WeenerGord: KatjaMouse: WeenerGord: Can't wait to hear in the news about the abusive farks she replaces him with. Maybe she'll end up blackmailed and/or murdered for her money.

Right... because all guys into bondage and flogging are abusive asses. All of them. No exception.

Do tell us all about the lovely, kind, goodhearted, sensitive men who tie you up and whip your ass bloody, and how much that satisfies and fulfills you, in a good way.

I think I see the problem with your view of the world...

While it isn't great literature, and has fueled a spate of releases of the fast-follow variety, the book has served an important function. I won't exactly call it a permission slip, but its popularity has reached the point that no one can really pretend that only deviants read it or are interested in its contents.

For a long time, the pop-culture sexual landscape in the US was dominated by a more or less explicitly purtinanical ideal which told people that their urges were shameful or wrong, and led to frustration and unhappiness. In more recent times, this itwisted sexual idealogy has faced strong opposition from the third-wave feminist sexual dogma, which, in stark contrast, tells people that their urges are shameful and wrong, and leads to frustration and unhappiness. The concept that sex might not be a political or theological statement, the thought that it might, in fact, be a thing that people do with each other for their own reasons, is anathema to both, since it denies the demagogue control.

Kink exists on a spectrum, as does nearly any behavior which has human participants. If you look up, you'll see some examples of people jousting at straw men, insisting that anyone who wishes to do anything out of the 'ordinary' or 'normal' is an extreme deviant who either hates women, hates themselves, or both. People are people, and some of them will like things you don't. If you don't want to see, don't look.

Oznog: Is it just that once you've reached a critical mass of press attention, you're "good" no matter what the actual product is? Well no shocker there. I'm just wondering if there's any real "win" hidden in the writing itself, or if it's JUST press. I only skimmed a copy and was just "WTF???" all the way through.

Twi-Hards discovered it, women were titillated, Kindles boosted sales so you wouldn't have to explain away a book cover and that's what happened. Sort of like how Secretary became a mainstream BDSM movie (and despite how much I like that one, I have problems with the premise as well) that couples were somewhat comfortable enough to initiate a conversation about it.

Then the adult novelty stores and porn industry jumped on the bandwagon and regular clinics were suddenly full of bored housewives expecting to jump straight into Medieval style dungeons.

Late, but relevant:

He should have told her she needed to be about 20 years younger for him to be into it.

He should have bought her a copy of "Screw the Roses, Give me the Thorns" so they could have both learned about safe, respectful S&M instead of the abusive crap from "50 Shades"

She tried something she had read in that book FIFTY SHADES OF GREY BY AUTHOR EL JAMES she bought sexy underwear.

alizeran: Late, but relevant:

Yep. Typical.

KatjaMouse: The One True TheDavid:

Ugly fat chicks with no self respect will let you do all kinds of mean shiat to them just to get any attention at all. They'll even encourage it if you don't make them pay every time you order pizza. You learn this before you're 18 if you ever peek out from under Mom's skirt. I'd rather read Wikipedia than put up with such women, and I'll bet so would her husband.

[Not-Sure-If-Serious.jpg]

I'm very very serious. Why bother with a woman with no self-respect? If she's no good for herself what good can she do me?

In real life I avoid people who inspire me even to talk mean to them like I do here on Fark, and on Fark dimwits are encouraged to Ignore me.

I might have anger problems and a bad attitude but if I want a punching bag there's always the Y.

What kind of society do we have if such behavior is regarded as sexy by its victims? Susan Brownmiller might overstate the case in places but I can't say she's mistaken; indeed maybe she turned out to be a pollyanna optimist. Maybe in a few years I'll think the same of Andrea Dworkin.

Come ON, people. If I can raise my consciousness anybody can. Or do you want a society where "I only did what women really want; look at the books they read!" will get a torturing rapist acquitted? 

Free advice: lose a little weight and choose less horrific "entertainments." Don't make a virtue of settling for what's easiest to get from men who can't get better. 

