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    More: Stupid, Darth Vader, Hayden Christensen, James Earl Jones, bodybuilding, Princess Leia, Mark Hamill  
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13780 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 13 Nov 2012 at 5:50 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-13 12:06:44 AM
Ha ha, Subby, you got me, but you should really use the Satire tag for stories like this... right?... Subby?... This is a joke? Please tell me this is a joke.
 
2012-11-13 12:10:04 AM
Dear Star Wars Nerds,

Disney doesn't care about your childhood. Disney doesn't care about canon. Disney doesn't care what the internet thinks. Disney cares about making money. Disney will gut your beloved stories and you will get Star Wars X: On Stranger Tides in 3D. And Disney knows that no matter how much you b*tch about it, you will be first in line at midnight with your $25 IMAX 3D ticket in hand because you have no spine.
 
2012-11-13 12:12:31 AM
Oh for god sakes, that's not gonna happen! We're gonna have a whole bunch of stories like this until the movie is released
 
2012-11-13 12:17:07 AM
Are they gonna just act like the Teddy Bear Picnic never happened? I was pretty much already doing that anyway.
 
2012-11-13 12:21:19 AM
Really, was there any chance this wasn't gonna happen?
 
2012-11-13 12:32:24 AM
It will be one thing if they shoehorn him in through a flashback. I'll live.

But he's farking dead. You can't bring him back. Unless I'm very much mistaken, the EU is not full of crap about Vader being resurrected (unlike Palpatine, who makes coming back from the dead a weird habit).

/spoiler alert
//oops, too late
 
2012-11-13 12:32:30 AM

propasaurus: Really, was there any chance this wasn't gonna happen?


I'm cool with it.
 
2012-11-13 12:49:00 AM

FishyFred: It will be one thing if they shoehorn him in through a flashback. I'll live.

But he's farking dead. You can't bring him back. Unless I'm very much mistaken, the EU is not full of crap about Vader being resurrected (unlike Palpatine, who makes coming back from the dead a weird habit).

/spoiler alert
//oops, too late


I don't give a crap about the EU, but these movies that are being shat out are only about the money.
 
2012-11-13 12:49:57 AM

WTF Indeed: And Disney knows that no matter how much you b*tch about it, you will be first in line at midnight with your $25 IMAX 3D ticket in hand because you have no spine.


this is false. I, for one, will not see this bullshiat.
 
2012-11-13 12:50:37 AM
Aaaaaaaaand I'm out.

You guys have fun with it.
 
2012-11-13 12:51:22 AM

MadSkillz: late

I don't give a crap about the EU, but these movies that are being shat out are only about the money.


They hired an academy award winner to write the first treatment and are in discussion with some very talented directors. Disney wants this to be a success.
 
2012-11-13 12:54:35 AM

MadSkillz: I don't give a crap about the EU, but these movies that are being shat out are only about the money.


As opposed to episodes 1-3.

These have a chance at being good. There was no chance with Lucas. He gave up movies and became a toy merchandiser after Empire.
 
2012-11-13 01:08:32 AM

AdolfOliverPanties: These have a chance at being good.


Michael Arndt is a good writer. The new movies will most likely be a major improvement over the last 3.
 
2012-11-13 01:16:00 AM
He could come back as a ghost with no loss of consistency. Otherwise I am deeply skeptical.
 
2012-11-13 01:33:21 AM
Okay, it seems really dumb, and I am not a zealous fan, but if Obi Wan can say, "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine ..." and isn't there already all this canon stuff about Force Ghosts...

Rediscovery

Qui-Gon Jinn was the first of the recent Jedi who rediscovered this secret with the assistance of a shaman of the Whills. Qui-Gon's spirit guided Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi and revealed to them the secret of retaining one's individuality after becoming one with the Force. Yoda during his exile taught it to another Jedi Master, Qu Rahn. The Dark Woman also learned of it at some point-perhaps Qui-Gon also appeared to her during her years in hiding on Cophrigin V.

Death for those Jedi were different: their spirits could retain their individuality and could return as voices, dreams, or apparitions at will, so that they could help those in need of their guidance. On death, their bodies vanished; this was not the case with Qui-Gon, however, probably being a technique evolved by Obi-Wan and Yoda, under Qui-Gon's guidance.


This state was temporary, as Force ghosts were an intermediate state between life and afterlife; after a certain amount of time, they would then have to move on to the Netherworld of the Force, another realm of existence. Darth Vader learned of this ability through Darth Sidious, and upon his death, the spirits of Kenobi and Yoda completed his training by granting him the last step in becoming a spirit. Anakin's spirit appeared as that of his younger self, prior to his fall to the dark side.

