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(Fark)   Obscure family member today: "I voted for the guy who isn't wrecking the country by forcing us all to be Muslims." Share your derp experiences from either side of the aisle from election day here   ( fark.com) divider line
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7677 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Nov 2012 at 6:57 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-11-06 07:07:07 PM  
15 votes:
It would be hilarious if Obama made a speech after re-election:

"Now that I am re-elected, the secret Muslim programs begin! Allah Akbar!

"Just kidding, I'm introducing a tax break for buying handguns."
2012-11-06 07:07:32 PM  
14 votes:
I've had obscure family members since before it was cool, subby's probably never heard of them.
2012-11-06 07:01:51 PM  
9 votes:
Posted in another thread, but sharing here as well

i47.tinypic.com 

/A friend came home to his apt in NY City a few weeks ago to find this derp taped to his door
2012-11-06 06:52:46 PM  
8 votes:
My boss and a coworker were talking about all the guns they were going to buy in the next week if Obama gets re-elected because soon it would be illegal to buy them. Then they fantasized about all the killing they'd do when "they come for our guns".

I normally love and respect these people, but something about politics turns people into brainless goobers.
2012-11-06 07:06:05 PM  
7 votes:

Sign some former used car lot owner north of Boston posted about his failed business. I think his business failed because he wasted his money making stupid signs like this.


img10.imageshack.us

2012-11-07 03:39:34 AM  
6 votes:

PyroStock: That reminds me of my sister (except she cannot have kids, so no I'm not your uncle). We are in the kitchen and she starts a new conversation topic saying, "You should read a book."

I'm already reading a book at the time, but curious what book she would recommend or if she's falsely insinuating I don't read. She's known to be nice at first then after your guard is down make low blow "sucker punch" insults. So I calmly ask, "What book should I read?"

She replies as her eyes go wide-eyed crazy, "All of them!"

I smile and politely say, "Ok, I will read all the books."

She then gets upset and calls me crazy as she leaves the house.

 

i48.tinypic.com
2012-11-06 11:56:20 PM  
6 votes:
I live in Ohio. My parents are Korean, but I was made in America.

This lovely campaign flyer arrived in the mail yesterday AND today.

i.imgur.com

Nice coded language. First, the odd use of the term "reunification", which has special resonance for Koreans.

Then the "Mek-shi-cans are jumping the line ahead of you and your family!"

And the pandering to foreign students who are studying math, science, and engineering, because that's all the Asian brain is good for.

Best of all, the "free tuition at colleges in Massachusetts for good students" line, which obviously means that Romney wants to give my precious kimchi-scented snowflakes a free ride to Harvard, Yale, or MIT.

Here is side 2:

i.imgur.com

Meh, pretty boring "diversity" boilerplate at the top. But what's this at the bottom?

Oh Lordy, Mitt's looking somewhat more... pigmented... than usual. Yellow, even.

And squinty.

And grinning all bucktoothed.

OMG... MITT ROMNEY IS ASIAN... JUST LIKE ME!!!

shiat, if they were trying to depict Romney with stereotypical Asian features, why didn't they just go full retard:

i.imgur.com
2012-11-06 07:05:54 PM  
6 votes:

Silly Jesus: 1. Woman on phone at the grocery store. - "Christ is still the King and he has a plan for us. He will cast his vote."
2. Woman behind me in line to vote. - "Votin' is important. I gots to keep my check a comin'."

Guess who each voted for?

I still can't believe that we still allow ignorant / low information / outright retarded people to vote. Hell, a first grade math test would have likely thrown these two wastes of air out of the process.


If we stopped ignorant/low information/outright retarded people from voting then you wouldn't be able to vote and that seems like a shame.
2012-11-06 09:17:56 PM  
5 votes:
I'll just report my own derp; When I voted this morning I grabbed four of those "I voted" stickers and put them all on before I got to work. When I got to the office I walked into the bullpen, and being the only Democrat in the place was all prepared when they asked why I had four stickers "I voted for Obama four times... Acorn made me do it!"
2012-11-06 07:36:04 PM  
5 votes:
All...farking....day.....

4.bp.blogspot.com
2012-11-06 07:25:49 PM  
5 votes:
Here's some copy pasta of phone conversation with my dad I posted in a previous thread.


dad: You should google "executive orders".

me: Ok pop I'll bite. Why?

dad: Obama has over 900, more than any president ever.

me: That sounds like some crazy email forward shiat there pop.

dad: It's true. Look it up.

me: OK pop, according to the national archives Obama has 140 executive orders so far. Bush II had 291, Clinton had 364, Bush I had 166, Reagan had 381. Obama is on track to be pretty average.

dad: ............

me: Pop?

dad: How's the weather up your way?
2012-11-06 07:21:02 PM  
5 votes:
A volunteer from the Obama campaign called to ask how I planned to vote.
I said, "Green Party candidate Jill Stein."
She said, "Awesome!"
2012-11-07 02:28:47 AM  
4 votes:
Non-derp, but I have to share it: "Cheer up Todd Akin: if it's a legitimate loss, the body has a way of shutting it down."
2012-11-06 08:47:30 PM  
4 votes:
Subby, nothing is obscure on Fark.
2012-11-06 07:55:23 PM  
4 votes:
My obscure family members haven't spoken or emailed me since before the 2008 election. They we're emailing me on a regular basis with all sorts of derp. When I finally had had enough, I made a contribution to Al Franken in their names (they live in MN, I don't). I told them what I had done, and promised to make additional contribution for every political email that they sent me. The problem seems to have been solved.
2012-11-06 07:54:25 PM  
4 votes:
i.imgur.com 

I don't know which is funniest. The addition of taxes to pay for sex-change ops (pro-tip: laws are written by the Congress. The House has a Republican majority)? The lie about the power of God being in the Constitution ("no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States." - Article VI of that Constitution)? Or the idea that God wants America to do well, but only if enough people bow down and change his mind? Tolerance is a bad thing for the religious?

I'm going with font mania! Bold! Italic! Change CASE! Change the size!

It comes from a number that, when Googled, is from a known telemarketer. Way to guarantee you piss people off, Bible Bashers!
2012-11-06 07:24:13 PM  
4 votes:
Female Facebook post: i voted today and they ran out of stickers. I am so pissed! That was the only reason I voted!
2012-11-06 07:13:46 PM  
4 votes:
A few choice ones:

1) I did it for my daughters.
2) You can't call yourself a Christian if you vote for the guy who wants to help the rich instead of increase government assistance for the poor.
3) If you vote for Romney, you hate gays.
4) I woke up early today, scared, and got to the polls as soon as I could.


