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(The Detroit_News)   Man dies at polling location, gets revived, then votes. If he had voted while dead, he probably would have been a Democrat   (detroitnews.com) divider line 102
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9250 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Nov 2012 at 5:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-06 05:38:52 PM

Bondith: "It was God's divine word that I be there. Originally, I was just going skip the ballot and just go to lunch that day," Houston said.

Instead of making you go vote, wouldn't it be simpler just for God not to give the guy a heart attack?


Would you have heard of his story without this added drama? NO!

Think of all the elderly people who read this, and decide "If he can do it, so will I!"

And suddenly the percentage of elderly white people who voted goes up dramatically, electing god's candidate.

There.
 
2012-11-06 05:39:12 PM
"Oh my God, the dead have risen and they're voting Republican!"

/anyone?
//should not be obscure, at least not here
 
2012-11-06 05:39:20 PM

moralpanic: And yet all the election frauds seems to be committed by Republicans...


Someone is unfamiliar with the political machines.
 
2012-11-06 05:40:00 PM

Fano: BarefootInTheFark: Old joke is old, subby.

Joke?

Native West Virginian, I know we all have the right to vote, even those that have passed on


i45.tinypic.com
 
2012-11-06 05:41:10 PM

cyberspacedout: "Oh my God, the dead have risen and they're voting Republican!"

/anyone?
//should not be obscure, at least not here


FFFFFFFFFFUUUUU---

/that's what I get for re-hosting pics
 
2012-11-06 05:45:13 PM
James Bond WILL return in You Only Vote Twice!
 
2012-11-06 05:45:15 PM
Not in Kentucky, they wanted an ID and I asked if that is voter suppression, she said no, they wanted to make sure my dead relatives did not vote.
 
2012-11-06 05:45:58 PM
images.sodahead.com
 
2012-11-06 05:46:25 PM
img808.imageshack.us
 
2012-11-06 05:49:23 PM

LDM90: Next time subby makes this joke, he should change it to "Republicans". Then fark will find it hilarious.

/you know what to do, Francis


It's not hilarious either way. I'll grant it was probably funny the first time someone told it 100 years ago.
 
2012-11-06 05:49:50 PM

moralpanic: And yet all the election frauds seems to be committed by Republicans...


Both sides do it, so vote Republican. Or don't bother, someone else already absentee voted Republican using your name.
 
2012-11-06 05:51:53 PM

Edward_Lapine: I find this story kind of fishy. As a paramedic, CPR is never that quick and clean. Ribs get broken, vomiting happens, and it's actually quite difficult to do efficient CPR with just one person. It's a very touching story that makes me smile, don't get me wrong. But, I'm pretty skeptical about it the whole process of this voter who "died" briefly.


Me too. I'm a former EMT and I've never seen anyone recover that fast from "dying".
 
SH
2012-11-06 05:53:08 PM
Man dies at polling location, gets revived, then votes. If he had voted while dead, he probably would have been a Democrat

Yea, foolish compared to the GOP method of buying the companies that make the voting machines.
 
2012-11-06 05:53:25 PM
told her there are only two things that are important to me: "That I love you and that I finished what I came here to do ... vote."

Poorly written but this stirred up a little dust.
 
2012-11-06 05:54:27 PM
Plus, everyone knows that we Democrats don't actually vote at all. We buy them.
 
2012-11-06 05:57:05 PM
If he had voted Republican, died, been revived and voted again, both would be counted. Just like being born-again.
 
2012-11-06 06:00:38 PM

Edward_Lapine: I find this story kind of fishy. As a paramedic, CPR is never that quick and clean. Ribs get broken, vomiting happens, and it's actually quite difficult to do efficient CPR with just one person. It's a very touching story that makes me smile, don't get me wrong. But, I'm pretty skeptical about it the whole process of this voter who "died" briefly.


To be fair, the headline gets the process out of order: he had already finished his ballot when the heart attack struck, and so after being revived it was just asking about it. That seems much more believable... though I don't have the experience you do, obviously.
 
2012-11-06 06:01:27 PM

zabadu: Edward_Lapine: I find this story kind of fishy. As a paramedic, CPR is never that quick and clean. Ribs get broken, vomiting happens, and it's actually quite difficult to do efficient CPR with just one person. It's a very touching story that makes me smile, don't get me wrong. But, I'm pretty skeptical about it the whole process of this voter who "died" briefly.

