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(Crooks & Liars)   Deep thoughts, with CNN: "Why not name Romney as Secretary of Business"   (videocafe.crooksandliars.com) divider line 98
    More: Silly, CNN, Alex Castellanos, obama, David Gergen, g. w. bush, Ape-Man, Wolf Blitzer, Small Business Administration  
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1082 clicks; posted to Politics » on 09 Nov 2012 at 1:40 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



98 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-11-09 09:24:07 AM
Because he doesn't know a damn thing about it.
 
2012-11-09 09:29:26 AM
Setting aside that Mitt knows nothing about business, everybody farking hates him.
 
2012-11-09 09:32:58 AM
This is maybe the dumbest freakin' thing I've heard all week.
 
2012-11-09 09:41:36 AM
Secretary of Business sent overseas to China.
 
2012-11-09 09:47:05 AM
how many other western nations even have an equivalent position? what the hell will this secretary do? give bjs to GE behind the shed to keep jobs here?
 
2012-11-09 10:13:42 AM

zedster: how many other western nations even have an equivalent position? what the hell will this secretary do? give bjs to GE behind the shed to keep jobs here?


Which is now the responsibility of the Secretary of Treasury.
 
2012-11-09 10:37:04 AM

James!: zedster: how many other western nations even have an equivalent position? what the hell will this secretary do? give bjs to GE behind the shed to keep jobs here?

Which is now the responsibility of the Secretary of Treasury.


Oh Timmy will do much more for much less
 
2012-11-09 10:47:27 AM
Sh*t Wolf, get it together.

11.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-11-09 11:23:15 AM
I haven't heard anything this stupid out of Wolf Blitzer since he did a half hour piece on how to mis-pronounce Qatar.
 
2012-11-09 11:34:40 AM
Sure. While he's at it, let's appoint Todd Akin to be the Secretary of Rape.
 
2012-11-09 11:44:52 AM
i194.photobucket.com

Dear President Romney,

I hear you are in the market for a new Secretary of Potato. Enclosed is my resume and a scoop of ice cream.

Love,
Torg
 
2012-11-09 12:07:12 PM

sweetmelissa31: [i194.photobucket.com image 220x153]

Dear President Romney,

I hear you are in the market for a new Secretary of Potato. Enclosed is my resume and a scoop of ice cream.

Love,
Torg


you are awesome. you know that, right?
 
2012-11-09 12:10:10 PM
Because a guy who ignored the polling data he was provided and never tested his mission-critical web app sound like a brilliant businessman.
 
2012-11-09 12:19:30 PM

ManateeGag: you are awesome. you know that, right?


Hugs!
 
2012-11-09 12:30:53 PM

ManateeGag: you are awesome. you know that, right?


Sorry, I'm not sharing
 
2012-11-09 01:39:51 PM

Jackson Herring: ManateeGag: you are awesome. you know that, right?

Sorry, I'm not sharing


Sorry socialist, we're redistributing her.
 
2012-11-09 01:42:28 PM
You mean besides the fact he's a pathological liar, appears to only care about himself, has virtually no experience running a typical business and the last time he ran any business it cost a lot of good workers their jobs so that he could profit off Chinese near-slave wages?

Besides all that?
 
2012-11-09 01:43:35 PM

propasaurus: Jackson Herring: ManateeGag: you are awesome. you know that, right?

Sorry, I'm not sharing

Sorry socialist, we're redistributing her.


Hoisted by my own petard!
 
2012-11-09 01:43:50 PM
www.gamereplays.org
 
2012-11-09 01:44:14 PM
So then Obama can call him an SOB.

/Not mine. Heard it on Politics Powered by Twitter on XM last night.
 
2012-11-09 01:44:14 PM
Yeah, how 'bout no.
 
2012-11-09 01:44:38 PM
Secretary of Money Hidery
 
2012-11-09 01:45:56 PM
Like John McCain is Secretary of Yelling at Clouds and Sarah Palin is Secretary of Tacos.
 
2012-11-09 01:46:18 PM

oldernell: Because he doesn't know a damn thing about it.


Done in one.
 
2012-11-09 01:46:29 PM
MSNBC just pitched it too.

They're serious, aren't they? These are the same people that just got done getting punked by Nate Silver and now they're going to try seriously pitching taking the Presidential opponent as a member of the administration? How drunk do you have to be before that sounds like a good idea?
 
2012-11-09 01:47:54 PM
We could unleash him on our enemies! He could take over and then gut the treasures of other countries and capture their assets for our own use! They would be left bankrupt and filled with the unemployed and foreign workers.
 
