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(Daily Mail)   High-powered banker files for divorce after her husband refused to recreate scenes from Fifty Shades of Grey   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 182
    More: Fail, Ann Summers, English law, Ex-wife  
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18144 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Nov 2012 at 12:01 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



182 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-11-12 12:03:57 PM
Whats a, "staid sex life"? for 1200 Alex.
 
2012-11-12 12:04:24 PM
BUt poop comes from there... Also, I don't want to play with your butt.
 
2012-11-12 12:04:27 PM
fifty shades of Gray
 
2012-11-12 12:04:44 PM
Two submissives should never get married. Especially power bottoms. They'll be happier apart.
 
2012-11-12 12:05:19 PM
Can't judge this man without pics of the missus.
 
2012-11-12 12:07:33 PM
Unlike many Daily Fail subjects: sexual incompatibility is a real thing.
 
2012-11-12 12:07:34 PM
Hell I can't even get my wife to do it with the lights on.
 
2012-11-12 12:07:54 PM
Say what you want, but those books turned my wife from "Let's leave the lights off" into a goddamn sexual tyranosaur superfreak. I mean holy shiat.
 
2012-11-12 12:09:16 PM
Honey, the book is terrible.
 
2012-11-12 12:09:24 PM
Can't find someone to have an affair with? Wtf is the point if being a high powered exec then?

/ besides the money
 
2012-11-12 12:10:18 PM
Good for her, instead of just cheating on him because he sucked in bed she gave him a chance and he failed so she's leaving.
 
2012-11-12 12:10:27 PM

ISubmittedThisYesterdayWithAMuchFunnierHeadline: Say what you want, but those books turned my wife from "Let's leave the lights off" into a goddamn sexual tyranosaur superfreak. I mean holy shiat.


Say what you will about that book (and boy do I have a lot of not so pleasant things to say about it) at least it was a mainstream excuse/permission slip for women to go out and explore things outside of their typical comfort zone in the bedroom.
 
2012-11-12 12:12:34 PM

Tat'dGreaser: Good for her, instead of just cheating on him because he sucked in bed she gave him a chance and he failed so she's leaving.


Unfortunately if a man did the same thing everyone would be screaming about what a pig a he is.

Hey, people. Sex is just as vital a part of marriage as communication and financials. If you don't like it then marry a human Ken doll.
 
2012-11-12 12:12:39 PM
Someone who isn't a historical foot note in a textbook from the 60's actually made a classy decision?

/ unpossible
 
2012-11-12 12:13:48 PM
Can't wait to hear in the news about the abusive farks she replaces him with. Maybe she'll end up blackmailed and/or murdered for her money.
 
2012-11-12 12:14:09 PM
Sad Frumpy Twat Finds Reason To Divorce Limp Puff.

Money isnt everything.
 
2012-11-12 12:14:12 PM

BAMFinator: Hell I can't even get my wife to do it with the lights on.


Why'd you marry her?
 
2012-11-12 12:16:26 PM

KatjaMouse: ISubmittedThisYesterdayWithAMuchFunnierHeadline: Say what you want, but those books turned my wife from "Let's leave the lights off" into a goddamn sexual tyranosaur superfreak. I mean holy shiat.

Say what you will about that book (and boy do I have a lot of not so pleasant things to say about it) at least it was a mainstream excuse/permission slip for women to go out and explore things outside of their typical comfort zone in the bedroom.


See, when my wife expressed a desire to read it my first thought was "hey, it may have terrible writing but there is a large potential upside"
Some of my friends have observed this same behavior in their wives.

But nope, my wife is impervious to said books, apparently. Zero change observed.
 
2012-11-12 12:18:22 PM

WeenerGord: Can't wait to hear in the news about the abusive farks she replaces him with. Maybe she'll end up blackmailed and/or murdered for her money.


Right... because all guys into bondage and flogging are abusive asses. All of them. No exception.
 
2012-11-12 12:18:59 PM
Another fake story from the Daily Mail. No names? Sounds legit.
 
2012-11-12 12:19:17 PM
fozziewazzi:

Can't judge this man without pics of the missus.

Maybe she's as ugly as the biatch who wrote the book.

Ugly fat chicks with no self respect will let you do all kinds of mean shiat to them just to get any attention at all. They'll even encourage it if you don't make them pay every time you order pizza. You learn this before you're 18 if you ever peek out from under Mom's skirt. I'd rather read Wikipedia than put up with such women, and I'll bet so would her husband. 

Ugly fat chicks should go ahead and become Lesbian Feminists in high school while they still have a chance of success at that. By the time you're 40 not even other ugly fat Lesbian Feminists will want you.
 
2012-11-12 12:19:26 PM

fozziewazzi: Can't judge this man without pics of the missus.


She can call me. If she's a pooch, I won't open the kennel door.

www.fugly.com
 
2012-11-12 12:19:34 PM
That book is the greatest thing to happen for husbands everywhere since anything ever.
 
2012-11-12 12:20:20 PM
Wow, never knew the 50 Shades author was so nasty looking.
 
2012-11-12 12:20:53 PM

ISubmittedThisYesterdayWithAMuchFunnierHeadline: Say what you want, but those books turned my wife from "Let's leave the lights off" into a goddamn sexual tyranosaur superfreak. I mean holy shiat.


My wife has it on hold at the library, which itself is weird because she works there and her coworkers can see what she checks out and she's usually self-conscious about that. I'm somewhat intimidated by the prospects of the ideas that book will give her.
 
2012-11-12 12:21:25 PM

The One True TheDavid: Ugly fat chicks with no self respect will let you do all kinds of mean shiat to them just to get any attention at all. They'll even encourage it if you don't make them pay every time you order pizza. You learn this before you're 18 if you ever peek out from under Mom's skirt. I'd rather read Wikipedia than put up with such women, and I'll bet so would her husband.


[Not-Sure-If-Serious.jpg]
 
2012-11-12 12:22:33 PM

KatjaMouse: Right... because all guys into bondage and flogging are abusive asses. All of them. No exception.


If you get sexual pleasure out of beating someone, then yes - you're abusive. That's almost by-definition shiate right there. It ranks right along with "if you have 12 eggs, you have a dozen eggs."
 
2012-11-12 12:23:10 PM
KatjaMouse:

Say what you will about that book (and boy do I have a lot of not so pleasant things to say about it) at least it was a mainstream excuse/permission slip for women to go out and explore things outside of their typical comfort zone in the bedroom.

You think it's a good idea for women to be treated like that? You even think they should volunteer for it? Damn. If you're a woman (which I assume you are) you must be desperate; if you're a man (which can happen) you must really hate women.
 
2012-11-12 12:23:39 PM

KatjaMouse: WeenerGord: Can't wait to hear in the news about the abusive farks she replaces him with. Maybe she'll end up blackmailed and/or murdered for her money.

Right... because all guys into bondage and flogging are abusive asses. All of them. No exception.



Do tell us all about the lovely, kind, goodhearted, sensitive men who tie you up and whip your ass bloody, and how much that satisfies and fulfills you, in a good way.
 
2012-11-12 12:23:44 PM

MDGeist: Wow, never knew the 50 Shades author was so nasty looking.


It's not far off from what I expected. It was a Twilight fan-fic starting out, for one. And while there are a couple of intriguing ideas in there I'd like to take to the bedroom this book betrays the author as being someone who has no clue as to how most BDSM relationships work and is an exercise in her own fantasies. The normal/healthy ones at least.
 
2012-11-12 12:25:11 PM
Serves us right for giving them the vote a letting them out of the kitchen. The world was better off when their reading was confined to cook books, Good Housekepping and Jane Austen.

Now women's expectation levels have been raised to unreasonable levels and this is a natural fallout.
 
2012-11-12 12:25:28 PM

KatjaMouse: MDGeist: Wow, never knew the 50 Shades author was so nasty looking.

It's not far off from what I expected. It was a Twilight fan-fic starting out, for one. And while there are a couple of intriguing ideas in there I'd like to take to the bedroom this book betrays the author as being someone who has no clue as to how most BDSM relationships work and is an exercise in her own fantasies. The normal/healthy ones at least.


how are You/you doing? ;-)
 
2012-11-12 12:26:29 PM
KatjaMouse:

Hey, people. Sex is just as vital a part of marriage as communication and financials.

Too bad what that book depicts isn't sex, it's women with horrifically low self-esteem and the impotent cowards who prey on them.
 
2012-11-12 12:26:43 PM
Amateurish and poorly written. The Sleeping Beauty books on the other hand...that was some kinda key to a lock found DEEP in the subconscious.
 
2012-11-12 12:27:27 PM

WeenerGord: KatjaMouse: WeenerGord: Can't wait to hear in the news about the abusive farks she replaces him with. Maybe she'll end up blackmailed and/or murdered for her money.

Right... because all guys into bondage and flogging are abusive asses. All of them. No exception.

Do tell us all about the lovely, kind, goodhearted, sensitive men who tie you up and whip your ass bloody, and how much that satisfies and fulfills you, in a good way.



And while you are at it, tell us how getting tied up and asswhipped and raped is empowering for you as a woman, and how all those feminists, who fought to protect future women from that kind of abuse, were just ugly wallflowers, who didn't know how to have a good time, like you do.
 
2012-11-12 12:28:02 PM
Wicked Chinchilla:

But nope, my wife is impervious to said books, apparently. Zero change observed.


Good for her. She should grow even more self-respect and divorce you.
 
2012-11-12 12:31:50 PM
Oh snap crap!
 
2012-11-12 12:32:40 PM

BAMFinator: Hell I can't even get my wife to do it with the lights on.


Funny....she insists on having them on with me
 
2012-11-12 12:35:13 PM

The One True TheDavid: KatjaMouse:

Say what you will about that book (and boy do I have a lot of not so pleasant things to say about it) at least it was a mainstream excuse/permission slip for women to go out and explore things outside of their typical comfort zone in the bedroom.

You think it's a good idea for women to be treated like that? You even think they should volunteer for it? Damn. If you're a woman (which I assume you are) you must be desperate; if you're a man (which can happen) you must really hate women.


Have you even read the farking book? It's pretty tame.
 
2012-11-12 12:36:06 PM

Kit Fister: how are You/you doing? ;-)


Spoken for, sorry. Oh, and to the other guys up-thread, I wear in the pants in our relationship outside of the bedroom. Roles are reversed inside and that's just how we roll.

Expressing what you like to yourself and your partner is in itself an empowering thing. It's wholly feminist in its principle. When your partner, however, takes advantage of those likes and kinks you're treading in dangerous waters. Someone who ignores your safe word, or violates the boundaries you expressed before hand is not considered an attractive partner by any stretch of the imagination. On the plus side since kinky men outnumber kinky women, women with sense know they have their pick of the lot so men know better than to scare the desirable ladies away and because local communities are so tight knit, one or two ex partners bad mouthing you would shut you out for life.

50 Shades of Grey has a lot of actual BDSM folks banging their heads against the wall... especially when they encounter people who think that's what actually happens in such relationships.
 
2012-11-12 12:36:36 PM

The One True TheDavid: Wicked Chinchilla:

But nope, my wife is impervious to said books, apparently. Zero change observed.

Good for her. She should grow even more self-respect and divorce you.