And my personal favorite:

Voting for third party candidates is for the smug and stupid. At least I was drinking heavily back when I voted for Ross Perot.
2012-11-06 07:04:41 PM  
4 votes:
"(Obama) spent trillions bailing out everything when he could have been spending money improving our military"

The U.S is severely lacking in money spent on military... let me tell ya.
2012-11-06 07:03:19 PM  
4 votes:
I voted for the guy who is going to pay me the most sit on my ass and crotch-shoot out a series of career felons

- every democrat ever
2012-11-06 07:03:05 PM  
4 votes:
"im not voting becuz i dont want to get trapped into jury duty"
2012-11-06 07:02:47 PM  
4 votes:
I'm waiting for NOBama to give me my free money the Republicans promised I would get from the last election.
2012-11-06 06:58:20 PM  
4 votes:
i112.photobucket.com
2012-11-06 06:53:18 PM  
4 votes:
I was at an Obama campaign office so pretty much zero derp.
2012-11-06 06:51:53 PM  
4 votes:
why would an obscure family member interact with you today? are you sure its even your family member and not a homeless person?
2012-11-07 03:27:17 AM  
3 votes:

milkyshirt: Oh, and I nearly forgot this gem. When I asked her about her information sources (she doesn't use the internet; she can't even figure out how to play a music cd on a computer) she said she reads the magazines.

"Which magazines?"

"All of them!"

/For realz


0-o

That reminds me of my sister (except she cannot have kids, so no I'm not your uncle). We are in the kitchen and she starts a new conversation topic saying, "You should read a book."

I'm already reading a book at the time, but curious what book she would recommend or if she's falsely insinuating I don't read. She's known to be nice at first then after your guard is down make low blow "sucker punch" insults. So I calmly ask, "What book should I read?"

She replies as her eyes go wide-eyed crazy, "All of them!"

I smile and politely say, "Ok, I will read all the books."

She then gets upset and calls me crazy as she leaves the house.

/The crazy... she has it.
//She used to be quite good with "sucker punch" insults, but her crazy is now slowly ruining her once smooth technique.
2012-11-06 10:43:57 PM  
3 votes:
I personally have been busy the last two weeks selling off all my spare rifles and a lot of bulk ammo that I have collected over the past few years.

Hillbillies spent all their cash around the 2008 election in a blind panic, driving up rifle and ammo prices. Fast forward a year or two, and when they were out of cash they dumped them all at a loss. To me.
Now they are in buying panic again, and are buying at stupid prices. I am not going to complain. I'll replace it all buying it back from random hillbillies again in a year at half the price.

/one guy from a couple years ago just called me. Sold me an SKS for $150 in 2010, with a few hundred rounds of ammo included. Bought the same rifle back, this time for $350, no ammo. Same dude.
//Probably he will get short on rent or beer money and I'll pick it up again for $200 in six months after he realizes maybe the UN isn't going to come to force us to all be lesbian marxist vegetarians.
2012-11-06 09:50:15 PM  
3 votes:
Had my 85-year old Aunt and Uncle over for dinner last night. As usual, the topic of Obama comes up. My aunt says 'I don't like Romney, but I definitely don't want Obama to be re-elected. There's something about him i don't like...like he thinks he's better than us."

I say, half jokingly, "You mean he's uppity?"

"Yes! That's exactly the word I was looking for!"
2012-11-06 08:38:38 PM  
3 votes:
From my FB: The result of the election will really test the theory, 'once you go black you never go back.'
2012-11-06 08:36:08 PM  
3 votes:
so.. my husband's family is from the south. the your brother is your uncle kind of south. i was told today, "Are you kidding? I'd rather vote for a n***** than a mormon!".
f.m.l.
2012-11-06 07:46:05 PM  
3 votes:
My (older, white) neighbor struck up a conversation with me one day and asked about my job hunt. I told him I hadn't found anything yet and he said "Well, hopefully in November we'll kick that n*gger out of office and things can get back to normal".

He didn't seem to notice that I was in the middle of reading this:

cdn.theatlantic.com
2012-11-06 07:33:32 PM  
3 votes:

mpfjr: I voted for Obama because he is black"- Every black person in America

"I voted for Obama because I'm Mexican and want all my family and friends to be given amnesty"-Every Latino in America.


"I voted for Romney because I don't want a president who can dunk or dance better than me" -Every white in America

/Wow this is fun... shouldn't stupidity burn instead of be fun?
2012-11-06 07:32:55 PM  
3 votes:
Old guy bagging groceries at the supermarket asked if I was voting today. He then said I can't talk about who I hope wins today. As he said that he tilted his head towards the black cashier who saw him make the gesture. Very surreal moment.
2012-11-06 07:26:51 PM  
3 votes:
i.imgur.com
2012-11-06 07:22:35 PM  
3 votes:

Spoon over Marin: Tziva: jadeblue: I'M SORRY, I HOPE THIS MAKES IT UP TO YOU.

In other nhttp://www.fark.com/comments/7420903/Obscure-family-member-today-I-vo ted-for-guy-who-isnt-wrecking-country-by-forcing-us-all-to-be-Muslims- Share-your-derp-experiences-from-either-side-of-aisle-from-election-da y-here&new=1#bews, I'm concerned that that didn't ping me. WHAT OTHER DINOSAUR SHOES AM I MISSING?!

I haven't been getting the notifications since the update Saturday.


I've gotten all the ones from this thread and one from the hat thread but that's it. I didn't post much this weekend, though.

MAYBE ITS A CONSPIRACY AND DREW IS SELLING OUR NOTIFICATIONS TO FUND SO-AND-SO'S CAMPAIGN I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT I AM SAYING BUT IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE AND I THINK THAT IS THE ONLY CRITERIA FOR A POLITICS THREAD BESIDES CAPS WHICH I SO GOT COVERED.
2012-11-06 07:21:09 PM  
3 votes:
I voted for Obama because he is black"- Every black person in America

"I voted for Obama because I'm Mexican and want all my family and friends to be given amnesty"-Every Latino in America.
2012-11-06 07:08:57 PM  
3 votes:
Mo' derp.

At 6:58pm I got a robot call from the governor of my state encouraging me to go vote for "the Republican leadership team". The polls here close at 7pm.
2012-11-06 07:05:56 PM  
3 votes:
Driving through Lufkin Texas this afternoon, a equipment business had changed their sign to read:

Who is Obama?
A Muslim Terrorist
2012-11-06 07:01:08 PM  
3 votes:

coco ebert: I was at an Obama campaign office so pretty much zero derp.


You kinda just get used to the derp when you're around it so much.
2012-11-06 06:59:34 PM  
3 votes:
A well-educated friend sent me this derp just a little while ago.

i1071.photobucket.com
2012-11-06 06:53:58 PM  
3 votes:
That sounds like something an elderly hillbilly would say. Is your obscure relative an elderly hillbilly?
2012-11-06 06:50:42 PM  
3 votes:
Sooo....they voted for Obama? Awesome.
2012-11-07 11:00:11 AM  
2 votes:
From a welder I work with:
"Obama only won because Romney conceded."

It doesn't work that way!
2012-11-07 08:59:37 AM  
2 votes:
Had a friend post about how they're voting for the candidate that will defend the Bible instead of changing it all.

They're a Romney supporter that had apparently never heard of the Book of Mormon.
2012-11-07 08:14:48 AM  
2 votes:
This is way late in every sense, but it made me spit my tea this morning. My step-sister posted it on FB (she's a HS drama teacher):

Proof that every high schooler's stubborn political views are purely fact based: "I heard Romney is not gonna let women wear Tampons."
2012-11-07 02:47:54 AM  
2 votes:

NannerPuss: My boss and a coworker were talking about all the guns they were going to buy in the next week if Obama gets re-elected because soon it would be illegal to buy them.


