Eleri: Labeling it abuse does a disservice to those who have actually suffered abuse and provides a justification for the abusers by allowing them to rationalize their actions as consensual.

You have that ass backwards. In fact, claiming that BDSM is normal, desirable, and empowers the bottom in any way, does a disservice to those who have actually been abused, as it can be used against them to provide a justification for the abusers by allowing them to rationalize their actions as consensual.

SquiggsIN: If a person cannot realize that their viewpoint theirs and that others may have different opinions then absolutely they are close-minded. It is not okay to flat out tell people that they are wrong for not feeling the same way that you do.

But it's OK when you do it, right?

Timmy the Tumor: He should counter-sue because she wouldn't recreate what he read in a stack of cookbooks.

LOL!

WTF, fark? You used to be cool. In the old days this thread would have been full of cheesy bondage pics posted by a certain few awesome people and the dolts who are arguing that BDSM is totally normal would have been arguing over how the pics aren't real and don't properly depict the BDSM lifestyle and the dolts who are arguing that those who engage in BDSM have issues would be arguing the same thing while throwing in random comments about how any male who likes the photos of women all tied up is just an abuser waiting for a chance.

/off to cry.
//but not in my bunk 'cause y'all suck donkey balls these days,

Fred Smythe: I'm seeing a whole lot of "myself, about ten years ago, before I really understood" in this thread. It's really very enlightening.


Understood what? Did you become more conservative or more let-your-freak-flag-fly?

WeenerGord: Eleri: Labeling it abuse does a disservice to those who have actually suffered abuse and provides a justification for the abusers by allowing them to rationalize their actions as consensual.

You have that ass backwards. In fact, claiming that BDSM is normal, desirable, and empowers the bottom in any way, does a disservice to those who have actually been abused, as it can be used against them to provide a justification for the abusers by allowing them to rationalize their actions as consensual.

Which doesn't actually address my point that labeling something that is normal and desirable as not normal and desirable does a disservice to those experiencing something not normal and desirable. In fact, it sidesteps my point by resting on the assumption that BDSM is not desirable or normal without any explanation. And ignores rest of my post entirely. Would you care to address why you assume BDSM is not normal and desirable?

To be quite frank, I don't care about any of the empowerment or feminist or misogynist arguments for or against BDSM. It just doesn't interest me.

Eleri: To be quite frank, I don't care about any of the empowerment or feminist or misogynist arguments for or against BDSM. It just doesn't interest me.

Are you male or female?

spunkymunky: cheesy bondage pics

WeenerGord: Eleri: To be quite frank, I don't care about any of the empowerment or feminist or misogynist arguments for or against BDSM. It just doesn't interest me.

Are you male or female?

Male.

And I must applaud you, sir/madam. It has has been a while since I've seen someone so dead set against answering the meat of my posts, and going for irrelevant points.

KatjaMouse: WeenerGord: Eleri: To be quite frank, I don't care about any of the empowerment or feminist or misogynist arguments for or against BDSM. It just doesn't interest me.

Are you male or female?

Why does that matter if they're not interested in it one way or another?

Presumably for an ad hominem argument about how my lack of concern perpetuates the patriarchy by ensuring the submission of women through abuse, etc., etc. *yawn* Philosophy is fun, but as with philosophical or theological question, it gets the pants beat off it when it comes into contact with science. Psychologists and empirical studies agree that it's generally a harmless fetish. Now, it can be a harmful fetish, just like excessive video game or Internet use can be harmful, but, a healthy BDSM relationship is about as harmful as couple who use sex toys.

I will admit that I know next to nothing about the BDSM culture and, personally, I fail to see the appeal on that sort of games.

But equating it to abuse seems like an ignorant statement at best, and idiotic at worst.

I do know that the core mentality is "Safe, sane and consensual"... if there is consensus, how is that abuse?

This has been one of the trolliest threads I've read outside the Politics tab.

10/10, would cry again

Smackledorfer: Metraxis: I'm going to guess that this guy is himself a victim of sorts,

I would have just summed it up as "troll" especially after he agreed with my sarcasm-thick hyperbole above.

I'd like to believe that, but I've known a number of people in meatspace who actually think this way and will almost violently resist acknowledging their own hypocrisies.

Just thought I'd point out that very few of you are receiving "Smart" votes on your posts.

/Tra-la

Metraxis: Smackledorfer: Metraxis: I'm going to guess that this guy is himself a victim of sorts,

I would have just summed it up as "troll" especially after he agreed with my sarcasm-thick hyperbole above.

