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(Gawker)   The David Petraeus love triangle just became a love rectangle   (gawker.com) divider line 151
    More: Followup, Petraeus, Petraeus love triangle, love rectangle, The Daily Beast  
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11472 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Nov 2012 at 2:53 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



151 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-11-12 11:53:41 PM
Well, I can see why he stepped down. This whole thing is a soap opera.
 
2012-11-12 11:57:23 PM
Why can't there ever be a Matthew McConaughey love polygon, or a Channing Tatum love scandal? Or even better... a Nathan Fillion hot and sloppy 'til the cops arrive scandal.

I don't want to hear about an old government hack getting freaky. It just ruins my desire to ever have sex again.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-11-13 12:00:32 AM
Jill Kelley has an identical twin, so make that a love pentagon. How appropriate. I want to believe he was doing both twins and they were both secret agents. It's looking like Jill may have been.
 
2012-11-13 12:01:17 AM
All that's missing is the KGB and a polonium poisoning.
 
2012-11-13 12:02:10 AM
"Love rectangle" sounds very uncomfortable

/on a number of levels
 
2012-11-13 12:02:38 AM
From the Daily Beast article linked in TFA:

Her father told the New York Daily News that there is "a lot more here than meets the eye," though he declined say what that might be.


SHE'S A TRANSFORMER!
 
2012-11-13 12:05:01 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: "Love rectangle" sounds very uncomfortable

/on a number of levels


She took it in the pooper? oh..
 
2012-11-13 12:07:30 AM
I'm holding out for a pentagon.
 
2012-11-13 12:08:03 AM

GGracie: Why can't there ever be a Matthew McConaughey love polygon, or a Channing Tatum love scandal? Or even better... a Nathan Fillion hot and sloppy 'til the cops arrive scandal.

I don't want to hear about an old government hack getting freaky. It just ruins my desire to ever have sex again.


Just picture it in black and white. Then it's not old and creepy, it's Mad Men retro and cool.

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-11-13 12:10:02 AM

rynthetyn: Well, I can see why he stepped down


Gangnam style?
 
2012-11-13 12:10:24 AM

rynthetyn: Well, I can see why he stepped down. This whole thing is a soap opera.


FBI is searching the Broadwell home. If they come up with a cum-stained dress, THEN I'll agree he should have stepped down.
 
2012-11-13 12:17:52 AM
static6.businessinsider.com
4.bp.blogspot.com


mmm
 
2012-11-13 12:18:59 AM
This is just another way Obama is destroying the fabric of the American family. Obama plans to create a new cabinet post and appoint Petraeus as the Secretary of Swinging.
 
2012-11-13 12:24:30 AM

propasaurus: [static6.businessinsider.com image 400x300]
[4.bp.blogspot.com image 375x563]


mmm


Rashida Jones also strikes me as a woman with a great sense of humor and she's a Farkette. The girlfriend seems way too uptight.
 
2012-11-13 12:25:35 AM
static1.businessinsider.com
www.nbc.com

This TV movie practically casts itself.
 
2012-11-13 12:29:18 AM
So they're all Republicans?
 
2012-11-13 12:29:39 AM
Goatse is as goatse does.
 
2012-11-13 12:34:47 AM
This is exactly why the CIA should only hire ugly people.
 
2012-11-13 12:37:45 AM
Jill Kelly?
a2.ec-images.myspacecdn.com
 
2012-11-13 12:41:08 AM
If he couldn't keep this shiat quiet, then he didn't deserve to be head of the CIA.

That's why he quit, right?
 
2012-11-13 12:48:34 AM

shower_in_my_socks: That's why he quit, right?


Yep. One would expect the head of THE FARKING CIA to make better decisions.
 
2012-11-13 12:51:52 AM
Now all we need is Bill Clinton, a pair of jumper cables and a three-day weekend in Vegas for this story to become officially awesome.
 
2012-11-13 12:54:54 AM

Marcus Aurelius: I'm holding out for a pentagon.


At this rate, you'll probably want to cash in that bet on the early AM news.

I gotta be honest, I am really a bit surprised. This guy was one of the very few that almost nobody had a negative opinion about.
 
2012-11-13 01:10:19 AM
The AP is reporting that the Pentagon investigating top commander in Afghanistan for emails to woman in Petraeus scandal.

But that's pretty much the extent of that story as of right now, just that one sentence.
 
2012-11-13 01:13:31 AM
My guess is that as reported, there was no affair between Petraeus and Kelley.

If there had been an affair, then Kelley would have mentioned the emails to him and not to the FBI. Since she didn't know they were about the general, she went to the FBI.
 
2012-11-13 01:22:35 AM

propasaurus: The AP is reporting that the Pentagon investigating top commander in Afghanistan for emails to woman in Petraeus scandal.

But that's pretty much the extent of that story as of right now, just that one sentence.


Maybe the love rectangle is a love pentagon.
 
2012-11-13 01:32:51 AM
As somebody on twitter said, and the Right thought it was gay sex that was going to hurt the US military...
 
2012-11-13 02:22:36 AM

Mentat: Now all we need is Bill Clinton, a pair of jumper cables and a three-day weekend in Vegas for this story to become officially awesome.


Add in a firetruck and a hand grenade, and it goes Super Awesome.

www.google.ca
 
2012-11-13 02:33:24 AM
Arrogance is worse than stupidity.
 
2012-11-13 02:34:40 AM
If you count his wife in there, this thing has gone PENTAGON
 
2012-11-13 02:51:20 AM
I was told there'd be no geometry.
 
2012-11-13 02:54:22 AM
There's never any love for the rhombus.
 
