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(Fark)   Obscure family member today: "I voted for the guy who isn't wrecking the country by forcing us all to be Muslims." Share your derp experiences from either side of the aisle from election day here   (fark.com) divider line 105
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7630 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Nov 2012 at 6:57 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-11-06 06:52:46 PM
8 votes:
My boss and a coworker were talking about all the guns they were going to buy in the next week if Obama gets re-elected because soon it would be illegal to buy them. Then they fantasized about all the killing they'd do when "they come for our guns".

I normally love and respect these people, but something about politics turns people into brainless goobers.
2012-11-06 06:59:30 PM
5 votes:
Whoever wins, we lose.
2012-11-06 06:58:07 PM
5 votes:
I voted for love of country, not revenge.
2012-11-06 11:56:20 PM
4 votes:
I live in Ohio. My parents are Korean, but I was made in America.

This lovely campaign flyer arrived in the mail yesterday AND today.

i.imgur.com

Nice coded language. First, the odd use of the term "reunification", which has special resonance for Koreans.

Then the "Mek-shi-cans are jumping the line ahead of you and your family!"

And the pandering to foreign students who are studying math, science, and engineering, because that's all the Asian brain is good for.

Best of all, the "free tuition at colleges in Massachusetts for good students" line, which obviously means that Romney wants to give my precious kimchi-scented snowflakes a free ride to Harvard, Yale, or MIT.

Here is side 2:

i.imgur.com

Meh, pretty boring "diversity" boilerplate at the top. But what's this at the bottom?

Oh Lordy, Mitt's looking somewhat more... pigmented... than usual. Yellow, even.

And squinty.

And grinning all bucktoothed.

OMG... MITT ROMNEY IS ASIAN... JUST LIKE ME!!!

shiat, if they were trying to depict Romney with stereotypical Asian features, why didn't they just go full retard:

i.imgur.com
2012-11-06 07:09:57 PM
4 votes:
Its amazing that everyone is biatching about the derp from the right but ignoring the derp on the left about how mitt is evil rich, when a co worker said that earlier I just asked who among to dems are poor, most are richer than you will ever dream of being.

The derp is strong on both sides, but it doesnt matter since both sides are out to fark us, that fact is only obvious to those on the right who distrust their party but still hate the left for their bullshiat.

Believing in honest politicians is like believing in god, there is never proof on either one but people just cling to their chosen side.
2012-11-06 06:53:18 PM
4 votes:
I was at an Obama campaign office so pretty much zero derp.
2012-11-06 07:37:05 PM
3 votes:
I'm currently reading this book from 1930 "the dictatorship on trial" . In it, the foreword is written by Winston Churchill. It speaks of the failure of democracy due to universal sufferage. It goes on to praise Franco in Spain and Mussolini in Italy. It claims that charlatans and manipulators get in due to manipulating the masses. It also speaks of an electorate who votes only those that further their personal interests with a welfare state.

It worries me, that 80 years after this book. AFter the blatant failure and endemic evil of dictatorships that this book seems to hold some truth and that the people want to be ruled by malevolent charismatics.

Now, I'm not calling Obama that. I feel he is the lesser of two evils. He's certainly not a power mad, sociopathic VC like Romney. However, he needs to fight the tide so that we don't become the bleak nightmare hellscape of dictatorship or welfare state or even a hybrid of the two.
2012-11-06 07:26:10 PM
3 votes:
LOUD NOISES
2012-11-06 07:25:09 PM
3 votes:

NannerPuss: My boss and a coworker were talking about all the guns they were going to buy in the next week if Obama gets re-elected because soon it would be illegal to buy them. Then they fantasized about all the killing they'd do when "they come for our guns".

I normally love and respect these people, but something about politics turns people into brainless goobers.


I'm going to repeat this again and again (and again.)

Politics does not turn them into brainless goobers. If they believe that shiat, they *are* brainless goobers. They aren't "normally intelligent." They're farking morons.
2012-11-06 07:21:53 PM
3 votes:
My father is a staunch conservative. I'm as liberal as can be. We lead a happy existence together because he hates talking politics. More important to him to talk about good books, good restaurants, his grandchildren, etc. I am so grateful for that when I read threads like this.
2012-11-06 07:05:54 PM
3 votes:

Silly Jesus: 1. Woman on phone at the grocery store. - "Christ is still the King and he has a plan for us. He will cast his vote."
2. Woman behind me in line to vote. - "Votin' is important. I gots to keep my check a comin'."

Guess who each voted for?

I still can't believe that we still allow ignorant / low information / outright retarded people to vote. Hell, a first grade math test would have likely thrown these two wastes of air out of the process.


If we stopped ignorant/low information/outright retarded people from voting then you wouldn't be able to vote and that seems like a shame.
2012-11-06 07:03:24 PM
3 votes:
I can't participate. I am the guy my family would be posting about.


/conscientious abstainer. I won't have the blood they spill on my hands. Not in the War on Terror, the War on Drugs, the War on Privacy, the War on Obesity, the War on Education, etc, etc, ad nauseum
2012-11-07 01:38:19 PM
2 votes:

Callous: I had a friend post on her facebook that she was afraid of Romney because He'll immediately invalidate my marriage (She's a lesbian)


Romney favored a federal marriage amendment that would invalidate her marriage, and would have signed any sort of antigay law Congress might have handed him.

