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(Daily Mail)   Bad news: Researchers confirm size does matter. Good news: But only to some women and some types of orgasms: Best news: Your hand couldn't care less   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 54
    More: Interesting, Sexual Medicine, University of the West, scientific journals, orgasms, sexual behaviors, computer user satisfaction, sex life, penis length  
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12709 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Nov 2012 at 11:28 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-11-12 11:42:48 AM
11 votes:
I have a pretty small penis, but lately the warts have really helped add some extra girth and "texture".
2012-11-12 12:12:26 PM
6 votes:
#1)

Her: Damn, you've got a small penis.

Him: Damn you've got a huge snatch... Damn, you've got a huge snatch...

Her: You didn't have to say it twice.

Him: I didn't.

#2)

Her: Damn, you've got a small organ.

Him: Well, nobody warned me I'd be playing a cathedral...

#3)

Her: You've got a small dick.

Him: Then it won't bother you if I roll you over and play in the mud?
2012-11-12 11:53:47 AM
5 votes:

Jim from Saint Paul: Wait, you're saying women are difficult and picky?


No. What they missed is that women come in different, um, "capacities".

It's the last great taboo of human sexuality: Some women need 12 inches length and the thickness of a coke can to even reach both sides at the same time.

So remember... whenever a woman says, "I prefer big ones", she's really saying she has a huge, cavernous, baby bucket down there. Remember to strap a plank across your ass if you decide you want to go for it.
2012-11-12 12:05:22 PM
4 votes:

AverageAmericanGuy: Link


The average American penis is actually 14" long.

Just most of it is hidden in the fat pad.
2012-11-12 11:42:40 AM
4 votes:
Why is their such obsession over penis size, but no one gives a hoot about vagina tightness?

I've encountered some bigger than my first apartment.
2012-11-12 12:25:26 PM
3 votes:
So, did they mention that the average length of a vagina is between 3 and 4 inches... and it only expands, swells and curves the cervix out of the way when the woman is sexually arroused? So.. problem solved, small boys.... just make sure to keep her underwhelmed, and the small size won't matter...
2012-11-12 11:48:54 AM
3 votes:

Fark Reddit or bust: Can we stop farking around with this shiat research and find out where all the women I sleep with are hiding their clitori (clitorises? clitoriseses?) ?


You gotta stop dating Somolians, man.
2012-11-12 11:44:36 AM
3 votes:

nmemkha: Why is their such obsession over penis size, but no one gives a hoot about vagina tightness?

I've encountered some bigger than my first apartment.


Which, incidentally, was also a vagina.
2012-11-12 11:29:58 AM
3 votes:
images2.makefive.com
2012-11-12 12:44:21 PM
2 votes:

kiwimoogle84: Wangs wearing hats. I wonder if there's a tumblr for that.


As you wish.

opionator.files.wordpress.com
2012-11-12 12:07:33 PM
2 votes:

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I have a pretty small penis, but lately the warts have really helped add some extra girth and "texture".


Infected for your pleasure.
2012-11-12 11:57:39 AM
2 votes:

Jim from Saint Paul: Fark Reddit or bust: Can we stop farking around with this shiat research and find out where all the women I sleep with are hiding their clitori (clitorises? clitoriseses?) ?

OR JOKE #2:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x330]

I have found the woman of your dreams good sir.


To paraphrase Patton Oswalt: I would crawl inside her like a tauntaun.
2012-11-12 11:51:28 AM
2 votes:

Fark Reddit or bust: Can we stop farking around with this shiat research and find out where all the women I sleep with are hiding their clitori (clitorises? clitoriseses?) ?


OR JOKE #2:

upload.wikimedia.org

I have found the woman of your dreams good sir.
2012-11-12 11:49:32 AM
2 votes:

Fark Reddit or bust: Can we stop farking around with this shiat research and find out where all the women I sleep with are hiding their clitori (clitorises? clitoriseses?) ?


doyoulikelikeme.files.wordpress.com

*Feels your pain*
2012-11-12 11:41:44 AM
2 votes:
This does not matter for we all know the truth...THE FEMALE ORGASM IS A MYTH!
2012-11-12 11:33:56 AM
2 votes:
www.citybeat.com
2012-11-12 11:31:54 AM
2 votes:
This is why I only have sex with short girls.
2012-11-12 11:30:22 AM
2 votes:
It's not the size, it's how you use it. Besides, a talented mouth and hand goes a long way.
2012-11-12 07:36:27 PM
1 votes:
I think that, had I the time and skill, I should like to dress mine up as each of the eleven Doctors and take pictures.
2012-11-12 05:44:27 PM
1 votes:

kiwimoogle84: Hokay, where were we?

