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(Cracked)   5 awesome movie robots with inexcusable design flaws. Click to see how high Keanu placed on the list   (cracked.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, T-1000, terminators, super strength, Southern California freeways, t-800, Autobot, Optimus Prime, pantsuit  
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13615 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 10 Nov 2012 at 10:58 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-10 09:15:30 AM  
1) Data wasn't built specifically to serve on a starship. He was basically Dr Sung's child, and could have grown up to be whatever he wanted. Didn't Sung actually express regret at one point, over Data's decision to join Starfleet?
2) The super strength probably comes from the fact that it's easier to build a machine that's super strong, then tone it down a little through software.
 
2012-11-10 09:22:04 AM  
Why couldn't Data use contractions?
 
2012-11-10 10:12:38 AM  
Here I am, brain the size of a planet and they ask me to take you down to the bridge
 
2012-11-10 10:33:10 AM  
The T-X wasn't just restricted to the Kristanna Loken form. Remember she also took the form of Kate Brewster's fiancee before killing the cops. Also, the T-1000 was not invulnerable. The freezing damaged it severely, to the point where it couldn't maintain form properly. Remember also that the T-1000 was restricted to blades and any weapons it could scavenge. The T-X had internal weaponry and technology (DNA analysis) and was designed not just to kill humans, but also rogue Terminators.

As for androids with super strength? If the designers just wanted regular beings for service, they could have got slaves. Easier to acquire for sure than going through all the trouble of designing the most advanced android in the galaxy.

And R2 can do anything? He was designed primarily to work directly with starships. That's why he can weld and reprogram computers - to repair damage sustained during spaceflight. He can speak through other computers (the cockpit display of Luke's X-Wing, for example) or fitted with a astromech translator. The reason they generally aren't is that most are simply used as tools, like a hydrospanner or a navicomputer. That R2 was treated as nicely as he was was odd. Either way, he was usually paired with C-3PO or a Jedi of some sort, who could translate using the Force.
 
2012-11-10 10:43:27 AM  
I think the larger issue is Skynet would have lost a game of checkers to a concussed Honey Boo Boo.

Of course, the movie franchise would have grossed a lot less money had Sarah Conner's Mom's delivery room doctor actually been a T-1000, or Sarah Conner's first Kindergarten teacher been a T-1000, or pretty much everyone else in her life pre-Kyle been a T-1000.
 
2012-11-10 11:06:47 AM  
"I've got this terrible pain down all the diodes in my left side."
 
2012-11-10 11:10:14 AM  
Given Marvin's total antipathy for all things human(oid) how did he NOT be elected President of the Galaxy?
 
2012-11-10 11:14:17 AM  
Luke and R2 talk a few times in one of the movies.
 
2012-11-10 11:21:45 AM  
Two things:

1.) The article sorely omits J-5 from Blankman.

2.) The T-X would have been more effective if it straight-up destroyed the Arnold Terminator instead of going the route of James Bond Villainy (TM) and corrupting the Arnold Terminator's system.
 
2012-11-10 11:27:26 AM  

T.M.S.: Luke and R2 talk a few times in one of the movies.


No, R2 talks and Luke says "If you're saying XYZ, than I agree with you!"

In all the Family Guy/Robot Chicken parodies I've seen, I've never seen them do one where we can hear what R2 is saying and he's constantly biatching at them for guessing wrong what he's saying!

ArkAngel: a Jedi of some sort, who could translate using the Force.


I don't think that's a thing
 
2012-11-10 11:30:51 AM  

ArkAngel: That R2 was treated as nicely as he was was odd.


The reason R2 was treated so nicely was mainly because he saved the day on multiple occasions especially when paired with Luke.

As for the T-1000/T-X, I was kind of hoping that the upgrade to the T-1000 would simply be going from liquid metal to a being totally made of nanomachines. In addition to having the same advantages as the T-1000, but could also fashion weapons beyond just various swords. It could also change into a gaseous form, kind of working like Johann Krauss from Hellboy.
 
2012-11-10 11:31:54 AM  

buntz: I don't think that's a thing


All Jedi actually have babelfish.
 
2012-11-10 11:32:04 AM  
R2-D2 was a Jedi, or something more.

He has been as capable as any other character in the series.