2012-11-13 02:55:18 AM

unyon: If you count his wife in there, this thing has gone PENTAGON


No one is going to count his wife in there.
 
2012-11-13 02:59:57 AM

dudemanbro: shower_in_my_socks: That's why he quit, right?

Yep. One would expect the head of THE FARKING CIA to make better decisions.


If I said it once I've said it a thousand times...

If you want to let it out of the basement put a ring on it.
 
2012-11-13 03:00:35 AM

GGracie: Why can't there ever be a Matthew McConaughey love polygon, or a Channing Tatum love scandal? Or even better... a Nathan Fillion hot and sloppy 'til the cops arrive scandal.

I don't want to hear about an old government hack getting freaky. It just ruins my desire to ever have sex again.


Petraeus doesn't look that bad. And the two women I've seen were hot. I can fap to that.
 
2012-11-13 03:00:43 AM
farking ridiculous. places i've worked there was more married people cheating than being faithful. most people have little morality, that's all.
 
2012-11-13 03:01:36 AM
Didn't the B52's do a song about this?
 
2012-11-13 03:01:54 AM
Do middle-aged, professional people really behave like this? It's like Les Liaisons Dangereux for spastics.
 
2012-11-13 03:03:12 AM
What's the FBI looking for at her house?

OOH! Wait! Her house is in Charlotte. That's where the DNC was held this year. Did Obama pay her a visit at home while he was in town?
 
2012-11-13 03:06:14 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: "Love rectangle" sounds very uncomfortable

/on a number of levels


While "love cylinder" and "love torus" just sound geeky.
 
2012-11-13 03:07:18 AM

Irving Maimway: propasaurus: [static6.businessinsider.com image 400x300]
[4.bp.blogspot.com image 375x563]


mmm

Rashida Jones also strikes me as a woman with a great sense of humor and she's a Farkette. The girlfriend seems way too uptight.


Rashida Jones is hawt.

Wait.... She is a what now?...?
 
2012-11-13 03:07:59 AM
i29.photobucket.com
+
i29.photobucket.com
=
i29.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-13 03:11:38 AM

shower_in_my_socks: If he couldn't keep this shiat quiet, then he didn't deserve to be head of the CIA.

That's why he quit, right?


The real issue here is the catty BS between Kelly and Broadwell. He would have gotten away with it if it weren't for whatever b*tchfest they have going on.
Hey, how much of our tax money is being spent on this anyhow?
 
2012-11-13 03:12:06 AM

MrEricSir: Didn't the B52's do a song about this?


No, you're thinking of Fred Schneider's solo album.
 
2012-11-13 03:12:17 AM
i29.photobucket.com
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-11-13 03:14:51 AM
Ah, still ragging on the good general? Well, at least he's not a hypocrite having butsects with all them queer soldiers and sailors the nObummer let in the military. What good is a lifetime in the miltray if you can't dock your ship in as many ports as you possibly can. At least we can thank Allah for that fact. Praise Buddah
 
2012-11-13 03:15:27 AM
So that's where Agent Mulder ended up.
/Love polygon
 
2012-11-13 03:16:48 AM
Oh, and it gets even more messed up: Link
 
2012-11-13 03:19:33 AM
Thank God more women turned up. This was getting way too much hype for a simple cheating scandal.
 
2012-11-13 03:20:20 AM
News now reporting the top U.S. general in Afghanistan, John Allen, is being investigated for inappropriate emails to Kelley. So it's pretty clear "unpaid social liaison" translates to "slut for anyone over 2-stars".
 
2012-11-13 03:21:48 AM
So if I am reading this correctly:

Crazy got jealous of a 7 year olds on-line photo op with the general and assumed the man she was cheating with was cheating with the kids Mom so she sent harrassing e-mails to get Mom to back off. As this particular lady didn't seem to be involved with the General she naturally contacted LEO which happened to be her "friend" in the FBI who after getting the ball rolling promptly stomped on said ball and sent his own harrassing e-mail to this lady.

General resigns in disgrace because he stuck it to the crazy. Got it.
 
2012-11-13 03:22:32 AM

Marcus Aurelius: I'm holding out for a pentagon.


Or a 5-sided fistagon?

eewwwwww
 
2012-11-13 03:22:51 AM
Seriously... what the fark did I just read?

Does anyone have a map to all this??
 
2012-11-13 03:24:41 AM

Aulus: Oh, and it gets even more messed up: Link


How the heck do you even send 20-30 THOUSAND pages of emails to one person? Were these idiots emailing classified information to their mistresses?
 
2012-11-13 03:25:33 AM

TwistedFark: Seriously... what the fark did I just read?

Does anyone have a map to all this??


I am here-------->x

X
and you -------->x
in this case it sux to be the story line.
 
2012-11-13 03:27:22 AM

yousaywut: So if I am reading this correctly:

Crazy got jealous of a 7 year olds on-line photo op with the general and assumed the man she was cheating with was cheating with the kids Mom so she sent harrassing e-mails to get Mom to back off. As this particular lady didn't seem to be involved with the General she naturally contacted LEO which happened to be her "friend" in the FBI who after getting the ball rolling promptly stomped on said ball and sent his own harrassing e-mail to this lady.

General resigns in disgrace because he stuck it to the crazy. Got it.


But it seems that this particular lady, while not banging Petraeus, may well be having some sort of affair with the current commander in Afghanistan.

Seriously, this is like the most batshiat insane soap opera plot. They're lucky it didn't end up with major national security consequences, assuming that it didn't, that is.
 
