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(Cracked)   For those of you who are trying to think of more entertaining races to run besides a marathon, here are five crazy ones for you to consider   (cracked.com) divider line 23
    More: Amusing, Green River Narrows Kayak Race, United Kingdom Special Forces, formal organization, Mapquest, marathons, bicycle racing  
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860 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 12 Nov 2012 at 1:44 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-12 12:01:17 PM
My friend tried to talk me into the Spartan Race. After watching the video of people getting knocked down with those stupid q-tip looking things, I said 'no bloody way'. Looks like a good way to blow out a knee.

I'll stick to my regular running and tri races, thank you.

/Vegas marathon in less than 3 weeks!
 
2012-11-12 12:09:27 PM
You can also try Hashing.. Loads of fun!
 
2012-11-12 12:26:03 PM
There is nothing fun about running, unless you happen to be chasing a hot lady. And even then the fun doesn't really start until you catch her.
 
2012-11-12 12:57:25 PM
I'm up to 15 miles in my RnR Arizona training, and I'm already worried that my elderly knees can't take much more. I think I'll pass on these. Although I have to say, this got a genuine LOL out of me:

(our favorite is the "turd's nest," which we assume refers to when a McDonald's employee loses her hair weave in the toilet),
 
2012-11-12 01:56:13 PM
The 'gladiators' at the Spartan Race aren't that big a deal - which is not to say the races aren't tough. Lots of fun though.

Also - regarding chasing a hot lady, I have observed that on even moderately warm days the preferred outfits tend to be as little as possible for both men and women. Given that the population signing up for these races tends to be very, very fit - let's just say that the post-event cleanup is basically porn.
 
2012-11-12 01:59:41 PM
Tough Mudder is awesome. I did two this year with one more scheduled for December. The one Spartan Race I tried was definitely harder (3 trips up a black diamond ski slope), but also lacked a lot of the fun elements of TM and just went for artificial difficulty.
 
2012-11-12 02:26:09 PM
My brother did a Tough Mudder.
 
2012-11-12 02:26:17 PM

turtle553: Tough Mudder is awesome. I did two this year with one more scheduled for December. The one Spartan Race I tried was definitely harder (3 trips up a black diamond ski slope), but also lacked a lot of the fun elements of TM and just went for artificial difficulty.


I did Tough Mudder earlier this year, the obstacles weren't that bad, it was running up and down black diamond ski slopes at 7000' that killed me. I'm doing Spartan in February, so I'll be able to compare the two.

I really liked TM, though, and recommend it if you're into obstacle races or mud runs or whatever and are bored with the 5k ones that are pretty common now.
 
2012-11-12 02:28:42 PM

Jster422: The 'gladiators' at the Spartan Race aren't that big a deal - which is not to say the races aren't tough. Lots of fun though.

Also - regarding chasing a hot lady, I have observed that on even moderately warm days the preferred outfits tend to be as little as possible for both men and women. Given that the population signing up for these races tends to be very, very fit - let's just say that the post-event cleanup is basically porn.


In some cases, it is porn. During my very first tri I was in transition getting ready for the bike portion. As I headed out of the transition area there was some guy bare-ass naked right there. He just dropped all his gear for everyone to see. It was a little disturbing.
 
2012-11-12 02:50:59 PM

turtle553: Tough Mudder is awesome. I did two this year with one more scheduled for December. The one Spartan Race I tried was definitely harder (3 trips up a black diamond ski slope), but also lacked a lot of the fun elements of TM and just went for artificial difficulty.


So...what about the Electroshock? The run itself is right up my alley, but I have to say I'm scared piss-less of the shock. After running the 8 mile Spartan in 35 degree weather a couple of weeks ago, I'm none too thrilled about the idea of the ice obstacles either, but at least they don't include loss of motor control.
 
2012-11-12 03:17:39 PM

Jster422: turtle553: Tough Mudder is awesome. I did two this year with one more scheduled for December. The one Spartan Race I tried was definitely harder (3 trips up a black diamond ski slope), but also lacked a lot of the fun elements of TM and just went for artificial difficulty.

So...what about the Electroshock? The run itself is right up my alley, but I have to say I'm scared piss-less of the shock. After running the 8 mile Spartan in 35 degree weather a couple of weeks ago, I'm none too thrilled about the idea of the ice obstacles either, but at least they don't include loss of motor control.


I haven't gotten any bad shocks. There are usually 2 events where you can get shocked, one as you run across the finish line and one where you crawl through water under dangling lines(electric eel). The shocks feel a little worse than static shock from touching a doorknob after walking across carpet in the winter, but I haven't tried going through shirtless. The one key with the ice dumpster (arctic enema), you just have to start running as soon as you get out to warm up.

I found the one thing with TM above Spartan is that they make the obstacles interesting with some little twists and are much better at locations of water/aid stations.
 
2012-11-12 03:32:05 PM

turtle553: Jster422: turtle553: Tough Mudder is awesome. I did two this year with one more scheduled for December. The one Spartan Race I tried was definitely harder (3 trips up a black diamond ski slope), but also lacked a lot of the fun elements of TM and just went for artificial difficulty.

So...what about the Electroshock? The run itself is right up my alley, but I have to say I'm scared piss-less of the shock. After running the 8 mile Spartan in 35 degree weather a couple of weeks ago, I'm none too thrilled about the idea of the ice obstacles either, but at least they don't include loss of motor control.

I haven't gotten any bad shocks. There are usually 2 events where you can get shocked, one as you run across the finish line and one where you crawl through water under dangling lines(electric eel). The shocks feel a little worse than static shock from touching a doorknob after walking across carpet in the winter, but I haven't tried going through shirtless. The one key with the ice dumpster (arctic enema), you just have to start running as soon as you get out to warm up.

