If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Express)   Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo   (express.co.uk) divider line 117
    More: Stupid, Darth Vader, Hayden Christensen, James Earl Jones, bodybuilding, Princess Leia, Mark Hamill  
•       •       •

13783 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 13 Nov 2012 at 5:50 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



117 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-11-13 12:06:44 AM
Ha ha, Subby, you got me, but you should really use the Satire tag for stories like this... right?... Subby?... This is a joke? Please tell me this is a joke.
 
2012-11-13 12:10:04 AM
Dear Star Wars Nerds,

Disney doesn't care about your childhood. Disney doesn't care about canon. Disney doesn't care what the internet thinks. Disney cares about making money. Disney will gut your beloved stories and you will get Star Wars X: On Stranger Tides in 3D. And Disney knows that no matter how much you b*tch about it, you will be first in line at midnight with your $25 IMAX 3D ticket in hand because you have no spine.
 
2012-11-13 12:12:31 AM
Oh for god sakes, that's not gonna happen! We're gonna have a whole bunch of stories like this until the movie is released
 
2012-11-13 12:17:07 AM
Are they gonna just act like the Teddy Bear Picnic never happened? I was pretty much already doing that anyway.
 
2012-11-13 12:21:19 AM
Really, was there any chance this wasn't gonna happen?
 
2012-11-13 12:32:24 AM
It will be one thing if they shoehorn him in through a flashback. I'll live.

But he's farking dead. You can't bring him back. Unless I'm very much mistaken, the EU is not full of crap about Vader being resurrected (unlike Palpatine, who makes coming back from the dead a weird habit).

/spoiler alert
//oops, too late
 
2012-11-13 12:32:30 AM

propasaurus: Really, was there any chance this wasn't gonna happen?


I'm cool with it.
 
2012-11-13 12:49:00 AM

FishyFred: It will be one thing if they shoehorn him in through a flashback. I'll live.

But he's farking dead. You can't bring him back. Unless I'm very much mistaken, the EU is not full of crap about Vader being resurrected (unlike Palpatine, who makes coming back from the dead a weird habit).

/spoiler alert
//oops, too late


I don't give a crap about the EU, but these movies that are being shat out are only about the money.
 
2012-11-13 12:49:57 AM

WTF Indeed: And Disney knows that no matter how much you b*tch about it, you will be first in line at midnight with your $25 IMAX 3D ticket in hand because you have no spine.


this is false. I, for one, will not see this bullshiat.
 
2012-11-13 12:50:37 AM
Aaaaaaaaand I'm out.

You guys have fun with it.
 
2012-11-13 12:51:22 AM

MadSkillz: late

I don't give a crap about the EU, but these movies that are being shat out are only about the money.


They hired an academy award winner to write the first treatment and are in discussion with some very talented directors. Disney wants this to be a success.
 
2012-11-13 12:54:35 AM

MadSkillz: I don't give a crap about the EU, but these movies that are being shat out are only about the money.


As opposed to episodes 1-3.

These have a chance at being good. There was no chance with Lucas. He gave up movies and became a toy merchandiser after Empire.
 
2012-11-13 01:08:32 AM

AdolfOliverPanties: These have a chance at being good.


Michael Arndt is a good writer. The new movies will most likely be a major improvement over the last 3.
 
2012-11-13 01:16:00 AM
He could come back as a ghost with no loss of consistency. Otherwise I am deeply skeptical.
 
2012-11-13 01:33:21 AM
Okay, it seems really dumb, and I am not a zealous fan, but if Obi Wan can say, "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine ..." and isn't there already all this canon stuff about Force Ghosts...

Rediscovery

Qui-Gon Jinn was the first of the recent Jedi who rediscovered this secret with the assistance of a shaman of the Whills. Qui-Gon's spirit guided Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi and revealed to them the secret of retaining one's individuality after becoming one with the Force. Yoda during his exile taught it to another Jedi Master, Qu Rahn. The Dark Woman also learned of it at some point-perhaps Qui-Gon also appeared to her during her years in hiding on Cophrigin V.

Death for those Jedi were different: their spirits could retain their individuality and could return as voices, dreams, or apparitions at will, so that they could help those in need of their guidance. On death, their bodies vanished; this was not the case with Qui-Gon, however, probably being a technique evolved by Obi-Wan and Yoda, under Qui-Gon's guidance.


This state was temporary, as Force ghosts were an intermediate state between life and afterlife; after a certain amount of time, they would then have to move on to the Netherworld of the Force, another realm of existence. Darth Vader learned of this ability through Darth Sidious, and upon his death, the spirits of Kenobi and Yoda completed his training by granting him the last step in becoming a spirit. Anakin's spirit appeared as that of his younger self, prior to his fall to the dark side.

Similar techniques

Certain Sith Lords had also discovered similar techniques.
 
2012-11-13 02:06:25 AM

MadSkillz: I don't give a crap about the EU, but these movies that are being shat out are only about the money.


That's Disney's actual corporate philosophy. I think it's engraved in marble at the headquarters.
 
2012-11-13 02:19:18 AM

RoyBatty: Okay, it seems really dumb, and I am not a zealous fan, but if Obi Wan can say, "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine ..." and isn't there already all this canon stuff about Force Ghosts...


A lot of time on your hands, have you, eh ?

That said- I can kinda dig it, if they do it right. I am not a huge SW nerd, but I remember having to sneak away to go see ep 4 as a kid because i was not allowed due to the devil or something, and always liked the whole concept.
Anyhow, I can see this, along with Obi Wan coming back. I dont see them not being a one trick pony, except as flashback fodder should there be and ep VIIII or X . We shall see, and I will pay full price for a film set after the rebels won.
JUst my thoughts
 
2012-11-13 02:22:55 AM

alienated: Anyhow, I can see this, along with Obi Wan coming back. I dont see them not being a one trick pony, except as flashback fodder should there be and ep VIIII or X . We shall see, and I will pay full price for a film set after the rebels won.


