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(Fark)   Obscure family member today: "I voted for the guy who isn't wrecking the country by forcing us all to be Muslims." Share your derp experiences from either side of the aisle from election day here   (fark.com) divider line 378
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7620 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Nov 2012 at 6:57 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-06 07:49:42 PM
Are you starting to understand?

DEMOCRACY DOES NOT WORK!!!
 
2012-11-06 07:50:01 PM

NannerPuss: My boss and a coworker were talking about all the guns they were going to buy in the next week if Obama gets re-elected because soon it would be illegal to buy them. Then they fantasized about all the killing they'd do when "they come for our guns".

I normally love and respect these people, but something about politics turns people into brainless goobers.


What gets me is they want the guy who signed a big anti-gun ownership bill in to law against the guy who loosened Federal regulations on firearms. It makes little sense, but then again it comes from having a fact free mindset.
 
Rie
2012-11-06 07:50:14 PM
I was in front of a kid who was really excited about voting next time "in 2017, four years from now."
 
2012-11-06 07:50:21 PM

Gimme The Busket: Female Facebook post: i voted today and they ran out of stickers. I am so pissed! That was the only reason I voted!



Lots of local bars are running 50% off specials for sticker holders. It's a valid reward.
 
2012-11-06 07:50:27 PM
From my FB feed:

"@ the polls. The guy behind me is wearing a pro 2nd amendment shirt. Isn't that bordering on voter intimidation?"
 
2012-11-06 07:50:31 PM
Back during the 2004 election, my mother ended up on the phone with a pollster asking who she planned to vote for. Being a Jehovah's Witness, my mother doesn't vote. (The theory is that Jesus is meant to be King of Earth in the long run, so there's no point to voting for humans in the meantime.) She didn't explain this, and simply said "I voted for Jesus."

There was a pause, then the woman on the other end of the line attempted to confirm, "So... Bush?"
 
2012-11-06 07:50:42 PM

drdonks: My tea-party boss was biatching today about how his son wasn't allowed to vote because he wasn't registered even though he brought his birth certificate and drivers license with him. I kindly reminded him that you have to register to vote, something you have to go out of your way to do and that it would be voter fraud if he got to vote and wasn't registered.

He shut right up.

/Later he was ranting with the other far right nuts in the office that he heard about there being 12 million illegal voters this year and how his son should be able to vote if they were going to.


LOL

I think 12 million is close to the total estimated number of illegal immigrants residing here. It's probably more like 8 million now though.
 
2012-11-06 07:51:37 PM

fusillade762: My (older, white) neighbor struck up a conversation with me one day and asked about my job hunt. I told him I hadn't found anything yet and he said "Well, hopefully in November we'll kick that n*gger out of office and things can get back to normal".


"Listen man, I don't like Biden either, but there's no need for name calling!"
 
2012-11-06 07:52:48 PM

ManRay: So I never found out want I wanted to know.


Au contraire; I think you found out exactly what you needed to know.

precia: Back during the 2004 election, my mother ended up on the phone with a pollster asking who she planned to vote for. Being a Jehovah's Witness, my mother doesn't vote. (The theory is that Jesus is meant to be King of Earth in the long run, so there's no point to voting for humans in the meantime.) She didn't explain this, and simply said "I voted for Jesus."

There was a pause, then the woman on the other end of the line attempted to confirm, "So... Bush?"


*snorts*
 
2012-11-06 07:53:18 PM

fusillade762: He didn't seem to notice that I was in the middle of reading this:

[cdn.theatlantic.com image 300x440]


It sounds like that isn't the first book that person failed to notice in his life.
 
2012-11-06 07:54:04 PM
Obama is a Keynesian. No, that doesn't mean he's from Africa.
 
2012-11-06 07:54:25 PM
i.imgur.com 

I don't know which is funniest. The addition of taxes to pay for sex-change ops (pro-tip: laws are written by the Congress. The House has a Republican majority)? The lie about the power of God being in the Constitution ("no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States." - Article VI of that Constitution)? Or the idea that God wants America to do well, but only if enough people bow down and change his mind? Tolerance is a bad thing for the religious?

I'm going with font mania! Bold! Italic! Change CASE! Change the size!

It comes from a number that, when Googled, is from a known telemarketer. Way to guarantee you piss people off, Bible Bashers!
 
2012-11-06 07:55:08 PM

ZzeusS: Gimme The Busket: Female Facebook post: i voted today and they ran out of stickers. I am so pissed! That was the only reason I voted!


Lots of local bars are running 50% off specials for sticker holders. It's a valid reward.


Haha, let me guess, "any and all stickers" because if it was specifically for voting (which this clearly isn't), it would be illegal?
 
