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(FreeMonachy.com)   Free Republic sends an Open letter of apology to the Queen. No, not Nate Silver, the other one   (freerepublic.com) divider line 64
    More: Strange, Free Republic, sovereign citizens, charlatans  
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5059 clicks; posted to Politics » on 08 Nov 2012 at 7:49 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-11-08 02:45:28 AM  
9 votes:
So come on back to the motherlode, freepers. We can offer you a socialist welfare system with single payer health care, but totally free if you are poor. Free housing for the poor paid for by local taxes. Draconian gun control where even owning a handgun will get you five years, Legalised same-sex unions. A true 'State religion' although most of us are atheists. You'll fit right in.
Only joking. We don't want you.
2012-11-08 08:43:01 AM  
5 votes:

theteacher: Freepers start their apology tour. What's next? Apologizing to Germany for getting involved in WWII?


Dear Germany:

Sorry about that whole WWII thing. If we knew people would elect a fascist communist nazi muslim atheist, we would have just let you guys take over and saved ourselves the trouble.

Sincerely,
DERP
2012-11-08 07:59:59 AM  
5 votes:
The British don't want you, jerkoffs. And we also don't want you in Canada, farksticks. Nor do they want you in any sane country populated mostly by white people--which are, let's face it, the only countries you want to live in.

These people hate the rest of their own country, but don't realize they'd hate the rest of the free world even more. It's so, so sad. But also so amazingly fun to watch them spin around until they get dizzy and trip over the piles of ammunition in their kitchen and fall over and lie on the kitchen floor, fat, flailing and confused by a changing world.
2012-11-08 04:36:56 AM  
5 votes:

marcpen: So come on back to the motherlode, freepers. We can offer you a socialist welfare system with single payer health care, but totally free if you are poor. Free housing for the poor paid for by local taxes. Draconian gun control where even owning a handgun will get you five years, Legalised same-sex unions. A true 'State religion' although most of us are atheists. You'll fit right in.
Only joking. We don't want you.


Don't we? I thought that's why we took an poor child from an obscure village in British ruled Kenya, shipped him to Hawaii and set him on course to re-integrate the colonies back into the Empire. Who else had the power to forge birth certificates, plant stories in papers, rig elections if not our beloved Queen?

Yes, Americans. Donald Trump was right. How do you feel now? Hahahahaauh... uh oh. The Queen's looking pissed at me. I probably shouldn't hit add comment or i'll undo all her hard work. Ah, but this is Fark, you guys won't tell anyone, right? Yeah, we cool.
2012-11-08 10:02:24 AM  
3 votes:
i.imgur.com
2012-11-08 08:47:29 AM  
3 votes:
I knew it all along. They wear their tri-cornered hats and flaunt their teabagging, but deep down freepers are traitorous Tory scum.

Down with King George! Long live the Revolution!
2012-11-08 08:43:20 AM  
3 votes:
Heh. A couple theads down there's a doofus who wrote a letter apologizing to Israel. I guess Republicans are on an apology tour.
2012-11-08 08:30:13 AM  
3 votes:

quatchi: TalenLee: It's spelled Monarchy for farks sake.

I saw that and thought it might be a clever nod to Beck's "Oligarhy" thing rather than a typo.

[cdn.gunaxin.com image 480x360]


Yeah, that's what it was.

More
Obama
Nightmares
And
Changey
Hopey
Yuck!

/Definitely not just a fat fingered subby with Autocorrect turned off.
//No siiireee.
2012-11-08 08:16:14 AM  
3 votes:
Some liberal wrote that and tried to try and make those guys look bad. No self respecting American would ever write something like that.

It will be interesting in 2014 when the democrats lose even MORE seats in the house and probably the senate.
2012-11-08 08:12:41 AM  
3 votes:
I don't know about you guys, but I like their tears with a whisper of vermouth and two olives.
2012-11-08 08:02:39 AM  
3 votes:
Oh, and by the way, anyone who wants to jump in on any of the Commonwealth nations, just check out what the word Commonwealth means.