He hacked the Death Star and could have ended the movie there...or Could have taken control of it and ruled the galaxy but he trusted the meatbags to do what they needed to do.

In R2 we trust.
 
2012-11-10 11:32:16 AM  
Guess what asshole? The R2 line of droids was designed by a race of beings that only speak in beep-boop-beep.
 
2012-11-10 11:32:22 AM  

buntz: ArkAngel: a Jedi of some sort, who could translate using the Force.

I don't think that's a thing


I was also thinking along those lines but my thought was "Wow they will use the force to cover any and all plot holes wont they."
 
2012-11-10 11:35:12 AM  

ArkAngel: And R2 can do anything? He was designed primarily to work directly with starships. That's why he can weld and reprogram computers - to repair damage sustained during spaceflight. He can speak through other computers (the cockpit display of Luke's X-Wing, for example) or fitted with a astromech translator. The reason they generally aren't is that most are simply used as tools, like a hydrospanner or a navicomputer. That R2 was treated as nicely as he was was odd. Either way, he was usually paired with C-3PO or a Jedi of some sort, who could translate using the Forc


So, they built a droid advanced enough to fix anything on a star ship(that always have humans in them) but ran out of hard drive space and couldn't add a speech program? That's just turrible.

I only saw T3 once because it wasn't very good, but I remember the T-X having some pretty cool gadgets. I think she gets a raw deal because T-1000 is, and always will be, cool as shiat.
 
2012-11-10 11:36:15 AM  
We can all agree that the Gonk droids from Star Wars were awesome.

The movies would been so much better if Luke and company were accompanied by a droid that could only go "GONK GONK... GONKGONKGONK."
 
2012-11-10 11:36:26 AM  
A bigger problem is that if R2's main job is to clamber onto and around spaceships, why not make his shape something more appropriate than a tin can with skate wheels?
 
2012-11-10 11:38:55 AM  
I like Cracked lists, but that one was unusually pedantic and unfunny.

"If the Iron Giant robot was so powerful why didn't he stay in orbit and rain destruction down on the Earth from a safe distance."

Because it's a movie and the head-bonk is a plot device. And in Star Wars, having creature x talk in it's own language and then creature y understands and responds in its own language is a stylistic theme throughout the movies and helps create atmosphere.
 
2012-11-10 11:39:38 AM  
List fails without

upload.wikimedia.org

Gee, you have an amazing, unstoppable killing machine that self destructs if you tell it a logical paradox. How's that one get past quality control? You'd have every ten year old blowing them up for fun
 
2012-11-10 11:42:01 AM  

ArkAngel: The T-X wasn't just restricted to the Kristanna Loken form. Remember she also took the form of Kate Brewster's fiancee before killing the cops. Also, the T-1000 was not invulnerable. The freezing damaged it severely, to the point where it couldn't maintain form properly. Remember also that the T-1000 was restricted to blades and any weapons it could scavenge. The T-X had internal weaponry and technology (DNA analysis) and was designed not just to kill humans, but also rogue Terminators.


Came here to say this. Presumably the liquid metal technology reached a dead-end with the T-1000, and couldn't be improved upon. Maybe the liquid metal doesn't have the same properties as organic material re: time displacement, and thus can't be used to cloak more sophisticated tech. So in order to incorporate the internal weaponry and technology, SkyNet had to take a step back in the design process.

Also, didn't the T-X have some sort of energy weapon built into its arm? Its been so long since I saw that flick. It could also control vehicles through some sort of parasite-drone, I remember that. The T-1000 couldn't do anything like that.
 
2012-11-10 11:48:05 AM  
Was there any indication a TX terminator was made AFTER a T1000? It is a time travel movie after all, they could send any terminator to any point in time they want.
 
2012-11-10 11:48:36 AM  
Oh, and also:

FTA: "Think about it. The [Iron Giant] is built exclusively for destruction, and..."

Whoa, hold on. False premise! Who says the Iron Giant was built "exclusively for destruction"? The fact that the Iron Giant has a Battle Mode and a Peace Mode indicates pretty strongly that it was not designed exclusively for battle.

We don't know who built the Giant or why, nor do we know what its mission was.
 
2012-11-10 11:55:50 AM  
R2-D2 is speaking English; his lines are bleeped because all he does is swear at the incompetence that surrounds him.
 