2012-11-06 07:55:23 PM
My obscure family members haven't spoken or emailed me since before the 2008 election. They we're emailing me on a regular basis with all sorts of derp. When I finally had had enough, I made a contribution to Al Franken in their names (they live in MN, I don't). I told them what I had done, and promised to make additional contribution for every political email that they sent me. The problem seems to have been solved.
 
2012-11-06 07:55:40 PM
Not derp, but kinda csb..

Old guy (maybe 80-ish) at the head of the line was having problems because they couldn't find him as being registered, though they apparently found his wife. So they asked him when the last time he voted.

He answered "1976".

/csb
 
2012-11-06 07:58:28 PM

NikkiPoooo: themeaningoflifeisnot: Why is your relative obscure? And why so stupid?

Yeah, I don't really understand how subby's family member can be obscure, at least not to subby.


Subtard wanted to say 'random', but realized how farking stupid that would sound.
 
2012-11-06 07:58:53 PM
I have a stockbroker friend who explained very smugly the problem with obamacare that all the experts missed apparently and the reason he is voting Romney; "since people can't be denied coverage for preexisting conditions they will pay the $95 penalty for not having insurance and wait until they get really sick to sign up. This means all our premiums are going to go up since people won't be paying into the system until they need to."

He was really proud of this analysis and...smug. Like he was the expert finance guy who had seen through all the bull the dems were putting out and knew the truth.

I didn't want to get into an argument about healthcare since it is so complex none of us truly understand it all and the argument will be never ending, but I did explain that every analysis of obamacare has shown it will increase the number of insured, not decrease it. He made some snide and dismissive remarks but didn't actually address anything I said, I'm guessing because he no factual response to anything I said.
 
2012-11-06 07:59:22 PM

skinink: Sign some former used car lot owner north of Boston posted about his failed business. I think his business failed because he wasted his money making stupid signs like this.
[img10.imageshack.us image 800x600]


Do you know the name of this lot? I think I know who this is, and he is an asshat.
 
2012-11-06 07:59:38 PM
I had someone complain about lower gas prices:

"I'm so disgusted that they can lower the price for elections, but when we are in a recession and in desperate need they jack it up so people can't afford to go anywhere. I don't understand it and I'm upset with the gas stations that are offering it. I want to know how all this works. Does anyone know how it's possible to lower it so much, is anyone losing money?"
 
2012-11-06 08:00:14 PM

ManRay: Her: "Oh. Georgia sucks too."


wat
 
2012-11-06 08:00:25 PM
Well no matter who wins, at least this time around even though there were folks waiting on me and upset I was late, I VOTED. Actually I don't thik that's DERP, but last time around I got lazy and hated myself for it so maybe that's DERP. What is DERP anyway? Ironic? Stupid? Something Obama did? Something RMoney did? Actually I'll go DERP. DEEP DERP: I just came home and changed my wifi SSD to

DontBlameMeIVotedForTheWhiteGuy

Reckon that's pretty derpy
 
2012-11-06 08:01:20 PM
I had a long car ride with the BFF. Way too much like of incoherent thought to remember or document.

What I remember. Romney is right. FEMA is worthless. "You ever get anything from FEMA?" Because HE was able to get $n000s for each of his 6 buildings "just by submitting the claim forms. No questions asked. THEY WRITE YOU A CHECK RIGHT HERE!"
 
2012-11-06 08:01:43 PM
My uncle posted this on Facebook.

sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net

I have to at least give the creator points for effort.
 
2012-11-06 08:04:16 PM
My father-in-law replied when asked who he voted for said, "I voted for the American guy." Birther.... derp.
 
2012-11-06 08:04:32 PM

ManRay: Her: "Oh. Georgia sucks too."


To be fair, this isn't exactly an inaccurate statement. If the Republicans win a super majority tonight, it's going to be interesting to see if they actually start making all the laws and constitutional amendments they've been promising but claim the Democrats have blocked. Now there will be no one to stop them from being held responsible for all the things they claim they are for.
 
2012-11-06 08:04:55 PM

Kyro: My uncle posted this on Facebook.

[sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net image 850x645]

I have to at least give the creator points for effort.


I don't get it, are they all staring at "The Road We're Traveling"?
 
2012-11-06 08:05:39 PM
My dumb coont mother told me she can't vote for Obama because, amongst other things, "he doesn't care". When pressed further, not only does she fully believe that Rmoney cares about the little people, but she also said some stuff that would've invited a Secret Service visit if I had been so inclined.

/she's a dumb farking twat
 
2012-11-06 08:06:40 PM

megalynn44: I just don't get where that comes from. What instance of reality can they point to to support this assertion?


Asked,
i651.photobucket.com

And answered.