Take away my birth control(Why is a lesbian married to a woman on birth control?)

"Birth control pills" are used for more than birth control. Romney was in favor of permitting employers to leverage employee's private medical and family planning decisions.

Ban abortion nationwide(reminders of Roe v Wade went unacknowledged)

Romney favored litmus-testing judges, and actually committed to appoint only those who would overturn Roe and reject same-sex marriage.

Allow my employer to cut my pay because I'm a woman.

Romney refused to answer the point-blank question of whether he thought women were entitled to equal pay. Instead he veered off into the infamous "binders full of women" tangent.

Your facebook friend may have phrased things inelegantly, but she wasn't even close to derp.
2012-11-07 08:34:59 AM
2 votes:

SkunkWerks: Father_Jack: It turns rational people into farktards because its so flimsily based in facts

While I don't care for Fox, I think you're incorrect about the danger it poses to "rational people". Rational people realize that there isn't a way to relay information without placing some sort of bias on it.

In that sense, Reason dictates that Fox is little more than that concept let to run amok. But even in the best of circumstances, the Rational mind knows that, like a healthy, balanced diet, getting your news from multiple sources, and never taking any one interpretation as law is the least likely to leave you with clogged arteries, an obesity problem, and ultimately congestive heart failure... metaphorically speaking.

That said, Fox is insidious, sure. But like all sticks and stones, it's only as harmful to you as you allow it to be.

Does any rational person confuse an illusion of authority with the assurance of infallibility? I don't think so. I admit, what you call "rational people" and how I think of them may be different. And I think the margin by which this election was won is a statement regarding just how many people respond to rational thinking out there.


Thanks for the reply.

I think fundamentally youre correct in theory, and on paper I agree with you. This is the logical way to gather information and learn about something.

My anecdotal experience is inclined to disagree, however, that this what people do with politics in the US as a country. We do to an extent, but we don't "study" issues as a people. I do think that when one hears the same message over and over and it agrees with your "gut feeling", one becomes disinclined to question and "seek out the truth"; if an idea jives with your instinctive proclivity or hidden sort of dirty little feelings, one often goes with it.

All the men in my family are college educated, 2 out of three with MBAs. Successful businessmen, wealthy upper middle class people. 2 of em are even rather well travelled and well read and *should* be the kind of people who would do what youd say and be analytical. Theyre not.

Theyre Reagan supporting old school southern California / Orange County Republicans. Ive watched them over the past 10 years go from "normal" republicans in favor of efficient govt, lower taxes for small businesses, less red tape etc to being the type of parrots spouting off about the "death panels", seeing all muslims as al qaeda, buying into the entire speel because "it goes with their gut feeling" and is spouted by the same guys who say the things they do know about and agree with in regards to small business, taxes, etc.

I think FOX is death by a thousand cuts. They get you to watch by saying "say no to big govt" "govt efficiency" "low taxes leads to growth" and these other normal, defensible positions. And after a while you start thinking that global warming is a UN conspiracy out to bring US prosperity to a halt because of jealousy.
2012-11-06 10:43:57 PM
2 votes:
I personally have been busy the last two weeks selling off all my spare rifles and a lot of bulk ammo that I have collected over the past few years.

Hillbillies spent all their cash around the 2008 election in a blind panic, driving up rifle and ammo prices. Fast forward a year or two, and when they were out of cash they dumped them all at a loss. To me.
Now they are in buying panic again, and are buying at stupid prices. I am not going to complain. I'll replace it all buying it back from random hillbillies again in a year at half the price.

/one guy from a couple years ago just called me. Sold me an SKS for $150 in 2010, with a few hundred rounds of ammo included. Bought the same rifle back, this time for $350, no ammo. Same dude.
//Probably he will get short on rent or beer money and I'll pick it up again for $200 in six months after he realizes maybe the UN isn't going to come to force us to all be lesbian marxist vegetarians.
2012-11-06 09:14:48 PM
2 votes:
theintelhub.com

"I'm voting for George W Bush, because only he will stop the terrorists from attacking us."
2012-11-06 07:55:23 PM
2 votes:
My obscure family members haven't spoken or emailed me since before the 2008 election. They we're emailing me on a regular basis with all sorts of derp. When I finally had had enough, I made a contribution to Al Franken in their names (they live in MN, I don't). I told them what I had done, and promised to make additional contribution for every political email that they sent me. The problem seems to have been solved.
2012-11-06 07:38:41 PM
2 votes:
"I'm voting dry because selling alcohol isn't Christian."

Yes, we're up for going wet this year - the presidential race has been overshadowed in this county by the arguments over selling alcohol.
2012-11-06 07:38:10 PM
2 votes:

steamingpile: Its amazing that everyone is biatching about the derp from the right but ignoring the derp on the left about how mitt is evil rich, when a co worker said that earlier I just asked who among to dems are poor, most are richer than you will ever dream of being.

The derp is strong on both sides, but it doesnt matter since both sides are out to fark us, that fact is only obvious to those on the right who distrust their party but still hate the left for their bullshiat.

