If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Duplicate of another approved link: 7417169


(Telegraph)   UFO enthusiasts: Woops, sorry, our bad, the Truth actually ISN'T out there after all   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 38
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

2000 clicks; Favorite

38 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-11-10 11:57:31 PM
True believers will never give up.
 
2012-11-11 12:10:36 AM

Bucky Katt: True believers will never give up.


They're just waiting on their No-Prizes

/EXCELSIOR!
 
2012-11-11 12:11:44 AM
Declining numbers of "flying saucer" sightings and failure to establish proof of alien existence has led UFO enthusiasts to admit they might not exist after all.

That's just proof that there's a conspiracy to cover up their existence. Wake up people!!!
 
2012-11-11 12:14:21 AM
Its current president Lionel Fanthorpe has claimed in its journal that King Arthur was an alien who came to Earth to save humans from invading extraterrestrials.

media.ove.cybermage.se
 
2012-11-11 12:15:56 AM
That must be sorta how Manson felt after listening to thewhitealbum.wav
 
2012-11-11 12:37:40 AM
I WANT TO BELIEVE... I guess... maybe
 
2012-11-11 12:44:32 AM
Well, if it is just us, it would be an awful waste of space.
 
2012-11-11 12:46:42 AM
DISINFO AGENTS!!!!!1
 
2012-11-11 12:52:03 AM

InternetSecurityGuard: Well, if it is just us, it would be an awful waste of space.


I don't think anyone is saying that aliens aren't real. I think they're suggesting the probability that they spend their free time buzzing people in trailer parks is pretty low.
 
2012-11-11 12:54:18 AM
1.bp.blogspot.com

Your scientists have yet to discover how neural networks create self-consciousness, let alone how the human brain processes two-dimensional retinal images into the three-dimensional phenomenon known as perception. Yet you somehow brazenly declare that seeing is believing!
 
2012-11-11 12:59:35 AM
My personal theory has always been that the UFOs reported were really time travelers from the future that were visiting the past to get untainted human genetic material because at some point in the future our DNA has become so compromised by genetic engineering that we need to di a big reset back to the baseline genome. The UFO abductions reported are from an expedition to gather samples from various points in time prior to the beginning of widespread genetic engineering. The craft are capable of space travel because once you make the journey to the past you have travel through space to reach where the Earth was hundreds or thousands of years ago because everything in the universe is moving.

With this in mind, maybe the decline in sightings is due to us being on the cusp of widespread genetic engineering, so it is not worth mounting an expedition to our decade because we are so close to the cutoff point for getting clean genetic samples.
 
2012-11-11 01:04:00 AM
UFO, angel, jesus, atlantis, bigfoot, ghosts. Same mental illness different manifestation.
 
2012-11-11 02:19:13 AM
This is NOT to say there aren't likely aliens out there

However, why would they want to visit us even if they could???

The likelyhood of UFO's is almost nil,
not impossible...but just because we're the center of OUR universe...doesn't mean that for them.
 
2012-11-11 02:38:40 AM

Mad_Radhu: My personal theory has always been that the UFOs reported were really time travelers from the future that were visiting the past to get untainted human genetic material because at some point in the future our DNA has become so compromised by genetic engineering that we need to di a big reset back to the baseline genome. The UFO abductions reported are from an expedition to gather samples from various points in time prior to the beginning of widespread genetic engineering. The craft are capable of space travel because once you make the journey to the past you have travel through space to reach where the Earth was hundreds or thousands of years ago because everything in the universe is moving.

You are suprisingly close. But you've failed a little. Human DNA hasn't been overly affected by genetic tampering. Too many presidents and politicians worried about upsetting the God fearing folk with that ensured that genetic tampering was kept to a minimum. No, what happens is that the code of "survival of the fittest" has been thrown out the window, people breed willy nilly with no thought to genetic superiority...over the next thousand years we as a species get weaker and weaker as nerds and socially inept, and those with genetic diseases don't have to compete with robust jocks for attention because they have money. No, time travellers are here (and further back in time as well) trying to get those more robust samples of DNA in order to correct the plathora of illnesses we are prone to in the future. After all, have you see the travellers heads? Huge brains, but bodies without a scant muscle stiched on anywhere....

With this in mind, maybe the decline in sightings is due to us being on the cusp of widespread genetic engineering, so it is not worth mounting an expedition to our decade because we are so close to the cutoff point for getting clean genetic samples.

 
2012-11-11 02:39:55 AM
oops, added the comment mid quote. I fail at the internet...
 
2012-11-11 02:42:08 AM

Mad_Radhu: My personal theory has always been that the UFOs reported were really time travelers from the future that were visiting the past to get untainted human genetic material because at some point in the future our DNA has become so compromised by genetic engineering that we need to di a big reset back to the baseline genome. The UFO abductions reported are from an expedition to gather samples from various points in time prior to the beginning of widespread genetic engineering. The craft are capable of space travel because once you make the journey to the past you have travel through space to reach where the Earth was hundreds or thousands of years ago because everything in the universe is moving.

