Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(News.com.au)   Angry ferret terrorises elderly woman, with helpful picture of what an angry ferret might look like   (news.com.au ) divider line
    More: Amusing, tetanus, Nottinghamshire  
•       •       •

8266 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Nov 2012 at 9:32 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



83 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-11-08 09:34:25 AM  
resources2.news.com.au

BRING IT.
 
2012-11-08 09:35:27 AM  
img.photobucket.com

"Be good, angry ferret, be good!"
 
2012-11-08 09:36:18 AM  
I don't think i have ever heard the words angry and ferret used together like that.
 
2012-11-08 09:36:53 AM  
sleevage.com
 
2012-11-08 09:36:59 AM  
I read that as 'angry ferret tortises' and was a bit confused.
 
2012-11-08 09:38:07 AM  
img208.imageshack.us

Wanted for questioning.
 
2012-11-08 09:38:48 AM  
Richard Gere unavailable for comment....
 
2012-11-08 09:38:55 AM  
Said with a bad 'down under' accent:

That't not a angry ferret...

i.chzbgr.com

THAT is a angry ferret.
 
2012-11-08 09:39:01 AM  
I have one word for you all.

Pootled.

That is all.
 
2012-11-08 09:39:19 AM  
www.scene-stealers.com

Nice marmot.
 
2012-11-08 09:40:47 AM  

Kinek: I have one word for you all.

Pootled.

That is all.


I assume that's a mashup of farting and waddling.
 
2012-11-08 09:41:00 AM  
The last time I pootled while on my way home I had to change my shorts.
 
2012-11-08 09:42:15 AM  
And they said California was crazy for making ferrets illegal.
 
2012-11-08 09:42:21 AM  
This is why some places *cough california cough* outlaw the precious little creatures. They are afraid of roving bands of ferrets despite that they have been domesticated for 1000s of years. I had two. The worse they would do is pry open the kitchen door by laying on their backs and hooking their claws under the door, and then go play in that bin under your stove that you store pots in. The male also liked to play in the fireplace. He'd get in there (despite the fire screen) and have a merry time, and then I'd find little black ferret prints everywhere. I'd have to hold him under the water facet until he was back to a normal ferret color.
 
2012-11-08 09:42:53 AM  
As a ferret, I'm really digging these comments!
 
2012-11-08 09:45:28 AM  

Kepo: Said with a bad 'down under' accent:

That't not a angry ferret...

THAT is a angry ferret.


Nah, that's a yawning ferret.
 
2012-11-08 09:45:31 AM  

ElusiveWookiee: Wanted for questioning.


Are those his ferts?
 
2012-11-08 09:46:16 AM  
Pootled

That is all.
 
2012-11-08 09:46:34 AM  
Was the old lady named Mother Abigail?


/weasles/ferrets wuts the diff?
 
2012-11-08 09:50:20 AM  
Yuk it up, folks.

You won't find this so funny if YOU are ever attacked by an angry ferret.

My brother died that way, you know. I'm not laughing.
 
2012-11-08 09:52:46 AM  
2 ferrets +balls of newspaper = better than network television

/Ex called them "tube-rats"
 
2012-11-08 09:53:15 AM  

Kinek: I have one word for you all.

Pootled.

That is all.


Not to blame the victim or anything, but she never would have been attacked if she hadn't been pootling.
 
2012-11-08 09:53:24 AM  
It's a good thing it was't a badger that got her.
 
2012-11-08 09:53:41 AM  
Hah! that's NOTHING!!

We have gangs of pigeons in the town centre who are so hardcore (well, compared to other pigeons anyway) that they steal mobility scooters!
pigeon on mobility scooter goodness

Had I been a few seconds sharper taking that pic, there would've been THREE pigeons on it.
Ferrets? Nah... ferrets are mere pussy cats... the woman over-reacted and scared it.
My one daliance with a ferret resulted in some of the best video I've ever shot.. Link
And I have a friend who has ferrets... those things are just fun to be around!
 
