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(FilmDrunk)   Michael Bay now accepting requests for what fans want in T4   (filmdrunk.uproxx.com) divider line 97
    More: Silly, Michael Bay  
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1680 clicks; posted to Geek » on 07 Nov 2012 at 11:12 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-07 08:49:15 PM
How about, don't do it?
 
2012-11-07 08:59:52 PM
Me , silentstrider, want to see Grimlock.
 
2012-11-07 09:00:12 PM
I think it should have explosions. And then more EXPLOSIONS!

Followed by some MICHAEL BAY EXPLOSIONS! AND MORE EXPLOSIONS BY MICHAEL BAY

MA-BA-BLAAAA-BAAAAAAAA-BAA-SPLOSIONS!!!!

MA-BA-SPLOOM!
 
2012-11-07 09:16:18 PM
Yeah we get it, you're a big Hollywood director who is terrible creatively but no one can do anything about it because you have a lot of signed contracts. Who cares, it doesn't change the fact that you suck.
 
2012-11-07 09:23:55 PM
I thought he was working on "Tonka Toys:The Movie".
 
2012-11-07 09:55:36 PM
Grimlock
 
2012-11-07 10:08:02 PM
A new director
 
2012-11-07 11:03:39 PM
You mean T5 ?
 
2012-11-07 11:14:27 PM

simplicimus: How about, don't do it?


simplicimus: How about, don't do it?


simplicimus: How about, don't do it?

 
2012-11-07 11:16:35 PM
I want to see him re-use a scene from a previous movie.
 
2012-11-07 11:19:40 PM
Record-player Soundwave. After all, that is the current format.
 
2012-11-07 11:27:29 PM
All the horror aspects of Terminator with the big budget action of Judgement Day.

Wait, what?
 
2012-11-07 11:29:00 PM
Bring back Megan Fox, and film a scene of her calling Spielberg Hitler.
 
2012-11-07 11:32:15 PM
nekkid female sebots!
 
2012-11-07 11:33:23 PM

taoistlumberjak: I want to see him re-use a scene from a previous movie.


You already have. I mean, not literally, but in principle. I saw the first two Transformers movies, and they both seemed like the same poorly filmed trash, except the second one was somehow worse.
 
2012-11-08 12:00:28 AM

PsyLord: nekkid female sebots!


mimg.ugo.com
Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day!
 
2012-11-08 12:12:33 AM
the fark was the last one about anyway

Wayne 985: taoistlumberjak: I want to see him re-use a scene from a previous movie.

You already have. I mean, not literally, but in principle. I saw the first two Transformers movies, and they both seemed like the same poorly filmed trash, except the second one was somehow worse.


Which is weird because it was linear, easier to understand, and didn't feature optimus prime peeing on your mom's bush!
 
2012-11-08 12:21:07 AM
I didnt rtfa, so I assumed Subby meant Terminator 4.

No one refers to the Transfomers as T anything.
 
2012-11-08 12:21:58 AM
1. No farking humans. We see one fleshbag and there'll be blood, unless said fleshbag is being stepped on by a giant robot.

2. Optimus Prime has lips = someone's getting beaten with a hammer.

3. For the love of god stay away from the fringe-ier characters. And for the characters you DO choose, stay close as possible to the farking original designs. We see another "Devastator" with testicles and you lose yours Mr. Bay. (I use that name loosely as he had no freaking similarities between the original character besides Constructicons that never went into robot mode)

4. Dinobots

5. Maybe (if you're not so incompetant to screw it up) Superion Vs. Predaking? Or maybe bring Tripticon and Omega Supreme in.
 
2012-11-08 12:23:13 AM
P.S. Yes I know the Aerialbots' nemeses are actually the Stunticons, but I have horribly low hopes for Bay being able to do them successfully.
 
2012-11-08 12:23:15 AM
Over in one.
 
2012-11-08 12:24:11 AM
The Michael Bay Transformer movies have fans?
 