With this in mind, maybe the decline in sightings is due to us being on the cusp of widespread genetic engineering, so it is not worth mounting an expedition to our decade because we are so close to the cutoff point for getting clean genetic samples.


It's a good thing that so much quality DNA resided in the anal cavities of moustachioed rednecks during the 1970s.
 
2012-11-11 02:47:57 AM
Kind of sad, in a way. But for the gullible and easily amused, there will always be someone finding an apparition of Jesus on a piece of toast.
 
2012-11-11 03:00:43 AM
Wait, are they saying streetlights don't exist?
 
2012-11-11 03:03:01 AM
I don't want to believe.
 
2012-11-11 03:16:52 AM
Maybe they were here in the 70s, but had their project's funding cut, so had to pack up and go home.
 
2012-11-11 03:26:44 AM

Mad_Radhu: My personal theory has always been that the UFOs reported were really time travelers from the future that were visiting the past to get untainted human genetic material because at some point in the future our DNA has become so compromised by genetic engineering that we need to di a big reset back to the baseline genome. The UFO abductions reported are from an expedition to gather samples from various points in time prior to the beginning of widespread genetic engineering. The craft are capable of space travel because once you make the journey to the past you have travel through space to reach where the Earth was hundreds or thousands of years ago because everything in the universe is moving.

With this in mind, maybe the decline in sightings is due to us being on the cusp of widespread genetic engineering, so it is not worth mounting an expedition to our decade because we are so close to the cutoff point for getting clean genetic samples.


So what you're saying is that people from the future are capable of genetic engineering on a massive scale and even time (and space) travel, but can't figure out how to engineer a clean genome?
 
2012-11-11 03:32:50 AM
One thing I find funny is how small minded many are. Its a damn big place just in our galaxy, not to mention the millions of others. To think that intelligent life only evolved on one little backwater rock in one galaxy is not only silly, its utter self-importance.
 
2012-11-11 03:37:14 AM
100% of UFO sightings are real.

If i see something and I don't know what it is, it is classified as an "unidentified object"

if it is not in constant contact with the ground it would be considered flying...

Therefore anything in the sky I fail to immediately identify is an Unidentified Flying Object or "UFO". whether or not that thing is an alien spacecraft is a completely different story.
 
2012-11-11 04:13:14 AM
I'm pretty certain there has been, is, or will be other intelligent life in the universe. I don't think it is likely that we (those alive today) will meet any of them. The physics is just against us as far as interstellar travel goes. Intergalactic travel is pretty much out of the question unless we figure out how to do some really amazing things.

As far as humans traveling the cosmos... I'd suggest we send out a whole bunch of "seed ships" that could travel to likely habitable planets and if they can detect that they are in fact, habitable, it would thaw out sperm, eggs, and by means of robots, raise the children before arriving at the new colony (in time for them to be ready). If when approaching a target planet it manages to figure out that it isn't habitable, it would redirect the ship to a new target. It would keep doing that until it found one.

I know... not only is that scenario unlikely to end up working very well, but we wouldn't do it even if we could. Even if we were certain the Earth was going to become uninhabitable, we would probably just build ships for whoever is alive at the time to try and escape. Maybe...

I don't think extraterrestrials have ever been here (except maybe some bacteria or microbe on a comet, meteor, or whatever we might have plowed through in the last 4.54 billion years or so).
 
2012-11-11 05:15:56 AM
Of course they haven't seen any UFOs. Everyone knows the Greys were engineered by the Mi-Go to manipulate the Majest#£**CAR/RI%%ER LOST/***
 
2012-11-11 05:43:17 AM
Time and again, I have proposed this line of thought to ardent UFO believers.

As human beings, we have the technology to pass over your house many times a day and you will never know it happens. We can observe you from space from such a great distance that you can't even see the object observing you. We can even do this to whole countries, whole governments, and they would be lucky to detect it one in ten times with access to vast resources. Any alien life from another world will require a level of technology beyond our comprehension to even travel to our planet in a reasonable length of time.

They either want to be seen, or they don't. If they don't then with that level of technology they are not going to fly around with lights on in the dark night, or get close enough to be seen by human eyes. If they do want to be seen, then where they hell are they?
 
2012-11-11 05:58:04 AM
If aliens can cross the void between solar systems, why would they do so to examine a bunch of violent apes who can barely escape their own gravity well?
 
2012-11-11 06:11:14 AM
They came in search of intelligent life...

And left, disappointed.
 
2012-11-11 06:20:28 AM

untaken_name: Wait, are they saying streetlights don't exist?


As long as there are roads, there will be street lights, and as long as there are streetlights, there will be UFO siggtings. Rest easy
 
2012-11-11 06:34:37 AM
Hang in there guys, sparkly vampires and zombies are already over. Perhaps aliens will be the next big thing. You just need one break out movie, and people will start claiming every street light they see is an alien spaceship.