Believing in honest politicians is like believing in god, there is never proof on either one but people just cling to their chosen side.



And here - see - this IS where the division lies. I've been seeing it more and more.
Republicans are conservative Christians.
Democrats may be Christians, but are by and large not following the conservative line.

Neither one of the candidates will solve all of the BIG world problems: Useless wars, out of control deficit, unemployment, etc, etc etc... So that doesn't matter.
But for me... When I saw all those clips about Romney wanting to end Planned Parenthood, and repeal Roe Vs. Wade... That was the game breaker for me.

And btw: In this world in the state that it's in... Do we really want a conservative Christian in the most powerful office on the planet?! When the Muslim world already wants us all dead?! I don't think so. That would just be outrageously f'n stupid. And from some preliminary results, it looks like it's going that way.

This country is full of idiots.
2012-11-06 07:33:32 PM
2 votes:

mpfjr: I voted for Obama because he is black"- Every black person in America

"I voted for Obama because I'm Mexican and want all my family and friends to be given amnesty"-Every Latino in America.


"I voted for Romney because I don't want a president who can dunk or dance better than me" -Every white in America

/Wow this is fun... shouldn't stupidity burn instead of be fun?
2012-11-06 07:29:55 PM
2 votes:
My tea-party boss was biatching today about how his son wasn't allowed to vote because he wasn't registered even though he brought his birth certificate and drivers license with him. I kindly reminded him that you have to register to vote, something you have to go out of your way to do and that it would be voter fraud if he got to vote and wasn't registered.

He shut right up.

/Later he was ranting with the other far right nuts in the office that he heard about there being 12 million illegal voters this year and how his son should be able to vote if they were going to.
2012-11-06 07:29:44 PM
2 votes:
Derpiest election derp that ever derped from my (Catholic--that'll be relevant) cousin:

Obama's a Muslim, hell bent on destroying the country. When I pointed out that a) Obama's not a Muslim, b) the percentage of Muslims who are terrorists is actually quit small compared to the 1.7 billion-ish regular people who aren't extremist murderers who also happen to be Muslim, I got back something along the lines of, "Yes, defend the religion of psychopaths founded by a pedophile. Muhammad was a pedophile and so is everyone that follows him."

Mind you, I'm a Christian and registered Independent - fiscally conservative but socially reasonably liberal. Didn't vote for Obama in '08, didn't vote for him OR Romney today. But I'm pretty anal-retentive about having your facts straight.

So I came back with something like, "Uh... we Christians have our own psychopaths that blow up abortion clinics, blame acts of God/nature on pacts with the devil/Divine judgment/retribution, and slaughter millions in the name of our God. That doesn't make all of us extremist idiots. And speaking of pedophiles, do you really want me to start linking articles with the names of pedophiles in the Catholic Church, since by your logic, anyone who follows a pedophile is also a pedophile? Pretty sure a lot of Catholics would take exception to that one..."
2012-11-06 07:16:46 PM
2 votes:
The "show me your I voted sticker" thread would have been a good green thread.
2012-11-06 07:11:08 PM
2 votes:
The classic "Obama took "In God We Trust!" off of our coins that include a photo of a 2007 George Washington dollar coin's front. (It was moved to the edge under the Bush administration)
2012-11-06 07:11:05 PM
2 votes:

Xanlexian: Whoever wins, we lose.


This.

//Canuck here
//wishing the US the best :-)
2012-11-06 07:10:35 PM
2 votes:

Pitabred: I'm guessing second cousins people rarely talk to, that kind of thing


That's makes them a distant family member, not an obscure one. Do you know what obscure even means? Besides, they're in close enough communication that subby talked to them today.
2012-11-06 07:09:57 PM
2 votes:

REO-Weedwagon: "I tell ya, it's those damn Unions that are gonna ruin 'Merika."


I've heard that one from a retired relative.... who was unionized..... and lives off his union pension....

/not today
//goddamn some of my relatives are stupid
2012-11-06 07:09:46 PM
2 votes:
Ann Rand was not a Christian philosopher.

Surprisingly brilliant anti-derp comment.
ecl
2012-11-06 07:06:13 PM
2 votes:

Silly Jesus: 1. Woman on phone at the grocery store. - "Christ is still the King and he has a plan for us. He will cast his vote."
2. Woman behind me in line to vote. - "Votin' is important. I gots to keep my check a comin'."

Guess who each voted for?

I still can't believe that we still allow ignorant / low information / outright retarded people to vote. Hell, a first grade math test would have likely thrown these two wastes of air out of the process.


You regularly show you have no room to talk.
2012-11-06 07:06:05 PM
2 votes:

Sign some former used car lot owner north of Boston posted about his failed business. I think his business failed because he wasted his money making stupid signs like this.


img10.imageshack.us

2012-11-06 07:04:03 PM
2 votes:
After the past four years in a red state, hearing derp every day (as well as bittersweet yearning for the good old days of the Bush's, Reagan, and slavery) I've given in. I'm going apolitical.
2012-11-06 07:03:19 PM
2 votes:
I voted for the guy who is going to pay me the most sit on my ass and crotch-shoot out a series of career felons

- every democrat ever
2012-11-07 03:29:39 PM
1 votes:
I was sadly disappointed by my Feed, based on the posts leading up to the election.