Oh and by the way, a man who thinks he needs to tie up and whip his partner to get an erection should try Viagra or Cialis instead. If that doesn't work he should pay for prettier "escorts" or, better yet, give it up entirely. That's how evolution works in normal species: limpdick genes don't get passed on. Suck it up; it's for the best.

ramblinwreck: alizeran: Late, but relevant:

Yep. Typical.

I agree with the sentiment. No matter the gender of yourself or your partner oral sex should come standard with every model. If it bothers you that much you have every right to trade it in for something else. Men are allowed to b*tch and moan about not getting sex as women should be to from their respective partners who may be suffering from a low libido.

At least the subject of TFA didn't run around with a new sugar baby.

KatjaMouse: Oznog: Is it just that once you've reached a critical mass of press attention, you're "good" no matter what the actual product is? Well no shocker there. I'm just wondering if there's any real "win" hidden in the writing itself, or if it's JUST press. I only skimmed a copy and was just "WTF???" all the way through.

Twi-Hards discovered it, women were titillated, Kindles boosted sales so you wouldn't have to explain away a book cover and that's what happened. Sort of like how Secretary became a mainstream BDSM movie (and despite how much I like that one, I have problems with the premise as well) that couples were somewhat comfortable enough to initiate a conversation about it.

Then the adult novelty stores and porn industry jumped on the bandwagon and regular clinics were suddenly full of bored housewives expecting to jump straight into Medieval style dungeons.

"He hit me hard enough to break skin but it didn't feel good!"

"Those whips HURT, I kicked him in the balls afterwards!"

"I'd never really looked at my husband, I didn't know that male chastity devices needed to be sized!"

...And on and on and on.

hasty ambush:

Serves us right for giving them the vote a letting them out of the kitchen. The world was better off when their reading was confined to cook books, Good Housekepping and Jane Austen.

Now women's expectation levels have been raised to unreasonable levels and this is a natural fallout.

Now I'm not sure if you're serious. Please enlighten me.

The reason for their boring sex life is she's probably a middle-aged cow.

Also, leather and ball gags ain't for everyone...

TheotherMIguy: ...And on and on and on.

Sex Nerd Sandra did an entertaining podcast a few months ago titled 50 Shades of Cray Cray. The guest pro-domme articulated every problem I had with that book... that I never got around to finishing because OMG what a sh*t fest.

BAMFinator: Hell I can't even get my wife to do it with the lights on.

I can. Hey, nice bowling trophy, BTW.

halleyscomet: He should have bought her a copy of "Screw the Roses, Give me the Thorns" so they could have both learned about safe, respectful S&M instead of the abusive crap from "50 Shades"

Will check this out.

Odd Bird: WeenerGord: KatjaMouse: WeenerGord: Can't wait to hear in the news about the abusive farks she replaces him with. Maybe she'll end up blackmailed and/or murdered for her money.

Right... because all guys into bondage and flogging are abusive asses. All of them. No exception.

Do tell us all about the lovely, kind, goodhearted, sensitive men who tie you up and whip your ass bloody, and how much that satisfies and fulfills you, in a good way.

I think I see the problem with your view of the world...
[4.bp.blogspot.com image 425x284]


Is that supposed to be an endorsement of how wonderful abusive relationships are? Oh no, it's a personal attack on anyone who suggests that abusive relationships are not what's best for anyone. Maybe it's you who are locked up, trapped in an abusive situtation, and peeking out through a keyhole at the world.

Is your keyhole picture a cry for help? You want me to unlock the door and let you out? OK. The key, and the lock, are in your own mind.  Now you have the power to free yourself.

flsprtsgod:

Amateurish and poorly written. The Sleeping Beauty books on the other hand...that was some kinda key to a lock found DEEP in the subconscious.

Which should be treated by trained professionals, if you can't raise your consciousness yourself or with your peers.

My self-respect increased greatly when I went on antidepressants. And I was never so pathetic as to encourage anyone to tie me up and spank me.

