13 09:50:32 AM

alaric3: An off shore barge.

Not punishing them. Rewarding them. They aren't happy here.




lol

i was thinking island, but barge will work.
 
2012-11-13 09:50:33 AM

Satanic_Hamster: Dammit, I meant to create a petition to punch Grover Norquist in the dick last night.


But as head of the NRA, I'm sure Mr. Norquist could properly defend himself against any attempt to attac-

I can't even finish it. He probably has as much experience around firearms as Sarah Palin did before that hunting show (or whatever it was).
 
2012-11-13 09:51:24 AM
It's inevitable. The country is divided 50-50 for liberalism or conservatism.

I wonder on which side of that line most of us would like to live?
 
2012-11-13 09:51:46 AM

Bontesla: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

At what point does advocating for separation become treason?


Historically? When you seize a federal fort.
 
2012-11-13 09:51:50 AM
send their asses to Mexico. i'm sure their white faces will be more than welcome there.
 
2012-11-13 09:51:54 AM

bacongood:

Everyone needs to grow up; we picked from two different flavors of vanilla.


That's... racist?
 
2012-11-13 09:52:00 AM

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

 
2012-11-13 09:52:38 AM

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


3) Points 1 and 2 are meaningless given that this petition is clearly in the spirit of snark.
 
2012-11-13 09:52:44 AM

doyner: Begun, the petition wars have.


This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it.
 
2012-11-13 09:52:54 AM

doyner: A perfect troll move by Obama would be to introduce a bill that explicitly makes secession attempts paramount to an act of sedition or treason. Let the Teabaggers go on record with a vote on that one...


I'm not sure the Democrats really want to be on the record as re-proposing the Alien & Sedition Act.
 
2012-11-13 09:52:57 AM

Linux_Yes: alaric3: An off shore barge.

Not punishing them. Rewarding them. They aren't happy here.



lol

i was thinking island, but barge will work.


Not Manhatten. Because they'd just escape from there.
 
2012-11-13 09:53:09 AM
You know... it's just a strange damned thing and speaks to a much bigger issue.

I really didn't like bush, I even hung a flag upside down out of my dorm, because I was an overzealous college idiot with little understanding of things.

But even then, my thing was "we are in trouble, and need help." not "eff this i'm out"

as bad as i have ever thought it was, i never wanted out.
 
2012-11-13 09:53:24 AM

thunderbird8804: [www.brycecook.com image 756x924] 

Deport em', I barely...yeah okay, I did destroy their ports, what of it?


Actually he didn't. Sherman needed those ports to keep in touch with the North, so he didn't destroy the ones he occupied.

I still say move all the secessionists to a Hawaiian Island and let them live there for a while, preferably one with little to no infrastructure.
 
2012-11-13 09:53:41 AM
Cant kick them all out, who will pay for all your programs?
 
2012-11-13 09:54:03 AM

tuxq: See, this is why this country can't have nice things.

Texans have very valid concerns that need to be addressed. Their route of having them addressed is a bit extreme, but that's their right.

That childish troll that decided to start THIS petition should get a visit by the feds for making a mockery of government resources.


6/10

You'll get a few bites, I reckon.
 
2012-11-13 09:55:05 AM

sodomizer: It's inevitable. The country is divided 50-50 for liberalism or conservatism.

I wonder on which side of that line most of us would like to live?




well, if you like sticking your tongue up corporate/wealthy ass and thing the richest 2% should be allowed to do as they please, including taking over your government, then go live with the CONservatives.

if you think Democracy is a good thing and that power must not be allowed to become too concentrated and that the citizens have the right to establish the goverment they choose and to be represented in that government, then go live with the liberals.

its a profoundly easy choice for me. i'm educated and i don't listen to FOX "news" corporate owned propaganda.
 
2012-11-13 09:55:17 AM

This text is now purple: doyner: A perfect troll move by Obama would be to introduce a bill that explicitly makes secession attempts paramount to an act of sedition or treason. Let the Teabaggers go on record with a vote on that one...

I'm not sure the Democrats really want to be on the record as re-proposing the Alien & Sedition Act.


It wouldn't be ASA II Electric Boogaloo. It would just be "secession is bad, mmmkay."
 
2012-11-13 09:56:04 AM

BravadoGT: [img136.imageshack.us image 640x352]


Aw man, I tried to find that and failed miserably. My Google-fu is terribly weak.
 
2012-11-13 09:56:10 AM
If we could pull that off, just think how high the average IQ in this country would jump!
 
2012-11-13 09:56:11 AM
Just kick texas out, then deport all the fascists and christianists there in trail of tears style forced marches.
 
2012-11-13 09:56:19 AM

Shyla: Bathia_Mapes:

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

How is it *punishing* them when they are asking to *not* be a part of the US anymore?


Either the government has legal authority or it doesn't. If it has, then it must play by its own rules. You can't have it both ways.
 
2012-11-13 09:56:58 AM
Dear Red States:

We're ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we've decided we're leaving.

We in New York intend to form our own country and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Colorado, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the Northeast.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A).

To sum up briefly:
You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.

You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

We're taking the good weed too. You can have that crap they grow in Mexico.

Sincerely,

Citizens of the Enlightened States of America
 
2012-11-13 09:57:49 AM

sodomizer: It's inevitable. The country is divided 50-50 for liberalism or conservatism.

I wonder on which side of that line most of us would like to live?


You forgot your tagline. The one about Liberals being scavengers of human misery or whatever.
 
2012-11-13 09:58:20 AM

Arctic Phoenix: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

Guam? That's still in the US, but it's not a state.


Guam is already about to tip over. Add a bunch of Republicans and...

Wait, why am I arguing against this?
 
2012-11-13 09:58:20 AM
FOX "News" has done more damage to this Nation and its fading Democracy than any Terrorist could ever dream of.



9/11 killed 3000 americans and knocked down a couple of skyscrapers. FOX News is dismantling our Democracy and our way of life using corporate/wealthy owned propaganda. they have no interest in facts, or truth, or the actual news.

well done, comrades. i'm impressed.
 
2012-11-13 09:58:46 AM

propasaurus: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

1) Texas. Deport them all to Texas. But not Austin.

2) Fine, Capt. Buzzkill. Be all literal and logical.

Harumph.


Hey, Houston, Harris County Texas is one of the blue counties here and we don't want them either. By the way neither does El Paso
 
2012-11-13 09:59:03 AM

Linux_Yes: sodomizer: It's inevitable. The country is divided 50-50 for liberalism or conservatism.

I wonder on which side of that line most of us would like to live?



well, if you like sticking your tongue up corporate/wealthy ass and thing the richest 2% should be allowed to do as they please, including taking over your government, then go live with the CONservatives.

if you think Democracy is a good thing and that power must not be allowed to become too concentrated and that the citizens have the right to establish the goverment they choose and to be represented in that government, then go live with the liberals.

its a profoundly easy choice for me. i'm educated and i don't listen to FOX "news" corporate owned propaganda.


"Democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where 51% of the people may take away the rights of the other 49%." - TJ
therein lies the problem...eventually you run out of other peoples money
 
2012-11-13 09:59:10 AM
Well, if their petitions result in the actions they desire (their states seceding from the Union), we won't have to do anything at all. They'll have effectively deported themselves.since they won't be living IN the United States anymore.

The issue, as others have noted, is getting the sane people out of the states that have withdrawn. There needs to be an "OK, you can go- but we get to keep everyone with an IQ over 60" clause to the Articles of Separation.

All farksnark aside, I think there's some recent historical precedent for this: Wasn't the creation of Pakistan basically the same thing?
 
2012-11-13 09:59:11 AM

Joe Blowme: Cant kick them all out, who will pay for all your programs?


Who can pay for them now? There's a reason we're $16 trillion in the hole, $1.42 trillion just this year.
 
2012-11-13 09:59:37 AM
You guys take yourselves too seriously. This isn't a waste of government resources, and it certainly isn't punishing anyone or violating anyone's First Amendment rights. The response to speech you disagree with is more speech, and in this case someone decided to go with satire to voice their disagreement. And the government has electrons to spare for such harmless nonsense.

Relax.
 
2012-11-13 09:59:47 AM
This is 'Merica, if you don't like it get the fark out.

/taste of their own medicine.
 
2012-11-13 09:59:49 AM
Deport those fargin' bastages!

/preferably to Sweden
 
2012-11-13 10:00:20 AM
wow it's almost as gay as two gay people putting two Samsung Galaxy S3 fones together to transfer a playlist
 
2012-11-13 10:00:26 AM

Bontesla: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

At what point does advocating for separation become treason?


technically at no point, I believe. You aren't an enemy or traitor by simply seeking to leave the union. though it is messy.
 
2012-11-13 10:00:48 AM

Bathia_Mapes: 2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


thecine6.com

"We got a God-given right to have white biatches secede!"

"That's not a God-given right for you... or anyone else, for that matter."

"...but it's our God-given right to ask for white biatches secession!"
 
2012-11-13 10:00:58 AM
They may enjoy being part of the Free State Project.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_State_Project
 
2012-11-13 10:01:11 AM

Slaxl: All you need to do is designate one state "Republicanland", promise them their independence once all proponents of a Republican Jesus state have moved there. That way it's not in anyway a violation of free speech. It's people getting what they want. Just choose a state you can all be rid of happily, preferably one that is already majority Republican, to avoid the impact on Democrats who will have to move out.


They tried that before in 1860, didn't work out too well.
 
2012-11-13 10:01:16 AM
Also...grammar.
 
2012-11-13 10:01:24 AM

99.998er: all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale,


I wonder, are Harvard and Yale aware they aren't Ivy League schools?
 
2012-11-13 10:01:29 AM

theknuckler_33: This is silly.


farm8.staticflickr.com
 
2012-11-13 10:01:35 AM

socratesthekidd: You know... it's just a strange damned thing and speaks to a much bigger issue.

I really didn't like bush, I even hung a flag upside down out of my dorm, because I was an overzealous college idiot with little understanding of things.

But even then, my thing was "we are in trouble, and need help." not "eff this i'm out"

as bad as i have ever thought it was, i never wanted out.


In the end, it's the money that politicians care about, the party affiliation is the road they travel to get there.

I see them like preachers on TV... they can pick baptist, methodist, whatever... the truth is, they just want the $$$. They don't agree with simple peons such as ourselves -- they could care less about us. Their political party is how they "connect" with us. But, in my experiences, it has been nothing but an easier way for them to use our predictable weaknesses against us. Republicans want less government, so the lying "republican" will promise less government. Will they provide? Hell no. Same goes for democrats, "we need national healthcare," they say. I'm still paying for my health insurance. In fact, now I'm required to ... WTF?!? I just can't believe that people still fall for these people that are none other than snakeoil salesmen with a twist -- that twist being that they not only try to sell you bs, but they try to connect to you on an extremely fake emotional level.

/Libertarians FTW.
 
2012-11-13 10:02:11 AM
21 right wing wacko petitions and 1 sarcastic reactionary petition that will be cited as "proof" that "both sides do it".

That's about the right ratio.
 
2012-11-13 10:02:16 AM

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


So? If those states succeed from the union, who is going to help fund my Section 8 housing, and food stamps? There won't be enough tax payers in the states that are left to help fund all this.

I see nothing wrong with getting rid of a few toothless knuckleheads in order for me to have the right of free housing and food.
 
2012-11-13 10:03:07 AM

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


Alright, pack it up folks. You heard the man. No fun allowed. This is a strict no-fun zone.
 
2012-11-13 10:03:54 AM

99.998er: Dear Red States:


Oh yay, is this where we get to hear a bunch of sanctimonious bullshiat about how NYC is the center of the universe and all Northerners are enlightened wonderful people and all people in the South are terrible and evil?

Sincerely,

Citizens of the Enlightened States of America


sigh

/this is bad
//you should feel bad
 
2012-11-13 10:04:10 AM

Tumunga: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

So? If those states succeed from the union, who is going to help fund my Section 8 housing, and food stamps? There won't be enough tax payers in the states that are left to help fund all this.

I see nothing wrong with getting rid of a few toothless knuckleheads in order for me to have the right of free housing and food steal other people's property because i'm too lazy to work.


ftfy
 
2012-11-13 10:04:14 AM
Put them on a raft and set them adrift in the berring sea
 
2012-11-13 10:04:16 AM
It would seem that people who cannot properly choose when to should use the "who" and when to should use "that" also doesn't know anything about the constitution either. Pronouns are hard!
 
2012-11-13 10:04:24 AM
Forward™

This president & Admin has brought this country together so much it hurts

*eyeroll*
 
2012-11-13 10:04:49 AM

Bathia_Mapes: 2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


Yes, but according to Scalia, it isn't punishment if there is no "punitive intent." Clearly, the intent in deporting America's enemies isn't to punish them. It is to do them the favor of removing them from the situation that makes them so unhappy. In much the same way capitalists routinely do their vocally unhappy employees the "favor" of firing them in order to "help them find a line of work that makes them happy." Therefore, there is a purely beneficent intent here, and deportation here is constitutionally permissible.
 
2012-11-13 10:05:15 AM

Jiro Dreams Of McRibs: You didn't honestly think the GOP worked for you, did you? You work for the rich guys. They don't give a shiat about you individually. In this country, useful idiots abound.


Yeah, that's what they told us in 1917, too.

It worked out just great.

Resentment of the rich is not a political platform, it's a tantrum.
 