2012-11-09 01:47:58 PM
Because I'm sick of the man and after having to spend a year haring about his imagined good qualities from conservatives here, the prospect of 4 years of the same points rehashed by liberals fills me with dread.

/yes national policy should be decided by how it affects my internet.
 
2012-11-09 01:48:04 PM

Marcus Aurelius: I haven't heard anything this stupid out of Wolf Blitzer since he did a half hour piece on how to mis-pronounce Qatar.


Look - a lot more people in the focus group were stutterers than you would normally find in the population, and when we polled the group on how to pronounce Qatar we came up with mixed results.
 
2012-11-09 01:48:13 PM
Seems like a poor appointment. Now, if there's an opening for Secretary of Bullshiat, or Secretary of Having Your Head Jammed Way Up Your Ass, those seem more like fits for Romney.
 
2012-11-09 01:48:14 PM
Other suggestions:

Newt Gingrich: head of the EPA
Todd Akin: Secy. of HHS
Rush Limbaugh: Secy. of Lardassery
 
2012-11-09 01:49:50 PM
Same reason we didn't make him president....
 
2012-11-09 01:49:58 PM
Rafalca: Ambassador to the USSR
 
2012-11-09 01:50:08 PM

Gosling: MSNBC just pitched it too.

They're serious, aren't they? These are the same people that just got done getting punked by Nate Silver and now they're going to try seriously pitching taking the Presidential opponent as a member of the administration? How drunk do you have to be before that sounds like a good idea?


It would be a good way to goad teabaggers in to mass suicide, if nothing else.
 
2012-11-09 01:50:14 PM
but that would still leave Secretary of Rape open. Any suggestions?
 
2012-11-09 01:50:56 PM
First lets see ALL his tax returns.
 
2012-11-09 01:51:05 PM
Uh, probably because you were a lying bastard in the campaign and now Obama hates your guts.
 
2012-11-09 01:51:07 PM
Seriously, I love this whole line of thinking by the networks.

'Obama just had his agenda indisputably vindicated and his opponents, who have lost not-by-a-landslide-but-still-sweepingly nationwide, are starting down the road to electoral irrelevancy if they don't change their ways and change them quickly. The question now is, how much of that does Obama need to flush down the toilet right away?'
 
2012-11-09 01:51:19 PM
If we're talking about purely potato appointments, I'd like to nominate Michelle Bachmann for Secretary of Agriculture.

When she was campaigning, she went to a meat packing plant and said the meat industry had "too much regulation".

Because that's just what my ground beef needs - more severed illegal immigrant body parts.
 
2012-11-09 01:51:24 PM

sweetmelissa31: [i194.photobucket.com image 220x153]

Dear President Romney,

I hear you are in the market for a new Secretary of Potato. Enclosed is my resume and a scoop of ice cream.

Love,
Torg


lol! It was the scoop of ice cream that put it over the top for me.
 
2012-11-09 01:51:36 PM
Ambassador to Kolob.
 
2012-11-09 01:51:45 PM
A consolation prize? Why not make him ambassador to Libya? He seemed obsessed with that place
 
2012-11-09 01:52:03 PM
Please phrase that in the form of a sensible question.
 
2012-11-09 01:52:14 PM

RexTalionis: Secretary of Business sent overseas to China.


To secure our debt. We don't pay, they can put him to work in a karaoke house with all the other whores.
 
2012-11-09 01:52:44 PM
Nice to see everyone's still buying into the "Republicans are automatically great for business" line. Didn't we just take a vote on that?
 
2012-11-09 01:52:48 PM
Only if he wears this
 
2012-11-09 01:53:23 PM
I really hate the "add comment" button now.
 
2012-11-09 01:53:27 PM
He could be the new ambassador to Great Britain.
 
2012-11-09 01:53:37 PM
Not sure about that appointment but with Ann's experience with horses, Obama want to consider her for the Director of FEMA.
 
2012-11-09 01:54:12 PM
Just curious, do you think Romney called his accountant to amend his tax return before midnight on Tuesday, or did he wait until Wednesday morning?
 
2012-11-09 01:54:32 PM
What a terrible idea. While I admire the impulse to be magnanimous in victory, vulture capitalists are only good at growing businesses until they are fat enough to be dismembered or packed off and sent to China.
 
2012-11-09 01:56:02 PM

mrshowrules: Not sure about that appointment but with Ann's experience with horses, Obama want to consider her for the Director of FEMA.


I LOL'd

/Good job, Brownie
 
2012-11-09 01:56:16 PM

sweetmelissa31: Sh*t Wolf


a shiat wolf you say?
www.straight.com
 
2012-11-09 01:56:29 PM

sweetmelissa31: Rafalca: Ambassador to the USSR


Just like a lib to think that diplomacy will deter the Soviet threat
 
2012-11-09 01:57:34 PM
Wouldn't Republicans be against appointing another Czar?
 
