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(Fark)   Obscure family member today: "I voted for the guy who isn't wrecking the country by forcing us all to be Muslims." Share your derp experiences from either side of the aisle from election day here   (fark.com) divider line 378
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7640 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Nov 2012 at 6:57 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-07 12:48:55 PM
Ultimate derp is Detroit electing an 8 time felon!!! and they wonder what is wrong with the place, i say its the people living there and this is the proof.

Although it looks like he will fit right in... "Banks, 35, was convicted eight times between 1998 and 2004 of writing bad checks and credit card fraud."
 
2012-11-07 12:55:51 PM

shortymac: Ahhhhhhhh Neocon Theofacist tears, they give me hope!

From my facebook feed this morning:

I will NOT call him president. HE IS NOT MY PRESIDENT. He wasn't my president before this election, he will not be my president this election and he will not be my ex-president. He will not be my king, my ruler.....NOTHING!!!

Welcome to the Socialist of America...the NEWEST THIRD WORLD COUNTRY.


Oh I forget, I used to work with this chick back in high school at a grocery store. She was arrested for stealing a few hundred bucks from the cash register...
 
2012-11-07 01:25:15 PM
More derp:

Derpette is off her soapbox about the horrible outcome of the election in my statues/comments. Doesn't mean I won't post pictures. I will now put it to rest and hope and pray that the right decision was made (gotta have faith). I hope that what everyone says will happen, will happen (gotta have faith). Afterwards, We can finish all theses discussion in 4 yrs when he has yet again done nothing in his 4 yr term. But, in the mean time...on a very good note and a very happy note....HE CAN NOT BE ELECTED FOR A THIRD TERM!!!!! We can celebrate that, and look forward to the end of the next four years. We can overcome the obstacles in the way, because we have a greater power on our side and it is not "the ruler obama", it is God!!!! So, lets all pray, have faith and look forward to no more obama in four years. KARMA IS A biatch! :) #TeamRomney2016
 
2012-11-07 01:38:19 PM

Callous: I had a friend post on her facebook that she was afraid of Romney because He'll immediately invalidate my marriage (She's a lesbian)


Romney favored a federal marriage amendment that would invalidate her marriage, and would have signed any sort of antigay law Congress might have handed him.

Take away my birth control(Why is a lesbian married to a woman on birth control?)

"Birth control pills" are used for more than birth control. Romney was in favor of permitting employers to leverage employee's private medical and family planning decisions.

Ban abortion nationwide(reminders of Roe v Wade went unacknowledged)

Romney favored litmus-testing judges, and actually committed to appoint only those who would overturn Roe and reject same-sex marriage.

Allow my employer to cut my pay because I'm a woman.

Romney refused to answer the point-blank question of whether he thought women were entitled to equal pay. Instead he veered off into the infamous "binders full of women" tangent.

Your facebook friend may have phrased things inelegantly, but she wasn't even close to derp.
 
2012-11-07 01:48:40 PM
Pre-election derp = Liberals

Post-election derp = Conservatives
 
2012-11-07 02:10:52 PM

LazerFish: Romans 13:1 Every person should obey the government in power. No government would exist if it hadn't been established by God. The governments which exist have been put in place by God.

Ive seen this posted by a few friends, im not sure how it interpret this, but it sounds like one of the craziest things in that book.


Holy shiat that is REALLY in the "Bible" and farking terrifying. I got a good explanation behind it, but still....mortifying. This goes against EVERYTHING American!
 
2012-11-07 02:15:52 PM

Gough: My obscure family members haven't spoken or emailed me since before the 2008 election. They we're emailing me on a regular basis with all sorts of derp. When I finally had had enough, I made a contribution to Al Franken in their names (they live in MN, I don't). I told them what I had done, and promised to make additional contribution for every political email that they sent me. The problem seems to have been solved.



I TOTALLY did that with my "The Islamists are trying to force Sharia law on America" spouting father! Every derp, I made a contribution in his name. A couple hundred bucks later, I had an inbox blissfully empty of clear madness.Still full of penis enlargement ads, so, hey. It's a start.
 
2012-11-07 02:16:30 PM

DeathCipris: LazerFish: Romans 13:1 Every person should obey the government in power. No government would exist if it hadn't been established by God. The governments which exist have been put in place by God.