// official "News" of the
// American Taliban
 
2012-11-06 08:09:21 PM

Don't Troll Me Bro!: Capt. Sparkles: I forgot to take a picture of it, but I found a post-it note stuck to a gas pump a few weeks ago that said this:

October 16th, 2007. $1.93/gallon
October 16th, 2012 (that day's date). $3.69/gallon
How is that hope and change we can believe in?

Nothing like cherry picking data, huh? I'd have stuck one next to it that said:
August 18, 2008: $4.20/gallon
Today, $_.__/gallon (fill in the blank) (it's 3.25 today across the street)


How about we go with your date then:
August 18, 2008: 6.1% unemployment, 66.1% participation rate
Today: 7.9% unemployment, 63.8% participation rate

Is this how the game works?
 
2012-11-06 08:09:47 PM

sgt cyanide: oh for farks sake. letting the liters in is like letting these 'obscure family member[s]' vote

do what i do with my closet republican dad- try to keep them busy until the polls close. mymymy dad the office is busssssssy to-day!


I'm a Fark liter 'cause I'm po'. So sue me.
 
2012-11-06 08:09:54 PM
My in-laws: "If the city goes crazy because of the election, we may be heading up there to be safe."

2008, ar15.com: "What rifle are you carrying in your trunk because of the rioting when Obama loses?"

There's derp everywhere. I hope Romney wins (yeah, wrong site to say that), but I'm assuming Obama wins and I don't believe, as my in-laws believe, that he will make religion illegal.
 
2012-11-06 08:10:22 PM
One of my students told me that Barack Obama's father is not the one listed on his birth certificate. His biological father is a Communist, making him one too.

You see, when Obama's mother was knocked up by a black Communist, her dad was so pissed that he had to find a man who could stand in as the biological dad. He finds Barack Obama's dad--the one listed on the birth certificate--and through his connections at the State Department, gets this PhD student's visa changed into a resident visa and gets him to marry his already pregnant daughter, thereby making his soon-to-be-born grandchild (Obama) a Muslim, but not a Communist.

Then he tells me that if Obama is reelected, he is going to work with Hillary Clinton to ban the sale of all forms of ammunition for guns of any kind. So he is going to invest in the equipment to make his own bullets. And he is going to buy as many kinds of guns as possible as they will soon work to make the sale of guns illegal--since you cannot own the ammunition, there is no reason to have the guns the bullets go in.
 
2012-11-06 08:10:41 PM

Kyro: My uncle posted this on Facebook.

[sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net image 850x645]

I have to at least give the creator points for effort.


Wow, how did they manage to spell everything correctly? Mechanical Turk? 

i651.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-06 08:11:09 PM

assjuice: NikkiPoooo: themeaningoflifeisnot: Why is your relative obscure? And why so stupid?

Yeah, I don't really understand how subby's family member can be obscure, at least not to subby.

Subtard wanted to say 'random', but realized how farking stupid that would sound.


What is the right word for "infrequently communicated with." I almost want to say distant, but that implies their actual relation. Anyone?
 
2012-11-06 08:11:20 PM

ElBarto79: I have a stockbroker friend who explained very smugly the problem with obamacare that all the experts missed apparently and the reason he is voting Romney; "since people can't be denied coverage for preexisting conditions they will pay the $95 penalty for not having insurance and wait until they get really sick to sign up. This means all our premiums are going to go up since people won't be paying into the system until they need to."


This is true for single, childless, adult, males aged 18-30. The good news is very few of them get sick so it won't matter at least that is what my hospital administrator friend told me. She explained the majority of men in their 20s just don't go to the doctor, ever, and when they do go it is cheaper for them to pay the going clinic rates than to carry insurance.

So that narrow demographic will just keep on keeping on and the few that do come down with a serious condition will buy into the system after diagnosis,however the actuarial tables on that say then number is so small that it will cost each insured person $0.005 a year. So see he was right.

/All this info is based on figures a friend gave me while playing pool after work so it could be bullshiat.
 
2012-11-06 08:12:25 PM

NeoBad: Well no matter who wins, at least this time around even though there were folks waiting on me and upset I was late, I VOTED. Actually I don't thik that's DERP, but last time around I got lazy and hated myself for it so maybe that's DERP. What is DERP anyway? Ironic? Stupid? Something Obama did? Something RMoney did? Actually I'll go DERP. DEEP DERP: I just came home and changed my wifi SSD to

DontBlameMeIVotedForTheWhiteGuy

Reckon that's pretty derpy


It was only then that I realized that, in theory, my SSID could be as obscene as I wanted it to be, and nobody would really be able to do anything about it.

/ Would they?
 
2012-11-06 08:12:56 PM
No derp today, but I've been dealing with some in the past few months. One person, who shall remain anonymous, thinks Obama might be the Anti-Christ and is fond of sending out conspiracy theory emails periodically. Another is much more intelligent, but still thinks Obama is going to raise his taxes. When I told him that tax rates for his bracket actually went down, he replied, "Have you seen what's coming?" Presumably that means Obama hasn't done it yet, but will, because... well, who knows? He didn't have anything to back it up, but is still convinced.