2012-11-13 10:05:24 AM

phrawgh: The very definition of traitor.


They have not made war upon the US, nor aided its enemies. Thus, what they've done doesn't fit the Constitutional definition of a traitor. It's very clear about that.
 
2012-11-13 10:05:27 AM

JackieRabbit: It would seem that people who cannot properly choose when to should use the "who" and when to should use "that" also doesn't know anything about the constitution either. Pronouns are hard!


So are grammar
 
2012-11-13 10:06:03 AM
Guys, we're missing out an HUGE opportunity here! Don't sign this stupid depot petition, go sign the original petition and help kick Louisiana out of the country!

This is our chance to get rid of those inbred twats forever! What are you waiting for? Sign it! Sign it now and help make the USA a better place!
 
2012-11-13 10:06:06 AM

JackieRabbit: It would seem that people who cannot properly choose when to should use the "who" and when to should use "that" also doesn't know anything about the constitution either. Pronouns are hard!


no one proofreads on fark, this isn't a grammatical dick waving contest.
 
2012-11-13 10:06:08 AM

Joe Blowme: Cant kick them all out, who will pay for all your programs?


DAMN YOU!!
 
2012-11-13 10:06:09 AM
What you need is a petition to give up your United States and become provinces of Canada. You'd have universal health care, a dollar that's worth something, access to all the oil you'd need, room to expand, you'd be able to travel anywhere in the world without being shot at, and access to Tim Hortons and all the hockey games you ever wanted to attend. The only draw back is you have to tolerate Quebec.
 
2012-11-13 10:06:09 AM
I live in the south. I'm ok with the idea of seceding. My one issue: I don't want Florida. Is the north willing to keep florida?
 
2012-11-13 10:06:14 AM
I hear Somalia is lovely this time of year. No taxes, no regulation, no law - just you, your gun, and however much you can take.

/until someone takes it from you.
 
2012-11-13 10:06:26 AM

xanadian: Well, that was one of the stupidest things I've ever seen...


You didn't see the Texas one, didja?

/signed this one
//all for deporting stupidity
///except for the good looking people
////and those that cook
 
2012-11-13 10:06:47 AM
It'd be hilarious if the White House called Texas out on it and said "yep, go have a state wide vote on it". The politicking and rhetoric in Texas would easily surpass what was going on during the election.
 
2012-11-13 10:07:08 AM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: OK, how about everyone who signed a petition to withdraw their state from the USA gets a free copy of the Texas v. White (1869) decision with the words "Suck it, biatches!" written on it by Obama.


one subscription, please.
 
2012-11-13 10:07:13 AM

indarwinsshadow: What you need is a petition to give up your United States and become provinces of Canada. You'd have universal health care, a dollar that's worth something, access to all the oil you'd need, room to expand, you'd be able to travel anywhere in the world without being shot at, and access to Tim Hortons and all the hockey games you ever wanted to attend. The only draw back is you have to tolerate Quebec.


FALSE. THERE IS NO HOCKEY.
 
2012-11-13 10:07:49 AM

tuxq: JackieRabbit: It would seem that people who cannot properly choose when to should use the "who" and when to should use "that" also doesn't know anything about the constitution either. Pronouns are hard!

no one proofreads on fark, this isn't a grammatical dick waving contest.


Oh, wait, you weren't referring to me. See, in my previous post, I was guilty of doing it... and I caught it, but it was too late. My bad. Maybe it's contagious?
 
2012-11-13 10:08:22 AM
So when was it that Conservatives became the whiny biatches that the liberals used to be? Conservatives were once logical, rational and firm in their patriotism, even in defeat. Now some of you want to secede because you lost an election (or several)? How weak and cowardly.
 
2012-11-13 10:08:38 AM

Millennium: phrawgh: The very definition of traitor.

They have not made war upon the US, nor aided its enemies. Thus, what they've done doesn't fit the Constitutional definition of a traitor. It's very clear about that.


The prospect of an American civil war aids America's enemies, and gives them comfort by boosting their morale.
 
2012-11-13 10:09:07 AM
To be fair, if we let those states secede the signers would 'self - deport'...
 
2012-11-13 10:09:42 AM
Republicans live rural. Democrats live urban. Since you can't separate the cities and the farms into their own countries, we're going to have to keep working together whether we like it or not.
 
2012-11-13 10:09:58 AM
Please deport me, and my entire family, to the Caymans, please.

I'll sign it twice, maybe even 3 times!
 
2012-11-13 10:10:25 AM

bacongood: Would this include any idiot who put up one those "Bush isn't my president" signs?

Everyone needs to grow up; we picked from two different flavors of vanilla.


He and his team said we weren't American if we didn't agree with him. He told us that he wasn't our president. I haven't seen Obama say anything like that.
 
2012-11-13 10:10:25 AM
The problem isn't that the US is that bad. It just is too big to administer the governance of the states very well. Secession is a pretty good solution - smaller, more manageable states with trade agreements and defense pacts is perfectly viable. It isn't a solution that will come to fruition.

When I say it is too big, it really isn't, but it is when your government is a constitutional republic that everyone pretends is a democracy. Having a tyrant/dictator/king/emperor rule over all the states through a system of appointing local and state officials is a much more viable option. Capitalism as we know it would have to die. Oh well. The king is dead; long live the king.

Few states could survive well on their own. Texas would be just fine, and the Gulf states could band together or even join with Texas. I don't think any of the landlocked states could do it unless they joined with a state that has a legitimate port. States are pretty intertwined when it comes to power grids, transportation, food supply, etc. Again, Texas comes out pretty much unscathed. But they don't have enough to gain by leaving, so they won't.
 
2012-11-13 10:10:26 AM

indarwinsshadow: What you need is a petition to give up your United States and become provinces of Canada. You'd have universal health care, a dollar that's worth something, access to all the oil you'd need, room to expand, you'd be able to travel anywhere in the world without being shot at, and access to Tim Hortons and all the hockey games you ever wanted to attend. The only draw back is you have to tolerate Quebec.


you're Britain. Didn't we fight a war to separate from you guys??
 
2012-11-13 10:10:45 AM

Biness: Tumunga: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

So? If those states succeed from the union, who is going to help fund my Section 8 housing, and food stamps? There won't be enough tax payers in the states that are left to help fund all this.

I see nothing wrong with getting rid of a few toothless knuckleheads in order for me to have the right of free housing and food steal other people's property because i'm too lazy to work.

ftfy


Stealing? No, it's paying your fair share because I'm too lazy to work. Get it right.
 
2012-11-13 10:11:28 AM

Krymson Tyde: Slaxl: All you need to do is designate one state "Republicanland", promise them their independence once all proponents of a Republican Jesus state have moved there. That way it's not in anyway a violation of free speech. It's people getting what they want. Just choose a state you can all be rid of happily, preferably one that is already majority Republican, to avoid the impact on Democrats who will have to move out.

Arizona would work well. We could finance moving everyone out who wants out since we'd ultimately be saving tons of money. Also we could admit Puerto Rico to return to 50 states.


Those asswipes are NOT getting The Grand Canyon. Give them, like, Idaho or something.
 
2012-11-13 10:11:31 AM
Reading this thread is making me feel like I'm on reddit
 
2012-11-13 10:11:40 AM
so the left doesn't want to deport people who are in the country illegally, but does want to deport US citizens who exercise their constitutional rights.

that is all you need to know about the left.
 
2012-11-13 10:11:43 AM

Baz744: Millennium: phrawgh: The very definition of traitor.

They have not made war upon the US, nor aided its enemies. Thus, what they've done doesn't fit the Constitutional definition of a traitor. It's very clear about that.

The prospect of an American civil war aids America's enemies, and gives them comfort by boosting their morale.


Well thats a reach if i've ever seen one.

And whilst we're near the subject, the conflict of 1861-1865 was not a civil war. A civil war, by definition, is two or more factions fighting for control of one government or one nation. The American "civil war" was not that. It was a war for independence. The south did not seek to control the country, just their territory.
 
2012-11-13 10:11:52 AM

alaric3: An off shore barge.

Not punishing them. Rewarding them. They aren't happy here.


ecmoRandomNumbers: I like your positive spin and can-do attitude.


Like this guy said.
 
2012-11-13 10:13:46 AM

BoxOfBees: Few states could survive well on their own. Texas would be just fine, and the Gulf states could band together or even join with Texas. I don't think any of the landlocked states could do it unless they joined with a state that has a legitimate port.


I think if great lakes states were to band together they'd have a shot.
 
2012-11-13 10:13:53 AM

propasaurus: 1) Texas. Deport them all to Texas. But not Austin.


What makes Austin what it is, is the rest of Texas around it. Pull Austin out of Texas and then all you have left is the equivelant of Lafayette, IN or Ames, IA.
 
2012-11-13 10:14:19 AM

Shyla: Finally! A petition I can get behind. The US needs to buy some land in the Maldives, since they are sinking, I heard you can buy them pretty cheap, and move all those basturds there.

PROBLEM SOLVED.


I bet they would start studying-it-out on global warming when the land beneath them is being swamped by rising sea levels.
 
2012-11-13 10:14:58 AM

Biness: And whilst we're near the subject, the conflict of 1861-1865 was not a civil war. A civil war, by definition, is two or more factions fighting for control of one government or one nation. The American "civil war" was not that. It was a war for independence. The south did not seek to control the country, just their territory.


Not sure if serious...
 
2012-11-13 10:15:21 AM
Hey, while we're at it, can we also deport all the people who said they were going to leave the country if Bush Junior got re-elected, then didn't?
 
2012-11-13 10:15:29 AM

ursomniac: Slaxl: All you need to do is designate one state "Republicanland", promise them their independence once all proponents of a Republican Jesus state have moved there. That way it's not in anyway a violation of free speech. It's people getting what they want. Just choose a state you can all be rid of happily, preferably one that is already majority Republican, to avoid the impact on Democrats who will have to move out.

I'm really REALLY starting to think this is a solution. Give them Texas - put Romney in charge, build a wall, and broadcast a live feed to the US from cameras on the top.

As they completely portray the "Bob the Angry Flower" cartoon depicting the aftermath of Atlas Shrugged, we can both laugh at their stupidity and educate everyone else as to why a functioning society has to actually function on more than "screw you I've got mine".


I just googled the cartoon. ROFLMAOBBQ! Years ago, I tried reading the book, and I made it about halfway through before I couldn't stand it anymore.

Politics makes strange bedfellows indeed, and nothing stranger than seeing amoral corporate anarchists and rabid extremist "Christians" working together to tear our country apart.
 
2012-11-13 10:15:30 AM
Is it just me, or is this "We the People" website turning into 4chan/pol/?

You'd think an administration as net-savvy as the Obama's would know about internet trolling by now.
 
2012-11-13 10:16:01 AM

Baz744: Millennium: phrawgh: The very definition of traitor.

They have not made war upon the US, nor aided its enemies. Thus, what they've done doesn't fit the Constitutional definition of a traitor. It's very clear about that.

The prospect of an American civil war aids America's enemies, and gives them comfort by boosting their morale.


Except that there is no credible prospect of an American civil war, and even if there were, "boosting their morale" is not material aid nor comfort.
 
2012-11-13 10:16:03 AM

bacongood: Would this include any idiot who put up one those "Bush isn't my president" signs?

Everyone needs to grow up; we picked from two different flavors of vanilla.


Good point, but falling on deaf ears I'm afraid. Ain't no hatred like sore winner hatred.
 
2012-11-13 10:16:17 AM

tenpoundsofcheese: so the left doesn't want to deport people who are in the country illegally, but does want to deport US citizens who exercise their constitutional rights.

that is all you need to know about the left.


then those that do can still get free health care, instate tuition, run accross the border and have anchor babies, get jobs and send all the cash to Texas and access to welfare via sanctuary cities.... cool.
 
2012-11-13 10:16:25 AM

Nhojwolfe: propasaurus: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

1) Texas. Deport them all to Texas. But not Austin.

2) Fine, Capt. Buzzkill. Be all literal and logical.

Harumph.

We should send them all to Cali, Most of them to L/a

//It is a hole that is going to fall off in the ocean sooner or later anyways.


WTF! We don't want them here. What about Idaho, South Dakota, somewhere REAL cold.
 
2012-11-13 10:16:35 AM
Florida ... send them to Florida.
 
2012-11-13 10:16:39 AM

Biological Ali: Biness: And whilst we're near the subject, the conflict of 1861-1865 was not a civil war. A civil war, by definition, is two or more factions fighting for control of one government or one nation. The American "civil war" was not that. It was a war for independence. The south did not seek to control the country, just their territory.

Not sure if serious...


entirely serious. All judgments aside, the american civil war was not a civil war. call it insurrection, call it independence, the south wasn't trying to take over the country, they were trying to leave it.
 
2012-11-13 10:16:39 AM

untaken_name: Hey, while we're at it, can we also deport all the people who said they were going to leave the country if Bush Junior got re-elected, then didn't?


Those people weren't advocating secession, so no.
 
2012-11-13 10:16:49 AM
amazing.

If liberals deport those who feel this current admin is doing a shiat job... who will be left to pay into the welfare system for the liberals to get their monthly checks?
 
2012-11-13 10:16:57 AM

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


Agreed. I may think they're being hyperventilating jacka$$es, but that doesn't negate their rights.
 
2012-11-13 10:17:03 AM
Still waiting for Donal Trump to be charged with sedition and federal asshattery.
 