You sound awfully, awfully lonely... you can tell us, we won't judge.
 
2012-11-12 12:36:40 PM
This goes right back to where most arguments go.

People who don't understand something are criticizing it and telling people that they are wrong for engaging in it. BDSM isn't for every one but, for some people it is an extremely rewarding outlet for meeting their needs. You can't put everyone into the same box because as with everything there are varying extremes even within what most outsiders would desire to lump together as one.

There are sadists, there are masochists, there are people who absolutely need to be on one end or the other and it doesn't have much at all to do with the self-esteem they hold outside of their sexual lives.

My advice to most of you is this : If you aren't involved and don't want to be, shut up and stop criticizing. If you are involved and love it, don't expect the close-minded to accept it. If you're anywhere else, then you might have a problem. I don't endorse relationships where there are activities that aren't consensual.
 
2012-11-12 12:37:08 PM

WeenerGord: WeenerGord: KatjaMouse: WeenerGord: Can't wait to hear in the news about the abusive farks she replaces him with. Maybe she'll end up blackmailed and/or murdered for her money.

Right... because all guys into bondage and flogging are abusive asses. All of them. No exception.

Do tell us all about the lovely, kind, goodhearted, sensitive men who tie you up and whip your ass bloody, and how much that satisfies and fulfills you, in a good way.


And while you are at it, tell us how getting tied up and asswhipped and raped is empowering for you as a woman, and how all those feminists, who fought to protect future women from that kind of abuse, were just ugly wallflowers, who didn't know how to have a good time, like you do.


I'm personally not into bondage or any of that stuff but it's just a fetish like any other odd thing people might be into that gets them off. Does some guy jerking off to feet mean something beyond him jerking off to feet? If some chick likes to get spanked why does it have to mean something outside of just her liking to get spanked.
 
2012-11-12 12:37:33 PM

gregory311: The One True TheDavid: You think it's a good idea for women to be treated like that? You even think they should volunteer for it? Damn. If you're a woman (which I assume you are) you must be desperate; if you're a man (which can happen) you must really hate women.

Have you even read the farking book? It's pretty tame.


It's the relationship that's messed up. And the woman in that book is an infantile idiot.
 
2012-11-12 12:37:34 PM

KatjaMouse: Oh, and to the other guys up-thread, I wear in the pants in our relationship outside of the bedroom. Roles are reversed inside and that's just how we roll.


I really thought they were masterful trolls. Who knows.
 
2012-11-12 12:39:27 PM

thecpt: KatjaMouse: Oh, and to the other guys up-thread, I wear in the pants in our relationship outside of the bedroom. Roles are reversed inside and that's just how we roll.

I really thought they were masterful trolls. Who knows.


I was thinking that at first too but I think there was some sincere feelings behind the sentiments.
 
2012-11-12 12:40:12 PM
my gf said it was kind of boring and badly written.

must suck for you guys if 50 shades of grey was the catalyst for you to guys to even touch each other.
 
2012-11-12 12:40:14 PM
Check out ellora's cave.
 
2012-11-12 12:41:41 PM

The One True TheDavid: KatjaMouse:

Hey, people. Sex is just as vital a part of marriage as communication and financials.

Too bad what that book depicts isn't sex, it's women with horrifically low self-esteem and the impotent cowards who prey on them.


While I'll admit the book is terrible. It's a complete misrepresentation of the S&M community. That being said, just because a girl likes a little slap and tickle doesn't mean she has low self esteem. Not everyone is into the same type of sex your interested in.

/thank god.
 
2012-11-12 12:41:51 PM

Wicked Chinchilla: KatjaMouse: ISubmittedThisYesterdayWithAMuchFunnierHeadline: Say what you want, but those books turned my wife from "Let's leave the lights off" into a goddamn sexual tyranosaur superfreak. I mean holy shiat.

Say what you will about that book (and boy do I have a lot of not so pleasant things to say about it) at least it was a mainstream excuse/permission slip for women to go out and explore things outside of their typical comfort zone in the bedroom.

See, when my wife expressed a desire to read it my first thought was "hey, it may have terrible writing but there is a large potential upside"
Some of my friends have observed this same behavior in their wives.

But nope, my wife is impervious to said books, apparently. Zero change observed.


I'm still trying to understand the appeal, because the writing is pretty bad. The writer doesn't seem to come from the BDSM community, as there's lots of "wrong" things going on in the book. It's questionable whether the author actually was into this at all. If she was "into" it the book would probably get mighty technical about being Shibari tied-up and gush about the fiber and weave of the rope used and the type of knots and emphasis on proper degree of tension. Well, fiction is fiction of course, and factual accounts often don't sell like fictionalized ones. But again, the writing is just comically bad at points.

Is it just that once you've reached a critical mass of press attention, you're "good" no matter what the actual product is? Well no shocker there. I'm just wondering if there's any real "win" hidden in the writing itself, or if it's JUST press. I only skimmed a copy and was just "WTF???" all the way through.
 
2012-11-12 12:42:59 PM

WeenerGord: KatjaMouse: WeenerGord: Can't wait to hear in the news about the abusive farks she replaces him with. Maybe she'll end up blackmailed and/or murdered for her money.

Right... because all guys into bondage and flogging are abusive asses. All of them. No exception.

Do tell us all about the lovely, kind, goodhearted, sensitive men who tie you up and whip your ass bloody, and how much that satisfies and fulfills you, in a good way.


I think I see the problem with your view of the world...
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-11-12 12:43:20 PM
 
2012-11-12 12:45:17 PM
While it isn't great literature, and has fueled a spate of releases of the fast-follow variety, the book has served an important function. I won't exactly call it a permission slip, but its popularity has reached the point that no one can really pretend that only deviants read it or are interested in its contents.

For a long time, the pop-culture sexual landscape in the US was dominated by a more or less explicitly purtinanical ideal which told people that their urges were shameful or wrong, and led to frustration and unhappiness. In more recent times, this itwisted sexual idealogy has faced strong opposition from the third-wave feminist sexual dogma, which, in stark contrast, tells people that their urges are shameful and wrong, and leads to frustration and unhappiness. The concept that sex might not be a political or theological statement, the thought that it might, in fact, be a thing that people do with each other for their own reasons, is anathema to both, since it denies the demagogue control.

Kink exists on a spectrum, as does nearly any behavior which has human participants. If you look up, you'll see some examples of people jousting at straw men, insisting that anyone who wishes to do anything out of the 'ordinary' or 'normal' is an extreme deviant who either hates women, hates themselves, or both. People are people, and some of them will like things you don't. If you don't want to see, don't look.
 
2012-11-12 12:47:34 PM

Oznog: Is it just that once you've reached a critical mass of press attention, you're "good" no matter what the actual product is? Well no shocker there. I'm just wondering if there's any real "win" hidden in the writing itself, or if it's JUST press. I only skimmed a copy and was just "WTF???" all the way through.


Twi-Hards discovered it, women were titillated, Kindles boosted sales so you wouldn't have to explain away a book cover and that's what happened. Sort of like how Secretary became a mainstream BDSM movie (and despite how much I like that one, I have problems with the premise as well) that couples were somewhat comfortable enough to initiate a conversation about it.

Then the adult novelty stores and porn industry jumped on the bandwagon and regular clinics were suddenly full of bored housewives expecting to jump straight into Medieval style dungeons.
 
2012-11-12 12:49:15 PM
Late, but relevant:

i48.tinypic.com
 
2012-11-12 12:49:30 PM
He should have told her she needed to be about 20 years younger for him to be into it.
 
2012-11-12 12:53:14 PM
He should have bought her a copy of "Screw the Roses, Give me the Thorns" so they could have both learned about safe, respectful S&M instead of the abusive crap from "50 Shades"
 
2012-11-12 12:53:38 PM
She tried something she had read in that book FIFTY SHADES OF GREY BY AUTHOR EL JAMES she bought sexy underwear.
 
2012-11-12 12:58:52 PM

alizeran: Late, but relevant:


Yep. Typical.
 
2012-11-12 01:01:33 PM

KatjaMouse: The One True TheDavid:

Ugly fat chicks with no self respect will let you do all kinds of mean shiat to them just to get any attention at all. They'll even encourage it if you don't make them pay every time you order pizza. You learn this before you're 18 if you ever peek out from under Mom's skirt. I'd rather read Wikipedia than put up with such women, and I'll bet so would her husband.

[Not-Sure-If-Serious.jpg]


I'm very very serious. Why bother with a woman with no self-respect? If she's no good for herself what good can she do me?

In real life I avoid people who inspire me even to talk mean to them like I do here on Fark, and on Fark dimwits are encouraged to Ignore me.

I might have anger problems and a bad attitude but if I want a punching bag there's always the Y.

What kind of society do we have if such behavior is regarded as sexy by its victims? Susan Brownmiller might overstate the case in places but I can't say she's mistaken; indeed maybe she turned out to be a pollyanna optimist. Maybe in a few years I'll think the same of Andrea Dworkin.

Come ON, people. If I can raise my consciousness anybody can. Or do you want a society where "I only did what women really want; look at the books they read!" will get a torturing rapist acquitted? 

Free advice: lose a little weight and choose less horrific "entertainments." Don't make a virtue of settling for what's easiest to get from men who can't get better. 

Oh and by the way, a man who thinks he needs to tie up and whip his partner to get an erection should try Viagra or Cialis instead. If that doesn't work he should pay for prettier "escorts" or, better yet, give it up entirely. That's how evolution works in normal species: limpdick genes don't get passed on. Suck it up; it's for the best.
 
2012-11-12 01:01:35 PM

ramblinwreck: alizeran: Late, but relevant:

Yep. Typical.


I agree with the sentiment. No matter the gender of yourself or your partner oral sex should come standard with every model. If it bothers you that much you have every right to trade it in for something else. Men are allowed to b*tch and moan about not getting sex as women should be to from their respective partners who may be suffering from a low libido.

At least the subject of TFA didn't run around with a new sugar baby.
 
2012-11-12 01:01:38 PM

KatjaMouse: Oznog: Is it just that once you've reached a critical mass of press attention, you're "good" no matter what the actual product is? Well no shocker there. I'm just wondering if there's any real "win" hidden in the writing itself, or if it's JUST press. I only skimmed a copy and was just "WTF???" all the way through.

Twi-Hards discovered it, women were titillated, Kindles boosted sales so you wouldn't have to explain away a book cover and that's what happened. Sort of like how Secretary became a mainstream BDSM movie (and despite how much I like that one, I have problems with the premise as well) that couples were somewhat comfortable enough to initiate a conversation about it.

Then the adult novelty stores and porn industry jumped on the bandwagon and regular clinics were suddenly full of bored housewives expecting to jump straight into Medieval style dungeons.


"He hit me hard enough to break skin but it didn't feel good!"

"Those whips HURT, I kicked him in the balls afterwards!"

"I'd never really looked at my husband, I didn't know that male chastity devices needed to be sized!"

...And on and on and on.
 
2012-11-12 01:03:25 PM
hasty ambush:

Serves us right for giving them the vote a letting them out of the kitchen. The world was better off when their reading was confined to cook books, Good Housekepping and Jane Austen.

Now women's expectation levels have been raised to unreasonable levels and this is a natural fallout.