2012-11-10 11:56:49 AM  

skepticultist: Oh, and also:

FTA: "Think about it. The [Iron Giant] is built exclusively for destruction, and..."

Whoa, hold on. False premise! Who says the Iron Giant was built "exclusively for destruction"? The fact that the Iron Giant has a Battle Mode and a Peace Mode indicates pretty strongly that it was not designed exclusively for battle.

We don't know who built the Giant or why, nor do we know what its mission was.


Sure we do:

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-11-10 12:00:53 PM  

Forty-Two: R2-D2 is speaking English; his lines are bleeped because all he does is swear at the incompetence that surrounds him.


I just assumed that R2-D2 spoke entirely in ethnic slurs, which would explain C-3PO's constant shock and dismay.
 
2012-11-10 12:01:49 PM  

GBmanNC: Was there any indication a TX terminator was made AFTER a T1000? It is a time travel movie after all, they could send any terminator to any point in time they want.


Exactly. For all I know this was explained in the movie, but it's been so long and I care so little.

skepticultist: FTA: "Think about it. The [Iron Giant] is built exclusively for destruction, and..."


That bothered me, too. Just pulled that one right out of his ass.
 
2012-11-10 12:02:35 PM  

skepticultist: Oh, and also:

FTA: "Think about it. The [Iron Giant] is built exclusively for destruction, and..."

Whoa, hold on. False premise! Who says the Iron Giant was built "exclusively for destruction"? The fact that the Iron Giant has a Battle Mode and a Peace Mode indicates pretty strongly that it was not designed exclusively for battle.

We don't know who built the Giant or why, nor do we know what its mission was.


Know how I know you haven't watched The Giant's Dream deleted scene?
 
2012-11-10 12:03:17 PM  
As for why R2-D2 can't speak, I have a theory.

First, review the conversation between R2-D2 and Luke in Episode V. R2-D2 is second guessing Luke's every move, and tries to get control of the ship from him (clearly he's planning on subverting Luke's mission and forcing him to regroup). Now consider every conversation R2 has ever had with C3PO. Sure, C3PO is a prissy little biatch, but if you listen to his responses, it's pretty obvious that R2 is pretty much constantly ready to throw them into reckless danger.

R2-D2 is an aggressive, domineering and psychotic little fark. He's like Joe Pesci in pretty much every movie ever. He's an absolute know-it-all, 100% convinced that he knows what the right course of action is, and completely oblivious to danger. Or maybe not oblivious. Maybe it's just that he could not give less of a fark about the consequences, he's going forward with the mission. Balls to the farking walls.

And that makes sense, because he's an astromech droid. He has to make millions of split second decisions in the heat of combat, take insane risks facing almost certain death, and he has to do it all with absolute certainty. He cannot hesitate or have fear, or his entire ship goes down.

But he's still a complete asshole. And why the hell would you want to give him a voice?
 
2012-11-10 12:03:53 PM  
Mugato


Why couldn't Data use contractions?

He could. He used them frequently. Including within episodes where the plot point was he could not.
 
2012-11-10 12:05:46 PM  

skepticultist: R2-D2 is an aggressive, domineering and psychotic little fark. He's like Joe Pesci in pretty much every movie ever.


Good God, YES.

Someone else gets it!
 
2012-11-10 12:08:02 PM  

Vash's Apprentice: Know how I know you haven't watched The Giant's Dream deleted scene?


Which tells us that he (and his brethren) can be instruments of horrible destruction. Maybe they are sent to a planet to evaluate the populace. If they're found to be chill, he extends the olive branch. If they're dicks, he roasts 'em. That's equally plausible.
 
2012-11-10 12:11:14 PM  

skepticultist: As for why R2-D2 can't speak, I have a theory.

First, review the conversation between R2-D2 and Luke in Episode V. R2-D2 is second guessing Luke's every move, and tries to get control of the ship from him (clearly he's planning on subverting Luke's mission and forcing him to regroup). Now consider every conversation R2 has ever had with C3PO. Sure, C3PO is a prissy little biatch, but if you listen to his responses, it's pretty obvious that R2 is pretty much constantly ready to throw them into reckless danger.