Similar techniques

Certain Sith Lords had also discovered similar techniques.
 
2012-11-13 02:06:25 AM

MadSkillz: I don't give a crap about the EU, but these movies that are being shat out are only about the money.


That's Disney's actual corporate philosophy. I think it's engraved in marble at the headquarters.
 
2012-11-13 02:19:18 AM

RoyBatty: Okay, it seems really dumb, and I am not a zealous fan, but if Obi Wan can say, "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine ..." and isn't there already all this canon stuff about Force Ghosts...


A lot of time on your hands, have you, eh ?

That said- I can kinda dig it, if they do it right. I am not a huge SW nerd, but I remember having to sneak away to go see ep 4 as a kid because i was not allowed due to the devil or something, and always liked the whole concept.
Anyhow, I can see this, along with Obi Wan coming back. I dont see them not being a one trick pony, except as flashback fodder should there be and ep VIIII or X . We shall see, and I will pay full price for a film set after the rebels won.
JUst my thoughts
 
2012-11-13 02:22:55 AM

alienated: Anyhow, I can see this, along with Obi Wan coming back. I dont see them not being a one trick pony, except as flashback fodder should there be and ep VIIII or X . We shall see, and I will pay full price for a film set after the rebels won.


Yeah, if Obi Wan only comes back as an annoying smug ghost, how is he more powerful than Darth Vader could possibly imagine?
 
2012-11-13 02:39:32 AM

MadSkillz: FishyFred: It will be one thing if they shoehorn him in through a flashback. I'll live.

But he's farking dead. You can't bring him back. Unless I'm very much mistaken, the EU is not full of crap about Vader being resurrected (unlike Palpatine, who makes coming back from the dead a weird habit).

/spoiler alert
//oops, too late

I don't give a crap about the EU, but these movies that are being shat out are only about the money.


Lucas always said that the Emperor and Vader died in ROTJ. He just let EU be EU. Film canon ruled over all.

But Lucas doesn't own it anymore, does he?

Just relax people. farking internet rumor...chill.
 
2012-11-13 02:41:51 AM

RoyBatty: alienated: Anyhow, I can see this, along with Obi Wan coming back. I dont see them not being a one trick pony, except as flashback fodder should there be and ep VIIII or X . We shall see, and I will pay full price for a film set after the rebels won.

Yeah, if Obi Wan only comes back as an annoying smug ghost, how is he more powerful than Darth Vader could possibly imagine?


I imagine Obi being the one to take the upper road, so, He does not fade away like Sauron once did, I see him more as a Gandalf the White as opposed to Saruman who, nm- that wasnt in the films.
 
2012-11-13 02:44:04 AM
And, Why Yes, yes i did suggest that the author is considering that kind of option. I dont know and neither do the rest of us. It only fuels interest in the film, so, they have that going for it
 
2012-11-13 02:56:03 AM
Um, not much of a Star Wars geek, but wasn't he back on the good guy team after he died?
 
2012-11-13 03:13:54 AM

simplicimus: Um, not much of a Star Wars geek, but wasn't he back on the good guy team after he died?


Send in the clones, my friend. The Expanded Universe cloned Palpatine as a baddie numerous times after Vader threw him into a fusion reactor.

But. Really. Mark Frickin' Hamill?

That man is my hero. Not for Star Wars, but for playing Christopher Blair in Wing Commander.

www.wcnews.com
 
2012-11-13 05:54:49 AM
Somewhere George Lucas is wiping his ass with a $100,000 bill (the one with Teddy Roosevelt giving McKinley a wedgie) and saying "See, coming up with a more bad-ass villain than Vader is easier than it sounds, eh? Count Dooku ain't sounding so bad now, is it?"

Bringing Vader back *could* work if done properly with the proper reveal. But you'd have to have him as an off-screen monster for a good chunk of the first movie, if not have the reveal be the finale of the first movie. This is a sci-fi series where clones played a large part in the shiattiest chapter, after all.
 
2012-11-13 05:58:47 AM
Vader didn't really die. If he had died, he would have completely disappeared, like Obi Won did in A New Hope and Yoda did in Revenge of the Jedi. At the end of ROTJ, we see Luke carrying Vader's 'corpse' to the pyre and floating it out into the sea. If he were really dead, there would have been no body.
 
2012-11-13 06:09:34 AM

MadSkillz: I don't give a crap about the EU, but these movies that are being shat out are only about the money.


Why else would a major studio make a movie?

Are you dim?
 