2012-11-09 01:57:44 PM
As long as the legs of his chair at the table where everyone sits is sawed down 10 inches. And he has absolutely no power whatsoever and does it for zero pay, then I'd be just fine with it.
 
2012-11-09 01:58:25 PM
We could bundle Romney off as the ambassador to some out of the way place like Bolivia or Cameroon, but he'd be able to just buy the country outright and then start setting up his Mormon army to take back the presidency that is rightfully his, by prophecy.
 
2012-11-09 01:59:04 PM

Jacobin: A consolation prize? Why not make him ambassador to Libya? He seemed obsessed with that place


And there is an opening in Benghazi!

/too soon?
 
2012-11-09 01:59:32 PM
A vulture capitalist as the 'Secretary of Business'? No.

Give me the guy who finally realized Dorito Tacos was something worth putting out for the world to enjoy.
 
2012-11-09 01:59:48 PM
Let's put it this way. The next time Obama is thinking about grand compromises with the GOP as currently constructed, he should consult the following flowchart:

nyulocal.com
 
2012-11-09 02:00:00 PM
www.allamericanblogger.com

//SOB Romney, Day One
 
2012-11-09 02:00:11 PM
Really, maybe just a "Participant" ribbon would be all for the best.
 
2012-11-09 02:00:58 PM
Make him ambassador to the Soviet Union. As soon as he can find the place he called America's biggest threat he gets the job.
 
2012-11-09 02:01:14 PM

Headso: sweetmelissa31: Sh*t Wolf

a shiat wolf you say?
[www.straight.com image 400x300]


Dammit beat me to it!

/Good job.
 
2012-11-09 02:02:33 PM
Why not name him 'Secretary of Raping Small Companies and Shipping Their Jobs Overseas'?
 
2012-11-09 02:02:48 PM
We have a Secretary of Commerce. We have a Secretary of Labor. They're both cabinet-level.

Why, exactly, do we need a business secretary? Is this someone whose job it is to tell our bootstrappy galtian overlords that we love them very much? Mitt Romney would, admittedly, be good at that.
 
2012-11-09 02:08:55 PM
Dear Mr. Rmoney,

theawesomer.com

You lose.

/good day sir
 
2012-11-09 02:12:33 PM
Because he's really, really bad at business. The only thing he did that made any money was to siphon off cash by liquidating resources while the company sunk (or while he sunk the company).

That's... a really shiatty management style that fails terribly if you're trying to do anything long-term.
 
2012-11-09 02:16:26 PM

Cinaed: A vulture capitalist as the 'Secretary of Business'? No.

Give me the guy who finally realized Dorito Tacos was something worth putting out for the world to enjoy.


You know what? You're absolutely correct. Unlike Romney, that genius figured out what was missing from the market, and filled a niche.

The Doritos Taco guy understands the marketplace, his customers, and current trends. The dude has that product selling right before Washington and Colorado voted? Yeah, there's someone who knows how to make money.
 
2012-11-09 02:16:50 PM

oldernell: Because he doesn't know a damn thing about it.


Wrong, he knows how to make himself very wealthy. Often at the expense of the businesses and employees involved.
 
2012-11-09 02:16:51 PM

oldernell: Because he doesn't know a damn thing about it.


Done in one.
 
2012-11-09 02:18:14 PM
I just borrowed this from The Superficial, who borrowed it from someone else. So here: Mitt the consummate businessman, at work.

Mitt Romney pulled such an incredibly impressive dick move Tuesday night, that I couldn't live with myself if we didn't take a moment to bask in its dickishness. I'm genuinely not even trying to make fun of the guy, that's how awestruck I am by the epic lack of fark he managed to give. It's practically biblical. Via NBC News thanks to Todd who I feel like I owe a firstborn to for this:

From the moment Mitt Romney stepped off stage Tuesday night, having just delivered a brief concession speech he wrote only that evening, the massive infrastructure surrounding his campaign quickly began to disassemble itself.
Aides taking cabs home late that night got rude awakenings when they found the credit cards linked to the campaign no longer worked.
"Fiscally conservative," sighed one aide the next day.
 
2012-11-09 02:20:07 PM
Because he's a horrible business man.
 
2012-11-09 02:20:57 PM

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Because he's a horrible business man.


FTFY
 
2012-11-09 02:22:08 PM
Monkeys will fly out of butts before this happens....keep farking that big bird, lamestream media.
 
