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(Shields Gazette)   Protip: If you're planning a crime because you saw it on CSI, do bear in mind that they didn't get away with it on TV either   (shieldsgazette.com) divider line 36
    More: Dumbass, CSI  
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7221 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Nov 2012 at 3:14 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-08 12:51:23 PM  
Of course they don't get away with it on CSI. The show's very premise is ensuring that they don't get away with it. When writing fiction, it comes out the exact way you write it, regardless of what would actually happen in that situation.
 
2012-11-08 03:22:19 PM  
Enhance. Enhance. Enhance!
 
2012-11-08 03:23:05 PM  
Actually if you could commit the crime in the exact same way as the show there is a good chance you'd get away with it in real life being that most of their evidence collection tools and techniques either don't exist or aren't legal.
 
2012-11-08 03:23:53 PM  
Something something
*sunglasses*
yeeeeaaaah
 
2012-11-08 03:28:51 PM  
41? What is she, British?
 
2012-11-08 03:34:23 PM  
"Don't get away with it" is something of an understatement. They're usually caught in under an hour.
 
2012-11-08 03:34:44 PM  
DoBeDoBeDo: Actually if you could commit the crime in the exact same way as the show there is a good chance you'd get away with it in real life being that most of their evidence collection tools and techniques either don't exist or aren't legal.

Yeah, but in both of the episodes I've seen the murder wouldn't have worked as depicted, either.
 
2012-11-08 03:39:13 PM  
She should have said they wrote anti-gay slurs over the walls and carved them into her skin before they left.
 
2012-11-08 03:41:44 PM  

Dog Welder: "Don't get away with it" is something of an understatement. They're usually caught in under an hour.


CSI has nothing on shows like NCIS, Without A Trace, and various others with a more national scope, though. They manage to criss-cross half the country a dozen times during an episode and still solve most crimes before the final commercial break.

"We have only 12 hours before the kidnap victim will run out of air! We need to figure out where he's being held!"
"I received a tip that the kidnapper once lived somewhere in rural Virginia. I'm going to head down there to see if I can find some clues."
"Okay, after talking to all the farmers in the state, I located one of his old neighbours. Apparently he has relatives in Florida. I'm on my way."

Meanwhile... the countdown clock at the bottom of the screen has dropped from 12 hours to 8 hours and 45 minutes.
 
2012-11-08 03:53:51 PM  
I got an old classmate who gets reular gigs on CSI. She got gigs on Seinfeld, too. She graduated wtih me in '75 and looks great on TV. I'm going to have to ask her about her CSI experiences.
Usually I see a crime and guestimate how long it will take to make it to CSI. I have a mental gauge on "too soon" and "too late" and how long ti takes to rewite it and twist it. I'm close, usually.
 
2012-11-08 03:54:42 PM  
Why didn't she just use the bag of coke to bribe a homeless guy into performing the robbery?
 
2012-11-08 04:05:38 PM  

Perducci: Dog Welder: "Don't get away with it" is something of an understatement. They're usually caught in under an hour.

CSI has nothing on shows like NCIS, Without A Trace, and various others with a more national scope, though. They manage to criss-cross half the country a dozen times during an episode and still solve most crimes before the final commercial break.

"We have only 12 hours before the kidnap victim will run out of air! We need to figure out where he's being held!"
"I received a tip that the kidnapper once lived somewhere in rural Virginia. I'm going to head down there to see if I can find some clues."
"Okay, after talking to all the farmers in the state, I located one of his old neighbours. Apparently he has relatives in Florida. I'm on my way."

Meanwhile... the countdown clock at the bottom of the screen has dropped from 12 hours to 8 hours and 45 minutes.


There was an episode of CSI Miami where Horatio has to go to Brazil and then fight his way out due to the gangs wanting him dead. He manages to survive and make it back to Miami all in one day.
 
2012-11-08 04:15:47 PM  

texdent: There was an episode of CSI Miami where Horatio has to go to Brazil and then fight his way out due to the gangs wanting him dead. He manages to survive and make it back to Miami all in one day


How does a pale, skinney, ginger, gringo get the hot latina, anyway?
 
2012-11-08 04:17:17 PM  
Well, in fairness, they didn't get away with it on CSI because that particular species of flower only grows in one place, and it happens to be right across town in an industrial park. I'll go check it out.
 
2012-11-08 04:27:20 PM  
I know this all too well. I committed a crime once and was caught because they made a GUI interface using visual basic to track my IP address. I was doomed from the start.
 
2012-11-08 04:33:35 PM  

umad: I know this all too well. I committed a crime once and was caught because they made a GUI interface using visual basic to track my IP address. I was doomed from the start.


That sounds familiar.

/Well done.
 
2012-11-08 04:42:50 PM  

umad: I know this all too well. I committed a crime once and was caught because they made a GUI interface using visual basic to track my IP address. I was doomed from the start.


I saw that one. I rewound my Tivo like six times because I couldn't farking believe they actually said that. Epic.
 
2012-11-08 04:51:43 PM  
Why even involve the cocaine....it just seems unnecessary.
 
2012-11-08 04:57:24 PM  

texdent: Perducci: Dog Welder: "Don't get away with it" is something of an understatement. They're usually caught in under an hour.