2012-11-08 09:54:28 AM  

i478.photobucket.com

 
2012-11-08 09:59:19 AM  
Picture looks like, "Say that to my face motherf*ucker, not on the internet. See what happens."
 
2012-11-08 10:02:14 AM  
Angry Ferret is the euphemism I use for my phallus.
 
2012-11-08 10:02:34 AM  
farm4.staticflickr.com
 
2012-11-08 10:03:22 AM  
I'd say he looks more miffed than out right angry but hey, I've been wrong before.
 
2012-11-08 10:03:23 AM  
That's what you get when you're pootling about. Ferrets hate pootlers.
 
2012-11-08 10:05:10 AM  

Kepo: Said with a bad 'down under' accent:

That't not a angry ferret...

THAT is a angry ferret.


Actually, that's a sleepy ferret. He's just yawning. It's their most common facial expression. Super cute.
 
2012-11-08 10:06:19 AM  

Mr.Hawk: [i478.photobucket.com image 400x400]


img831.imageshack.us

/extremely quick and dirty
 
2012-11-08 10:07:03 AM  
"Will you forget about the farking marmot!!"
 
2012-11-08 10:08:53 AM  
Come at me bro.
 
2012-11-08 10:10:50 AM  
Ferrets are cute, but man they be stanky.

/ Damn it, now I miss the ex :(
 
2012-11-08 10:16:23 AM  
CSB Time

I had three ferrets. Incidentally, if you wash their bedding every weekend and clean litter daily, they don't smell to high heaven. You know neglectful fert owners when their entire house smells like gland. Anyway, i was living in Japan at the time and we wetre looking for a companion to our first ferret. The clreak told me to be careful as the ones in the enclosure were 'not nice'. Well, I went to pick one up and it sunk it's little fangs into the tender webbing between my thumb and index finger. That was pain. I hade to choke up on the little bugger to get it to let go. Ferrets ain't no joke, man.
 
2012-11-08 10:19:05 AM  
But police won't investigate the incident, saying it was not a criminal matter.

that and Ferrets are known to slip handcuffs as easily as breathing. (or attacking an 80 year old)
 
2012-11-08 10:21:40 AM  
Love me some ferrets, but yeah, they are stinky little mofos. And the toilet habits - sheesh. Not good. And we've had one serious biter. Broke her of the habit of biting us after about 18 months of consistent training, but she would still bite anyone new that came into the apt. Sharpest goddamn teeth on the planet, that one.
 
2012-11-08 10:23:07 AM  
Send the Beastmaster to sort 'im out.
 
2012-11-08 10:23:31 AM  
Love the ad at the bottom of my page for this article...

pagead2.googlesyndication.com
 
2012-11-08 10:28:35 AM  
i6.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-08 10:29:41 AM  
Had an albino ferret when I was a kid. Couldn't have dog where we lived, so a ferret was what II wound up with. Sucky pet. Stinky, bitey, hard to get a hold of if it escaped. My dad was a smoker who carried his cigs in his shirt pocket. The ferret would smell the tobacco and climb up on him and bite either his cigarettes or if he missed, his teat. Dad acted like that teat-biting thing was fairly unpleasant.
 
2012-11-08 10:31:31 AM  

Okieboy: Was the old lady named Mother Abigail?


/weasles/ferrets wuts the diff?


4.bp.blogspot.com

Mother Abigail was too bad@ss for a mobility scooter.
 
2012-11-08 10:33:08 AM  
I'm not sure you can capture an angry ferret on a still picture... They practically define the term "hopping mad". That being said, maybe she was playing a harmonica, I know that pisses our ferret off every time, she'll come running from wherever she's currently hiding to bite the player's feet.
 
2012-11-08 10:35:08 AM  
i.imgur.com

Hi there. Say goodbye to your nethers.

/Always check your toilet for weasels
 
2012-11-08 10:40:25 AM  

Badgers: [i.imgur.com image 764x1024]

Hi there. Say goodbye to your nethers.

/Always check your toilet for weasels


Oh god! I've always been concerned about T-Rexes blasting through the roof while i'm on the shiatter, but now i have to worry about an attack from below too?!
 
