Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(USA Today)   Petraeus's affair was uncovered when his mistress threatened another woman in his life, proving that even if you're head of the CIA, don't stick your dick in crazy   (usatoday.com ) divider line
    More: Followup, Petraeus, CIA, Vice President Joe Biden, involvement, cia director  
•       •       •

4231 clicks; posted to Politics » on 10 Nov 2012 at 9:32 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



132 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2012-11-10 05:23:53 PM  
Picture of wife and picture of mistress in TFA. Maybe he should have has a threesome, they're both so hot.
 
2012-11-10 05:39:05 PM  
Obama not only made Petraeus fark her, he made her call and threaten his wife? What a monster he is.
 
2012-11-10 05:54:31 PM  
So this chick saw him emailing another woman and got jealous? What else did she see in his email?
 
2012-11-10 06:37:19 PM  
Down and out (maybe disgraced) detective D (maybe PI) (maybe Army criminal investigator) given a worthless case (emails harassing Babe B) he is meant to bury or just do his usual worthless job on (ever since Flashback F).

For seemingly no reason there are numerous attempts on his life, and people trying to throw him off the case, or persuade him to bury it. His best friend/priest/first wife shows up out of the blue to buy him a drink/go to bed with him/take him away.

Because the victim reminds him of his daughter/mother/first wife who he wronged and because he's a tenacious asshole who loves to stick it to the man he stays on the case when he turns up evidence of a scandal involving local politician/local priest/boss/Army General Vwho was originally involved in Flashback F and D's original disgrace (maybe fall).

In the end D has confronted V and taken him down. D and B can now continue their old relationship/D and B can now begin a new life/B goes on to marry as originally intended, and D is now redeemed but keeps his down and out life/B's life has changed and she goes to college while D and his dog pickup their shotgun throw it in the pickup and head down the road in the rain while an upbeat jazz improvisation soars.
 
2012-11-10 06:39:50 PM  
why is the alphabet having sex and playing jazz?
 
2012-11-10 06:56:13 PM  

TexasPeace: Picture of wife and picture of mistress in TFA. Maybe he should have has a threesome, they're both so hot.


lh6.googleusercontent.com

A clear upgrade...
 
2012-11-10 07:00:42 PM  
Paula Broadwell, author of the David Petraeus biography "All In,"

Ah, well at least this explains the biography's original working title.

/Yes, "Balls deep".

There's a a Quagmire joke in here somewhere but I'm not finding it. 

/No giggetty.
 
2012-11-10 07:11:20 PM  

BSABSVR: Obama not only made Petraeus fark her, he made her call and threaten his wife? What a monster he is.


Don't you see? Now he doesn't have to testify in front of Congress!! IT'S ALL SO CLEAR PEOPLE
 
2012-11-10 07:12:39 PM  

RoyBatty: Down and out (maybe disgraced) detective D (maybe PI) (maybe Army criminal investigator) given a worthless case (emails harassing Babe B) he is meant to bury or just do his usual worthless job on (ever since Flashback F).

For seemingly no reason there are numerous attempts on his life, and people trying to throw him off the case, or persuade him to bury it. His best friend/priest/first wife shows up out of the blue to buy him a drink/go to bed with him/take him away.

Because the victim reminds him of his daughter/mother/first wife who he wronged and because he's a tenacious asshole who loves to stick it to the man he stays on the case when he turns up evidence of a scandal involving local politician/local priest/boss/Army General Vwho was originally involved in Flashback F and D's original disgrace (maybe fall).

In the end D has confronted V and taken him down. D and B can now continue their old relationship/D and B can now begin a new life/B goes on to marry as originally intended, and D is now redeemed but keeps his down and out life/B's life has changed and she goes to college while D and his dog pickup their shotgun throw it in the pickup and head down the road in the rain while an upbeat jazz improvisation soars.


wtf am I reading?
 
2012-11-10 07:16:38 PM  
...don't stick your dick in crazy"

At the very least you don't do so without a viable exit strategy.
 