Now I'm not sure if you're serious. Please enlighten me.
 
2012-11-12 01:03:44 PM
The reason for their boring sex life is she's probably a middle-aged cow.

Also, leather and ball gags ain't for everyone...
 
2012-11-12 01:05:29 PM

TheotherMIguy: ...And on and on and on.


Sex Nerd Sandra did an entertaining podcast a few months ago titled 50 Shades of Cray Cray. The guest pro-domme articulated every problem I had with that book... that I never got around to finishing because OMG what a sh*t fest.
 
2012-11-12 01:06:56 PM

BAMFinator: Hell I can't even get my wife to do it with the lights on.


I can. Hey, nice bowling trophy, BTW.
 
2012-11-12 01:07:00 PM

halleyscomet: He should have bought her a copy of "Screw the Roses, Give me the Thorns" so they could have both learned about safe, respectful S&M instead of the abusive crap from "50 Shades"


Will check this out.
 
2012-11-12 01:07:03 PM

Odd Bird: WeenerGord: KatjaMouse: WeenerGord: Can't wait to hear in the news about the abusive farks she replaces him with. Maybe she'll end up blackmailed and/or murdered for her money.

Right... because all guys into bondage and flogging are abusive asses. All of them. No exception.

Do tell us all about the lovely, kind, goodhearted, sensitive men who tie you up and whip your ass bloody, and how much that satisfies and fulfills you, in a good way.

I think I see the problem with your view of the world...
[4.bp.blogspot.com image 425x284]



Is that supposed to be an endorsement of how wonderful abusive relationships are? Oh no, it's a personal attack on anyone who suggests that abusive relationships are not what's best for anyone. Maybe it's you who are locked up, trapped in an abusive situtation, and peeking out through a keyhole at the world.

Is your keyhole picture a cry for help? You want me to unlock the door and let you out? OK. The key, and the lock, are in your own mind.  Now you have the power to free yourself.
 
2012-11-12 01:07:38 PM
flsprtsgod:

Amateurish and poorly written. The Sleeping Beauty books on the other hand...that was some kinda key to a lock found DEEP in the subconscious.

Which should be treated by trained professionals, if you can't raise your consciousness yourself or with your peers.

My self-respect increased greatly when I went on antidepressants. And I was never so pathetic as to encourage anyone to tie me up and spank me.

Just because it's "in the subconscious" doesn't mean it's good.
 
2012-11-12 01:08:38 PM

KatjaMouse: TheotherMIguy: ...And on and on and on.

Sex Nerd Sandra did an entertaining podcast a few months ago titled 50 Shades of Cray Cray. The guest pro-domme articulated every problem I had with that book... that I never got around to finishing because OMG what a sh*t fest.


I've got a former domme friend who's in the "fun toys" industry now, I never did ask her what she though about the book. I personally don't think my wife or I will read it, we're creative enough, heh.
 
2012-11-12 01:09:17 PM
The One True TheDavid: I'm very very serious. Why bother with a woman with no self-respect? If she's no good for herself what good can she do me?

In real life I avoid people who inspire me even to talk mean to them like I do here on Fark, and on Fark dimwits are encouraged to Ignore me.

I might have anger problems and a bad attitude but if I want a punching bag there's always the Y.

What kind of society do we have if such behavior is regarded as sexy by its victims? Susan Brownmiller might overstate the case in places but I can't say she's mistaken; indeed maybe she turned out to be a pollyanna optimist. Maybe in a few years I'll think the same of Andrea Dworkin.

Come ON, people. If I can raise my consciousness anybody can. Or do you want a society where "I only did what women really want; look at the books they read!" will get a torturing rapist acquitted?

Free advice: lose a little weight and choose less horrific "entertainments." Don't make a virtue of settling for what's easiest to get from men who can't get better.

Oh and by the way, a man who thinks he needs to tie up and whip his partner to get an erection should try Viagra or Cialis instead. If that doesn't work he should pay for prettier "escorts" or, better yet, give it up entirely. That's how evolution works in normal species: limpdick genes don't get passed on. Suck it up; it's for the best.


i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-11-12 01:09:31 PM

gregory311: The One True TheDavid: KatjaMouse:

Say what you will about that book (and boy do I have a lot of not so pleasant things to say about it) at least it was a mainstream excuse/permission slip for women to go out and explore things outside of their typical comfort zone in the bedroom.

You think it's a good idea for women to be treated like that? You even think they should volunteer for it? Damn. If you're a woman (which I assume you are) you must be desperate; if you're a man (which can happen) you must really hate women.

Have you even read the farking book? It's pretty tame.


I know. That's its one redeeming virtue.
 
2012-11-12 01:10:06 PM

WeenerGord: Odd Bird: WeenerGord: KatjaMouse: WeenerGord: Can't wait to hear in the news about the abusive farks she replaces him with. Maybe she'll end up blackmailed and/or murdered for her money.

Right... because all guys into bondage and flogging are abusive asses. All of them. No exception.

Do tell us all about the lovely, kind, goodhearted, sensitive men who tie you up and whip your ass bloody, and how much that satisfies and fulfills you, in a good way.

I think I see the problem with your view of the world...
[4.bp.blogspot.com image 425x284]


Is that supposed to be an endorsement of how wonderful abusive relationships are? Oh no, it's a personal attack on anyone who suggests that abusive relationships are not what's best for anyone. Maybe it's you who are locked up, trapped in an abusive situtation, and peeking out through a keyhole at the world.

Is your keyhole picture a cry for help? You want me to unlock the door and let you out? OK. The key, and the lock, are in your own mind.  Now you have the power to free yourself.


Like with many other subjects, you're an ignorant judgmental idiot. One that I'll no longer be reading.
 
2012-11-12 01:10:48 PM

BubbaJones: BAMFinator: Hell I can't even get my wife to do it with the lights on.

Funny....she insists on having them on with me


Is it odd that two dudes named Jones jumped on that?
 
2012-11-12 01:12:30 PM

gregory311: The One True TheDavid: Wicked Chinchilla:

But nope, my wife is impervious to said books, apparently. Zero change observed.

Good for her. She should grow even more self-respect and divorce you.

You sound awfully, awfully lonely... you can tell us, we won't judge.


Nope. I'd rather do without than settle for what's easiest to get.

Walking is better than riding a moped: you keep your own weight down that way.
 
2012-11-12 01:14:46 PM

WeenerGord: Is that supposed to be an endorsement of how wonderful abusive relationships are? Oh no, it's a personal attack on anyone who suggests that abusive relationships are not what's best for anyone. Maybe it's you who are locked up, trapped in an abusive situtation, and peeking out through a keyhole at the world.

Is your keyhole picture a cry for help? You want me to unlock the door and let you out? OK. The key, and the lock, are in your own mind.  Now you have the power to free yourself.


Your view of the S&M world is narrow, by choice or circumstance. You may address this if you wish or continue about your life, ignorant on the subject, content with things as they are.
 
2012-11-12 01:16:12 PM

The One True TheDavid: I'm very very serious.


Why do you believe that being a bisexual twink-chasing former transgender suddenly makes you an expert on all things alternative and kink? Your absurd pronouncements pulled from your ass and threadshiatting aren't creating any kind of discussion, so why bother?
 
2012-11-12 01:17:10 PM

SquiggsIN: Like with many other subjects, you're an ignorant judgmental idiot. One that I'll no longer be reading.


i931.photobucket.com 

/Go get your dom to give you a good hard spanking so you can have yourself a good cry.... maybe you'll feel better about horrible old me!
 
2012-11-12 01:17:22 PM

The One True TheDavid: KatjaMouse: The One True TheDavid:

Ugly fat chicks with no self respect will let you do all kinds of mean shiat to them just to get any attention at all. They'll even encourage it if you don't make them pay every time you order pizza. You learn this before you're 18 if you ever peek out from under Mom's skirt. I'd rather read Wikipedia than put up with such women, and I'll bet so would her husband.

[Not-Sure-If-Serious.jpg]

I'm very very serious. Why bother with a woman with no self-respect? If she's no good for herself what good can she do me?

In real life I avoid people who inspire me even to talk mean to them like I do here on Fark, and on Fark dimwits are encouraged to Ignore me.

I might have anger problems and a bad attitude but if I want a punching bag there's always the Y.

What kind of society do we have if such behavior is regarded as sexy by its victims? Susan Brownmiller might overstate the case in places but I can't say she's mistaken; indeed maybe she turned out to be a pollyanna optimist. Maybe in a few years I'll think the same of Andrea Dworkin.

Come ON, people. If I can raise my consciousness anybody can. Or do you want a society where "I only did what women really want; look at the books they read!" will get a torturing rapist acquitted? 

Free advice: lose a little weight and choose less horrific "entertainments." Don't make a virtue of settling for what's easiest to get from men who can't get better. 

Oh and by the way, a man who thinks he needs to tie up and whip his partner to get an erection should try Viagra or Cialis instead. If that doesn't work he should pay for prettier "escorts" or, better yet, give it up entirely. That's how evolution works in normal species: limpdick genes don't get passed on. Suck it up; it's for the best.


The truly sad thing is that this guy doesn't realize his own sexism. He has clearly abandoned the radical notion that women are people, and instead hews to an orthodoxy which holds that a human with a vagina is a victim by nature, and must be carefully protected from making politically wrong choices about her own body.

To trade in shame and censure in an attempt to force conformity is neither enlightened nor new, and to parrot these kinds of tenets is less a sign of a raised consciousness than of a head wedged firmly in its owner's ass. It's tired, it's boring, and it has failed in the modern culture, to the relief of all concerned.
 
2012-11-12 01:19:52 PM

KatjaMouse: thecpt: KatjaMouse: Oh, and to the other guys up-thread, I wear in the pants in our relationship outside of the bedroom. Roles are reversed inside and that's just how we roll.

I really thought they were masterful trolls. Who knows.

I was thinking that at first too but I think there was some sincere feelings behind the sentiments.


shiat. looks like you were right. Off to calibrate my troll meter.
 
2012-11-12 01:21:21 PM

Odd Bird: WeenerGord: Is that supposed to be an endorsement of how wonderful abusive relationships are? Oh no, it's a personal attack on anyone who suggests that abusive relationships are not what's best for anyone. Maybe it's you who are locked up, trapped in an abusive situtation, and peeking out through a keyhole at the world.

Is your keyhole picture a cry for help? You want me to unlock the door and let you out? OK. The key, and the lock, are in your own mind.  Now you have the power to free yourself.

Your view of the S&M world is narrow, by choice or circumstance. You may address this if you wish or continue about your life, ignorant on the subject, content with things as they are.



And just how does attacking me for not automatically knowing how wonderful SM is, tell me how wonderful SM is? Eh? Answer the farking question I posed the first time. Tell us about your wonderful Dominant Masters or Mistresses and how they make your life better by abusing you.

Answer the question! That's an order!
 
2012-11-12 01:22:06 PM
I'm just going to state it like this, and if certain individuals want to keep fighting me on it, I'm just going to bow it because whatever.

