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(Examiner)   Texas wants to secede from the Union? Boring.... Fifteen states file petitions to secede? Now we're talking   (examiner.com) divider line 308
    More: Followup, Texas, United States, petitions  
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10294 clicks; posted to Politics » on 11 Nov 2012 at 4:19 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-11 08:58:02 PM
Sure thing. you can seceded.

One thing though. Since you aren't a part of the US anymore, We're not letting you use united states currency anymore.

Since you are also a threat to the union, we are going to put trade sanctions on you.

We'll also be taking back all of our military hardware.

Oh, and forget about using our airspace or sea lanes.

The electrical grid is also going to be severed, and you will need a passport to enter the USA.

Enjoy your 3rd world hell hole.
 
2012-11-11 08:58:29 PM
Arent all 15 of these states taking in more that they give back?
 
2012-11-11 08:58:53 PM
Let Texas go. I give it 2 years and they are a third-world country. They would have to implement an income tax, something they do not have now and the reason so many people move there. Also, if I could find the article, some economist predicted that more than half of the major corporations based in TX, like American Airlines, would move the corp HQ out of Texas in the aftermath of succession.

Besides, if they leave, the chance of a GOP president in the next 40year is all but gone. I say let them go.
 
2012-11-11 09:03:03 PM

nmemkha: *Shug* Maybe its grand experiment know as the United States is over. I feel bad for many of the red flyover states: they got nothing.

[sandiegofreepress.org image 425x419]

/In a Absolutely GOP World


That map should be altered. Jesusland just got a lot smaller, given the results of the last election...
 
2012-11-11 09:09:30 PM
When your side loses an election, you should always consider secession. That is exactly what happened prior to the Civil War. It made no more sense then and it makes no sense now.

Maybe the test to qualify a person to vote should be based on mental maturity and not physical age.
 
2012-11-11 09:09:31 PM

DemonEater: HST's Dead Carcass: Once they all leave, they'll have to pick a new name, Th USA is taken.

That part's EASY.

The Confederate States of America. You know they'll do it.


The sad thing? They have sort of forgotten why we went from the Articles of Confederation to our republic. This sad lot is angry still because we didn't let them try and fail to make a go of it. Then again with Mexico and Britain slavering for expansion of their own territories, they might be more like the Canuckistanis by now...
 
2012-11-11 09:10:08 PM

nmemkha: DemonEater: HST's Dead Carcass: Once they all leave, they'll have to pick a new name, Th USA is taken.

That part's EASY.

The Confederate States of America. You know they'll do it.

Anecdotally, most creative people tend to have Liberal views so its your suggestion or:

The United Christian States of America


I thought they were just going to name it "Bain Capital Holdings"
 
2012-11-11 09:15:24 PM

OtherLittleGuy: Gyrfalcon:

However, anyone wanting to force the issue should recall what happened in Los Angeles during the riots, when the Marines were deployed to keep order. They kept order, all right; and when some fool decided the Marines would never fire on US citizens and decided to crash a roadblock, they shot him dead.

National Guardsman, actually.


I live here. It was the Marines.
 
2012-11-11 09:24:03 PM

Forbidden Doughnut: nmemkha: *Shug* Maybe its grand experiment know as the United States is over. I feel bad for many of the red flyover states: they got nothing.

[sandiegofreepress.org image 425x419]

/In a Absolutely GOP World

That map should be altered. Jesusland just got a lot smaller, given the results of the last election...


Yes it. I suspect if will get even smaller if shiat ever gets real. Some people may be bigoted tools, but not all are complete idiots.
 
2012-11-11 09:26:25 PM

fluffy2097: nmemkha: DemonEater: HST's Dead Carcass: Once they all leave, they'll have to pick a new name, Th USA is taken.

That part's EASY.

The Confederate States of America. You know they'll do it.

Anecdotally, most creative people tend to have Liberal views so its your suggestion or:

The United Christian States of America

I thought they were just going to name it "Bain Capital Holdings"


maybe they should call it "We didn't learn the first two times"
 
2012-11-11 09:40:06 PM

chuckufarlie: maybe they should call it "We didn't learn the first two times"


That would require a level of self awareness they clearly do not have.