Me too. I'm a former EMT and I've never seen anyone recover that fast from "dying".


We had a guy (50-something firefighter) drop over mostly-dead at a FF/EMS baseball tourney a few years ago. Witnessed cardiac arrest in front of dozens of EMTs. The defib was on him in under a minute, and he woke up swearing. That's the ONLY time I actually saw it work. (Rural area, 30 minutes between ambulances, give or take). Every other time with CPR or the defib, there was no shockable rhythm, so "mostly dead" turned into "dead dead".
 
2012-11-06 06:05:02 PM

Leeds: jigger: "He was dead," Houston said. "He had no heartbeat and he wasn't breathing. I started CPR, and after a few minutes, he revived and started breathing again. He knew his name and his wife's name."

If you were revived, it means you weren't dead, eh.

Eh eh eh, shows what you know.

He was only mostly dead.


Came for this.
 
2012-11-06 06:06:40 PM

Equilibrist: Or from Chicago...

Same thing really.


Done in one.

//getting a kick, because I live in the northern suburbs.
 
2012-11-06 06:11:06 PM

djh0101010: zabadu: Edward_Lapine: I find this story kind of fishy. As a paramedic, CPR is never that quick and clean. Ribs get broken, vomiting happens, and it's actually quite difficult to do efficient CPR with just one person. It's a very touching story that makes me smile, don't get me wrong. But, I'm pretty skeptical about it the whole process of this voter who "died" briefly.

Me too. I'm a former EMT and I've never seen anyone recover that fast from "dying".

We had a guy (50-something firefighter) drop over mostly-dead at a FF/EMS baseball tourney a few years ago. Witnessed cardiac arrest in front of dozens of EMTs. The defib was on him in under a minute, and he woke up swearing. That's the ONLY time I actually saw it work. (Rural area, 30 minutes between ambulances, give or take). Every other time with CPR or the defib, there was no shockable rhythm, so "mostly dead" turned into "dead dead".


Gotta go with CSB.
For some agenda or such.
Things mostly do not go this way. Wish they did, my back and ankles would be in much better shape.

/i hear the train a commin', it's commin' round the bend
//"actual" train wrecks don't just hop up and go vote, maybe this was not a "real" coronary.
 
2012-11-06 06:12:35 PM
"She turned me into a newt!"
"I got better."

/sigh, facepalm
//if you died, then you're dead. If you're alive, you didn't die.
 
2012-11-06 06:17:37 PM
The CPR classes I take always drive home the point that performing CPR is just a way to keep a person's brain and organs alive until a paramedic can administer the drugs that will (with any luck) restart the heart.

Also we learn that chest compressions are more likely than not going to break a rib or at least damage the cartalidge at the ribcage.

It's always weird to hear about people reviving after CPR and acting normal.
 
2012-11-06 06:18:26 PM

Banned on the Run: "She turned me into a newt!"
"I got better."

/sigh, facepalm
//if you died, then you're dead. If you're alive, you didn't die.


*slaps in the face with a high school physiology book*

Clinical Death is the stopping of the heart. Resuscitation at this point is possible with application of an AED. You are considered dead at this point, your organs are only living off the oxygen in your blood at time of the heart stopping.

Brain Death is the death of, well, the brain. You can't be brought back.

//goddamnit so much
 
2012-11-06 06:19:55 PM

Ablejack: Do you know who else arose from death?
/wait, that wasn't hitler, nevermind.


ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2012-11-06 06:25:10 PM
Man dies at polling location, gets revived, then votes. If he had voted while dead, he probably would have been a Democrat

Oh, bullshiat.. The ONLY way dead people vote is absentee ballot, every BODY knows this.
 
2012-11-06 06:27:23 PM

lostcat: The CPR classes I take always drive home the point that performing CPR is just a way to keep a person's brain and organs alive until a paramedic can administer the drugs that will (with any luck) restart the heart.

Also we learn that chest compressions are more likely than not going to break a rib or at least damage the cartalidge at the ribcage.

It's always weird to hear about people reviving after CPR and acting normal.


Yeah, drugs or AED. Techincally, any joe schmoe that isn't deaf can administer the AED. It farking talks you through the steps.
 
2012-11-06 06:29:50 PM
 
2012-11-06 06:33:00 PM

offmymeds: Fark you, subby.

/registered Democrat


firedaily.com

Democrats should be in a good mood today.
 