/hint: It's farking socialism.
2012-11-08 11:11:02 AM  
2 votes:

heavymetal: Wow, the butthurt is worse than I thought. Of course if you think about it for a minute; since conservatives generally resist change they feel goes against "tradition", during the American Revolution conservatives were called "loyalists". So in reality, wanting to become subjects to the crown again is American conservatism in its purest form.


chawedrosin.files.wordpress.com
2012-11-08 10:49:33 AM  
2 votes:
i13.photobucket.com

i13.photobucket.com
2012-11-08 10:40:23 AM  
2 votes:

Znuh: And pretty much this:

http://whitepeoplemourningromney.tumblr.com/


Oh, holy shiat, this one:
cdn.theatlantic.com
2012-11-08 10:35:15 AM  
2 votes:
All this open butthurt just because the American People didn't want a corporate predator and an Ayn Rand fanatic to rule the country with an iron fist on orders from the Koch Brothers.
hellgateguru.com
2012-11-08 10:30:42 AM  
2 votes:
Personally, this is my fave.

25.media.tumblr.com

/Mnmm invisible cucumbers
2012-11-08 10:09:17 AM  
2 votes:

DamnYankees: EyeballKid: From Bin Laden to the Confederacy to the monarchy, Republicans seem to empathize strongest with the traditional enemies of America. Wonder why?

Lets be fair - Americans love Monarchy. They just want to elect the Monarch.


images2.wikia.nocookie.net
2012-11-08 09:53:32 AM  
2 votes:

EyeballKid: From Bin Laden to the Confederacy to the monarchy, Republicans seem to empathize strongest with the traditional enemies of America. Wonder why?


The enemy of my enemy is my potato
2012-11-08 09:12:43 AM  
2 votes:
So is this the beginning of the Republican apology tour?
2012-11-08 08:54:52 AM  
2 votes:
Dear Queen,

Despite being a home to immigrants or descendants of immigrants from nearly every continent, inbreeding remains a problem in America.

Sincerely,
A Shrinking Portion of American Citizens
2012-11-08 08:34:35 AM  
2 votes:
Freepers start their apology tour. What's next? Apologizing to Germany for getting involved in WWII?
2012-11-08 08:22:42 AM  
2 votes:
Fricken Freeper drama queens....

i49.tinypic.com
2012-11-08 08:20:43 AM  
2 votes:
I love the one who told the Queen, "All is forgiven". How magnanimous. As if anyone outside our borders gives two squirts of piss about teatards and their sand filled vaginas.
2012-11-08 08:13:03 AM  
2 votes:

MisterLoki: I wonder what is like to entirely lack self awareness.


Just asking that question means you'll never know.
2012-11-08 08:12:26 AM  
2 votes:
Dear American Idiots,

We really don't care. We're glad to be rid of you. So, bugger off.

- Queen Elizabeth II
2012-11-08 08:01:17 AM  
2 votes:
It's spelled Monarchy for farks sake.
2012-11-08 07:56:54 AM  
2 votes:
Do it, or move to Texas and secede. I won't even put up a fight. You guys win, you won your independence. Viva la Revolution!

wait, you want a fight? So even if you tried to secede and we just let you, you'd get all pissy too because we're not putting up a fight? Man, you lot are a bunch of attention whores, aren't you?
2012-11-08 01:49:38 PM  
1 votes:
i42.photobucket.com
2012-11-08 01:20:23 PM  
1 votes:
There are well over 3 million democrats living in Texas. We are not willing to give up Texas without a fight.To all of you Americans out there that wan't us to succede HELL NO WE WON'T GO!! Texas will become a blue state within my life time. I am saving all of my empty bottles to collect the republican tears when this happens. I intend to sell them on EBAY.
2012-11-08 11:42:10 AM  
1 votes:

Lutrasimilis: Almost Swiftian in its rapier-like subtlety.


Hey, if there's one thing Republicans know, it's rapiers.
2012-11-08 11:23:37 AM  
1 votes:
24.media.tumblr.com
2012-11-08 11:17:45 AM  
1 votes:

CapeFearCadaver: odinsposse: Lord_Baull: Gaseous Anomaly: CapeFearCadaver: Something's got to be done with them. They're going to start shooting people, bombing themselves into oblivion with homemade concoctions. Is there a way we can shut FNC down? They're becoming enemies of the State and I truly believe the crazy is only going to get worse.

