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(UPI)   Three men try to rob Chinese restaurant but can't make themselves understood by employees. You go now   (upi.com ) divider line
    More: Florida, Chinese restaurant, Chinese, electronic voting  
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9278 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Nov 2012 at 9:44 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



87 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2012-11-07 09:45:05 AM  
You eat vegetable
 
2012-11-07 09:46:11 AM  
No English, my ass. Good job, Chinamen.
 
2012-11-07 09:48:04 AM  
www.eventimagecenter.com
 
2012-11-07 09:48:50 AM  
Awesome headline
 
2012-11-07 09:48:58 AM  
Rucky chinamen.
 
2012-11-07 09:51:40 AM  
You here 4 hour!!!!!
 
2012-11-07 09:51:51 AM  
chinesedishnamerelatingtoarticle.jpeg
 
2012-11-07 09:52:38 AM  
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-11-07 09:55:36 AM  
Their failure must have left them very hot and sour.
 
2012-11-07 09:57:56 AM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-11-07 09:58:20 AM  
You so big.
 
2012-11-07 09:59:27 AM  
some good prison reading for them:

"Dark Spots on the Wall" by Hu Flung Dung
 
2012-11-07 09:59:28 AM  
Obviously absent.

i465.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-07 09:59:38 AM  
Was on the scene:

cghm.org
 
2012-11-07 10:01:05 AM  
I have a gub

seattle98.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-11-07 10:02:01 AM  

Kerr Avon: Obviously absent.

[i465.photobucket.com image 683x1024]


"San Francisco cocksucker!"

"Swangen!"
 
2012-11-07 10:02:37 AM  
Wonder about the wisdom of a stick-up in a place that employs gentlemen adroit with sharp knives and heavy cleavers.
Then again, stickup man isn't on the Mensa employment list.

i.qkme.me
 
2012-11-07 10:02:44 AM  
bbsimg.ngfiles.com
 
2012-11-07 10:04:45 AM  
i.imgur.com
We all look alike to them.
 
2012-11-07 10:07:32 AM  
Now dat ownge cheeken! Unbereavabuh!
 
2012-11-07 10:09:51 AM  
We close now, you go.

On a serious note though, language barrier or not, in what country does 3 guys waving guns and banging on the cash register NOT mean a robbery?
 
2012-11-07 10:14:19 AM  

这是一个抢劫

 
2012-11-07 10:15:10 AM  
Ancient Chinese secret, eh?
 
2012-11-07 10:16:09 AM  
I'm sure they play the same "No speaky engrish" when it's time to pay their taxes.
 
2012-11-07 10:18:32 AM  

vudukungfu: 这是一个抢劫


Some of the results from google, + tralation, I give 5 points to "God Strategy"

I was a robbery committed, this is my story - radish network,
Elderly for pension deliberately robbery imprisonment: This is a sad story
"God strategy," and the body of the seventy-third robbery a career
 
2012-11-07 10:20:03 AM  
Missed this one

Robbery escape broke his leg stolen money into hospital charges

4 Points.
 
2012-11-07 10:22:26 AM  
Never rob a Chinese kitchen.

This is the best thing that could have happened to the robbers.

They were smart not to escalate.
 
2012-11-07 10:24:47 AM  
And thennnn....
 
2012-11-07 10:24:57 AM  

IsNoGood: vudukungfu: 这是一个抢劫

Some of the results from google, + tralation, I give 5 points to "God Strategy"

I was a robbery committed, this is my story - radish network,
Elderly for pension deliberately robbery imprisonment: This is a sad story
"God strategy," and the body of the seventy-third robbery a career


Yeah yeah, just pull that out of your fortune cookie and whip out a pair of numchunks*, and they'll comply.

*that's how my redneck cousin says it.
 
2012-11-07 10:26:32 AM  

Enemabag Jones: Never rob a Chinese kitchen.

.


There is one near my job that has a lady so mean behind the counter, I don't even go in to buy lunch.
And you don't need to know Chinese to know what she is saying about your order to the cooks.
 
2012-11-07 10:27:37 AM  
You got beef?
 
2012-11-07 10:32:57 AM  
YOUR FOOD READY. YOUR FOOD READY TEN FIVE MINUTE.

Says the place near me.
 