Yeah, if Obi Wan only comes back as an annoying smug ghost, how is he more powerful than Darth Vader could possibly imagine?
 
2012-11-13 02:39:32 AM

MadSkillz: FishyFred: It will be one thing if they shoehorn him in through a flashback. I'll live.

But he's farking dead. You can't bring him back. Unless I'm very much mistaken, the EU is not full of crap about Vader being resurrected (unlike Palpatine, who makes coming back from the dead a weird habit).

/spoiler alert
//oops, too late

I don't give a crap about the EU, but these movies that are being shat out are only about the money.


Lucas always said that the Emperor and Vader died in ROTJ. He just let EU be EU. Film canon ruled over all.

But Lucas doesn't own it anymore, does he?

Just relax people. farking internet rumor...chill.
 
2012-11-13 02:41:51 AM

RoyBatty: alienated: Anyhow, I can see this, along with Obi Wan coming back. I dont see them not being a one trick pony, except as flashback fodder should there be and ep VIIII or X . We shall see, and I will pay full price for a film set after the rebels won.

Yeah, if Obi Wan only comes back as an annoying smug ghost, how is he more powerful than Darth Vader could possibly imagine?


I imagine Obi being the one to take the upper road, so, He does not fade away like Sauron once did, I see him more as a Gandalf the White as opposed to Saruman who, nm- that wasnt in the films.
 
2012-11-13 02:44:04 AM
And, Why Yes, yes i did suggest that the author is considering that kind of option. I dont know and neither do the rest of us. It only fuels interest in the film, so, they have that going for it
 
2012-11-13 02:56:03 AM
Um, not much of a Star Wars geek, but wasn't he back on the good guy team after he died?
 
2012-11-13 03:13:54 AM

simplicimus: Um, not much of a Star Wars geek, but wasn't he back on the good guy team after he died?


Send in the clones, my friend. The Expanded Universe cloned Palpatine as a baddie numerous times after Vader threw him into a fusion reactor.

But. Really. Mark Frickin' Hamill?

That man is my hero. Not for Star Wars, but for playing Christopher Blair in Wing Commander.

www.wcnews.com
 
2012-11-13 05:54:49 AM
Somewhere George Lucas is wiping his ass with a $100,000 bill (the one with Teddy Roosevelt giving McKinley a wedgie) and saying "See, coming up with a more bad-ass villain than Vader is easier than it sounds, eh? Count Dooku ain't sounding so bad now, is it?"

Bringing Vader back *could* work if done properly with the proper reveal. But you'd have to have him as an off-screen monster for a good chunk of the first movie, if not have the reveal be the finale of the first movie. This is a sci-fi series where clones played a large part in the shiattiest chapter, after all.
 
2012-11-13 05:58:47 AM
Vader didn't really die. If he had died, he would have completely disappeared, like Obi Won did in A New Hope and Yoda did in Revenge of the Jedi. At the end of ROTJ, we see Luke carrying Vader's 'corpse' to the pyre and floating it out into the sea. If he were really dead, there would have been no body.
 
2012-11-13 06:09:34 AM

MadSkillz: I don't give a crap about the EU, but these movies that are being shat out are only about the money.


Why else would a major studio make a movie?

Are you dim?
 
2012-11-13 06:12:14 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Vader didn't really die. If he had died, he would have completely disappeared, like Obi Won did in A New Hope and Yoda did in Revenge of the Jedi. At the end of ROTJ, we see Luke carrying Vader's 'corpse' to the pyre and floating it out into the sea. If he were really dead, there would have been no body.


Well, except that Hayden appears at the end of ROTJ all Casper-like.
 
2012-11-13 06:14:04 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Vader didn't really die. If he had died, he would have completely disappeared, like Obi Won did in A New Hope and Yoda did in Revenge of the Jedi. At the end of ROTJ, we see Luke carrying Vader's 'corpse' to the pyre and floating it out into the sea. If he were really dead, there would have been no body.


Has was more machine than man at that point. What was left of his body did disappear, leaving some sprockets and a $20 gift card for Radio Shack.
 
2012-11-13 06:18:07 AM

alienated: RoyBatty: alienated: Anyhow, I can see this, along with Obi Wan coming back. I dont see them not being a one trick pony, except as flashback fodder should there be and ep VIIII or X . We shall see, and I will pay full price for a film set after the rebels won.

Yeah, if Obi Wan only comes back as an annoying smug ghost, how is he more powerful than Darth Vader could possibly imagine?

I imagine Obi being the one to take the upper road, so, He does not fade away like Sauron once did, I see him more as a Gandalf the White as opposed to Saruman who, nm- that wasnt in the films.


Just had to go there, did ya?

/Just re-read LOTR again.
//Every time I read it I want to scream about the short attention span involved in America cinema.
///After the very first movie succeeded, Jackson should have held out to make 6 full length movies instead of 3 so that he could cover the actual farking material instead of doing this stupid compressed, skewed story line he ended up with. The movies are pretty, but they do NOT tell the stories well at all. Hint, if each 'book' actually contains two books, that would mean it's not a 'trilogy' but a six part series. It can't be done well in 6 hours and nobody should have TRIED to cover it in six hours.


Why yes, I'm a female Tolkien geek, have a problem with that?
 
2012-11-13 06:22:06 AM

Teresaol31:
///After the very first movie succeeded, Jackson should have held out to make 6 full length movies instead of 3


Makes sense, except for the little catch where they filmed all 3 movies at the same time.
 
2012-11-13 06:22:21 AM
Damnit! It was my turn!
 
2012-11-13 06:24:04 AM
The new movies will be about Darth Vader trying to save Leia's kid after he turns to dark side. He figures out the power the Anakin and Palpatine could not... Resurrection. He revives Vader to have an ally in his quest for the universe that won't betray him. Little does he know that Vader is no longer the dark lord he once was.

Give me my money Disney. I will destroy people's childhood dirt cheap.
 