2012-11-08 10:46:20 AM  
Perfect thread to shamelessly plug my wife's business (heh heh, plug my wife's busniess, hehe).
Seriously, she makes awesome masks.
Mad Stoat Maskworks
http://www.madstoat.com
 
2012-11-08 10:46:42 AM  

Kepo: Said with a bad 'down under' accent:

That't not a angry ferret...

[i.chzbgr.com image 500x412]

THAT is a angry ferret.


that's a sleepy ferret yawning, is that!
 
2012-11-08 10:47:16 AM  
grumble link grumble
Link
 
2012-11-08 10:49:21 AM  
third time's the charm, eh?
 
2012-11-08 10:50:52 AM  

johnson442: 2 ferrets +balls of newspaper = better than network television

/Ex called them "tube-rats"


Ferrets vs network TV? - They both stink.

/ in different ways, but they still both stink.
 
2012-11-08 10:54:45 AM  
I'm thinking that Louie the Budweiser lizard hired the ferret to do it.
 
2012-11-08 10:56:17 AM  
i283.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-08 10:57:44 AM  

jtown: Nice marmot.


Also, let's not forget -let's NOT forget, Dude - that keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for uh, domestic, you know, within the city - that ain't legal either.
 
2012-11-08 11:02:10 AM  
What saddens me about this story (aside from the granny attack) is that someone thought they were going to have a pet ferret and didn't know thing one about proper care. Clearly they didn't ferret-proof their residence. Ferrets take a lot of care and attention to make really good pets. Or I should say, people who are willing to put in the time and effort will make really good ferret owners. Ferrets come with all of the benefits of dogs (fun, playful) and the benefits of cats (litter training) but requires you to accept all of the bad things (biting, tearing up shiat) about them, too.
 
2012-11-08 11:10:07 AM  

kumanoki: What saddens me about this story (aside from the granny attack) is that someone thought they were going to have a pet ferret and didn't know thing one about proper care. Clearly they didn't ferret-proof their residence. Ferrets take a lot of care and attention to make really good pets. Or I should say, people who are willing to put in the time and effort will make really good ferret owners. Ferrets come with all of the benefits of dogs (fun, playful) and the benefits of cats (litter training) but requires you to accept all of the bad things (biting, tearing up shiat) about them, too.


I baby-sat a tag-team of ferrets for about a week. I'd let them out to play, but I could NOT relax the whole time or ignore them... it seems though, that they want you to relax so they can go poop in a corner (in spite of a clean litter box), or find their way into the very dangerous crevasses like between the refrigerator and counter, under a dishwasher, behind a drier, up a fireplace... still, with all that retroactive ferret proofing, and having lost a few battles with the corner pooping, I would seriously consider ferrets as a great choice for companionship. They were fun, and were well behaved most of the time. They were a lot of fun. YMMV
 
2012-11-08 11:10:22 AM  
Ferret: "That's the biggest raisin I've ever seen!"
 
2012-11-08 11:12:01 AM  
Im sorry, I just made it think there was a juicy bug crawling up her leg.

/+1 internets if you get the reference (even if not worded correctly)
 
2012-11-08 11:12:14 AM  

fringedmyotis: Love me some ferrets, but yeah, they are stinky little mofos. And the toilet habits - sheesh. Not good.


My ferret never used her litterbox, but we discovered she loved to lurk in paper bags and do her business in there. So we'd just leave out a couple lunch bags, she'd poop once or twice a day in them, and we'd toss them out... no mess.
 
2012-11-08 11:20:54 AM  

dinomyar: Im sorry, I just made it think there was a juicy bug crawling up her leg.

/+1 internets if you get the reference (even if not worded correctly)


It's from The Miracle Worker. Poor Helen!
 
2012-11-08 11:24:56 AM  
What are you, a park ranger now?
 
2012-11-08 11:27:28 AM  

dinomyar: Im sorry, I just made it think there was a juicy bug crawling up her leg.

/+1 internets if you get the reference (even if not worded correctly)


Service guarantees citizenship.