Late to the game, but here is my favorite:

My hubs summed it best - "if Romney's trajectory was waylaid by Hurricane Sandy, wouldn't it be just like God to use something like weather to influence votes?". We have a sovereign God. This is not surprise or demise but a time to continue to trust Him.
2012-11-07 02:36:36 PM
1 votes:

litmusdragon: Taken from a bible belt dwelling cousin's Facebook page:
"Taken from a friend and I agree 100%: I will vote for the most pro-life candidate, because God hates the shedding of innocent blood (Proverbs 6:17). I will vote for the most pro-Israel candidate because God blesses those who Bless Israel & curses those who don't (Genesis 12:3). I will vote for the most pro-debt reduction candidate, because the borrower is servant to the lender (Proverbs 22:7). I w
ill vote for the most pro-work candidate because God says if a man won't work let him not eat. (2 Thessalonians 3:10) I will vote for the most Pro-Marriage candidate because God is for marriage as defined in (Genesis 2:24). I will vote for the candidate who most closely believes government's purpose is to reward good & punish evil (Romans 13). I will vote based as close as I can on God's Word (2 Timothy 3:16) WILL YOU PRAY FOR THIS NATION AND ITS FUTURE LEADERS TODAY! Our freedoms are at stake!"

In other words, derp derp derpity derp derp derp


What I find interesting about that is there is not a single quote from the Gospels.

Lots of references to the Old Testament, a few to Paul's letters ... but nothing of Jesus' words. Nothing about Matthew 25:31-46. Nothing about Luke 16:18. Nothing about Luke 10:25-37. And definitely nothing about John 18:36.

Does their Christianity have nothing to do with Christ?
2012-11-07 01:48:40 PM
1 votes:
Pre-election derp = Liberals

Post-election derp = Conservatives
2012-11-07 11:45:32 AM
1 votes:
Canadian here, in a sea of Facebook posts jubilant about Obama's victory there was one lone sour grapes post.

From my American Ex :

"Guess we better move to Asia"

I so badly wanted to reply, "Yup, that's a great place for people who don't respect democracy."

But then I remembered she just posted that for attention.

/American Woman
//Get away from me
2012-11-07 11:16:42 AM
1 votes:
I think Donald Trump and Ted Nugent are herping enough derp for all of us today.
2012-11-07 08:18:39 AM
1 votes:

Father_Jack: It turns rational people into farktards because its so flimsily based in facts


While I don't care for Fox, I think you're incorrect about the danger it poses to "rational people". Rational people realize that there isn't a way to relay information without placing some sort of bias on it.

In that sense, Reason dictates that Fox is little more than that concept let to run amok. But even in the best of circumstances, the Rational mind knows that, like a healthy, balanced diet, getting your news from multiple sources, and never taking any one interpretation as law is the least likely to leave you with clogged arteries, an obesity problem, and ultimately congestive heart failure... metaphorically speaking.

That said, Fox is insidious, sure. But like all sticks and stones, it's only as harmful to you as you allow it to be.

Does any rational person confuse an illusion of authority with the assurance of infallibility? I don't think so. I admit, what you call "rational people" and how I think of them may be different. And I think the margin by which this election was won is a statement regarding just how many people respond to rational thinking out there.
2012-11-07 07:43:25 AM
1 votes:

mgshamster: This is from a physician I used to work with:

"I can't believe this race is even close. Obama is out on the road with Springsteen and Jay-Z trying to be cool and Romney is out talking about real issues like creating jobs and drawing larger crowds on his own. I guess Obama voters want America to be more like countries like Spain and Greece and Italy. Less freedom, more regulations, higher taxes, lower growth, higher unemployment and debt. Romney wants to take us back to the ideals that founded this country. Remember liberty. Obama is dividing us into demographics. The fake war on women. He is running on hand-outs to women like $10/month birth control, give aways to unions that are destroying states across the unions, green energy pleas (even after the billions that he gave away to certain green companies with our money), highering teachers (how does the federal government do that?), and taxing the rich (those evil people who have worked hard for their money in a supposedly free country).Yet his record shows he is incompetent, and has failed us as a nation. he has divided us. He is angry, and negative. And he let our Seals and our Ambassador die for no good reason. And things will get worse if he is re-elected."


Yknow this isnt that bad.

It's a rational interpretation of information. The information happens to be false, but at least it's a rational interpretation thereof. This is basically why FOX News is so dangerous. It turns rational people into farktards because its so flimsily based in facts, even people who are able to make rational decisions don't because they don't have good information upon which decisions can be based.
2012-11-07 07:27:00 AM
1 votes:
Much of my life has been surprisingly sedate, politically speaking.

My folks aren't thrilled about Obama winning, at all. But you know, they didn't want Romney either, at all.

Keep in mind, my father is in on those "funny e-mail circles" that are little more than echo-chambers for right-wing talking points. You know? The ones that are at least 50% utter BS by volume? My mother's a devout Catholic, so you know she has to vote for the candidate who isn't "murdering" babies.