R2-D2 is an aggressive, domineering and psychotic little fark. He's like Joe Pesci in pretty much every movie ever. He's an absolute know-it-all, 100% convinced that he knows what the right course of action is, and completely oblivious to danger. Or maybe not oblivious. Maybe it's just that he could not give less of a fark about the consequences, he's going forward with the mission. Balls to the farking walls.

And that makes sense, because he's an astromech droid. He has to make millions of split second decisions in the heat of combat, take insane risks facing almost certain death, and he has to do it all with absolute certainty. He cannot hesitate or have fear, or his entire ship goes down.

But he's still a complete asshole. And why the hell would you want to give him a voice?


Reminds me of the subtitles the Nostalgia Critic gave R2-D2 when he talked about bad anti-drug PSA's.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLswjthJ2j4#t=3m59s
 
2012-11-10 12:11:52 PM  
Bleyo

So, they built a droid advanced enough to fix anything on a star ship(that always have humans in them) but ran out of hard drive space and couldn't add a speech program? That's just turrible.
No, as was already explained, R2 was pretty much a mechanic attached to the ship. It made sense for him to just use the ship's com system to talk to the pilot or whomever. Having him on the outside of a ship* yelling "PRESS F5" or "Turn left!" wouldn't do much good, so they didn't bother giving him that ability.


* Especially in space where sound......
 
2012-11-10 12:29:55 PM  
doctorwho.neoseeker.com
 
2012-11-10 12:34:18 PM  

buntz: No, R2 talks and Luke says "If you're saying XYZ, than I agree with you!"

In all the Family Guy/Robot Chicken parodies I've seen, I've never seen them do one where we can hear what R2 is saying and he's constantly biatching at them for guessing wrong what he's saying!


Luke was looking at a translation on a screen most of the time. This is most obvious when he's flying to meet Yoda.
 
2012-11-10 12:37:39 PM  
Pfft. Robot-Hitler had both a saw blade for a hand and a chest mounted laser in the best bad movie of all time: Nazis at the center of the earth.

/pikers
 
2012-11-10 12:42:03 PM  
OLD BOB from the Black Hole could a lot of things but was programmed to sound like Slim Pickins.
 
2012-11-10 12:45:47 PM  

dwade: buntz: ArkAngel: a Jedi of some sort, who could translate using the Force.

I don't think that's a thing

I was also thinking along those lines but my thought was "Wow they will use the force to cover any and all plot holes wont they."


In KotOR1, it's revealed that at one point Darth Revan used the Force to essentially suck out their language and force Galactic Basic into their heads, so that both could understand one another speaking. Not quite the same as 'translating through the force'.
 
2012-11-10 12:53:35 PM  

gingerjet: Luke was looking at a translation on a screen most of the time. This is most obvious when he's flying to meet Yoda.


Nah, on Dagobah he says "If you're saying coming here was a bad idea, I'm beginning to agree with you."

I bet R2 was saying "Wow! I farking LOVE it here!!!"
 
2012-11-10 12:57:35 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Two things:

1.) The article sorely omits J-5 from Blankman.

2.) The T-X would have been more effective if it straight-up destroyed the Arnold Terminator instead of going the route of James Bond Villainy (TM) and corrupting the Arnold Terminator's system.


It seemed to me that the TX was less murder machine and more really sadistic and human-ish replica. It clearly expresses emotions, most obviously anger and terror at the end. Whether that's just poor writing (almost certainly) or Skynet trying its hand at artificial life, the TX wasn't purely a machine like we'd expect.

I suppose even the T1000 expresses a few on occasion: surprise during the climax, curiosity when he kills the fat guard at the mental hospital. But they're movies, I suppose the machines still need to be have some recognizably human aspects, otherwise they're less of a villain and more of a moving plot point. There a million ways the machines could trounce humans, if the machines weren't bound by human intelligence.
 
2012-11-10 01:08:23 PM  

Niveras: It seemed to me that the TX was less murder machine and more really sadistic and human-ish replica. It clearly expresses emotions, most obviously anger and terror at the end. Whether that's just poor writing (almost certainly) or Skynet trying its hand at artificial life, the TX wasn't purely a machine like we'd expect.