Oh yeah.

Not a single weiner in a hat/shotglass photo so far. I am disappoint. :P


Yeah! I'm her first!

NSFW 
2012-11-12 05:43:43 PM
1 votes:

kiwimoogle84: Hokay, where were we?

Oh yeah.

Not a single weiner in a hat/shotglass photo so far. I am disappoint. :P


j-walkblog.com
2012-11-12 05:23:17 PM
1 votes:
"It's weird that pineapple supposedly makes semen taste better. Yet semen makes pineapple taste terrible!"
-Harris's Foam Corner
2012-11-12 05:13:17 PM
1 votes:

kiwimoogle84: Then the end of the second day...


So...what are you doing Wednesday evening?
2012-11-12 03:50:36 PM
1 votes:

FSTFKL: SkunkWerks: kiwimoogle84: but my bones don't work that way

Assuming I'm understanding who's pitching and who's catching here, I'm curious to know how your bones can make enough room for a baby, but not a fist.
[snip]

One of the things that happens to women when they are pregnant is that the ligaments that hold their pelvises together loosen so that there is room for a baby. Sometimes it goes wrong, things loosen up that the women have trouble walking, sometimes things go wrong and the baby won't fit through. It's a good thing we have modern medicine now.


Pffft, no pregnancy has resulted in death for the mother in modern history, because science.
2012-11-12 02:58:18 PM
1 votes:

kiwimoogle84: Also, ability to make me snort various fluids out my nose laughing. Biggest turn on EVER.


See, you need to be above average size to do that.
2012-11-12 02:54:10 PM
1 votes:
I'll probably get in trouble for this but, it's too funny to pass up.

www.demotivationalposters.org
2012-11-12 02:30:42 PM
1 votes:

SkunkWerks: E_Henry_Thripshaws_Disease: anyway, luckily i'm built like a redwood tree, long and wide, amirite

Don't forget hundreds of years old.


And filled with wildlife.
2012-11-12 02:22:46 PM
1 votes:

poison_amy: Because of the sweet, sweet reciprocity.


poison_amy: I'm feeling generous and AWish today


3.bp.blogspot.com
2012-11-12 01:57:18 PM
1 votes:

kiwimoogle84: I'm very tight due to years of catching softball and kegels


There's a joke in there about softballs, but I'm ashamed to make it.

Time for another lunch break.
2012-11-12 01:33:14 PM
1 votes:

ferretman: Women are extremely 'flexible' down there...my last GF (real not imaginary) was able to be fisted.


I think my vagina screamed in horror.
2012-11-12 01:31:15 PM
1 votes:

ferretman: Women are extremely 'flexible' down there...my last GF (real not imaginary) was able to be fisted.


Yeah um, I'm flexible and can take a pounding, but my bones don't work that way. That would hurt me. And you might get donkey punched in the process.

If you break your toy, you can't play with it anymore.
2012-11-12 01:08:40 PM
1 votes:

kiwimoogle84: My point exactly. Besides, big or small, it's rare that I finish during the act itself unless I help out. Just the way I'm wired.


I have no problem with this.
2012-11-12 12:41:00 PM
1 votes:

kiwimoogle84: MoronLessOff: kiwimoogle84: And Moron, the mental image I got from that garnered an OJ spit take. My sister thinks I'm insane now.

I'm should just go ahead and save a pic for wie.

Pics or it...uh...yeah.

Anyone who wants to take a picture of your wang wearing a shotglass hat, feel free. EIP. It'd be amusing.


Simply a shotglass? Why not go classy with a top hat and monocle? Now *that* would be amusing.
2012-11-12 12:40:19 PM
1 votes:

MoronLessOff: kiwimoogle84: I'm should just go ahead and save a pic for wie.

Is it ok if it's a double shot?


Even a highball glass would do. Provided you could fill it, I guess.

Wangs wearing hats. I wonder if there's a tumblr for that.
2012-11-12 12:36:29 PM
1 votes:
FTA: If you are a man who has been cursed with a less than generous handout in the pants department ...

The pants department of my local department store doesn't provide free handouts.

So there.
2012-11-12 12:31:40 PM
1 votes:

kiwimoogle84: Tease a bit, change angles, use your hands during,


Well, it's just about time for my lunch break. I've got something to take care of.
2012-11-12 12:13:53 PM
1 votes:
Some women, get this, stick giant things in their vaginas and ruin themselves for normal sized penises. I mean really, ladies, a baby can fit in there.
2012-11-12 12:12:55 PM
1 votes:

argylez: Woot -for above average!