"We're gonna do it right this time land" might work. Republicans will assume it means they'll make a better America without the rest of the country, Everyone else will realize they've taken it in the ass all the previous times they've tried.
 
2012-11-11 09:43:17 PM

PiperArrow: The US continues to suffer economic difficulties stemming from the federal government's neglect to reform domestic and foreign spending. The citizens of the US suffer from blatant abuses of their rights such as the NDAA, the TSA, etc. Given that the state of Texas maintains a balanced budget and is the 15th largest economy in the world, it is practically feasible for Texas to withdraw from the union, and to do so would protect it's citizens' standard of living and re-secure their rights and liberties in accordance with the original ideas and beliefs of our founding fathers which are no longer being reflected by the federal government.

A product of the Texas educational system, no doubt.


Hey I make that mistake every once in a while.

But wait, I was educated in Texas, hmm...
 
2012-11-11 09:55:04 PM
Its still boring.

A petition to clone Sherman and whip the south into shape? That's exciting.
 
2012-11-11 10:03:29 PM

sprag: A petition to clone Sherman and whip the south into shape? That's exciting.


Sherman Hemsley?
 
2012-11-11 10:05:49 PM
We barely get the internees in Arkansas. Hence we aren't on the list.
/
 
2012-11-11 10:14:09 PM

Harry_Seldon: sprag: A petition to clone Sherman and whip the south into shape? That's exciting.

Sherman Hemsley?


www.eurthisnthat.com
 
2012-11-11 10:14:35 PM
And they say Dems were butthurt in 2000. It's nearly been a week and GOPers are still pissing themselves.
 
2012-11-11 10:25:00 PM

Smackledorfer: You get nothing that could be classified as upriver either, because we know how you farkers are going to pollute the shiat out ofinto it immediately.


FTFY
 
2012-11-11 10:32:31 PM

Evil High Priest: BlippityBleep: oh gawd let oregon go. pleasepleasepleaseplease!

FREEMYPEOPLE! FREEMYPEOPLE!


haha you misunderstand me. i spent 5 years in that shiathole and the dunning-kruger effect is working overtime in that mess. i'd love to see what would happen to them.
 
2012-11-11 10:32:40 PM
Every time I hear these whiny dumbfarks scream succession, I keep on hoping the President would let them all migrate to one state, get everyone who doesn't want to secede out of said, state, then lock off its borders and declare it a separate country.

They'd never stop screaming for help once the US government stopped giving them money to live long enough to write up their own constitution and set up their own government.
 
2012-11-11 10:55:13 PM
If they want to go, here's what I propose:

a) All US possessions to be returned to the US government (government buildings are to be converted, if necessary, to consulates--assuming, of course, the US doesn't consider the Neo-Confederacy to be an innately hostile power and have Switzerland as its representing power...and knowing some of the whargarbl that neo-Confederate secessionists DO spout, I do think the relationship would end that way). Yes, this includes whatever gold/silver/alien artifacts may be stored at Fort Knox's vaults; no, you cannot has, not yours.

b) The US government will grant refugee status and ultimate citizenship to anyone wishing to leave the Neo-Confederacy due to a legitimate concern of persecution due to racial, religious, sexual orientation or gender identification, or political status. (Pretty much neo-Confederates have all but stated that they intend to explicitly disenfranchise non-dominionists, and more than a few have even called for explicit progroms and mass killings of LGBT people, neopagans and members of non-Abrahamic faiths, and "liberals".)

c) Assuming they decide to apply at all for UN membership (not a given, because most of those neo-Confederates are also FIERCELY anti-UN) the US reminds them that it has a permanent seat on the UN Security Council and will have a strong say over ultimate recognition.

d) The US reserves the right to militarily invade in such cases where the national security of the United States or its possessions are threatened by the neo-Confederacy, up to and including targeted attacks against US nationals or Neo-CSA persons seeking to immigrate to the United States.

e) Upon such time that the secessionist states come crawling back on their hands and knees begging forgiveness, they will NOT be reincorporated as states but as unincorporated, unorganised territories of the United States in a similar status to Guam assuming no hostilities have been launched against the US. At this point they will NOT be full US citizens (only US nationals, just as in the case of Guam) and primary developmental efforts will concentrate on the reintroduction to plural-party democracy and development of industry (because it's probably going to be just as shiatty as Guam's at this point, if not Zimbabwe-esque levels of "Farked Economy").