Yet neither of them cared enough for Romney to lend him a hand.

Pretty much reaffirms what I've been saying since the Republican Caucus was finally cemented: if the right would kindly stop turning out a bevvy of candidates which more closely resemble the Legion of Doom from the old Superfriends cartoon, we might actually be able to find one candidate among them who actually might be electable.

No, really. The Right just keeps on jumping the damn shark every election. I don't get it. The people who win you elections- whether you're on the Right or Left side of the aisle are those of us who could (all things being equal) vote either way. Why go out of your way to insult their sensibilities? Doesn't make much sense.


That said, the "derpiest" thing to come out of all the political rhetoric being slung around in my life was that my folks felt no one should vote at all to "send the country a message".

I used to say stuff like this when I was, oh I dunno, thirteen, and I had only the vaguest understanding of how our political system works. And make no mistake, I'm not really settled on Obama. If I had a better choice, I might have made it here. But all things considered, he hasn't done a terrible job (save within the padded walls of those aforementioned echo-chambers), and to my mind, he's still a better choice than Romney.

Made me giggle, anyway. My parents' little regression. But more seriously, if in this kind of a race, you can't even win over voters like them, you have a serious image problem. Still waiting for the "sane" Republican party to show it's face here. Haven't given up hope just yet, but man it's disparaging.
2012-11-07 04:28:29 AM
1 votes:
i6.photobucket.com

/not a family member, thank the gods
2012-11-07 04:02:31 AM
1 votes:

MrHappyRotter: "Anybody that votes for Obama deserves what they get".

I still don't know what that means.


HEALTH CARE!
2012-11-07 03:39:34 AM
1 votes:

PyroStock: That reminds me of my sister (except she cannot have kids, so no I'm not your uncle). We are in the kitchen and she starts a new conversation topic saying, "You should read a book."

I'm already reading a book at the time, but curious what book she would recommend or if she's falsely insinuating I don't read. She's known to be nice at first then after your guard is down make low blow "sucker punch" insults. So I calmly ask, "What book should I read?"

She replies as her eyes go wide-eyed crazy, "All of them!"

I smile and politely say, "Ok, I will read all the books."

She then gets upset and calls me crazy as she leaves the house.

 

i48.tinypic.com
2012-11-07 02:47:54 AM
1 votes:

NannerPuss: My boss and a coworker were talking about all the guns they were going to buy in the next week if Obama gets re-elected because soon it would be illegal to buy them.


I am quite happy to sell them lots at inflated prices. When the bravado wears off and the rent is due in a few months, they will sell them at a loss for quick cash, and I'll just resell them again to new rednecks at inflated rates next election. Rinse. Repeat.

/I stopped loathing these morons, and simply made them into a business model.
2012-11-07 01:36:59 AM
1 votes:

mpfjr: I voted for Obama because he is black"- Every black person in America

"I voted for Obama because I'm Mexican and want all my family and friends to be given amnesty"-Every Latino in America.


Actually, I had a conversation with an old Hispanic lady who voted loyally as a Republican since she got her permanent residence via Reagan's amnesty in the '80s. She said that she was not going to vote for Republicans for the first time because of all of the hateful things said about Hispanics during the Republican primaries.

Plus, I'm pretty sure Michael Steele, Herman Cain and Clarence Thomas voted for Romney.
2012-11-07 12:45:16 AM
1 votes:
I have an uncle in Florida who at the age of 45 had a heart attack and began collecting social security disability, retired from his sheriff position and collected the pension from that, as well as continuing to collect his military pension. He told this to my dad (who is the liberal of all liberals) as they took a ride in my uncle's new corvette. He told my dad he really doesn't need the disability checks, but takes them anyway. He remains a staunch republican and he and my dad do not speak anymore due to their political differences. It makes me sad that my dad who has been sick with chrons disease for 40 years will have to work until he dies because he can't afford not to, while this uncle owns brand new cars and boats and has a huge home, but is still sucking off the system. I was on medicaid while pregnant, which automatically qualifies me for food stamps, but I declined them, because I didn't need them.
I don't exactly think Obama is awesome, but lesser of two evils? yeah.
2012-11-06 11:01:09 PM
1 votes:

Pipkin E: My mother told me that god laid it upon her heart to talk to me about voting for Barry-O rather than R-money. And I quote "If you vote for Obama you're voting for the New World Order. He's going to usher in the Antichrist."

To her credit, she doesn't think he's the Antichrist.


Your mother needs to see a psychiatrist.
2012-11-06 10:26:44 PM
1 votes:

Anderson's Pooper: stonicus: Nope.

Yep. I'll put 6 months of TF on the line. 12 months if it happens after a Romney victory.


Given that banks will be closed because of Veterans' Day, and soldiers will be marching in Veterans' Day parades, that's not much of a bet. :p
2012-11-06 10:13:59 PM
1 votes:
How do you even begin to deceive yourself that this is rational thinking? How in the hell is this even a remotely close race? My brain is screaming.
2012-11-06 09:56:56 PM
1 votes:
Someone in line behind me said "Christ!" real loud and one of the poll workers said, "Don't the name of the Lord in vain." I guess there weren't any Freedom from Religion types there or else there would have been a scene.
2012-11-06 09:17:54 PM
1 votes:

Debeo Summa Credo: Umm, subby, I'm calling bullshiat on your headline.