FNC is a symptom, not the cause. To truly fix the problem you have to fix epistemic closure, the circular logic that allows reality bubbles to persist:

- Fact X, reported by source Y, contradicts conservative dogma.
- Solely because of this, source Y is liberally biased, and therefore not to be trusted.
- Repeat until nothing trustworthy contradicts conservative dogma.


How would they explain a rejection of the Bible?

By fixing it.

Good lord. We should start a version of the Orange Catholic Bible...


But Mitt has already violated the stricture against having thinking machines.
2012-11-08 11:14:49 AM  
1 votes:

chopit: davideggy: The more I look around at the craziness of US evangelical Christians, the more I think England might have had a good point forcing the Pilgrims out. I used to think the Catholic Church was nuts. Now I see them as one of the more sane religions. Certainly they have nothing on our evangelical Christians. And don't even get me started on the "magic gold plates that only I can read" Mormons.

Can we kick them out now? I'll put in $10 towards a boat and some hardtack. I should really make this a kickstarter project.


I have thought for a long time that what they should do is set up a giant floatilla like those crazy evangelicals with the the viral mind disease in Snow Crash, and just live out on the ocean. They can derp all they want and they won't have to pay the ebil ebil gubmit any taxes for things like roads and education and infrastructure.

/Since you know, they won't listen to Reason.
2012-11-08 11:11:37 AM  
1 votes:

odinsposse: Lord_Baull: Gaseous Anomaly: CapeFearCadaver: Something's got to be done with them. They're going to start shooting people, bombing themselves into oblivion with homemade concoctions. Is there a way we can shut FNC down? They're becoming enemies of the State and I truly believe the crazy is only going to get worse.

FNC is a symptom, not the cause. To truly fix the problem you have to fix epistemic closure, the circular logic that allows reality bubbles to persist:

- Fact X, reported by source Y, contradicts conservative dogma.
- Solely because of this, source Y is liberally biased, and therefore not to be trusted.
- Repeat until nothing trustworthy contradicts conservative dogma.


How would they explain a rejection of the Bible?

By fixing it.


River: So we'll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God's creation of Eden. Eleven inherent metaphoric parallels already there. Eleven. Important number. Prime number. One goes into the house of eleven eleven times, but always comes out one. Noah's ark is a problem. We'll have to call it early quantum state phenomenon. Only way to fit 5000 species of mammal on the same boat.
2012-11-08 10:37:39 AM  
1 votes:
Dear America,

If you will take my husband Philip as your King, you are welcome to him. He cheats, he has terrible gas and it is very hard to find footmen who will tolerate employment under him.

Please note, you should lock up all your females unless you want an entire generation of very tall, balding women born to your nation.

Sincerely,

Elizabeth II, Regina and Anus Horribilis

P.S. Do not let your daughters become engaged to fakirs. Philip tends carry things a bit beyond the whinging stage
2012-11-08 10:36:02 AM  
1 votes:
imageshack.us
2012-11-08 10:32:37 AM  
1 votes:

hammettman: They've really lost the plot, haven't they?


Found this steaming pile on their doorstep this morning. If they actually think this attitude will work, more power to them:

We are simply outnumbered by ...

* The gimme cult
* The race cult
* The vagina cult
* The sodom cult
* The drug cult
* The entertainment cult
* The cult of Marx
* The democrat cult


Nothing is their fault. Ever.
2012-11-08 10:32:04 AM  
1 votes:
Dear former Subjects,

Unfortunately we are unable to accommodate your offer to return to British Sovereignty as a few things have changed over here since 1776. Specifically;

1. We no longer view black or brown people as our personal property.
2. We no longer think the answer to foreign leaders who don't agree with us is to launch an invasion.
3. We now let women vote and do all sorts of other smart health care things,
4. We regard religion as a kind of opt-in or opt-out deal, not a political doctrine.
5. We have stopped transporting criminals to the colonies so they can't be seen by others (ie Gitmo).
6. We no longer let people die because they are poor.
7. We let everyone over 18 vote without impediment or restriction.
8. We don't believe everything we read in the Press and have encouraged people to form "opinions" themselves.
9. We still believe in hard work, but we don't punish or ignore those whose progress in life is not as brisk as others.
10. Finally and most importantly, we regard Britain as a land of equal opportunity and fairness, clearly this is at odds with your underlying ideology.

