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(Washington Post)   Friending your boss on Facebook: bad idea, stupidest idea, or worst idea ever?   (washingtonpost.com) divider line 171
    More: Obvious, Facebook, Facebook friends, professional network  
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13583 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Nov 2012 at 8:55 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-07 08:57:46 PM  
How do you deny your boss' friend request?
 
2012-11-07 09:00:14 PM  
Baaaaad idea. Don't need a boss to even know about social media/networking sites outside of LinkedIn.
 
2012-11-07 09:00:15 PM  
me?

good idea. I work from home 3,200 miles away from our office.

If I post a picture of me doing a kegstand I simply change the settings to custom and do not include him. Besides... even if he saw it he'd be pissed I didn't invite him out
 
2012-11-07 09:01:12 PM  
What could go wrong?

www.lamebook.com
 
2012-11-07 09:02:50 PM  
indianprairiecommunity.org

Though I am friends with a few of my workstudy student employees...
 
2012-11-07 09:03:41 PM  

Indubitably: How do you deny your boss' friend request?


By ignoring it.

/is that really that hard?
 
2012-11-07 09:03:45 PM  
Yes.
 
2012-11-07 09:03:47 PM  
Boss, teacher, professor, etc....oh, hell no.
 
2012-11-07 09:04:52 PM  
I don't use any media but Fark.
 
2012-11-07 09:05:51 PM  

Indubitably: I don't use any media but Fark.


Can't you pay me five dollars plus a month?
 
2012-11-07 09:06:43 PM  
It's fine if you don't ever post anything on Facebook or don't post/like controversial things. Also it helps if you don't lie to your boss about why miss work then post on Facebook the real thing you were doing that day. All of these things are within your control.
 
2012-11-07 09:07:19 PM  
Because of the place where I work, I have two different Facebook profiles. One is a professional one that I can connect with patients and their families and be a normal, productive member of society. My boss knows about this one and has no problem with it.

My friends/family profile is the one where I can post whatever I feel like posting, and the "privacy" settings are set to friends only. The last thing I want is my professional life mixing with my personal life. Those people don't need to know how liberal I am, what I think about pop culture, or how bad those shiatheads at the bus stop for work piss me off.
 
2012-11-07 09:07:24 PM  
Just stick him on the sanitized list you should already have and up and running for your older relatives and all that.
 
2012-11-07 09:07:39 PM  
Not recently, but my last boss I knew since my first day on the job. He would comment on my status more than anyone. It was alright.
 
2012-11-07 09:08:02 PM  
I don't friend anyone who I work with. Ex-coworkers are ok though
 
2012-11-07 09:08:53 PM  

gingerjet: Indubitably: How do you deny your boss' friend request?

By ignoring it.

/is that really that hard?


Yes squared.

In an environment of boundary violation daily, how do you establish effective, real, professional boundaries?

Perhaps more poignant: how do you defend them?

Depends.
 
2012-11-07 09:09:09 PM  
I've denied family members.. So yeah, sure as shiat I'll deny a boss too.. fark em.. I post awful shiat and know it.
 
2012-11-07 09:09:21 PM  
The only reason I opened a Facebook acct was for doing a blog at work so my boss was the first one on my page. Now, not so long after I'm looking for another job but I don't want her to know. I'd love to grumble about things at work- I cannot. I can't Wait for the day I have another job so I can "unfriend"!

Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it!
 
2012-11-07 09:09:54 PM  
For me, it was fine. My boss had no problem with the shiat I posted on my wall and likely had worse posted on hers. It probably depends on what kind of rapport you have with your boss.
 
2012-11-07 09:10:01 PM  

gingerjet: Indubitably: How do you deny your boss' friend request?

By ignoring it.

/is that really that hard?


This.
 
2012-11-07 09:10:47 PM  
I'm friends with my boss, but then we party together so it's probably cool.
 
2012-11-07 09:11:08 PM  

HotIgneous Intruder: gingerjet: Indubitably: How do you deny your boss' friend request?

By ignoring it.

/is that really that hard?

This.


How big is your community, friends?
 
2012-11-07 09:11:50 PM  
Well, are you friends with your boss?

Seriously, are you friends with your boss, or are you just another person passing through his little slice of a cost center before your or he moves on to other things?
 
2012-11-07 09:12:38 PM  
No big, we all get along in the office, and I even work for a Fortune 500. Makes work suck a lot less when you all get along.

/lucky I guess.
 
2012-11-07 09:13:03 PM  

HotIgneous Intruder: gingerjet: Indubitably: How do you deny your boss' friend request?