/apologies if im late to the party here or you've already copped to the troll


What specifically about the headline do you find implausible? This is the election that people feel comfortable saying this in public.

/I'd post the image directly, but I've gotten in trouble once already tonight
2012-11-06 08:55:34 PM
1 votes:

Xanlexian: Whoever wins, we lose.


FOUR MOR YEARS!*

of bullshiat from one party or the other
2012-11-06 08:43:17 PM
1 votes:

Smirky the Wonder Chimp: "I tell you, if we get another four years of Obama, the democrats will run an illegal alien in 2016. And the first thing he's gonna do is erase the US-Mexican border."

Another hit from Uncle Wingnut.


Well, if that happened then I guess corporations "shipping our jobs off to Mexico" wouldn't be a problem anymore, right? Bring it on.
2012-11-06 08:40:45 PM
1 votes:

spidermilk: "Obama and his wife are pieces of shiat" and to support this statement she added "the main reason he's in office is bc of his color."

Yep that makes sense because there are so many African Americans in the US. This is coming from a girl who is Mexican. Of course, she also works in a hospital and will not get a flu shot because she FIRMLY believes they give you the flu.

I am so glad today is over because I am a young female engineering working in an office with a bunch of older, white, male engineers. They are all huge Romney supporters and they constantly group up and talk about it. The owner of our company showed me the most hilarious joke which was this:
[3.bp.blogspot.com image 333x400] but with text saying "Democratic National Convention" added.

/hilarious. if you're 75 and unable to use a computer.


Oh wow I'm an engineer too. There are plenty of conservative white guys in my office. Fortunately there is one very intelligent and charismatic black guy who is an obvious Obama supporter so they all kind of keep their derp to themselves.
2012-11-06 08:36:27 PM
1 votes:

Gough: My obscure family members haven't spoken or emailed me since before the 2008 election. They we're emailing me on a regular basis with all sorts of derp. When I finally had had enough, I made a contribution to Al Franken in their names (they live in MN, I don't). I told them what I had done, and promised to make additional contribution for every political email that they sent me. The problem seems to have been solved.


I'm Mudgen, and I approve of this post.
2012-11-06 08:25:43 PM
1 votes:

WhippingBoy: Are you starting to understand?

DEMOCRACY DOES NOT WORK!!!


By "work" it certainly does: it gives people a say in their government.

By "intelligent decision-making by people knowledgeable on the issues"...it's really just proof that the bottom half of the Bell Curve also get to steer the country.
2012-11-06 08:22:17 PM
1 votes:
My relatives don't talk to me about politics. They can't compete with facts and empathy.
2012-11-06 08:09:47 PM
1 votes:

sgt cyanide: oh for farks sake. letting the liters in is like letting these 'obscure family member[s]' vote

do what i do with my closet republican dad- try to keep them busy until the polls close. mymymy dad the office is busssssssy to-day!


I'm a Fark liter 'cause I'm po'. So sue me.
2012-11-06 08:04:55 PM
1 votes:

Kyro: My uncle posted this on Facebook.

[sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net image 850x645]

I have to at least give the creator points for effort.


I don't get it, are they all staring at "The Road We're Traveling"?
2012-11-06 07:55:08 PM
1 votes:

ZzeusS: Gimme The Busket: Female Facebook post: i voted today and they ran out of stickers. I am so pissed! That was the only reason I voted!


Lots of local bars are running 50% off specials for sticker holders. It's a valid reward.


Haha, let me guess, "any and all stickers" because if it was specifically for voting (which this clearly isn't), it would be illegal?
2012-11-06 07:53:18 PM
1 votes:

fusillade762: He didn't seem to notice that I was in the middle of reading this:

[cdn.theatlantic.com image 300x440]


It sounds like that isn't the first book that person failed to notice in his life.
2012-11-06 07:50:21 PM
1 votes:

Gimme The Busket: Female Facebook post: i voted today and they ran out of stickers. I am so pissed! That was the only reason I voted!



Lots of local bars are running 50% off specials for sticker holders. It's a valid reward.
2012-11-06 07:49:42 PM
1 votes:
Are you starting to understand?

DEMOCRACY DOES NOT WORK!!!
2012-11-06 07:43:03 PM
1 votes:
I'm a poll worker in Utah, and a co-volunteer announced during a slow period that she voted for Romney but didn't know why, just that she was told to.
2012-11-06 07:41:17 PM
1 votes:

durbnpoisn: Do we really want a conservative Christian in the most powerful office on the planet?!


Why, is one running?
2012-11-06 07:39:44 PM
1 votes:
I made it a point to not call my father today.

However, back in 2004, as we walked away from the polls, he said to me, "President Bush thanks you for your vote."

All of my derp has come from people I knew in high school who are the kind of Republicans that Republicans look at and put their head in their hands because even they know that these people are not helping.
2012-11-06 07:38:38 PM
1 votes:
"Let us all be thankful that we live in a country where we have the freedom to vote. And let us pray that we will vote in accordance with Jesus' will."