2012-11-13 06:12:14 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Vader didn't really die. If he had died, he would have completely disappeared, like Obi Won did in A New Hope and Yoda did in Revenge of the Jedi. At the end of ROTJ, we see Luke carrying Vader's 'corpse' to the pyre and floating it out into the sea. If he were really dead, there would have been no body.


Well, except that Hayden appears at the end of ROTJ all Casper-like.
 
2012-11-13 06:14:04 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Vader didn't really die. If he had died, he would have completely disappeared, like Obi Won did in A New Hope and Yoda did in Revenge of the Jedi. At the end of ROTJ, we see Luke carrying Vader's 'corpse' to the pyre and floating it out into the sea. If he were really dead, there would have been no body.


Has was more machine than man at that point. What was left of his body did disappear, leaving some sprockets and a $20 gift card for Radio Shack.
 
2012-11-13 06:18:07 AM

alienated: RoyBatty: alienated: Anyhow, I can see this, along with Obi Wan coming back. I dont see them not being a one trick pony, except as flashback fodder should there be and ep VIIII or X . We shall see, and I will pay full price for a film set after the rebels won.

Yeah, if Obi Wan only comes back as an annoying smug ghost, how is he more powerful than Darth Vader could possibly imagine?

I imagine Obi being the one to take the upper road, so, He does not fade away like Sauron once did, I see him more as a Gandalf the White as opposed to Saruman who, nm- that wasnt in the films.


Just had to go there, did ya?

/Just re-read LOTR again.
//Every time I read it I want to scream about the short attention span involved in America cinema.
///After the very first movie succeeded, Jackson should have held out to make 6 full length movies instead of 3 so that he could cover the actual farking material instead of doing this stupid compressed, skewed story line he ended up with. The movies are pretty, but they do NOT tell the stories well at all. Hint, if each 'book' actually contains two books, that would mean it's not a 'trilogy' but a six part series. It can't be done well in 6 hours and nobody should have TRIED to cover it in six hours.


Why yes, I'm a female Tolkien geek, have a problem with that?
 
2012-11-13 06:22:06 AM

Teresaol31:
///After the very first movie succeeded, Jackson should have held out to make 6 full length movies instead of 3


Makes sense, except for the little catch where they filmed all 3 movies at the same time.
 
2012-11-13 06:22:21 AM
Damnit! It was my turn!
 
2012-11-13 06:24:04 AM
The new movies will be about Darth Vader trying to save Leia's kid after he turns to dark side. He figures out the power the Anakin and Palpatine could not... Resurrection. He revives Vader to have an ally in his quest for the universe that won't betray him. Little does he know that Vader is no longer the dark lord he once was.

Give me my money Disney. I will destroy people's childhood dirt cheap.
 
2012-11-13 06:24:52 AM

BronyMedic: simplicimus: Um, not much of a Star Wars geek, but wasn't he back on the good guy team after he died?

Send in the clones, my friend. The Expanded Universe cloned Palpatine as a baddie numerous times after Vader threw him into a fusion reactor.

But. Really. Mark Frickin' Hamill?

That man is my hero. Not for Star Wars, but for playing Christopher Blair in Wing Commander.

[www.wcnews.com image 320x240]


Holy bantha poo-doo. If Mark plays Vader my head would explode and a million voices would cry out.
 
2012-11-13 06:26:28 AM

WTF Indeed: Dear Star Wars Nerds,

Disney doesn't care about your childhood. Disney doesn't care about canon. Disney doesn't care what the internet thinks. Disney cares about making money. Disney will gut your beloved stories and you will get Star Wars X: On Stranger Tides in 3D. And Disney knows that no matter how much you b*tch about it, you will be first in line at midnight with your $25 IMAX 3D ticket in hand because you have no spine.


MadSkillz: FishyFred: It will be one thing if they shoehorn him in through a flashback. I'll live.

But he's farking dead. You can't bring him back. Unless I'm very much mistaken, the EU is not full of crap about Vader being resurrected (unlike Palpatine, who makes coming back from the dead a weird habit).

/spoiler alert
//oops, too late

I don't give a crap about the EU, but these movies that are being shat out are only about the money.


Of course it's about the money. It's always been about the money. These major studios are not PBS.
If they think they can make even more money on expanding the Luke/Leia relationship bordering on incest, they will do it.
 
2012-11-13 06:35:48 AM
As long as they bring back the Ewoks, I'm fine with anything else.
 
2012-11-13 06:40:30 AM

WTF Indeed: Disney doesn't care about your childhood. Disney doesn't care about canon. Disney doesn't care what the internet thinks. Disney cares about making money.