Place yourself in a hypothetical room with 9 hypothetical people. Do you react to pain or pleasure sensations the exact same way as these other individuals do? Does everyone in this room like getting oral sex? Some people don't care one way or another if they receive it (and yes, men are in this group too). Some people don't like giving it but man do they ever get hard by vicariously experiencing pleasure through their partner. How about skin contact? Maybe someone really needs additional surface level blood flow to get things going. Then there's that guy standing next to you who's known that he was totally into other dudes when he was 13. Then on the other side of you is another guy who also at age 13 fantasized about being tied up by a woman in tuxedo because he has a weird Marlene Dietrich thing.

You know that the most important sex organ is in the body? I'll give you a hint. It's somewhere between the ears.

Most adults can tell the difference between happy fun time and real abuse/power tripping. It's the people who purposefully go for the latter that are messed up.
 
2012-11-12 01:26:33 PM

KatjaMouse: Kit Fister: how are You/you doing? ;-)

Spoken for, sorry. Oh, and to the other guys up-thread, I wear in the pants in our relationship outside of the bedroom. Roles are reversed inside and that's just how we roll.

Expressing what you like to yourself and your partner is in itself an empowering thing. It's wholly feminist in its principle. When your partner, however, takes advantage of those likes and kinks you're treading in dangerous waters. Someone who ignores your safe word, or violates the boundaries you expressed before hand is not considered an attractive partner by any stretch of the imagination. On the plus side since kinky men outnumber kinky women, women with sense know they have their pick of the lot so men know better than to scare the desirable ladies away and because local communities are so tight knit, one or two ex partners bad mouthing you would shut you out for life.

50 Shades of Grey has a lot of actual BDSM folks banging their heads against the wall... especially when they encounter people who think that's what actually happens in such relationships.


boundaries and safe words are for sissies.


>evil laugh
 
2012-11-12 01:29:35 PM

ragnaroknroll: boundaries and safe words are for sissies.


>evil laugh


www.fakes.net 

evil laugh indeed.
 
2012-11-12 01:30:09 PM

The One True TheDavid: Ugly fat chicks with no self respect will let you do all kinds of mean shiat to them just to get any attention at all. They'll even encourage it if you don't make them pay every time you order pizza.


They make you pay pay for your own pizza? You must have a very tiny penis.
 
2012-11-12 01:31:08 PM
SquiggsIN:

BDSM isn't for every one but, for some people it is an extremely rewarding outlet for meeting their needs.

Not every so-called need should be met. And if that's the only way you have of finding sexual fulfillment that's truly pathetic.

Imagine this: "Child molestation isn't for every one but, for some people it is an extremely rewarding outlet for meeting their needs."

Wouldn't you be revolted by that statement? (Please oh please say yes.)

Of course it could be said that some abused & molested children find pleasure & happiness in relationships with pedophiles, that it's really much nicer & more liberating than we'd imagine, and that people who've never tried it shouldn't judge.

Oh, wait, it is said, not only by pedophiles but by kids who put it as "But Uncle Ernie loves me! He took me to Disney World!"

Many children who've been abused and/or molested grow up to think such behavior is normal and even sexy, and many children who didn't even get that kind of attention envy the ones who got Uncle Ernie's "love."

This phenomenon is not a good thing, in spite of what "the Media" tells you to control your thinking and behavior and get rich at your expense.
 
2012-11-12 01:31:47 PM

iheartscotch: Someone who isn't a historical foot note in a textbook from the 60's actually made a classy decision?

/ unpossible


Yes, airing out your ex-husband's sexual inadequacy to the news media is certainly "classy".....
 
2012-11-12 01:33:12 PM
Some people care way too much about what other folks do in their spare time.
 
2012-11-12 01:33:33 PM
Headso:

If some chick likes to get spanked why does it have to mean something outside of just her liking to get spanked.

"Why does she like to get spanked?" is the question. The next one is "What can be done to raise her self-esteem?"
 
2012-11-12 01:34:29 PM

KatjaMouse: And while there are a couple of intriguing ideas in there I'd like to take to the bedroom this book betrays the author as being someone who has no clue as to how most BDSM relationships work and is an exercise in her own fantasies. The normal/healthy ones at least.



So the author is not right to express her fantasies, in writing, in a fiction book, but when you express your fantasies, in real life activities, in your close knit BDSM clique, it is normal and healthy. Right.

Still waiting to hear anyone tell me what it is about their BDSM that is so good and makes their life better in any way. So far, only hearing shrill screams of outrage that I would even dare to ask the question.
 
2012-11-12 01:36:05 PM

The Evil That Lies In The Hearts Of Men: Some people care way too much about what other folks do in their spare time.


and yet some people seem hell bent on making sure others know what they do in their spare time.
 
2012-11-12 01:37:38 PM

Tat'dGreaser: Good for her, instead of just cheating on him because he sucked in bed she gave him a chance and he failed so she's leaving.


How much is he getting in the divorce settlement? Because if it was a guy making that much money that said his wife refused to roleplay or do anything to spice up their listless sex life you can sure bet the courts would award her half of everything the guy currently has plus half of everything he'll ever make until the end of time.
 
2012-11-12 01:38:06 PM

KatjaMouse: Oznog: Is it just that once you've reached a critical mass of press attention, you're "good" no matter what the actual product is? Well no shocker there. I'm just wondering if there's any real "win" hidden in the writing itself, or if it's JUST press. I only skimmed a copy and was just "WTF???" all the way through.

Twi-Hards discovered it, women were titillated, Kindles boosted sales so you wouldn't have to explain away a book cover and that's what happened. Sort of like how Secretary became a mainstream BDSM movie (and despite how much I like that one, I have problems with the premise as well) that couples were somewhat comfortable enough to initiate a conversation about it.

Then the adult novelty stores and porn industry jumped on the bandwagon and regular clinics were suddenly full of bored housewives expecting to jump straight into Medieval style dungeons.


Well, the riddle I want an answer to:
Is it popular in spite of being terrible writing, or popular BECAUSE it's terrible writing?
 
2012-11-12 01:38:38 PM

The One True TheDavid: flsprtsgod:

Amateurish and poorly written. The Sleeping Beauty books on the other hand...that was some kinda key to a lock found DEEP in the subconscious.

Which should be treated by trained professionals, if you can't raise your consciousness yourself or with your peers.

My self-respect increased greatly when I went on antidepressants. And I was never so pathetic as to encourage anyone to tie me up and spank me.

Just because it's "in the subconscious" doesn't mean it's good.


Who said anything about tying up and spanking? The lock was more about her personal concepts of sex than anything else. My wife read a book and the sex got better. No abuse, no pain, nothing like that. I'm sorry that you've had such a difficult time, but not everyone is in the same situation and for some of us the text improves an already good relationship.
 
2012-11-12 01:39:00 PM
WeenerGord: And just how does attacking me for not automatically knowing how wonderful SM is, tell me how wonderful SM is? Eh? Answer the farking question I posed the first time. Tell us about your wonderful Dominant Masters or Mistresses and how they make your life better by abusing you.

Answer the question! That's an order!


shat, I got trolled...
 
2012-11-12 01:42:25 PM

The One True TheDavid: SquiggsIN:

BDSM isn't for every one but, for some people it is an extremely rewarding outlet for meeting their needs.

Not every so-called need should be met. And if that's the only way you have of finding sexual fulfillment that's truly pathetic.

Imagine this: "Child molestation isn't for every one but, for some people it is an extremely rewarding outlet for meeting their needs."

Wouldn't you be revolted by that statement? (Please oh please say yes.)

Of course it could be said that some abused & molested children find pleasure & happiness in relationships with pedophiles, that it's really much nicer & more liberating than we'd imagine, and that people who've never tried it shouldn't judge.

Oh, wait, it is said, not only by pedophiles but by kids who put it as "But Uncle Ernie loves me! He took me to Disney World!"

Many children who've been abused and/or molested grow up to think such behavior is normal and even sexy, and many children who didn't even get that kind of attention envy the ones who got Uncle Ernie's "love."

This phenomenon is not a good thing, in spite of what "the Media" tells you to control your thinking and behavior and get rich at your expense.


Consent required, those under 18 cannot legally consent. Animals cannot consent, invalids cannot consent, the mentally-incapacitated cannot consent, etc..

I'm not asking for your approval to be different. I'm asking you to take your head out of your arse and realize that your way of thinking doesn't entitle you to expect it from others.
 
2012-11-12 01:43:19 PM

WeenerGord: So the author is not right to express her fantasies, in writing, in a fiction book, but when you express your fantasies, in real life activities, in your close knit BDSM clique, it is normal and healthy. Right.


Well, one or two little ideas I never had for a crop was nice vs. signing a slave contract that the 'Master' for the most part violated time and time again in an aggressive manner are in no way comparable.

WeenerGord: Still waiting to hear anyone tell me what it is about their BDSM that is so good and makes their life better in any way.


Nothing quite like having the blood flow being brought up to the surface. Makes one more sensitive to slight touch. Even better when the person wielding the flogger pauses once in a while to make sure that his consenting partner is still consenting and is getting pleasure out of it.

Maybe Santa should bring you a bunny flogger. It's good for newbies who are intimidated by leather and the idea of pain.
 
2012-11-12 01:45:25 PM

foxyshadis: The One True TheDavid:

I'm very very serious.

Why do you believe that being a bisexual twink-chasing former transgender suddenly makes you an expert on all things alternative and kink? Your absurd pronouncements pulled from your ass and threadshiatting aren't creating any kind of discussion, so why bother?


Tell that to KatjaMouse, who showed us she can use the IMG tag.

I'm not a "former transgender" nor do I "chase twinks." You should read closer. And as far as "absurd pronouncements pulled from [my] ass" goes, I'm gratified that a few people out there dare to voice similar opinions; it gives me a wee bit of hope for our species' future.

So anyway. Why don't you click "Ignore this user" if you're so offended by my comments? Do you flatter yourself that I'd miss you?
 
2012-11-12 01:46:42 PM

udhq: iheartscotch: Someone who isn't a historical foot note in a textbook from the 60's actually made a classy decision?

/ unpossible

Yes, airing out your ex-husband's sexual inadequacy to the news media is certainly "classy".....


Was referring to the husband's refusal to do something, that I asume, felt demeaned his wife.
 
2012-11-12 01:46:54 PM

The One True TheDavid: gregory311: The One True TheDavid: Wicked Chinchilla:

But nope, my wife is impervious to said books, apparently. Zero change observed.

Good for her. She should grow even more self-respect and divorce you.

You sound awfully, awfully lonely... you can tell us, we won't judge.

Nope. I'd rather do without than settle for what's easiest to get.

Walking is better than riding a moped: you keep your own weight down that way.


Nah, I'd rather workout with my wife and let her read her slutty books.

It's a book, slim. A story.

You know, not real.
 
2012-11-12 01:48:16 PM

iheartscotch: udhq: iheartscotch: Someone who isn't a historical foot note in a textbook from the 60's actually made a classy decision?

/ unpossible

Yes, airing out your ex-husband's sexual inadequacy to the news media is certainly "classy".....

Was referring to the husband's refusal to do something, that I asume, felt demeaned his wife.


I was assuming it was because she opted for divorce instead of cheating.
 
2012-11-12 01:48:31 PM
I think we can guess the husbands Fark handle.
 
2012-11-12 01:48:34 PM
i.imgur.com
She even went through the effort to color code it.
 