2012-11-13 06:24:52 AM

BronyMedic: simplicimus: Um, not much of a Star Wars geek, but wasn't he back on the good guy team after he died?

Send in the clones, my friend. The Expanded Universe cloned Palpatine as a baddie numerous times after Vader threw him into a fusion reactor.

But. Really. Mark Frickin' Hamill?

That man is my hero. Not for Star Wars, but for playing Christopher Blair in Wing Commander.

[www.wcnews.com image 320x240]


Holy bantha poo-doo. If Mark plays Vader my head would explode and a million voices would cry out.
 
2012-11-13 06:26:28 AM

WTF Indeed: Dear Star Wars Nerds,

Disney doesn't care about your childhood. Disney doesn't care about canon. Disney doesn't care what the internet thinks. Disney cares about making money. Disney will gut your beloved stories and you will get Star Wars X: On Stranger Tides in 3D. And Disney knows that no matter how much you b*tch about it, you will be first in line at midnight with your $25 IMAX 3D ticket in hand because you have no spine.


MadSkillz: FishyFred: It will be one thing if they shoehorn him in through a flashback. I'll live.

But he's farking dead. You can't bring him back. Unless I'm very much mistaken, the EU is not full of crap about Vader being resurrected (unlike Palpatine, who makes coming back from the dead a weird habit).

/spoiler alert
//oops, too late

I don't give a crap about the EU, but these movies that are being shat out are only about the money.


Of course it's about the money. It's always been about the money. These major studios are not PBS.
If they think they can make even more money on expanding the Luke/Leia relationship bordering on incest, they will do it.
 
2012-11-13 06:35:48 AM
As long as they bring back the Ewoks, I'm fine with anything else.
 
2012-11-13 06:40:30 AM

WTF Indeed: Disney doesn't care about your childhood. Disney doesn't care about canon. Disney doesn't care what the internet thinks. Disney cares about making money.


Yeah, but this turned out to be surprisingly good:

lh3.googleusercontent.com

So I think I kind of tust them a little. I mean, how much worse could it be compared to the last three?
 
2012-11-13 06:41:15 AM
That's not true. That's impossible.
 
2012-11-13 06:51:01 AM

AdolfOliverPanties: MadSkillz: I don't give a crap about the EU, but these movies that are being shat out are only about the money.

As opposed to episodes 1-3.


You mean Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi? I don't know of any other Star Wars movies made.
 
2012-11-13 06:51:15 AM
What's the big deal? Disney is in the business to make money, not to perpetuate some idealized version of your childhood. If you don't like what you see, don't watch it.
A lot of Farkers didn't like the prequel trilogy, yet the fantasy of your childhood lives on. You all will be ok.
 
2012-11-13 06:53:33 AM

Teresaol31: Why yes, I'm a female Tolkien geek, have a problem with that?


Um, not really. Besides the point that you are bitter about the films, of course.Who would, if you dont mind me asking . You do understand that Peter filmed all 3 films at the same time for a budget, I hope. ...
Tell me i am wrong in Noldorin, or even Sindarin, and then we can out geek each other. 
But I am going to bed, and am having my familiars warm the bed, even now. : )
 
2012-11-13 06:54:26 AM
The ending still bothers me. Easily the worst part of the prequels.

*Portman giving birth, dying*
*Vader being assembled*
*Obi Wan passing out the kids*
Emperor: Rise.
*Vader takes two iconic breaths*
*Cut to black*

Aaaaaaaaaaand scene
 
2012-11-13 06:55:01 AM
I'll accept this only if he speaks with David Prowse's strong West Country accent.
 
2012-11-13 06:58:12 AM

bulldg4life: The ending still bothers me. Easily the worst part of the prequels.

*Portman giving birth, dying*
*Vader being assembled*
*Obi Wan passing out the kids*
Emperor: Rise.
*Vader takes two iconic breaths*
*Cut to black*

Aaaaaaaaaaand scene


You forgot the family snapshot with mommy (Vader), daddy (Emperor), and their bouncing baby (Death Star).
 
2012-11-13 07:07:21 AM

ShawnDoc: MadSkillz: late

I don't give a crap about the EU, but these movies that are being shat out are only about the money.

They hired an academy award winner to write the first treatment and are in discussion with some very talented directors. Disney wants this to be a success.


Why is it assumed that these two goals are mutually exclusive? Wouldn't a successful trilogy bring them lots of money?
 
2012-11-13 07:24:58 AM

B.L.Z. Bub: Why is it assumed that these two goals are mutually exclusive? Wouldn't a successful trilogy bring them lots of money?


Ballpark, was hit out of, with that post.
 
2012-11-13 07:28:06 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: If he were really dead, there would have been no body.


popular wisdom tells us he was burning the empty suit in effigy
 
2012-11-13 07:30:06 AM

vartian: Yeah, but this turned out to be surprisingly good:

lh3.googleusercontent.com


Yeah. About that.

/sucked bad
 
2012-11-13 07:35:38 AM
They brought Darth Maul back in The Clone Wars. His initial appearance gave him a mechanical spider for a lower half that was revealed (in the supplementals if not in the episode itself) to have been "manifested" by the Dark Side. Maul was already a big ball of hate but his "death" at the hands of Obi-Wan gave him a focus for it, and the Dark Side was paying attention.

I would love a reveal of a new Vader being nothing but a complete machine created by the Dark Side, a physical manifestation of the hatred in Anakin that was shed when he opted to turn his back on Palpatine and help his son. The villain isn't someone using the Dark Side. The villain is the motherfarking Dark Side.
 
2012-11-13 07:39:05 AM
It sure would suck being a voice actor now; no movies for you! 

/i know, cartoons and animated series, but no movies
 
2012-11-13 07:50:43 AM

Jizz Master Zero: They brought Darth Maul back in The Clone Wars. His initial appearance gave him a mechanical spider for a lower half that was revealed (in the supplementals if not in the episode itself) to have been "manifested" by the Dark Side. Maul was already a big ball of hate but his "death" at the hands of Obi-Wan gave him a focus for it, and the Dark Side was paying attention.