By ignoring it.

/is that really that hard?

This.


Next day in the morning. "O HAI Intruder, did you finish the report I asked? Oh, and why haven't you accepted my friend request?" AWKWARD!
 
2012-11-07 09:13:06 PM  

gingerjet: Indubitably: How do you deny your boss' friend request?

By ignoring it.

/is that really that hard?


sometimes but she is kind of cute

i'll rape their servers posting boobs on the fark but I won't accept a friend request
 
2012-11-07 09:13:09 PM  

Indubitably: gingerjet: Indubitably: How do you deny your boss' friend request?

By ignoring it.

/is that really that hard?

Yes squared.

In an environment of boundary violation daily, how do you establish effective, real, professional boundaries?

Perhaps more poignant: how do you defend them?

Depends.


Never tell them your Facebook email. If they look for you by name, ignore them. If they ask why you're ignoring them, ask "Are you stalking me?!" in the most offended tone you can manage.
 
2012-11-07 09:13:53 PM  
Was FB friends with my boss before he became my boss, would be a little strange to unfriend him now. Not too worried about it though, I tend to steer clear of posting anything potentially damaging on there
 
2012-11-07 09:14:38 PM  
"Ferris Bueller's Day Off" would be two minutes long if it came out today.

Or it would be a Law and Order:SVU episode after Ed Rooney got busted for sending Ferris pics of his dong.
 
2012-11-07 09:15:27 PM  
Once your boss accepts your friend request, be sure to post about how much you hate your job and can't wait to get home to do a line of coke.
 
2012-11-07 09:16:19 PM  
No boss, no coworkers, no former coworkers or bosses that might be needed as witnesses or references, and absolutely NO friending of any family member who is loved dearly but has a right leaning pudding brain. On the other hand, friending people that were idiots in high school so that I can see them complain about how crappy their lives are now and get all butt hurt over my politics is FUN.
 
2012-11-07 09:16:37 PM  
Have you seen my recent post about healthy boundaries?
 
2012-11-07 09:16:52 PM  
Maybe you should have bosses as cool as me. My employees have friended me, and I love seeing what they're up to and thinking. Sometimes I comment, most times I don't.

I feel like it gives us a chance to get to really understand each other, and none of them seem to be sociopaths, at least as far as I can tell from their posting. That's a good thing.

Since I started doing this, I've begun requiring they write at least one post a day about anything they feel like. It could be about what they're eating for lunch or ways they think the company could be improved. We're always on the lookout for ways to do things better around here.

I also encourage the employees to send friend requests to each other, though this isn't a rule yet. We're all in this together, so adding another means of communication is useful. Some people are shy and can't express themselves in person, so the chance to share online via Facebook is pretty great for them.
 
2012-11-07 09:17:48 PM  
Take the time to learn about Facebook's filters and lists. You can post your degraded sex details/pictures to the people you want to show it, and the general "Happy whatever holiday, friends" nonsense to everyone else. As far as your boss/parents/people you don't want to share with know, you're just not a big Facebook user.

Oh, and get your friends to post "friends only" at the very least, as well. We all have that asshole friend who's posts are "Everyone", and when you comment on their keg stand picture, your friends see it.

Learn the system, game the system.
 
2012-11-07 09:18:32 PM  
I have a simple policy: I friend NOBODY from work, NONE of my students. The only student exception is one who was my student back in the mid '90s and found me on FB in about 2010. I figure fifteen years is enough buffer time. But I keep my FB existence virtually totally separate from my work existence. And I keep both of them rigorously separate from dahmers love zombie.
 
2012-11-07 09:18:57 PM  
How about don't be a 16yr old girl and stay off Facebook?
 
2012-11-07 09:19:33 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Maybe you should have bosses as cool as me. My employees have friended me, and I love seeing what they're up to and thinking. Sometimes I comment, most times I don't.

I feel like it gives us a chance to get to really understand each other, and none of them seem to be sociopaths, at least as far as I can tell from their posting. That's a good thing.

Since I started doing this, I've begun requiring they write at least one post a day about anything they feel like. It could be about what they're eating for lunch or ways they think the company could be improved. We're always on the lookout for ways to do things better around here.

I also encourage the employees to send friend requests to each other, though this isn't a rule yet. We're all in this together, so adding another means of communication is useful. Some people are shy and can't express themselves in person, so the chance to share online via Facebook is pretty great for them.


"Require?"
 
2012-11-07 09:19:42 PM  

CreativeFarkHandle: For me, it was fine. My boss had no problem with the shiat I posted on my wall and likely had worse posted on hers. It probably depends on what kind of rapport you have with your boss.