2012-11-07 10:35:07 AM  
I'm pretty sure they were faking just to frustrate the robbers.
 
2012-11-07 10:35:32 AM  
A police dog led officers to a car and three men were detained, but not officially arrested.

Not officially arrested = "We found three dudes that look like the guys we're after.. but we're not sure they're them... so that's an detaining"

...they must be guilty of SOMETHING, right?
 
2012-11-07 10:36:16 AM  
Did they confuse them with the Asian Penis Gambit?

Chinese have tiny Asian penises, smaller than Japs. You have big European penises. You must go. We have no room for your big European penises in our tiny Chinese restaurant. We feel bad, no can make Tiger Dong soup with giant European penises in restaurant.
 
2012-11-07 10:36:33 AM  
Nice job subby. I lol'd

/that's racist
 
2012-11-07 10:37:29 AM  

walkerhound: [www.eventimagecenter.com image 300x180]


Beat me.

"You been here four hour!"

/laughed so hard
 
2012-11-07 10:37:32 AM  

weapon13: We close now, you go.

On a serious note though, language barrier or not, in what country does 3 guys waving guns and banging on the cash register NOT mean a robbery?


Actually that is the international symbol for number 7 with snow peas.
 
2012-11-07 10:39:44 AM  
vudukungfu
Enemabag Jones: Never rob a Chinese kitchen.
There is one near my job that has a lady so mean behind the counter, I don't even go in to buy lunch. And you don't need to know Chinese to know what she is saying about your order to the cooks.


Don't be afraid of a Chinese hostess being slightly aggressive rude...be afraid of a Chinese hostess being too nice.
 
2012-11-07 10:44:36 AM  

Enemabag Jones: vudukungfu
Enemabag Jones: Never rob a Chinese kitchen.
There is one near my job that has a lady so mean behind the counter, I don't even go in to buy lunch. And you don't need to know Chinese to know what she is saying about your order to the cooks.

Don't be afraid of a Chinese hostess being slightly aggressive rude...be afraid of a Chinese hostess being too nice.


//// this...
 
2012-11-07 10:45:58 AM  
For those of you who don't get it, allow us to educate you.

Chinese Buffet!

/You scare my wife!
 
2012-11-07 10:46:55 AM  
So...they had the urge to rob again a half-hour later?
 
2012-11-07 10:50:25 AM  
i50.tinypic.com

"i just do eyes..."
 
2012-11-07 10:54:39 AM  
Then his wife said, "Why you want beef chop-suey at 2 am???"
 
2012-11-07 10:55:23 AM  
I went out to "cold tea" late one night (that's slang for after-hours liquor at a Chinese restaurant) and asked the owner for a table for three. He said, "No table for free! You pay!"
 
2012-11-07 10:55:27 AM  

uberaverage: I'm sure they play the same "No speaky engrish" when it's time to pay their taxes.


wow...there is this line see...between funny stereotyping and just whiny racist butthurt...
and you just crossed it buddy boy....

i45.tinypic.com
 
2012-11-07 10:57:19 AM  
media.giantbomb.com

Does not approve
 
2012-11-07 10:57:32 AM  
/fluctuations
 
2012-11-07 11:03:43 AM  
"How you like the spicy? Mild, medium, or large?"
 
2012-11-07 11:07:23 AM  
img.photobucket.com 

Wanted for questioning...
 
2012-11-07 11:08:32 AM  

Bob the Internet Barbarian: For those of you who don't get it, allow us to educate you.

Chinese Buffet!

/You scare my wife!


Thanks, still hope for the US unless he dead ?
 
2012-11-07 11:10:25 AM  

vudukungfu: IsNoGood: vudukungfu: 这是一个抢劫

Some of the results from google, + tralation, I give 5 points to "God Strategy"

I was a robbery committed, this is my story - radish network,
Elderly for pension deliberately robbery imprisonment: This is a sad story
"God strategy," and the body of the seventy-third robbery a career

Yeah yeah, just pull that out of your fortune cookie and whip out a pair of numchunks*, and they'll comply.

*that's how my redneck cousin says it.


Your redneck cousin sounds like a real numchunk.
 
2012-11-07 11:28:31 AM  
No tickee, no takee
 
2012-11-07 11:37:37 AM  
Damn yoo Mongorians! Stop tearing down my shiatty warr!
 