I'd like to believe that, but I've known a number of people in meatspace who actually think this way and will almost violently resist acknowledging their own hypocrisies.

Yeah, they're called republicans.

I thumbed through the first book (can you thumb through an e-book), and was shocked. I was shocked at how...pedestrian it seemed. I expected something so over the top shocking, and it was not vanilla, but it was far from completely out there.

Stuff like this book and some of the reaction/changes in attitude towards a little light bondage and stuff like that can be compared to roller coasters. I know this might seem like something odd to compare to being spanked, tied up, or whatever, but here's why: It's the illusion of danger within the confines of safety. How many people ride roller coasters annually? How many are killed or seriously hurt? Riding roller coasters causes fewer deaths than soda machines annually (soda machines actually kill more people than sharks and lightning combined, but getting killed by a soda machine isn't sexy so it doesn't drive news casts). But when you're strapped in (safely) to that coaster and you're up at the top of that hill and the bottom drops out and you start hurtling downwards there is a rush, a lack of control, but still it is safe. That's what the 50 shades phenomenon is about. That rush or lack of control all while being totally safe.

Everyone has a line somewhere. For some people it's missionary, for some people it's a necktie to the wrists, for some people it's getting a big dump taken on you, for some people it's dressing up like Barney. Whatever trips your trigger, more power to you. I don't see the thrill in some of it, but who am I to judge what LEGAL CONSENTING ADULTS do behind closed doors. And I say this as a Republican that doesn't give a crap if you're gay, straight, black, white, etc.

//Sure I lost some people with the last sentence.

spunkymunky: WTF, fark? You used to be cool. In the old days this thread would have been full of cheesy bondage pics posted by a certain few awesome people and the dolts who are arguing that BDSM is totally normal would have been arguing over how the pics aren't real and don't properly depict the BDSM lifestyle and the dolts who are arguing that those who engage in BDSM have issues would be arguing the same thing while throwing in random comments about how any male who likes the photos of women all tied up is just an abuser waiting for a chance.

/off to cry.
//but not in my bunk 'cause y'all suck donkey balls these days,

What spunkymunky said.

Why is it that fat women refuse to accept that men don't want to have sex with fat women? Especially when they've already had sex with them 5,000 times before.

"Hit me" moaned the masochist.
"No" replied the sadist.

cgraves67: intimidated

Step 1: Pick up a copy for yourself
Step 2: Read it (or just skim for the naughty bits)
Step 3: Start out adding in some of the milder stuff and see how she responds
Step 4: Profit!!!!

/Money is only one facet of profit

KatjaMouse: spunkymunky: WTF, fark? You used to be cool. In the old days this thread would have been full of cheesy bondage pics posted by a certain few awesome people and the dolts who are arguing that BDSM is totally normal would have been arguing over how the pics aren't real and don't properly depict the BDSM lifestyle and the dolts who are arguing that those who engage in BDSM have issues would be arguing the same thing while throwing in random comments about how any male who likes the photos of women all tied up is just an abuser waiting for a chance.

Oh alright...

I find myself strangely aroused right now. Off to McD's then my bunk.

SquiggsIN: Saruman_W: So, someone doesn't like beating others or being beaten for sexual gratification and this automatically deems them "close minded".. ? Well ok then.


It's perfectly fine to not engage in such action. It's perfectly fine to not like or enjoy such actions should you attempt them. Not everyone enjoys getting or giving pain but, there are some who do. There are some who crave the submission or domination aspect of the act above the pain transference.

If a person cannot realize that their viewpoint theirs and that others may have different opinions then absolutely they are close-minded. It is not okay to flat out tell people that they are wrong for not feeling the same way that you do.

Then I guess folks like Jeffrey Dahmer or Andrei Chikatilo or similar were just simply "very open-minded" people who got off on inflicting pain on others and misunderstood by us mean, close-minded people!

Had an ex girlfriend who read it. Also have a friend who is female also read it.

Ex said "you remind me of Mr. Grey." Tried a few things with the ex because she wanted too. I was ok with that. Being safe of course.

Casual conversation with friend "50 shades of gray was so poorly written and silly. Totally laughable. "
"Funny, gf says I'm like Mr. Grey."
"LOL, ON WHAT PLANET????!"
*shrug*
"She's cray cray."

/indeed she was
//indeed, and ex for a reason.
///single and ok with that, trust your friends!