/The only good ferret is a dead ferret.
 
2012-11-08 11:28:45 AM  
Mongooses tried to steal our lunch while we were snorkeling down in St. John, USVI. They unzipped the backpack it was in without any problem, and I'm ~pretty~ certain that, if they'd had enough time, they'd have figured out how to get the thermal lunchbox open (if only by gnawing through it). After that, tearing open the ziploc baggies inside would have been ... no pun intended, but... a piece of cake. Weaselly little rascals!

/Was it bad of us to toss them some of our Pringles? ;-)
 
2012-11-08 11:32:28 AM  

HailRobonia: It's from The Miracle Worker. Poor Helen!


Incorrect, sorry. (or at least not the reference I know of)

Wretschko: Service guarantees citizenship.


:) +1 for you

/I like ferrets, and they serve an important purpose in the wild
 
2012-11-08 11:51:12 AM  
Mrs Bander and I kept a few ferrets. We had a couple of cages connected with that black plastic drainage tubing; for a while our living room was part Habitrail. There's a bit of maintenance involved, and they definitely have an odor, but they are also incredibly fun creatures to have around. They seem to be locked in perpetual play mode when they're not sleeping.

Ultimately we stopped keeping ferrets because they die so soon. With a life-span of 5-7 years, you just have time to really get to know them before they're geriatric or cancer-ridden. It was just too sad, too often, especially for Mrs Bander.

I think the cats were glad when we put away the cages and tubing. The dogs seemed to enjoy the ferrets, but the cats... Don't know why, but cats are completely freaked out by ferrets.
 
2012-11-08 11:51:23 AM  
www.tvequals.com
 
2012-11-08 12:19:31 PM  
She got off easy! I wish I could remember the name of the ferret-thing that ate the kid's caretaker, in that one short story whose name and author I can't remember either.
 
2012-11-08 12:57:42 PM  
That ferret doesn't look angry. It looks incapable of anger. It looks sociopathic.

Seriously, that is one serial killer ferret.
 
2012-11-08 03:50:19 PM  

Akabander: Mrs Bander and I kept a few ferrets. We had a couple of cages connected with that black plastic drainage tubing; for a while our living room was part Habitrail. There's a bit of maintenance involved, and they definitely have an odor, but they are also incredibly fun creatures to have around. They seem to be locked in perpetual play mode when they're not sleeping.

Ultimately we stopped keeping ferrets because they die so soon. With a life-span of 5-7 years, you just have time to really get to know them before they're geriatric or cancer-ridden. It was just too sad, too often, especially for Mrs Bander.

I think the cats were glad when we put away the cages and tubing. The dogs seemed to enjoy the ferrets, but the cats... Don't know why, but cats are completely freaked out by ferrets.


Same here. Had six of them over a 10 year span. Loveable and endearing, but high maintenance, high cost, and heartbreaking to lose them so quickly.

If you did regular litterbox and bedding changes, plus fed a good quality food, and generally kept their area clean, the smell was minimal.

Sure do miss those little turds. The ferrets, not the actual turds.
 
2012-11-08 03:51:12 PM  

kumanoki: What saddens me about this story (aside from the granny attack) is that someone thought they were going to have a pet ferret and didn't know thing one about proper care. Clearly they didn't ferret-proof their residence. Ferrets take a lot of care and attention to make really good pets. Or I should say, people who are willing to put in the time and effort will make really good ferret owners. Ferrets come with all of the benefits of dogs (fun, playful) and the benefits of cats (litter training) but requires you to accept all of the bad things (biting, tearing up shiat) about them, too.


Um... cats are fun and playful and litter trained. Why would I want a ferret? Or a dog, by your logic? ;)
 
2012-11-08 04:17:52 PM  

Jument: kumanoki: What saddens me about this story (aside from the granny attack) is that someone thought they were going to have a pet ferret and didn't know thing one about proper care. Clearly they didn't ferret-proof their residence. Ferrets take a lot of care and attention to make really good pets. Or I should say, people who are willing to put in the time and effort will make really good ferret owners. Ferrets come with all of the benefits of dogs (fun, playful) and the benefits of cats (litter training) but requires you to accept all of the bad things (biting, tearing up shiat) about them, too.