Just because it's "in the subconscious" doesn't mean it's good.

KatjaMouse: TheotherMIguy: ...And on and on and on.

Sex Nerd Sandra did an entertaining podcast a few months ago titled 50 Shades of Cray Cray. The guest pro-domme articulated every problem I had with that book... that I never got around to finishing because OMG what a sh*t fest.

I've got a former domme friend who's in the "fun toys" industry now, I never did ask her what she though about the book. I personally don't think my wife or I will read it, we're creative enough, heh.

gregory311: The One True TheDavid: KatjaMouse:

Say what you will about that book (and boy do I have a lot of not so pleasant things to say about it) at least it was a mainstream excuse/permission slip for women to go out and explore things outside of their typical comfort zone in the bedroom.

You think it's a good idea for women to be treated like that? You even think they should volunteer for it? Damn. If you're a woman (which I assume you are) you must be desperate; if you're a man (which can happen) you must really hate women.

Have you even read the farking book? It's pretty tame.

I know. That's its one redeeming virtue.

WeenerGord: Odd Bird: WeenerGord: KatjaMouse: WeenerGord: Can't wait to hear in the news about the abusive farks she replaces him with. Maybe she'll end up blackmailed and/or murdered for her money.

Right... because all guys into bondage and flogging are abusive asses. All of them. No exception.

Do tell us all about the lovely, kind, goodhearted, sensitive men who tie you up and whip your ass bloody, and how much that satisfies and fulfills you, in a good way.

I think I see the problem with your view of the world...
[4.bp.blogspot.com image 425x284]


Is that supposed to be an endorsement of how wonderful abusive relationships are? Oh no, it's a personal attack on anyone who suggests that abusive relationships are not what's best for anyone. Maybe it's you who are locked up, trapped in an abusive situtation, and peeking out through a keyhole at the world.

Is your keyhole picture a cry for help? You want me to unlock the door and let you out? OK. The key, and the lock, are in your own mind.  Now you have the power to free yourself.

Like with many other subjects, you're an ignorant judgmental idiot. One that I'll no longer be reading.

BubbaJones: BAMFinator: Hell I can't even get my wife to do it with the lights on.

Funny....she insists on having them on with me

Is it odd that two dudes named Jones jumped on that?

gregory311: The One True TheDavid: Wicked Chinchilla:

But nope, my wife is impervious to said books, apparently. Zero change observed.

Good for her. She should grow even more self-respect and divorce you.

You sound awfully, awfully lonely... you can tell us, we won't judge.

Nope. I'd rather do without than settle for what's easiest to get.

Walking is better than riding a moped: you keep your own weight down that way.

WeenerGord: Is that supposed to be an endorsement of how wonderful abusive relationships are? Oh no, it's a personal attack on anyone who suggests that abusive relationships are not what's best for anyone. Maybe it's you who are locked up, trapped in an abusive situtation, and peeking out through a keyhole at the world.

Is your keyhole picture a cry for help? You want me to unlock the door and let you out? OK. The key, and the lock, are in your own mind.  Now you have the power to free yourself.

Your view of the S&M world is narrow, by choice or circumstance. You may address this if you wish or continue about your life, ignorant on the subject, content with things as they are.

The One True TheDavid: I'm very very serious.

Why do you believe that being a bisexual twink-chasing former transgender suddenly makes you an expert on all things alternative and kink? Your absurd pronouncements pulled from your ass and threadshiatting aren't creating any kind of discussion, so why bother?

SquiggsIN: Like with many other subjects, you're an ignorant judgmental idiot. One that I'll no longer be reading.

 

/Go get your dom to give you a good hard spanking so you can have yourself a good cry.... maybe you'll feel better about horrible old me!

