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(Huffington Post)   After Hurricane Sandy, Nestle donates hundreds of Hot Pockets to Newark residents. First water, then fire, now lava - they can't catch a break   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 53
    More: Strange, Cory Booker, hundreds, the city, Hot Pockets, newark, David Chang, Shake Shack, Grub Street  
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2163 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Nov 2012 at 8:00 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-11 04:50:05 AM
NIce Headline,  Subby.
 
2012-11-11 07:01:47 AM
This is most definitely true of the barbeque variety.
 
2012-11-11 07:22:23 AM
...place directly in toilet.
 
2012-11-11 08:06:41 AM
Are they trying to kill them?

Hot pockets suck.
 
2012-11-11 08:06:47 AM
I have to admit... as marketing stunts go, this one was pretty clever.
 
2012-11-11 08:09:33 AM
Seriously Subby? "Than" refers to a comparison. "Then" is the transition. Ruined a goddamn good headline.
 
2012-11-11 08:10:12 AM
Mountain Dew and Doritos would be better.
 
2012-11-11 08:15:03 AM
Hooooot pooooockets.
 
2012-11-11 08:16:07 AM
Good morning! You're about to call in sick.

/Hoooooot pooooockets
 
2012-11-11 08:19:13 AM
Adam Curry must be laughing himself to death about now.
 
2012-11-11 08:23:33 AM
2.bp.blogspot.com

I F*CKA UPPA YOU MOUF!
 
2012-11-11 08:28:17 AM
I nuked and bit into a hot pocket only to have my helpless mouth filled with scalding molten cheese and meat chunks exactly once in my life and that was years ago.
Never again.
Nevar.
 
2012-11-11 08:32:03 AM
media.avclub.com

/hot, like pockets
 
2012-11-11 08:32:12 AM
If people just read the directions which clearly state to let the hot pocket rest for a few minutes before chomping into it there wouldn't be so many injuries.
 
2012-11-11 08:35:17 AM

abadabba: If people just read the directions which clearly state to let the hot pocket rest for a few minutes before chomping into it there wouldn't be so many injuries.


Screw that. Years of impatience has given me an iron mouth. No food is too molten lava hot for me to bite into immediately!
 
2012-11-11 08:35:31 AM

abadabba: If people just read the directions which clearly state to let the hot pocket rest for a few minutes before chomping into it there wouldn't be so many injuries.


There is no way to prepare a Hot Pocket without a bunch of cold and an insanely hot part. You can wait five times as long as it took to heat up (which defeats the purpose) and it will still be true.
 
2012-11-11 08:41:20 AM

abadabba: If people just read the directions which clearly state to let the hot pocket rest for a few minutes before chomping into it there wouldn't be so many injuries.


Guess I'm used to eating them once I cook them, never had any problems no matter how hot they are
 
2012-11-11 08:44:04 AM
How are people who have no electricity supposed to heat these?
 
2012-11-11 08:44:40 AM

BeerBear: abadabba: If people just read the directions which clearly state to let the hot pocket rest for a few minutes before chomping into it there wouldn't be so many injuries.

Guess I'm used to eating them once I cook them, never had any problems no matter how hot they are


Or, your mouth has become a sodium-encrusted callus.
 
2012-11-11 08:46:47 AM

thamike: abadabba: If people just read the directions which clearly state to let the hot pocket rest for a few minutes before chomping into it there wouldn't be so many injuries.

There is no way to prepare a Hot Pocket without a bunch of cold and an insanely hot part. You can wait five times as long as it took to heat up (which defeats the purpose) and it will still be true.


i309.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-11 08:49:10 AM
Kinda late for sandbags, right?
 
2012-11-11 08:52:22 AM
As long as they're not Alabama hot pockets
 
2012-11-11 08:54:54 AM

Sass-O-Rev: How are people who have no electricity supposed to heat these?


That was my first thought. My second was "cheeseburger".
 
2012-11-11 08:57:05 AM

abadabba: If people just read the directions which clearly state to let the hot pocket rest for a few minutes before chomping into it there wouldn't be so many injuries.


I challenge you to follow the directions exactly and eat one of these without being burned.
When the outside is cool enough to bite, the inside is just below the vaporization temperature of molten titanium.
 
2012-11-11 08:57:51 AM

Sass-O-Rev: How are people who have no electricity supposed to heat these?


They can grill them!
 
2012-11-11 09:00:56 AM
I blame Obama.
 
2012-11-11 09:05:31 AM

Honest Bender: abadabba: If people just read the directions which clearly state to let the hot pocket rest for a few minutes before chomping into it there wouldn't be so many injuries.

Screw that. Years of impatience has given me an iron mouth. No food is too molten lava hot for me to bite into immediately!


And I though the molten lava is what comes out the other end after you eat a Hot Pocket.
 