2012-11-07 11:54:09 AM  

Kerr Avon: Obviously absent.

[i465.photobucket.com image 683x1024]


Could you possibly find a bigger picture?
 
2012-11-07 11:59:14 AM  
You lobbers go home NOW! You been hear over FOUR HOUR!
 
2012-11-07 12:04:44 PM  

mr_fulano: Kerr Avon: Obviously absent.

[i465.photobucket.com image 683x1024]

Could you possibly find a bigger picture?


It's 65K in size, try selling that 1200 baud acoustic coupler you must be using, probably worth lots.
+++
 
2012-11-07 12:08:43 PM  
Neh Neh!!!


/Could listen to Mr. Pinette all day
 
2012-11-07 12:11:44 PM  

Tax Boy: [24.media.tumblr.com image 468x700]


www.hwdyk.com

I yell "Cartwright".
 
2012-11-07 12:14:31 PM  
 
2012-11-07 12:35:19 PM  

Valiente:
Your redneck cousin sounds like a real numchunk.


He's a dipshiat. thinks racism is funny and cute.
He'll find his ass out of his element some day and get it handed to him.
 
2012-11-07 12:39:15 PM  
We could rob a chinese restaurant, or go for a stroll... either way, we'll be taking a wok.

/bo
 
2012-11-07 12:45:03 PM  

Haliburton Cummings: uberaverage: I'm sure they play the same "No speaky engrish" when it's time to pay their taxes.

wow...there is this line see...between funny stereotyping and just whiny racist butthurt...
and you just crossed it buddy boy....

[i45.tinypic.com image 350x192]


There's a Chinese restaurant near my house that gives a cash discount, but the value of the discount is quite a bit larger than the interchange fee that accompanies credit-card charges. The only way this makes sense is if the discount is being given in lieu of paying taxes on that money.

/and, of course, there are a number of other Chinese restaurants around here that are strictly cash-only
 
2012-11-07 12:56:47 PM  
No "an den"!
 
2012-11-07 01:03:41 PM  
It's not that the employees couldn't speak english, it's the fact the robbers were most likely black and speaking in ebonics that made them hard to understand.
 
2012-11-07 01:04:44 PM  

mortimer_ford: No English, my ass. Good job, Chinamen.


This. I had lunch at the particular restaurant in question yesterday, so I'm getting a kick, etc..

I eat there all the time. Their English definitely isn't great but they never seem to have any trouble understanding me.
 
2012-11-07 01:07:44 PM  

jshine: Haliburton Cummings: uberaverage: I'm sure they play the same "No speaky engrish" when it's time to pay their taxes.

/and, of course, there are a number of other Chinese restaurants around here that are strictly cash-only


yeah, and the $1.50 they save bought them the BIG MANSION they live in so they have somewhere to park the rolls royce..
gimme a break Himmler...

you know, if people not paying their taxes gets your ass in a sandpaper sling, why don't you fire up your chainsaw and go take it out on the rich guy down the road who is laughing at you as opposed to the guy who came to North America to feed his family and live the north american dream who has to deal with myopic racist pricks all day...

as John Stewart said so well,

"Why is it that if you take advantage of a tax break and you're a corporation, you're a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something you need to not be hungry, you're a moocher?"

but since we're going on about the "ethnicity that don't pay taxes", what about the Italian rackets?
oh right, "they" are white looking enough not to bother anyone..
we can forget about "those guys".. if it's "white" it's alright...
oh yeah, and "they" gave us the mob. right on. and that's ALL Italians right? all italians are in the mob?
pleeease.....

you know, if you knee jerk xenophobes went after the real cancer in your country to pay what they should, you'd ALL be living well and have less time to f blame your crap on the poor.

it's that systemic racism that keeps them poor. it's why a physicist /doctor / engineer in one country becomes a cab driver the second they set foot in your backwards ass country...

it's bad enough you steal the land from the natives, then when someone else comes over and doesn't pay taxes...OH THE INDIGNANT BUTTHURT....

fark off with your David Dukes apologist garbage moran. you white folks are a minority now..get used to it.
us more cultured folks are laughing at your inability to integrate with the modern world. 

your "us and them" attitude is why you can't have anything nice.

you and your racist pal can fark off...
 