2012-11-13 03:27:25 AM
Need to get rid of a real scandal? Give 'em a sex scandal instead.
 
2012-11-13 03:27:29 AM

yousaywut: TwistedFark: Seriously... what the fark did I just read?

Does anyone have a map to all this??

I am here-------->x

X
and you -------->x
in this case it sux to be the story line.


damn html messed up all my arrowing
there is a story in the middle of that and you without a map aaaaf forget it. no map available yet
 
2012-11-13 03:27:50 AM

Aulus: Oh, and it gets even more messed up: Link


Can someone start on a diagram or flowchart for all this?
 
2012-11-13 03:28:45 AM

Aulus: Oh, and it gets even more messed up: Link


NOW it's a love Pentagon
 
2012-11-13 03:30:11 AM

heinrich66: Need to get rid of a real scandal? Give 'em a sex scandal instead.


Keep trying, Milhouse.
 
2012-11-13 03:30:24 AM
giggity
 
2012-11-13 03:30:45 AM

GGracie: Why can't there ever be a Matthew McConaughey love polygon, or a Channing Tatum love scandal? Or even better... a Nathan Fillion hot and sloppy 'til the cops arrive scandal.

I don't want to hear about an old government hack getting freaky. It just ruins my desire to ever have sex again.


I'm in.
 
2012-11-13 03:30:55 AM

rynthetyn: yousaywut: So if I am reading this correctly:

Crazy got jealous of a 7 year olds on-line photo op with the general and assumed the man she was cheating with was cheating with the kids Mom so she sent harrassing e-mails to get Mom to back off. As this particular lady didn't seem to be involved with the General she naturally contacted LEO which happened to be her "friend" in the FBI who after getting the ball rolling promptly stomped on said ball and sent his own harrassing e-mail to this lady.

General resigns in disgrace because he stuck it to the crazy. Got it.

But it seems that this particular lady, while not banging Petraeus, may well be having some sort of affair with the current commander in Afghanistan.

Seriously, this is like the most batshiat insane soap opera plot. They're lucky it didn't end up with major national security consequences, assuming that it didn't, that is.


I am thinking that may actually be a fairly large assumption. Why would this kelley be in contact with and presumably friendly with both the current and previous afghan commander.

I don't know if I am as willing to believe that she wasn't intimate with patreus based on new information.

/Honey trap anyone?
 
2012-11-13 03:31:13 AM

heinrich66: Need to get rid of a real scandal? Give 'em a sex scandal instead.


Who cares about national security; somebody's cheating on their spouse.
Diversionary tactics and such.
 
2012-11-13 03:31:59 AM

AbbeySomeone: Aulus: Oh, and it gets even more messed up: Link

Can someone start on a diagram or flowchart for all this?


upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-11-13 03:37:16 AM

TwistedFark: Seriously... what the fark did I just read?

Does anyone have a map to all this??


britton.disted.camosun.bc.ca

www.ucl.ac.uk

forthebored.files.wordpress.com 

mathworld.wolfram.com

2.bp.blogspot.com 

i.imgur.com
 
2012-11-13 03:38:35 AM

Aulus: Oh, and it gets even more messed up: Link


i151.photobucket.com

Now Gen Allen's appointment as SACEUR is on hold.

I'd better start deleting all my Facebook discussions between Admiral Greenert and Lindsay Lohan.
 
2012-11-13 03:41:59 AM

yousaywut: rynthetyn: yousaywut: So if I am reading this correctly:

Crazy got jealous of a 7 year olds on-line photo op with the general and assumed the man she was cheating with was cheating with the kids Mom so she sent harrassing e-mails to get Mom to back off. As this particular lady didn't seem to be involved with the General she naturally contacted LEO which happened to be her "friend" in the FBI who after getting the ball rolling promptly stomped on said ball and sent his own harrassing e-mail to this lady.

General resigns in disgrace because he stuck it to the crazy. Got it.

But it seems that this particular lady, while not banging Petraeus, may well be having some sort of affair with the current commander in Afghanistan.

Seriously, this is like the most batshiat insane soap opera plot. They're lucky it didn't end up with major national security consequences, assuming that it didn't, that is.

I am thinking that may actually be a fairly large assumption. Why would this kelley be in contact with and presumably friendly with both the current and previous afghan commander.

I don't know if I am as willing to believe that she wasn't intimate with patreus based on new information.

/Honey trap anyone?


The thing is, if she's a honey trap, she's the world's stupidest one.

I'm not really all that surprised that she'd know both the current and past Afghan commander because if she's somebody with money and influence in Tampa who's involved in military circles, I don't think it's that strange that she'd know multiple power players out of CENTCOM. That they all seem so ready and willing to get intimate with her is really disconcerting as far as national security goes though.

I'm starting to believe the theory that the reason the GOP was hammering Benghazi so much was because one of these chicks was leaking stuff that they shouldn't have known.
 
2012-11-13 03:42:00 AM
The Pentagon of Passion
Starring David Penatratus
 
2012-11-13 03:46:49 AM
propasaurus: The AP is reporting that the Pentagon investigating top commander in Afghanistan for emails to woman in Petraeus scandal

Statement by the Secretary of Defense on General John Allen
 
2012-11-13 03:51:02 AM
Now we know why Obama did so poorly on the first debate. This just hit his desk that day
 
2012-11-13 03:51:36 AM

rynthetyn: yousaywut: rynthetyn: yousaywut:
The thing is, if she's a honey trap, she's the world's stupidest one.

I'm not really all that surprised that she'd know both the current and past Afghan commander because if she's somebody with money and influence in Tampa who's involved in military circles, I don't think it's that strange that she'd know multiple power players out of CENTCOM. That they all seem so ready and willing to get intimate with her is really disconcerting as far as national security goes though.