I would love a reveal of a new Vader being nothing but a complete machine created by the Dark Side, a physical manifestation of the hatred in Anakin that was shed when he opted to turn his back on Palpatine and help his son. The villain isn't someone using the Dark Side. The villain is the motherfarking Dark Side.


So Vader becomes Dark Nihilus from KOTOR 2?
 
2012-11-13 07:51:12 AM
Speaking of Vader:
Here's my daughter's birthday cake from a few weeks ago
i232.photobucket.com
And here is Vader (one of her gifts) having tea and cookies
i232.photobucket.com
She believes him to be dead; would you shatter a little girl's belief system just to make a buck?
 
2012-11-13 07:59:07 AM
What will happen with Jarjar?
 
2012-11-13 08:01:05 AM

Teresaol31: alienated: RoyBatty: alienated: Anyhow, I can see this, along with Obi Wan coming back. I dont see them not being a one trick pony, except as flashback fodder should there be and ep VIIII or X . We shall see, and I will pay full price for a film set after the rebels won.

Yeah, if Obi Wan only comes back as an annoying smug ghost, how is he more powerful than Darth Vader could possibly imagine?

I imagine Obi being the one to take the upper road, so, He does not fade away like Sauron once did, I see him more as a Gandalf the White as opposed to Saruman who, nm- that wasnt in the films.

Just had to go there, did ya?

/Just re-read LOTR again.
//Every time I read it I want to scream about the short attention span involved in America cinema.
///After the very first movie succeeded, Jackson should have held out to make 6 full length movies instead of 3 so that he could cover the actual farking material instead of doing this stupid compressed, skewed story line he ended up with. The movies are pretty, but they do NOT tell the stories well at all. Hint, if each 'book' actually contains two books, that would mean it's not a 'trilogy' but a six part series. It can't be done well in 6 hours and nobody should have TRIED to cover it in six hours.


Why yes, I'm a female Tolkien geek, have a problem with that?


So you mean the books aren't about walking across New Zealand?
 
2012-11-13 08:03:39 AM

Krymson Tyde: Speaking of Vader:
Here's my daughter's birthday cake from a few weeks ago
[i232.photobucket.com image 300x200]
And here is Vader (one of her gifts) having tea and cookies
[i232.photobucket.com image 239x320]
She believes him to be dead; would you shatter a little girl's belief system just to make a buck?


This is America, where we shatter LOTS of foreign little kids' dreams in foreign sweatshops just so people can buy Gucci bags and have corporations make a shiat-ton of money in the process.

So, yes.

Also, they could easily bring Vader back...as one of those Force ghosts or whatever the hell they are. No need to resurrect him.
 
2012-11-13 08:06:15 AM

BronyMedic: simplicimus: Um, not much of a Star Wars geek, but wasn't he back on the good guy team after he died?

Send in the clones, my friend. The Expanded Universe cloned Palpatine as a baddie numerous times after Vader threw him into a fusion reactor.

But. Really. Mark Frickin' Hamill?

That man is my hero. Not for Star Wars, but for playing Christopher Blair in Wing Commander.

[www.wcnews.com image 320x240]


He has also, for a very long time, been the motherfarking Joker.
 
2012-11-13 08:10:26 AM
We can rebuild him... um, again. We still have the technology...

Suppose Vader's ghost possesses an Ewok... Tiny Vader! Combine that with a little Yakkity Sax and you've got something.
 
2012-11-13 08:23:00 AM
Internet rumor. Not worried.
 
2012-11-13 08:30:26 AM

Teresaol31: Every time I read it I want to scream about the short attention span involved in America cinema.


Sorry but Tom Bombadil sucks and is completely unnecessary and boring.
 
2012-11-13 08:34:03 AM
Star Wars is overrated anyway. Good kids movies I guess. Still, overrated. Time for people to get their big person britches on and start watching real movies.
 
2012-11-13 08:35:27 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Vader didn't really die. If he had died, he would have completely disappeared, like Obi Won did in A New Hope and Yoda did in Revenge of the Jedi. At the end of ROTJ, we see Luke carrying Vader's 'corpse' to the pyre and floating it out into the sea. If he were really dead, there would have been no body.


IIRC, Lucas has stated that Vader's body -or what was left of it- did indeed disappear. Luke cremated the life-support armor and cybernetics, but the body was gone.

Also IIRC, there's precedent for that. Didn't Obi-Wan's clothing remain when his body vanished? Why not Vader's, then, even if it held a more rigid shape?
 
2012-11-13 08:38:06 AM

MadSkillz: I don't give a crap about the EU, but these movies that are being shat out are only about the money.


I agree with this statement as far as it goes, but there's an implied assumption that I believe to be flawed: namely, that this was not equally true of the original trilogy and the prequels.
 
2012-11-13 08:40:39 AM
WTF Indeed

Dear Star Wars Nerds,

Disney george lucas doesn't care about your childhood. Disney george lucas doesn't care about canon. Disney george lucas doesn't care what the internet thinks. Disney george lucas cares about making money. Disney georgelucas will has gutted your beloved stories and it is now crap. And Disney everyone knows that no matter how much you b*tch about it, you will be first in line at midnight with your $25 IMAX 3D ticket in hand because you have no spine.

fixed.
 
2012-11-13 08:43:59 AM

xanadian: Krymson Tyde: Speaking of Vader:
Here's my daughter's birthday cake from a few weeks ago
[i232.photobucket.com image 300x200]
And here is Vader (one of her gifts) having tea and cookies
[i232.photobucket.com image 239x320]
She believes him to be dead; would you shatter a little girl's belief system just to make a buck?

This is America, where we shatter LOTS of foreign little kids' dreams in foreign sweatshops just so people can buy Gucci bags and have corporations make a shiat-ton of money in the process.

So, yes.