2012-11-07 01:19:16 PM  

Haliburton Cummings: jshine: Haliburton Cummings: uberaverage: I'm sure they play the same "No speaky engrish" when it's time to pay their taxes.

/and, of course, there are a number of other Chinese restaurants around here that are strictly cash-only

yeah, and the $1.50 they save bought them the BIG MANSION they live in so they have somewhere to park the rolls royce..
gimme a break Himmler...

you know, if people not paying their taxes gets your ass in a sandpaper sling, why don't you fire up your chainsaw and go take it out on the rich guy down the road who is laughing at you as opposed to the guy who came to North America to feed his family and live the north american dream who has to deal with myopic racist pricks all day...

as John Stewart said so well,

"Why is it that if you take advantage of a tax break and you're a corporation, you're a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something you need to not be hungry, you're a moocher?"

but since we're going on about the "ethnicity that don't pay taxes", what about the Italian rackets?
oh right, "they" are white looking enough not to bother anyone..
we can forget about "those guys".. if it's "white" it's alright...
oh yeah, and "they" gave us the mob. right on. and that's ALL Italians right? all italians are in the mob?
pleeease.....

you know, if you knee jerk xenophobes went after the real cancer in your country to pay what they should, you'd ALL be living well and have less time to f blame your crap on the poor.

it's that systemic racism that keeps them poor. it's why a physicist /doctor / engineer in one country becomes a cab driver the second they set foot in your backwards ass country...

it's bad enough you steal the land from the natives, then when someone else comes over and doesn't pay taxes...OH THE INDIGNANT BUTTHURT....

fark off with your David Dukes apologist garbage moran. you white folks are a minority now..get used to it.
us more cultured folks are laughing at your inability to integrate with the modern ...



/you sound indignant and butthurt.
 
2012-11-07 01:20:41 PM  
you sound like you should stop sleeping with your sister
 
2012-11-07 01:46:19 PM  
You no come here anymore...
 
2012-11-07 01:46:56 PM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-07 01:49:57 PM  

Haliburton Cummings: jshine: Haliburton Cummings: uberaverage: I'm sure they play the same "No speaky engrish" when it's time to pay their taxes.

/and, of course, there are a number of other Chinese restaurants around here that are strictly cash-only

yeah, and the $1.50 they save bought them the BIG MANSION they live in so they have somewhere to park the rolls royce..
gimme a break Himmler...

you know, if people not paying their taxes gets your ass in a sandpaper sling, why don't you fire up your chainsaw and go take it out on the rich guy down the road who is laughing at you as opposed to the guy who came to North America to feed his family and live the north american dream who has to deal with myopic racist pricks all day...

as John Stewart said so well,

"Why is it that if you take advantage of a tax break and you're a corporation, you're a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something you need to not be hungry, you're a moocher?"

but since we're going on about the "ethnicity that don't pay taxes", what about the Italian rackets?
oh right, "they" are white looking enough not to bother anyone..
we can forget about "those guys".. if it's "white" it's alright...
oh yeah, and "they" gave us the mob. right on. and that's ALL Italians right? all italians are in the mob?
pleeease.....

you know, if you knee jerk xenophobes went after the real cancer in your country to pay what they should, you'd ALL be living well and have less time to f blame your crap on the poor.

it's that systemic racism that keeps them poor. it's why a physicist /doctor / engineer in one country becomes a cab driver the second they set foot in your backwards ass country...

it's bad enough you steal the land from the natives, then when someone else comes over and doesn't pay taxes...OH THE INDIGNANT BUTTHURT....

fark off with your David Dukes apologist garbage moran. you white folks are a minority now..get used to it.
us more cultured folks are laughing at your inability to integrate with the modern ...


Would you like a hug? I think you could use one.
 
2012-11-07 02:49:35 PM  

uberaverage: I'm sure they play the same "No speaky engrish" when it's time to pay their taxes.


3/10. Too blatantly obvious.
 
2012-11-07 03:24:59 PM  
They were lucky they were arrested most Chinese take out places are secretly run by the Chinese mob (and the employees are slave labor). If the Chinese mob got them, there wouldn't be much left.
 
2012-11-07 03:31:24 PM  
这是一个抢劫 = this is a robbery.
 