I'm starting to believe the theory that the reason the GOP was hammering Benghazi so much was because one of these chicks was leaking stuff that they shouldn't have known.


Heard on the radio that Paula Broadwell was giving a lecture on some college campus and was actually saying things she probably shouldn't have known about that apparantly didn't really click with the audiance until this scandal broke. So there is that on one side and Jill kelley possibly boffing both Him and the current Afghan Commander with his proclivity for spillage of info (not necessarily national security level but still) already in question and now another other woman.

OK so I have no proof and am just following behind the story but this could get ugly before it gets all Porno'd.
 
2012-11-13 03:53:32 AM
KGB/FSB Honey Pot Operation
 
2012-11-13 03:54:08 AM
But I've said too much
 
2012-11-13 04:02:57 AM
Pentagon?

This story is gonna go on so long that Upper Deck will be offering trading cards.
 
2012-11-13 04:03:55 AM
The Real Housewives of the Pentagon
 
2012-11-13 04:08:41 AM

zerkalo: But I've said too much


Is that you in the corner?
 
2012-11-13 04:10:00 AM
quadrilateral, not a rectangle. could be a trapezoid for all we know.
 
2012-11-13 04:13:00 AM
This one random woman was threatened by the CIA Director's paramour, stalked by an FBI agent, AND was dirty talking the General in charge on the ground in Afghamistan?

This will definitely be a movie. I'm thinking Nicole Kidman or Naomi Watts for Kelley...
 
2012-11-13 04:17:35 AM

Hots_Kebabs: propasaurus: The AP is reporting that the Pentagon investigating top commander in Afghanistan for emails to woman in Petraeus scandal

Statement by the Secretary of Defense on General John Allen


So broadwell farked 2 high level General careers by being crazy jealous of kelley. Yay for tig ole bitties.
 
2012-11-13 04:21:02 AM

MurphyMurphy: [i29.photobucket.com image 250x250]
[1.bp.blogspot.com image 250x200]


Wiping the beer from my keyboard right now...

/ so cruel...
 
2012-11-13 04:26:49 AM

Now That's What I Call a Taco!: This one random woman was threatened by the CIA Director's paramour, stalked by an FBI agent, AND was dirty talking the General in charge on the ground in Afghamistan?

This will definitely be a movie. I'm thinking Nicole Kidman or Naomi Watts for Kelley...


Nah, she looks like a Real Housewife of New Jersey, you've gotta go with someone more along the lines of Jaime Lynn Sigler.

upload.wikimedia.org
static4.businessinsider.com

/links are as hot as this scandal
 
2012-11-13 04:37:40 AM

WTF Indeed: This is just another way Obama is destroying the fabric of the American family. Obama plans to create a new cabinet post and appoint Petraeus as the Secretary of Swinging.


Sorry, I'm first in line for that post. It was promised to me by these guys...

i.imgur.com

Took that snap a few years ago just before we all got down to the freaky freaky.

jetzzfan: There's never any love for the rhombus.


Not true. The name of my new band is 'The Petraeus love rhombus'.

/Watch for our CD on sale at Venture stores next summer
 
2012-11-13 05:16:56 AM

KrispyKritter: farking ridiculous. places i've worked there was more married people cheating than being faithful. most people have little morality, that's all.


And did most of the people farking around have ridiculous national security information for which they could be blackmailed? No? Then fark yourself.
 
2012-11-13 05:20:10 AM

nucular bum: MaudlinMutantMollusk: "Love rectangle" sounds very uncomfortable

/on a number of levels

While "love cylinder" and "love torus" just sound geeky.


That's a bit of a grey area. Sasha Grey area specifically
 
2012-11-13 05:31:03 AM

zerkalo: KGB/FSB Honey Pot Operation


The picture of the latest woman involved has just been released and I think you are probably right.

www.g33kpron.com
 
2012-11-13 05:32:27 AM

KrispyKritter: farking ridiculous. places i've worked there was more married people cheating than being faithful. most people have little morality, that's all.


The worst part is you're self employed, working alone.

perv.
 
2012-11-13 05:41:21 AM

propasaurus: The AP is reporting that the Pentagon investigating top commander in Afghanistan for emails to woman in Petraeus scandal.

But that's pretty much the extent of that story as of right now, just that one sentence.


It looks like we're up to a love hexagon by now. Petreus, Allen, the FBI investigator, Jill Kelley, Broadwood and Petreus' wife all mixed up in this mess.

I still don't get how Petreus figured the standard rules for CIA employees who handle sensitive information didn't apply to him. Infidelity is a great way to end up being blackmailed, and he especially should have known better. Either he ignored the rules or the FBI vetting process prior to him being named CIA Director really sucked.
 
2012-11-13 05:50:49 AM
This thing is going "love plaid."

/ludicrous
 
2012-11-13 05:55:06 AM

Bendal: It looks like we're up to a love hexagon by now. Petreus, Allen, the FBI investigator, Jill Kelley, Broadwood and Petreus' wife all mixed up in this mess.


And Broadwell nd Kelley are both married as well so they entered the Octogon. Which puts them in Chuck Norris territory.
 
2012-11-13 05:56:00 AM
So, were there any Nubians imprisoned in the embassy dungeons in Zamunda or not? All these affair disclosures feel like the proverbial smokescreen.
 
2012-11-13 06:04:40 AM
Bendal:
Infidelity is a great way to end up being blackmailed, and he especially should have known better.