Personally, I had high hopes for Prometheus; but then the movie sucked.


Prediction: The release date of World War Z will be recorded and recognized as the end of the Zombie Fad.
 
2012-11-11 06:59:32 AM

RatMaster999: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 425x213]

Your scientists have yet to discover how neural networks create self-consciousness, let alone how the human brain processes two-dimensional retinal images into the three-dimensional phenomenon known as perception. Yet you somehow brazenly declare that seeing is believing!


That show hasn't aged particularly well, but that particular episode is one of the best ever put to television. It's a playful satire of themselves, even, and I loved it. Used to have it on VHS when was a young man (my lawn has man-eating plants on it, so you'd best get off it).

/off to find a download of that episode
//but that episode only
 
2012-11-11 07:00:23 AM

alienated: One thing I find funny is how small minded many are. Its a damn big place just in our galaxy, not to mention the millions of others. To think that intelligent life only evolved on one little backwater rock in one galaxy is not only silly, its utter self-importance.


One thing I find funny is your smugness.

The number of people who dismiss UFOs on the grounds that we are alone is close to zero. Most people dismiss UFOs precisely because it's "a damn big place just in our galaxy". The chances of another civilization finding us at all, let alone finding us in the narrow window of time in which intelligent life has existed here, which just happens to overlap the narrow window in which it exists on their planet too -- those chances are vanishingly small.

And the belief that an alien civilization beats those odds so that it can spook hicks, mutilate cows, and pass up the chance to make contact with another intelligent species is just silly.

Anyway, the next time you set out to parade your superiority and patronize people more thoughtful than you, it would help to be in the right.
 
2012-11-11 07:01:59 AM

Meerlar: 100% of UFO sightings are real.

If i see something and I don't know what it is, it is classified as an "unidentified object"

if it is not in constant contact with the ground it would be considered flying...

Therefore anything in the sky I fail to immediately identify is an Unidentified Flying Object or "UFO". whether or not that thing is an alien spacecraft is a completely different story.


Well done. I am sure you are the first person in the history of the Internet to explain to the rest of us what the literal meaning of "UFO" is.

/Truly, September never ended.
 
2012-11-11 07:21:28 AM

randomjsa: Time and again, I have proposed this line of thought to ardent UFO believers.

As human beings, we have the technology to pass over your house many times a day and you will never know it happens. We can observe you from space from such a great distance that you can't even see the object observing you. We can even do this to whole countries, whole governments, and they would be lucky to detect it one in ten times with access to vast resources. Any alien life from another world will require a level of technology beyond our comprehension to even travel to our planet in a reasonable length of time.

They either want to be seen, or they don't. If they don't then with that level of technology they are not going to fly around with lights on in the dark night, or get close enough to be seen by human eyes. If they do want to be seen, then where they hell are they?


Funny. I have almost the exact same discussion with Christians. I simply replace "alien" with "God."
 
2012-11-11 07:22:24 AM

randomjsa: Time and again, I have proposed this line of thought to ardent UFO believers.

As human beings, we have the technology to pass over your house many times a day and you will never know it happens. We can observe you from space from such a great distance that you can't even see the object observing you. We can even do this to whole countries, whole governments, and they would be lucky to detect it one in ten times with access to vast resources. Any alien life from another world will require a level of technology beyond our comprehension to even travel to our planet in a reasonable length of time.

They either want to be seen, or they don't. If they don't then with that level of technology they are not going to fly around with lights on in the dark night, or get close enough to be seen by human eyes. If they do want to be seen, then where they hell are they?


They're monitoring our internet transmissions.

How do I know YOU'RE not one of them???
 
2012-11-11 07:36:12 AM

Close2TheEdge: randomjsa: Time and again, I have proposed this line of thought to ardent UFO believers.

As human beings, we have the technology to pass over your house many times a day and you will never know it happens. We can observe you from space from such a great distance that you can't even see the object observing you. We can even do this to whole countries, whole governments, and they would be lucky to detect it one in ten times with access to vast resources. Any alien life from another world will require a level of technology beyond our comprehension to even travel to our planet in a reasonable length of time.

They either want to be seen, or they don't. If they don't then with that level of technology they are not going to fly around with lights on in the dark night, or get close enough to be seen by human eyes. If they do want to be seen, then where they hell are they?

Funny. I have almost the exact same discussion with Christians. I simply replace "alien" with "God."


Wait, you mean God doesn't speak to you directly and personally on a daily basis? You must be a worthless human being. Either that, or you aren't schizophrenic. One of the two, for sure.
 
2012-11-11 08:40:23 AM
All this proves is that the Barclay brothers are aliens.
 
2012-11-11 08:47:21 AM
I want to believe this is not a repeat
 
Displayed 38 of 38 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report