Um... cats are fun and playful and litter trained. Why would I want a ferret? Or a dog, by your logic? ;)


You sound cat (person).
 
2012-11-08 04:20:19 PM  

kumanoki: but requires you to accept all of the bad things (biting, tearing up shiat, stealing absolutely anything that isn't nailed down and hiding it in random hard to reach places around the house) about them, too.


Expanded that for you...

Akabander: I think the cats were glad when we put away the cages and tubing. The dogs seemed to enjoy the ferrets, but the cats... Don't know why, but cats are completely freaked out by ferrets.


Yeah, we had a couple of fairly old cats when my roommate got a ferret, and neither of them cared for his presence at all... He kept trying to play with them, but they wanted nothing to do with him... Especially since his favorite "play" attack was to jump on their back and bite their ear while riding the angry, bucking cat feverishly trying to throw him off!

/He also used to steal all their cat toys and hide them under my roommate's bed...
 
2012-11-08 05:03:55 PM  

special20: kumanoki: What saddens me about this story (aside from the granny attack) is that someone thought they were going to have a pet ferret and didn't know thing one about proper care. Clearly they didn't ferret-proof their residence. Ferrets take a lot of care and attention to make really good pets. Or I should say, people who are willing to put in the time and effort will make really good ferret owners. Ferrets come with all of the benefits of dogs (fun, playful) and the benefits of cats (litter training) but requires you to accept all of the bad things (biting, tearing up shiat) about them, too.

I baby-sat a tag-team of ferrets for about a week. I'd let them out to play, but I could NOT relax the whole time or ignore them... it seems though, that they want you to relax so they can go poop in a corner (in spite of a clean litter box), or find their way into the very dangerous crevasses like between the refrigerator and counter, under a dishwasher, behind a drier, up a fireplace... still, with all that retroactive ferret proofing, and having lost a few battles with the corner pooping, I would seriously consider ferrets as a great choice for companionship. They were fun, and were well behaved most of the time. They were a lot of fun. YMMV


(N)CSB: Had a friend who was putting dishes in dishwasher. Turned around to do something else and his pet ferret got into the dishwasher. He closed it without looking and turned it on and left. He was not so pleasantly surprised when he unloaded the dishwasher.
 
2012-11-08 06:13:39 PM  
Obviously the posh part of town...My neighborhood has honey badgers.
 
2012-11-08 06:53:55 PM  
i303.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-08 07:27:48 PM  

AcesFull: Obviously the posh part of town...My neighborhood has honey badgers.


Is it participating in the wolverine trap-neuter-release program?
 
2012-11-08 08:41:49 PM  
We have four ferrets. Ruby, Roxy, Snoopy, and Slinky.
Well, not BITE bite. Maybe a nip on the toes, but not enough to even break skin.
 
2012-11-08 09:30:23 PM  
 
2012-11-08 09:30:33 PM  

Akabander: cats are completely freaked out by ferrets.


Mine loved to play together:

fc08.deviantart.net

And rest together:

fc02.deviantart.net

There's a squirrel in that shirt pocket, too.
 
2012-11-08 09:59:43 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

Come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth
 
2012-11-08 10:53:37 PM  

razyjean: There's a squirrel in that shirt pocket, too.


Amazing. Do birds land on your shoulders too?
 
2012-11-08 11:43:41 PM  

And rest together:

[fc02.deviantart.net image 850x573]

There's a squirrel in that shirt pocket, too.


Ermahgerd! As far as pet-related sights go, nothing is better than a tuckered out fert. I had to let mine go due to increasing amounts of heat waves with no air conditioning so I am getting a nostalgic kick out of this thread.

/Was I not supposed to finish that sentence?
 
2012-11-09 02:43:43 AM  
cineplex.media.baselineresearch.com
I was told it didn't bite.
 
Displayed 83 of 83 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report