2012-11-13 10:17:19 AM
If you really want to get the conspiracy theorists to go full derp, create a petition to send all the people who signed a secession petition to be sent to a FEMA Camp. That would be too funny.
 
2012-11-13 10:18:00 AM

Graffito: untaken_name: Hey, while we're at it, can we also deport all the people who said they were going to leave the country if Bush Junior got re-elected, then didn't?

Those people weren't advocating secession, so no.


But according to other people, it would be helping them since "they weren't happy here". If one side isn't allowed to mouth off like idiots in the face of defeat, neither should the other side be.
 
2012-11-13 10:18:22 AM

Biness: the south wasn't trying to take over the country


There are some villages in southern Pennsylvania that might dicker with that assessment.
 
2012-11-13 10:18:30 AM

tuxq: socratesthekidd: You know... it's just a strange damned thing and speaks to a much bigger issue.

I really didn't like bush, I even hung a flag upside down out of my dorm, because I was an overzealous college idiot with little understanding of things.

But even then, my thing was "we are in trouble, and need help." not "eff this i'm out"

as bad as i have ever thought it was, i never wanted out.

In the end, it's the money that politicians care about, the party affiliation is the road they travel to get there.

I see them like preachers on TV... they can pick baptist, methodist, whatever... the truth is, they just want the $$$. They don't agree with simple peons such as ourselves -- they could care less about us. Their political party is how they "connect" with us. But, in my experiences, it has been nothing but an easier way for them to use our predictable weaknesses against us. Republicans want less government, so the lying "republican" will promise less government. Will they provide? Hell no. Same goes for democrats, "we need national healthcare," they say. I'm still paying for my health insurance. In fact, now I'm required to ... WTF?!? I just can't believe that people still fall for these people that are none other than snakeoil salesmen with a twist -- that twist being that they not only try to sell you bs, but they try to connect to you on an extremely fake emotional level.

/Libertarians FTW.


I hear what you're saying, but Libertarians are a problematic bunch as well.

I admit, I only know RonPaul and people I've debated with, but in my opinion, a lot of it goes way too far. We need public schools, we need an epa, we need osha.

And from what I have seen, libertarians want to get rid of that kind of stuff. If I'm wrong, please feel free to correct me.
 
2012-11-13 10:18:37 AM

Mouser: Is it just me, or is this "We the People" website turning into 4chan/pol/?


i.imgur.com
 
2012-11-13 10:18:56 AM

Biness: Baz744: Millennium: phrawgh: The very definition of traitor.

They have not made war upon the US, nor aided its enemies. Thus, what they've done doesn't fit the Constitutional definition of a traitor. It's very clear about that.

The prospect of an American civil war aids America's enemies, and gives them comfort by boosting their morale.

Well thats a reach if i've ever seen one.

And whilst we're near the subject, the conflict of 1861-1865 was not a civil war. A civil war, by definition, is two or more factions fighting for control of one government or one nation. The American "civil war" was not that. It was a war for independence. The south did not seek to control the country, just their territory.


1) It doesn't matter, because I don't want to punish America's conservative enemies for treason. I just want to help them find a nationality arrangement better suited to their happiness.

2) Civil war: "a war between citizens of the same country."

Link

3) Not only is your definition of "civil war" wrong, but so is your factual predicate. The American south is American territory by convention, constitution, and sovereignty. The Confederacy was fighting for control of our country. Not theirs. So even under your pedantically restricted definition of civil war, you're wrong.
 
2012-11-13 10:19:30 AM

miscreant: Krymson Tyde: Arizona would work well. We could finance moving everyone out who wants out since we'd ultimately be saving tons of money. Also we could admit Puerto Rico to return to 50 states.

Why not Alaska? It's not even connected to continental US.


I thought about that, and have even suggested it in the past. I decided Alaska is just too beautiful to give up, plus it wouldn't be fair to our Canadian neighbors.
 
2012-11-13 10:19:37 AM
Can't we just put them in FEMA work camps or have them toil in underground sugar caves? You know, something productive.
 
2012-11-13 10:20:36 AM

Biness: Biological Ali: Biness: And whilst we're near the subject, the conflict of 1861-1865 was not a civil war. A civil war, by definition, is two or more factions fighting for control of one government or one nation. The American "civil war" was not that. It was a war for independence. The south did not seek to control the country, just their territory.

Not sure if serious...

entirely serious. All judgments aside, the american civil war was not a civil war. call it insurrection, call it independence, the south wasn't trying to take over the country, they were trying to leave it.


A civil war is a war between organized groups within the same nation state or republic,[1] or, less commonly, between two countries created from a formerly united nation state.[2] The aim of one side may be to take control of the country or a region, to achieve independence for a region, or to change government policies.[1] The term is a calque of the Latin bellum civile which was used to refer to the various civil wars of the Roman Republic in the 1st century BC.
 
2012-11-13 10:20:38 AM
lolsignedforthelols

Anyone who signed the other petitions has no faith in or loyalty to the United States of America. We've weathered revolution, war, civil war, world war, pearl harbor, the great depression, the 60s, Nixon, Carter and 9/11. Any American thinking that we can't weather a little unliked policy for a term or two is a fat moron who needs to be deported to France and forced to grow a mustache and eat stinky cheeses with bad wine. So you didn't vote for the guy. Man up and accept that you're fair-weather American who only sticks with the USA when you like the President and his policies and everything goes your way, you whining, wide-eyed p*ssy.
 
2012-11-13 10:20:45 AM

tenpoundsofcheese: so the left doesn't want to deport people who are in the country illegally, but does want to deport US citizens who exercise their constitutional rights.

that is all you need to know about the left.


You still sound so angry? You gonna be okay, Sparky? I worry about you.
 
2012-11-13 10:20:50 AM
I was a Romney supporter and I think Obama is one of the worst presidents in modern history, but I would never sign one of these stupid petitions. Get a grip people, we lost and Obama rightfully won a second term. This country will survive and go on.
 
2012-11-13 10:20:53 AM
A. First Amendment.

B. While I don't like to use points without evidence, my guess is that petition signers are trapped in the GOP information bubble, and thus, are not making rational decisions. If you want to punish someone, I'd say start with people who lie for their own personal profit.

In short: Your petition sucks, knows it will go nowhere because it is ridiculous on it's premise, and does nothing to solve the problem of misinformation that leads to things like this in the first place, and in fact, contributes to the problem by being something they can point to as against them.

i.imgur.com
 
2012-11-13 10:21:45 AM

Krymson Tyde: I thought about that, and have even suggested it in the past. I decided Alaska is just too beautiful to give up, plus it wouldn't be fair to our Canadian neighbors.


Alaska is already a red state with a relatively prominent secession movement.
 
2012-11-13 10:22:21 AM
Add the people that sign this petition in with them. The secessionists and the reactionary fascists can all go together.
 
2012-11-13 10:22:26 AM
well if a state leaves we can immediately add Pureto Rico cause it would be cheaper than printing new American flags
 
2012-11-13 10:22:29 AM

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?


Antarctica is nice this time of year. Summer's just starting.
 
2012-11-13 10:23:16 AM

Linux_Yes: ...that power must not be allowed to become too concentrated and that the citizens have the right to establish the goverment they choose and to be represented in that government, then go live with the liberals.


power is becoming more concentrated under the liberals. Isn't this call for secession a demand for better more localized representation?
 
2012-11-13 10:23:34 AM
Oh, one more thing. As a fiscal conservative, foreign policy hawk who is socially progressive, I wish the Tea Party would just DIAF....now.
 
2012-11-13 10:23:45 AM

vegasj: who will be left to pay


other people would fill the void if any republican shop owners or workers decided to throw a temper tantrum, no worries.
 
2012-11-13 10:24:33 AM
These petitions, the secession ones as well as DEPORT. farkING. EVERYONE petition will be about as successful as giving joe the bird
 
2012-11-13 10:24:40 AM
Guys.. Texas isn't the answer for deportation. I mean.. there is a much better answer.. the biggest state in the Union awaits all potential secessionists... it isn't even geographically connected to the rest of the U.S.... it's perfect... and for your new president.. you can have the former Governor... I present you... Alaska....!
 
2012-11-13 10:24:44 AM

Bathia_Mapes: 2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


You're absolutely right. But I also ask you what the Derpsters would do about a bunch of ultra-liberal commie atheist anarchists who signed a petition to dissolve religion in America and officially make us subservient to the UN. They would be talking about stripping citizenship, and they would mean it.
 
2012-11-13 10:24:59 AM

sammyk: I did not know insurrection was protected speech under the 1st amendment.



Depends on how specific you are.
Brandenburg v. Ohio says it is protected unless it involves imminent unlawful action.

"The government needs to be overthrown!" = protected
"Im off to overthrow the government today!" not-protected
 
2012-11-13 10:25:01 AM

Linux_Yes: sodomizer: It's inevitable. The country is divided 50-50 for liberalism or conservatism.

I wonder on which side of that line most of us would like to live?



well, if you like sticking your tongue up corporate/wealthy ass and thing the richest 2% should be allowed to do as they please, including taking over your government, then go live with the CONservatives.

if you think Democracy is a good thing and that power must not be allowed to become too concentrated and that the citizens have the right to establish the goverment they choose and to be represented in that government, then go live with the liberals.

its a profoundly easy choice for me. i'm educated and i don't listen to FOX "news" corporate owned propaganda.


What about the conservatives like me who think too much power is being consolidated at the federal vice state level?

And the bit about establishing the government they choose and be represented in that government.. isn't that what they're trying to do through secession?

Not that it matters anyway, a state does not have the right to seceed from the union nor is the President going to entertain the idea of releasing them from the nation. This whole topic has been given way more attention than it deserves from both sides of the aisle. At best this can be viewed as a OWS-esque bit of statement of discontent. The idea that any maps are going to be updated as a result of this is pretty ridiculous.
 
2012-11-13 10:25:08 AM

Jon iz teh kewl: indarwinsshadow: What you need is a petition to give up your United States and become provinces of Canada. You'd have universal health care, a dollar that's worth something, access to all the oil you'd need, room to expand, you'd be able to travel anywhere in the world without being shot at, and access to Tim Hortons and all the hockey games you ever wanted to attend. The only draw back is you have to tolerate Quebec.

you're Britain. Didn't we fight a war to separate from you guys??


We're Britain? We are? I wasn't aware we're Britain. I know were a commonwealth country like Australia and NZ, but we're not Britain. Hey, we even have our own money and guess what? It's worth more than yours *GASP*. And you didn't fight a war to separate from us. The United Empire Loyalists packed up their sh*t and headed north to British held NA. Actually, my ancestors owned a big chunk of Pittsburgh but somehow I don't think I'm about to see a residual check anytime soon. Gimme my money you dead beats.
Think of it this way, you dump the United States moniker, become provinces and we scare the living sh*t out of the rest of the world by becoming the largest double double country on the planet. Magine how pissed off Putin will be when he wakes up and reads the news.
 
2012-11-13 10:25:13 AM

museamused: Still waiting for Donal Trump to be charged with sedition and federal asshattery.



you can't be charged with acts against your country unless you aren't rich.
 
2012-11-13 10:25:34 AM
How about a petition to make them take and pass high school level Social studies and American history classes?
 
2012-11-13 10:25:44 AM
Hey, didn't someone already write a book about this happening?

www.overthinkingit.com
 
2012-11-13 10:25:47 AM

the_geek: They may enjoy being part of the Free State Project.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_State_Project


Ah. "Free States" have such a proud history!

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-11-13 10:25:52 AM
Hey now! I signed the petition so we could get rid of them, not because I want to be part of them!
 
905
2012-11-13 10:25:53 AM
That's stupid. Both sides in this need to grow up and get over themselves, this is a collosal waste of time and resources.

/Says the guy posting on Fark in a politics thread. :P
//Doesn't matter who started it, it needs to be finished.
///Don't make the First Lady spank/ground/make you sit in the naughty chair for this.
 
2012-11-13 10:26:06 AM
Help 'em leave, if they wanna leave so much. The fewer mouth-breathing shiatfarking right-wingers we have in this country, the better.
 
2012-11-13 10:26:19 AM

Millennium: Except that there is no credible prospect of an American civil war, and even if there were, "boosting their morale" is not material aid nor comfort.


1) Depends on what you mean by "credible." Civil war is definitely on the national radar screen in a way it wasn't in, say, 1996. I'm not saying it's more likely than not. But I am saying it can't be completely discounted now.

2) The constitutional definition of "treason" does not contain the word "material." Any judicial attempt to append such a requirement to the definition violates that provision's declaration that it is the only definition of treason.

3) I think it is wrongheaded to punish America's conservative enemies anyway. I just want to help them find a nationality arrangement better suited to their happiness. Per Mr. Justice Scalia, therefore, my approach has no punitive intent, and therefore doesn't require a conviction for treason to be justified.
 
2012-11-13 10:26:22 AM
Punishment of people that signed a petition happened in Wisconsin. The Right even put up a web site so that you could look up the names of people that signed to recall their Scott Walker. Leave it to the teabaggers to actually violate people's rights. Now they want protection?
 
2012-11-13 10:26:55 AM

GAT_00: I didn't sign one of these, the whole petition thing is ridiculous, but I'm pretty sure a decent number of the signers did so as a joke.


I don't know. Throb Boneminator seems legit.
 