Ive seen this posted by a few friends, im not sure how it interpret this, but it sounds like one of the craziest things in that book.

Holy shiat that is REALLY in the "Bible" and farking terrifying. I got a good explanation behind it, but still....mortifying. This goes against EVERYTHING American!


This Just In: Religion founded by the downtrodden encourages the downtrodden to grin and bear it- says everyone will get what's coming to them, after death.

In Unrelated News: Religion whose central tenets suggest the downtrodden deal with oppression by grinning and bearing it co-opted by oppressors today...
 
2012-11-07 02:16:34 PM
Bunkyb123 Smartest
Funniest
2012-11-07 09:38:57 AM


Brother Birther whining Obama owed him a birth certificate got mad when I told him I don't give a sh** when there are real issues, like children being abused, going hungry, sexually exploited and denied education on a worldwide basis. His best-reasoned respose derp: He's a Muslim.



"Obama is a muslim" - DERP

"Obama's election will stop children around the world from being abused, sexually exploited and denied education" - more DERP


False reasoning, knee-jerk assumption. Nowhere is it implied that voting for any candidate would stop these things. Only that there are more important issues than someone feeling entitled to a piece of paper. Derp yourself.
 
2012-11-07 02:36:36 PM

litmusdragon: Taken from a bible belt dwelling cousin's Facebook page:
"Taken from a friend and I agree 100%: I will vote for the most pro-life candidate, because God hates the shedding of innocent blood (Proverbs 6:17). I will vote for the most pro-Israel candidate because God blesses those who Bless Israel & curses those who don't (Genesis 12:3). I will vote for the most pro-debt reduction candidate, because the borrower is servant to the lender (Proverbs 22:7). I w
ill vote for the most pro-work candidate because God says if a man won't work let him not eat. (2 Thessalonians 3:10) I will vote for the most Pro-Marriage candidate because God is for marriage as defined in (Genesis 2:24). I will vote for the candidate who most closely believes government's purpose is to reward good & punish evil (Romans 13). I will vote based as close as I can on God's Word (2 Timothy 3:16) WILL YOU PRAY FOR THIS NATION AND ITS FUTURE LEADERS TODAY! Our freedoms are at stake!"

In other words, derp derp derpity derp derp derp


What I find interesting about that is there is not a single quote from the Gospels.

Lots of references to the Old Testament, a few to Paul's letters ... but nothing of Jesus' words. Nothing about Matthew 25:31-46. Nothing about Luke 16:18. Nothing about Luke 10:25-37. And definitely nothing about John 18:36.

Does their Christianity have nothing to do with Christ?
 
2012-11-07 02:39:09 PM
my wife's cousin's husband a retired former military former business owner (tea party supporter) on FB:

" America was severly wounded in 2008, and now the fatal shot was fired yesterday. My American flag today hangs at half-staff. "
 
2012-11-07 03:05:03 PM

Worldwalker: What I find interesting about that is there is not a single quote from the Gospels.


I don't find that interesting. I find it entirely predictable. The vengeful, smitey/brimstoney God was primarily the God of the Old Testament

Hippie Jesus does not strike fear into the hearts of people. He also doesn't sell headlines nearly so well.

Who wants to read about loaves and fishes, feeding the needy and healing the sick when you can read about God sending an avenging angel to kill thousands of sinners in one night, eh?
 
2012-11-07 03:29:39 PM
I was sadly disappointed by my Feed, based on the posts leading up to the election.

Late to the game, but here is my favorite:

My hubs summed it best - "if Romney's trajectory was waylaid by Hurricane Sandy, wouldn't it be just like God to use something like weather to influence votes?". We have a sovereign God. This is not surprise or demise but a time to continue to trust Him.
 
2012-11-07 03:34:04 PM

EdNortonsTwin: Relative: Unemployment climbed to highest levels as soon as Obama took office.

Me: Pulling up Department of Labor graphs shows unemployment climbing during the last several months of Bush's terms, and leveling and slowly dropping under Obama within the first 6 mos.