I am quite happy to sell them lots at inflated prices. When the bravado wears off and the rent is due in a few months, they will sell them at a loss for quick cash, and I'll just resell them again to new rednecks at inflated rates next election. Rinse. Repeat.

/I stopped loathing these morons, and simply made them into a business model.
2012-11-07 01:08:58 AM  
2 votes:

NannerPuss: My boss and a coworker were talking about all the guns they were going to buy in the next week if Obama gets re-elected because soon it would be illegal to buy them.


Their fears are well founded.
2012-11-06 08:39:02 PM  
2 votes:

bratling: so.. my husband's family is from the south. the your brother is your uncle kind of south. i was told today, "Are you kidding? I'd rather vote for a n***** than a mormon!".
f.m.l.


I almost want to see that on a T-shirt. Almost.
2012-11-06 08:05:39 PM  
2 votes:
My dumb coont mother told me she can't vote for Obama because, amongst other things, "he doesn't care". When pressed further, not only does she fully believe that Rmoney cares about the little people, but she also said some stuff that would've invited a Secret Service visit if I had been so inclined.

/she's a dumb farking twat
2012-11-06 07:51:37 PM  
2 votes:

fusillade762: My (older, white) neighbor struck up a conversation with me one day and asked about my job hunt. I told him I hadn't found anything yet and he said "Well, hopefully in November we'll kick that n*gger out of office and things can get back to normal".


"Listen man, I don't like Biden either, but there's no need for name calling!"
2012-11-06 07:50:31 PM  
2 votes:
Back during the 2004 election, my mother ended up on the phone with a pollster asking who she planned to vote for. Being a Jehovah's Witness, my mother doesn't vote. (The theory is that Jesus is meant to be King of Earth in the long run, so there's no point to voting for humans in the meantime.) She didn't explain this, and simply said "I voted for Jesus."

There was a pause, then the woman on the other end of the line attempted to confirm, "So... Bush?"
Rie
2012-11-06 07:50:14 PM  
2 votes:
I was in front of a kid who was really excited about voting next time "in 2017, four years from now."
2012-11-06 07:29:55 PM  
2 votes:
My tea-party boss was biatching today about how his son wasn't allowed to vote because he wasn't registered even though he brought his birth certificate and drivers license with him. I kindly reminded him that you have to register to vote, something you have to go out of your way to do and that it would be voter fraud if he got to vote and wasn't registered.

He shut right up.

/Later he was ranting with the other far right nuts in the office that he heard about there being 12 million illegal voters this year and how his son should be able to vote if they were going to.
2012-11-06 07:22:55 PM  
2 votes:
"If Mittens gets elected, Roe V Wade will be dead before Christmas."

And for parity,

"Obama has already violated the Constitutional limits of who can be president, I don't think he'll stop at two terms."


I hate that their votes count. Incidentally, if you call Romney "Mittens" then I know I don't have to listen to anything else you say. I appreciate that some people give me that flag.
2012-11-06 07:20:38 PM  
2 votes:
A woman who worked at Macy's told me last week 'This election is important. One is a Muslim and one is a Mormon.' She then went on to say 'One is a Marxist and one is a Fascist'.
2012-11-06 07:20:32 PM  
2 votes:

dmax: My mom, quietly: "I hope Romney wins. You know, Obama is a Muslim. He wears that ring that proves he is.
And, anyway, I'd rather have a Christian in the White House."

So I sent her links to Snopes, debunking the ring thing, and a link to how Mormon beliefs differ from "mainstream" christianity.

She replied (nicely!) with an email "proving" that Snopes was funded by Obama because of some stuff with Kagan.

I sent her back this, and then we stopped trading emails.

/never argued more than that with her, my entire life
//adopted and met her ten years ago for the first time
///csb



Last election, I was in our local low-grade food shopping center, and was looking at coffee. Hillbilly man remarks to hillbilly wife in passing "I'm not buying any of that coffee! That's arab ica coffee!". True story.
2012-11-06 07:12:29 PM  
2 votes:

Tziva: WHAT OTHER DINOSAUR SHOES AM I MISSING?!


i526.photobucket.com
2012-11-06 07:12:25 PM  
2 votes:
Massachusetts voter here.........I *may* have snickered at a home made sign this evening at the poll which read: MARIJWANA IS NOT MEDICINE
2012-11-06 07:11:44 PM  
2 votes:

phantomht: "im not voting becuz i dont want to get trapped into jury duty"


A friend got that from one of her students. I'm glad stupid people like that don't vote, but they use DMV, Voter, and tax databases for jury rolls. So stupid people will still be on juries.

The biggest heap of derp I saw was in the local news about some leaflets left around a po' folks grocery store reading "due to expected crowding at the polls, Democrats will be voting on Wednesday."

Especially retarded because this whole state is run by Republicans; as if Dems even pose a threat!
2012-11-06 07:09:49 PM  
2 votes:

sgt cyanide: oh for farks sake. letting the liters in is like letting these 'obscure family member[s]' vote

do what i do with my closet republican dad- try to keep them busy until the polls close. mymymy dad the office is busssssssy to-day!


The liters should be allowed to see exactly what the TFD queue has been like all day long.

/SEE
//SEE WHAT YOU HAVE MISSED, LITERS!
2012-11-06 07:09:46 PM  
2 votes:
Ann Rand was not a Christian philosopher.

Surprisingly brilliant anti-derp comment.
2012-11-06 07:03:40 PM  
2 votes:
From my friends:
*all cars are being made in mexico and china since Obama took office
* how can you care about issues like gay marriage and equal rights when so many people are unemployed?
*Obama is so weak that the international community laughs at us. I'm voting Romney because we're not pussies
*If he lied about Benghazi, what else is he lying about? I can't trust him, so I'm voting Romeny.

/facepalm
2012-11-06 07:03:24 PM  
2 votes:
I can't participate. I am the guy my family would be posting about.


/conscientious abstainer. I won't have the blood they spill on my hands. Not in the War on Terror, the War on Drugs, the War on Privacy, the War on Obesity, the War on Education, etc, etc, ad nauseum
2012-11-06 07:02:58 PM  
2 votes:
1. Woman on phone at the grocery store. - "Christ is still the King and he has a plan for us. He will cast his vote."
2. Woman behind me in line to vote. - "Votin' is important. I gots to keep my check a comin'."

Guess who each voted for?

I still can't believe that we still allow ignorant / low information / outright retarded people to vote. Hell, a first grade math test would have likely thrown these two wastes of air out of the process.
2012-11-06 06:59:53 PM  
2 votes:
"I tell ya, it's those damn Unions that are gonna ruin 'Merika."
2012-11-06 06:59:30 PM  
2 votes:
Whoever wins, we lose.
2012-11-06 06:49:33 PM  
2 votes:
I just don't get where that comes from. What instance of reality can they point to to support this assertion?
2012-11-07 12:55:51 PM  
1 vote:

shortymac: Ahhhhhhhh Neocon Theofacist tears, they give me hope!