I found the one thing with TM above Spartan is that they make the obstacles interesting with some little twists and are much better at locations of water/aid stations.


Neat, thanks - I'd already mostly talked myself into signing up for TM this coming year, they'll be in my area in May which should be good weather for it. There are five more in adjoining states, so in the back of my head I'm thinking of just doing a season pass - but there's always 2014.
 
2012-11-12 03:35:28 PM

xynix: You can also try Hashing.. Loads of fun!


I can't run very far anymore. Is there a gimp-a-long version of hashing that'll still get me to the real reason for hashing?
 
2012-11-12 03:58:28 PM

Marcus Aurelius: There is nothing fun about running, unless you happen to be chasing a hot lady. And even then the fun doesn't really start until you catch her.


Funny you say that, I had a scenario like that involving a shot-together little ginger girl.

/definitely a CSB!
 
2012-11-12 04:38:21 PM
Arrowhead135 and TransIowa didn't make it on the list. Too bad, 'cause they're crazy races, too!
 
2012-11-12 04:48:59 PM

turtle553: I haven't gotten any bad shocks. There are usually 2 events where you can get shocked, one as you run across the finish line and one where you crawl through water under dangling lines(electric eel). The shocks feel a little worse than static shock from touching a doorknob after walking across carpet in the winter, but I haven't tried going through shirtless


I caught one of the stronger ones against the side of my head, it literally knocked me for a loop and had residual effects for probably half an hour afterward. I saw a couple of other people, and you can find videos of this on YouTube, that got knocked down in the middle of the lines and couldn't get back up because one of the powerful ones was directly above them. When they tried to stand, it would hit them in the back and knock them back into the mud.
 
2012-11-12 05:12:41 PM
Lame. Get back to me when you're ready to try the Sri Chinmoy 3,100 Mile Race: 45+ consecutive 8 hour days running around a single block in Brooklyn.
 
2012-11-12 05:22:33 PM

timujin: turtle553: I haven't gotten any bad shocks. There are usually 2 events where you can get shocked, one as you run across the finish line and one where you crawl through water under dangling lines(electric eel). The shocks feel a little worse than static shock from touching a doorknob after walking across carpet in the winter, but I haven't tried going through shirtless

I caught one of the stronger ones against the side of my head, it literally knocked me for a loop and had residual effects for probably half an hour afterward. I saw a couple of other people, and you can find videos of this on YouTube, that got knocked down in the middle of the lines and couldn't get back up because one of the powerful ones was directly above them. When they tried to stand, it would hit them in the back and knock them back into the mud.


I have to agree with them being painful. It felt like I was kicked in the heart when I ran through one line. If I do this race again, I will gladly walk right around that section. The rest of the Tough Mudder is great though. The obstacles aren't that tough and it is a good step up from the warrior dash type 5k races.
 
2012-11-12 06:10:44 PM

Smeggy Smurf: xynix: You can also try Hashing.. Loads of fun!

I can't run very far anymore. Is there a gimp-a-long version of hashing that'll still get me to the real reason for hashing?


There is no time limit.. Many of the runners only run on weekends or every other weekend. You'll be with other people that can't run very fast. I have shiat knees so I don't push it too hard.. Usually come in at the bottom of the pack but the reward is the same :)
 
2012-11-12 11:40:28 PM

xynix: Smeggy Smurf: xynix: You can also try Hashing.. Loads of fun!

I can't run very far anymore. Is there a gimp-a-long version of hashing that'll still get me to the real reason for hashing?

There is no time limit.. Many of the runners only run on weekends or every other weekend. You'll be with other people that can't run very fast. I have shiat knees so I don't push it too hard.. Usually come in at the bottom of the pack but the reward is the same :)


Perhaps I should indulge in a few down downs with the local hashers.

My eyes have seen the terror of the cumming of the Lord
He was spewing white hot jizm
down the street a river roared
He was beating on his pecker
Such a mighty thick schlong
his sperm keep swimming on!

/my contribution to the hashers everywhere
 
2012-11-13 07:09:50 AM
true tough guys (and girls) compete in the Lombard Street Crazy Races. i saw video of full grown adults on childrens plastic wheel toys competing to get to the bottom of the crazy curvy road first. frickin' hilarious, and sadly with much damage to oversize limbs poking out from tiny toy rides.
 
2012-11-13 10:15:33 AM

Zapheod2222: timujin: turtle553: I haven't gotten any bad shocks. There are usually 2 events where you can get shocked, one as you run across the finish line and one where you crawl through water under dangling lines(electric eel). The shocks feel a little worse than static shock from touching a doorknob after walking across carpet in the winter, but I haven't tried going through shirtless

I caught one of the stronger ones against the side of my head, it literally knocked me for a loop and had residual effects for probably half an hour afterward. I saw a couple of other people, and you can find videos of this on YouTube, that got knocked down in the middle of the lines and couldn't get back up because one of the powerful ones was directly above them. When they tried to stand, it would hit them in the back and knock them back into the mud.

I have to agree with them being painful. It felt like I was kicked in the heart when I ran through one line. If I do this race again, I will gladly walk right around that section. The rest of the Tough Mudder is great though. The obstacles aren't that tough and it is a good step up from the warrior dash type 5k races.


I watched a guy try to crawl through the final live-wire rather than sprint through.

Idiot.

He must've been zapped a good 40 times. All you saw and heard was "AHHHH!", then *splat*, face first into the mud until he pulled himself out at the end and just laid there in agony.
 
2012-11-14 08:24:26 PM

Marcus Aurelius: There is nothing fun about running, unless you happen to be chasing a hot lady. And even then the fun doesn't really start until you catch her.


I thought about creating a race like that, hopefully it will come into fruition soon.
 
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