2012-11-12 01:52:31 PM

farkingismybusiness: [i.imgur.com image 480x640]
She even went through the effort to color code it.


you should provide a color code and page/paragraph number for the rest of us k thx.
 
2012-11-12 01:54:17 PM

KatjaMouse: Maybe Santa should bring you a bunny flogger. It's good for newbies who are intimidated by leather and the idea of pain.



Not even if you begged me to use it on you. Do not want.

What happened to the recent thread with the photographs? The first one was of a scrawny unkrainian whore with aids and karposis lesions all over? Was that taken down? Anyway, using your logic, maybe we vanillas should all envy her? She looks like she has so much wonderful lovely pain, and she has had so much love.

/pitiful really.
 
2012-11-12 01:58:04 PM

WeenerGord: What happened to the recent thread with the photographs? The first one was of a scrawny unkrainian whore with aids and karposis lesions all over? Was that taken down? Anyway, using your logic, maybe we vanillas should all envy her? She looks like she has so much wonderful lovely pain, and she has had so much love.


I can't believe you're comparing consenting adults in relationships (whether coupled or NSA) who discuss boundaries and do the occasional trussing up and spanking to a victim of sex traffic.

Oh. Wait... I think I get it...

www.fugly.com
 
2012-11-12 02:04:28 PM

KatjaMouse: iheartscotch: udhq: iheartscotch: Someone who isn't a historical foot note in a textbook from the 60's actually made a classy decision?

/ unpossible

Yes, airing out your ex-husband's sexual inadequacy to the news media is certainly "classy".....

Was referring to the husband's refusal to do something, that I asume, felt demeaned his wife.

I was assuming it was because she opted for divorce instead of cheating.


That is also a valid point. Both are classy ways to deal with the issue.

/ although; they could have gone with the whole irreconcilable differences thing
 
2012-11-12 02:10:44 PM
If you didn't have the ability to explore your kink prior to being 41 and reading a shiatty novel, you can hardly blame your husband for everything. You were obviously a boring person who showed little interest in keeping your sex life alive up until that point.

Which doesn't mean you should be forced to stay married or anything, just that you ought to stand up and take equal responsibility for the lack of sexual fulfillment.

Headso: I'm personally not into bondage or any of that stuff but it's just a fetish like any other odd thing people might be into that gets them off. Does some guy jerking off to feet mean something beyond him jerking off to feet? If some chick likes to get spanked why does it have to mean something outside of just her liking to get spanked.


And this. You can't run around getting all Freudian with fetishes.
 
2012-11-12 02:13:59 PM

KatjaMouse: h. Wait... I think I get it...


Haha, the old "If they don't want me they must be gay" defense, lol.

How dare you suggest that ukrainian whore was trafficked? How do you know she wasn't fully in control of her consensual, NSA relationships? Just like you know the banker wife in TFA wasn't cheating?
 
2012-11-12 02:16:02 PM

KatjaMouse: Does everyone in this room like getting oral sex?


Probably.
 
2012-11-12 02:16:42 PM
Metraxis:

The truly sad thing is that this guy doesn't realize his own sexism. He has clearly abandoned the radical notion that women are people, and instead hews to an orthodoxy which holds that a human with a vagina is a victim by nature, and must be carefully protected from making politically wrong choices about her own body.

Um. NO.

I view women as people who for thousands of years have been victimized and encouraged to accept or even like it. Obviously it's still a rare woman who's stroing enough to resist that pressure -- which increases with every technological advance in "the Media" -- and I salute them.

Nor do I give a shiat what any adult does with their own body: if people insist on harming themselves or encouraging others to harm them they should be free to. Besides being basically socially libertarian, it gives me a bit of unfortunately pleasant schadenfreude to see people who are more farked in the head than I am; similarly, after feeling sad because it's proving hard to lose 30 extra pounds I can't help grinning at the sight of some guy who weighs 700 pounds being standed because his mobility scooter ran out of juice and his legs won't hold his weight.

In fact, if I gave freer reign to my "bad attitude" it would be easy to encourage these farked up people to get even worse off: it's so such easier to laugh at other people than to discipline myself. (That said, the only person who's allowed to "discipline" me is me: anybody else better be better armed.) You may regard my comments here as a slightly twisted kind of noblesse oblige, but one that would rather eliminate my sad noblesse. (In my egomaniacal moods I compare myself to Count Tolstoy the anarchist theoretician.)

But then I'm really not talking to you or die-hard devotees of "BDSM." The audience I hope to reach by this is people who are "on the fence," who feel drawn to that "lifestyle" but suspect they might deserve better, or who are looking for a way out of their degrading "personal life": they should be encouraged to do so, perhaps by reading feminist authors such as Susan Brownmiller and her colleagues of both sexes and many "orientations." (Most of whom by the way write more readably than I can manage, alas.) I'm tempted to construct a reading list but it's better to assume people are smart enough to use a search engine like Google, ain't it. 

As for you, please subscribe me to your Ignore list. Turn-about IS fair play.
 
2012-11-12 02:17:23 PM

WeenerGord: KatjaMouse: h. Wait... I think I get it...

Haha, the old "If they don't want me they must be gay" defense, lol.

How dare you suggest that ukrainian whore was trafficked? How do you know she wasn't fully in control of her consensual, NSA relationships? Just like you know the banker wife in TFA wasn't cheating?


plonk
 
2012-11-12 02:18:41 PM

Smackledorfer: KatjaMouse: Does everyone in this room like getting oral sex?

Probably.


t0.gstatic.com

Yay!
 
2012-11-12 02:19:30 PM

The One True TheDavid: Metraxis:

The truly sad thing is that this guy doesn't realize his own sexism. He has clearly abandoned the radical notion that women are people, and instead hews to an orthodoxy which holds that a human with a vagina is a victim by nature, and must be carefully protected from making politically wrong choices about her own body.

Um. NO.

I view women as people who for thousands of years have been victimized and encouraged to accept or even like it. Obviously it's still a rare woman who's stroing enough to resist that pressure -- which increases with every technological advance in "the Media" -- and I salute them.

Nor do I give a shiat what any adult does with their own body: if people insist on harming themselves or encouraging others to harm them they should be free to. Besides being basically socially libertarian, it gives me a bit of unfortunately pleasant schadenfreude to see people who are more farked in the head than I am; similarly, after feeling sad because it's proving hard to lose 30 extra pounds I can't help grinning at the sight of some guy who weighs 700 pounds being standed because his mobility scooter ran out of juice and his legs won't hold his weight.

In fact, if I gave freer reign to my "bad attitude" it would be easy to encourage these farked up people to get even worse off: it's so such easier to laugh at other people than to discipline myself. (That said, the only person who's allowed to "discipline" me is me: anybody else better be better armed.) You may regard my comments here as a slightly twisted kind of noblesse oblige, but one that would rather eliminate my sad noblesse. (In my egomaniacal moods I compare myself to Count Tolstoy the anarchist theoretician.)

But then I'm really not talking to you or die-hard devotees of "BDSM." The audience I hope to reach by this is people who are "on the fence," who feel drawn to that "lifestyle" but suspect they might deserve better, or who are looking for a way out of their degrading "personal life ...


Wow, someone has an unduly high opinion of himself. Yes, there are people abused that don't want or deserve it. You're in the wrong damned thread if you think that has anything to do with healthy BDSM.
 
2012-11-12 02:20:10 PM
I would love to have read a story from a male perspective...

"Your honor, I tried to re-ignite my sex life with my wife, but when I asked her to join me in recreating a scene from "Straight to the Ass Vol. 4", she refused. I believe this is unreasonable behavior and grounds for a divorce".

How do you think that would have gone over?
 
2012-11-12 02:20:41 PM

The Larch: The One True TheDavid:

Ugly fat chicks with no self respect will let you do all kinds of mean shiat to them just to get any attention at all. They'll even encourage it if you don't make them pay every time you order pizza.

They make you pay pay for your own pizza? You must have a very tiny penis.


Now that's funny. I needed a laugh.

Actually it's kind of Medium. But don't take my word: would you like to measure it?
 
2012-11-12 02:20:43 PM

DrunkenBob: Two submissives should never get married. Especially power bottoms. They'll be happier apart.

 
2012-11-12 02:22:12 PM

hasty ambush: The Evil That Lies In The Hearts Of Men:

Some people care way too much about what other folks do in their spare time.

and yet some people seem hell bent on making sure others know what they do in their spare time.


In MY spare time I hang out on Fark, and...

Anything more "intimate" is gonna cost ya.
 
2012-11-12 02:22:23 PM
Need to know what the chick looks like first.

If she looks like E.L. James, yeah, I wouldn't be too interested in spicing up the sex life either.
 
2012-11-12 02:24:55 PM

The One True TheDavid: Headso:

If some chick likes to get spanked why does it have to mean something outside of just her liking to get spanked.

"Why does she like to get spanked?" is the question. The next one is "What can be done to raise her self-esteem?"


Ass-uming a chick has low self esteem because she has a different fetish than you is pretty egotistical.
 
2012-11-12 02:28:49 PM

Headso: The One True TheDavid: Headso:

If some chick likes to get spanked why does it have to mean something outside of just her liking to get spanked.

"Why does she like to get spanked?" is the question. The next one is "What can be done to raise her self-esteem?"

Ass-uming a chick has low self esteem because she has a different fetish than you is pretty egotistical.


I think everyone who so much as enjoys procreation and procreation-related activities are just sad people with low self-esteem trying to a fill a void in their soul.
 
2012-11-12 02:32:01 PM
SquiggsIN:

Yes, there are people abused that don't want or deserve it. You're in the wrong damned thread if you think that has anything to do with healthy BDSM.

As I said earlier, '[m]any children who've been abused and/or molested grow up to think such behavior is normal and even sexy, and many children who didn't even get that kind of attention envy the ones who got Uncle Ernie's "love."'

Some fall in the first category, some in the second.

"Healthy BDSM?" Perhaps you're missing my point: there is no such thing.
 
2012-11-12 02:32:33 PM
Marriage is not about sex. It can be a wonderful part of it but if your marriage depends on sex you aren't in love and you both would be better off parting. It would be a biatch to be married for twenty years only to face a health problem that ends your sex life and have your spouse dump you because all you are to them is a moist hole or a hard ride. Damn people. If for better or worse or in sickness and health means nothing to you don't get married.
 
2012-11-12 02:33:51 PM

The One True TheDavid: foxyshadis: The One True TheDavid:

I'm very very serious.

Why do you believe that being a bisexual twink-chasing former transgender suddenly makes you an expert on all things alternative and kink? Your absurd pronouncements pulled from your ass and threadshiatting aren't creating any kind of discussion, so why bother?

Tell that to KatjaMouse, who showed us she can use the IMG tag.

I'm not a "former transgender" nor do I "chase twinks." You should read closer. And as far as "absurd pronouncements pulled from [my] ass" goes, I'm gratified that a few people out there dare to voice similar opinions; it gives me a wee bit of hope for our species' future.

So anyway. Why don't you click "Ignore this user" if you're so offended by my comments? Do you flatter yourself that I'd miss you?


So you make up shiat in other threads, and can't even keep track of it, for what? Sympathy? To impress people? I thought you were just insanely judgmental, but it turns out you're just a troll. You're right, bye.
 