The slide to Derpville can start small. One of my brothers was a Carter fan, served on a Carrier during the Iranian crisis, saw him completely different than we did stateside. Before I actually started researching political things, we differed on the Bush/Gore election, his position being that the great economy was solely due to Gore, and that I didn't have kids so I didn't know anything about the economy. I replied that our loopy sister had 7 kids, so that must mean she was 3.5 times smarter than his two kids made him. He stomped out. In '04, he was a Howard Dean fan, so much so that when Kerry got the nomination, he decided not to vote. Then his daughter got pregnant, and suddenly he was a 1 issue voter. Abortion was evil, and he had now always been pro-life, even though I knew for a fact he had taken at least 2 girlfriends for abortions in his early 20's. Then he started reading those crappy 'Left Behind' novels and gave himself a moral backing for his new beliefs. Then, watching the FAUX News cemented it, especially the Glenn Beck brand of derpity. Now, he freely calls me a 'demoncrat' and will turn the radio off when I get in his car "so your head doesn't explode", like I'M the one who won't listen to opposing views. The last time he got loud about Obama ruining the economy/jobs, I pulled out some printouts of graphs from the CBO and Labor Dept.s, and his response said it all- "I don't care about all those facts, I just know how I FEEL!" And yes, calling CNN the "Communist News Network" is common derp, my former stepmother's current husband in Seattle loves using that term.
 
2012-11-07 03:39:47 PM
Derp is just supposed to replace a person's words.

"Obama is a Muslim" becomes "Derpy derp der".

When you use "derp" in your own sentence, you are actually mocking yourself.

/voted Obama, but bitter about California's local results
 
2012-11-07 03:44:04 PM
A friend posted this to FB just a few minutes ago:

"Last night 60,260,360 Americans (?) decided that murder of innocent babies was ok!"

Me: "Uh...if you think that was the only issue that drove people to vote, I've got news for you."

Him: "i am aware there were other issues. I am aware that Romney was a less than stellar choice to elect but i he may have had better ideas for potentially repairing the problems that digging a bigger hole for the next generation."

Me: "So does that mean if you voted for Obama then you're a murderer?"

Him: "it doesn't make you a murderer but it may just mean that people gave consent to abortion being O.K. Just because abortion is a law doesn't make it a good law. God said something about the shedding of innocent blood (on purpose). Voting for it is giving it your approval to it!"

Him: "I think maybe the financial issues in this country stem from the lack of morals on the national level! Your thoughts! The Bible says, Righteousness exalts a nation but sin is a reproach to any people."
 
2012-11-07 03:55:11 PM
Where_is_your_god_now
16 hours ago via Twitter

GObama!!

Uncle

You just wait and see what happens Where_is_your_god_now. Its not gonna be pretty

9 hours ago via mobile

Where_is_your_god_now

No, it's not going to be pretty... The House Republican majority will put up a fight against getting any sort of meaningful fiscal legislation passed, and it will get nasty. Compromises will get made, so that the legislation that is finally passed doesn't do nearly what it should, and Obama will catch the blame for it.

Not a whole lot is going to change in the political climate from the past 4 years. Obama will continue to incrementally improve the economy, as he has for the last 4 years, and by the end of his last term, maybe we will have finally recovered from the disaster that was the Bush presidency.

4 hours ago · Like

Uncle

Still blaming somebody else. Tell me what bush did to ruin the economy

4 hours ago via mobile · Like

Where_is_your_god_now

That's a list too long to get into. But it's a very simple point to prove... Look at where the economy was when Bush took office, and look where it was when he left office; He left a big mess to clean up. Sure, there were other factors, and it wasn't JUST Bush, but he was a big contributing factor. Hell, even the republican attack ads I've been seeing for the last several months admitted that Bush left a big mess to clean up. Half of the ads that I saw were to the effect of 'You voted Obama into office in hopes that he would fix the economy after the crash that happened under president Bush, but even though we're back to almost pre-2008 economic levels, he hasn't fixed it fast enough'.