I do not think "freedom" means what they think it means.
2012-11-06 07:38:20 PM
1 votes:

mpfjr: I voted for Obama because he is black"- Every black person in America

"I voted for Obama because I'm Mexican and want all my family and friends to be given amnesty"-Every Latino in America.


I didn't vote for Obama because he's biracial, I voted for him because his platform is in line with my concerns. If Obama wasn't running and someone else was running with the same platform I would vote for him/her because of that, no matter what their skin tone.

Sheesh !!!!!
2012-11-06 07:29:24 PM
1 votes:
My Client today, "If this election goes to the courts I'm shutting down until it is resolved, they are all losers in my book."
2012-11-06 07:28:38 PM
1 votes:
"The country is headed in the wrong direction, we need to fix this economy" - My cousin who collected unemployment while working a jerb.
2012-11-06 07:25:49 PM
1 votes:
Here's some copy pasta of phone conversation with my dad I posted in a previous thread.


dad: You should google "executive orders".

me: Ok pop I'll bite. Why?

dad: Obama has over 900, more than any president ever.

me: That sounds like some crazy email forward shiat there pop.

dad: It's true. Look it up.

me: OK pop, according to the national archives Obama has 140 executive orders so far. Bush II had 291, Clinton had 364, Bush I had 166, Reagan had 381. Obama is on track to be pretty average.

dad: ............

me: Pop?

dad: How's the weather up your way?
2012-11-06 07:24:47 PM
1 votes:

Silly Jesus: Simple solution. Add "Do you believe that anyone alive currently is the antichrist." If they answer yes...yoink.


Technically, the Antichrist would be someone who doesn't believe in god and is actively working to prevent the apocalypse.
2012-11-06 07:23:39 PM
1 votes:
oh, tea.
2012-11-06 07:23:17 PM
1 votes:

Silly Jesus: I still can't believe that we still allow ignorant / low information / outright retarded people to vote


These are the types of people who tend to get all shooty and stabby if they feel like their voice isn't being heard. They get a single vote each and in return the nation gets a stable, though often dysfunctional, government. Plus plenty of otherwise smart people have their brains turn into tapioca when it comes to politics so I'm not sure many of them do a much better job of evaluating the candidates.
2012-11-06 07:23:13 PM
1 votes:
I was campaigning at the polls for Maryland Marriage Equality from 6-2 today. I'm copying this from my facebook because I'm lazy...

The Republican campaigner kept trying to start a fight with me. The No on 6 guy was pretty cool and we would chat at breaks in the people. I was asking a question about ballot measure B here in Montgomery County. She started asking about how it is inequality when god made man and woman and the bible says what marriage is. (If you do not know question B here is taking collective bargaining rights away from police officers.) So I finally rise to the bait and say "Well I'm not the property of my husband many more and a guy can't rape me andaen get tnd tho marry me after giving my Dad silver. At least not yet" She says NO that's not in the Christian Bible that's all Muslims like Obama and started to go OFF about secret Muslim plots and birth certificates and secret gay weddings. She kinda ran out of steam when she saw the No on 6, the No on 5, and the no on B (all fellow Republicans) starting at her like she was nuts. Lady was fine all day after that. It was a fun day but I may not be warm until next year.
2012-11-06 07:21:41 PM
1 votes:

Capt. Sparkles: I forgot to take a picture of it, but I found a post-it note stuck to a gas pump a few weeks ago that said this:

October 16th, 2007. $1.93/gallon
October 16th, 2012 (that day's date). $3.69/gallon
How is that hope and change we can believe in?


Nothing like cherry picking data, huh? I'd have stuck one next to it that said:
August 18, 2008: $4.20/gallon
Today, $_.__/gallon (fill in the blank) (it's 3.25 today across the street)
2012-11-06 07:21:09 PM
1 votes:
I voted for Obama because he is black"- Every black person in America

"I voted for Obama because I'm Mexican and want all my family and friends to be given amnesty"-Every Latino in America.
2012-11-06 07:17:08 PM
1 votes:

ilikeracecars: I didn't vote today because....


I sent my absentee ballot in awhile ago.
2012-11-06 07:16:49 PM
1 votes:
Dad: "Of course Fox News is the only one saying Romney will win, they are the only place that isn't in the tank for the libs".
2012-11-06 07:14:13 PM
1 votes:
I didn't vote today because....
2012-11-06 07:13:46 PM
1 votes:
A few choice ones:

1) I did it for my daughters.
2) You can't call yourself a Christian if you vote for the guy who wants to help the rich instead of increase government assistance for the poor.
3) If you vote for Romney, you hate gays.
4) I woke up early today, scared, and got to the polls as soon as I could.


And my personal favorite:

Voting for third party candidates is for the smug and stupid. At least I was drinking heavily back when I voted for Ross Perot.
2012-11-06 07:12:29 PM
1 votes:

Tziva: WHAT OTHER DINOSAUR SHOES AM I MISSING?!


i526.photobucket.com
2012-11-06 07:09:35 PM
1 votes:
My mom, quietly: "I hope Romney wins. You know, Obama is a Muslim. He wears that ring that proves he is.
And, anyway, I'd rather have a Christian in the White House."