From my facebook feed this morning:

I will NOT call him president. HE IS NOT MY PRESIDENT. He wasn't my president before this election, he will not be my president this election and he will not be my ex-president. He will not be my king, my ruler.....NOTHING!!!

Welcome to the Socialist of America...the NEWEST THIRD WORLD COUNTRY.


Oh I forget, I used to work with this chick back in high school at a grocery store. She was arrested for stealing a few hundred bucks from the cash register...
2012-11-07 12:38:53 PM  
1 vote:
Relative: Unemployment climbed to highest levels as soon as Obama took office.

Me: Pulling up Department of Labor graphs shows unemployment climbing during the last several months of Bush's terms, and leveling and slowly dropping under Obama within the first 6 mos.

Relative: Well...Job creators and business men have a way of predicting who is going to win elections. They knew Obama was going to win, and when a democrat come in to power, they divest and jobs are lost. They just don't trust Obama. As a banker in the 90s, I saw this exact thing happen when Clinton came in. The business men stopped investing in local businesses.

Me: Clinton saw the greatest boon in the US economy since the end of WWII.

Relative: ...I'm telling you that's what happens and the economy goes bad. (((herpaderp)))

Me: Well then it sounds to me like we don't want these sorts of people's money doing all the talking.

Relative: Well, see what happens if Obama wins another term.

Me: I'm going to be watching these business men and the GOP obstructionists even closer.

I then was pressured in to betting who was going to win the Presidency. Collecting my steak dinner from this person may not be as fun as I'd like it to be.
2012-11-07 12:29:21 PM  
1 vote:
My brother posted this status message on facebook:

So four more years of Obama. I hope that obamacare, the 99 weeks unemployment checks, and all the social programs are all worth it. Thanks to the social parasites, the lazzyasses, and the moochers for helping in the destruction of this noble country. I guess I am moving to Chile to go and work with [company]...

Guess everyone who voted for Obama is a social parasite/lazyass/moocher.

Isn't Chile even more liberal than the US? They have a lady president and everything.
2012-11-07 11:45:32 AM  
1 vote:
Canadian here, in a sea of Facebook posts jubilant about Obama's victory there was one lone sour grapes post.

From my American Ex :

"Guess we better move to Asia"

I so badly wanted to reply, "Yup, that's a great place for people who don't respect democracy."

But then I remembered she just posted that for attention.

/American Woman
//Get away from me
2012-11-07 11:29:20 AM  
1 vote:
Quotes from a family member (and member of the military) on Facebook, spelling errors left intact:

"How can you put a guy back in office who completely disrespects are country every time he refuses to put his hand over his heart when he sees are flag....he supports the troops my ass.....the leader of are country yet he disrespects everyone in it"

"I can't wait tell he threatens not to pay the military again that's always fun"

There's so much wrong with those statements I don't know where to start.
2012-11-07 10:08:36 AM  
1 vote:
From my youngest cousin an ex-marine:
Oh thank god we get to pay for lazy farks who don't want to work and have nothing to contribute to society at least they came out on top with this one now they have another four years to sell there food stamps to buy drugs and pop out some more trailer trash kids, good job America 
From his older sister:
fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net 

From their mother:
Thank u god!!! Im sorry to all my millionaire friends. Lol
2012-11-07 09:37:15 AM  
1 vote:
having dinner last night with my lass and her mom in Maryland
her brother comes in and when questioned about his vote says
he voted for a third party candidate
her mom immediately says " so you wasted your vote huh, good thinking"

in my head.. I was shaking her like a british nanny
2012-11-07 09:08:15 AM  
1 vote:

reklamfox: Posted in another thread, but sharing here as well

[i47.tinypic.com image 426x639] 

/A friend came home to his apt in NY City a few weeks ago to find this derp taped to his door


Isn't there like a 3rd option where you can say "I kinda like my soul,but I also want to vote for Barry. Not for messiah, just for president."?
Maybe you just have to write that one in.
2012-11-07 08:50:22 AM  
1 vote:
Not recent, but last time I had a physical I heard the doctor down the hall say to a patient:

"You think healthcare is expensive now, just wait 'til it's "free"!"
2012-11-07 08:32:51 AM  
1 vote:
I had a friend post on her facebook that she was afraid of Romney because.

1. He'll immediately invalidate my marriage(She's a lesbian)
2. Take away my birth control(Why is a lesbian married to a woman on birth control?)
3. Ban abortion nationwide(reminders of Roe v Wade went unacknowledged)
4. Allow my employer to cut my pay because I'm a woman.

I guess logic often gives way to irrational fear.
2012-11-07 04:56:22 AM  
1 vote:
Romans 13:1 Every person should obey the government in power. No government would exist if it hadn't been established by God. The governments which exist have been put in place by God.

Ive seen this posted by a few friends, im not sure how it interpret this, but it sounds like one of the craziest things in that book.
2012-11-07 04:28:29 AM  
1 vote:
i6.photobucket.com

/not a family member, thank the gods
2012-11-07 04:02:31 AM  
1 vote:

MrHappyRotter: "Anybody that votes for Obama deserves what they get".

I still don't know what that means.


HEALTH CARE!
2012-11-07 03:19:08 AM  
1 vote:
My husband and i joked that Obama would go on stage and start out with a loud "Allahu Akbar" and then start the next sentence with a mighty "Alhumdulilah!" And end with a nice "InshaAllah." Since we're actually Muslims we found that fun, although the derp-filled backlash would probably be downright scary.
2012-11-07 02:29:52 AM  
1 vote:
Oh, and I nearly forgot this gem. When I asked her about her information sources (she doesn't use the internet; she can't even figure out how to play a music cd on a computer) she said she reads the magazines.

"Which magazines?"

"All of them!"

/For realz
2012-11-07 02:26:50 AM  
1 vote:
This is from one of my friend's wife. They live in Germany:

"Mornin'! What'd I tell ya? We're farkED! I'm so glad the Elections are over, and everyone can go back to their "regular" Life. Now I know for sure I don't want to go back to the States for another 4 years!!! Bad enough Bamberg is DEFINITELY closing now :( Goodbye Homeland! On another note... why do all the germans care who gets elected President in the States? It's not like he will take care of YOU! Hell, he don't even take care of most of us!!!"
2012-11-07 01:18:03 AM  
1 vote:

Insaniteus: The dumb line that I heard was from a friend of mine who is an unemployed 21-year-old single mother with no GED. She said "Well if I can't get a job, why should he get to keep his?"

And she legitimately believes that it is Obama's fault that a single mother with an infant and no GED can't find work.


She can't get a job at all? No waitress, no stripper, no environmental engineer position? Either she's butt ugly or its Barry's fault. Right, she had a kid.
2012-11-07 12:45:16 AM  
1 vote:
I have an uncle in Florida who at the age of 45 had a heart attack and began collecting social security disability, retired from his sheriff position and collected the pension from that, as well as continuing to collect his military pension. He told this to my dad (who is the liberal of all liberals) as they took a ride in my uncle's new corvette. He told my dad he really doesn't need the disability checks, but takes them anyway. He remains a staunch republican and he and my dad do not speak anymore due to their political differences. It makes me sad that my dad who has been sick with chrons disease for 40 years will have to work until he dies because he can't afford not to, while this uncle owns brand new cars and boats and has a huge home, but is still sucking off the system. I was on medicaid while pregnant, which automatically qualifies me for food stamps, but I declined them, because I didn't need them.
I don't exactly think Obama is awesome, but lesser of two evils? yeah.
2012-11-06 10:50:29 PM  
1 vote:
My mother informed me she voted for Romney because "he is more handsome than Obama."