2012-11-08 12:24:17 AM
remember that time he held a contest to have optimus say something in the first movie? it was an overwhelming landslide victory for "Do a barrel roll" instead we get some crap "all living things have the right to life" or some bs. yeah, my guess is he's just using this to slip some ideas past the studio and not seem like he came up with them.
 
2012-11-08 12:29:13 AM
sorry for the doublepost, but forgot one bit.
Junkions, dammit.
 
2012-11-08 12:36:16 AM
We start by making a big CG building and then we have a meteor go CRASH!

but seriously...

Get rid of the human actors and cut out all the "plot". I just want to watch giant robot fights. If I was trying to see anything besides a completely guilty pleasure I wouldn't be watching a stupid Michael Bay movie.
 
2012-11-08 12:36:39 AM
Terminator 4?
 
2012-11-08 12:44:29 AM

Mugato: Yeah we get it, you're a big Hollywood director who is terrible creatively but no one can do anything about it because you have a lot of signed contracts. Who cares, it doesn't change the fact that you suck.


He should do a movie about a plane that has to glide on to the Hudson River. He could call it Bird Strike: Transformers 5.
 
2012-11-08 12:54:45 AM
Another director.
 
2012-11-08 12:55:23 AM
For you, Mr. Bay, to Die in a Fire.
 
2012-11-08 01:14:52 AM
Stop using the shaky camera as a crutch.
 
2012-11-08 01:19:11 AM
Jar Jar Binks.
 
2012-11-08 02:03:28 AM
I want to see the damn WAR! No time travel, no saving one person then the movie ends, no magic bullet that undoes everything. I...WANT...TO...SEE...THE...BATTLES. I want to see humanity slug it out with a super advanced AI, his endless robot army, and the survivors of the nuclear holocaust. If not... don't make the damn movie.
 
2012-11-08 02:04:51 AM

INeedAName: I didnt rtfa, so I assumed Subby meant Terminator 4.

No one refers to the Transfomers as T anything.


So did I lol
 
2012-11-08 02:14:28 AM
Didn't Wimmer already do Terminator Four and cast Batman?
 
2012-11-08 02:24:28 AM
Hot Rod / Rodimus / Unicron.
 
2012-11-08 02:53:48 AM
Easy: Fire Michael Bay, hire James Cameron.
 
2012-11-08 03:04:51 AM
I thought the last time we had this discussiion for Dark Of The Moon, we decided on exploding robot tits.
 
2012-11-08 03:49:02 AM
I don't get the people who just want robot battles. Isn't that pretty much what we got? I want a story for once. The old cartoon had a cool story.
 
2012-11-08 03:53:54 AM

LDM90: I don't get the people who just want robot battles.


We can live. We can both live.
 
2012-11-08 04:07:12 AM

LDM90: I don't get the people who just want robot battles. Isn't that pretty much what we got? I want a story for once. The old cartoon had a cool story.


Because when you ask Michael Bay for a story you get Shia Lebouf running around like a jackass for half the movie.
 
2012-11-08 04:16:59 AM

simplicimus: How about, don't do it?


Yeah, cause the first three are so precious and artistic that we wouldnt want to see the franchise mullied...
 
2012-11-08 04:19:27 AM

GreenAdder: Hot Rod / Rodimus / Unicron.


Yeah! Unicorns! and rainbows... puppies and... oh... crap. carry on.
 
2012-11-08 04:25:05 AM
Transformers are a lot better without using humans. Does Beast Machines and Beast Wars ring a bell?

I remember watching a transformer series or was it two with a couple of lazy boys and a b*tchy little girl. That was God damned awful. Haven't seen the new series. Afraid to.
 
2012-11-08 05:44:11 AM
Unicron
 
2012-11-08 05:52:24 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: A new director


This was my first thought.
 
2012-11-08 06:01:35 AM
I have an idea...

How about a robot civil war on a distant planet that bleeds its resources dry, forcing both factions to seek extraterrestrial sources of energy to continue the fight, and they both find Earth around relatively the same time. One of the robot factions is benevolent and wants to bargain for our resources, the other is malevolent and wants to suck the planet dry. They fight and we get caught in the crossfire.