As a consequence we are unable to accept your offer, but the following countries have stated they admire your principles and will accept you:

a, North Korea.
b. Iran.
c.Republic of China (no debtors please)
d. Albania.
2012-11-08 10:00:32 AM  
1 votes:
Well, I think this makes it clear.

-They don't care about socialized health care, which is much bigger in britain.
-They don't care about tax rates, which are much higher in britain.
-They don't care about the welfare state, which is much bigger in britain.
-They don't care about socialized industries, which are much more numerous in britain.

They just want to be ruled by a white person. It's not complicated!
2012-11-08 09:49:53 AM  
1 votes:
Poutrage on Facebook is still very much going on in my feeds and a coworker repeated the Rush Limbaugh line that you cant fight Santa Claus today.
2012-11-08 09:41:35 AM  
1 votes:
0.tqn.com

assets.diylol.com

www.troll.me
2012-11-08 09:41:02 AM  
1 votes:

UNC_Samurai: MindStalker: somedude210: Do it, or move to Texas and secede.

Hey maybe they can time it with our inviting in Puerto Rico. We wouldn't even have to fix our flag.

//Though with the loss of Texas electoral college vote, the Republicans couldn't win another election this century.

Chuck Todd said last night that with the changing demographics, in 2016 Georgia, Texas and Arizona will be battleground states.

Imagine the hard-line Republicans' reaction when they have to move to the center to keep GA and TX in play.


I just can't picture it: TEXAS a battleground state. It feels like a fanfic.
2012-11-08 09:31:55 AM  
1 votes:

EyeballKid: From Bin Laden to the Confederacy to the monarchy, Republicans seem to empathize strongest with the traditional enemies of America. Wonder why?


Lets be fair - Americans love Monarchy. They just want to elect the Monarch.
2012-11-08 09:24:03 AM  
1 votes:

Forbidden Doughnut: keylock71: Bunch of farking drama queens...

I thought these "rugged individualists" were supposed to be tough?

It is hilarious that these mental midgets spent the last four years screaming about Obama's "Apology Tour", but then turn around and put out a soppy apology to a Queen, who has no power, in a country that is far more socialistic than anything these morons complain about here in the States.

In short, man up, you soppy vaginas. A black man in the White House isn't the end of the world. You'll live.

In the end, I think that's what it's always been about with these people. All of the other issues with Obama ( and there are some legitimate ones ) are just window dressing...


Oh, there are plenty of legitimate ones. But these weeping chocolate starfish don't voice any of the legitimate stuff; instead, we get this:

sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net
2012-11-08 09:23:14 AM  
1 votes:
So I was thinking about this last night.
When did America get so very scared?

We used to be badasses... I mean we elected Teddy for god's sake... he was a madman with a perchance for killing bears with his teeth and he invented parkour for all intents and purposes. Jackson who was a big fan of duels... hell, the USSR sent a little beeping ball into orbit so we claimed the moon, because Fark You, that's why.

All that American Exceptionalism used to kinda be valid. We did amazing things, and kicked a lot of ass in the process. Now we're afraid of every damned thing in the world and still try to be the badass.

I'm thinking it was the cold war that started it... where we learned to be scared. Then the media took advantage of that, and has kept us there ever since, because fear makes them money.
2012-11-08 09:18:36 AM  
1 votes:
Somalia: Open for Business
2012-11-08 09:13:06 AM  
1 votes:
So they want to be lobsterbacks, eh?

You know what a real American does to lobsterbacks?

Slaughter them in their sleep on Christmas.
2012-11-08 09:07:41 AM  
1 votes:
ametia.files.wordpress.com

/fark Freepers
2012-11-08 09:03:06 AM  
1 votes:

WaffleStomper: Some liberal wrote that and tried to try and make those guys look bad. No self respecting American would ever write something like that.

It will be interesting in 2014 when the democrats lose even MORE seats in the house and probably the senate.


Must have been a few other liberals agreeing with him and extending a few other gems like:

The problem is, just as in other democracies, we have handed out the "right" to vote without anyone earning it.
2012-11-08 08:54:11 AM  
1 votes:

theteacher: Freepers start their apology tour. What's next? Apologizing to Germany for getting involved in WWII?