2012-11-13 10:27:10 AM

Frank N Stein: Krymson Tyde: I thought about that, and have even suggested it in the past. I decided Alaska is just too beautiful to give up, plus it wouldn't be fair to our Canadian neighbors.

Alaska is already a red state with a relatively prominent secession movement.


I know. I just don't want to give it up.
 
2012-11-13 10:27:21 AM

untaken_name: Hey, didn't someone already write a book about this happening?


yeah right before she went on the dole and became a 47%er
 
2012-11-13 10:27:42 AM
You people who are objecting to this because it's not legally possible are adorable.
 
2012-11-13 10:27:55 AM

vegasj: amazing.

If liberals deport those who feel this current admin is doing a shiat job... who will be left to pay into the welfare system for the liberals to get their monthly checks?


THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A LIBERAL WITH A JOB
 
2012-11-13 10:28:16 AM

indarwinsshadow: Jon iz teh kewl: indarwinsshadow: What you need is a petition to give up your United States and become provinces of Canada. You'd have universal health care, a dollar that's worth something, access to all the oil you'd need, room to expand, you'd be able to travel anywhere in the world without being shot at, and access to Tim Hortons and all the hockey games you ever wanted to attend. The only draw back is you have to tolerate Quebec.

you're Britain. Didn't we fight a war to separate from you guys??

We're Britain? We are? I wasn't aware we're Britain. I know were a commonwealth country like Australia and NZ, but we're not Britain. Hey, we even have our own money and guess what? It's worth more than yours *GASP*. And you didn't fight a war to separate from us. The United Empire Loyalists packed up their sh*t and headed north to British held NA. Actually, my ancestors owned a big chunk of Pittsburgh but somehow I don't think I'm about to see a residual check anytime soon. Gimme my money you dead beats.
Think of it this way, you dump the United States moniker, become provinces and we scare the living sh*t out of the rest of the world by becoming the largest double double country on the planet. Magine how pissed off Putin will be when he wakes up and reads the news.


dude i like your style. legalized marijuana. marmite at publix. let it happen! BRITISH STYLE! *drinks a cup of earl gray*
 
2012-11-13 10:28:52 AM

Headso: untaken_name: Hey, didn't someone already write a book about this happening?

yeah right before she went on the dole and became a 47%er


1%er, 47%er, 2%er, there's too many damned percenters anymore. All I need to know is my whiskey is still 40% alcohol by volume.
 
2012-11-13 10:29:27 AM

Pichu0102: If you want to punish someone, I'd say start with people who lie for their own personal profit.


Now see, that's the whole point your getting wrong. Deportation isn't "punishment" in this case, and therefore cannot violate the First Amendment. Deporting secession petition signers is doing them the favor of helping them find a nationality arrangement better suited to their happiness.
 
2012-11-13 10:31:28 AM

JerseyTim: You people who are objecting to this because it's not legally possible are adorable.


Heh. I'm glad someone else gets it.
 
2012-11-13 10:31:34 AM
img854.imageshack.us

/relax guys
//if we keep being dicks to them they might very well self-deport
 
2012-11-13 10:32:01 AM
The party in power is never in favor of self determination.
 
2012-11-13 10:32:06 AM

Baz744: The prospect of an American civil war aids America's enemies, and gives them comfort by boosting their morale.


"Emboldening our enemies" != treason. If it was, simply reporting bad news, like say a rise in the unemployment rate, Petreus' affair, or the impact of a mis-aimed drone missle, could be considered treason.

The treason bar is much, much higher than that.
 
2012-11-13 10:33:17 AM
Are some of the people signing the petition to withdraw secede from the US also some of the same ones who suggested Warren Buffett could simply write a check to the treasury so that his tax rate was the same as his secretary? If so maybe they should voluntarily self deport themselves from the U.S. to be consistent.
 
2012-11-13 10:34:34 AM

miscreant: Krymson Tyde: Arizona would work well. We could finance moving everyone out who wants out since we'd ultimately be saving tons of money. Also we could admit Puerto Rico to return to 50 states.

Why not Alaska? It's not even connected to continental US.


Too close to Canada, we don't want them either
 
2012-11-13 10:34:56 AM

doyner: A perfect troll move by Obama would be to introduce a bill that explicitly makes secession attempts paramount to an act of sedition or treason. Let the Teabaggers go on record with a vote on that one...


To defy that fascist I'd be happy to sign a petition of seditious secession. Let that evil motherfarker wage a war of Eastern Agression
 
2012-11-13 10:35:10 AM

Cubicle Jockey: Baz744: The prospect of an American civil war aids America's enemies, and gives them comfort by boosting their morale.

"Emboldening our enemies" != treason. If it was, simply reporting bad news, like say a rise in the unemployment rate, Petreus' affair, or the impact of a mis-aimed drone missle, could be considered treason.

The treason bar is much, much higher than that.


Sure. But people who report bad news or poorly aim a missile don't have any actual intent to harm the country. By contrast, secession petition signers have demonstrated an unambiguous intent to tear the country apart.
 
2012-11-13 10:36:22 AM

Joe Blowme: Linux_Yes: sodomizer: It's inevitable. The country is divided 50-50 for liberalism or conservatism.

I wonder on which side of that line most of us would like to live?



well, if you like sticking your tongue up corporate/wealthy ass and thing the richest 2% should be allowed to do as they please, including taking over your government, then go live with the CONservatives.

if you think Democracy is a good thing and that power must not be allowed to become too concentrated and that the citizens have the right to establish the goverment they choose and to be represented in that government, then go live with the liberals.

its a profoundly easy choice for me. i'm educated and i don't listen to FOX "news" corporate owned propaganda.

"Democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where 51% of the people may take away the rights of the other 49%." - TJ
therein lies the problem...eventually you run out of other peoples money



Democracy works because the masses inherently are right 99% of the time. mob rule?? sure, if you don't have an education system that teaches the citizens how to read. you can't have a democracy without a literate population.

you take any random 1000 people and 99% of the time, they will chose the right path to a problem.

course, the Fascists believe that they are the one's with all the knowledge and wisdom. that is where they fail.

1000 minds will always defeat 20 minds.
 
2012-11-13 10:36:37 AM

Frank N Stein: Reading this thread is making me feel like I'm on reddit


Methadone helps you get off Reddit.
 
2012-11-13 10:37:56 AM

JackieRabbit: Frank N Stein: Reading this thread is making me feel like I'm on reddit

Methadone helps you get off Reddit.


Reddit. Not even once.

/I didn't make that statement in praise of Reddit
 
2012-11-13 10:38:26 AM

ursomniac: Slaxl: All you need to do is designate one state "Republicanland", promise them their independence once all proponents of a Republican Jesus state have moved there. That way it's not in anyway a violation of free speech. It's people getting what they want. Just choose a state you can all be rid of happily, preferably one that is already majority Republican, to avoid the impact on Democrats who will have to move out.

I'm really REALLY starting to think this is a solution. Give them Texas - put Romney in charge, build a wall, and broadcast a live feed to the US from cameras on the top.

As they completely portray the "Bob the Angry Flower" cartoon depicting the aftermath of Atlas Shrugged, we can both laugh at their stupidity and educate everyone else as to why a functioning society has to actually function on more than "screw you I've got mine".


The lengths that some people will go through to feel superior. Do you feel happier with yourself now?
 
2012-11-13 10:38:50 AM

Don Dokken: Oh, one more thing. As a fiscal conservative, foreign policy hawk who is socially progressive, I wish the Tea Party would just DIAF....now.


Wait, wait, wait. You think Obama is the worst President in modern history, despite him being a fiscal moderate, socially progressive, foreign policy hawk?

When the alternative was a socially regressive, fiscally irresponsible warmonger?
 
2012-11-13 10:39:25 AM

Joe Blowme: Linux_Yes



other people's money?? Wall street didn't mind taking other people's money when their asses were caught in a jam. your argument is full of pot holes.
 
2012-11-13 10:41:07 AM

Baz744: Millennium: Except that there is no credible prospect of an American civil war, and even if there were, "boosting their morale" is not material aid nor comfort.

1) Depends on what you mean by "credible." Civil war is definitely on the national radar screen in a way it wasn't in, say, 1996. I'm not saying it's more likely than not. But I am saying it can't be completely discounted now.


Sure it can. Do you really think these morons are going to pick up their guns and fight the Union government? For better or for worse, the days when their culture produced people capable of doing that in any significant numbers are long gone. The few who would went out to the wilderness long before this, and they wouldn't have dared sign this sort of thing (the whole "sovereign citizen" bit: playing Calvinball with contract law and maritime law as dictated by a libretto for H.M.S. Pinafore, the latter of which they claim must have been doctored by revisionists because they cannot find the lyrics to I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General).

The people who signed these petitions pretty much, in doing so, marked themselves as the lowest level of threat. Even their opposition is more threatening: after all, you might make some signs, march somewhere, and shout slogans for a couple of days. These people won't even do that: the couple of button-presses it took to sign an online petition is the limit of their will to do anything about it. Can that really be called treason? Can it be called aiding the enemy? I don't think so.
 
2012-11-13 10:41:11 AM

Bendal: Hawaii


How about the Bikini Atoll?

Notice how those on the political left threaten to leave the country while those on the political right always threaten to secede? I think I know why. Those on the left side of the ideological divide have a good choice of places to choose from with decent to good healthcare, solid infrastructure, and national stability like Canada or Sweden. On the right side of the ideological divide on the other hand; the places which actually practice their core ideologies are pretty much shiatholes, and unless you are filthy rich you are pretty much farked if living there.
 
2012-11-13 10:41:12 AM
I bet the author of this petition is shining up their jackboots right now.
 
2012-11-13 10:42:21 AM

sodomizer: It's inevitable. The country is divided 50-50 for liberalism or conservatism.

I wonder on which side of that line most of us would like to live?


50-50 for socialism or fascism would be more accurate.
 
2012-11-13 10:42:35 AM
Just have them self deport to Mexico
 
2012-11-13 10:42:39 AM

Mrbogey: Linux_Yes



how is allowing the richest 2% to steal even more wealth from the middle/working classes spreading power around? money/wealth is power.

the CONservatives think its perfectly fine to allow the wealthy to run this nation and its government and make the rules up as they go.

which, of course, explains why the upper 2% are getting richer while everyone else is getting poorer.
 
2012-11-13 10:42:54 AM
Can someone look up a legal rationale for charging these guys with something and make a real petition to look into formal criminal charges?
 
2012-11-13 10:44:11 AM

Cubicle Jockey: sammyk: I did not know insurrection was protected speech under the 1st amendment.


Depends on how specific you are.
Brandenburg v. Ohio says it is protected unless it involves imminent unlawful action.

"The government needs to be overthrown!" = protected
"Im off to overthrow the government today!" not-protected


Ok, fair enough. Starting a petition to get your state to succeed from the union is taking action to actually do it and not just saying it should happen. While it falls short of organizing an armed rebellion it is still a form of organizing and/or joining a rebellion.

Can we at least make them wear a scarlet "T" for traitor? Seriously, these asshats love to wrap themselves in the flag and go on and on about what patriots they are until the blah man is rightfully elected under the constitution they profess to honor, serve and wish to protect.
 
2012-11-13 10:44:22 AM

This text is now purple: Biness: the south wasn't trying to take over the country

There are some villages in southern Pennsylvania that might dicker with that assessment.


Don't forget Kentucky and Maryland, too. Neither state seceded but both were invaded by Confederate armies.
 
2012-11-13 10:45:50 AM

boogie_down: sodomizer: It's inevitable. The country is divided 50-50 for liberalism or conservatism.

I wonder on which side of that line most of us would like to live?

50-50 for socialism or fascism would be more accurate.



Democratic Socialism is the term.
 
2012-11-13 10:46:45 AM

Jon iz teh kewl: darwin


Thanks. But. You keep saying British. We're not British. Toronto is a like a cleaner version of Buffalo NY. Hell the border is like a big mish mash of our two countries now.
 
2012-11-13 10:47:05 AM

Slaxl: sammyk: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

I did not know insurrection was protected speech under the 1st amendment.

I did not know signing an online petition was an armed and violent uprising.


It's not. It's more aptly called "sedition."
 
2012-11-13 10:47:14 AM

Bendal: This text is now purple: Biness: the south wasn't trying to take over the country

There are some villages in southern Pennsylvania that might dicker with that assessment.

Don't forget Kentucky and Maryland, too. Neither state seceded but both were invaded by Confederate armies.


Kentucky, yes, but be careful with using Maryland as an example of pretty much anything about the Civil War: the whole situation with that state was a gigantic clusterfark possibly rivaling that of West Virginia.
 
2012-11-13 10:47:14 AM

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


The Alien and Sedition Acts specifically describe speech that can be prosecutable. The First Amendment is not a toupee that covers the bald head of treason.
 
2012-11-13 10:49:51 AM

Linux_Yes: Mrbogey: Linux_Yes


how is allowing the richest 2% to steal even more wealth from the middle/working classes spreading power around? money/wealth is power.

the CONservatives think its perfectly fine to allow the wealthy to run this nation and its government and make the rules up as they go.

which, of course, explains why the upper 2% are getting richer while everyone else is getting poorer.


how do you explain how the rich are getting richer under your guy? The richest and most powerful thing in America is the govt also.

Also, capitalism isn't theft.
 