Glad her uncle died over China, flying a fighter plane against the Japanese, so she had the right to play high school popularity contest as a 57 year old.
2012-11-06 10:26:35 PM  
1 vote:
Grandmother, while seeking assistance filling out her ballot: "Where is President Roosevelt on here?"

I did the right thing. Showed her the Obama circle, even though my head damn near exploded, 'cause I know the old broad's a yellow dog Democrat. But why does her vote count? Seriously...
2012-11-06 09:53:53 PM  
1 vote:

Anderson's Pooper: stonicus: Nope.

Yep. I'll put 6 months of TF on the line. 12 months if it happens after a Romney victory.


Deal.

... *blinks*

ahhh, ancient chinese secret huh?

/nice try... hehehe... =)
2012-11-06 09:29:14 PM  
1 vote:
One of the guys I work with informed me that after he mailed in his out of state ballot his wife asked him who he voted for and then got upset when he told her. She claimed it was "both" of their vote since she had never registered ("lazy", his words not mine) and he had cast their ballot without her consent. It apparently led to quite a fight.
2012-11-06 09:14:48 PM  
1 vote:
theintelhub.com

"I'm voting for George W Bush, because only he will stop the terrorists from attacking us."
2012-11-06 09:03:37 PM  
1 vote:

ilikeracecars: I didn't vote today because....


I'm a Canadian, and don't live in the states, but thanks for inviting me to this thread! Really nice Derp you've got here.
2012-11-06 08:57:33 PM  
1 vote:
My girlfriend's sister is deathly afraid that there will be riots in the streets if Obama loses, and that if that happens he won't relinquish the presidency.

Reminded me of the derp on the left after Bush's 2nd term was set to expire. I told her that and she was all like, "That doesn't make any sense, Bush respected the constitution."

Fun night. I had wine!
2012-11-06 08:56:43 PM  
1 vote:
Not political, but relevant derp:

Just went to help grandma and my aunt move in to a 50+ retirement community, get the cable working, change light bulbs, fix broken things, do handyman stuff like that. My Other Aunt came up as well to do curtains and other esthetic items.

Just before we all went our separate ways we all went to lunch at a local restaurant. Other Aunt started telling us how she had been talking to all the neighbors, and how they were all glad that they had moved in and wished them well, and how they were glad they weren't... You know...

Grandma didn't know. Grandma is 90+ years old and almost deaf even when she bothers to put her hearing aids in.

I leaned over... "YOU KNOW... YOU'RE NOT BLACK LIKE THE LAST TENANTS!"

Grandma got it.... But you never saw such frantic shooshing and wild handwaving from a self-proclaimed liberal as my Other Aunt acted out at that moment.

It was a long trip back, since OA was providing my ride home. Halfway through the three-hour drive:

OA: "I didn't mean it was because they were black! It's just that they had 18 grandchildren and the neighbors all said they didn't have anything to do when they visited!"

me: mmm. You know, there are white people with lots of grandchildren who can't find entertainment in a retirement community...

OA: "Well, they were all asking what shape the place was in after they left."

me: "Looked pretty good to me. I had to replace 2 light bulbs, and one of the wheels on the sliding shower door track was loose."

OA: (long quiet ride)

OA one hour later: "It's not because they were black!" 

/ I do love my aunt.
2012-11-06 08:54:37 PM  
1 vote:
gop'er. "If Obama gets elected, we will go from having the best healthcare system in the world to having the absolute worst."

me: "who will have a better system?"

gop'er: "................ what do you mean?"

me: "if we have the worst, that means others are better, who will they be?"

gop'er: "nobody, Im just saying."
2012-11-06 08:53:44 PM  
1 vote:

freewill: ...
It was only then that I realized that, in theory, my SSID could be as obscene as I wanted it to be, and nobody would really be able to do anything about it.

/ Would they?

 

Good question, I'll be sure to use this as a topic for my online classes. Cyber Security is my major, logging into unsecured access points and changing the SSID is one of my hobbies. It's a good time.
2012-11-06 08:43:17 PM  
1 vote:

Smirky the Wonder Chimp: "I tell you, if we get another four years of Obama, the democrats will run an illegal alien in 2016. And the first thing he's gonna do is erase the US-Mexican border."

Another hit from Uncle Wingnut.


Well, if that happened then I guess corporations "shipping our jobs off to Mexico" wouldn't be a problem anymore, right? Bring it on.
2012-11-06 08:39:56 PM  
1 vote:

bratling: so.. my husband's family is from the south. the your brother is your uncle kind of south. i was told today, "Are you kidding? I'd rather vote for a n***** than a mormon!".


Technically, that's progress, right?
2012-11-06 08:36:27 PM  
1 vote:

Gough: My obscure family members haven't spoken or emailed me since before the 2008 election. They we're emailing me on a regular basis with all sorts of derp. When I finally had had enough, I made a contribution to Al Franken in their names (they live in MN, I don't). I told them what I had done, and promised to make additional contribution for every political email that they sent me. The problem seems to have been solved.


I'm Mudgen, and I approve of this post.
2012-11-06 08:35:52 PM  
1 vote:
I spoke with my mother on the phone this weekend and she mentioned that she knew several people who were going to write in Rick Santorum. Why yes, they were crazy church folk, why do you ask?
2012-11-06 08:22:17 PM  
1 vote:
My relatives don't talk to me about politics. They can't compete with facts and empathy.
2012-11-06 08:21:11 PM  
1 vote:
(Topic of conversation was long lines for early voters) "Early voting is stupid. Why don't they just wait till election day?"
2012-11-06 08:13:08 PM  
1 vote:
"I hope Obama wins again. I think that he should make those rich people give all that extra money back to the government and spread it out to everyone. No one needs more that $200,000. Think how much better it will be after that."
2012-11-06 08:12:56 PM  
1 vote:
No derp today, but I've been dealing with some in the past few months. One person, who shall remain anonymous, thinks Obama might be the Anti-Christ and is fond of sending out conspiracy theory emails periodically. Another is much more intelligent, but still thinks Obama is going to raise his taxes. When I told him that tax rates for his bracket actually went down, he replied, "Have you seen what's coming?" Presumably that means Obama hasn't done it yet, but will, because... well, who knows? He didn't have anything to back it up, but is still convinced.

The latter is smart, but I think misled. The former is a loving woman, but a serious nut.
2012-11-06 08:10:41 PM  
1 vote:

Kyro: My uncle posted this on Facebook.

[sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net image 850x645]

I have to at least give the creator points for effort.


Wow, how did they manage to spell everything correctly? Mechanical Turk? 

i651.photobucket.com
2012-11-06 08:10:22 PM  
1 vote:
One of my students told me that Barack Obama's father is not the one listed on his birth certificate. His biological father is a Communist, making him one too.