I've conducted a lot of market research here, and size is a component for sure. ALL women are different. I've been able to make even the most frigid of them multi-orgasmic. Some of it is size, some of it is the motion of the ocean, some of it is positions...but once you find their groove, it's easy to keep hitting it.

/CSB


How YOU doin'?
2012-11-12 12:12:28 PM
1 votes:
Try having an above sized member but lacking somewhere to stick it. Doesn't really count worth a damn then.

I've always considered that it might be easier if men could do the same as women with large boobies do. I mean, well endowed girls just put them on show to draw in men. Perhaps us men who are well endowed could find a way to show off our size to draw in the ladies. Cause I'll be damned if I can figure another way to draw them in.

/Not sure if dick cleavage is possible
//Also kinda sounds horrible
2012-11-12 12:09:57 PM
1 votes:
i.dailymail.co.uk

What a woman having an orgasm might look like, although we're not 100% sure...
2012-11-12 12:03:42 PM
1 votes:
assets.sbnation.com
2012-11-12 11:56:48 AM
1 votes:

Jim from Saint Paul: Fark Reddit or bust: Can we stop farking around with this shiat research and find out where all the women I sleep with are hiding their clitori (clitorises? clitoriseses?) ?

OR JOKE #2:

[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x330]

I have found the woman of your dreams good sir.


Don't look directly into their eyes. Don't take your eyes off of it. And most important of all: DON'T BLINK.
2012-11-12 11:52:37 AM
1 votes:
i guess i need to change my fark handle to: "your above average maint. man"
2012-11-12 11:44:18 AM
1 votes:

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I have a pretty small penis, but lately the warts have really helped add some extra girth and "texture".


They're called love speed bumps
2012-11-12 11:42:48 AM
1 votes:

kiwimoogle84: It's not the size, it's how you use it.


I use mine as a drink mixer. Am I doing it right?
2012-11-12 11:38:56 AM
1 votes:

TFA: "Women are not only be able to orgasm from both vaginal and clitoral stimulation,"


25.media.tumblr.com

 


I'm sorry, Messrs. Gayle and Jones, but the diagnosis is incontrovertible.

2012-11-12 11:38:42 AM
1 votes:

steklo: This is why I only have sex with short girls.


This is why I only have sex with girls who have short vaginas.

And goats. Because, man, goats just don't give a fark.
2012-11-12 11:36:43 AM
1 votes:

AverageAmericanGuy: Defining 'average' as the length of a £20 note, which is 5.8 inches (14.9 cm), the researchers asked women if they were more likely to orgasm vaginally with a longer-than-average or shorter-than-average penis.

The average American penis is 5.1 inches. Yet American men are ranked top in bed.

Link

Maybe British men just suck at sex.

.
Interesting, I don't look Congolese.
2012-11-12 11:36:38 AM
1 votes:

AverageAmericanGuy: Defining 'average' as the length of a £20 note, which is 5.8 inches (14.9 cm), the researchers asked women if they were more likely to orgasm vaginally with a longer-than-average or shorter-than-average penis.

The average American penis is 5.1 inches. Yet American men are ranked top in bed.

Link

Maybe British men just suck at sex.


5.1 inches? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! If that's all I had I'd become a monk.
2012-11-12 11:35:21 AM
1 votes:
Is this where we disagree with the article and boast about our sexual prowess?

Because I like to think of myself as a multi-talented lover. If your only love-tool is your dick, you're missing out on several opportunities to give her multiple orgasms.
2012-11-12 11:33:32 AM
1 votes:

kiwimoogle84: It's not the size, it's how you use it. Besides, a talented mouth and hand goes a long way.


Girth is a variable that makes or breaks this statement.
2012-11-12 11:32:38 AM
1 votes:
Defining 'average' as the length of a £20 note, which is 5.8 inches (14.9 cm), the researchers asked women if they were more likely to orgasm vaginally with a longer-than-average or shorter-than-average penis.

The average American penis is 5.1 inches. Yet American men are ranked top in bed.

Link

Maybe British men just suck at sex.
2012-11-12 11:32:15 AM
1 votes:
So really it's not the size of the boat or the motion in the ocean, it's really the size of the ocean that the boat is in?
2012-11-12 11:31:10 AM
1 votes:
From the institute of NO SH*T, SHERLOCK.
 
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