(And yes, I realize that the links below don't prove anything. I'm sure you could find sources that say the exact opposite easily enough. I'm just using them to illustrate my point)

http://www.pasadenacarealestatehomes.com/blog/then-and-now-economy-co m parison-2000-vs-2008/
http://www.tax.com/taxcom/taxblog.nsf/permalink/chas-89lpz9
http://seekingalpha.com/article/132884-u-s-mortgage-market-2000-2008- t he-reason-we-re-in-today-s-economic-mess

4 hours ago · Like

Uncle

The housing crisis is what took the economy down that was created by the dumocrates trying to help those who could not afford to buy a home all led by barney frank

4 hours ago via mobile · Like

Where_is_your_god_now

While I respect your right to your opinion, I disagree with that assessment of the housing crisis. Regardless, the economy has come a long way from 2008, and that's pretty hard to deny. I hope that similar progress is made over the next 4 years, and believe that this country can come together and do it. I also believe that Obama was the right choice to lead us to that end... But, as with all else, only time will tell. President Obama won the election fair and square, as did the republicans who still make up the majority in the house. I hope that both parties can set aside their differences, and do what needs to be done to keep the country on the road to economic recovery.

4 hours ago · Like

Uncle

Dont forget i still love ya and i am still proud of you

4 hours ago via mobile · Like

Where_is_your_god_now

Thanks, and the same back to you :-). We may not agree on politics, but at least we're both involved, and have an opinion. I know too many people that don't know enough about the issues to even come close to making an educated choice. I was proud of my little sister for taking an interest in this election, and doing the research that she needed to be able to make an informed choice.

4 hours ago · Like

Friend of Where_is_your_god_now

Mmm...popcorn...(That is all...I stay away from these discussions.)

3 hours ago · Like 
 
2012-11-07 04:20:44 PM
I heard the n word being thrown around a lot. However, I live in Harlem and they might have been referring to themselves, not the POTUS.
 
2012-11-07 04:29:10 PM

Silent But Deadly: Silly Jesus: 1. Woman on phone at the grocery store. - "Christ is still the King and he has a plan for us. He will cast his vote."
2. Woman behind me in line to vote. - "Votin' is important. I gots to keep my check a comin'."

Guess who each voted for?

I still can't believe that we still allow ignorant / low information / outright retarded people to vote. Hell, a first grade math test would have likely thrown these two wastes of air out of the process.

What is ignorant or retarded about that? They are voting in their own best interests, however much you might disagree. Seems rather informed to me. I don't agree with it myself, but you did not give a very good example of ignorant or retarded.


I'll concede your point on the second quote...but you don't think that someone basing their vote on their conversations with their imaginary sky wizard is the very definition of ignorant / retarded?

The woman taking everyone else's money actually has the game figured out...so yeah, I retract my previous accusation concerning her.
 
2012-11-07 04:38:24 PM
I had no intentions of posting to this thread, but the uncle it reminded me of recently got facebook and posted this gem 15 minutes ago.

"ok. enough of the bs. if u dont speak english get the f out of our country. period. hows that for ya you all? germans should have won world war two. again. period. we make our kids learn their speach? but they dont have to ours anymore? are we really america or just pretending? just my thoughts right now."


/sigh
 
2012-11-07 04:55:56 PM

pedalphile: EdNortonsTwin: Relative: Unemployment climbed to highest levels as soon as Obama took office.

Me: Pulling up Department of Labor graphs shows unemployment climbing during the last several months of Bush's terms, and leveling and slowly dropping under Obama within the first 6 mos.

The slide to Derpville can start small. One of my brothers was a Carter fan, served on a Carrier during the Iranian crisis, saw him completely different than we did stateside. Before I actually started researching political things, we differed on the Bush/Gore election, his position being that the great economy was solely due to Gore, and that I didn't have kids so I didn't know anything about the economy. I replied that our loopy sister had 7 kids, so that must mean she was 3.5 times smarter than his two kids made him. He stomped out. In '04, he was a Howard Dean fan, so much so that when Kerry got the nomination, he decided not to vote. Then his daughter got pregnant, and suddenly he was a 1 issue voter. Abortion was evil, and he had now always been pro-life, even though I knew for a fact he had taken at least 2 girlfriends for abortions in his early 20's. Then he started reading those crappy 'Left Behind' novels and gave himself a moral backing for his new beliefs. Then, watching the FAUX News cemented it, especially the Glenn Beck brand of derpity. Now, he freely calls me a 'demoncrat' and will turn the radio off when I get in his car "so your head doesn't explode", like I'M the one who won't listen to opposing views. The last time he got loud about Obama ruining the economy/jobs, I pulled out some printouts of graphs from the CBO and Labor Dept.s, and his response said it all- "I don't care about all those facts, I just know how I FEEL!" And yes, calling CNN the "Communist News Network" is common derp, my former stepmother's current husband in Seattle loves using that term.