Same here. Also my boss is one of my best friends and we go out and party damn near every two weeks when we get paid. If you've got a great boss, what you put on FB doesn't matter. Now HR personnel on the other hand.......................
 
2012-11-07 09:20:15 PM  
I'm on G+ and several of my employees invited me to circles. I almost never circle them, because I am aware of that boundary, but I will if they initiate it.

I don't see many posts from them. I suspect I'm in the "NO PARTY PICS" circle.

/long story short: g+ gives you much more control over posting stupid shiat your boss can see
 
2012-11-07 09:20:33 PM  

PillsHere: It's fine if you don't ever post anything on Facebook or don't post/like controversial things. Also it helps if you don't lie to your boss about why miss work then post on Facebook the real thing you were doing that day. All of these things are within your control.


At the police department I work for, we had a young female officer, fresh out of the Academy. She was still on her one-year probationary period, but was doing pretty good. Nice girl, a little naive, always kinda wondered why she became a cop.

She'd added a lot of her Academy class to her Facebook, and had apparently added her supervisor as well. This would be what you'd call a career-ending decision.

Well, she had this dream of being a country music star. I'd remembered that she was fond of pulling out her guitar a few times during the Academy, singing some random song she'd written (honestly, she was about as good as that random guy in the dorm stairwell in college strumming his guitar, nothing memorable, maybe could be fixed with a shiatload of autotune). Well, after years of getting nowhere, she'd finally, at long last, started to get offered some singing gigs.

Well, two problems, she was second-shift and singing some place in the evening would conflict with her schedule. Also, the department has a policy that sworn officers aren't allowed outside employment without prior permission (and you can't get that permission if you're still on probation).

Apparently she'd get a gig confirmed on fairly short notice, call in sick to work, and go and perform at some bar or club. She'd then post about it on Facebook, complete with shots of her on stage, as she was trying to use FB to promote herself as a rising country music singer.

Yeah, they kind of had a problem with her, still on probation, calling in sick to work to go do paid singing gigs at local nightspots. Lady cop that secretly moonlights as a country music star might be an interesting concept for a tv show or something (redneck Hannah Montana?), but it makes for a lousy real-life situation.

She was called in to the Captain's office, where her Sergeant and Captain said they knew all about her lying when she had called in sick many times, they even had her FB page pulled up in the office for evidence. She was out of sick time, and had been having to charge her absences to vacation time, which was almost out too, her attendance had become a serious issue. They basically told her she would have to choose one career or the other. They expected her to just give up on the singing on the side.

She turned her badge and gun in on the spot. By the end of the day she'd dropped off a few cardboard boxes with her bulletproof vest, duty belt, uniforms, and all her various department property. I don't know how her career is doing now, but the whole thing just seemed ridiculously dumb on so many levels.
 
2012-11-07 09:21:48 PM  
Friending your boss is a teachable moment, because, friending them is pretty dumb.
 
2012-11-07 09:22:05 PM  
Onec you friended them youcan never unfriend. Unfriend = Unjob
 
2012-11-07 09:22:30 PM  
Oh hell no! But only because she would make dumb comments on all my pictures and posts.
 
2012-11-07 09:23:04 PM  
Accept the request and firewall them off. Put them in a separate group and limit what that group sees.
 
2012-11-07 09:23:10 PM  
Friending your boss is probably every bit as stupid as submitting a link to the last page in an article.

Brilliant, Subby.
 
2012-11-07 09:23:31 PM  

Silverstaff: PillsHere: It's fine if you don't ever post anything on Facebook or don't post/like controversial things. Also it helps if you don't lie to your boss about why miss work then post on Facebook the real thing you were doing that day. All of these things are within your control.

At the police department I work for, we had a young female officer, fresh out of the Academy. She was still on her one-year probationary period, but was doing pretty good. Nice girl, a little naive, always kinda wondered why she became a cop.

She'd added a lot of her Academy class to her Facebook, and had apparently added her supervisor as well. This would be what you'd call a career-ending decision.

Well, she had this dream of being a country music star. I'd remembered that she was fond of pulling out her guitar a few times during the Academy, singing some random song she'd written (honestly, she was about as good as that random guy in the dorm stairwell in college strumming his guitar, nothing memorable, maybe could be fixed with a shiatload of autotune). Well, after years of getting nowhere, she'd finally, at long last, started to get offered some singing gigs.