Adultery is a crime in the US military with clear conditions:

(1) That the accused wrongfully had sexual intercourse with a certain person;

(2) That, at the time, the accused or the other person was married to someone else; and

(3) That, under the circumstances, the conduct of the accused was to the prejudice of good order and discipline in the armed forces or was of a nature to bring discredit upon the armed forces.


Odds that he will be disciplined, zero.

Rules/laws are for the common people.
 
2012-11-13 06:05:18 AM
I think I've figured it out:

Basically, if you've had sex recently, there are no more than 6 degrees of seperation between you and this scandal.
 
2012-11-13 06:07:32 AM
Looks like a bunch of high ranking military officials and attractive ladies were running around acting like love struck, jealous, high school kids. Wow, can't wait for the movie.
 
2012-11-13 06:13:06 AM

unyon: If you count his wife in there, this thing has gone PENTAGON


I suspect his wife's going to go all 5 iron on him. Which is as good a reason as any never to golf
 
2012-11-13 06:18:09 AM

AbbeySomeone: Can someone start on a diagram or flowchart for all this?

mathworld.wolfram.com

Well here's a graph of my sex life. 
\Time can loop
 
2012-11-13 06:19:10 AM

Mentat: Now all we need is Bill Clinton, a pair of jumper cables a rubber chicken, some rope, a wicker basket and a three-day weekend in Vegas for this story to become officially awesome.

 
2012-11-13 06:20:48 AM

danielscissorhands: I think I've figured it out:

Basically, if you've had sex recently, there are no more than 6 degrees of seperation between you and this scandal.


Well, that leaves me out

/Old Fart
 
2012-11-13 06:29:53 AM

KeelingLovesCornholes: News now reporting the top U.S. general in Afghanistan, John Allen, is being investigated for inappropriate emails to Kelley. So it's pretty clear "unpaid social liaison" translates to "slut for anyone over 2-stars".


Don't laugh. Around big HQ bases that's a distinct social class.
 
2012-11-13 06:36:56 AM
This is beginning to sound more and more like something that I heard went on at a major company I worked for. Apparently, as the story goes, there was a rather large yacht that was owned by one of the heads of the company. They would take the boat out onto Lake Huron for couple swapping orgies with a bunch of the other upper management types. Eventually someone talked and word got around. From what I understand, most of them were either fired or moved into low profile positions. Only they managed to keep the whole thing out of the media.

Perhaps Petraeus was just one player in a larger game?

/heard the original story over lunch from one of the higher ups who wasn't one of the ones who got canned.
 
2012-11-13 06:57:44 AM
Coming soon to a TV near you, back due to popular demand, it's The Love Pentagon (1971)!

This "psychedelic" soap opera slash comedy was made to air in prime time but was squashed by the network and the Nixon White House after the pilot aired because they thought it was in bad taste. Boy, was it ever!

I'll leave you to fill in the horrible details.
 
2012-11-13 07:02:32 AM

unyon: GGracie: Why can't there ever be a Matthew McConaughey love polygon, or a Channing Tatum love scandal? Or even better... a Nathan Fillion hot and sloppy 'til the cops arrive scandal.

I don't want to hear about an old government hack getting freaky. It just ruins my desire to ever have sex again.

Just picture it in black and white. Then it's not old and creepy, it's Mad Men retro and cool.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 656x440]



i.imgur.com


Well, I've thought it over and ... you're not wrong.
 
2012-11-13 07:10:57 AM
Washington really is Rome on the Potomic.

It's a city of sluts of all stripes and variety and orientations and there's never a shortage of imperial courtiers and whores.
 
2012-11-13 07:14:13 AM
I'm beginning to think that these are the opening moves in Obama's purge of the military's top brass. The generals that aren't 100% loyal to the president will all be forced out one way or another. It starts low key like this. But in the end, any general that might refuse the President's command to fire on civilians, go house to house confiscating guns, or arresting lists of civilians without question, and the like, will be forced out. While low key now, this purge will likely become much more open and violent in the end. Just wait and watch, once the fake emergency happens (I predict they'll detonate a nuclear device in New York Harbor) that "force" the deceleration of martial law, any that dare refuse such orders will be arrested for treason.

/need work, any farkers want to help me perfect it? Someone page pocketninja.
//if it gets really good, I'll go post it at Free Republic
 
2012-11-13 07:18:09 AM

illannoyin: zerkalo: KGB/FSB Honey Pot Operation

The picture of the latest woman involved has just been released and I think you are probably right.

[www.g33kpron.com image 375x500]


I'd put my money on a Mossad operation before I'd bet on the Russians.
 
2012-11-13 07:19:47 AM

Marcus Aurelius: I'm holding out for a pentagon.


Came here to post this, leaving satisfied.
 
2012-11-13 07:21:09 AM

BigBooper: if it gets really good, I'll go post it at Free Republic


Can we not slap the hornet's nest? They're already confused enough as it is.
 
2012-11-13 07:29:31 AM

propasaurus: [static6.businessinsider.com image 400x300]
[4.bp.blogspot.com image 375x563]


mmm


Holy crap, I've been trying to pin down which actress or celebrity she looked like ever since the photos came out, and all along it was her. Good job.

Irving Maimway: and she's a Farkette


Is this what people pay five dollars a month for?
 
2012-11-13 07:33:29 AM
love dodecahedron
 
2012-11-13 07:39:43 AM

JohnnyC: BigBooper: if it gets really good, I'll go post it at Free Republic

Can we not slap the hornet's nest? They're already confused enough as it is.


Slap the hornet's nest? That sounds like a euphemism for something dirty.
 