2012-11-13 10:50:27 AM

Prevailing Wind: Just have them self deport to Mexico


Combine it with immigration reform. For every one deported we should allow a Mexican who actually wants to be part of the U.S. stay. They usually add more to the local economies than the "job creators" anyway.
 
2012-11-13 10:50:49 AM
 
2012-11-13 10:51:03 AM
I think it's safe to say that none of these petitions will be enacted upon. Nobody's getting deported, and no state's going to secede, as a result of them. The deportation petitions are a logical ("Fine, you don't like it here? Then you go, but leave the states.), albeit extreme reaction to the secession petitions. Which are also extreme. I'm looking forward to the official response to the secession petitions, and I really want to see an official response to the deportation ones as well. No, seriously, I'm curious.
 
2012-11-13 10:51:36 AM
follow up petition to deport the ones who petitioned for the ones petitioning to secede, to confuse the hell out of everyone as it spirals off into an infinite number of counter petitions
 
2012-11-13 10:52:10 AM

99.998er: Dear Red States:

We're ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we've decided we're leaving.

We in New York intend to form our own country and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Colorado, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the Northeast.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A).

To sum up briefly:
You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.

You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

We're taking the good weed too. You can have that crap they grow in Mexico.

Sincerely,

Citizens of the Enlightened States of America


Oh how I wish I had a computer so I could copy and paste this to my democrat friends
 
2012-11-13 10:52:32 AM

Baz744: Sure. But people who report bad news or poorly aim a missile don't have any actual intent to harm the country. By contrast, secession petition signers have demonstrated an unambiguous intent to tear the country apart.



In 1947, in Haupt v. United States, the Supreme Court upheld his conviction for treason by stating that that his intent was immaterial. His actions in support of his spy son were what counted, and they were considered "Aid and Comfort".

"No matter whether young Haupt's mission was benign or traitorous, known or unknown to the defendant, these acts were aid and comfort to him."
 
2012-11-13 10:53:42 AM

Frank N Stein: Mouser: Is it just me, or is this "We the People" website turning into 4chan/pol/?


JIDF pls go.
 
2012-11-13 10:53:58 AM
Petition to deport signed.

I hear Somalia is nice this time of year. Has that fervently religious minimalist government thing going on as well. They should like it.
 
2012-11-13 10:53:58 AM
Closer and closer every day...
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-11-13 10:54:13 AM

indarwinsshadow: Jon iz teh kewl: darwin

Thanks. But. You keep saying British. We're not British. Toronto is a like a cleaner version of Buffalo NY. Hell the border is like a big mish mash of our two countries now.


really a generic city is like another generic city. wow what with the big buildings, and grocery stores, etc..
 
2012-11-13 10:56:23 AM

BoxOfBees: The problem isn't that the US is that bad. It just is too big to administer the governance of the states very well. Secession is a pretty good solution - smaller, more manageable states with trade agreements and defense pacts is perfectly viable. It isn't a solution that will come to fruition.

When I say it is too big, it really isn't, but it is when your government is a constitutional republic that everyone pretends is a democracy. Having a tyrant/dictator/king/emperor rule over all the states through a system of appointing local and state officials is a much more viable option. Capitalism as we know it would have to die. Oh well. The king is dead; long live the king.

Few states could survive well on their own. Texas would be just fine, and the Gulf states could band together or even join with Texas. I don't think any of the landlocked states could do it unless they joined with a state that has a legitimate port. States are pretty intertwined when it comes to power grids, transportation, food supply, etc. Again, Texas comes out pretty much unscathed. But they don't have enough to gain by leaving, so they won't.


The original intent of putting the states in charge of their fortunes or failures. The federal govt was never supposed to be this big. Each state was intended to be almost it's own "country" but they stand united in defence of all the states.
 
2012-11-13 10:56:34 AM

h0lmesdaddy: Can someone look up a legal rationale for charging these guys with something and make a real petition to look into formal criminal charges?


So, this is what it's come to? There are actually a substantial number of people who are calling for others to be jailed simply because they are making political statements. Right here in the United States of America. No one else sees a problem with this? I'm really the only one?

I may not agree with what you have to say, but I'll fight to the death for your right to say it. To protect the freedom of speech, you have to protect even the most abhorrent speech. I thought that was universally known in this country. (Maybe just not on Fark...who knows)

And we protect scumbags like the Westboro Baptist Church, but we want to throw these guys under the bus? Please tell me most of you are just flexing keyboard muscles, and don't really believe, in your heart, that we should lock people up (or put them in work camps, or re-education camps, as has been suggested) because they have crazy political views.

Because if you really believe that, then you are going out of your way to prove these nutjobs right. A free country does NOT have re-education camps for dissenters, or imprison people for their political views. That is something else entirely.
 
2012-11-13 10:57:15 AM

Jon iz teh kewl: indarwinsshadow: Jon iz teh kewl: darwin

Thanks. But. You keep saying British. We're not British. Toronto is a like a cleaner version of Buffalo NY. Hell the border is like a big mish mash of our two countries now.

really a generic city is like another generic city. wow what with the big buildings, and grocery stores, etc..


It's more like Chicago, except with 50 murders a year instead of 500.You seriously cannot get murdered in Canada.
 
2012-11-13 11:00:49 AM
The important thing is we give the attention whores on both sides lots of attention and seriously debate the legalities, benefits, and possibilities of secession. I never thought I would miss Nate Silver and poll threads but here we are.

/no one is farking seceding you farking morons
//it would also be a bad thing if it happened you farking morons, stop pretending you want it to happen or that it would be a good thing for the country
 
2012-11-13 11:01:17 AM

Rent Party: If we are trolling petitions, let's make them at least believable.

Rename portions of federal highways between Atlanta and Savannah the "William Tecumseh Sherman Memorial Highway"/a>


I am in tears laughing after reading that. I am doing my best not to disturb my co-workers. Masterful troll.
 
2012-11-13 11:01:44 AM

Biness: indarwinsshadow: What you need is a petition to give up your United States and become provinces of Canada. You'd have universal health care, a dollar that's worth something, access to all the oil you'd need, room to expand, you'd be able to travel anywhere in the world without being shot at, and access to Tim Hortons and all the hockey games you ever wanted to attend. The only draw back is you have to tolerate Quebec.

FALSE. THERE IS NO HOCKEY.


Correction, no overpaid rich boy hockey. Still lots of university and minor league games
 
2012-11-13 11:02:40 AM
Where does free speech become hate speech? Is saying you hate the US and want to leave either?

/I have no idea personally
//just spitballing
 
2012-11-13 11:02:48 AM

sorhed: Jon iz teh kewl: indarwinsshadow: Jon iz teh kewl: darwin

Thanks. But. You keep saying British. We're not British. Toronto is a like a cleaner version of Buffalo NY. Hell the border is like a big mish mash of our two countries now.

really a generic city is like another generic city. wow what with the big buildings, and grocery stores, etc..

It's more like Chicago, except with 50 murders a year instead of 500.You seriously cannot get murdered in Canada.


that's cause Canada is so friggin cold. Has basically nothing to do with politics
 
2012-11-13 11:03:57 AM
I don't know who is trolling who anymore...
 
2012-11-13 11:04:04 AM

Hunter_S_Thompson: h0lmesdaddy: Can someone look up a legal rationale for charging these guys with something and make a real petition to look into formal criminal charges?

So, this is what it's come to? There are actually a substantial number of people who are calling for others to be jailed simply because they are making political statements. Right here in the United States of America. No one else sees a problem with this? I'm really the only one?

I may not agree with what you have to say, but I'll fight to the death for your right to say it. To protect the freedom of speech, you have to protect even the most abhorrent speech. I thought that was universally known in this country. (Maybe just not on Fark...who knows)

And we protect scumbags like the Westboro Baptist Church, but we want to throw these guys under the bus? Please tell me most of you are just flexing keyboard muscles, and don't really believe, in your heart, that we should lock people up (or put them in work camps, or re-education camps, as has been suggested) because they have crazy political views.

Because if you really believe that, then you are going out of your way to prove these nutjobs right. A free country does NOT have re-education camps for dissenters, or imprison people for their political views. That is something else entirely.


Lighten up Francis. It is a joke, a "troll", and a way to show the "keyboard seccessionists" how silly they look. Well that or scare them depending how gullible they are.
 
2012-11-13 11:04:26 AM

untaken_name: Hey, didn't someone already write a book about this happening?

[www.overthinkingit.com image 259x387]


I don't remember exactly this happening in Idiocracy...
 
2012-11-13 11:07:48 AM

Eraic: Guys.. Texas isn't the answer for deportation. I mean.. there is a much better answer.. the biggest state in the Union awaits all potential secessionists... it isn't even geographically connected to the rest of the U.S.... it's perfect... and for your new president.. you can have the former Governor... I present you... Alaska....!


You are now tagged as "doesn't know how to use elipses"
 
2012-11-13 11:08:08 AM

Linux_Yes: Joe Blowme: Linux_Yes: sodomizer: It's inevitable. The country is divided 50-50 for liberalism or conservatism.

I wonder on which side of that line most of us would like to live?



well, if you like sticking your tongue up corporate/wealthy ass and thing the richest 2% should be allowed to do as they please, including taking over your government, then go live with the CONservatives.

if you think Democracy is a good thing and that power must not be allowed to become too concentrated and that the citizens have the right to establish the goverment they choose and to be represented in that government, then go live with the liberals.

its a profoundly easy choice for me. i'm educated and i don't listen to FOX "news" corporate owned propaganda.

"Democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where 51% of the people may take away the rights of the other 49%." - TJ
therein lies the problem...eventually you run out of other peoples money


Democracy works because the masses inherently are right 99% of the time. mob rule?? sure, if you don't have an education system that teaches the citizens how to read. you can't have a democracy without a literate population.

you take any random 1000 people and 99% of the time, they will chose the right path to a problem.

course, the Fascists believe that they are the one's with all the knowledge and wisdom. that is where they fail.

1000 minds will always defeat 20 minds.


You don't deal with the general public often do you?

/or watch "reality" TV shows
 
2012-11-13 11:08:37 AM

vegasj: amazing.

If liberals deport those who feel this current admin is doing a shiat job... who will be left to pay into the welfare system for the liberals to get their monthly checks?


You do realize that there are a lot of high earning liberals right? It's not just field workers and welfare queens in the left wing. Most of the people I know are liberals. They are also engineers. Engineers make more money than rednecks driving pickups pretending to work while they watch the Mexicans do the actual labor. Engineers make more than the monkeys they train to run around with hardhats and hammers at a job site who think they're smarter than the guy that designed the building they are assembling. Liberals have jobs. Good paying jobs. And it's the conservative states that are the welfare leaches in this country, getting back more in federal money than they pay in taxes.

Sorry if that burst your bubble about how you've decided the world is but that's reality.
 
2012-11-13 11:09:15 AM
I would sign that petition but there's no guarantee that people who sign the petition to deport those other people who signed that other petition won't be deported too.

i283.photobucket.com

Even the governor of Texas, Rick Perry says it's a terrible idea
 
2012-11-13 11:09:31 AM

Jon iz teh kewl: sorhed: Jon iz teh kewl: indarwinsshadow: Jon iz teh kewl: darwin

Thanks. But. You keep saying British. We're not British. Toronto is a like a cleaner version of Buffalo NY. Hell the border is like a big mish mash of our two countries now.

really a generic city is like another generic city. wow what with the big buildings, and grocery stores, etc..

It's more like Chicago, except with 50 murders a year instead of 500.You seriously cannot get murdered in Canada.

that's cause Canada is so friggin cold. Has basically nothing to do with politics


ok so it's 2 hours away, so temperature is not the problem. i'm guessing maybe the problem MIGHT be due to the vast number of immigrants coming in and out. your country is more or less homogenized.

ANYTHING BUT GUNS
U CAN NEVER TAKE OUR GUNS AWAY
 
2012-11-13 11:09:53 AM

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?


Just send em down to Rapture.
 
2012-11-13 11:12:07 AM

sodomizer: It's inevitable. The country is divided 50-50 for liberalism or conservatism.

I wonder on which side of that line most of us would like to live?


Except that in most of the developed world our "liberals" would be conservative and our conservatives would be considered fascists.

/think I'll move to Australia where a god fearing christian man is in charge and I can still own all the guns that god intended or something.
 
2012-11-13 11:14:37 AM
My favorite thing about these petitions is that they have revealed how many of my friends and family have no idea how to spell the word "secede."
 
2012-11-13 11:15:25 AM

heavymetal: Those on the left side of the ideological divide have a good choice of places to choose from with decent to good healthcare, solid infrastructure, and national stability like Canada or Sweden.


So long as you're rich and white.

The core of the Democratic party? Not so much.
 
2012-11-13 11:16:34 AM

Linux_Yes: boogie_down: sodomizer: It's inevitable. The country is divided 50-50 for liberalism or conservatism.

I wonder on which side of that line most of us would like to live?

50-50 for socialism or fascism would be more accurate.


Democratic Socialism is the term.




"Democratic socialism is a variant of socialism that rejects centralized, elitist or authoritarian means of transitioning from capitalism to socialism."


That doesn't sound like an accurate description. "Centralized, elitist and authoritarian" was basically the current administration's campaign slogan.
 
2012-11-13 11:18:13 AM

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


That's not the point. The goal is to openly mock these idiots for my entertainment and show that thier petitions mean nothing.
 
2012-11-13 11:18:52 AM

heavymetal: Rent Party: If we are trolling petitions, let's make them at least believable.