You see, when Obama's mother was knocked up by a black Communist, her dad was so pissed that he had to find a man who could stand in as the biological dad. He finds Barack Obama's dad--the one listed on the birth certificate--and through his connections at the State Department, gets this PhD student's visa changed into a resident visa and gets him to marry his already pregnant daughter, thereby making his soon-to-be-born grandchild (Obama) a Muslim, but not a Communist.

Then he tells me that if Obama is reelected, he is going to work with Hillary Clinton to ban the sale of all forms of ammunition for guns of any kind. So he is going to invest in the equipment to make his own bullets. And he is going to buy as many kinds of guns as possible as they will soon work to make the sale of guns illegal--since you cannot own the ammunition, there is no reason to have the guns the bullets go in.
2012-11-06 08:09:47 PM  
1 vote:

sgt cyanide: oh for farks sake. letting the liters in is like letting these 'obscure family member[s]' vote

do what i do with my closet republican dad- try to keep them busy until the polls close. mymymy dad the office is busssssssy to-day!


I'm a Fark liter 'cause I'm po'. So sue me.
2012-11-06 08:01:43 PM  
1 vote:
My uncle posted this on Facebook.

sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net

I have to at least give the creator points for effort.
2012-11-06 08:00:25 PM  
1 vote:
Well no matter who wins, at least this time around even though there were folks waiting on me and upset I was late, I VOTED. Actually I don't thik that's DERP, but last time around I got lazy and hated myself for it so maybe that's DERP. What is DERP anyway? Ironic? Stupid? Something Obama did? Something RMoney did? Actually I'll go DERP. DEEP DERP: I just came home and changed my wifi SSD to

DontBlameMeIVotedForTheWhiteGuy

Reckon that's pretty derpy
2012-11-06 07:59:22 PM  
1 vote:

skinink: Sign some former used car lot owner north of Boston posted about his failed business. I think his business failed because he wasted his money making stupid signs like this.
[img10.imageshack.us image 800x600]


Do you know the name of this lot? I think I know who this is, and he is an asshat.
2012-11-06 07:58:28 PM  
1 vote:

NikkiPoooo: themeaningoflifeisnot: Why is your relative obscure? And why so stupid?

Yeah, I don't really understand how subby's family member can be obscure, at least not to subby.


Subtard wanted to say 'random', but realized how farking stupid that would sound.
2012-11-06 07:55:40 PM  
1 vote:
Not derp, but kinda csb..

Old guy (maybe 80-ish) at the head of the line was having problems because they couldn't find him as being registered, though they apparently found his wife. So they asked him when the last time he voted.

He answered "1976".

/csb
2012-11-06 07:54:04 PM  
1 vote:
Obama is a Keynesian. No, that doesn't mean he's from Africa.
2012-11-06 07:50:27 PM  
1 vote:
From my FB feed:

"@ the polls. The guy behind me is wearing a pro 2nd amendment shirt. Isn't that bordering on voter intimidation?"
2012-11-06 07:50:21 PM  
1 vote:

Gimme The Busket: Female Facebook post: i voted today and they ran out of stickers. I am so pissed! That was the only reason I voted!



Lots of local bars are running 50% off specials for sticker holders. It's a valid reward.
2012-11-06 07:48:07 PM  
1 vote:
Not too bad, but there is a woman in my office that "was thinking" about voting for Obama because Romney was going to "do away with" Medicare.

I'm not voting Romney by any means, but know that is not the choice you are making when voting. I also wondered how and why a self absorbed healthy mid-20's female would give a shiat about Medicare. Going by her normal conversation topics, she cares more about The Real Housewives of Atlanta, not Medicare.

So I said "I don't think Medicare is going away completely no matter who wins. At worst, it might get turned into block grants to the states."
Her:" Block what?"
Me: " The states get the money and manage the programs rather than the Federal government."
Her: "Oh. Georgia sucks too."

So I never found out want I wanted to know.
2012-11-06 07:45:59 PM  
1 vote:

pippi longstocking: I actually know a guy that is convinced that the housing market was caused due to black people and that Obama is a communist, seriously.

How do these people function?


If Obama isn't a communist, then how do you explain all his socialist policies? You can't. You just can't. But I can explain why all his policies are socialist - because he's a Maoist Afrocat.
2012-11-06 07:44:06 PM  
1 vote:

ProfessorOhki: Not a peep at work. Facebook is a mix of Onion articles and wondering if Johnson (or any other 3rd party) can pull 5% of the popular vote and what it would mean in 2016, and the occasional argument about if MS had any ethical obligation to not release Halo on election day.

Oh, and there was this:
[img.gawkerassets.com image 640x360]

I don't care what your views are- that is just sort of depressing.


upload.wikimedia.org
2012-11-06 07:43:59 PM  
1 vote:

diaphoresis: pippi longstocking: I actually know a guy that is convinced that the housing market was caused due to black people and that Obama is a communist, seriously.

How do these people function?

Are you sure he wasn't playin' you? I do crap like that around other women, just so I can get the stupid ones to agree...


I don't think so, he thinks CNN is a far-left group calling it the "Communist National Network".
2012-11-06 07:41:17 PM  
1 vote:

durbnpoisn: Do we really want a conservative Christian in the most powerful office on the planet?!


Why, is one running?
2012-11-06 07:40:58 PM  
1 vote:
Not a peep at work. Facebook is a mix of Onion articles and wondering if Johnson (or any other 3rd party) can pull 5% of the popular vote and what it would mean in 2016, and the occasional argument about if MS had any ethical obligation to not release Halo on election day.

Oh, and there was this:
img.gawkerassets.com

I don't care what your views are- that is just sort of depressing.
2012-11-06 07:40:33 PM  
1 vote:
Listened to my elderly hillbilly mother go on and on about how Democrats are the only hope for her hillbilly grandkids. More deluded than derpy. She hasn't a clue about how many of the party feel about her and her ilk.
2012-11-06 07:37:05 PM  
1 vote:
I'm currently reading this book from 1930 "the dictatorship on trial" . In it, the foreword is written by Winston Churchill. It speaks of the failure of democracy due to universal sufferage. It goes on to praise Franco in Spain and Mussolini in Italy. It claims that charlatans and manipulators get in due to manipulating the masses. It also speaks of an electorate who votes only those that further their personal interests with a welfare state.

It worries me, that 80 years after this book. AFter the blatant failure and endemic evil of dictatorships that this book seems to hold some truth and that the people want to be ruled by malevolent charismatics.

Now, I'm not calling Obama that. I feel he is the lesser of two evils. He's certainly not a power mad, sociopathic VC like Romney. However, he needs to fight the tide so that we don't become the bleak nightmare hellscape of dictatorship or welfare state or even a hybrid of the two.
2012-11-06 07:33:43 PM  
1 vote:
I did early voting, early on a weekday. The couple in front of me were having a conversation together, but having it "at" everybody else -- the type of conversation where they're both very loud, pausing between statements to let their words sink in, looking around and making eye contact with the people around them as they talk. Anyway, at one point, the man made the statement, "Anybody that votes for Obama deserves what they get".