2012-11-12 02:34:28 PM
Smackledorfer:

I think everyone who so much as enjoys procreation and procreation-related activities are just sad people with low self-esteem trying to a fill a void in their soul.

Actually so do I. But that's for a different thread, right?
 
2012-11-12 02:34:34 PM

BAMFinator: Hell I can't even get my wife to do it with the lights on.


Some people just don't like the spotlight.
 
2012-11-12 02:35:43 PM

DrunkenBob: Two submissives should never get married. Especially power bottoms. They'll be happier apart.


"Sexy Power Bottoms" is a good name for a girl band.
 
2012-11-12 02:36:15 PM

The One True TheDavid: SquiggsIN:

Yes, there are people abused that don't want or deserve it. You're in the wrong damned thread if you think that has anything to do with healthy BDSM.

As I said earlier, '[m]any children who've been abused and/or molested grow up to think such behavior is normal and even sexy, and many children who didn't even get that kind of attention envy the ones who got Uncle Ernie's "love."'

Some fall in the first category, some in the second.

"Healthy BDSM?" Perhaps you're missing my point: there is no such thing.


Arrogant? Check
Ignorant? Check
Judgmental? Check

You don't have to believe me but, there are thousands if not millions of people who disagree with you.
*If it weren't a thing it wouldn't exist, right.
 
2012-11-12 02:37:32 PM
My wife tells me the book is too poorly written to read.

We're good without it though.
 
2012-11-12 02:38:26 PM
Oh god... this thread...

crayfisher.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-11-12 02:42:17 PM
Awww... princess isn't getting what it wants emotionally, physically, sexually,.... breaking my farking heart you hypocritical gash. I don't see a lot of men in the same situation being able to engage in the same type of legal/financial reciprocation....

Suck it up liberated cooze - we've heard you roar in numbers too big to ignore and now it's time to deal with real life.
 
2012-11-12 02:43:51 PM

SquiggsIN: You don't have to believe me but, there are thousands if not millions of people who disagree with you. *If it weren't a thing it wouldn't exist, right.


Yes it's a real thing, that does not make it a healthy real thing.
 
2012-11-12 02:44:38 PM

KatjaMouse: Oh god... this thread...

[crayfisher.files.wordpress.com image 400x300]


They are pushing your buttons so well that I think you and the trolls ought to be using a safeword :P
 
2012-11-12 02:45:56 PM
Not to over-generalize, but every woman in history was/is a f*cking crazy loon with literal worms in her brain.

Do this once for sh*ts and giggles: Go to Craigslist - go to "Women Seeking Men" and simply count the number of ads that use the phrase "Grey" (as in 50 shades) or "Prince" (as in Prince Charming) or "Storybook Romance". Any of those is a strong indicator of what I call FID (Female Insanity Disorder). Now go back and check every ad that uses the term "BBW" (why not use the three-letter word that's honest? You know...FAT?). Now go back and mark every ad that says something like "Are there any REAL men?" or any other title that disdains men (while at the same time is SEEKING men) or similar. Now go back and see how many ads you have left. Pretty sparse, eh!

Basically it's genetic and is expressed solely in the female as it is present on all X chromosomes, while the Y chromosome has a gene to "shut off" the f*cking insanity gene -so it's never expressed in the male but always expressed in EVERY female.

Just ask Petreus (sp?).
 
2012-11-12 02:46:24 PM

Mija: Marriage is not about sex. It can be a wonderful part of it but if your marriage depends on sex you aren't in love and you both would be better off parting. It would be a biatch to be married for twenty years only to face a health problem that ends your sex life and have your spouse dump you because all you are to them is a moist hole or a hard ride. Damn people. If for better or worse or in sickness and health means nothing to you don't get married.


Sex is a basic human need, one of the best-known stress reducers, and masturbation works but only so long. There are still ways to please someone as an invalid (even dirty talk can work!), and the nuclear option is letting them get it elsewhere, but if you can't please them normally, won't or can't try other ways, and won't let them do anything to get off otherwise, then you've put that person that you say you love but really just want to control in an untenable position: Leave, cheat, or try to get into something you might not be interested in, like tantric meditation.

Plus, people often get divorced or break up because they grow in different directions, as seems to be the case here. I'm sure she still has love for her husband, but she's grown in a very different direction, and instead of making each others' lives miserable by trying to forcibly mold each other into what they've become, which means taking that misery out on everyone else around them as well, it's better for both to admit it, split, and find someone more compatible with whomever they've become. At early 40's, if they have any kids at all they're grown up. (Saw no mention of kids, which Daily Fail would automatically throw in as a salacious detail otherwise.)
 
2012-11-12 02:49:35 PM

foxyshadis: At early 40's, if they have any kids at all they're grown up.


Yea, there is no way anyone could have a kid after 30.
 
2012-11-12 02:50:54 PM

The One True TheDavid: Metraxis:

The truly sad thing is that this guy doesn't realize his own sexism. He has clearly abandoned the radical notion that women are people, and instead hews to an orthodoxy which holds that a human with a vagina is a victim by nature, and must be carefully protected from making politically wrong choices about her own body.

Um. NO.

I view women as people who for thousands of years have been victimized and encouraged to accept or even like it. Obviously it's still a rare woman who's stroing enough to resist that pressure -- which increases with every technological advance in "the Media" -- and I salute them.

Nor do I give a shiat what any adult does with their own body: if people insist on harming themselves or encouraging others to harm them they should be free to. Besides being basically socially libertarian, it gives me a bit of unfortunately pleasant schadenfreude to see people who are more farked in the head than I am; similarly, after feeling sad because it's proving hard to lose 30 extra pounds I can't help grinning at the sight of some guy who weighs 700 pounds being standed because his mobility scooter ran out of juice and his legs won't hold his weight.

In fact, if I gave freer reign to my "bad attitude" it would be easy to encourage these farked up people to get even worse off: it's so such easier to laugh at other people than to discipline myself. (That said, the only person who's allowed to "discipline" me is me: anybody else better be better armed.) You may regard my comments here as a slightly twisted kind of noblesse oblige, but one that would rather eliminate my sad noblesse. (In my egomaniacal moods I compare myself to Count Tolstoy the anarchist theoretician.)

But then I'm really not talking to you or die-hard devotees of "BDSM." The audience I hope to reach by this is people who are "on the fence," who feel drawn to that "lifestyle" but suspect they might deserve better, or who are looking for a way out of their degrading "personal life ...


For not giving a shiat about what peoplr do with their own bodies, he seems to have devoted an awful lot of words to it. You'll also note that he can't even defend the ideas he espouses, insisting that others read peope who can make this nonsense sound more reasonable. The problem though, is that it's not reasonable. It's not even new. It's just new wallpaper on the old idea that there is a 'right' way to have sex, and that deviation from this righteous path by two consenting and competent adults constitutes a crime against some god, or the people, or women, or whatever.

Based on the behavior, I'm going to guess that this guy is himself a victim of sorts, raised in a suburban environment among entirely his own kind and wholly unprepared for the kinds of BS you can find on a college campus. Someone called him a name for the crime of being a straight white guy with an insufficient guilt load and he fell for it. He probably even believes the things he types. it really is sad. If you want to see abuse that doesn't leave a mark you can see, it lies in making someone believe that they are bad, and in making them believe that this 'knowledge' makes them righteous.
 
2012-11-12 02:58:08 PM

The One True TheDavid: Metraxis:

The truly sad thing is that this guy doesn't realize his own sexism. He has clearly abandoned the radical notion that women are people, and instead hews to an orthodoxy which holds that a human with a vagina is a victim by nature, and must be carefully protected from making politically wrong choices about her own body.

Um. NO.

I view women as people who for thousands of years have been victimized and encouraged to accept or even like it. Obviously it's still a rare woman who's stroing enough to resist that pressure -- which increases with every technological advance in "the Media" -- and I salute them.

Nor do I give a shiat what any adult does with their own body: if people insist on harming themselves or encouraging others to harm them they should be free to. Besides being basically socially libertarian, it gives me a bit of unfortunately pleasant schadenfreude to see people who are more farked in the head than I am; similarly, after feeling sad because it's proving hard to lose 30 extra pounds I can't help grinning at the sight of some guy who weighs 700 pounds being standed because his mobility scooter ran out of juice and his legs won't hold his weight.

In fact, if I gave freer reign to my "bad attitude" it would be easy to encourage these farked up people to get even worse off: it's so such easier to laugh at other people than to discipline myself. (That said, the only person who's allowed to "discipline" me is me: anybody else better be better armed.) You may regard my comments here as a slightly twisted kind of noblesse oblige, but one that would rather eliminate my sad noblesse. (In my egomaniacal moods I compare myself to Count Tolstoy the anarchist theoretician.)

But then I'm really not talking to you or die-hard devotees of "BDSM." The audience I hope to reach by this is people who are "on the fence," who feel drawn to that "lifestyle" but suspect they might deserve better, or who are looking for a way out of their degrading "personal life ...


Out of sheer curiosity, have you been diagnosed with a mental illness? You mention egomaniacal moods, antidepressants, being farked in the head, and other things that cause me to wonder. Not that it affects your argument, but it seems like it would provide insight to your reasoning.

I'm curious, what do you think of fetishes such as Quentin Tarantino's foot fetish? Or a schoolgirl fetish? Or a french maid fetish? Or a bacon fetish? (Yes, it exists).

Is anything that isn't missionary position an artifact of the years of misogyny affecting women or just BDSM? I mean you claim for thousands of years that women have been encouraged to accept BDSM (I assume that's what you mean by it) or other things. While most society has been patriarchal in nature, how does that comport with any of the myriad of matriarchal societies where women were in control? How does trying to empower women agree with your "twisted noblesse oblige"?

/Not a personal fan of BDSM, but everyone has their fetishes
 
2012-11-12 02:58:32 PM

Metraxis: I'm going to guess that this guy is himself a victim of sorts,


I would have just summed it up as "troll" especially after he agreed with my sarcasm-thick hyperbole above.
 
2012-11-12 03:02:17 PM

SquiggsIN: Like with many other subjects, you're an ignorant judgmental idiot. One that I'll no longer be reading.


I think a bunch of us are being trolled.
 
2012-11-12 03:02:41 PM

KatjaMouse: Nothing quite like having the blood flow being brought up to the surface. Makes one more sensitive to slight touch.


This made me think of cutters who cut their skin with razor blades just to be able to feel something, anything..

People who cut because something is wrong or something has happened to them and they don't know how else to handle how they feel. Many of them have been abused, sexually, physically, or mentally. Some do it because they feel numb and want to feel the pain or just feel something. Others do it to punish themselves for something that they've done. The cuts range from little scratches that barely bleed to life threatening cuts or burns. Overall, its a way for someone who doesn't know what to do to express themselves.

but the second definition is hilarious

None of these other entries of emo cutters are real they all were probably made by no-lifed steroetypes who don't understand anything about emos or cutters.

LOL!  Just like this thread!

/ A hot bath would get blood to the surface without the humiliation of submitting to a flogging, of course. Why not just proudly proclaim that you get off on the humiliation of being abused?
 
2012-11-12 03:17:56 PM

fozziewazzi: I would love to have read a story from a male perspective...