Rename portions of federal highways between Atlanta and Savannah the "William Tecumseh Sherman Memorial Highway"/a>

I am in tears laughing after reading that. I am doing my best not to disturb my co-workers. Masterful troll.


Sign it and SHARE!
 
2012-11-13 11:19:17 AM
I completely agree with the whole first amendment thing and took that into consideration even before signing the petition. I just want everybody who thought it was a cute idea to start a stupid secession petition to go "Wait... what?" when they read the petition that not only supported, but wished to expedite their secession.

Kind of a "So you want to leave? There are actually people totally willing to help you pack and feed your US Passport through the shredder for you." kinda thing.

I'm not a "AMURKAH! LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT YOU COMMIE PINKO!" kinda guy. I firmly believe that we need all walks of life to make this country work. But if you want to leave so badly that you want to actually secede, then don't let the door hit you on the way out.
 
2012-11-13 11:20:39 AM
God bless America!

I am going to Google a giant American flag and then I'm going to salute it.

And then I'm going to see if the designers of this petition site are smart enough to restrict voting to Americans. If they're not, I'm going to sign the petition. I wonder if I can amend it to exclude deportations to Canada? Hell, I'll throw in Mexico out of neighbourliness. Us NAFTA members have to stick together for the greater good of the Amero.
 
2012-11-13 11:21:42 AM
I can't be the first. Seriously?

F the south

Link 
(NSFW- Language)

/The big question should be, once you red-states secede, who will care for your people? Because us blue-staters pay for your lazy ignorant asses.
 
2012-11-13 11:22:00 AM
hoofin.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-11-13 11:22:14 AM
Alabama, Florida and Tennessee are getting close to the 25K mark as well now.
 
2012-11-13 11:23:02 AM

Rent Party: If we are trolling petitions, let's make them at least believable.

Rename portions of federal highways between Atlanta and Savannah the "William Tecumseh Sherman Memorial Highway"/a>


Holy crap, that would be hilarious. I still see stickers here in GA from right-wingers whining about the governor du jour not changing the flag.
 
2012-11-13 11:24:10 AM
Oh and Louisiana has made 25K. Two petitions that will get told STFU.
 
2012-11-13 11:25:14 AM

Jon iz teh kewl: well if a state leaves we can immediately add Pureto Rico cause it would be cheaper than printing new American flags


The ones made in China? Not even.
 
2012-11-13 11:25:14 AM

SilentStrider: PETITION

Damn IPad leyboard!


Eh, screw the whole thing.
 
2012-11-13 11:25:35 AM

heavymetal: Hunter_S_Thompson: h0lmesdaddy: Can someone look up a legal rationale for charging these guys with something and make a real petition to look into formal criminal charges?

So, this is what it's come to? There are actually a substantial number of people who are calling for others to be jailed simply because they are making political statements. Right here in the United States of America. No one else sees a problem with this? I'm really the only one?

I may not agree with what you have to say, but I'll fight to the death for your right to say it. To protect the freedom of speech, you have to protect even the most abhorrent speech. I thought that was universally known in this country. (Maybe just not on Fark...who knows)

And we protect scumbags like the Westboro Baptist Church, but we want to throw these guys under the bus? Please tell me most of you are just flexing keyboard muscles, and don't really believe, in your heart, that we should lock people up (or put them in work camps, or re-education camps, as has been suggested) because they have crazy political views.

Because if you really believe that, then you are going out of your way to prove these nutjobs right. A free country does NOT have re-education camps for dissenters, or imprison people for their political views. That is something else entirely.

Lighten up Francis. It is a joke, a "troll", and a way to show the "keyboard seccessionists" how silly they look. Well that or scare them depending how gullible they are.


I know it's trolling, on both sides, but a few commenters here seemed to actually be advocating imprisonment or re-education. If it's a troll, fine. But I can usually tell a troll when I see one, and these guys seemed serious. My WTF meter really pegged, but anyway, carry on.
 
2012-11-13 11:28:25 AM

pxlboy: Rent Party: If we are trolling petitions, let's make them at least believable.

Rename portions of federal highways between Atlanta and Savannah the "William Tecumseh Sherman Memorial Highway"/a>

Holy crap, that would be hilarious. I still see stickers here in GA from right-wingers whining about the governor du jour not changing the flag.


Another benefit: They'd use up all their ammunition shooting at the Sherman signs.
 
2012-11-13 11:29:39 AM
Like Lincoln's Plan To Deport All Negroes?

Or, General Grant's General Order 11 Link

"Governor, if I had foreseen the use those people designed to make of their victory, there would have been no surrender at Appomattox Courthouse; no sir, not by me. Had I foreseen these results of subjugation, I would have preferred to die at Appomattox with my brave men, my sword in this right hand."
General Robert E. Lee, August 1870 to Governor Stockdale of Texas

"The Northern onslaught upon slavery was no more than a piece of specious humbug designed to conceal its desire for economic control of the Southern states."
Charles Dickens, 1862

"I loved the old government in 1861. I loved the old Constitution yet. I think it is the best government in the world, if administered as it was before the war. I do not hate it; I am opposing now only the radical revolutionists who are trying to destroy it. I believe that party to be composed, as I know it is in Tennessee, of the worst men on Gods earth - men who would not hesitate at no crime, and who have only one object in view - to enrich themselves."
Nathan Bedford Forrest, in an interview shortly after the war

"Any society which suppresses the heritage of its conquered minorities, prevents their history or denies them their symbols, has sown the seeds of their own destruction."
Sir William Wallace, 1281

Honesty, plainly spoken - and all the more vile for it

"The Southern Confederacy will not employ our ships or buy our goods. What is our shipping without it? Literally nothing... it is very clear that the South gains by this process and we lose. No...we must not let the South go".
Union Democrat Manchester, New Hampshire. 19 February, 1861

And ... bone deep truth ...

"Had the cotton gin of Massachusetts inventor Eli Whitney not come on the scene in the late 1700's, African slavery in this country was most likely doomed. The antislavery and emancipation feeling in the South was ascendant, but thwarted by profitable slave-trading and hungry cotton mills in New England which gave rise to more plantations in the South, and the perpetuation of slavery. And after years of treating the American South as an agricultural colony, New England set out in 1861 to strip it of political power."
Bernhard Thuersam- Director Cape Fear Historical Institute NC.

Truth -

"When the South raised its sword against the Union's Flag, it was in defense of the Union's Constitution."
Confederate General John B. Gordon

And citizens of twenty seven states agree with the man who led the war on the nation's Constitution ...

"Any people, anywhere, being inclined and having the power, have the right to rise up and shake off the existing government, and form a new one that suits them better. This is a most valuable, a most sacred right, a right which we hope and believe is to liberate the world".
Abraham Lincoln - U.S. Congress, 1847

A little over 10 years later after the South attempted precisely that, Lincoln, when asked, "Why not let the South go in peace"? replied; "I can't let them go. Who would pay for the government"? "And, what then will become of my tariff"?
Abraham Lincoln to Virginia Compromise Delegation March 1861

Sign the Petition for your State, if you love the Constitution.

If you love lawlessness and rule by brute power, continue on as you are.
 
2012-11-13 11:34:52 AM

Krymson Tyde: Slaxl: All you need to do is designate one state "Republicanland", promise them their independence once all proponents of a Republican Jesus state have moved there. That way it's not in anyway a violation of free speech. It's people getting what they want. Just choose a state you can all be rid of happily, preferably one that is already majority Republican, to avoid the impact on Democrats who will have to move out.

Arizona would work well. We could finance moving everyone out who wants out since we'd ultimately be saving tons of money. Also we could admit Puerto Rico to return to 50 states.


Arizona is beginning a looooong slide to swing-state status, thanks to Hispanic demographics. Utah, on the other hand, shows no sign of changing in any meaningful way for probably another century. Especially if you leave out SLC.
 
2012-11-13 11:38:03 AM

Clemkadidlefark:

Herpaderp


I am enjoying the crying far, far more than I ever thought. Please proceed, Separatist.
 
2012-11-13 11:40:39 AM
I approve of this. For the LULz (RIP)
 
2012-11-13 11:40:49 AM
...aaand with one quarter left to go, it's all tied up in this epic clash between idiots and morons. We'll be back after thses messages...
 
2012-11-13 11:42:37 AM

Clemkadidlefark: Sign the Petition for your State, if you love the Constitution.

If you love lawlessness and rule by brute power, continue on as you are.


Golf clap.
 
2012-11-13 11:43:29 AM

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


What the Hell do you have all those overseas territories for? Guam, Guantanamo, Puerto Rico, Hawaii? Personally I would choose Alaska but it is not a proper isle, it is a peninsula of Canada. Let them experience global warming first hand since they're so big on denial. The Florida Keys are also a possibility. Lots of global warming and sea level rise to observe first hand there.

Just as long as it is a long swim back to Civilization I don't much care where they are exiled.

As for punishing them for signing a petition being a violation of their First Amendment rights, that never stopped them from violating the constitutional rights of everybody else with their Jim Crow voter suppression and such. I'm sure we could wing a treason charge for illegal succession. After all, the Supreme Court has already decided (1869) that Texas does NOT, contrary to urban legend, have the right to succede, and thus that the only way you can do this is winning a civil war or obtaining a Constitutional Amendment declaring the terms of a legal succession.

You have the right to rule of law. You do not have the right to pick and choose which laws you abide by. You have the right to vote. You do not have the right to ignore other people's votes.

To those who mutter about succession and the Second Revolution and civil disobedience if not civil uprising and war, I say this:

You lost fair and square despite all sorts of double dealing and crookiness on your part or your behalf. If the democratic majority decides on ostracism, ostracism is what you'll get.

Or have you conveniently misrembered the Japanese and German Internment camps? have you forgotten the Indian reservations even though they are still there? and just what did involuntary immigrants do to you that you would deny them the Universal Rights of Man and the rights of American citizenship, right down to the one who was just re-elected President despite widespread denial of his birth, citizenship, and right to be President?

Yep. Now is not the time to agitate for supposed rights that belong especially to you and not to everyone. The Majority is inexorably waking up. The suffrage has inexorably spread to every adult person who is not a felon (and to a lot of not quite adult people who are felons).

Stand against the tide of history and civilization if you must, but be prepared to step aside when politely asked, or else to do your standing behind a chickenwire fence. Chickenwire if you're lucky. The American people are patient, even of certain types of subversion by certain types of people, but they've proven to have limited patience with successionists in the past, and if you want to make it best two out of three, I can only hope they are ready for the re-match.
 
2012-11-13 11:43:30 AM
cwcrossroads.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-11-13 11:48:12 AM

brantgoose: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

What the Hell do you have all those overseas territories for? Guam, Guantanamo, Puerto Rico, Hawaii? Personally I would choose Alaska but it is not a proper isle, it is a peninsula of Canada. Let them experience global warming first hand since they're so big on denial. The Florida Keys are also a possibility. Lots of global warming and sea level rise to observe first hand there.

Just as long as it is a long swim back to Civilization I don't much care where they are exiled.

As for punishing them for signing a petition being a violation of their First Amendment rights, that never stopped them from violating the constitutional rights of everybody else with their Jim Crow voter suppression and such. I'm sure we could wing a treason charge for illegal succession. After all, the Supreme Court has already decided (1869) that Texas does NOT, contrary to urban legend, have the right to succede, and thus that the only way you can do this is winning a civil war or obtaining a Constitutional Amendment declaring the terms of a legal succession.

You have the right to rule of law. You do not have the right to pick and choose which laws you abide by. You have the right to vote. You do not have the right to ignore other people's votes.

To those who mutter about succession and the Second Revolution and civil disobedience if not civil uprising and war, I say this:

You lost fair and square despite all sorts of double dealing and crookiness on your part or your behalf. If the democratic majority decides on ostracism, ostracism is what you'll get.

Or have you conveniently misrembered the Japanese and German Internment camps? have you forgotten the Indian reservations even though they are still there? and just what did involuntary immigrants do to you that you would deny them the ...


A reminder of why I have you Farkied as 'sensible Farker'.
 
2012-11-13 11:52:52 AM

tenpoundsofcheese: so the left doesn't want to deport people who are in the country illegally, but does want to deport US citizens who exercise their constitutional rights.

that is all you need to know about the left.


Nobody wants to deport anybody, any more than anybody actually wants to secede.
This entire conversation, and the petitions, are horseshiat.
 
2012-11-13 11:53:03 AM

LittleSmitty: Arctic Phoenix: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

Guam? That's still in the US, but it's not a state.

Guam is already about to tip over. Add a bunch of Republicans and...

Wait, why am I arguing against this?


You have nothing better to do, like me?

/So it's unanimous, then! Guam!
 
2012-11-13 11:56:28 AM
No litmus test for Americanism. No litmus test for citizenship in any truly free country--not race, nationality, sex, age, religion, sexual orientation, class, income, education, language or place of origin.

No litmus test for entitlements either.

Your fat white Tea Bagger ass is no more deserving of Medicare than any other. So when you waddle out with your Patriot cosplay and your lawn chairs to demand the Gubbermint keep its hands of your social security or your Medicare, remember to smile, Pilgrim, and say OUR social security and OUR Medicare even though your relatively well-off white middle class conservatives are the biggest pigs with their heads in the trough.

