the former owner was convicted of "contributing to the delinquency of a mynah."

peg_leg: There's good people in St. Louis?

Used to be. The fat people ate them.

I work at the airport and I often get asked odd questions. So I started just giving random and nonsensical stories.

One of the current ones we tell is the result of a question from a man from St. Louis. He asked if it was true that the rivalry between the Cincinnati Reds and the St. Louis Cardinals was so bad that the people of Cincinnati Refused to recognize the cardinal as the Ohio state bird. From that point on we have been telling people this story when they pass through. We have even added some flair. Sadly I know nothing of St. Louis and can't come up with a good counter story to feed into the St. Louis vs. Cincinnati blood-baseball feud. Perhaps some of you farkers can come up with a good counter story that I could tell for St. Louis.

On that note once people enter an airport their IQ drops off pretty quickly. Might as well be a short-bus port. Last week a man came into my store and started watching the documentary on the wright brothers. This thing is on loop all day every day and this man had sat there and watched about 15 minutes of it. A picture of the Wright brother's father comes up and the man turns and says. "I didn't know Charles Darwin was from Dayton OH?" I simply told him yes and added that he started his voyage from the Ohio river, that is also in Dayton. I had to try really hard not to laugh and shoot from the hip.

Another man came in and looked at the TV. It was playing the 2003 Dayton airshow. Now at the time this DVD was playing it was 4:30AM, it was January, it was 20 below, everything was covered in snow. The airshow is obviously taking place in summer on a bright day. He turns and asks
"What window can I watch this from? I thought I heard this outside? Can I see this from this concourse?" I just pointed out the window to the guy in a bucket truck deicing a plane. He said "oh, shiat." I guess jet lag could fark one up, but God damn.

So Andrew Jackson's parrot lived into the 1930s?

In 1930, the people of St. Louis were barely literate and had terrible teeth. Not too much different than today, but at least they had a parrot back then.