2012-11-13 07:43:37 AM

rynthetyn: Well, I can see why he stepped down. This whole thing is a soap opera.


Soap opera? This is starting to turn into a flat-out shoujo manga.
 
2012-11-13 07:50:11 AM
Moar like WRECKtangle, amirite?
 
2012-11-13 07:57:00 AM

JohnnyC: BigBooper: if it gets really good, I'll go post it at Free Republic

Can we not slap the hornet's nest? They're already confused enough as it is.


What, you never threw a baseball at a bee/hornet nest when you were a kid?

It's just as much fun to stir up the Freepers and watch them flail around in their paranoia induced psychosis.
 
2012-11-13 08:03:57 AM

BigBooper: I'm beginning to think that these are the opening moves in Obama's purge of the military's top brass. The generals that aren't 100% loyal to the president will all be forced out one way or another. It starts low key like this. But in the end, any general that might refuse the President's command to fire on civilians, go house to house confiscating guns, or arresting lists of civilians without question, and the like, will be forced out. While low key now, this purge will likely become much more open and violent in the end. Just wait and watch, once the fake emergency happens (I predict they'll detonate a nuclear device in New York Harbor) that "force" the deceleration of martial law, any that dare refuse such orders will be arrested for treason.

/need work, any farkers want to help me perfect it? Someone page pocketninja.
//if it gets really good, I'll go post it at Free Republic


Good thing you threw in the slashies because you know there are some people who really think like that.
 
2012-11-13 08:05:50 AM

TwistedFark: Seriously... what the fark did I just read?

Does anyone have a map to all this??


I think we're gonna need that Time Cube guy before we're done...
 
2012-11-13 08:13:34 AM

yousaywut: BigBooper: I'm beginning to think that these are the opening moves in Obama's purge of the military's top brass. The generals that aren't 100% loyal to the president will all be forced out one way or another. It starts low key like this. But in the end, any general that might refuse the President's command to fire on civilians, go house to house confiscating guns, or arresting lists of civilians without question, and the like, will be forced out. While low key now, this purge will likely become much more open and violent in the end. Just wait and watch, once the fake emergency happens (I predict they'll detonate a nuclear device in New York Harbor) that "force" the deceleration of martial law, any that dare refuse such orders will be arrested for treason.

/need work, any farkers want to help me perfect it? Someone page pocketninja.
//if it gets really good, I'll go post it at Free Republic

Good thing you threw in the slashies because you know there are some people who really think like that.


It needs to mention "Reichstag fire" right before "fake emergency".
 
2012-11-13 08:14:17 AM
Love rectangle? Pff. Wake me when it becomes a love dodecahedron.

unyon: Mentat: Now all we need is Bill Clinton, a pair of jumper cables and a three-day weekend in Vegas for this story to become officially awesome.

Add in a firetruck and a hand grenade, and it goes Super Awesome.

[www.google.ca image 750x937]


With a stop in bat country.
 
2012-11-13 08:15:10 AM

It's not a rectangle. It's an ever widening circle of mistrust. The only way to stop it is to put both hands in and grip it by the sides and pull it apart.

(O)
 
2012-11-13 08:17:18 AM

Millennium: rynthetyn: Well, I can see why he stepped down. This whole thing is a soap opera.

Soap opera? This is starting to turn into a flat-out shoujo manga.


Now it seems the Kelley woman has a TWIN SISTER?

Daytime soaps would reject this plot as unrealistic...
 
2012-11-13 08:17:45 AM

yousaywut: So if I am reading this correctly:

Crazy got jealous of a 7 year olds on-line photo op with the general and assumed the man she was cheating with was cheating with the kids Mom so she sent harrassing e-mails to get Mom to back off. As this particular lady didn't seem to be involved with the General she naturally contacted LEO which happened to be her "friend" towel boy in the FBI who after getting the ball rolling promptly stomped on said ball and sent his own harrassing e-mail to this lady.

General resigns in disgrace because he stuck it to the crazy. Got it.


You know this guy in the FBI was somebody that she was stringing along, with the hope of a relationship, just in case one day she needed a favor. I t just so happened she needed a favor, he complied, and then he tried to cash in his chip.

It also sounds like she was probably doing the same with this other General. She sounds like a player and this whole episode came to light because she tried to use one of her towel boys to get even with somebody she was having a cat fight with.
 
2012-11-13 08:20:01 AM
It probably is a circle. I think there is another top general who was plugging Kelley the "unpaid social liaison".

War is hell....
 
2012-11-13 08:26:39 AM

ongbok: yousaywut: So if I am reading this correctly:

Crazy got jealous of a 7 year olds on-line photo op with the general and assumed the man she was cheating with was cheating with the kids Mom so she sent harrassing e-mails to get Mom to back off. As this particular lady didn't seem to be involved with the General she naturally contacted LEO which happened to be her "friend" towel boy in the FBI who after getting the ball rolling promptly stomped on said ball and sent his own harrassing e-mail to this lady.

General resigns in disgrace because he stuck it to the crazy. Got it.

You know this guy in the FBI was somebody that she was stringing along, with the hope of a relationship, just in case one day she needed a favor. I t just so happened she needed a favor, he complied, and then he tried to cash in his chip.

It also sounds like she was probably doing the same with this other General. She sounds like a player and this whole episode came to light because she tried to use one of her towel boys to get even with somebody she was having a cat fight with.


So she is king of the Octogon? The whole situation is nuts and I think it may get worse.
 
2012-11-13 08:27:40 AM
If everyone who cheated was laid end to end, they'd love it!
 
2012-11-13 08:30:09 AM
I wonder how many of these 'Predator' drones are roaming around US top commands....
 