I still don't know what that means.
2012-11-06 07:29:44 PM  
1 vote:
Derpiest election derp that ever derped from my (Catholic--that'll be relevant) cousin:

Obama's a Muslim, hell bent on destroying the country. When I pointed out that a) Obama's not a Muslim, b) the percentage of Muslims who are terrorists is actually quit small compared to the 1.7 billion-ish regular people who aren't extremist murderers who also happen to be Muslim, I got back something along the lines of, "Yes, defend the religion of psychopaths founded by a pedophile. Muhammad was a pedophile and so is everyone that follows him."

Mind you, I'm a Christian and registered Independent - fiscally conservative but socially reasonably liberal. Didn't vote for Obama in '08, didn't vote for him OR Romney today. But I'm pretty anal-retentive about having your facts straight.

So I came back with something like, "Uh... we Christians have our own psychopaths that blow up abortion clinics, blame acts of God/nature on pacts with the devil/Divine judgment/retribution, and slaughter millions in the name of our God. That doesn't make all of us extremist idiots. And speaking of pedophiles, do you really want me to start linking articles with the names of pedophiles in the Catholic Church, since by your logic, anyone who follows a pedophile is also a pedophile? Pretty sure a lot of Catholics would take exception to that one..."
2012-11-06 07:29:11 PM  
1 vote:

historycat: My grandmother is convinced that the Virgin Mary predicted at Fatima that a president with "black of hair" would destroy America.

She figures that since Obama is black that must have been who they were talking about.


I got that from my in-laws and disproved it convincingly using their own source text... you know, that "Bible" thing? I'm not bible strong but it took all of 3 or 4 minutes.
2012-11-06 07:28:07 PM  
1 vote:

dmax: She replied (nicely!) with an email "proving" that Snopes was funded by Obama because of some stuff with Kagan.


Lulz, Time Travelling Obama at it again, setting up Snopes 10 years before he became President.
2012-11-06 07:26:10 PM  
1 vote:
LOUD NOISES
2012-11-06 07:25:09 PM  
1 vote:

NannerPuss: My boss and a coworker were talking about all the guns they were going to buy in the next week if Obama gets re-elected because soon it would be illegal to buy them. Then they fantasized about all the killing they'd do when "they come for our guns".

I normally love and respect these people, but something about politics turns people into brainless goobers.


I'm going to repeat this again and again (and again.)

Politics does not turn them into brainless goobers. If they believe that shiat, they *are* brainless goobers. They aren't "normally intelligent." They're farking morons.
2012-11-06 07:24:47 PM  
1 vote:

Silly Jesus: Simple solution. Add "Do you believe that anyone alive currently is the antichrist." If they answer yes...yoink.


Technically, the Antichrist would be someone who doesn't believe in god and is actively working to prevent the apocalypse.
2012-11-06 07:23:13 PM  
1 vote:
I was campaigning at the polls for Maryland Marriage Equality from 6-2 today. I'm copying this from my facebook because I'm lazy...

The Republican campaigner kept trying to start a fight with me. The No on 6 guy was pretty cool and we would chat at breaks in the people. I was asking a question about ballot measure B here in Montgomery County. She started asking about how it is inequality when god made man and woman and the bible says what marriage is. (If you do not know question B here is taking collective bargaining rights away from police officers.) So I finally rise to the bait and say "Well I'm not the property of my husband many more and a guy can't rape me andaen get tnd tho marry me after giving my Dad silver. At least not yet" She says NO that's not in the Christian Bible that's all Muslims like Obama and started to go OFF about secret Muslim plots and birth certificates and secret gay weddings. She kinda ran out of steam when she saw the No on 6, the No on 5, and the no on B (all fellow Republicans) starting at her like she was nuts. Lady was fine all day after that. It was a fun day but I may not be warm until next year.
2012-11-06 07:22:16 PM  
1 vote:
Huh. Surprisingly no email forwards from the family. I am disappoint.

I did get this one from Judson Philips. Well, it was a lot longer, but this was the end of it.

What is He Really Up To?

Here is a simple explanation of who Barack Hussein Obama is and what he's really up to:

Barack Hussein Obama is a Marxist socialist revolutionary and his goal is to transform the Unites States of America into a socialist state.

It really is that simple.

Oh, he certainly has secondary goals. He believes that America is too powerful and must be brought down economically and militarily; hence the multi-trillion dollar debt, trillion dollar annual deficits, the debilitating attacks on the military, and the dismantling of our industrial and energy sectors. He believes that America is an oppressor nation that should be made to pay restitution to oppressed minorities, inside the USA and elsewhere. He has other, equally destructive, goals and ambitions.

We have a President, a major political party, and mainstream news media, which see America as the enemy. Obama's goals are transparent, and there are many of us who do not want him to succeed. The real question is: What are Americans going to do about Obama and his socialist fellow travelers? It is not possible to make a composition with them. Their aim is to destroy us.

Are we going to fight them with every resource at our disposal? Or are we going to let them win?

Whatever the outcome of November 6, each of us has a personal decision to make. And then we must take action.
2012-11-06 07:20:23 PM  
1 vote:
My grandmother is convinced that the Virgin Mary predicted at Fatima that a president with "black of hair" would destroy America.

She figures that since Obama is black that must have been who they were talking about.
2012-11-06 07:18:42 PM  
1 vote:
Ah, that reminds me, I haven't checked my non-fark gmail today.

*cracks knuckles*
2012-11-06 07:18:12 PM  
1 vote:

Lawnchair: Silly Jesus: I still can't believe that we still allow ignorant / low information / outright retarded people to vote. Hell, a first grade math test would have likely thrown these two wastes of air out of the process.

While it may have kept those two out, crazy cuts across 'plain ol dumb' lines.

I have an uncle. Chemistry degree. Flew nuclear-armed B-52s for the USAF for 20 years.

Also, not just right-wing... actually sees Jesus. Believes in numerology . Sends me DVDs of people drawing diagonal lines around parts of the Greek New Testament that proves that Putin is the antichrist.

Totally, 100%, certifiable. But smart.


Simple solution. Add "Do you believe that anyone alive currently is the antichrist." If they answer yes...yoink.
2012-11-06 07:16:49 PM  
1 vote:
Dad: "Of course Fox News is the only one saying Romney will win, they are the only place that isn't in the tank for the libs".
2012-11-06 07:16:40 PM  
1 vote:

Tziva: jadeblue: I'M SORRY, I HOPE THIS MAKES IT UP TO YOU.

In other news, I'm concerned that that didn't ping me. WHAT OTHER DINOSAUR SHOES AM I MISSING?!


I haven't been getting the notifications since the update Saturday.
2012-11-06 07:16:17 PM  
1 vote:

basemetal: I'll take mah six shooter to ya.