2012-11-09 02:23:43 PM

HotWingConspiracy: Secretary of Money Hidery


Heh
 
2012-11-09 02:28:13 PM

sweetmelissa31: Sh*t Wolf, get it together.

[11.media.tumblr.com image 500x281]


Was it him? I didn't click, but I'm willing to bet $10,000 a turd of that magnitude could only come from Wolf Blitzer. I can see him asking it in that concerned voice of his, the kind he uses to sound like a big boy news reporter when he's in fact asking questions that would embarrass a 3rd grader.
 
Bf+
2012-11-09 02:29:08 PM
www.the-frat-pack.com
 
2012-11-09 02:34:31 PM

Kibbler: Other suggestions:

Newt Gingrich: head of the EPA
Todd Akin: Secy. of HHS
Rush Limbaugh: Secy. of Lardassery


Well, he is very concerned with global warming.

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
...or was, until he divorced it for a younger, derpier cause
 
2012-11-09 02:57:05 PM
How about naming Romney the Secretary of Outsourcing. Give him a job he actually knows something about.
 
2012-11-09 03:04:57 PM
Here is a suggestion. DON'T GROW THE BUREAUCRACY! We do NOT need yet another cabinet level position. Secretary of Commerce already exists. What is commerce, but business. THIS idea of a new secretary position is the dumbest thing I've heard out of the Obama campaign.

Fiscal responsibility starts with efficiency in government.
 
2012-11-09 03:09:19 PM
Yeah, let's get the guy who thinks that shutting down energy exports for use here at home is compatible with expanding free trade agreements and that the economy will see short term job increases amidst a trade war with China have a say on business matters for the benefit of the US economy.


And the guy who rescued the Olympics with his business acumen by having the feds hand him a billion dollars. Forgot that point.

How about we just contract him out as an economic consultant to foreign countries instead in order to increase our competitiveness. Though that might violate the Geneva Convention or something.
 
2012-11-09 03:12:52 PM
Because fark Mitt Romney and the political horse he rode in on.

Next question?
 
2012-11-09 03:30:39 PM

Pappas: Because fark Mitt Romney and the political horse he rode danced in on.

Next question?


fixed
 
2012-11-09 03:49:19 PM
If there's going to be a freaking Secretary of Business, go with Buffet. He knows how to improve businesses rather than sucking them dry.
 
2012-11-09 04:20:00 PM
A more trollerific (and less "omfg you can't be serious") move would be for Obama to name Jon Huntsman as Secretary of State.
 
2012-11-09 04:33:43 PM
There is already a Commerce Secretary, and the Republicanism want to abolish it.
 
2012-11-09 05:34:03 PM
Secretary of Robots
 
2012-11-09 05:36:30 PM
What "business" are you talking about?
 
2012-11-09 05:43:09 PM
Gyrfalcon: What "business" are you talking about?

you know, the stuff dogs do
 
2012-11-09 06:15:00 PM
If he's any good, the Chamber of Commerce will make him an offer.
 
2012-11-09 06:34:24 PM
Do it. And as part of the vetting process, ask him for 20 years of tax returns.
 
2012-11-09 06:37:11 PM
I thought we already had a department of commerce. Or would that be more of a department of labor thing? Or would we surgically meld the two like some twisted human centipede. That sounds like something Romney would do.
 
2012-11-09 07:10:28 PM

Dr.Zom: Palin


I'd make Palin ambassador to Youbetchastan.
 
2012-11-09 08:28:04 PM
I originally thought Obama should throw him a bone to show no hard feelings and that he can build a bridge. But since "real" Republicans are now repudiating him, and the only foreign leader who has any respect for him at all is Bibi, I don't know what he post he could offer Romney better than Official White House Tea Boy.
 
2012-11-09 10:24:32 PM
The feck would we need a Sec Business when we already have a Sec Commerce?
 
2012-11-10 01:45:23 AM

Pappas: Because fark Mitt Romney and the political horse he rode in on.


Did it come with bayonets?
 
2012-11-10 01:46:19 AM

Dwight_Yeast: The feck would we need a Sec Business when we already have a Sec Commerce?


It's not a real thing. Obama floated a suggestion that he might consolidate some departments, reduce red tape. He said, maybe the head of these melded departments could be a sort of 'Secretary of Business.' Right wingers ran wit "OMG! Another Czar!" Paul Ryan went with 'I guess he doesn't know we already have a Secretary of Commerce.'

Ta. Da.
 
2012-11-10 06:35:15 AM

Cinaed: A vulture capitalist as the 'Secretary of Business'? No.

Give me the guy who finally realized Dorito Tacos was something worth putting out for the world to enjoy.


Eh, no. Those things go soggy instantly, and turn your fingers orange.
 
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