"Your honor, I tried to re-ignite my sex life with my wife, but when I asked her to join me in recreating a scene from "Straight to the Ass Vol. 4", she refused. I believe this is unreasonable behavior and grounds for a divorce".

How do you think that would have gone over?


He would have been crucified by the media. Anyone who watches porn is a dirty pervert and deserves to be institutionalized.
 
2012-11-12 03:21:29 PM

SquiggsIN: This goes right back to where most arguments go.

People who don't understand something are criticizing it and telling people that they are wrong for engaging in it. BDSM isn't for every one but, for some people it is an extremely rewarding outlet for meeting their needs. You can't put everyone into the same box because as with everything there are varying extremes even within what most outsiders would desire to lump together as one.

There are sadists, there are masochists, there are people who absolutely need to be on one end or the other and it doesn't have much at all to do with the self-esteem they hold outside of their sexual lives.

My advice to most of you is this : If you aren't involved and don't want to be, shut up and stop criticizing. If you are involved and love it, don't expect the close-minded to accept it. If you're anywhere else, then you might have a problem. I don't endorse relationships where there are activities that aren't consensual.


So, someone doesn't like beating others or being beaten for sexual gratification and this automatically deems them "close minded".. ? Well ok then.
 
2012-11-12 03:22:21 PM

WeenerGord: KatjaMouse: Nothing quite like having the blood flow being brought up to the surface. Makes one more sensitive to slight touch.

This made me think of cutters who cut their skin with razor blades just to be able to feel something, anything..

People who cut because something is wrong or something has happened to them and they don't know how else to handle how they feel. Many of them have been abused, sexually, physically, or mentally. Some do it because they feel numb and want to feel the pain or just feel something. Others do it to punish themselves for something that they've done. The cuts range from little scratches that barely bleed to life threatening cuts or burns. Overall, its a way for someone who doesn't know what to do to express themselves.

but the second definition is hilarious

None of these other entries of emo cutters are real they all were probably made by no-lifed steroetypes who don't understand anything about emos or cutters.

LOL!  Just like this thread!

/ A hot bath would get blood to the surface without the humiliation of submitting to a flogging, of course. Why not just proudly proclaim that you get off on the humiliation of being abused?


You're just begging to get spanked!
 
2012-11-12 03:30:33 PM
Homosexuality icks me out. Therefore gays are evil and have no self-esteem.

This thread helps me remember why social conservatives need to be wiped from the face of the earth, for the good of mankind.
 
2012-11-12 03:30:47 PM

jfivealive: You're just begging to get spanked!


Oh, some people in this thread are begging for that, but not me. It's Katyamouse, Squiggy, Odd Ball and a few other freaks in this thread that you should be exchanging phone numbers with, nttawwt, Well, there is, but apparantly that's just my opinion, and I'm a big bad troll for suggesting that abuse is bad, mmkay.
 
2012-11-12 03:42:42 PM
I'm seeing a whole lot of "myself, about ten years ago, before I really understood" in this thread. It's really very enlightening.
 
2012-11-12 03:46:35 PM

WeenerGord: jfivealive: You're just begging to get spanked!

Oh, some people in this thread are begging for that, but not me. It's Katyamouse, Squiggy, Odd Ball and a few other freaks in this thread that you should be exchanging phone numbers with, nttawwt, Well, there is, but apparantly that's just my opinion, and I'm a big bad troll for suggesting that abuse is bad, mmkay.


Nah, you just don't seem to be able to either analogize or emphasize. Nothing wrong with that. Plenty of people have this problem.

That, and perhaps a better understanding of science and normal variations of human sexuality. That's less of a mental issue, and more of an educational issue. Nothing much wrong with that either. Plenty of people have holes in their knowledge that lead to unexamined beliefs that crash up against reality every so often. Fetishes of any sort are generally harmless. BDSM is a fetish involving two (or more) consenting adults who receive sexual satisfaction from sadomasochistic activities. That's not abuse, by any stretch of the imagination. Labeling it abuse does a disservice to those who have actually suffered abuse and provides a justification for the abusers by allowing them to rationalize their actions as consensual. I'm sure that's not your intent. Such logical fallacies as involving children or animals ignores the requirements that a party to any sexual act be able to give informed consent.

The real question is, why do you find yourself so averse to this particular fetish? I might assume, and I do hope I'm correct, that you don't have a problem with any of the more mainstream fetishes such as role-play, costumes, toys, or any of the other "tamer" fetishes. If you do have such a problem, then I have to assume that you don't understand what a healthy sexual anything is, and we can go our separate ways. However, if you don't, then why do you have a problem with this particular fetish? Is it a lack of understanding? Does it scare you? Does it remind you of personal abuse? Is it something you're interested in, but your social mores prevent you from indulging yourself so you rail against it?

Reasonable people can disagree, however, reasonable people tend to have to agree on reality, and I tend to trust the psychological professionals when it comes to what is healthy sexual fetish. After all, I doubt that anyone could find that a man who finds a woman more sexually arousing in a corset, high heels, or stockings has an abnormal fetish. The same thing can be said of healthy BDSM. So why do you have a problem?
 
2012-11-12 03:52:03 PM

Mega Steve: fozziewazzi: I would love to have read a story from a male perspective...

"Your honor, I tried to re-ignite my sex life with my wife, but when I asked her to join me in recreating a scene from "Straight to the Ass Vol. 4", she refused. I believe this is unreasonable behavior and grounds for a divorce".

How do you think that would have gone over?

He would have been crucified by the media. Anyone who watches porn is a dirty pervert and deserves to be institutionalized.


Part of the larger societal views on sex - erotica that appeals to men is dirty and damaging. Erotica that appeals to women promotes a healthy sex life.
 
2012-11-12 03:52:50 PM

Saruman_W: So, someone doesn't like beating others or being beaten for sexual gratification and this automatically deems them "close minded".. ? Well ok then.



It's perfectly fine to not engage in such action. It's perfectly fine to not like or enjoy such actions should you attempt them. Not everyone enjoys getting or giving pain but, there are some who do. There are some who crave the submission or domination aspect of the act above the pain transference.

If a person cannot realize that their viewpoint theirs and that others may have different opinions then absolutely they are close-minded. It is not okay to flat out tell people that they are wrong for not feeling the same way that you do.
 
2012-11-12 03:56:43 PM
He should counter-sue because she wouldn't recreate what he read in a stack of cookbooks.
 
2012-11-12 04:02:52 PM

Eleri: Labeling it abuse does a disservice to those who have actually suffered abuse and provides a justification for the abusers by allowing them to rationalize their actions as consensual.


You have that ass backwards. In fact, claiming that BDSM is normal, desirable, and empowers the bottom in any way, does a disservice to those who have actually been abused, as it can be used against them to provide a justification for the abusers by allowing them to rationalize their actions as consensual.

SquiggsIN: If a person cannot realize that their viewpoint theirs and that others may have different opinions then absolutely they are close-minded. It is not okay to flat out tell people that they are wrong for not feeling the same way that you do.


But it's OK when you do it, right?
 
2012-11-12 04:03:55 PM

Timmy the Tumor: He should counter-sue because she wouldn't recreate what he read in a stack of cookbooks.


LOL!
 
2012-11-12 04:07:36 PM
WTF, fark? You used to be cool. In the old days this thread would have been full of cheesy bondage pics posted by a certain few awesome people and the dolts who are arguing that BDSM is totally normal would have been arguing over how the pics aren't real and don't properly depict the BDSM lifestyle and the dolts who are arguing that those who engage in BDSM have issues would be arguing the same thing while throwing in random comments about how any male who likes the photos of women all tied up is just an abuser waiting for a chance.

/off to cry.
//but not in my bunk 'cause y'all suck donkey balls these days,
 
2012-11-12 04:10:18 PM

Fred Smythe: I'm seeing a whole lot of "myself, about ten years ago, before I really understood" in this thread. It's really very enlightening.



Understood what? Did you become more conservative or more let-your-freak-flag-fly?
 
2012-11-12 04:12:27 PM

WeenerGord: Eleri: Labeling it abuse does a disservice to those who have actually suffered abuse and provides a justification for the abusers by allowing them to rationalize their actions as consensual.

You have that ass backwards. In fact, claiming that BDSM is normal, desirable, and empowers the bottom in any way, does a disservice to those who have actually been abused, as it can be used against them to provide a justification for the abusers by allowing them to rationalize their actions as consensual.


Which doesn't actually address my point that labeling something that is normal and desirable as not normal and desirable does a disservice to those experiencing something not normal and desirable. In fact, it sidesteps my point by resting on the assumption that BDSM is not desirable or normal without any explanation. And ignores rest of my post entirely. Would you care to address why you assume BDSM is not normal and desirable?

To be quite frank, I don't care about any of the empowerment or feminist or misogynist arguments for or against BDSM. It just doesn't interest me.
 
2012-11-12 04:25:15 PM

Eleri: To be quite frank, I don't care about any of the empowerment or feminist or misogynist arguments for or against BDSM. It just doesn't interest me.


Are you male or female?
 
2012-11-12 04:25:59 PM

spunkymunky: cheesy bondage pics


barbaraannwright.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-11-12 04:26:36 PM

WeenerGord: Eleri: To be quite frank, I don't care about any of the empowerment or feminist or misogynist arguments for or against BDSM. It just doesn't interest me.

Are you male or female?


Why does that matter if they're not interested in it one way or another?
 
2012-11-12 04:37:04 PM

WeenerGord: Eleri: To be quite frank, I don't care about any of the empowerment or feminist or misogynist arguments for or against BDSM. It just doesn't interest me.

Are you male or female?


Male.

And I must applaud you, sir/madam. It has has been a while since I've seen someone so dead set against answering the meat of my posts, and going for irrelevant points.

KatjaMouse: WeenerGord: Eleri: To be quite frank, I don't care about any of the empowerment or feminist or misogynist arguments for or against BDSM. It just doesn't interest me.

Are you male or female?

Why does that matter if they're not interested in it one way or another?


Presumably for an ad hominem argument about how my lack of concern perpetuates the patriarchy by ensuring the submission of women through abuse, etc., etc. *yawn* Philosophy is fun, but as with philosophical or theological question, it gets the pants beat off it when it comes into contact with science. Psychologists and empirical studies agree that it's generally a harmless fetish. Now, it can be a harmful fetish, just like excessive video game or Internet use can be harmful, but, a healthy BDSM relationship is about as harmful as couple who use sex toys.
 
2012-11-12 05:11:15 PM
I will admit that I know next to nothing about the BDSM culture and, personally, I fail to see the appeal on that sort of games.

But equating it to abuse seems like an ignorant statement at best, and idiotic at worst.

I do know that the core mentality is "Safe, sane and consensual"... if there is consensus, how is that abuse?
 
2012-11-12 05:28:33 PM
This has been one of the trolliest threads I've read outside the Politics tab.

10/10, would cry again
 
2012-11-12 05:53:02 PM

Smackledorfer: Metraxis: I'm going to guess that this guy is himself a victim of sorts,

I would have just summed it up as "troll" especially after he agreed with my sarcasm-thick hyperbole above.