Also, they could easily bring Vader back...as one of those Force ghosts or whatever the hell they are. No need to resurrect him.


But force ghost Vader is a good guy now.

Maybe the clone route will work, but I don't like it.
 
2012-11-13 08:44:53 AM

propasaurus: Teresaol31: alienated: RoyBatty: alienated: Anyhow, I can see this, along with Obi Wan coming back. I dont see them not being a one trick pony, except as flashback fodder should there be and ep VIIII or X . We shall see, and I will pay full price for a film set after the rebels won.

Yeah, if Obi Wan only comes back as an annoying smug ghost, how is he more powerful than Darth Vader could possibly imagine?

I imagine Obi being the one to take the upper road, so, He does not fade away like Sauron once did, I see him more as a Gandalf the White as opposed to Saruman who, nm- that wasnt in the films.

Just had to go there, did ya?

/Just re-read LOTR again.
//Every time I read it I want to scream about the short attention span involved in America cinema.
///After the very first movie succeeded, Jackson should have held out to make 6 full length movies instead of 3 so that he could cover the actual farking material instead of doing this stupid compressed, skewed story line he ended up with. The movies are pretty, but they do NOT tell the stories well at all. Hint, if each 'book' actually contains two books, that would mean it's not a 'trilogy' but a six part series. It can't be done well in 6 hours and nobody should have TRIED to cover it in six hours.


Why yes, I'm a female Tolkien geek, have a problem with that?

So you mean the books aren't about walking across New Zealand?


Sigh. I like LOTR as much as the next person, but the whole "film the whole damned thing scene by scene" diss has always bothered me. Here's why: people have different expectations when they go to see films, even ones that are 2-3 hours long. Also, there's a lot of stuff in the books that would not have translated well to the screen without excising significant parts of the narrative. If you want to pay to see a film in which a major character appears and then disappears with little explanation (Bombadil), or watch trees talk for several days about their lives, their history, their romantic relationships, and whether or not to go to war (the Ent Council), then, by all means, go see it. You'll be the only one.
 
2012-11-13 08:45:56 AM

ElusiveWookiee: Internet rumor. Not worried.


I think this is the most important statement in the thread so far. This is, what, the third (Fourth? Fifth?) rumor posted about these movies since the announcement? There's no more credible sources in this article than in any issue of World News Daily. Sure it's fun to speculate, but let's all just calm the fark down until there's some real, solid news the go off of.
 
2012-11-13 08:47:42 AM
You just can't retcon some things.

This is one of them
 
2012-11-13 08:47:51 AM
Wouldn't Vader come back as a fully whole person if he resurrected? Possibly much younger?
 
2012-11-13 08:54:35 AM
In the original trilogy and in Old Republic it is not uncommon to have those strong in the Force to have ghosts bopping around.
 
2012-11-13 08:55:30 AM
i46.tinypic.com
 
2012-11-13 08:57:46 AM

RoyBatty: Okay, it seems really dumb, and I am not a zealous fan, but if Obi Wan can say, "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine ..." and isn't there already all this canon stuff about Force Ghosts...

Rediscovery

Qui-Gon Jinn was the first of the recent Jedi who rediscovered this secret with the assistance of a shaman of the Whills. Qui-Gon's spirit guided Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi and revealed to them the secret of retaining one's individuality after becoming one with the Force. Yoda during his exile taught it to another Jedi Master, Qu Rahn. The Dark Woman also learned of it at some point-perhaps Qui-Gon also appeared to her during her years in hiding on Cophrigin V.

Death for those Jedi were different: their spirits could retain their individuality and could return as voices, dreams, or apparitions at will, so that they could help those in need of their guidance. On death, their bodies vanished; this was not the case with Qui-Gon, however, probably being a technique evolved by Obi-Wan and Yoda, under Qui-Gon's guidance.


This state was temporary, as Force ghosts were an intermediate state between life and afterlife; after a certain amount of time, they would then have to move on to the Netherworld of the Force, another realm of existence. Darth Vader learned of this ability through Darth Sidious, and upon his death, the spirits of Kenobi and Yoda completed his training by granting him the last step in becoming a spirit. Anakin's spirit appeared as that of his younger self, prior to his fall to the dark side.

Similar techniques

Certain Sith Lords had also discovered similar techniques.


You need to get out more often. Into the sunlight.
 
2012-11-13 08:58:37 AM
I'll believe it when the source is a real person and not "industry insiders" which could be the f*cking janitorial crew on Space Mountain for all we know.
 
2012-11-13 08:58:44 AM
Through all this talk of Star Wars, lost is consideration of the possibility of a Monkey Island movie.
 
2012-11-13 09:00:05 AM

therecksays: In the original trilogy and in Old Republic it is not uncommon to have those strong in the Force to have ghosts bopping around.


While I fully want them to just do an Old Republic Trilogy, why can't they just make a new farking villain? Darth Maul should have been in all 3 prequels IMO. He was that strong and interesting of a character.
 
2012-11-13 09:07:34 AM
I'd just assume that it's somebody new in the suit. Another Sith Lord, pretending to be Vader. It's a powerful symbol.
 
2012-11-13 09:12:19 AM

KPatrickGlover: I'd just assume that it's somebody new in the suit. Another Sith Lord, pretending to be Vader. It's a powerful symbol.


I already noted, to my colleague, the suit could just be an industry standard walking aid for the disabled of that galaxy...
 
2012-11-13 09:15:41 AM
Just as long as they call him Darth Diculous.
 
2012-11-13 09:50:09 AM

BronyMedic:
That man is my hero. Not for Star Wars, but for playing Christopher Blair in Wing Commander.

[www.wcnews.com image 320x240]


Fight the good fight, Heart of the Tiger.
 
2012-11-13 09:52:13 AM

vartian: WTF Indeed: Disney doesn't care about your childhood. Disney doesn't care about canon. Disney doesn't care what the internet thinks. Disney cares about making money.