The One True TheDavid: KatjaMouse: The One True TheDavid:

Ugly fat chicks with no self respect will let you do all kinds of mean shiat to them just to get any attention at all. They'll even encourage it if you don't make them pay every time you order pizza. You learn this before you're 18 if you ever peek out from under Mom's skirt. I'd rather read Wikipedia than put up with such women, and I'll bet so would her husband.

[Not-Sure-If-Serious.jpg]

I'm very very serious. Why bother with a woman with no self-respect? If she's no good for herself what good can she do me?

In real life I avoid people who inspire me even to talk mean to them like I do here on Fark, and on Fark dimwits are encouraged to Ignore me.

I might have anger problems and a bad attitude but if I want a punching bag there's always the Y.

What kind of society do we have if such behavior is regarded as sexy by its victims? Susan Brownmiller might overstate the case in places but I can't say she's mistaken; indeed maybe she turned out to be a pollyanna optimist. Maybe in a few years I'll think the same of Andrea Dworkin.

Come ON, people. If I can raise my consciousness anybody can. Or do you want a society where "I only did what women really want; look at the books they read!" will get a torturing rapist acquitted? 

Free advice: lose a little weight and choose less horrific "entertainments." Don't make a virtue of settling for what's easiest to get from men who can't get better. 

Oh and by the way, a man who thinks he needs to tie up and whip his partner to get an erection should try Viagra or Cialis instead. If that doesn't work he should pay for prettier "escorts" or, better yet, give it up entirely. That's how evolution works in normal species: limpdick genes don't get passed on. Suck it up; it's for the best.

The truly sad thing is that this guy doesn't realize his own sexism. He has clearly abandoned the radical notion that women are people, and instead hews to an orthodoxy which holds that a human with a vagina is a victim by nature, and must be carefully protected from making politically wrong choices about her own body.

To trade in shame and censure in an attempt to force conformity is neither enlightened nor new, and to parrot these kinds of tenets is less a sign of a raised consciousness than of a head wedged firmly in its owner's ass. It's tired, it's boring, and it has failed in the modern culture, to the relief of all concerned.

KatjaMouse: thecpt: KatjaMouse: Oh, and to the other guys up-thread, I wear in the pants in our relationship outside of the bedroom. Roles are reversed inside and that's just how we roll.

I really thought they were masterful trolls. Who knows.

I was thinking that at first too but I think there was some sincere feelings behind the sentiments.

shiat. looks like you were right. Off to calibrate my troll meter.

Odd Bird: WeenerGord: Is that supposed to be an endorsement of how wonderful abusive relationships are? Oh no, it's a personal attack on anyone who suggests that abusive relationships are not what's best for anyone. Maybe it's you who are locked up, trapped in an abusive situtation, and peeking out through a keyhole at the world.

Is your keyhole picture a cry for help? You want me to unlock the door and let you out? OK. The key, and the lock, are in your own mind.  Now you have the power to free yourself.

Your view of the S&M world is narrow, by choice or circumstance. You may address this if you wish or continue about your life, ignorant on the subject, content with things as they are.


And just how does attacking me for not automatically knowing how wonderful SM is, tell me how wonderful SM is? Eh? Answer the farking question I posed the first time. Tell us about your wonderful Dominant Masters or Mistresses and how they make your life better by abusing you.

Answer the question! That's an order!

I'm just going to state it like this, and if certain individuals want to keep fighting me on it, I'm just going to bow it because whatever.

Place yourself in a hypothetical room with 9 hypothetical people. Do you react to pain or pleasure sensations the exact same way as these other individuals do? Does everyone in this room like getting oral sex? Some people don't care one way or another if they receive it (and yes, men are in this group too). Some people don't like giving it but man do they ever get hard by vicariously experiencing pleasure through their partner. How about skin contact? Maybe someone really needs additional surface level blood flow to get things going. Then there's that guy standing next to you who's known that he was totally into other dudes when he was 13. Then on the other side of you is another guy who also at age 13 fantasized about being tied up by a woman in tuxedo because he has a weird Marlene Dietrich thing.

You know that the most important sex organ is in the body? I'll give you a hint. It's somewhere between the ears.