Well, two problems, she was second-shift and singing some place in the evening would conflict with her schedule. Also, the department has a policy that sworn officers aren't allowed outside employment without prior permission (and you can't get that permission if you're still on probation).

Apparently she'd get a gig confirmed on fairly short notice, call in sick to work, and go and perform at some bar or club. She'd then post about it on Facebook, complete with shots of her on stage, as she was trying to use FB to promote herself as a rising country music singer.

Yeah, they kind of had a problem with her, still on probation, calling in sick to work to go do paid singing gigs at local nightspots. Lady cop that secretly moonlights as a country music star might be an interesting concept for a tv show or something (rednec ...


To posit...
 
2012-11-07 09:24:17 PM  
This happens to me. My boss and I are FB friends but I don't rant about work. I do however get to see the people we supervise (small town, you hire friends) biatch about work and sometimes I feel the need to gently remind them who all can see that. I don't mind venting, but there are limits.

Staying off Facebook and not having a profile is the best choice. Facebook is the devil.
 
2012-11-07 09:24:22 PM  
For those of you who want to risk it... 

mankindunplugged.com
 
2012-11-07 09:24:51 PM  

Silverstaff: PillsHere: It's fine if you don't ever post anything on Facebook or don't post/like controversial things. Also it helps if you don't lie to your boss about why miss work then post on Facebook the real thing you were doing that day. All of these things are within your control.

At the police department I work for, we had a young female officer, fresh out of the Academy. She was still on her one-year probationary period, but was doing pretty good. Nice girl, a little naive, always kinda wondered why she became a cop.

She'd added a lot of her Academy class to her Facebook, and had apparently added her supervisor as well. This would be what you'd call a career-ending decision.

Well, she had this dream of being a country music star. I'd remembered that she was fond of pulling out her guitar a few times during the Academy, singing some random song she'd written (honestly, she was about as good as that random guy in the dorm stairwell in college strumming his guitar, nothing memorable, maybe could be fixed with a shiatload of autotune). Well, after years of getting nowhere, she'd finally, at long last, started to get offered some singing gigs.

Well, two problems, she was second-shift and singing some place in the evening would conflict with her schedule. Also, the department has a policy that sworn officers aren't allowed outside employment without prior permission (and you can't get that permission if you're still on probation).

Apparently she'd get a gig confirmed on fairly short notice, call in sick to work, and go and perform at some bar or club. She'd then post about it on Facebook, complete with shots of her on stage, as she was trying to use FB to promote herself as a rising country music singer.

Yeah, they kind of had a problem with her, still on probation, calling in sick to work to go do paid singing gigs at local nightspots. Lady cop that secretly moonlights as a country music star might be an interesting concept for a tv show or something (rednec ...


I really don't have a problem with someone who can't follow rules not being a cop. I wonder why they let it go on so long that she used all her sick leave, though, and still offered her a choice in the matter rather than sending her off to the other career post haste. Oh, right, public employee unions. Never mind.
 
2012-11-07 09:25:17 PM  

Indubitably: Silverstaff: PillsHere: It's fine if you don't ever post anything on Facebook or don't post/like controversial things. Also it helps if you don't lie to your boss about why miss work then post on Facebook the real thing you were doing that day. All of these things are within your control.

At the police department I work for, we had a young female officer, fresh out of the Academy. She was still on her one-year probationary period, but was doing pretty good. Nice girl, a little naive, always kinda wondered why she became a cop.

She'd added a lot of her Academy class to her Facebook, and had apparently added her supervisor as well. This would be what you'd call a career-ending decision.

Well, she had this dream of being a country music star. I'd remembered that she was fond of pulling out her guitar a few times during the Academy, singing some random song she'd written (honestly, she was about as good as that random guy in the dorm stairwell in college strumming his guitar, nothing memorable, maybe could be fixed with a shiatload of autotune). Well, after years of getting nowhere, she'd finally, at long last, started to get offered some singing gigs.

Well, two problems, she was second-shift and singing some place in the evening would conflict with her schedule. Also, the department has a policy that sworn officers aren't allowed outside employment without prior permission (and you can't get that permission if you're still on probation).

Apparently she'd get a gig confirmed on fairly short notice, call in sick to work, and go and perform at some bar or club. She'd then post about it on Facebook, complete with shots of her on stage, as she was trying to use FB to promote herself as a rising country music singer.

Yeah, they kind of had a problem with her, still on probation, calling in sick to work to go do paid singing gigs at local nightspots. Lady cop that secretly moonlights as a country music star might be an interesting concept for a tv show or some ...


P.S. I don't Face other than to own one in my name. Word.
 
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