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(Slate)   Wait? did Abraham Lincoln just break up with me?   (slate.com) divider line 13
    More: Amusing, Abraham Lincoln, Kentuckians  
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12510 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Nov 2012 at 11:53 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
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Archived thread
2012-11-12 01:11:20 PM
3 votes:

oldfarthenry: hdhale: He didn't exactly go for hot chicks, did he?

Men chose chicks for their "sturdiness" (not beauty) back then. Remember, ladies had to fart-out around ten kids in hopes that two or three of them made it to adulthood.
Twas a cruel existence.


Farting them out? No wonder child mortality was so high back then, they were doing it wrong!
2012-11-12 12:58:15 PM
3 votes:
Spew venom not at the particpant, instead focus your vitriol at the contest
2012-11-12 12:47:18 PM
3 votes:
Too bad she turned him down. She missed a great play.
2012-11-12 12:11:52 PM
3 votes:
So glad there's a transcript, I'm not an Egyptologist.
2012-11-12 01:10:43 PM
2 votes:
The lost reply:

Dear A (stands for Asshole) Lincoln,

You do not break up with me, gorilla face. I break up with you. The idea that you thought I might want to marry your country, no-money-having ass would be funny if it weren't so pathetic. As for moving to that hick burg where you half-assedly practice shystering, I wouldn't take a dump in Springfield, Ill., if I'd just eaten a bushel of green apples.

fark YOU!

Your most faithful and obedient servant,
Mary Owens
2012-11-12 01:02:59 PM
2 votes:

The Irresponsible Captain: +1 for being forced to learn cursive in school.


Indeed. We may be among the last generation who can actually read the words written by historical greats in their own personal expressive handwriting. What's the Tea Party going to do if its own people can't actually read the original US Constitution, written in the genuine hand of our Founding Fathers?

/JK.We all know they don't read it anyway.
2012-11-12 01:00:25 PM
2 votes:

oldfarthenry: hdhale: He didn't exactly go for hot chicks, did he?

Men chose chicks for their "sturdiness" (not beauty) back then. Remember, ladies had to fart-out around ten kids in hopes that two or three of them made it to adulthood.
Twas a cruel existence.


Not unlike modern day Canada.
2012-11-12 12:04:55 PM
2 votes:
I was so hoping this was from the Republican Party.
2012-11-12 12:03:47 PM
2 votes:
its fake.
Theres no fresh vampire blood on the letter.
2012-11-12 11:45:28 AM
2 votes:
Like a stake through the heart
2012-11-12 01:34:56 PM
1 votes:

mbillips: They married them for money if they could get away with it. George Washington didn't marry Martha for her birthin' hips; he married her because she was the richest widow in Virginia. Fortunately, they hit it off.


That and the inbreeding. Sweet, sweet Virginia inbreeding.
2012-11-12 12:10:31 PM
1 votes:
dating was too complicated back then. today, all you have to do is change your facebook status to "single."
2012-11-12 12:05:17 PM
1 votes:
He still doesn't have any black friends
 
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