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(Slate)   Let the butthurt begin: The Five Stages of Fox News Grief   (slate.com) divider line 249
    More: Amusing, Fox News  
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8961 clicks; posted to Politics » on 07 Nov 2012 at 10:14 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-07 10:29:21 AM  

GoldSpider: Want to be relevant again, GOP? Do these things:

1. Cut out the cancer that is the Tea Party* and the extreme Religious Right.
2. Get practical on immigration*.
3. Embrace ending the War on Drugs like never before. It's Small Government(tm) that can make inroads with minorities*.
4. Stop pretending that the rich are unduly burdened by historically low taxes.

* - Vigorously marginalize any potentially racist elements, at all costs.


That would be great, but Jesus won't let them. He has a plan, you see...
 
2012-11-07 10:29:51 AM  

CPennypacker: skullkrusher: CPennypacker: I couldn't take it last night. I was switching like mad. CNN had the cool map. FOX news was like a comedy routine. MSNBC had Rachel. Click, click, click!

Fox's graphics were FOOKED. I was going between MSNBC and FNC and I literally had no idea what was going on when I watched Fox. It wasn't a deliberate propaganda thing or anything, they just couldn't get their shiat together in terms of displaying info

Agreed. The bottom half of the screen was a cluster fark


whatevs, BO's speech was nothing short of inspirational. Honestly, no sarcasm there. I am not a huge fan of the guy but that was an amazing bit of rhetoric. I was also wasted but if I watch it again, I bet I get the same USA! USA! feel
 
2012-11-07 10:30:16 AM  
weknowmemes.com
 
2012-11-07 10:30:48 AM  

GoldSpider: Want to be relevant again, GOP? Do these things:

1. Cut out the cancer that is the Tea Party* and the extreme Religious Right.
2. Get practical on immigration*.
3. Embrace ending the War on Drugs like never before. It's Small Government(tm) that can make inroads with minorities*.
4. Stop pretending that the rich are unduly burdened by historically low taxes.

* - Vigorously marginalize any potentially racist elements, at all costs.


Stop talking about rape.
 
2012-11-07 10:30:53 AM  
CNN's coverage was ridiculous. They just refused to call states for Democrats when all republican precincts were in and Dem were still reporting, but Obama was up.

it got so bad that they ended up calling it for Obama when their map had only like 200 votes for him. And i'm sure they did it because Fox just called it.

The best part of the CNN campaign was them showing some major US cities celebrating... Chicago, New York, Boston.... KENYA!!!!!


i'll never watch that partisan hackery after a random clip of people dancing in Kenya after they called it Obama.
 
2012-11-07 10:31:25 AM  
Unskewedpolls hasn't changed. I hope Dean Chambers is ok. I'm honestly worried about him and his family.
 
2012-11-07 10:31:26 AM  

skullkrusher: CPennypacker: I couldn't take it last night. I was switching like mad. CNN had the cool map. FOX news was like a comedy routine. MSNBC had Rachel. Click, click, click!

Fox's graphics were FOOKED. I was going between MSNBC and FNC and I literally had no idea what was going on when I watched Fox. It wasn't a deliberate propaganda thing or anything, they just couldn't get their shiat together in terms of displaying info


So you're saying Fox isn't evil, just retarded?

/pandering to the lowest common denominator will do that to ya
 
2012-11-07 10:32:28 AM  

CPennypacker: skullkrusher: CPennypacker: I couldn't take it last night. I was switching like mad. CNN had the cool map. FOX news was like a comedy routine. MSNBC had Rachel. Click, click, click!

Fox's graphics were FOOKED. I was going between MSNBC and FNC and I literally had no idea what was going on when I watched Fox. It wasn't a deliberate propaganda thing or anything, they just couldn't get their shiat together in terms of displaying info

Agreed. The bottom half of the screen was a cluster fark


It looked like Fox Business Channel usually does.
 
2012-11-07 10:32:35 AM  

what_now: This is the best possible thing that could happen to Fox. Now they can have four more years of riling up your grandmother.


You gotta admit, Bullshiat Mountain's eruption is nothing less than glorious.
 
2012-11-07 10:32:43 AM  

Sasquatchuan: Krauthammer is a psychiatrist? Has he ever attempted to self-diagnose?


