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(The Detroit_News)   Man dies at polling location, gets revived, then votes. If he had voted while dead, he probably would have been a Democrat   (detroitnews.com) divider line 102
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9254 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Nov 2012 at 5:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-06 04:48:24 PM  
Or from Chicago...

Same thing really.
 
2012-11-06 05:02:11 PM  
Old joke is old, subby.
 
2012-11-06 05:02:43 PM  
"It was God's divine word that I be there. Originally, I was just going skip the ballot and just go to lunch that day," Houston said.

Instead of making you go vote, wouldn't it be simpler just for God not to give the guy a heart attack?
 
2012-11-06 05:03:04 PM  
lol you guys and politics
 
2012-11-06 05:03:15 PM  
If he had voted while dead, he probably would have been a Democrat and alphabetically

FIFY.

//This is the reason Halloween and Election Day are never the same. Cemetaries are very busy on election day.
 
2012-11-06 05:05:03 PM  

Bondith: "It was God's divine word that I be there. Originally, I was just going skip the ballot and just go to lunch that day," Houston said.

Instead of making you go vote, wouldn't it be simpler just for God not to give the guy a heart attack?


God works in confirmation-bias-supporting ways.
 
2012-11-06 05:05:29 PM  
Hyuk hyuk. Do a teleprompter one!
 
2012-11-06 05:06:01 PM  

Bondith: "It was God's divine word that I be there. Originally, I was just going skip the ballot and just go to lunch that day," Houston said.

Instead of making you go vote, wouldn't it be simpler just for God not to give the guy a heart attack?


Why do you hate religious freedom?
 
2012-11-06 05:07:02 PM  
Brace yourselves for local news puns about how serious voting is.
 
2012-11-06 05:07:23 PM  
Either subby was the Weeners on the article or it was shamelessly stolen:

Gerard Van der Leun · Top Commenter · Seattle, Washington
If he was a Democrat he voted while dead.
 
2012-11-06 05:07:38 PM  
Wow, that was probably the sloppiest delivery of a tired ass joke I have seen in a long time. Congrats Subby!
 
2012-11-06 05:08:54 PM  
To those of you saying this is an "old" or "tired joke:

It's not a joke if it's true.
 
2012-11-06 05:09:02 PM  
Well, if he was revived for free at the polling station then he probably voted Democrat anyway.
 
2012-11-06 05:09:40 PM  

blatz514: Either subby was the Weeners on the article or it was shamelessly stolen:


Because the Detroit News comments section is the genesis of the 'the dead are voting Democratic' joke?
 
2012-11-06 05:10:21 PM  

BarefootInTheFark: Old joke is old, subby.


Joke?

Native West Virginian, I know we all have the right to vote, even those that have passed on
 
2012-11-06 05:10:40 PM  
Dick Cheney would never be a Democrat.
 
2012-11-06 05:11:09 PM  
It all depends. Was he revived by a registered nurse whose training was paid for from public funds, or was the training paid for by a job creator?
 
2012-11-06 05:14:07 PM  
I have a 93 year old (words with friends) friend who voted absentee two weeks ago fearing that she'd die before the election.
 
2012-11-06 05:15:52 PM  
would be SO proud

pitchinvasion.net
 
2012-11-06 05:16:03 PM  
MORE LIKE DEADOCRAT, AMIRITE
 
2012-11-06 05:18:26 PM  
obvious
lh4.ggpht.com
 
2012-11-06 05:18:40 PM  
He may want Obamacare
 
2012-11-06 05:19:12 PM  
Fark you, subby.

/registered Democrat
 
2012-11-06 05:20:29 PM  
"He was dead," Houston said.

"No he wasn't," Reality said.
 
2012-11-06 05:20:43 PM  
"He was dead," Houston said. "He had no heartbeat and he wasn't breathing. I started CPR, and after a few minutes, he revived and started breathing again. He knew his name and his wife's name."

If you were revived, it means you weren't dead, eh.
 
2012-11-06 05:21:08 PM  
"It was definitely a 911 scenario," Tischler said.

What Tischler's ballot may look like:

imageshack.us
 
2012-11-06 05:21:25 PM  
Do you know who else arose from death?
/wait, that wasn't hitler, nevermind.
 
2012-11-06 05:21:28 PM  
Is true. Happened not too far from me. It's all over the local news.
 
2012-11-06 05:21:41 PM  

jigger: "He was dead," Houston said. "He had no heartbeat and he wasn't breathing. I started CPR, and after a few minutes, he revived and started breathing again. He knew his name and his wife's name."