2012-11-10 07:16:39 PM  
can we have a schematic of that scenario, Roy? 'cause it ain't coming off in words.
 
2012-11-10 07:28:47 PM  
wwwimage.cbsnews.com
 
2012-11-10 07:46:57 PM  

quatchi: ...don't stick your dick in crazy"

At the very least you don't do so without a viable exit strategy.


Never secret fark anyone with less to lose than you do. That's my rule.
 
2012-11-10 07:51:16 PM  
Maybe he can get a job consulting on "Homeland" now.

// At least he's got that going for him.
 
2012-11-10 07:51:46 PM  
A federal law enforcement official told USA TODAY that the investigation, which began months ago, is largely complete

What did Obama investigate, and when did he first investigate? And how many OTHER high ranking government officials are under "investigation"? And how did he conspire to force them all to make people vote for him?

Look, I'm only asking questions here. But you can bet that Beck and Limbaugh will be asking the same questions. And then we'll all be sorry.
 
2012-11-10 08:43:47 PM  
thisisyourbrainonFark:

Aaaaand we're done
 
2012-11-10 08:53:34 PM  

make me some tea: RoyBatty: Down and out (maybe disgraced) detective D (maybe PI) (maybe Army criminal investigator) given a worthless case (emails harassing Babe B) he is meant to bury or just do his usual worthless job on (ever since Flashback F).

For seemingly no reason there are numerous attempts on his life, and people trying to throw him off the case, or persuade him to bury it. His best friend/priest/first wife shows up out of the blue to buy him a drink/go to bed with him/take him away.

Because the victim reminds him of his daughter/mother/first wife who he wronged and because he's a tenacious asshole who loves to stick it to the man he stays on the case when he turns up evidence of a scandal involving local politician/local priest/boss/Army General Vwho was originally involved in Flashback F and D's original disgrace (maybe fall).

In the end D has confronted V and taken him down. D and B can now continue their old relationship/D and B can now begin a new life/B goes on to marry as originally intended, and D is now redeemed but keeps his down and out life/B's life has changed and she goes to college while D and his dog pickup their shotgun throw it in the pickup and head down the road in the rain while an upbeat jazz improvisation soars.

wtf am I reading?


IKEA assembly instructions?
 
2012-11-10 08:55:29 PM  

i upped my meds-up yours: can we have a schematic of that scenario, Roy? 'cause it ain't coming off in words.


I think it is a hard boiled detective thriller as written by Torg.
 
2012-11-10 09:00:43 PM  

RoyBatty: Down and out (maybe disgraced) detective D (maybe PI) (maybe Army criminal investigator) given a worthless case (emails harassing Babe B) he is meant to bury or just do his usual worthless job on (ever since Flashback F).

For seemingly no reason there are numerous attempts on his life, and people trying to throw him off the case, or persuade him to bury it. His best friend/priest/first wife shows up out of the blue to buy him a drink/go to bed with him/take him away.

Because the victim reminds him of his daughter/mother/first wife who he wronged and because he's a tenacious asshole who loves to stick it to the man he stays on the case when he turns up evidence of a scandal involving local politician/local priest/boss/Army General Vwho was originally involved in Flashback F and D's original disgrace (maybe fall).

In the end D has confronted V and taken him down. D and B can now continue their old relationship/D and B can now begin a new life/B goes on to marry as originally intended, and D is now redeemed but keeps his down and out life/B's life has changed and she goes to college while D and his dog pickup their shotgun throw it in the pickup and head down the road in the rain while an upbeat jazz improvisation soars.


So is this the crazy? I'm reading crazy, aren't I?
 
2012-11-10 09:11:10 PM  

BSABSVR: i upped my meds-up yours: can we have a schematic of that scenario, Roy? 'cause it ain't coming off in words.

I think it is a hard boiled detective thriller as written by Torg.


i47.tinypic.com
I could smell trouble a mile off, and this poor kid was in trouble--big trouble. She was scared. Scared as a turkey in November. Scared like....OooOOoooTHIS PEN TASTES LIKE PURPLE!
 