So I sent her links to Snopes, debunking the ring thing, and a link to how Mormon beliefs differ from "mainstream" christianity.

She replied (nicely!) with an email "proving" that Snopes was funded by Obama because of some stuff with Kagan.

I sent her back this, and then we stopped trading emails.

/never argued more than that with her, my entire life
//adopted and met her ten years ago for the first time
///csb
2012-11-06 07:08:22 PM
1 votes:

NannerPuss: My boss and a coworker were talking about all the guns they were going to buy in the next week if Obama gets re-elected because soon it would be illegal to buy them. Then they fantasized about all the killing they'd do when "they come for our guns".

I normally love and respect these people, but something about politics turns people into brainless goobers.


I hear this on a regular basis.
Normally my friends are just low grade crazy, but politics takes them up several orders of magnitude.
2012-11-06 07:07:07 PM
1 votes:
It would be hilarious if Obama made a speech after re-election:

"Now that I am re-elected, the secret Muslim programs begin! Allah Akbar!

"Just kidding, I'm introducing a tax break for buying handguns."
2012-11-06 07:05:59 PM
1 votes:

megalynn44: I just don't get where that comes from. What instance of reality can they point to to support this assertion?


Glenn Beck, of course. My mother watches that moron assiduously, and hangs off his every word. And not just that moron - Rush Limbaugh & Sean Hannity also toss in their derp, and she rolls it all up and decides that Obama is, indeed, the half-black sekrit Muslim Kenyan Manchurian Candidate anti-Christ they all claim he is, so that's the bad news.

The good news is that she lives in Georgia, calls once every few weeks, and knows enough to not talk politics with me, because she apparently hates being openly mocked.
2012-11-06 07:04:41 PM
1 votes:
"(Obama) spent trillions bailing out everything when he could have been spending money improving our military"

The U.S is severely lacking in money spent on military... let me tell ya.
2012-11-06 07:04:39 PM
1 votes:

mikaloyd: Had it changed one iota?


No discernible change.
2012-11-06 07:04:07 PM
1 votes:

NikkiPoooo: themeaningoflifeisnot: Why is your relative obscure? And why so stupid?

Yeah, I don't really understand how subby's family member can be obscure, at least not to subby.


I'm guessing second cousins people rarely talk to, that kind of thing
2012-11-06 07:03:40 PM
1 votes:
From my friends:
*all cars are being made in mexico and china since Obama took office
* how can you care about issues like gay marriage and equal rights when so many people are unemployed?
*Obama is so weak that the international community laughs at us. I'm voting Romney because we're not pussies
*If he lied about Benghazi, what else is he lying about? I can't trust him, so I'm voting Romeny.

/facepalm
2012-11-06 07:03:05 PM
1 votes:
"im not voting becuz i dont want to get trapped into jury duty"
2012-11-06 07:02:58 PM
1 votes:
1. Woman on phone at the grocery store. - "Christ is still the King and he has a plan for us. He will cast his vote."
2. Woman behind me in line to vote. - "Votin' is important. I gots to keep my check a comin'."

Guess who each voted for?

I still can't believe that we still allow ignorant / low information / outright retarded people to vote. Hell, a first grade math test would have likely thrown these two wastes of air out of the process.
2012-11-06 07:02:47 PM
1 votes:
I'm waiting for NOBama to give me my free money the Republicans promised I would get from the last election.
2012-11-06 07:01:51 PM
1 votes:
Posted in another thread, but sharing here as well

i47.tinypic.com 

/A friend came home to his apt in NY City a few weeks ago to find this derp taped to his door
2012-11-06 07:01:46 PM
1 votes:

jadeblue: Today I went into the Politics tab for the first time in years.


Oh I'm sorry. Are you ok? Do you need a hug or some hot tea?
2012-11-06 07:01:08 PM
1 votes:

coco ebert: I was at an Obama campaign office so pretty much zero derp.


You kinda just get used to the derp when you're around it so much.
2012-11-06 06:59:43 PM
1 votes:

jadeblue: Today I went into the Politics tab for the first time in years.

Why

? This is like the worst day possible for that.

I HAD HIGH HOPES FOR YOU JADE WHAT HAPPENED.
2012-11-06 06:58:34 PM
1 votes:
Today I went into the Politics tab for the first time in years.
2012-11-06 06:58:20 PM
1 votes:
i112.photobucket.com
2012-11-06 06:57:55 PM
1 votes:
Why is your relative obscure? And why so stupid?
2012-11-06 06:57:03 PM
1 votes:
Meh, I am inclined not to believe your bull excrement.
2012-11-06 06:52:07 PM
1 votes:
Just look at the TFD lineup. That derp.
2012-11-06 06:51:53 PM
1 votes:
why would an obscure family member interact with you today? are you sure its even your family member and not a homeless person?
2012-11-06 06:50:42 PM
1 votes:
Sooo....they voted for Obama? Awesome.
2012-11-06 06:49:33 PM
1 votes:
I just don't get where that comes from. What instance of reality can they point to to support this assertion?
 
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