You can trust the average psych degree holder to be significantly messed up. Most, ime, use their knowledge to in some way overcome their problems.

/has a psych degree
 
2012-11-07 10:33:02 AM  

Sasquatchuan: Krauthammer is a psychiatrist? Has he ever attempted to self-diagnose?


Yeah: Paraplegic.
 
2012-11-07 10:33:10 AM  
Seriously I haven't seen one of the derp squad yet,and its making me a sad panda. Need me my morning lols to wash away the hangover.
 
2012-11-07 10:33:27 AM  
Karl Rove being escorted from the Fox News Studio:
cdn.obrag.org
 
2012-11-07 10:33:36 AM  

Anti_illuminati: skullkrusher: CPennypacker: I couldn't take it last night. I was switching like mad. CNN had the cool map. FOX news was like a comedy routine. MSNBC had Rachel. Click, click, click!

Fox's graphics were FOOKED. I was going between MSNBC and FNC and I literally had no idea what was going on when I watched Fox. It wasn't a deliberate propaganda thing or anything, they just couldn't get their shiat together in terms of displaying info

So you're saying Fox isn't evil, just retarded?

/pandering to the lowest common denominator will do that to ya


I was amazed at how bad it was
 
2012-11-07 10:33:54 AM  
Want to save the GOP? Become fiscally conservative, but moderate on social issues. That's all people really want.
 
2012-11-07 10:33:55 AM  
This is pretty much exactly what I was thinking when watching Fox News (post-Ohio) last night. I particularly liked Krauthammer's "As a psychiatrist, I'll write you prescriptions for whatever drugs you want" comment, and Megyn Kelly's classic "Well, as a lawyer, I'd advise you not to do that" followup.

i.imgur.com
 
2012-11-07 10:34:13 AM  
Rove is in a world of hurt right now. The big Conservative Moneybaggers gave him millions to buy them the election..

www.slate.com

AND HE FAILED!

/you know the ringer on his cell phone is set to OFF right now!
 
2012-11-07 10:34:31 AM  

Nucleus: You just dismantled every defining character of the republican party. If you did those things there would be nothing left to pick up the pieces.


AcneVulgaris: That would be great, but Jesus won't let them. He has a plan, you see...


The GOP needs to forcefully eject the social conservatives into a separate party. Yes, they will lose a lot of elections while waiting for the aging remnants to die off, but the divergent viewpoints that occupy the single political brain make it incapable of functioning properly in its current form.
 
2012-11-07 10:35:09 AM  

NateGrey: Glenn Beck is having a funeral on the radio right now.

lol


Mike Gallagher's talking about...crack on the streets, and how Sarah Palin needs to run in 2016 and that the establishment screwed the GOP and tea party by nominating a bad candidate.

In between radio ads for gun and ammo stores.

...and now he's talking about how the red states should secede. I shiat you not.
 
2012-11-07 10:35:17 AM  

zappaisfrank: Rove is in a world of hurt right now. The big Conservative Moneybaggers gave him millions to buy them the election..

[www.slate.com image 568x299]

AND HE FAILED!

/you know the ringer on his cell phone is set to OFF right now!


I'm sure that enough of those millions ended up in Karl's pocket that he isn't too worried.
 
2012-11-07 10:35:20 AM  
It was a lovely evening....watching live as reality crashed in on a world view that previously ignored all facts that didn't fit their narrative
 
2012-11-07 10:35:32 AM  

Ess_Aytch: Want to save the GOP? Become fiscally conservative, but moderate on social issues. That's all people really want.


sounds so simple yet so difficult in practice for some reason
 
2012-11-07 10:35:33 AM  

tforbes: CNN's coverage was ridiculous. They just refused to call states for Democrats when all republican precincts were in and Dem were still reporting, but Obama was up.

it got so bad that they ended up calling it for Obama when their map had only like 200 votes for him. And i'm sure they did it because Fox just called it.

The best part of the CNN campaign was them showing some major US cities celebrating... Chicago, New York, Boston.... KENYA!!!!!


i'll never watch that partisan hackery after a random clip of people dancing in Kenya after they called it Obama.


Didn't CNN get majorly burned by calling some states/races too early one year? Was it '00/Florida? Seems like there's a reason they're so skittish.
 
2012-11-07 10:37:26 AM  

Sasquatchuan: Krauthammer is a psychiatrist? Has he ever attempted to self-diagnose?