Newt already covered that in his history book that called WWII the most unnecessary war EVAR.
2012-11-08 08:47:24 AM  
1 votes:

tudorgurl: Oh, why don't you Freepers and crazy ass mofos just shut the hell up? Seriously, just grow the fark up.


No. No. no. You should be enjoying this whilst it lasts. This crazy, delicious butthurt is to be reveled in.
d23 [TotalFark]
2012-11-08 08:45:14 AM  
1 votes:

Tyrone Slothrop: Heh. A couple theads down there's a doofus who wrote a letter apologizing to Israel. I guess Republicans are on an apology tour.


uh.. Drink?
2012-11-08 08:41:35 AM  
1 votes:
content.ytmnd.com

Someone run this over to them. I think they desperately need it.
2012-11-08 08:36:33 AM  
1 votes:

Nemo's Brother: Canada will not allow poor or brown people into their country.


Citation
2012-11-08 08:35:36 AM  
1 votes:
Did Mrs. a-Wiggins pen that letter?
2012-11-08 08:28:13 AM  
1 votes:

WaffleStomper: Some liberal wrote that and tried to try and make those guys look bad. No self respecting American would ever write something like that.



Sure, he did.
2012-11-08 08:26:56 AM  
1 votes:

deffuse: DesktopHippie: I'm sure the freepers would just love the UK. With their free healthcare and extensive welfare system and the Labour Party being the second most powerful political party in government. They'll fit RIGHT in,

Often wondered about this - if you hate socialism and socialised health care so much you want to leave America, you have a pretty poor selection of places to go an live (bar the eastern euro states - which are of course trying to start so they can get into the euro if they want). Not saying that any of the non-health care countries are terrible, just that they might have other things that these want-to-leavers might find 'wrong' in them..

[www.blogcdn.com image 850x372]


map is inaccurate.

Ghana, Nigeria, Mali, Kenya, India, Indonesia, and Vietnam should be shaded in green; Rwanda and the Philippines should be blue.
2012-11-08 08:24:00 AM  
1 votes:
It's been well reported that the Queen and Michele Obama got on extremely well, more so than any previous First Lady, to the point of a genuine friendship.

So I imagine she'd reply "Look. I'm the most experienced statehead in the world. I''ve been doing this crap for 60 years. You''re a farking idiot."
2012-11-08 08:19:44 AM  
1 votes:
It becomes pretty obvious that you just don't want the black guy in office when the guy you nominate to run against him is worse than him on all the issues you care about and you still cry like a man child when he loses.
2012-11-08 08:15:51 AM  
1 votes:
Tough shiat we don't want you .. I know you're normally choking on your American exceptionalism cock and aren't big on knowing/caring about other countries but let me assure you:

Any politician who even mentions Jesus has just signed their political suicide note

We're not big on banning abortions.. under the it's-none-of-our-farking-business-I'm-cooking-stew clause.

Our press still have (just) enough integrity to make an issue when a politician is canvassing for something the complete opposite of what they said a week before.

America was formed in the first place from bigots who couldn't get their way here .. I guess history is as big an unknown unknown as geography.

We're not that big fans of the Royal Family but generally cba to change it.

cheerio!
2012-11-08 08:02:47 AM  
1 votes:
CRY MOAR!

We survived eight years of Bush despite economic collapse and two costly wars, you can sure as fark survive eight years of slow but steady economic improvement, increased accessibility to health care, and less involvement in conflict under Obama.

Or, you know, move to Texas and secede like somedude210 said.
2012-11-08 07:57:48 AM  
1 votes:
Does this have anything at all to do with Mitt's promise to make sure the WH had two busts of Churchill in it at all times?

/Just trying to make sense of this.
2012-11-08 07:37:26 AM  
1 votes:
Because America becoming a British colony again would totally prevent any form of nationalized health care? I'm sorry, I'm having a hard time following the logic here.
2012-11-08 02:53:59 AM  
1 votes:
so ::yadda yadda yadda:: that they would blindly elect an unqualified charlatan, let alone reelect him.

Says the guy who voted for W. Twice.
 
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