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(Daily Mail)   Steven Johnson, 24, broke into a home early Thursday morning and helped himself to an extravagant dinner of steak, clams, shrimp, and crab legs and washed it down with coconut rum and vanilla vodka before escaping with a box of Klondike bars   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 38
    More: Strange, Klondike, drills, Klondike bars, Petraeus  
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6070 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Nov 2012 at 6:46 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



38 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-11-10 11:56:11 AM
What would you do for a Klondike Bar?
 
2012-11-10 02:52:03 PM
coconut rum and vanilla vodka

Any butt plugs with that?
 
2012-11-10 03:24:59 PM
Stupid criminal stories are usually fun but drunken criminal stories are often better.

Hope he enjoyed it all cos I'm pretty sure they don't serve Klondike bars and coconut rum where he's going next.
 
2012-11-10 04:47:41 PM

Mugato: coconut rum and vanilla vodka

Any butt plugs with that?


I was going to say, with that mix of dinner and booze, that dump is going to be epic.
 
2012-11-10 06:52:41 PM
No HERO tag?
 
2012-11-10 06:53:18 PM
img33.imageshack.us
 
2012-11-10 06:56:05 PM
Need more details. Were the steak, clams, crab legs, and shrimp cooked, or did this guy just make a four course meal in someone else's kitchen?

Anyone breaking in to my place would be helping themselves to a delicious box of macaroni and cheese, maybe with a hot dog or brat assuming the buns haven't gone completely stale yet.
 
2012-11-10 06:57:27 PM
I wanna know why the couple was napping on the couch. Was Goldilocks in their bed?
 
2012-11-10 06:57:45 PM
i.dailymail.co.uk

What Klondike bars may look like.

Thanks Daily Fail!
 
2012-11-10 06:59:19 PM
He looks genuinely sorry.
 
2012-11-10 07:03:49 PM
"Oh, not the crab legs, those got left out on the counter last night."
 
2012-11-10 07:04:24 PM
I read it as Steven Jackson and was needless to say extremely disappointed.
 
2012-11-10 07:05:30 PM
Who just keeps steak, clams, shrimp AND crab-legs in their fridge? Isn't one or two at a time enough?
 
2012-11-10 07:08:31 PM
This is why I shred my grocery receipts, don't want others to know my kitchen is full of awesome eats.
 
2012-11-10 07:17:13 PM

you have pee hands: I read it as Steven Jackson and was needless to say extremely disappointed.


You're not the only one.
 
2012-11-10 07:18:03 PM

NobleHam: Who just keeps steak, clams, shrimp AND crab-legs in their fridge? Isn't one or two at a time enough?


You poor people crack me up!
 
2012-11-10 07:18:45 PM
From now on a rash of food related burglaries should be known as "Steven Johnson Syndrome"
 
2012-11-10 07:23:31 PM
I am also wondering how and why that assortment of food was available.
 
2012-11-10 07:26:03 PM

FlyingLizardOfDoom: What would you do for a Klondike Bar?


Came here for this.

/ must be read as "doo-oo-OO"
 
2012-11-10 07:52:51 PM
i2.listal.com

Are they sure it wasn't this woman who broke into their house?
 
2012-11-10 07:55:15 PM
Those candy bar/cookie/whatever Klondikes are awesome. I love the Oreo and Heath ones.
 
2012-11-10 08:02:56 PM
Once he had left, the owner called the police and the man was quickly apprehended

in pennsylvania? dailymail.co.uk? ok.

here in texas it would have taken at least 45 minutes after calling 911 for the cops to show up so that they could fill out paperwork about your robbery.
 
2012-11-10 08:06:08 PM

FlyingLizardOfDoom: What would you do for a Klondike Bar?


I would cross the street for a Klondike Bar!
 
2012-11-10 08:19:49 PM
Mmmm, vanilla vodak.
 
2012-11-10 08:21:29 PM

Pants full of macaroni!!: FlyingLizardOfDoom: What would you do for a Klondike Bar?

I would cross the street for a Klondike Bar!


Would you....would you kill a man?
 
2012-11-10 08:25:53 PM
i tend to make a ruckus preparing dinner when sober. this lad was shiatfaced late night and he was so quiet no one woke up eh? fixing a meal in a strangers house no less. okey-dokey.
 
2012-11-10 08:46:07 PM
I'm sure he also ate the home owner's Rolex collection, their Mona Lisa, and their 50lbs truffle.
 
2012-11-10 08:59:52 PM
Man I wish some burglar would raid my fridge, the resulting food poisoning would serve him right,

/I got some take out stuff on the bottom shelf thats old enough to vote
/would clean it out but the last time I tried the jello kicked my ass
 
2012-11-10 09:08:02 PM
and .. and... he ate my God Damned Clamcakes!


/banned off the royter
 
2012-11-10 09:08:26 PM

BigLuca: From now on a rash of food related burglaries should be known as "Steven Johnson Syndrome"


Well played, sir.
 
2012-11-10 09:37:02 PM
Stevie, how could you?
www.nflpassers.com
/eh, hot
 
2012-11-10 09:58:58 PM

BigLuca: From now on a rash of food related burglaries should be known as "Steven Johnson Syndrome"


LULZ!
Well played.
 
2012-11-10 11:22:14 PM
Product placement is very important in movie crime scenes and actual crime scenes.

If a van pulls up to you house, delivering a lot of expensive food you didn't order, prepare to be burglarized later in the day.  Just pray they have good taste so you can avoid the embarrassment in the newspaper articles with pictures.
 
2012-11-11 10:07:29 AM

superchump: Pants full of macaroni!!: FlyingLizardOfDoom: What would you do for a Klondike Bar?

I would cross the street for a Klondike Bar!

Would you....would you kill a man?


No way. Crossing the street is dangerous enough.
 
2012-11-11 11:48:28 AM

martid4: Mmmm, vanilla vodak.


You're a farking idiot.

Props to subby for spelling it correctly.
 
2012-11-11 12:37:33 PM
Also had tasty vanilla vodak last night though I didn't break into someone's house for surf and turf first. Kickass vanilla blueberry martini: 2 jiggers vanilla Absolut from the freezer, 2 jiggers Oceanspray blueberry juice, shake until you have to peel your fingers off the shaker. Serve in martini glass with blueberries. Drink with a snack.

/jiggity
 
2012-11-11 03:24:52 PM

Your Average Witty Fark User: martid4: Mmmm, vanilla vodak.

You're a farking idiot.

Props to subby for spelling it correctly.


Refresh my memory, did I tell you to blow me today?
 
2012-11-11 03:53:59 PM
Porridge wasn't good enough for him!
 
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