If you were revived, it means you weren't dead, eh.


Eh eh eh, shows what you know.

He was only mostly dead.
 
2012-11-06 05:21:54 PM  

offmymeds: Fark you, subby.

/registered Democrat


I'm impressed. Not only can you vote, you can also post on Fark while dead.
 
2012-11-06 05:22:52 PM  
Of course, if he voted while brain dead, that would mean he's a Republican. 

Or if he voted while dead inside with no compassion or empathy, he's a... well, still a Republican.
 
2012-11-06 05:22:54 PM  
I thought Kenny McCormick was too young to vote? Or are they counting his chronological age, not his apparent age, since his age-group friends did meet then-President Bill Clinton?
 
2012-11-06 05:23:11 PM  

Leeds: jigger: "He was dead," Houston said. "He had no heartbeat and he wasn't breathing. I started CPR, and after a few minutes, he revived and started breathing again. He knew his name and his wife's name."

If you were revived, it means you weren't dead, eh.

Eh eh eh, shows what you know.

He was only mostly dead.


He was at the polling place to blave.
 
2012-11-06 05:23:12 PM  

Bondith: "It was God's divine word that I be there. Originally, I was just going skip the ballot and just go to lunch that day," Houston said.

Instead of making you go vote, wouldn't it be simpler just for God not to give the guy a heart attack?


I never understood that logic. "That child survived the plane crash! God has performed a miracle!" Um, what?
 
2012-11-06 05:23:26 PM  
I find this story kind of fishy. As a paramedic, CPR is never that quick and clean. Ribs get broken, vomiting happens, and it's actually quite difficult to do efficient CPR with just one person. It's a very touching story that makes me smile, don't get me wrong. But, I'm pretty skeptical about it the whole process of this voter who "died" briefly.
 
2012-11-06 05:23:31 PM  
I chuckled subby.

/everyone else has to relax a little bit
 
2012-11-06 05:24:36 PM  
Hackneyed joke, bad delivery...you should send this one into Leno, subby!
 
2012-11-06 05:24:50 PM  
the tiny NJ town i grew up in once voted in a dead guy for Mayor.
 
2012-11-06 05:26:47 PM  

Smokey the Bare: I chuckled subby.

/everyone else has to relax a little bit


This.
 
2012-11-06 05:27:02 PM  

offmymeds: Fark you, subby.

/registered Democrat


Calm down.

/not subby
//registered Democrat
///dead inside
 
2012-11-06 05:27:54 PM  

jigger: "He was dead," Houston said. "He had no heartbeat and he wasn't breathing. I started CPR, and after a few minutes, he revived and started breathing again. He knew his name and his wife's name."

If you were revived, it means you weren't dead, eh.


Not clinically.

I'll agree that's an uncommon use of the word, but it's not even remotely unprecedented.
 
2012-11-06 05:28:24 PM  
You know what's great about this election?

It's over tomorrow...

Can we have a butt hurt thread for whoever loses?
 
2012-11-06 05:28:33 PM  
Pope Formosus votes thumbs up.
wp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2012-11-06 05:29:08 PM  

Leeds: jigger: "He was dead," Houston said. "He had no heartbeat and he wasn't breathing. I started CPR, and after a few minutes, he revived and started breathing again. He knew his name and his wife's name."

If you were revived, it means you weren't dead, eh.

Eh eh eh, shows what you know.

He was only mostly dead.


and mostly dead is still slightly alive.
 
2012-11-06 05:29:11 PM  
Subby stated, "If he had voted while dead, he probably would have been a Democrat" Wouldn't it make more sense that he voted Democrat after not dying since it's Republicans who seem so against healthcare and the welfare of others?
 
2012-11-06 05:29:20 PM  
And yet all the election frauds seems to be committed by Republicans...
 
2012-11-06 05:30:26 PM  

offmymeds: Fark you, subby.

/registered Democrat


me too. how did i register Dem? well, let me tell you.

tl;dr

fraulance.
 
2012-11-06 05:31:33 PM  

poonesfarm: Hackneyed joke, bad delivery...you should send this one into Leno, subby!


That's for print stuff. Online, if they like it, they'll steal it themselves.
 
2012-11-06 05:31:34 PM  
Next time subby makes this joke, he should change it to "Republicans". Then fark will find it hilarious.

/you know what to do, Francis
 
2012-11-06 05:38:27 PM  
Article fails to mention whether or not he would get on the cart.

/He feels hap-py! He feels hap-py
//Thud
///Here you are
////Thank you
 
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