IMHO I think Fox News brainwashes people, kinda like how infowars does. They just simply stop listening to anything else and let it become dogma.

Hell, my Dad has been a hardcore republican since Reagan, hell one of my brother's middle names is Reagan. But as he's been watching Fox news 24/7 he's been getting much much worse.

I live in Toronto now and all the time while they visited my Dad was pointing out tan people and asking me if they were a modern muslim. No, I think they FARKING ITALIAN OR MAYBE SOME KIND OF SPANIshia

the extra layer of hilarity is that my Dad is "Black Irish" aka "those who tan", his whole life people have doubted that he was Irish (both parents are from Ireland) because "Irish people don't get that dark". He was pulled out of line in Aussie customs because they thought he was Mexican.

We agreed not to talk about politics anymore and I avoid the topic even if my Dad tries to bait me from time to time.
 
2012-11-07 05:40:15 PM

shortymac: MAYBE SOME KIND OF SPANIshia

the extra layer of hilarity


Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo the filter.
 
2012-11-07 05:56:00 PM
Friend: Well I guess the good news is that the major stroke my dad is probably having right now will be covered by Obamacare.
Friend's Dad: I'd rather go ahead and die.
Friend's Dad: A travesty of eternal proportions. A free people willingly choose a man dedicated to our destruction. I am dumbfounded.

----------
Friend's Dad: I am sick. I am appalled. I am overwhelmed with grief for our country. It kills me to think that America, the city on a hill, the greatest nation in history, has to be destroyed at our own hand as part of the Lord's plan to conclude the history of planet Earth, but it is the only explanation that gives me any solace. This election is just the latest step in a downward spiral that has been going on for decades, but it is a huge one. Electing Romney, while the vastly better choice, would not have meant the end to all our moral, fiscal and other problems, but re-electing Obama is certainly a step further down into the pit. Come Lord Jesus.

----------
Other Friend: To those of you who are disappointed with the election and now ranting that you're "so glad the world will be ending soon"... Stop it. You are entitled to your beliefs, but as a woman pregnant with my first child and due AFTER the world is supposed to explode or whatever, it's upsetting. To be perfectly honest, it actually hurts my feelings. All it sounds like to me is a bunch of stompy footing about your horse not winning, and you'd rather my child have no chance at life than put up with a president you don't like. You will never be happy with everything going on it our government. Neither will I. I didn't like either candidate. Of course I'm worried for my son's future, but (husband) and I will find a way to give him a happy life, government be damned. So please just think before you post, or if you just can't stop yourself, delete me. I'm not putting up with a bunch of people praying for the world to end, because for the first time in years I feel like I really have something to live for.
 
2012-11-07 06:38:40 PM
Various "Deep Thoughts"

**********************
"If you're old, you can cry, laugh, or both. If you're young (or have children and grandchildren you care about) prepare for what's to come. We just crossed the Rubicon."

i.imgur.com

**********************
Well, my prediction was wrong - America is in much, much worse shape than I imagined. God is still in control, but we are clearly a nation of fools! Lord, have mercy!

**********************
TRAITOR NATION: special thanks to all you immoral traitors who voted for Obama --- thanks guys!!!! Hopefully the collapse of this nation happens quickly and when it does (not IF you f*ckers) I hope you have the balls to be the first in line to take the hits; you deserve the worst of it

**********************
 
2012-11-07 07:26:04 PM

Don't Troll Me Bro!: //goddamn some of my relatives are stupid


We can see the proof.
 
2012-11-07 07:36:21 PM

Off2403: skinink: Sign some former used car lot owner north of Boston posted about his failed business. I think his business failed because he wasted his money making stupid signs like this.
[img10.imageshack.us image 800x600]

There's no way money was spent on that sign!


It's called opportunity cost and he is right.
 
2012-11-07 08:07:37 PM

StoPPeRmobile: Off2403: skinink: Sign some former used car lot owner north of Boston posted about his failed business. I think his business failed because he wasted his money making stupid signs like this.
[img10.imageshack.us image 800x600]

There's no way money was spent on that sign!

It's called opportunity cost and he is right.


It was a joke.
 
2012-11-08 06:19:37 AM

Novart: Derp de derp derpderp de derpder p derping derps.


Better?
 
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