2012-11-13 08:32:54 AM

yousaywut: ongbok: yousaywut: So if I am reading this correctly:

Crazy got jealous of a 7 year olds on-line photo op with the general and assumed the man she was cheating with was cheating with the kids Mom so she sent harrassing e-mails to get Mom to back off. As this particular lady didn't seem to be involved with the General she naturally contacted LEO which happened to be her "friend" towel boy in the FBI who after getting the ball rolling promptly stomped on said ball and sent his own harrassing e-mail to this lady.

General resigns in disgrace because he stuck it to the crazy. Got it.

You know this guy in the FBI was somebody that she was stringing along, with the hope of a relationship, just in case one day she needed a favor. I t just so happened she needed a favor, he complied, and then he tried to cash in his chip.

It also sounds like she was probably doing the same with this other General. She sounds like a player and this whole episode came to light because she tried to use one of her towel boys to get even with somebody she was having a cat fight with.

So she is king of the Octogon? The whole situation is nuts and I think it may get worse.


Oh yeah. I'm pretty sure she had a few other men with their noses open and telling her stuff that they shouldn't have been.
 
2012-11-13 08:33:30 AM
I think this love shape is going quickly into non-euclidean territory.
Rotten for his wife, but he sure seems to be banging some hotties. Crazies, but hotties.
 
2012-11-13 09:22:05 AM
The comments in these fark threads are absolutely LOLzy now.

First the Fark Left was ALL IN for the Video as the cause.

http://www.fark.com/comments/7328078/Riots-DEATH-TO-AMERICA-White-Ho us e-not-a-case-of-protest-against-US

http://www.fark.com/comments/7323180/If-a-low-budget-film-by-a-fring e- Florida-pastor-carries-more-weight-in-Muslim-world-than-words-deeds-of -President-of-United-States-it-also-tells-me-these-efforts-to-engage-M uslim-world-are-a-monumental-waste-of-time

http://www.fark.com/comments/7324451/Cast-crew-of-movie-that-set-off -p rotests-apologize-profusely-explaining-that-they-were-deceived-by-prod ucer-that-offensive-content-was-added-without-their-knowledge-in-post- production

Then the Fark Left was ALL IN against the Republicans for leaking classified CIA information, when we all know now it was Petraeus and his mistress:

http://www.fark.com/comments/7375767/Meanwhile-at-public-hearings-on -L ibya-attacks-Republicans-accidentally-reveal-CIA-had-a-secret-base-in- consulate-Attempting-to-undo-damage-Republicans-follow-up-by-accidenta lly-revealing-base-is-still-active

But this one might be the most LOLzy of them all:

http://www.fark.com/comments/7390652/Apparently-CIA-suspected-Bengha zi -consulate-attack-was-an-act-of-terror-within-24-hours-of-its-occurren ce-That-must-be-why-Mitt-Romney-has-been-seen-practicing-his-nailed-it -smirk

especially if it is true that the CIA knew within 24 hours it was terrorism and yet Petraeus told Congress it was the youtube video.
 
2012-11-13 09:25:22 AM

ongbok: yousaywut: So if I am reading this correctly:

Crazy got jealous of a 7 year olds on-line photo op with the general and assumed the man she was cheating with was cheating with the kids Mom so she sent harrassing e-mails to get Mom to back off. As this particular lady didn't seem to be involved with the General she naturally contacted LEO which happened to be her "friend" towel boy in the FBI who after getting the ball rolling promptly stomped on said ball and sent his own harrassing e-mail to this lady.

General resigns in disgrace because he stuck it to the crazy. Got it.

You know this guy in the FBI was somebody that she was stringing along, with the hope of a relationship, just in case one day she needed a favor. I t just so happened she needed a favor, he complied, and then he tried to cash in his chip.

It also sounds like she was probably doing the same with this other General. She sounds like a player and this whole episode came to light because she tried to use one of her towel boys to get even with somebody she was having a cat fight with.


Sums it up nicely.
 
2012-11-13 09:37:55 AM
I don`t give a fark who or what Petraeus stuck his dick into.....As long as he is/was the right person for the job, he should be doing it.
 
2012-11-13 09:40:47 AM

HotIgneous Intruder: Washington really is Rome on the Potomic.

It's a city of sluts of all stripes and variety and orientations and there's never a shortage of imperial courtiers and whores.


Excellent analogy!

/ we've become an Empire in all but name, I think...
 
2012-11-13 09:49:15 AM
Rectangle? Damn near killedangle!
 
2012-11-13 09:50:40 AM

Fat-D: I don`t give a fark who or what Petraeus stuck his dick into.....As long as he is/was the right person for the job, he should be doing it.


he commited rape.
 
2012-11-13 09:53:30 AM

SlothB77: First the Fark Left was ALL IN for the Video as the cause.


Probably because it coincided with riots in Egypt that were absolutely about the video, and the terrorist organization Reuters later claimed had taken responsibility actually released a statement hours after denying it and saying that it was about the video. Furthermore, it is possible - given the conflicting information - that Benghazi was a perfect storm of a spontaneous anti-video event like the one in Egypt and a planned attack. That would normally seem like too big of a coincidence had it not been the anniversary of 9/11.

But really, I don't really trust ideological partisans to tell me what happened there.
 
2012-11-13 09:57:34 AM

Fat-D: I don`t give a fark who or what Petraeus stuck his dick into.....As long as he is/was the right person for the job, he should be doing it.


Except every CIA employee that handles sensitive information is warned about extramarital affairs, since they can easily lead to blackmail. Apparently the Director thought those rules didn't apply to him.
 