2012-11-10 09:14:56 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: IKEA assembly instructions?


lulz
 
2012-11-10 09:16:25 PM  

heap: BSABSVR: i upped my meds-up yours: can we have a schematic of that scenario, Roy? 'cause it ain't coming off in words.

I think it is a hard boiled detective thriller as written by Torg.

[HardBoiledTorg]

I could smell trouble a mile off, and this poor kid was in trouble--big trouble. She was scared. Scared as a turkey in November. Scared like....OooOOoooTHIS PEN TASTES LIKE PURPLE!


Oh, teh lulz! ^__^

*makes mental note to click on Funny button for this post when said Funny button shows up*
 
2012-11-10 09:33:57 PM  
heap:

I lol'd
 
2012-11-10 09:35:45 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-11-10 09:38:36 PM  
I'm still surprised that people still think it's okay to use email and Facebook for things like making threats and bragging about crimes you've commited.
 
2012-11-10 09:38:57 PM  
CSB:

A friend of mine actually met Paula Broadwell recently when she gave a talk at the Kennedy School about what it was like to be an alum. During her talk she didn't say anything about the school or how it affected her life, it was all about how strict regimentation of time and personal relationships will make you a success. During the meet and greet afterward, she was basically a clueless jerk to anyone who talked to her. He had a good LOL when the news about Petraeus broke.
 
2012-11-10 09:40:31 PM  
i.usatoday.net


weknowmemes.com
 
2012-11-10 09:43:25 PM  

quatchi: At the very least you don't do so without a viable exit strategy.


Convenient alias, another city, hotel paid in cash, rental car, pay-as-you-go cellphone... am I missing anything?
 
2012-11-10 09:45:15 PM  
He was wearing that exact same outfit yesterday.

ww4.hdnux.com

Walk of Shame
 
2012-11-10 09:46:05 PM  

Arthur Jumbles: TexasPeace: Picture of wife and picture of mistress in TFA. Maybe he should have has a threesome, they're both so hot.

[lh6.googleusercontent.com image 400x251]

A clear upgrade...


Doesn't matter. The deal is she never asks whether he is cheating no matter how long he is deployed overseas. She never reads his mail, his email, or checks up on him with common acquaintances. She anchors the home while he is away rearing the children while worrying that she'll be made a widow at any moment. She attends official functions and is always polite no matter how much she hates the sob on her left. She hosts his friends in their home and uses the good china. She rips up her life and relocates at the drop of a hat.

All he is supposed to do in return in is never, never let her know that he cheated and tell her, each time he comes home, she's the only woman he'll ever want. He failed at keeping up his end of the bargain big time. Not only does she suffer the humiliation of knowing he cheated, it's in the news.
 
2012-11-10 09:48:04 PM  
Huh. My takeaway from all of this has been DON'T USE YOUR OFFICIAL EMAIL TO CONDUCT AFFAIRS THAT MAY BE HARMFUL TO YOUR CAREER.

/There was an Army officer in Des Moines that learned the same thing recently, emailing the head of the school district's email account from his .mil account. Both are now out of work.
 
2012-11-10 09:48:26 PM  
Actually if you are head of the CIA it's DOUBLE the reason not to.
 
2012-11-10 09:51:05 PM  
...but crazy is always so damn tempting. That's why I live in a secure building with a doorman and gated parking. So far no one has gone to the effort of showing up at the office... or trying to kill me on the street.

/knock on wood
//hehe... wood
 
2012-11-10 09:52:36 PM  

heap: Scared like....OooOOoooTHIS PEN TASTES LIKE PURPLE!


*applause*
 
2012-11-10 09:54:39 PM  

TexasPeace: Picture of wife and picture of mistress in TFA. Maybe he should have has a threesome, they're both so hot.


ww1.hdnux.com

HAWT.
 
2012-11-10 09:55:07 PM  

theorellior: quatchi: At the very least you don't do so without a viable exit strategy.

Convenient alias, another city, hotel paid in cash, rental car, pay-as-you-go cellphone... am I missing anything?