The latter is smart, but I think misled. The former is a loving woman, but a serious nut.
 
2012-11-06 08:13:08 PM
"I hope Obama wins again. I think that he should make those rich people give all that extra money back to the government and spread it out to everyone. No one needs more that $200,000. Think how much better it will be after that."
 
2012-11-06 08:14:23 PM

Kyro: My uncle posted this on Facebook.

sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net

I have to at least give the creator points for effort.



That is one of the more reasoned political graphics I have seen.
 
2012-11-06 08:14:29 PM

Spirit Hammer: "I hope Obama wins again. I think that he should make those rich people give all that extra money back to the government and spread it out to everyone. No one needs more that $200,000. Think how much better it will be after that."


Well.. to be fair, if one were to give me $200,000 I would volunteer to abstain from all further political discussion for life.
 
2012-11-06 08:20:47 PM

ilikeracecars: I didn't vote today because....


i didnt vote in 2008 because i had just moved.

/i still feel like a dipshiat because of it.

//mrs vexed thespian doesnt vote
 
2012-11-06 08:21:11 PM
(Topic of conversation was long lines for early voters) "Early voting is stupid. Why don't they just wait till election day?"
 
2012-11-06 08:22:17 PM
My relatives don't talk to me about politics. They can't compete with facts and empathy.
 
2012-11-06 08:24:47 PM

ProfessorOhki: What is the right word for "infrequently communicated with." I almost want to say distant, but that implies their actual relation. Anyone?


That's what I went with upthread. I think distant could mean either something like "my mothers second cousin twice removed" regardless of how close you are with them, or it could mean that you just aren't close with them regardless of how much common blood you share.
 
2012-11-06 08:25:43 PM

WhippingBoy: Are you starting to understand?

DEMOCRACY DOES NOT WORK!!!


By "work" it certainly does: it gives people a say in their government.

By "intelligent decision-making by people knowledgeable on the issues"...it's really just proof that the bottom half of the Bell Curve also get to steer the country.
 
2012-11-06 08:25:55 PM
"Obama and his wife are pieces of shiat" and to support this statement she added "the main reason he's in office is bc of his color."

Yep that makes sense because there are so many African Americans in the US. This is coming from a girl who is Mexican. Of course, she also works in a hospital and will not get a flu shot because she FIRMLY believes they give you the flu.

I am so glad today is over because I am a young female engineering working in an office with a bunch of older, white, male engineers. They are all huge Romney supporters and they constantly group up and talk about it. The owner of our company showed me the most hilarious joke which was this:
3.bp.blogspot.com but with text saying "Democratic National Convention" added.

/hilarious. if you're 75 and unable to use a computer.
 
2012-11-06 08:27:44 PM
 
2012-11-06 08:28:15 PM

Your Average Witty Fark User: /she's a dumb farking twat


do it- if anything, her crazy can only increase
 
2012-11-06 08:32:28 PM

Tom_Slick: ElBarto79: I have a stockbroker friend who explained very smugly the problem with obamacare that all the experts missed apparently and the reason he is voting Romney; "since people can't be denied coverage for preexisting conditions they will pay the $95 penalty for not having insurance and wait until they get really sick to sign up. This means all our premiums are going to go up since people won't be paying into the system until they need to."

This is true for single, childless, adult, males aged 18-30. The good news is very few of them get sick so it won't matter at least that is what my hospital administrator friend told me. She explained the majority of men in their 20s just don't go to the doctor, ever, and when they do go it is cheaper for them to pay the going clinic rates than to carry insurance.

So that narrow demographic will just keep on keeping on and the few that do come down with a serious condition will buy into the system after diagnosis,however the actuarial tables on that say then number is so small that it will cost each insured person $0.005 a year. So see he was right.

/All this info is based on figures a friend gave me while playing pool after work so it could be bullshiat.


The argument I didn't want to get into is that he was partly right, our health insurance costs ARE going to increase, but it's going to be much less due to people gaming obamacare and much more due to health care costs exploding, which is something obamacare doesn't really address. So to me the decision is simple; without obamacare our insurance costs go up, with obamacare our insurance costs will still go up but 30 million more people will have insurance.

The thing is healthcare is so convoluted and complex it's difficult to really understand it and break it down into digestible bits so I didn't even want to get into it...but I stand by my opinion that his "expert" analysis of it was straight derp.
 
2012-11-06 08:32:36 PM
The pro-Romney cousin who regularly posts mean status updates about welfare recipients. I wonder if any of his friends know that Medicaid is paying for his kid's braces.
 
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