After an acceptable period of management as an unincorporated, unorganised possession (with an appropriate governor of affairs reporting to the Office of Insular Affairs, Department of the Interior) they may petition for commonwealth status; after an acceptable period of time as commonwealths and showing loyalty to the US (and affording time to allow the Neo-Confederacy territory to be brought up to standards of a developed nation--many of the individual states, including Louisiana and Mississippi, have development levels as is only to the point of less developed nations) they may petition for statehood.

If they are very very good and very very lucky they may even get statehood as quickly as Puerto Rico has. :D (Frankly, the biggest goddamn mistake this country ever did was letting Reconstruction end too soon. We spent longer in Germany and Japan after World War II and they still have issues with their local Nazi-resurrectionist and "Emperor First" political movements, and suffice it to say that the infected wound that welled up in the Civil War has festered a LOT longer.)

f) In the case where a state of the Neo-Confederacy (or the Neo-Confederacy itself) has engaged in hostile acts against the United States, United States persons (including nationals) or persons seeking nationality and/or asylum in the US or in such a case where active human rights violations have occurred (including disenfranchisement of populations, genocide, ethnocide and "ethnic cleansing", and so on) they will NOT start as an unincorporated, unorganised territory but will in fact be organised as frank military districts (in the same model as both the original concept of Reconstruction and--more apt to today--the military district set up in Japan from 1945 until restoration of home rule in 1951). Suffice it to say that all management will be conducted by specific appointed governors, there will be a longterm and extensive program of "De-Dixification" (yes, in the general model of De-Nazification programs), unorganised and unincorporated territory status will NOT be given until such time as it is adjudged that "De-Dixification" of such districts is successful, and until this is done these areas will be considered to be under martial law.

If the Neo-Confederacy is ESPECIALLY naughty--re-establishment of "Biblical Slavery", genocide, that sort of thing--the US also reserves the right to call in full NATO and/or United Nations support towards a final pacification and "De-Dixification" of the Neo-Confederacy. In short: You will wish the President and the General of the Army at that period was William Tecumseh Sherman, because the March to the Sea may well end up looking gentle in comparison. (And yes, let's just say that the US and our partner nations in NATO HAVE gotten some very nice training in urban warfare in the US. Ironically, one of the bigger facilities for this training is in fact in Kentucky.)
 
2012-11-11 10:56:39 PM
President Obama must act without hesitation and reinforce Fort Sumter immediately.
 
2012-11-11 11:06:34 PM
Not to point out anything rational, but every national company would leave these states. Wal-Mart would leave - let Texas negotiate its own trade agreements with China. Dell would leave - US companies would not retain a foreign-owned service company. NASA would leave. Oil from Texas-based companies would be heavily tarriffed on import into the United States - let's tax them 50%! Why not?

These morons had a chance to change the course of history - it's called 'voting'. I wonder how many people signing these petitions didn't actually vote.
 
2012-11-11 11:14:18 PM
Oooh, several hundreds of people in some cases. Scary.
 
2012-11-11 11:16:14 PM

runwiz: President Obama must act without hesitation and reinforce Fort Sumter immediately.


That should end on a high note.
 
2012-11-11 11:17:15 PM
How could secession work for these states financially? Some of them, for example Mississippi, take in almost 2 dollars for every dollar in Federal taxes. Some, like Texas, are about even. So, would a state like Texas institute an income tax equal to the old Federal tax to replace that money? Or would they just cut all social programs and defense spending to zero for some real savings? Even if they are hoping that all those "freeloaders" on welfare or unemployment leave, that is only 11% of the total federal budget, there isn't that much savings there. Maybe they could force other "undesirables" such as those retired on social security or those needing medical care to leave or die as well, and have some savings that way, but how much could it be? They would have to ditch or kill half of their population, all retired people and have no defense budget or medical care to reduce the tax to zero. They would be faced with raising state taxes to replace at least a bare minimum of the old Federal services. Not to mention that they are going to have one severe brain drain or professionals that don't want to live in a third world country any more.
 