Yeah, but this turned out to be surprisingly good:

[lh3.googleusercontent.com image 250x250]

So I think I kind of tust them a little. I mean, how much worse could it be compared to the last three?


Bringing back a character who had his corpse burned for a cheap and thoughtless homage? Where does it end? Maybe Greedo can come back and shoot Old Han Solo dead, thus finishing the job.
 
2012-11-13 09:53:07 AM

Lysol_Please: AverageAmericanGuy: Vader didn't really die. If he had died, he would have completely disappeared, like Obi Won did in A New Hope and Yoda did in Revenge of the Jedi. At the end of ROTJ, we see Luke carrying Vader's 'corpse' to the pyre and floating it out into the sea. If he were really dead, there would have been no body.

Well, except that Hayden Sebastian Shaw appears at the end of ROTJ all Casper-like.


Fixed for accuracy.

/Fingers crossed that Disney will eventually restore the original theatrical releases.
 
2012-11-13 09:53:57 AM
Ha ha. Disney sucks.
 
2012-11-13 10:00:21 AM
At this point, I could barely give two f'ks about Star Wars. Lucas get a damn fine job in screwing up the franchise, and the 25 year bombardment of it has made me numb to the idea of anything Star Wars related.

Selling it to Disney made good business sense. But it's like when somebody bought the rights to that Duke Nukem Forever game, finally finished it, and it ended up sucking like most people predicted. This is what I believe will happen to the Star Wars movies. Unless I'm surprised, but Disney has a track record of screwing up things about as badly as Lucas. South Park's version of Mickey Mouse is a pretty good idea of how the company works as a whole.

/on the plus side, they seem to be mostly leaving Marvel alone to do great things with super hero movies...
 
2012-11-13 10:28:13 AM

Jizz Master Zero: They brought Darth Maul back in The Clone Wars. His initial appearance gave him a mechanical spider for a lower half that was revealed (in the supplementals if not in the episode itself) to have been "manifested" by the Dark Side. Maul was already a big ball of hate but his "death" at the hands of Obi-Wan gave him a focus for it, and the Dark Side was paying attention.

I would love a reveal of a new Vader being nothing but a complete machine created by the Dark Side, a physical manifestation of the hatred in Anakin that was shed when he opted to turn his back on Palpatine and help his son. The villain isn't someone using the Dark Side. The villain is the motherfarking Dark Side.


That's an incredible thought. I wish I could put into words ideas like you guys can that have studied and know so many more details about all of Star Wars. I can see Luke and the Jedi he trains, leads or warches over encountering the new Vader with his incredible powers and in awe or defeated. Obi Wan, Yoda and Vader appear and explain to Luke what and where the new Vader came from and the only way he can be defeated which will take three movies. Am I doing it right? Is this ok? I'm just kidding, I can't keep up with you guys even though SW A New Hope came out when I was 13 and i kept up as well as I could with that limited resource called a newspaper we had back then. Keep going it's really interesting to me at nearly 48. And I honestly can't wait for the movies to come out.
 
2012-11-13 10:28:23 AM

Krymson Tyde: Maybe the clone route will work, but I don't like it.


I just picked up Heir to the Empire. I think substituting Vader as the clone Sith makes the most sense if there is indeed any credence to this rumor. The article also stated that Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford were signed to reprise their roles, but the last I heard, they only all said they'd be interested in doing so, not that anything had been inked. But who knows.. they may just ignore the novels.

Well we have a few years to play rumor hockey until the movie comes out and everyone hates it because it's not what it was 35 years ago.
 
2012-11-13 10:38:39 AM
I can't stop laughing.

Holy balls, ow, HAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAHAHAHAHA

*inhale*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
 
2012-11-13 11:07:52 AM
It will turn out to be Old Man MacGillicuddy in a Darth Vader costume. The Junior Jedi Squad will thwart his plans to scare away visitors to the Sithland Adventure Theme Park so he can snap up the claim to the rich deposits of Mitichlorians that are underneath the Darthbo the Elephant ride.

/Also- Star Wars "BOOKS?" Do you have no pride? Why do you waste your money on that crap?
//Please, people. Leave that crappy authorized fan-fic alone and buy some REAL sci-fi.
 
2012-11-13 11:19:01 AM
*clicks on link*

*blink blink*


i.chzbgr.com
 
2012-11-13 11:19:14 AM

weirdneighbour: It sure would suck being a voice actor now; no movies for you! 

/i know, cartoons and animated series, but no movies


You mean Hamill? I don't see any problem with him or any of the original cast being in at least the first one or two. Doubt I would see the new ones if they weren't in them.To me that was where SWs began and that was the cast in it. For me the new ones need to pick up close to ROTJ left off. Not so far ahead as the main characters have died off. I want to know what happened with their life and where they are now and putting (35-40?) yrs. on them sounds about right to me. I think most casual fans and fans would want to know. Could be wrong as I have been lots of times before.
 
2012-11-13 11:21:18 AM
ALBERT BROOKES!


/told ya so
 
2012-11-13 11:22:59 AM

Haliburton Cummings: ALBERT BROOKES!

/WHARGGGHHBBLLEEZZZ
//told ya i told ya so

 
2012-11-13 11:32:11 AM

Mad_Radhu:
/Fingers crossed that Disney will eventually restore the original theatrical releases 80-year old dude who's performance was still kept intact (Vader's unmasking) in the Special Edition.


Shaw's replacement in the final shots of Jedi doesn't bother me in the slightest.
 
2012-11-13 11:33:17 AM

Dimensio: Through all this talk of Star Wars, lost is consideration of the possibility of a Monkey Island movie.


Well, they kinda, sorta did...
http://www.cracked.com/article_19443_7-classic-movies-you-didnt-know -w ere-rip-offs.html
 
2012-11-13 11:48:46 AM

alienated: Teresaol31: Why yes, I'm a female Tolkien geek, have a problem with that?