Most adults can tell the difference between happy fun time and real abuse/power tripping. It's the people who purposefully go for the latter that are messed up.

ragnaroknroll: boundaries and safe words are for sissies.


>evil laugh

 

evil laugh indeed.

The One True TheDavid: Ugly fat chicks with no self respect will let you do all kinds of mean shiat to them just to get any attention at all. They'll even encourage it if you don't make them pay every time you order pizza.

They make you pay pay for your own pizza? You must have a very tiny penis.

SquiggsIN:

BDSM isn't for every one but, for some people it is an extremely rewarding outlet for meeting their needs.

Not every so-called need should be met. And if that's the only way you have of finding sexual fulfillment that's truly pathetic.

Imagine this: "Child molestation isn't for every one but, for some people it is an extremely rewarding outlet for meeting their needs."

Wouldn't you be revolted by that statement? (Please oh please say yes.)

Of course it could be said that some abused & molested children find pleasure & happiness in relationships with pedophiles, that it's really much nicer & more liberating than we'd imagine, and that people who've never tried it shouldn't judge.

Oh, wait, it is said, not only by pedophiles but by kids who put it as "But Uncle Ernie loves me! He took me to Disney World!"

Many children who've been abused and/or molested grow up to think such behavior is normal and even sexy, and many children who didn't even get that kind of attention envy the ones who got Uncle Ernie's "love."

This phenomenon is not a good thing, in spite of what "the Media" tells you to control your thinking and behavior and get rich at your expense.

iheartscotch: Someone who isn't a historical foot note in a textbook from the 60's actually made a classy decision?

/ unpossible

Yes, airing out your ex-husband's sexual inadequacy to the news media is certainly "classy".....

Some people care way too much about what other folks do in their spare time.

Headso:

If some chick likes to get spanked why does it have to mean something outside of just her liking to get spanked.

"Why does she like to get spanked?" is the question. The next one is "What can be done to raise her self-esteem?"

KatjaMouse: And while there are a couple of intriguing ideas in there I'd like to take to the bedroom this book betrays the author as being someone who has no clue as to how most BDSM relationships work and is an exercise in her own fantasies. The normal/healthy ones at least.


So the author is not right to express her fantasies, in writing, in a fiction book, but when you express your fantasies, in real life activities, in your close knit BDSM clique, it is normal and healthy. Right.

Still waiting to hear anyone tell me what it is about their BDSM that is so good and makes their life better in any way. So far, only hearing shrill screams of outrage that I would even dare to ask the question.

The Evil That Lies In The Hearts Of Men: Some people care way too much about what other folks do in their spare time.

and yet some people seem hell bent on making sure others know what they do in their spare time.

Tat'dGreaser: Good for her, instead of just cheating on him because he sucked in bed she gave him a chance and he failed so she's leaving.

How much is he getting in the divorce settlement? Because if it was a guy making that much money that said his wife refused to roleplay or do anything to spice up their listless sex life you can sure bet the courts would award her half of everything the guy currently has plus half of everything he'll ever make until the end of time.

KatjaMouse: Oznog: Is it just that once you've reached a critical mass of press attention, you're "good" no matter what the actual product is? Well no shocker there. I'm just wondering if there's any real "win" hidden in the writing itself, or if it's JUST press. I only skimmed a copy and was just "WTF???" all the way through.

Twi-Hards discovered it, women were titillated, Kindles boosted sales so you wouldn't have to explain away a book cover and that's what happened. Sort of like how Secretary became a mainstream BDSM movie (and despite how much I like that one, I have problems with the premise as well) that couples were somewhat comfortable enough to initiate a conversation about it.

Then the adult novelty stores and porn industry jumped on the bandwagon and regular clinics were suddenly full of bored housewives expecting to jump straight into Medieval style dungeons.

Well, the riddle I want an answer to:
Is it popular in spite of being terrible writing, or popular BECAUSE it's terrible writing?