CSI has nothing on shows like NCIS, Without A Trace, and various others with a more national scope, though. They manage to criss-cross half the country a dozen times during an episode and still solve most crimes before the final commercial break.

"We have only 12 hours before the kidnap victim will run out of air! We need to figure out where he's being held!"
"I received a tip that the kidnapper once lived somewhere in rural Virginia. I'm going to head down there to see if I can find some clues."
"Okay, after talking to all the farmers in the state, I located one of his old neighbours. Apparently he has relatives in Florida. I'm on my way."

Meanwhile... the countdown clock at the bottom of the screen has dropped from 12 hours to 8 hours and 45 minutes.

There was an episode of CSI Miami where Horatio has to go to Brazil and then fight his way out due to the gangs wanting him dead. He manages to survive and make it back to Miami all in one day.


I also love how on NCIS they can drive from DC to Norfolk in about 10 minutes.
 
2012-11-08 05:16:16 PM  

Jument: umad: I know this all too well. I committed a crime once and was caught because they made a GUI interface using visual basic to track my IP address. I was doomed from the start.

I saw that one. I rewound my Tivo like six times because I couldn't farking believe they actually said that. Epic.


Automatic ATM Machine?
 
2012-11-08 05:19:39 PM  
L oh fkin L
Some people man
 
2012-11-08 05:20:42 PM  
Protip: If you're planning a crime because you saw it on Scooby-Doo, do bear in mind that they got stopped by those meddling kids and their dog.
 
2012-11-08 05:23:11 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Protip: If you're planning a crime because you saw it on Scooby-Doo, do bear in mind that they got stopped by those meddling kids and their dog.


cdn2-b.examiner.com

And her.
 
2012-11-08 05:24:02 PM  
To be fair, they usually don't get away with it on CSI because in that setting, sorcery is real and solely the province of law enforcement. The show has nothing to do with actual forensics or even science, it's basically "Merlin" with technobabble instead of fake Latin.
 
2012-11-08 05:49:35 PM  

umad: I know this all too well. I committed a crime once and was caught because they made a GUI interface using visual basic to track my IP address. I was doomed from the start.


Damn you. I was going to use that line.

/Nicely done.
 
2012-11-08 05:54:09 PM  

blatz514: cdn2-b.examiner.com

And her.


And/or the Harlem Globetrotters.
 
2012-11-08 06:50:22 PM  

umad: I know this all too well. I committed a crime once and was caught because they made a GUI interface using visual basic to track my IP address. I was doomed from the start.


I wonder if they used this
 
2012-11-08 08:05:47 PM  
I also love how on NCIS they can drive from DC to Norfolk in about 10 minutes.

This. I assumed it was a suburb of DC until I actually looked at a map. That looks like a 2 or 3 hour drive.
 
2012-11-08 10:32:22 PM  

slauer: I also love how on NCIS they can drive from DC to Norfolk in about 10 minutes.

This. I assumed it was a suburb of DC until I actually looked at a map. That looks like a 2 or 3 hour drive.


It's closer to 4 hours... but, even if it were just a 10 minute drive, DC traffic would turn it into a 2-3 hour drive for most of the day.
 
2012-11-08 10:35:19 PM  

DoBeDoBeDo: Actually if you could commit the crime in the exact same way as the show there is a good chance you'd get away with it in real life being that most of their evidence collection tools and techniques either don't exist or aren't legal.


You should probably use a few episodes of Columbo for pointers on how to get away with murder since the case wouldn't be solved unless the dump clumsy cop gets under your rich, educated skin and causes you to confess. I bet 90% of his charges wouldn't stick in court.

Best solution: reverse the safety settings on a guillotine in a locked room, or have an atheletic woman with dementia to commit the crime
 
2012-11-08 10:37:45 PM  
Also, i like to chat up strangers in trains. You never know what they'll agree to.
 
2012-11-08 10:53:39 PM  

cyks: slauer: I also love how on NCIS they can drive from DC to Norfolk in about 10 minutes.

This. I assumed it was a suburb of DC until I actually looked at a map. That looks like a 2 or 3 hour drive.

It's closer to 4 hours... but, even if it were just a 10 minute drive, DC traffic would turn it into a 2-3 hour drive for most of the day.


How does pacing work?
 
2012-11-08 11:48:06 PM  

Jument: Enhance. Enhance. Enhance!


This. In every spook show/movie.

"can you shift the camera angle slightly so that we can get a better look at the suspect?"
"let me try.....There you go!"
"Excellent work. Let's go get him guys!"


Uh. No.
 
2012-11-09 12:09:09 AM  
Every once in a while on CSI they used to have a case that they actually didn't solve, or where they had a suspect but couldn't prove it. It was refreshing. It feels like it's been a while since they've done that.
 
2012-11-09 09:05:26 AM  

Jument: Enhance. Enhance. Enhance!


i love how the CSI people can take anyone's security camera, no matter how old or poor quality and turn it into this 1000 megapixel camera.
 
2012-11-09 11:25:00 AM  

SlothB77: Jument: Enhance. Enhance. Enhance!

i love how the CSI people can take anyone's security camera, no matter how old or poor quality and turn it into this 1000 megapixel camera.


Pfft. Amateurs.

This is how it's done.
 
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