My guess?: self-delusional & neurotic (emphasis on the neurotic)

/ par for the course for these neo-conservative types...
 
2012-11-07 10:37:36 AM  

zappaisfrank: Rove is in a world of hurt right now. The big Conservative Moneybaggers gave him millions to buy them the election..


Angus King's acceptance speech had a couple zinger's pointed Karl's way. Hilarious.

I swear he single-handedly farked the conservatives in this state for going after Angus.
 
2012-11-07 10:38:26 AM  

Forbidden Doughnut: Sasquatchuan: Krauthammer is a psychiatrist? Has he ever attempted to self-diagnose?

My guess?: self-delusional & neurotic (emphasis on the neurotic)

/ par for the course for these neo-conservative types...


kudos for using "neo-conservative" correctly. Krauthammer is a neo-con. Every conservative ever in the world is not, necessarily
 
2012-11-07 10:38:38 AM  

DamnYankees: I missed this whole thing last night - I'll have to catch the mash-up.


It was a mess.

Many of them really are still in the denial stage.

I'm on the road for work, and at the little diner we've been eating at, I overheard a couple of older gentlemen discussing the election, and one couldn't believe how many states went red while Obama still managed more electoral votes, and the other one was still holding out hope that Romney would at least squeak out an popular vote win when everything was counted.

//I'm in Cortland, NY at the moment, voted by mail in Oregon a while ago, before I even knew I was heading out east.
 
2012-11-07 10:38:51 AM  
Glenn is now opening up the BLAZE to Investors...

you wont get a vote, but you can invest..

please give me money... because your gona lose it in taxes very soon.
 
2012-11-07 10:39:00 AM  
Over/under 3 weeks before some R House/Senate member talks on camera using the I word....
 
2012-11-07 10:39:04 AM  

that bosnian sniper: Mike Gallagher's talking about...crack on the streets, and how Sarah Palin needs to run in 2016 and that the establishment screwed the GOP and tea party by nominating a bad candidate.

In between radio ads for gun and ammo stores.

...and now he's talking about how the red states should secede. I shiat you not.


I can see it now, "The Free States of Oklatexakansazona"
 
2012-11-07 10:39:54 AM  
Shortly before the race is called, Sarah Palin says an Obama victory would be a "catastrophic setback to our economy"

Someone hasn't been paying attention to how the economy has been trending........last time there was a "catastrophic setback to our economy" it wasn't a Democrat at the helm.
 
2012-11-07 10:40:13 AM  

skullkrusher: CPennypacker: skullkrusher: CPennypacker: I couldn't take it last night. I was switching like mad. CNN had the cool map. FOX news was like a comedy routine. MSNBC had Rachel. Click, click, click!

Fox's graphics were FOOKED. I was going between MSNBC and FNC and I literally had no idea what was going on when I watched Fox. It wasn't a deliberate propaganda thing or anything, they just couldn't get their shiat together in terms of displaying info

Agreed. The bottom half of the screen was a cluster fark

whatevs, BO's speech was nothing short of inspirational. Honestly, no sarcasm there. I am not a huge fan of the guy but that was an amazing bit of rhetoric. I was also wasted but if I watch it again, I bet I get the same USA! USA! feel



That's because he was using a teleprompter.
 
2012-11-07 10:40:26 AM  

skullkrusher: Fox's graphics were FOOKED.


You don't say:

i.huffpost.com
 
2012-11-07 10:40:28 AM  

skullkrusher: Ess_Aytch: Want to save the GOP? Become fiscally conservative, but moderate on social issues. That's all people really want.

sounds so simple yet so difficult in practice for some reason


a lot of people in the republican party are not socially moderate, that's all there is to it.
 
2012-11-07 10:41:09 AM  
I almost died laughing watching fox last night. Karl was in full panic mode, and it was glorious.
 
2012-11-07 10:41:15 AM  

tforbes: i'll never watch that partisan hackery after a random clip of people dancing in Kenya after they called it Obama.


CNN isn't partisan, they're just stupid. They just desperately wanted to keep giving out exciting updates so people wouldn't tune out or go to bed long after it was obvious Romney was being destroyed in every swing state.
 