Fartbongo's gonna take that away from ya, then my unicorn is gonna shiat rainbows all over your office!
2012-11-06 07:16:05 PM  
1 vote:
I forgot to take a picture of it, but I found a post-it note stuck to a gas pump a few weeks ago that said this:

October 16th, 2007. $1.93/gallon
October 16th, 2012 (that day's date). $3.69/gallon
How is that hope and change we can believe in?
2012-11-06 07:14:13 PM  
1 vote:
I didn't vote today because....
2012-11-06 07:12:01 PM  
1 vote:
This is the kind of shiat my mom posts to facebook every day:

"We are so close to kicking the muslims and communists out of the White House and Congress...WE CAN DO IT!!! Have them ALL brought up on charges of treason and high crimes!"

"Remember and never forget, obama in his own words said, "I will stand with the Muslims should the political winds shift in an ugly direction." He has proven it. VOTE HIM OUT then have him arrested & charged with the murders of 4 Americans in Libya and 13 in Ft. Hood."

"If any of my conservative FB friends have XXXX as a friend, you need to seriously talk with this young man about how the muslims are here to destroy us, and their leader is obama."

Every. day.
2012-11-06 07:11:08 PM  
1 vote:
The classic "Obama took "In God We Trust!" off of our coins that include a photo of a 2007 George Washington dollar coin's front. (It was moved to the edge under the Bush administration)
2012-11-06 07:10:53 PM  
1 vote:

Silly Jesus: I still can't believe that we still allow ignorant / low information / outright retarded people to vote. Hell, a first grade math test would have likely thrown these two wastes of air out of the process.


While it may have kept those two out, crazy cuts across 'plain ol dumb' lines.

I have an uncle. Chemistry degree. Flew nuclear-armed B-52s for the USAF for 20 years.

Also, not just right-wing... actually sees Jesus. Believes in numerology . Sends me DVDs of people drawing diagonal lines around parts of the Greek New Testament that proves that Putin is the antichrist.

Totally, 100%, certifiable. But smart.
2012-11-06 07:10:27 PM  
1 vote:

ecl: Silly Jesus: 1. Woman on phone at the grocery store. - "Christ is still the King and he has a plan for us. He will cast his vote."
2. Woman behind me in line to vote. - "Votin' is important. I gots to keep my check a comin'."

Guess who each voted for?

I still can't believe that we still allow ignorant / low information / outright retarded people to vote. Hell, a first grade math test would have likely thrown these two wastes of air out of the process.

You regularly show you have no room to talk.


At least I can count to potato.
2012-11-06 07:10:22 PM  
1 vote:
The place I work at is also a polling place. It was very busy all day but one comment that was made stood out. The voter stated that they heard on the radio if you vote a straight Democratic ticket it does not count the vote for Obama. When asked if it changed the vote to Romney she said no it just didn't register a vote for anyone in the presidential race.
Ab3
2012-11-06 07:09:58 PM  
1 vote:
Someone on my FB just said that only Democrats use food stamps...
the mind boggles...
2012-11-06 07:09:57 PM  
1 vote:
Its amazing that everyone is biatching about the derp from the right but ignoring the derp on the left about how mitt is evil rich, when a co worker said that earlier I just asked who among to dems are poor, most are richer than you will ever dream of being.

The derp is strong on both sides, but it doesnt matter since both sides are out to fark us, that fact is only obvious to those on the right who distrust their party but still hate the left for their bullshiat.

Believing in honest politicians is like believing in god, there is never proof on either one but people just cling to their chosen side.
2012-11-06 07:09:57 PM  
1 vote:

REO-Weedwagon: "I tell ya, it's those damn Unions that are gonna ruin 'Merika."


I've heard that one from a retired relative.... who was unionized..... and lives off his union pension....

/not today
//goddamn some of my relatives are stupid
2012-11-06 07:09:35 PM  
1 vote:
My mom, quietly: "I hope Romney wins. You know, Obama is a Muslim. He wears that ring that proves he is.
And, anyway, I'd rather have a Christian in the White House."

So I sent her links to Snopes, debunking the ring thing, and a link to how Mormon beliefs differ from "mainstream" christianity.

She replied (nicely!) with an email "proving" that Snopes was funded by Obama because of some stuff with Kagan.

I sent her back this, and then we stopped trading emails.

/never argued more than that with her, my entire life
//adopted and met her ten years ago for the first time
///csb
2012-11-06 07:08:58 PM  
1 vote:

basemetal: Burn them!


Mind yer manners, Okie, or we'll drag your whole damn state up into the 19th century...
2012-11-06 07:08:30 PM  
1 vote:

theMagni: It would be hilarious if Obama made a speech after re-election:

"Now that I am re-elected, the secret Muslim programs begin! Allah Akbar!

"Just kidding, I'm introducing a tax break for buying handguns."


legitimate lol. I'm stealing that and putting it on my (R) friends facebook walls.
2012-11-06 07:07:49 PM  
1 vote:
rlv.zcache.com
2012-11-06 07:07:40 PM  
1 vote:
I work in a call center. yesterday, I took a call from a business partner who would not stop talking about how everything Obama says is a lie.

Then a coworker today told me a *hilarious* joke: How can you tell when Barack Obama is lying? His lips are moving.

Yes, I live in a battleground state. fark.
2012-11-06 07:07:34 PM  
1 vote:
oh for farks sake. letting the liters in is like letting these 'obscure family member[s]' vote

do what i do with my closet republican dad- try to keep them busy until the polls close. mymymy dad the office is busssssssy to-day!
2012-11-06 07:06:17 PM  
1 vote:
Not all families live up one another's anuses?
ecl [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2012-11-06 07:06:13 PM  
1 vote:

Silly Jesus: 1. Woman on phone at the grocery store. - "Christ is still the King and he has a plan for us. He will cast his vote."
2. Woman behind me in line to vote. - "Votin' is important. I gots to keep my check a comin'."

Guess who each voted for?

I still can't believe that we still allow ignorant / low information / outright retarded people to vote. Hell, a first grade math test would have likely thrown these two wastes of air out of the process.


You regularly show you have no room to talk.
2012-11-06 07:05:59 PM  
1 vote:

megalynn44: I just don't get where that comes from. What instance of reality can they point to to support this assertion?


Glenn Beck, of course. My mother watches that moron assiduously, and hangs off his every word. And not just that moron - Rush Limbaugh & Sean Hannity also toss in their derp, and she rolls it all up and decides that Obama is, indeed, the half-black sekrit Muslim Kenyan Manchurian Candidate anti-Christ they all claim he is, so that's the bad news.

The good news is that she lives in Georgia, calls once every few weeks, and knows enough to not talk politics with me, because she apparently hates being openly mocked.
2012-11-06 07:02:38 PM  
1 vote:

megalynn44: jadeblue: Today I went into the Politics tab for the first time in years.

Oh I'm sorry. Are you ok? Do you need a hug or some hot tea?


You are always so good to me. Thank you.
2012-11-06 07:01:46 PM  
1 vote:

jadeblue: Today I went into the Politics tab for the first time in years.


Oh I'm sorry. Are you ok? Do you need a hug or some hot tea?
2012-11-06 06:59:44 PM  
1 vote:
Mormons = Taliban = Muslim

/amiright?
2012-11-06 06:58:34 PM  
1 vote:
Today I went into the Politics tab for the first time in years.
2012-11-06 06:57:55 PM  
1 vote:
Why is your relative obscure? And why so stupid?
 
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