I'm partial to also employing a fake mustache while wearing overly large sunglasses as well as affecting a fake British accent in order to make tracking me down post coitus even more difficult but maybe that's me being paranoid.
 
2012-11-10 09:56:03 PM  
(hottocrazyscale.jpg) ?
 
2012-11-10 09:56:50 PM  
i1162.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-10 10:00:31 PM  

quatchi: I'm partial to also employing a fake mustache while wearing overly large sunglasses as well as affecting a fake British accent in order to make tracking me down post coitus even more difficult but maybe that's me being paranoid.


Might work, but I'd find keeping the mustache affixed, sunglasses on and British accent engaged during coitus to be a logistical nightmare.
 
2012-11-10 10:01:21 PM  
After the Edwards thing and now this I think most high profile wives are gonna have major problems in the future with any male politician type who decides they want to let some cute, crazy younger women follow them around for months in order to write biographies or do video documentaries on what a fine upstanding person they are.

Seriously, what did they think was gonna happen?
 
2012-11-10 10:02:34 PM  
Every picture of that woman sends shivers up my spine.

//Does anyone remember that monologue about a shark's cold, dead eyes from "Jaws"?
 
2012-11-10 10:09:02 PM  
When I first heard this story I was like so? Why should he resign? What does that have to do with anything?

But after thinking about it some more I'm glad he's resigning. If you're the head of the CIA you better be able to do shiat like this and not get caught. The head of the CIA should be a shadowy figure that nobody knows anything about and is surrounded by mystery and intrigue. Everything attributed to them should end in a question similar to "or is it?".

Hi, this is Bob, he's head of the CIA...OR IS HE?!
This is Bob's wife, Bobette...OR IS SHE?!
NOBODY KNOWS MAN!

Or maybe not. I have no idea what the purview of the CIA is these days and I don't really care. It would be cool if the head of the CIA could have an affair and -not- get busted though.

/Cheney would've been a pretty awesome head of the CIA I bet
//Maybe he's the real head of the CIA and this Petraeus dude is just the front-man
 
2012-11-10 10:15:56 PM  
I heard he was having an affair with a guy called Ben Gazi.
 
2012-11-10 10:20:59 PM  
In another article I read, there was a paragraph where Peter King confirmed that the investigation had been going on a few months. I loled thinking about how Peter King will soon be accused of being part of the liberal coverup by people who insist the affair story is bullshiat and this is all about Obama and Benghazi.

static3.businessinsider.com

Cant wait!
 
2012-11-10 10:22:05 PM  

Lunaville: Arthur Jumbles: TexasPeace: Picture of wife and picture of mistress in TFA. Maybe he should have has a threesome, they're both so hot.

[lh6.googleusercontent.com image 400x251]

A clear upgrade...

Doesn't matter. The deal is she never asks whether he is cheating no matter how long he is deployed overseas. She never reads his mail, his email, or checks up on him with common acquaintances. She anchors the home while he is away rearing the children while worrying that she'll be made a widow at any moment. She attends official functions and is always polite no matter how much she hates the sob on her left. She hosts his friends in their home and uses the good china. She rips up her life and relocates at the drop of a hat.

All he is supposed to do in return in is never, never let her know that he cheated and tell her, each time he comes home, she's the only woman he'll ever want. He failed at keeping up his end of the bargain big time. Not only does she suffer the humiliation of knowing he cheated, it's in the news.

Yep.
Do what you want but keep it together.
 
2012-11-10 10:23:08 PM  
Hell hath no fury like a broad well scorned.
 
2012-11-10 10:24:04 PM  
media.avclub.com
 
2012-11-10 10:25:19 PM  
i.imgur.com

"All In"?

The farking biography is called "ALL IN?"

Great googly moogly. So the obvious question becomes whether her Poon is really that tight or is his Dick really that big?
 
2012-11-10 10:27:53 PM  
#80 on Amazon.
 
2012-11-10 10:28:48 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
Displayed 50 of 132 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report