2012-11-07 10:42:28 AM  
 
2012-11-07 10:42:59 AM  
I never ever watch Fox except for last night after it was clear Obama won. What a freak show. Angry blonde woman being snarky to the stats guy and Roce, Rove being a b*tch, stats guy being "wtf".

Then the tone was like someone had died. Followed by the inevitable but ... but ... but no mandate.

It was awesome.
 
2012-11-07 10:43:01 AM  

NateGrey: Glenn Beck is having a funeral on the radio right now.

lol


*sigh* Today is just going to be...FUN.

Rush's monologue will be especially awesome

Paging Weaver95, we need your dulcit tones to elaborate for us how close Rush is to a heart attack stat~!
 
2012-11-07 10:43:49 AM  
As soon as NBC called it, I switched over to Fox News (they called it two minutes later). That was probably the most awkward half-hour I've ever seen. Megyn yelling "too close!" at a cameraman, and the head guys in the decision room smiling at her, while explaining how Romney just lost Ohio.

Priceless.
 
2012-11-07 10:43:54 AM  

skullkrusher: Forbidden Doughnut: Sasquatchuan: Krauthammer is a psychiatrist? Has he ever attempted to self-diagnose?

My guess?: self-delusional & neurotic (emphasis on the neurotic)

/ par for the course for these neo-conservative types...

kudos for using "neo-conservative" correctly. Krauthammer is a neo-con. Every conservative ever in the world is not, necessarily


Indeed. IMHO, the Tea Party, Fundamentalist "Christians", and Neo-Conservatives have all helped to drag the Republican Party into the Abyss. As other FARKERs have said, it will take them years to climb out of this ( if ever )
 
2012-11-07 10:44:23 AM  
I dunno about butthurt: Shep Smith looked pretty smirky the whole night. Although it was sort of a subdued holy-crap-don't-smirk smirk.
 
2012-11-07 10:44:34 AM  
Best part of all this Republicans spent millions of their own money on losers.

A fool and their money.
 
2012-11-07 10:44:40 AM  

bdub77: Or:
[i.imgur.com image 568x299]


And we have a winnah~!
 
2012-11-07 10:44:57 AM  

Vegan Meat Popsicle: tforbes: i'll never watch that partisan hackery after a random clip of people dancing in Kenya after they called it Obama.

CNN isn't partisan, they're just stupid. They just desperately wanted to keep giving out exciting updates so people wouldn't tune out or go to bed long after it was obvious Romney was being destroyed in every swing state.


It was pretty obvious that John King just couldn't understand why they weren't calling Florida. He kept pointing out that all the Republican areas had reported 100%, and that all of the outstanding votes were in heavily Democratic area. He was getting pretty frustrated sounding after a while.
 
2012-11-07 10:46:28 AM  

Ess_Aytch: Want to save the GOP? Become fiscally conservative, but moderate on social issues. That's all people really want.


www.billslater.com

And how! 

/this is what the GOP used to be and what Democrats are now
 
2012-11-07 10:46:53 AM  
Just for Karl and Charles:

i.imgur.com
 
2012-11-07 10:46:56 AM  

Rwa2play: *sigh* Today is just going to be...FUN.


shiat it already is.
 
2012-11-07 10:46:58 AM  
For someone who only ever watches Fox News and is told how it was in the bag for Romney by Rove, Dick Morris, etc. I can only imagine the confusion as the results came in last night. Like some nightmare they couldn't wake from. Glorious.

And Karl Rove. Turd Blossom himself, purveyor of the long game for the Republican machine, forced to be very much in the moment and utterly small by trying to keep that false reality flickering for a few moments more as Ohio was being called for Obama. You lose! You get nothing! Good day, sir!
 
2012-11-07 10:48:32 AM  

skullkrusher: CPennypacker: I couldn't take it last night. I was switching like mad. CNN had the cool map. FOX news was like a comedy routine. MSNBC had Rachel. Click, click, click!

Fox's graphics were FOOKED. I was going between MSNBC and FNC and I literally had no idea what was going on when I watched Fox. It wasn't a deliberate propaganda thing or anything, they just couldn't get their shiat together in terms of displaying info


This was one of the first things I posted on FB about the election last night. NBC News/MSNBC looked professional while Fox News looked totally amateur. Absolutely no information hierarchy, designed exclusively for standard-def and using dated, 90's style design (cut corners, bevels, etc).
 
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