2012-11-07 03:37:15 PM  

Bobbi Wickham: They were lucky they were arrested most Chinese take out places are secretly run by the Chinese mob (and the employees are slave labor). If the Chinese mob got them, there wouldn't be much left.


Sure there would: leftover moo shu pork, pork fried rice, sweet and sour pork, pork egg rolls, etc.

/Robber: the other, other white meat.
 
2012-11-07 03:50:10 PM  

weapon13: We close now, you go.

On a serious note though, language barrier or not, in what country does 3 guys waving guns and banging on the cash register NOT mean a robbery?


Iran? Afghanistan? Iraq? Thailand? Parts of Compton?
 
2012-11-07 04:27:03 PM  
www.achristmasstoryhouse.com
 
2012-11-07 04:43:53 PM  

onyxruby: 这是一个抢劫 = this is a robbery.


forgot your numchunks, cuz.
 
2012-11-07 04:58:47 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-11-07 06:52:17 PM  

Bobbi Wickham


Smartest Funniest 2012-11-07 03:24:59 PM

They were lucky they were arrested most Chinese take out places are secretly run by the Chinese mob (and the employees are slave labor). If the Chinese mob got them, there wouldn't be much left.


You watch too many movies. The only people, Chinese mobsters bother is other Chinese.
 
2012-11-07 11:02:43 PM  
Yes, one of my favorite shows... Deadwood... I can hear it now: "Swearigen... San Francisco... Cocksucker?...
 
2012-11-07 11:06:11 PM  

Barnstormer: I went out to "cold tea" late one night (that's slang for after-hours liquor at a Chinese restaurant) and asked the owner for a table for three. He said, "No table for free! You pay!"


Oh, you are from Boston then.

/chinese people are the undisputed champions of not understanding you
 
2012-11-08 01:04:19 AM  

vudukungfu: onyxruby: 这是一个抢劫 = this is a robbery.

forgot your numchunks, cuz.


My very Chinese girlfriend says that grew up in China disagrees with you.
 
2012-11-08 04:55:22 AM  

onyxruby: vudukungfu: onyxruby: 这是一个抢劫 = this is a robbery.

forgot your numchunks, cuz.

My very Chinese girlfriend says that grew up in China disagrees with you.


I'm not banking on your transcribing skills.
 
2012-11-08 10:56:46 AM  

starsrift: I'm not banking on your transcribing skills


I'm not either, I don't read the language at all. That's why I asked my girlfriend since I was curious what it said.

/Grr, copy paste edit on a cell phone.
 
2012-11-08 05:33:54 PM  

Haliburton Cummings: jshine: Haliburton Cummings: uberaverage: I'm sure they play the same "No speaky engrish" when it's time to pay their taxes.

/and, of course, there are a number of other Chinese restaurants around here that are strictly cash-only

yeah, and the $1.50 they save bought them the BIG MANSION they live in so they have somewhere to park the rolls royce..
gimme a break Himmler...

you know, if people not paying their taxes gets your ass in a sandpaper sling, why don't you fire up your chainsaw and go take it out on the rich guy down the road who is laughing at you as opposed to the guy who came to North America to feed his family and live the north american dream who has to deal with myopic racist pricks all day...

as John Stewart said so well,

"Why is it that if you take advantage of a tax break and you're a corporation, you're a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something you need to not be hungry, you're a moocher?"

but since we're going on about the "ethnicity that don't pay taxes", what about the Italian rackets?
oh right, "they" are white looking enough not to bother anyone..
we can forget about "those guys".. if it's "white" it's alright...
oh yeah, and "they" gave us the mob. right on. and that's ALL Italians right? all italians are in the mob?
pleeease.....

you know, if you knee jerk xenophobes went after the real cancer in your country to pay what they should, you'd ALL be living well and have less time to f blame your crap on the poor.

it's that systemic racism that keeps them poor. it's why a physicist /doctor / engineer in one country becomes a cab driver the second they set foot in your backwards ass country...

it's bad enough you steal the land from the natives, then when someone else comes over and doesn't pay taxes...OH THE INDIGNANT BUTTHURT....

fark off with your David Dukes apologist garbage moran. you white folks are a minority now..get used to it.
us more cultured folks are laughing at your inability to integrate with the modern ...



In other words:
i802.photobucket.com

...but seriously, that's quite the impressive tirade, especially in response to a relatively simple empirical observation.
 
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