And you know why this plot will work? Because it was the farkING TV SHOW 30 YEARS AGO.

I sometimes think these filmmakers over-think their bloated franchises and stuff them with so many characters, factions and sub-plots in an attempt to go for that bombastically epic feel that the inverse happens: The movie comes out looking like an obstinate, overwrought god damn mess. No cohesion or focus at all.

Take a cue from James Cameron (who has never been known to make a bad action movie), and keep the plot simple. Robot civil war. Earth. Fighting for resources. That's all that has to happen. It's simple, it's definable, and it will resonate with today's generation living in a looming age of globalization, dwindling resources, an impending energy crisis, climate change and overpopulation. Don't weigh things down in inane McGuffins or turgid backstory.

So fark mythology, fark destiny and prophecy, fark the all-spark and any other lame McGuffin bullshiat, fark the douchebag kid and his MTV date movie contrived plot with his idiot parents and stupid getting-laid-schemes. And fark the movie robots -- fark their slapstick bullshiat, their pooping, peeing, farting, doghouse stepping, testicle dragging geriatric accents, their absent-minded babble, and their Three Stooges buffoonery. These are intelligent alien war death machines -- essentially a league of robot superheroes -- and they're reduced to toilet jokes -- how insulting is that? What if Christopher Nolan gave Batman uncontrollable flatulence or Jon Favreau made Ironman pinch a loaf inside his suit. How can anyone take any movie seriously that literally shiats on its own titanic characters in that manner?
 
2012-11-08 06:11:30 AM

taoistlumberjak: I want to see him re-use a scene from a previous movie.


You already have.

Every time you see shots of military hardware (especially jets in flight or firing missiles), it's generally stock footage from somewhere.
 
2012-11-08 06:39:42 AM
It'll never ever happen, but...

The Autobots and the Decepticons perform, in its entirety, West Side Story, while destroying New York with their oversized Jerome Robbins choreography.

/When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way...
 
2012-11-08 06:46:19 AM

Ishkur: I have an idea...

How about a robot civil war on a distant planet that bleeds its resources dry, forcing both factions to seek extraterrestrial sources of energy to continue the fight, and they both find Earth around relatively the same time. One of the robot factions is benevolent and wants to bargain for our resources, the other is malevolent and wants to suck the planet dry. They fight and we get caught in the crossfire.

And you know why this plot will work? Because it was the farkING TV SHOW 30 YEARS AGO.

I sometimes think these filmmakers over-think their bloated franchises and stuff them with so many characters, factions and sub-plots in an attempt to go for that bombastically epic feel that the inverse happens: The movie comes out looking like an obstinate, overwrought god damn mess. No cohesion or focus at all.

Take a cue from James Cameron (who has never been known to make a bad action movie), and keep the plot simple. Robot civil war. Earth. Fighting for resources. That's all that has to happen. It's simple, it's definable, and it will resonate with today's generation living in a looming age of globalization, dwindling resources, an impending energy crisis, climate change and overpopulation. Don't weigh things down in inane McGuffins or turgid backstory.

So fark mythology, fark destiny and prophecy, fark the all-spark and any other lame McGuffin bullshiat, fark the douchebag kid and his MTV date movie contrived plot with his idiot parents and stupid getting-laid-schemes. And fark the movie robots -- fark their slapstick bullshiat, their pooping, peeing, farting, doghouse stepping, testicle dragging geriatric accents, their absent-minded babble, and their Three Stooges buffoonery. These are intelligent alien war death machines -- essentially a league of robot superheroes -- and they're reduced to toilet jokes -- how insulting is that? What if Christopher Nolan gave Batman uncontrollable flatulence or Jon Favreau made Ironman pinch a loaf inside his sui ...


Uh..it was inferred that Iron Man had a bladder buddy installed in his suit, and used in public OMG SEX OFFENDER LIST.
 
2012-11-08 06:58:23 AM
ekdikeo4
You mean T5 ?


McG made T4 a do-over anyway. At least Bay would make it an organized, glorious trainwreck with cool rock music and explosions.

/So when will Bay get Star Trek?
 
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