2012-11-11 11:26:29 PM
And.... Now Facebook is flooded with "15 STATES WANT TO SECEDE!!!" idiocy.

This is why we can't have nice things.
 
2012-11-11 11:32:53 PM

deeyablo: I love my state (Texas), and I think Houston is incredibly underrated. Massive amount of cultural diversity, learning, arts, good people, great food.

The direction my state has been going, I am not against moving. I have lived here my entire life, and consider myself Texan, through and through. That said, I think I need to be in a state that wants to go in a direction I believe in, where education is not politicized, where the working poor are not marginalized, where people care about the glory of their natural world, and want to preserve it.

I wish for better for my state. It causes me anguish.


I love Texas too. The derp is heavy, wade through it. Our US of A needs our brass balls. Stay the course.
 
2012-11-11 11:43:14 PM

acanuck: wow - all 328 Republicans in Oregon signed the petition.

The butt...it hurts


Now we know how Gary is passing the time.
 
2012-11-11 11:59:22 PM

propasaurus: acanuck: wow - all 328 Republicans in Oregon signed the petition.

The butt...it hurts

Now we know how Gary is passing the time.


You're assuming he's still alive and not dead of some self-inflicted gunshot wound in the bottom of his silo.

I heard some cartridge casings hitting the floor.
 
2012-11-12 12:14:06 AM

acanuck: wow - all 328 Republicans in Oregon signed the petition.

The butt...it hurts


Outside of Portland or college towns = Idaho, West. I live in the red part of Oregon, and I'm less than an hour out of PDX.

There are plenty of dirt-farmin' rednecks in these here parts, right down to confederate flags and wife-beaters.
 
2012-11-12 12:19:04 AM

Lenny_da_Hog: acanuck: wow - all 328 Republicans in Oregon signed the petition.

The butt...it hurts

Outside of Portland or college towns = Idaho, West. I live in the red part of Oregon, and I'm less than an hour out of PDX.

There are plenty of dirt-farmin' rednecks in these here parts, right down to confederate flags and wife-beaters.


Just go a little south of Eugene. Redneck meth-head heaven...
 
2012-11-12 12:25:10 AM

mediablitz: Lenny_da_Hog: acanuck: wow - all 328 Republicans in Oregon signed the petition.

The butt...it hurts

Outside of Portland or college towns = Idaho, West. I live in the red part of Oregon, and I'm less than an hour out of PDX.

There are plenty of dirt-farmin' rednecks in these here parts, right down to confederate flags and wife-beaters.

Just go a little south of Eugene. Redneck meth-head heaven...


You people aren't kidding. I live in PDX and I talk with seemingly absolutely reasonable people, and for some reason I start talking politics with them, and I immediately think, "Whut, where did that come from?"

I had one woman I know compare Obama to Hitler because she considers them both charismatic.
 
2012-11-12 12:33:58 AM
they don't realize how racist and butthurt, childish and stupid this looks, do they

/damn you texas grow the f*ck up
 
2012-11-12 12:40:37 AM

js34603: Stop cheering for states to leave the country, it makes you look just as bad as them.


The "movement" in this story is just a few disgruntled crazies angry that a America, to quote a GOP bumper sticker, Re-Nigged in 2012. But what if this were a serious, credible movement to secede? I wouldn't cheer for states to leave the country, but if the citizens of said state(s) decide they no longer want to be part of the UNITED States of America, that's their choice and I'm not going to waste my time begging them to stay. Our nation would be better off with fewer states who want to move forward and improve our lives rather than focusing on getting the black guy out of the White House. That's not to say we'll always agree - we won't. But disagreeing with someone who has America's best interest at heart is light years away from disagreeing with today's GOP that simply wants to stick it to Obama and the Libs.

So to recap: cheering? No. But if you want to leave, the door is right there. And if that makes me look "just as bad" in your eyes, I can live with that very easily.
 
2012-11-12 12:49:09 AM

The Why Not Guy: js34603: Stop cheering for states to leave the country, it makes you look just as bad as them.