Remember Grandpa, that there are plenty of people who want it, there are plenty of people who need it, and if anybody stands up to be counted in front of the trough, it should be those who need it most, not the Me Toos! who can't be arsed to pay for what they demand and get, let alone to provide for those who are in genuine need, namely the young, the wed and unwed young couples, the children, the rural and urban poor, the marginalized, and the just plain poor hardworking families who work their asses off at umpteen day and night jobs and still can't make ends meet!

Go yell at clouds!

Your fat white Christian ass is no more entitled to create an establishment of religion via the US Government or State governments or any government than any other fat-assed believer, be he or she a Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist or Animist.

Your fat white male ass still hasn't gotten around to equal pay for equal work after fifty or sixty years.

Your fat conservative ass is unreconstructed and unredeemed. You're too busy looking out for number one to be a real Christian or a real patriot or even a real Neighbor.
 
2012-11-13 11:57:09 AM

Clemkadidlefark: Like Lincoln's Plan To Deport All Negroes?

Or, General Grant's General Order 11 Link

"Governor, if I had foreseen the use those people designed to make of their victory, there would have been no surrender at Appomattox Courthouse; no sir, not by me. Had I foreseen these results of subjugation, I would have preferred to die at Appomattox with my brave men, my sword in this right hand."
General Robert E. Lee, August 1870 to Governor Stockdale of Texas

"The Northern onslaught upon slavery was no more than a piece of specious humbug designed to conceal its desire for economic control of the Southern states."
Charles Dickens, 1862

"I loved the old government in 1861. I loved the old Constitution yet. I think it is the best government in the world, if administered as it was before the war. I do not hate it; I am opposing now only the radical revolutionists who are trying to destroy it. I believe that party to be composed, as I know it is in Tennessee, of the worst men on Gods earth - men who would not hesitate at no crime, and who have only one object in view - to enrich themselves."
Nathan Bedford Forrest, in an interview shortly after the war

"Any society which suppresses the heritage of its conquered minorities, prevents their history or denies them their symbols, has sown the seeds of their own destruction."
Sir William Wallace, 1281

Honesty, plainly spoken - and all the more vile for it

"The Southern Confederacy will not employ our ships or buy our goods. What is our shipping without it? Literally nothing... it is very clear that the South gains by this process and we lose. No...we must not let the South go".
Union Democrat Manchester, New Hampshire. 19 February, 1861

And ... bone deep truth ...

"Had the cotton gin of Massachusetts inventor Eli Whitney not come on the scene in the late 1700's, African slavery in this country was most likely doomed. The antislavery and emancipation feeling in the South was ascendant, but thwarted by profitable slave-trading a ...


I like your style - you make me feel smart.
Keep saying things.
 
2012-11-13 11:58:52 AM

This text is now purple: heavymetal: Those on the left side of the ideological divide have a good choice of places to choose from with decent to good healthcare, solid infrastructure, and national stability like Canada or Sweden.

So long as you're rich and white.

The core of the Democratic party? Not so much.


Yeah, Toronto is pretty damn white:

Toronto is one of the world's most diverse cities by percentage of non-native-born residents, with about 49% of the population born outside Canada.

In 2006, people of European ethnicities formed the largest cluster of ethnic groups in Toronto, 52.6%,[67] mostly of British, Irish, Italian, and French origins. The five largest visible minority groups in Toronto are South Asian (12.0%), Chinese (11.4%), Black (8.4%), Filipino (4.1%) and Latin American (2.6%).[67] Aboriginal peoples, who are not considered visible minorities, formed 0.5% of the population.[67] This diversity is reflected in Toronto's ethnic neighbourhoods, which include Chinatown, Corso Italia, Greektown, Kensington Market, Koreatown, Little India, Little Italy, Little Jamaica, Little Portugal and Roncesvalles.
 
2012-11-13 12:02:17 PM
1) Declare all requesting states as sovereign nations
2) Deport all those that signed to their home country.

Everybody wins?
 
2012-11-13 12:02:28 PM

tenpoundsofcheese: so the left doesn't want to deport people who are in the country illegally, but does want to deport US citizens who exercise their constitutional rights.

that is all you need to know about the left.


Deportations of illegal immigrants have increased during Obama's presidency.
 
2012-11-13 12:06:38 PM
To everyone arguing about the real merits of this petition, just shut up and sign it.

Obviously the premise is silly. the whole point is that it would be fun to send a great big 100,000 person "Good...get the fark out" message to the thousands of dill holes who signed the secession petitions.

Just sign it... for the lulz
 
2012-11-13 12:08:27 PM

brantgoose: What the Hell do you have all those overseas territories for? Guam, Guantanamo, Puerto Rico, Hawaii? Personally I would choose Alaska but it is not a proper isle, it is a peninsula of Canada.


Can we just give them the parts that Sarah Palin can see Russia from? Those are islands.
 
2012-11-13 12:11:35 PM

bacongood: Would this include any idiot who put up one those "Bush isn't my president" signs?

Everyone needs to grow up; we picked from two different flavors of vanilla.


I thought it was chocolate and vanilla.

/That's racist.
 
2012-11-13 12:21:40 PM

doyner: Slaxl: I did not know signing an online petition was an armed and violent uprising.

The more you know


I'm not sure changing insurrection to sedition is acceptable.

Rent Party: Slaxl: sammyk: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

I did not know insurrection was protected speech under the 1st amendment.

I did not know signing an online petition was an armed and violent uprising.

It's not. It's more aptly called "sedition."


Shoulda said that first then, shouldn't he?
 
2012-11-13 12:29:35 PM
Every time I see General Sherman I think: Sam Vymes of the Watch.

Seriously. Apparently Pratchett had a British actor in mind, while one of the illustrators thought of Clint Eastwood, but for my money, Sherman is Sam Vymes incarnate: a rascally old drunk who's ready to take names and kick ass but hasn't got a note pad to write the names down on but is sure he'll remember them if he needs them.

Turns out he's a distant American cousin of mine through the Taylor family. Hey! I'm cousin to a Discworld character! Yaaaaay!

I'm also descended from the King of Hearts, but that is another story of fiction and fact overlapping in odd ways.
 
2012-11-13 12:32:02 PM
The Freepers seem to be on it already

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2958990/posts#comment
 
2012-11-13 12:37:56 PM
Looks like Texas is leading the secession petition war with 70,000+ signers.

The Feds have gotten out of the deportation business. They won't even deport drunk illegals that run over US citizens that aren't signing secession petitions.
 
2012-11-13 12:39:09 PM
I don't want to punish anyone for expressing their opinion. I want to allow them to leave. Is that so wrong?

;-)
 
2012-11-13 12:40:47 PM

LazarusLong42: Don Dokken: Oh, one more thing. As a fiscal conservative, foreign policy hawk who is socially progressive, I wish the Tea Party would just DIAF....now.

Wait, wait, wait. You think Obama is the worst President in modern history, despite him being a fiscal moderate, socially progressive, foreign policy hawk?

When the alternative was a socially regressive, fiscally irresponsible warmonger?


Fiscal moderate and foreign policy hawk? We obviously aren't talking about the same Obama.
 
2012-11-13 12:42:43 PM
Dear every farking idiot who can't spell,
It's spelled SECEDE.
There is no farking U.
And while I'm at it, LOOSE and LOSE are two different words.
kill yourself.
 
2012-11-13 12:52:56 PM
I think there should be some legal inquiry asking point blank:

Does a petition to secede from the Union constitute sedition? This should be a yes or no, even if qualifiers need to be established.

If that were the case, every person signing the petition should be informed that they have committed an act of sedition, explain fully what sedition means, and then offer them amnesty if they wish to renounce their claim to secession as they weren't fully informed of the consequence.

Also, if such a petition is deemed as sedition, the petition makers should be charged with it.

Perhaps, it won't be until the petition is actually delivered to the right authority that such a judgement is made.
 
2012-11-13 12:54:38 PM

Cubicle Jockey: Baz744: Sure. But people who report bad news or poorly aim a missile don't have any actual intent to harm the country. By contrast, secession petition signers have demonstrated an unambiguous intent to tear the country apart.


In 1947, in Haupt v. United States, the Supreme Court upheld his conviction for treason by stating that that his intent was immaterial. His actions in support of his spy son were what counted, and they were considered "Aid and Comfort".

"No matter whether young Haupt's mission was benign or traitorous, known or unknown to the defendant, these acts were aid and comfort to him."


It's a bit technical for Fark, but that's really a misreading of this case. I assure you an accused's subjective purpose--what you're calling "intent"--is not immaterial to a treason prosecution. The line you quoted comes from the Court's discussion of the "overt act" element to a treason prosecution. The Court there is directing focus away from the question of knowledge and purpose to more clearly examine the question of "aid or comfort."

First, use your common sense. This case is about a father who allowed his son to stay with him in the United States for six days, knowing that the son was a German saboteur on a mission to sabotage an American factory used to make war materials. If your reading of this quote is accurate, you're saying that the father's treason conviction would have stood whether or not he knew of his son's sabotage mission. You're saying that the United States Supreme Court said that a treason conviction can stand for conduct which in and of itself has a wholly innocent purpose. That doesn't make any sense. That's baloney.

But we need not rely solely on common sense, because in the full opinion the Court cites approvingly jury instructions to the effect that the defendant's subjective purpose was material:

It is urged that the conviction cannot be sustained because there is no sufficient proof of adherence to the enemy, the acts of aid and comfort being natural acts of aid for defendant's own son. Certainly that relationship is a fact for the jury to weigh along with others, and they were correctly instructed that if they found that defendant's intention was not to injure the United States but merely to aid his son "as an individual, as distinguished from assisting him in his purposes, if such existed, of aiding the German Reich, or of injuring the United States, the defendant must be found not guilty." The defendant can complain of no error in such a submission. It was for the jury to weigh the evidence that the acts proceeded from parental solicitude against the evidence of adherence to the German cause. It is argued that Haupt merely had 642*642 the misfortune to sire a traitor and all he did was to act as an indulgent father toward a disloyal son. In view however of the evidence of defendant's own statements that after the war he intended to return to Germany, that the United States was going to be defeated, that he would never permit his boy to join the American Army, that he would kill his son before he would send him to fight Germany, and others to the same effect, the jury apparently concluded that the son had the misfortune of being a chip off the old block - a tree inclined as the twig had been bent - metaphors which express the common sense observation that parents are as likely to influence the character of their children as are children to shape that of their parents. Such arguments are for the jury to decide.

Link

What's really telling about this instruction as it relates to subjective purpose is that it suggests that even though the father knew about the son's mission, but acted merely to provide him shelter from the elements rather than with any subjective purpose to harm the United States or assist its enemy, he couldn't be convicted of treason. On the contrary, to convict of treason, the jury had to find that the defendant's actual subjective purpose was to harm the United States or assist its enemy. 

Sorry, but this case absolutely stands for the proposition that what you call "intent" is material to a treason prosecution.
 
kgf
2012-11-13 12:56:08 PM
I'd rather see a petition to sell Texas to Mexico. Man, that would take care of a lot of problems.
 
2012-11-13 12:58:44 PM
What's really telling about this instruction as it relates to subjective purpose is that it suggests clearly states that even though the father knew about the son's mission, but if he nonetheless acted merely to provide him shelter from the elements rather than with any subjective purpose to harm the United States or assist its enemy, he couldn't be convicted of treason. On the contrary, to convict of treason, the jury had to find that the defendant's actual subjective purpose was to harm the United States or assist its enemy. 

Pardon me.
 
2012-11-13 01:02:01 PM

Don Dokken: LazarusLong42: Don Dokken: Oh, one more thing. As a fiscal conservative, foreign policy hawk who is socially progressive, I wish the Tea Party would just DIAF....now.

Wait, wait, wait. You think Obama is the worst President in modern history, despite him being a fiscal moderate, socially progressive, foreign policy hawk?

When the alternative was a socially regressive, fiscally irresponsible warmonger?

Fiscal moderate and foreign policy hawk? We obviously aren't talking about the same Obama.


That is correct. You are thinking about the Obama that exists only in your head, and is the libbiest lib that ever libbed on libday.

Out here in reality, we deal with the Obama that had four trillion dollars in spending cuts rebuffed by the GOP because it included a 4% increase on the top marginal rate, has killed bin Laden and Gaddafi, and uses Predator drones as his own personal armory.
 
2012-11-13 01:06:18 PM

99.998er: Dear Red States:

We're ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we've decided we're leaving.

We in New York intend to form our own country and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Colorado, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the Northeast.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A).

To sum up briefly:
You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.

You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia ...


What about us swing states? do we vote each year and attach to whichever country we voted for?
 
2012-11-13 01:09:22 PM

tenpoundsofcheese: so the left doesn't want to deport people who are in the country illegally, but does want to deport US citizens who exercise their constitutional rights.

that is all you need to know about the left.


I'm breaking a rule and replying to a troll, but wtf.

The illegals want to be here. Your kind does not. It actually sounds like a pretty goddamned good trade to me.
 
2012-11-13 01:10:19 PM

xanadian: PC LOAD LETTER: Krymson Tyde: Arizona would work well.

Southern Arizona. Northern AZ is farking beautiful.

You obviously have never seen Mt. Lemmon or the area near the Mexico border.

...

For that matter, there's little of Arizona that's ugly. Maybe the very southwestern part. And Phoenix. Phoenix is the taint of America.


Mt. Lemmon? Ick, no. I'd say Camelback is a nicer looking mountain, and it's in - gasp - Phoenix! The Tucson - Nogales corridor, despite being one of the saner parts of the state, is a complete garbage dump.