Um, not really. Besides the point that you are bitter about the films, of course.Who would, if you dont mind me asking . You do understand that Peter filmed all 3 films at the same time for a budget, I hope. ...
Tell me i am wrong in Noldorin, or even Sindarin, and then we can out geek each other. 
But I am going to bed, and am having my familiars warm the bed, even now. : )


Ma istal quet' Eldarin? Quetuvangwë sinomë ve meldet?
 
2012-11-13 12:02:01 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Of course it's about the money. It's always been about the money. These major studios are not PBS.


Movies are a business, not a charity. Maybe one day UNICEF will get into the movie business, but until then these are the people to see.
 
2012-11-13 12:14:37 PM
God damn, can any of you victimized dumb f*cks even read? If not TFA, then at least some of the posts?

Jizz Master Zero: ElusiveWookiee: Internet rumor. Not worried.

I think this is the most important statement in the thread so far. This is, what, the third (Fourth? Fifth?) rumor posted about these movies since the announcement? There's no more credible sources in this article than in any issue of World News Daily. Sure it's fun to speculate, but let's all just calm the fark down until there's some real, solid news the go off of.


 
2012-11-13 12:21:19 PM

WTF Indeed: Dear Star Wars Nerds,

Disney doesn't care about your childhood. Disney doesn't care about canon. Disney doesn't care what the internet thinks. Disney cares about making money. Disney will gut your beloved stories and you will get Star Wars X: On Stranger Tides in 3D. And Disney knows that no matter how much you b*tch about it, you will be first in line at midnight with your $25 IMAX 3D ticket in hand because you have no spine.


Pretty much, but the same could be said of Lucas himself for the past 15 years or so, so this isn't news.

As I've said before, something that was once special to me has been turned into something cheap and tawdry, and I don't care about it any more.
 
2012-11-13 12:44:41 PM
Meh.

First, Disney executives are probably initiating all these rumors to test the average nerd's'reaction, testing waters.

Then, if I find it stupid and irrelevant, that means my kids will love it. Disney can't rape my childhood, it's'safe and buried in my memory, let the kids have a go at it.

/sorry for the extra 's' courtesy of my shiatty mobile phone
 
2012-11-13 12:52:11 PM

peterthx: Mad_Radhu:
/Fingers crossed that Disney will eventually restore the original theatrical releases 80-year old dude who's performance was still kept intact (Vader's unmasking) in the Special Edition.

Shaw's replacement in the final shots of Jedi doesn't bother me in the slightest.


It does me. Obi Wan and Yoda are stuck as old men for all eternity as Force Ghosts. It seems incredibly unfair that someone who spent most of their life being an evil dick who supported genocide gets to be young and handsome again. That whole "everything is forgiven so long as you say you're sorry and feel really bad about it" thing drives me up the wall. Some sins should be beyond forgiveness, such as aiding in the murder of billions of innocents.
 
2012-11-13 01:06:46 PM
They should totally make it a Toy Story crossover. That'll make some money.
 
2012-11-13 01:08:00 PM

YouBWrong: What will happen with Jarjar?


He gets eaten by a bear, there will be much rejoicing.
 
2012-11-13 01:49:37 PM
I hate to be the voice of reason, but...

industry insiders say the evil Vader will grace the big screen again.
"He's an integral part of the franchise. Replacing him is virtually impossible," explains a film mole.
"The plan is for him to return and play a significant role in the new films."


"Industry Insider" is usually as reliable as "close friend" is when quoted in the tabloids.

also, Writer Michael Arndt is already working on the new Star Wars scripts.

so there is NOTHING aside from some random ramblings to suggest that Vader is returning. If anything at all, it would be his Jedi Ghost.
 
2012-11-13 02:07:54 PM

Mad_Radhu: peterthx: Mad_Radhu:
/Fingers crossed that Disney will eventually restore the original theatrical releases 80-year old dude who's performance was still kept intact (Vader's unmasking) in the Special Edition.

Shaw's replacement in the final shots of Jedi doesn't bother me in the slightest.

It does me. Obi Wan and Yoda are stuck as old men for all eternity as Force Ghosts. It seems incredibly unfair that someone who spent most of their life being an evil dick who supported genocide gets to be young and handsome again. That whole "everything is forgiven so long as you say you're sorry and feel really bad about it" thing drives me up the wall. Some sins should be beyond forgiveness, such as aiding in the murder of billions of innocents.


Then by your argument Anakin should never had been a Force ghost at all.

In any case, Anakin would be in his early 40s, not the nearly 80 Shaw.
 
2012-11-13 02:47:56 PM
peterthx Then by your argument Anakin should never had been a Force ghost at all.

In any case, Anakin would be in his early 40s, not the nearly 80 Shaw.


While debating the afterlife of a religion that has been crafted for a mass-media story would be quite interesting, let's say instead that Lucas screwed up the timeline a bit, and being set on fire might add years to your face. Just as living in a desert would make a 50 year old guy look 80.

/also have an easy retcon for midichlorians, but no one really cares
 
2012-11-13 03:09:00 PM

Ed Grubermann: AdolfOliverPanties: MadSkillz: I don't give a crap about the EU, but these movies that are being shat out are only about the money.

As opposed to episodes 1-3.

You mean Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi? I don't know of any other Star Wars movies made.


I just call them the Movies That Shall Not Be Named.

/Or the Star Wars-Flavored movies
//Looks like Star Wars, tastes a little like Star Wars, but it's not really Star Wars.
 
2012-11-13 03:11:46 PM

FunkyBlue: Ed Grubermann: AdolfOliverPanties: MadSkillz: I don't give a crap about the EU, but these movies that are being shat out are only about the money.

As opposed to episodes 1-3.

You mean Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi? I don't know of any other Star Wars movies made.

I just call them the Movies That Shall Not Be Named.