I'd like to believe that, but I've known a number of people in meatspace who actually think this way and will almost violently resist acknowledging their own hypocrisies.
 
2012-11-12 06:18:40 PM
The One True TheDavid

i.imgur.com
 
2012-11-12 06:25:28 PM
Just thought I'd point out that very few of you are receiving "Smart" votes on your posts.

/Tra-la
 
2012-11-12 06:29:38 PM

Metraxis: Smackledorfer: Metraxis: I'm going to guess that this guy is himself a victim of sorts,

I would have just summed it up as "troll" especially after he agreed with my sarcasm-thick hyperbole above.

I'd like to believe that, but I've known a number of people in meatspace who actually think this way and will almost violently resist acknowledging their own hypocrisies.


Yeah, they're called republicans.
 
2012-11-12 07:02:05 PM
I thumbed through the first book (can you thumb through an e-book), and was shocked. I was shocked at how...pedestrian it seemed. I expected something so over the top shocking, and it was not vanilla, but it was far from completely out there.

Stuff like this book and some of the reaction/changes in attitude towards a little light bondage and stuff like that can be compared to roller coasters. I know this might seem like something odd to compare to being spanked, tied up, or whatever, but here's why: It's the illusion of danger within the confines of safety. How many people ride roller coasters annually? How many are killed or seriously hurt? Riding roller coasters causes fewer deaths than soda machines annually (soda machines actually kill more people than sharks and lightning combined, but getting killed by a soda machine isn't sexy so it doesn't drive news casts). But when you're strapped in (safely) to that coaster and you're up at the top of that hill and the bottom drops out and you start hurtling downwards there is a rush, a lack of control, but still it is safe. That's what the 50 shades phenomenon is about. That rush or lack of control all while being totally safe.

Everyone has a line somewhere. For some people it's missionary, for some people it's a necktie to the wrists, for some people it's getting a big dump taken on you, for some people it's dressing up like Barney. Whatever trips your trigger, more power to you. I don't see the thrill in some of it, but who am I to judge what LEGAL CONSENTING ADULTS do behind closed doors. And I say this as a Republican that doesn't give a crap if you're gay, straight, black, white, etc.

//Sure I lost some people with the last sentence.
 
2012-11-12 07:06:58 PM

spunkymunky: WTF, fark? You used to be cool. In the old days this thread would have been full of cheesy bondage pics posted by a certain few awesome people and the dolts who are arguing that BDSM is totally normal would have been arguing over how the pics aren't real and don't properly depict the BDSM lifestyle and the dolts who are arguing that those who engage in BDSM have issues would be arguing the same thing while throwing in random comments about how any male who likes the photos of women all tied up is just an abuser waiting for a chance.

/off to cry.
//but not in my bunk 'cause y'all suck donkey balls these days,


What spunkymunky said.
 
2012-11-12 07:09:40 PM
Why is it that fat women refuse to accept that men don't want to have sex with fat women? Especially when they've already had sex with them 5,000 times before.
 
2012-11-12 07:22:53 PM

The One True TheDavid: KatjaMouse:

Say what you will about that book (and boy do I have a lot of not so pleasant things to say about it) at least it was a mainstream excuse/permission slip for women to go out and explore things outside of their typical comfort zone in the bedroom.

You think it's a good idea for women to be treated like that? You even think they should volunteer for it? Damn. If you're a woman (which I assume you are) you must be desperate; if you're a man (which can happen) you must really hate women.


...Sometimes it's very obvious who is and isn't capable of finding decent porn on the internet.

/Let's just start with googling 'male submission'...
//And 'BDSM negotiation', which is one of the biggest points of BDSM's 'Safe, Sane, and Consensual' deal...
///Goddamnitsomuch, Fark, I am not supposed to have better porn-fu than you.
 
2012-11-12 07:45:15 PM

PsiChick: The One True TheDavid: KatjaMouse:

Say what you will about that book (and boy do I have a lot of not so pleasant things to say about it) at least it was a mainstream excuse/permission slip for women to go out and explore things outside of their typical comfort zone in the bedroom.

You think it's a good idea for women to be treated like that? You even think they should volunteer for it? Damn. If you're a woman (which I assume you are) you must be desperate; if you're a man (which can happen) you must really hate women.

...Sometimes it's very obvious who is and isn't capable of finding decent porn on the internet.

/Let's just start with googling 'male submission'...
//And 'BDSM negotiation', which is one of the biggest points of BDSM's 'Safe, Sane, and Consensual' deal...
///Goddamnitsomuch, Fark, I am not supposed to have better porn-fu than you.


Your newsletter ect... ; )
 
2012-11-12 07:53:38 PM

tinfoil-hat maggie: PsiChick: The One True TheDavid: KatjaMouse:

Say what you will about that book (and boy do I have a lot of not so pleasant things to say about it) at least it was a mainstream excuse/permission slip for women to go out and explore things outside of their typical comfort zone in the bedroom.

You think it's a good idea for women to be treated like that? You even think they should volunteer for it? Damn. If you're a woman (which I assume you are) you must be desperate; if you're a man (which can happen) you must really hate women.

...Sometimes it's very obvious who is and isn't capable of finding decent porn on the internet.

/Let's just start with googling 'male submission'...
//And 'BDSM negotiation', which is one of the biggest points of BDSM's 'Safe, Sane, and Consensual' deal...
///Goddamnitsomuch, Fark, I am not supposed to have better porn-fu than you.

Your newsletter ect... ; )


Pfft, newsletter schmoozletter, I just had sucky computers and couldn't run decent porn.

/You'd be amazed what you find when you can only load jpegs.
//But thank you. :p
 
2012-11-12 08:01:29 PM

PsiChick: tinfoil-hat maggie: PsiChick: The One True TheDavid: KatjaMouse:

Say what you will about that book (and boy do I have a lot of not so pleasant things to say about it) at least it was a mainstream excuse/permission slip for women to go out and explore things outside of their typical comfort zone in the bedroom.

You think it's a good idea for women to be treated like that? You even think they should volunteer for it? Damn. If you're a woman (which I assume you are) you must be desperate; if you're a man (which can happen) you must really hate women.

...Sometimes it's very obvious who is and isn't capable of finding decent porn on the internet.

/Let's just start with googling 'male submission'...
//And 'BDSM negotiation', which is one of the biggest points of BDSM's 'Safe, Sane, and Consensual' deal...
///Goddamnitsomuch, Fark, I am not supposed to have better porn-fu than you.

Your newsletter ect... ; )

Pfft, newsletter schmoozletter, I just had sucky computers and couldn't run decent porn.

/You'd be amazed what you find when you can only load jpegs.
//But thank you. :p


Wait jpegs I thought that's what tumbler was for ; )
 
2012-11-12 08:06:18 PM

tinfoil-hat maggie: PsiChick: tinfoil-hat maggie: PsiChick: The One True TheDavid: KatjaMouse:

(sarcastic response to idiot edited for length)
Your newsletter ect... ; )

Pfft, newsletter schmoozletter, I just had sucky computers and couldn't run decent porn.

/You'd be amazed what you find when you can only load jpegs.
//But thank you. :p

Wait jpegs I thought that's what tumbler was for ; )


Pfft, like I kept that POS around once tumblr was up. :p
 
2012-11-12 08:25:52 PM
"Hit me" moaned the masochist.
"No" replied the sadist.
 
2012-11-12 08:30:13 PM

PsiChick: tinfoil-hat maggie: PsiChick: tinfoil-hat maggie: PsiChick: The One True TheDavid: KatjaMouse:

(sarcastic response to idiot edited for length)
Your newsletter ect... ; )

Pfft, newsletter schmoozletter, I just had sucky computers and couldn't run decent porn.

/You'd be amazed what you find when you can only load jpegs.
//But thank you. :p

Wait jpegs I thought that's what tumbler was for ; )

Pfft, like I kept that POS around once tumblr was up. :p


I knew I had you favorited for a reason : )
 
2012-11-12 08:39:50 PM

spunkymunky: WTF, fark? You used to be cool. In the old days this thread would have been full of cheesy bondage pics posted by a certain few awesome people and the dolts who are arguing that BDSM is totally normal would have been arguing over how the pics aren't real and don't properly depict the BDSM lifestyle and the dolts who are arguing that those who engage in BDSM have issues would be arguing the same thing while throwing in random comments about how any male who likes the photos of women all tied up is just an abuser waiting for a chance.


Oh alright...

cdnimg.visualizeus.com
 
2012-11-12 08:43:10 PM

tinfoil-hat maggie: PsiChick: tinfoil-hat maggie: PsiChick: tinfoil-hat maggie: PsiChick: The One True TheDavid: KatjaMouse:

(sarcastic response to idiot edited for length)
Your newsletter ect... ; )

Pfft, newsletter schmoozletter, I just had sucky computers and couldn't run decent porn.

/You'd be amazed what you find when you can only load jpegs.
//But thank you. :p

Wait jpegs I thought that's what tumbler was for ; )

Pfft, like I kept that POS around once tumblr was up. :p

I knew I had you favorited for a reason : )


D'aww, thanks. *blushes*
 
2012-11-12 08:46:30 PM

cgraves67: intimidated


Step 1: Pick up a copy for yourself
Step 2: Read it (or just skim for the naughty bits)
Step 3: Start out adding in some of the milder stuff and see how she responds
Step 4: Profit!!!!

/Money is only one facet of profit
 
2012-11-12 08:51:21 PM

KatjaMouse: spunkymunky: WTF, fark? You used to be cool. In the old days this thread would have been full of cheesy bondage pics posted by a certain few awesome people and the dolts who are arguing that BDSM is totally normal would have been arguing over how the pics aren't real and don't properly depict the BDSM lifestyle and the dolts who are arguing that those who engage in BDSM have issues would be arguing the same thing while throwing in random comments about how any male who likes the photos of women all tied up is just an abuser waiting for a chance.

Oh alright...


I find myself strangely aroused right now. Off to McD's then my bunk.
 
2012-11-13 09:51:34 AM

SquiggsIN: Saruman_W: So, someone doesn't like beating others or being beaten for sexual gratification and this automatically deems them "close minded".. ? Well ok then.


It's perfectly fine to not engage in such action. It's perfectly fine to not like or enjoy such actions should you attempt them. Not everyone enjoys getting or giving pain but, there are some who do. There are some who crave the submission or domination aspect of the act above the pain transference.

If a person cannot realize that their viewpoint theirs and that others may have different opinions then absolutely they are close-minded. It is not okay to flat out tell people that they are wrong for not feeling the same way that you do.


Then I guess folks like Jeffrey Dahmer or Andrei Chikatilo or similar were just simply "very open-minded" people who got off on inflicting pain on others and misunderstood by us mean, close-minded people!
 
2012-11-13 11:45:13 AM
Had an ex girlfriend who read it. Also have a friend who is female also read it.

Ex said "you remind me of Mr. Grey." Tried a few things with the ex because she wanted too. I was ok with that. Being safe of course.

Casual conversation with friend "50 shades of gray was so poorly written and silly. Totally laughable. "
"Funny, gf says I'm like Mr. Grey."
"LOL, ON WHAT PLANET????!"
*shrug*
"She's cray cray."

/indeed she was
//indeed, and ex for a reason.
///single and ok with that, trust your friends!
 
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