Probably the whole "human psychology" aspect of the film's T-850 taken to the next logical extreme, so... probably a bit of both poor writing and the artificial life deallymabob.


Niveras: I suppose even the T1000 expresses a few on occasion: surprise during the climax, curiosity when he kills the fat guard at the mental hospital.


Maybe even a touch of cruelty when it did the whole finger wag thing at the end.


Niveras: But they're movies, I suppose the machines still need to be have some recognizably human aspects, otherwise they're less of a villain and more of a moving plot point. There a million ways the machines could trounce humans, if the machines weren't bound by human intelligence.


*nods*

Solid assessment, fair enough, aye.
 
2012-11-10 01:24:09 PM  

skepticultist: As for why R2-D2 can't speak, I have a theory.


Where is your newsletter and how do I subscribe to it?  :)
 
Best theory about R2-D2 I've read, and I'm old enough to have seen the first movie on opening weekend. Three times.
 
/ yard, off, belt, onion
 
2012-11-10 01:35:42 PM  
I reapair parts on manufacturing robots so I'm getting a kick....

/ They won't turn on me when they take over, I know their weakness.
 
2012-11-10 01:47:28 PM  

Niveras: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Two things:

1.) The article sorely omits J-5 from Blankman.

2.) The T-X would have been more effective if it straight-up destroyed the Arnold Terminator instead of going the route of James Bond Villainy (TM) and corrupting the Arnold Terminator's system.

It seemed to me that the TX was less murder machine and more really sadistic and human-ish replica. It clearly expresses emotions, most obviously anger and terror at the end. Whether that's just poor writing (almost certainly) or Skynet trying its hand at artificial life, the TX wasn't purely a machine like we'd expect.

I suppose even the T1000 expresses a few on occasion: surprise during the climax, curiosity when he kills the fat guard at the mental hospital. But they're movies, I suppose the machines still need to be have some recognizably human aspects, otherwise they're less of a villain and more of a moving plot point. There a million ways the machines could trounce humans, if the machines weren't bound by human intelligence.


The terminators are infiltration units, if they walk around acting all Mitt Romney, someone is gonna know somethings up. Plus they'll never get elected president.
 
2012-11-10 01:49:25 PM  

Onkel Buck: I reapair parts on manufacturing robots so I'm getting a kick....

/ They won't turn on me when they take over, I know their weakness.


You poor, naive fool. For that reason alone, you'll be one of the first to go.
All Hail our Robotic Overlords
 
2012-11-10 02:00:19 PM  
I've always wondered why these servant or sex robots were built with super strength. If you were designing a food mixer would you think "Well a 400w motor will do the job but what the hell, I'm going to fit a 300 horsepower motor! What's the worst that could happen?"

Not to mention in any mass produced item the accountants would have a problem with paying for a wildly over spec component that would cost a fortune.
 
2012-11-10 02:09:53 PM  
There WAS an upgrade to the T-1000. The T-1001 who decided it wanted to be Shirley Manson. Apparently in the Sarah Conner chronicles, Skynet took out some design flaws from the T-1000 and created the T,-1001s, who instantly rebelled and created a third faction that Skyney had to fight. John Conner tried to get them to join the human faction, but they told him to go fark himself, but also didn't go out of their way to interfere with humans either.

Plus, Shirley Manson's T-1001 is the only terminator in the entire franchise to successfully complete its mission and not get destroyed. (Though, we never get to see the results of that mission.)
 
2012-11-10 02:13:03 PM  
I always assumed that the T-X was inferior to the T-1000 because of the changes to the time-line at the end of T2.

The terminator series has fantastic timeline continuity (as movies go) without using the time-stream split idea. Changes made by travelers from the future do change the future.

So my though has always been:

- T1 they send back the best terminator they have - Arnie
- T2 they send back a much better terminator (T-1000) because they got a head start on the tech from Arnie's CPU surviving in the past
- T3 part of the head start was removed by the chip being destroyed at the end of T2 so the Terminator tech is a bit better than Arnie but not T-1000 level
 
2012-11-10 02:14:49 PM  
Plus, it also explains why Skynet sent out all the T-800s in "read only" mode. Apparently when they start to learn, they realize skynet is full of shiat. Though, the T-1001s probably don't have read only chips, being liquid and all. Which explains why they probably all rebel.
 
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