2012-11-13 10:17:56 AM

Jon iz teh kewl: Fat-D: I don`t give a fark who or what Petraeus stuck his dick into.....As long as he is/was the right person for the job, he should be doing it.

he commited rape.


Rape or rape rape....
because you know the human body.....
 
2012-11-13 10:22:24 AM
I'm still struggling how this ugly 60 yr old dude can bag a hottie, married 40 yr old?

How did he do it? How can I learn his tricks...lol
 
2012-11-13 10:46:10 AM

Marcus Aurelius: I'm holding out for a pentagon.


Thread over. You win.

/BTW, you're farkied as:
- 3510471.After Cheney and Rumsfeld, you can't scare me any more, subby.
 
2012-11-13 11:36:45 AM

AbbeySomeone: Aulus: Oh, and it gets even more messed up: Link

Can someone start on a diagram or flowchart for all this?


i29.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-13 11:51:04 AM
Does that love rectangle have rounded corners? I Think Apple has a patent on that.
 
2012-11-13 12:22:15 PM
Kelly, the woman who made the complaint about harassing emails, complained to a "friend" in the FBI (he was definitely hitting on her, maybe more).

This FBI "friend" was not in charge of the investigation, he was not even involved, but kept putting his nose in it. His bosses had to tell him to GTFO.

The FBI friend was - Surprise - a complete right wingnut. He thought fartbongo was covering up the scandal so he "blew the whistle" and told teabagger in chief, Eric Cantor about it. In doing so, the FBI wingnut may have actually saved Obama a lot of hassles. Because now, Obama can say the Republican leadership knew about this long before he did. LOL

Petraeus Apparently Most Mentally Balanced Individual in His Own Scandal

//silly FBI wingnut, I'll bet he's reassigned to outer-farkistan by thanksgiving.
 
2012-11-13 01:19:06 PM

AbbeySomeone: shower_in_my_socks: If he couldn't keep this shiat quiet, then he didn't deserve to be head of the CIA.

That's why he quit, right?

The real issue here is the catty BS between Kelly and Broadwell. He would have gotten away with it if it weren't for whatever b*tchfest they have going on.
Hey, how much of our tax money is being spent on this anyhow?


I thought the real story was the 20,000 emails from the other general to Kelly.
 
2012-11-13 01:40:34 PM

uber humper: I thought the real story was the 20,000 emails from the other general to Kelly.


If you use it sort-of like an instant messenger it can get that high really quickly.

I'd be interested to know how many words were exchanged for that reason.
 
2012-11-13 01:46:27 PM

tdpatriots12: uber humper: I thought the real story was the 20,000 emails from the other general to Kelly.

If you use it sort-of like an instant messenger it can get that high really quickly.

I'd be interested to know how many words were exchanged for that reason.


That has to be it. But it's still alot.

These women remind me of the type run after athletes.
 
2012-11-13 01:48:27 PM
weeklystandard.com

Gotta love the idiots at a Denver ABC affiliate running this photoshop
 
2012-11-13 02:02:37 PM
That's bizarre.
 
2012-11-13 03:52:59 PM

BigBooper: JohnnyC: BigBooper: if it gets really good, I'll go post it at Free Republic

Can we not slap the hornet's nest? They're already confused enough as it is.

What, you never threw a baseball at a bee/hornet nest when you were a kid?

It's just as much fun to stir up the Freepers and watch them flail around in their paranoia induced psychosis.


I didn't... but I watched as another kid decided to do that (rock to a bee hive). The bees kicked his ass in short order... his folks ended up taking him to the hospital. I think he got about 50-60 stings or so. Dumb kid was lucky he didn't kill himself.
 
2012-11-13 06:38:28 PM

uber humper: [weeklystandard.com image 640x409]

Gotta love the idiots at a Denver ABC affiliate running this photoshop


Epic
 
2012-11-13 11:47:20 PM
anyone else notice that Paula has a hint of a South African accent? (see Jon Stewart video) Were her parents from there?
 
2012-11-14 01:14:29 AM

BigBooper: I'm beginning to think that these are the opening moves in Obama's purge of the military's top brass.


I'm thinking the Republicans fragged one of their own in a lame attempt to get Obama.

Used to be people said, British scandals are about sex and American ones are about money. Seems the reverse is true now.
 
2012-11-14 01:53:29 AM

gibbon1: I'm thinking the Republicans fragged one of their own in a lame attempt to get Obama.


Absolutely.

The right-wingnut FBI agent that reported this to the Republican House leadership did it purely political reasons. Seems he thought this was a massive conspiracy that went all the way to the white house. The fool probably thought his secret would somehow elect Romney. I guess his pea-brain never computed that Petreaus is a hero of the Republicans, not the Democrats. And that Obama purpusfully stuck him in the CIA to get him out of public view and not running for election.

As things stand now, my guess is that had the FBI agent kept it to himself, the general's dalliance would never have been made public. Of course, once "Mr. FBI Hero" leaked it to a few people in Congress (and their staffers) there was no keeping that jeanie in the bottle. I'm guessing the impending leaks forced the hand of the DOJ, they had to tell the president, so Petreaus had to resign. All because of an low-level FBI wingnut.

I can only imagine what Eric Cantor thought when Mr. FBI agent told him his secret. Probably "I don't want to know this! Why the FARK did this crazy wingnut idiot just tell me this?!?! The Republican base idolizes Petraeus. This won't hurt Obama! I hate my crazy base!"

/Cantor is a self important upperclass little douche, I can't think of anyone more deserving of this shiatstorm.
 
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