WeenerGord: And just how does attacking me for not automatically knowing how wonderful SM is, tell me how wonderful SM is? Eh? Answer the farking question I posed the first time. Tell us about your wonderful Dominant Masters or Mistresses and how they make your life better by abusing you.

Answer the question! That's an order!

shat, I got trolled...

The One True TheDavid: SquiggsIN:

BDSM isn't for every one but, for some people it is an extremely rewarding outlet for meeting their needs.

Not every so-called need should be met. And if that's the only way you have of finding sexual fulfillment that's truly pathetic.

Imagine this: "Child molestation isn't for every one but, for some people it is an extremely rewarding outlet for meeting their needs."

Wouldn't you be revolted by that statement? (Please oh please say yes.)

Of course it could be said that some abused & molested children find pleasure & happiness in relationships with pedophiles, that it's really much nicer & more liberating than we'd imagine, and that people who've never tried it shouldn't judge.

Oh, wait, it is said, not only by pedophiles but by kids who put it as "But Uncle Ernie loves me! He took me to Disney World!"

Many children who've been abused and/or molested grow up to think such behavior is normal and even sexy, and many children who didn't even get that kind of attention envy the ones who got Uncle Ernie's "love."

This phenomenon is not a good thing, in spite of what "the Media" tells you to control your thinking and behavior and get rich at your expense.

Consent required, those under 18 cannot legally consent. Animals cannot consent, invalids cannot consent, the mentally-incapacitated cannot consent, etc..

I'm not asking for your approval to be different. I'm asking you to take your head out of your arse and realize that your way of thinking doesn't entitle you to expect it from others.

WeenerGord: So the author is not right to express her fantasies, in writing, in a fiction book, but when you express your fantasies, in real life activities, in your close knit BDSM clique, it is normal and healthy. Right.

Well, one or two little ideas I never had for a crop was nice vs. signing a slave contract that the 'Master' for the most part violated time and time again in an aggressive manner are in no way comparable.

WeenerGord: Still waiting to hear anyone tell me what it is about their BDSM that is so good and makes their life better in any way.

Nothing quite like having the blood flow being brought up to the surface. Makes one more sensitive to slight touch. Even better when the person wielding the flogger pauses once in a while to make sure that his consenting partner is still consenting and is getting pleasure out of it.

Maybe Santa should bring you a bunny flogger. It's good for newbies who are intimidated by leather and the idea of pain.

foxyshadis: The One True TheDavid:

I'm very very serious.

Why do you believe that being a bisexual twink-chasing former transgender suddenly makes you an expert on all things alternative and kink? Your absurd pronouncements pulled from your ass and threadshiatting aren't creating any kind of discussion, so why bother?

Tell that to KatjaMouse, who showed us she can use the IMG tag.

I'm not a "former transgender" nor do I "chase twinks." You should read closer. And as far as "absurd pronouncements pulled from [my] ass" goes, I'm gratified that a few people out there dare to voice similar opinions; it gives me a wee bit of hope for our species' future.

So anyway. Why don't you click "Ignore this user" if you're so offended by my comments? Do you flatter yourself that I'd miss you?

udhq: iheartscotch: Someone who isn't a historical foot note in a textbook from the 60's actually made a classy decision?

/ unpossible

Yes, airing out your ex-husband's sexual inadequacy to the news media is certainly "classy".....

Was referring to the husband's refusal to do something, that I asume, felt demeaned his wife.

The One True TheDavid: gregory311: The One True TheDavid: Wicked Chinchilla:

But nope, my wife is impervious to said books, apparently. Zero change observed.

Good for her. She should grow even more self-respect and divorce you.

You sound awfully, awfully lonely... you can tell us, we won't judge.

Nope. I'd rather do without than settle for what's easiest to get.

Walking is better than riding a moped: you keep your own weight down that way.

Nah, I'd rather workout with my wife and let her read her slutty books.

It's a book, slim. A story.

You know, not real.