/Or the Star Wars-Flavored movies
//Looks like Star Wars, tastes a little like Star Wars, but it's not really Star Wars.


www.maletis.com
 
2012-11-13 03:33:35 PM
The only way that I could see this working is if Darth Vader got cloned or if the son of Leia and Han Solo took the part of Darth Vader when he went to the dark side. Leia and Han Solo spend an episode fighting for their son's soul. Darth Vader Jr still chooses evil and the ultimate betrayal- he kills his parents. In the end it is his Uncle Luke who saves him along with Darth's Jr's younger brother and sister.

It could work right? Or Leia and Han SOlo's son becomes so obsessed with Vader he clones him and uses him to take over and renew the empire. The family fights brother against brother . . .
 
2012-11-13 03:34:29 PM

FishyFred: It will be one thing if they shoehorn him in through a flashback. I'll live.

But he's farking dead. You can't bring him back. Unless I'm very much mistaken, the EU is not full of crap about Vader being resurrected (unlike Palpatine, who makes coming back from the dead a weird habit).

/spoiler alert
//oops, too late


One word:

Reboot
 
2012-11-13 03:45:52 PM
Laughs at the gullible fan boys/girls. BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! They're just having fun with you all now. Relax, it'll be fine.

/fangirl since 1977
 
2012-11-13 05:26:41 PM
I'm surprised they're going to use Mark Hamill. Then again, maybe it'll look kinda badass like Ian McDiarmid cutting through 3 Jedis like butter.



When 61 years you reach, look this good you will not, hmm?
 
2012-11-13 08:43:55 PM
Midichlorians.

MIDICHLORIANS.

/midichlorians
 
2012-11-13 09:12:06 PM

Millennium: AverageAmericanGuy: Vader didn't really die. If he had died, he would have completely disappeared, like Obi Won did in A New Hope and Yoda did in Revenge of the Jedi. At the end of ROTJ, we see Luke carrying Vader's 'corpse' to the pyre and floating it out into the sea. If he were really dead, there would have been no body.

IIRC, Lucas has stated that Vader's body -or what was left of it- did indeed disappear. Luke cremated the life-support armor and cybernetics, but the body was gone.

Also IIRC, there's precedent for that. Didn't Obi-Wan's clothing remain when his body vanished? Why not Vader's, then, even if it held a more rigid shape?


Rainbow body
 
2012-11-13 09:17:22 PM

Mad_Radhu: peterthx: Mad_Radhu:
/Fingers crossed that Disney will eventually restore the original theatrical releases 80-year old dude who's performance was still kept intact (Vader's unmasking) in the Special Edition.

Shaw's replacement in the final shots of Jedi doesn't bother me in the slightest.

It does me. Obi Wan and Yoda are stuck as old men for all eternity as Force Ghosts. It seems incredibly unfair that someone who spent most of their life being an evil dick who supported genocide gets to be young and handsome again. That whole "everything is forgiven so long as you say you're sorry and feel really bad about it" thing drives me up the wall. Some sins should be beyond forgiveness, such as aiding in the murder of billions of innocents.


Yeah, goddammit, Ewan is more sexy than Alec!
 
2012-11-13 09:28:24 PM

TheMysticS: Mad_Radhu: peterthx: Mad_Radhu:
/Fingers crossed that Disney will eventually restore the original theatrical releases 80-year old dude who's performance was still kept intact (Vader's unmasking) in the Special Edition.

Shaw's replacement in the final shots of Jedi doesn't bother me in the slightest.

It does me. Obi Wan and Yoda are stuck as old men for all eternity as Force Ghosts. It seems incredibly unfair that someone who spent most of their life being an evil dick who supported genocide gets to be young and handsome again. That whole "everything is forgiven so long as you say you're sorry and feel really bad about it" thing drives me up the wall. Some sins should be beyond forgiveness, such as aiding in the murder of billions of innocents.

Yeah, goddammit, Ewan is more sexy than Alec!


Ok, plus

-Anakin didn't get a choice in his 'chosen one' status
-The last time Anakin was 'good', that's what he looked like
-what he personally chose was evil, but it all somehow ended up balanced because what he finally chose killed the most bestest sith evar, and somehow, magically-poof! The balance is restored.
How? Not sure. Maybe the prophecy was a shiatty one.
Maybe that Jedi ate too many of those funky plants from Felucia.
 
2012-11-13 09:54:35 PM
That wasn't part of the deal!
 
2012-11-13 09:57:23 PM

BronyMedic: simplicimus: Um, not much of a Star Wars geek, but wasn't he back on the good guy team after he died?

Send in the clones, my friend. The Expanded Universe cloned Palpatine as a baddie numerous times after Vader threw him into a fusion reactor.

But. Really. Mark Frickin' Hamill?

That man is my hero. Not for Star Wars, but for playing Christopher Blair in Wing Commander.

www.wcnews.com


SO MUCH PHUQIN' THIS RIGHT THE PHUQ HERE, BY GAWD!!
 

I bought WC4 just so I could watch the story. I set the thing on easy, and started playing/watching. I didn't get to the end of it before one of my kids "borrowed" the discs, and there that went.
 
2012-11-13 10:11:44 PM

thecpt: therecksays: In the original trilogy and in Old Republic it is not uncommon to have those strong in the Force to have ghosts bopping around.

While I fully want them to just do an Old Republic Trilogy, why can't they just make a new farking villain? Darth Maul should have been in all 3 prequels IMO. He was that strong and interesting of a character.


As presented in the movie? He really wasn't. He wasn't a character at all. He just looked cool.

There's clearly nothing wrong with looking cool, and two more movies would've given him time to develop some form of personality. And having a villain that Anakin had some kind of emotional connection to would've made the confrontations Anakin had in 2 and 3 actually work much better. But just going by what we get in Phantom Menace, Darth Maul's "character" is a wonder of costume design, makeup design, and fight choreography.
 
2012-11-14 03:00:10 AM
Really? 100+ comments and this is nowhere to be seen? Shame on all of you.

www.donationcoder.com
 
2012-11-14 05:10:43 AM
Can we get a better source?
 
Displayed 117 of 117 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report