The "movement" in this story is just a few disgruntled crazies angry that a America, to quote a GOP bumper sticker, Re-Nigged in 2012. But what if this were a serious, credible movement to secede? I wouldn't cheer for states to leave the country, but if the citizens of said state(s) decide they no longer want to be part of the UNITED States of America, that's their choice and I'm not going to waste my time begging them to stay. Our nation would be better off with fewer states who want to move forward and improve our lives rather than focusing on getting the black guy out of the White House. That's not to say we'll always agree - we won't. But disagreeing with someone who has America's best interest at heart is light years away from disagreeing with today's GOP that simply wants to stick it to Obama and the Libs.

So to recap: cheering? No. But if you want to leave, the door is right there. And if that makes me look "just as bad" in your eyes, I can live with that very easily.


As an Australian, I'm not at all invested in this but it would seem that the Fed would do well to appoint a really lousy attorney to oppose the cases of states who draw a hell of a lot more in funding than they contribute. So appoint someone very sensible in the case of NY, NJ, Texas etc, and a drunkard in the cases involving some of the others. Literally hundreds of millions of Americans would benefit.
 
2012-11-12 01:04:51 AM
More like a couple hundred angry, misinformed people from 15 states. Good riddance.
 
2012-11-12 01:07:14 AM

OtherLittleGuy: All those troops from Iraq and Afghanistan are coming home.


Wait, really? My cousin just got shipped there.
 
2012-11-12 01:09:39 AM
The secession of the first dozen would not only increase the economic well being of the US, but would increase the average IQ by 20 points at least, which would require those test to be recalibrated. That would be a good thing. Getting 200 signatures on a petition in New York would be possible regardless of the question, so their count has no meaning.

The main problem with all those states seceding is that it would create a whole bunch of third world countries who would probably even be greater leaches on the US then they are now.
 
2012-11-12 01:13:16 AM
img389.imageshack.us

/shocked this hasn't been posted
 
2012-11-12 01:13:18 AM
i42.photobucket.com
 
NFA [TotalFark]
2012-11-12 01:17:53 AM
"Fifteen states file petitions to secede? Now we're talking "


firstfriday.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-11-12 01:17:54 AM
Will they begin by canceling the Pledge of Allegence?
. . ... , I N D I V I S I B L E, with Liberty and Justice for all (1).

(1) all does not include gays, atheists, arabs, muslums, and worst of all, liberals.
 
2012-11-12 01:26:08 AM

Mugato: machodonkeywrestler: I'd like to point out that Obama got 46% of the popular vote from GA.

That's what sucks about the electoral college. Not every part of Georgia are shiat kicking hicks and Florida for example is like three different countries.


I have the misfortune of living in a place sometimes referred to as "Bonus Georgia". Jacksonville, Florida. Where no matter how dumb someone is on the internet, they're still smarter than the drivers around me.
 
2012-11-12 01:30:07 AM

NFA: nonsense


I love how you read a story about people in fifteen states filing nonsense petitions to secede because Barack Obama won the election and think "wow, Democrats sure are whiny"
 
2012-11-12 01:51:19 AM
Louisiana
2012 Presidential Election

As of Saturday November 10, 2012, 15 States backwards, hickish, tea-party morons from 15 states have petitioned the Obama Administration for withdrawal from the United States of America in order to create its own government.


Fixed that for accuracy...

How about we all just pitch in and buy them all an inflatable pool island from wally world and set them adrift in their new libertarian paradise?
 
NFA [TotalFark]
2012-11-12 01:54:47 AM

The Why Not Guy: NFA: nonsense

I love how you read a story about people in fifteen states filing nonsense petitions to secede because Barack Obama won the election and think "wow, Democrats sure are whiny"


Nah, just a mistake. I attempted to post one like below but it didn't work, so I selected another not realizing it said Democratic party.

t2.gstatic.com
 
2012-11-12 02:09:18 AM
More secession talk after 150 years. And for basically the same reasons, too.
 
2012-11-12 05:36:28 AM
This would never happen. The BCS would never allow it.
 
2012-11-12 06:27:13 AM
Let 'em go.
 
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