Solution: move everyone there to the much nicer areas to the north (Phoenix, yes, but especially Flagstaff) and leave Pinal County on south to the angry racist retirees and derpy meth heads that populate Sun City and Mesa. Hell, throw the tax-cheat stockbrokers and bond traders from Scottsdale down there with 'em.
 
2012-11-13 01:14:37 PM

heavymetal: If you really want to get the conspiracy theorists to go full derp, create a petition to send all the people who signed a secession petition to be sent to a FEMA Camp. That would be too funny.


That's so Metal!
 
2012-11-13 01:15:06 PM

CeroX: 99.998er: Dear Red States:

We're ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we've decided we're leaving.

We in New York intend to form our own country and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Colorado, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the Northeast.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A).

To sum up briefly:
You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.

You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University ...


Also, Louisville, KY should be considered part of the blue states. It goes blue every election, and the rest of Kentucky doesn't really claim us anyways. But we will not be part of Indiana. dirty hoosiers.
 
2012-11-13 01:20:53 PM

StreetlightInTheGhetto: This text is now purple: heavymetal: Those on the left side of the ideological divide have a good choice of places to choose from with decent to good healthcare, solid infrastructure, and national stability like Canada or Sweden.

So long as you're rich and white.

The core of the Democratic party? Not so much.

Yeah, Toronto is pretty damn white:

Toronto is one of the world's most diverse cities by percentage of non-native-born residents, with about 49% of the population born outside Canada.


There are more blacks in Detroit than in Canada.
 
2012-11-13 01:25:11 PM

JohnnyApocalypse: I think there should be some legal inquiry asking point blank:

Does a petition to secede from the Union constitute sedition? This should be a yes or no, even if qualifiers need to be established.


No. You have the right to petition your government for grievances.
 
2012-11-13 01:28:22 PM
Puerto Rico has the right to secede. They just had another vote on it this year.

So, clearly, we need all the Derpers to go to Puerto Rico, and bring all the Puerto Ricans to Texas, Louisiana, etc. Then the Derpers can declare independence and we can all wave them goodbye.

Seems like one of those win-win-win-win-win situations to me!
 
2012-11-13 01:32:37 PM

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


1) If they don't like elected government, send them to some place without one. So give them a list of places without an elected government.

2) Eh, first amendment rights are not absolute. You can't yell fire in a crowded theater. To that list add "you can't be a dipshiat demanding secession after your side lost an election." I'm okay with it.

/its a joke, lighten up a little
 
2012-11-13 01:34:39 PM

Pants full of macaroni!!: vegasj: amazing.

If liberals deport those who feel this current admin is doing a shiat job... who will be left to pay into the welfare system for the liberals to get their monthly checks?

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A LIBERAL WITH A JOB



our President gets a check .. just sayin' :)
 
2012-11-13 01:35:50 PM
My follow Americans, these are hard times for those who run away from problems. A minority called Secessionist make demands upon the majority. They say "they want to run away from their problems". They say America is weaker cause of it's current leadership. They say the electoral system is broken because it doesn't support their agenda. They say their sh*t doesn't stink. Well it does.

America is about making mistakes and fixing them. America is about drinking cheap liquor and driving pickups. America is about making sh*t and buying sh*t. America is a "can do" society.

I say to the Secessionist, "I do you harm when I call you unamerican". If you want to make America better than find a better candidate. You want better laws? Fark that! Enforce the laws we already have. You want freebees and federal swag then by all means write federal grants.

All I ask of my Secessionist friends is stop being bat-arse crazy and learn to tolerate our differences. Cause one day your sh*t is going to break down. One of "us" Americans is going to fix it.
 
2012-11-13 01:36:49 PM

This text is now purple: JohnnyApocalypse: I think there should be some legal inquiry asking point blank:

Does a petition to secede from the Union constitute sedition? This should be a yes or no, even if qualifiers need to be established.

No. You have the right to petition your government for grievances.


Secession is not a petition for grievances. The courts provide that avenue.

This is secession, pure and simple.
 
2012-11-13 01:51:15 PM

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


1) They've deported people born in the US before. Not sure exactly how it works, but it's happened.

2) Fark 'em. First off, they're rebelling against America. Secondly, they're a bunch of babies who need to wake up and face reality. Besides, this isn't going to come to pass anyway.

Personally, I say let 'em secede though, they'll be in for a rude awakening once the "mean" federal government stops repairing their roads, partially finding their hospitals, schools, universities, etc. I say put a big farking wall upp around each of these states for 10 years, and let them decide at the end if they want to stay separated. For that 5 years, anyone moving out of those states has to proceed as if they are immigrating to the US, and will have to undergo the same wait as everyone else petitioning for US citizenship. If nothing else, when the 10 years are over, and these farjheads come crawling back, maybe we'll get some immigration reform out of it.
 
2012-11-13 01:56:03 PM

PC LOAD LETTER: Krymson Tyde: Arizona would work well.

Southern Arizona. Northern AZ is farking beautiful.


Yeah, but also don't let tem trample on places down near the border. Bisbee is an awesome place as well. They can have everything from the bottom of the Mogollon Rim, to about 40 miles from the border in the eastern part of the state. For a Mexican border, give them everything from Nogales to Yuma.
 
2012-11-13 01:59:48 PM

xanadian: PC LOAD LETTER: Krymson Tyde: Arizona would work well.

Southern Arizona. Northern AZ is farking beautiful.

You obviously have never seen Mt. Lemmon or the area near the Mexico border.

...

For that matter, there's little of Arizona that's ugly. Maybe the very southwestern part. And Phoenix. Phoenix is the taint of America.


Have you actually gone out in the desert and looked? Sure, it looks nice from the road, but when you're out in a spot that is nothing but bare blasted earth with creosote bushes, palo verdes, cacti, and mesquite, and nothing else, it's pretty shiatty. The ground is barren, it's not like there's even grass, just dead empty soil and a bush of the aforementioned variety every 15 feet or so. I've found a few 'Come to God' spots in the desert, but after living in that desert 17 years, and 5 more in Flag, I was done. Nutty politics or not, at least the rivers in Utah have water in them, and things turn green here.
 
2012-11-13 02:01:13 PM

Arctic Phoenix: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

Guam? That's still in the US, but it's not a state.


They better not tip the island over. That would be a total clusterfark.
 
2012-11-13 02:03:47 PM

Slaxl: sammyk: Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.

I did not know insurrection was protected speech under the 1st amendment.

I did not know signing an online petition was an armed and violent uprising.


Signing a petition to secede from your nation is though.
 
2012-11-13 02:04:24 PM

Joe Blowme: Cant kick them all out, who will pay for all your programs?


Got that backwards dumbass.
You farks are the ones we're paying for.
 
2012-11-13 02:07:22 PM

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Isn't a petition pretty much a strongly-worded letter?


No, it's the first step in the legal process of getting something done through legislation. It's how people get on the ballot for election, and how bills get introduced. It's a legal document.
 
2012-11-13 02:09:30 PM

Leopold Stotch: Stupidity is not treason.

"Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. " Asking if you can leave, while futile, is not treason.

Link


Not any more than protesting the Iraq war was. These are petty much the same farkheads who screamed that it was an act of treason to protest the war. What's good for the goose is good for the gander, I say.
 
2012-11-13 02:22:41 PM

m2313: Joe Blowme: Cant kick them all out, who will pay for all your programs?

Got that backwards dumbass.
You farks are the ones we're paying for.


reading comprehension.... how does it work? FAIR SHARE!!!!
 
2012-11-13 02:29:46 PM
The very first one we need to deport is Obama. He's an illegal and a fraud. And he just doesn't smell too good, either.
 
2012-11-13 02:37:01 PM

Rent Party: Don Dokken: LazarusLong42: Don Dokken: Oh, one more thing. As a fiscal conservative, foreign policy hawk who is socially progressive, I wish the Tea Party would just DIAF....now.

Wait, wait, wait. You think Obama is the worst President in modern history, despite him being a fiscal moderate, socially progressive, foreign policy hawk?

When the alternative was a socially regressive, fiscally irresponsible warmonger?

Fiscal moderate and foreign policy hawk? We obviously aren't talking about the same Obama.

That is correct. You are thinking about the Obama that exists only in your head, and is the libbiest lib that ever libbed on libday.

Out here in reality, we deal with the Obama that had four trillion dollars in spending cuts rebuffed by the GOP because it included a 4% increase on the top marginal rate, has killed bin Laden and Gaddafi, and uses Predator drones as his own personal armory.


Hey now, that other Obama isn't just in his head. He's in a lot if other people's heads too. He even went ti the Republican Convention to debate Clint Eastwood.
 
2012-11-13 02:43:47 PM

Smelly McUgly: xanadian: PC LOAD LETTER: Krymson Tyde: Arizona would work well.

Southern Arizona. Northern AZ is farking beautiful.

You obviously have never seen Mt. Lemmon or the area near the Mexico border.

...

For that matter, there's little of Arizona that's ugly. Maybe the very southwestern part. And Phoenix. Phoenix is the taint of America.

Mt. Lemmon? Ick, no. I'd say Camelback is a nicer looking mountain, and it's in - gasp - Phoenix! The Tucson - Nogales corridor, despite being one of the saner parts of the state, is a complete garbage dump.

Solution: move everyone there to the much nicer areas to the north (Phoenix, yes, but especially Flagstaff) and leave Pinal County on south to the angry racist retirees and derpy meth heads that populate Sun City and Mesa. Hell, throw the tax-cheat stockbrokers and bond traders from Scottsdale down there with 'em.


Nobody can afford to live in Flag as it stands, I don't know how this would make it any more affordable.
 
2012-11-13 03:02:15 PM
California also has a petition to secede. Guess the secessionists get to bask in the sun in Florida and on the left coast.
 
2012-11-13 03:08:07 PM
Texas secession petition beating all other petitions. In second place - election recount, which is barely beating out marijuana legalization, which is barely beating the outlawing of offensive religious prophets.
 
2012-11-13 03:29:44 PM

99.998er: Dear Red States:

We're ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we've decided we're leaving.

We in New York intend to form our own country and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Colorado, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the Northeast.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A).

To sum up briefly:
You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.

You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia ...


Can we throw in all the Democrats for free? Where do I sign up?
 
2012-11-13 03:31:04 PM

imtheonlylp: 99.998er: Dear Red States:

We're ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we've decided we're leaving.

We in New York intend to form our own country and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Colorado, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the Northeast.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A).

To sum up briefly:
You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.

You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University ...


Getting rid of the democrats and republicans all at once? I'm in.
 
2012-11-13 03:31:37 PM

99.998er: Dear Red States:

We're ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we've decided we're leaving.

We in New York intend to form our own country and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Colorado, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the Northeast.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A).

To sum up briefly:
You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.

You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia ...


This is like trading Garbage Pail Kid cards...no matter what you get, it's still not worth a shiat.
 
2012-11-13 04:49:52 PM

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


But they said they wanted to go.
 
2012-11-13 05:02:13 PM

Joe Blowme: m2313: Joe Blowme: Cant kick them all out, who will pay for all your programs?

Got that backwards dumbass.
You farks are the ones we're paying for.

reading comprehension.... how does it work? FAIR SHARE!!!!


lolwut? So you're crazy even outside of threads where you're spreading racist anti-muslim shiat too. whodafigured
 
2012-11-13 06:59:27 PM

vegasj: amazing.

If liberals deport those who feel this current admin is doing a shiat job... who will be left to pay into the welfare system for the liberals to get their monthly checks?


This is what conservatives actually believe. Never mind what mooching takers the teabaggers actually are.
 
2012-11-13 07:23:55 PM
i28.photobucket.com
 
KIA
2012-11-13 07:36:11 PM

99.998er: With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.


Good luck with all that and no protien-based foodstuff, no petrochemicals or plastics and no warriors to defend you.
 
2012-11-13 09:58:04 PM
What happens to people like me who went through and signed every single one of the petitions many times over on different accounts?
 
2012-11-13 10:29:47 PM

vernonFL: When the Founding Fathers created the right to petition the government, I don't think they envisioned internet trolls.


Who do you think you are to interpret what "they meant"? Clearly they must have anticipated world class trolls, and set up a free-troll market to sort itself out.
 
2012-11-14 07:07:43 AM

Bathia_Mapes: 1) Assuming that the signees were born and raised in the U.S., where are they to be deported?

2) Punishing them for signing a petition would be a violation of their First Amendment rights.


China. They can build Apple products and have the government they've longed for.
 
2012-11-14 07:33:16 AM

Mrbogey: power is becoming more concentrated under the liberals.


What liberals?
The conservative party whose president is in charge or the fascists who control the House?
 
2012-11-14 08:13:13 AM

vernonFL: When the Founding Fathers created the right to petition the government, I don't think they envisioned internet trolls.


They probably didn't envision the Internet, but to say that people who lived in Jonathan Swift's time and general culture didn't envision trolling is perhaps a bit of a stretch. The name and form were different, of course, but the principle was pretty much the same.
 
2012-11-16 04:29:19 PM

smittyg: What happens to people like me who went through and signed every single one of the petitions many times over on different accounts?


Do you really have multiple accounts? Will you sign my petition to Shut down White House petitions, since they never get a sincere response, few read them, & they are ultimately worthless? It only needs 15 more signatures and they'll publish it.
 
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