Yeah, but this turned out to be surprisingly good:

lh3.googleusercontent.com

So I think I kind of tust them a little. I mean, how much worse could it be compared to the last three?
 
2012-11-13 06:41:15 AM
That's not true. That's impossible.
 
2012-11-13 06:51:01 AM

AdolfOliverPanties: MadSkillz: I don't give a crap about the EU, but these movies that are being shat out are only about the money.

As opposed to episodes 1-3.


You mean Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi? I don't know of any other Star Wars movies made.
 
2012-11-13 06:51:15 AM
What's the big deal? Disney is in the business to make money, not to perpetuate some idealized version of your childhood. If you don't like what you see, don't watch it.
A lot of Farkers didn't like the prequel trilogy, yet the fantasy of your childhood lives on. You all will be ok.
 
2012-11-13 06:53:33 AM

Teresaol31: Why yes, I'm a female Tolkien geek, have a problem with that?


Um, not really. Besides the point that you are bitter about the films, of course.Who would, if you dont mind me asking . You do understand that Peter filmed all 3 films at the same time for a budget, I hope. ...
Tell me i am wrong in Noldorin, or even Sindarin, and then we can out geek each other. 
But I am going to bed, and am having my familiars warm the bed, even now. : )
 
2012-11-13 06:54:26 AM
The ending still bothers me. Easily the worst part of the prequels.

*Portman giving birth, dying*
*Vader being assembled*
*Obi Wan passing out the kids*
Emperor: Rise.
*Vader takes two iconic breaths*
*Cut to black*

Aaaaaaaaaaand scene
 
2012-11-13 06:55:01 AM
I'll accept this only if he speaks with David Prowse's strong West Country accent.
 
2012-11-13 06:58:12 AM

bulldg4life: The ending still bothers me. Easily the worst part of the prequels.

*Portman giving birth, dying*
*Vader being assembled*
*Obi Wan passing out the kids*
Emperor: Rise.
*Vader takes two iconic breaths*
*Cut to black*

Aaaaaaaaaaand scene


You forgot the family snapshot with mommy (Vader), daddy (Emperor), and their bouncing baby (Death Star).
 
2012-11-13 07:07:21 AM

ShawnDoc: MadSkillz: late

I don't give a crap about the EU, but these movies that are being shat out are only about the money.

They hired an academy award winner to write the first treatment and are in discussion with some very talented directors. Disney wants this to be a success.


Why is it assumed that these two goals are mutually exclusive? Wouldn't a successful trilogy bring them lots of money?
 
2012-11-13 07:24:58 AM

B.L.Z. Bub: Why is it assumed that these two goals are mutually exclusive? Wouldn't a successful trilogy bring them lots of money?


Ballpark, was hit out of, with that post.
 
2012-11-13 07:28:06 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: If he were really dead, there would have been no body.


popular wisdom tells us he was burning the empty suit in effigy
 
2012-11-13 07:30:06 AM

vartian: Yeah, but this turned out to be surprisingly good:

lh3.googleusercontent.com


Yeah. About that.

/sucked bad
 
2012-11-13 07:35:38 AM
They brought Darth Maul back in The Clone Wars. His initial appearance gave him a mechanical spider for a lower half that was revealed (in the supplementals if not in the episode itself) to have been "manifested" by the Dark Side. Maul was already a big ball of hate but his "death" at the hands of Obi-Wan gave him a focus for it, and the Dark Side was paying attention.

I would love a reveal of a new Vader being nothing but a complete machine created by the Dark Side, a physical manifestation of the hatred in Anakin that was shed when he opted to turn his back on Palpatine and help his son. The villain isn't someone using the Dark Side. The villain is the motherfarking Dark Side.
 
2012-11-13 07:39:05 AM
It sure would suck being a voice actor now; no movies for you! 

/i know, cartoons and animated series, but no movies
 
2012-11-13 07:50:43 AM

Jizz Master Zero: They brought Darth Maul back in The Clone Wars. His initial appearance gave him a mechanical spider for a lower half that was revealed (in the supplementals if not in the episode itself) to have been "manifested" by the Dark Side. Maul was already a big ball of hate but his "death" at the hands of Obi-Wan gave him a focus for it, and the Dark Side was paying attention.

I would love a reveal of a new Vader being nothing but a complete machine created by the Dark Side, a physical manifestation of the hatred in Anakin that was shed when he opted to turn his back on Palpatine and help his son. The villain isn't someone using the Dark Side. The villain is the motherfarking Dark Side.


So Vader becomes Dark Nihilus from KOTOR 2?
 
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