2012-11-11 09:09:39 AM
I knew (online) the ex-husband of the woman whose family owned Hot Pockets. He was angry over not getting his way in his divorce, and molten lava regularly flowed from his fingertips whenever he left messages about her all over the web. Heh heh.
 
2012-11-11 09:16:23 AM
I've not had an issue with scalding hot pockets.

Wifey just recently learned about the tear-away on the crisping sleeve after watching me. She was so excited.
 
2012-11-11 09:20:34 AM

Kriggerel: As long as they're not Alabama hot pockets


Goddamnitsomuch. I did not need to know about that. Damn you, Kriggerel, and damn you, Urban Dictionary.
 
2012-11-11 09:27:18 AM
The last time they donated needed sustenance to black people it was cans of flour and water marked baby formula. 


/chicken and waffle hot pocket?
 
2012-11-11 09:46:41 AM
Would've been hundreds of thousands of those things, except Gov. Christie had to taste-test them.
 
2012-11-11 09:55:05 AM
Haven't those people suffered enough?
 
2012-11-11 10:00:51 AM

e lo: Kriggerel: As long as they're not Alabama hot pockets

Goddamnitsomuch. I did not need to know about that. Damn you, Kriggerel, and damn you, Urban Dictionary.


Ah, thank you. Glad to be of cervix. :P
 
2012-11-11 10:04:54 AM

Kriggerel: e lo: Kriggerel: As long as they're not Alabama hot pockets

Goddamnitsomuch. I did not need to know about that. Damn you, Kriggerel, and damn you, Urban Dictionary.

Ah, thank you. Glad to be of cervix. :P


Put a helmet on your soldier, if you don't want to see the doc about a dose of corndog.
 
2012-11-11 10:17:45 AM
I contributed a pallet of Cap'n Crunch, but forgot to send milk.

Was that wrong?
 
2012-11-11 10:26:02 AM

cleveoh: I contributed a pallet of Cap'n Crunch, but forgot to send milk.

Was that wrong?


No, it doesn't really matter if you add milk anyway. It just turns into abrasive mush.
 
2012-11-11 10:36:47 AM
Wouldn't it be easier just to stick them directly in the toilet?
 
2012-11-11 10:50:13 AM
Haven't those people suffered enough?

Apparently they're not suffering anymore because Obama went golfing. Things *must* be back to normal, right?

/only if you're a democrat
 
2012-11-11 10:52:36 AM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Wouldn't it be easier just to stick them directly in the toilet?


Easier, but less satisfying. Hot pocket shiats are like justice.
 
2012-11-11 11:41:59 AM
Hot Pockets should be a Controlled Substance
 
2012-11-11 11:43:40 AM

thamike: abadabba: If people just read the directions which clearly state to let the hot pocket rest for a few minutes before chomping into it there wouldn't be so many injuries.

There is no way to prepare a Hot Pocket without a bunch of cold and an insanely hot part. You can wait five times as long as it took to heat up (which defeats the purpose) and it will still be true.


Only if you're a goddamned idiot.
 
2012-11-11 11:43:57 AM
How has this not been posted yet? Gotta heat it up to eat it up!

Pocket Like It's Hot - Snoop, DeStorm & Andy Milonakis
 
2012-11-11 12:18:21 PM

nekom: This is most definitely true of the barbeque variety.


I always poked holes in them with a fork to ventilate them before eating. Yeah the BBQ ones are among the worst do burning you.
 
2012-11-11 12:22:58 PM
So this act of kindness is in response to a couple of tweets someone saw? Heck, next time they should tweet that they are out of whiskey and fresh hookers.

/The trick to Hot Pockets is to undercook them by fifteen seconds, then let them rest for a minute and finish cooking on their own.
 
2012-11-11 12:28:28 PM
Hot Pockets suck so much that Ore-Ida Bagel Bites taste like gourmet food in comparison.

/Bagel Bites are total crap
 
2012-11-11 12:40:39 PM

Kriggerel: As long as they're not Alabama hot pockets


I'll never look at a barbecue hot pocket the same again.
 
2012-11-11 02:48:44 PM

Your Average Witty Fark User: thamike: abadabba: If people just read the directions which clearly state to let the hot pocket rest for a few minutes before chomping into it there wouldn't be so many injuries.

There is no way to prepare a Hot Pocket without a bunch of cold and an insanely hot part. You can wait five times as long as it took to heat up (which defeats the purpose) and it will still be true.

Only if you're a goddamned idiot.


I'm not the one eating Hot Pockets, genius.
 
2012-11-11 02:49:38 PM
Yeah, you wanna stock up on that microwaveable frozen food in case the power goes out.
 
2012-11-11 11:20:27 PM

peg_leg: Are they trying to kill them?

Hot pockets suck.


I like Hot Pockets. Actually, I buy the Lean Pockets.
 
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