2012-11-06 06:40:29 PM

X-boxershorts: Man dies at polling location, gets revived, then votes. If he had voted while dead, he probably would have been a Democrat

Oh, bullshiat.. The ONLY way dead people vote is absentee ballot, every BODY knows this.


It is the "easiest" way because there is no verification but it is not the only way.
 
2012-11-06 06:44:30 PM
joyannaadams.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-11-06 06:46:13 PM

Krieghund: Democrats should be in a good mood today.


But hopefully they won't be in a good mood tomorrow :)
 
2012-11-06 06:50:31 PM
I'm sure it's been mentioned already but it bears repeating: Reading comprehension fail, subby. He'd already voted. Way to act Republican by altering facts to make your sound bite sound better.
 
2012-11-06 06:51:25 PM

KangTheMad: lostcat: The CPR classes I take always drive home the point that performing CPR is just a way to keep a person's brain and organs alive until a paramedic can administer the drugs that will (with any luck) restart the heart.

Also we learn that chest compressions are more likely than not going to break a rib or at least damage the cartalidge at the ribcage.

It's always weird to hear about people reviving after CPR and acting normal.

Yeah, drugs or AED. Techincally, any joe schmoe that isn't deaf can administer the AED. It farking talks you through the steps.


Yeah, we use modified AEDs to train. But they also tell us that the AED can't re-start a stopped heart, it only tries to STOP a heart that is fibrillating. So if a person has no pulse, the AED will most likely tell you not to use it.

Maybe they are just trying to lower our expecations so we won't feel bad if the person we're trying to save dies on us.
 
2012-11-06 06:52:40 PM

smitty04: [joyannaadams.files.wordpress.com image 640x508]


It was Bush that actually sent out "stimulus checks".

But you're such a trollerific idiot, you probably spent yours on crack and forgot who it was sent it to ya
 
2012-11-06 06:53:20 PM

lostcat: KangTheMad: lostcat: The CPR classes I take always drive home the point that performing CPR is just a way to keep a person's brain and organs alive until a paramedic can administer the drugs that will (with any luck) restart the heart.

Also we learn that chest compressions are more likely than not going to break a rib or at least damage the cartalidge at the ribcage.

It's always weird to hear about people reviving after CPR and acting normal.

Yeah, drugs or AED. Techincally, any joe schmoe that isn't deaf can administer the AED. It farking talks you through the steps.

Yeah, we use modified AEDs to train. But they also tell us that the AED can't re-start a stopped heart, it only tries to STOP a heart that is fibrillating. So if a person has no pulse, the AED will most likely tell you not to use it.

Maybe they are just trying to lower our expecations so we won't feel bad if the person we're trying to save dies on us.


I think it's a "better than nothing" thing, like hands-only CPR.

//do mouth to mouth if you can, though
 
2012-11-06 06:53:56 PM
I really don't give a flying damn about republican vs democrat. I vote for results. And medical marijuana- I'm K with that.
 
2012-11-06 06:59:34 PM

lostcat: But they also tell us that the AED can't re-start a stopped heart, it only tries to STOP a heart that is fibrillating. So if a person has no pulse, the AED will most likely tell you not to use it.


The first sentence is correct. The "jump start your heart" analogy is actually quite misleading: it's much closer to a reboot. (This is why movies showing someone use a defibrillator on someone who's flatlining is BS -- by way of analogy, hitting the reset button on your computer doesn't do anything if it's unplugged.)

But the second sentence isn't: fibrillating hearts don't produce a pulse (at least one that you can feel). And actually, if you can feel a pulse, that means (I think) the person isn't in a rhythm that's shockable by an AED (though may be in one shockable by a manual defibrillator and someone who knows what they're doing).

/At least that's my understanding
//Not a health professional
 
2012-11-06 07:08:26 PM

evaned: lostcat: But they also tell us that the AED can't re-start a stopped heart, it only tries to STOP a heart that is fibrillating. So if a person has no pulse, the AED will most likely tell you not to use it.

The first sentence is correct. The "jump start your heart" analogy is actually quite misleading: it's much closer to a reboot. (This is why movies showing someone use a defibrillator on someone who's flatlining is BS -- by way of analogy, hitting the reset button on your computer doesn't do anything if it's unplugged.)

But the second sentence isn't: fibrillating hearts don't produce a pulse (at least one that you can feel). And actually, if you can feel a pulse, that means (I think) the person isn't in a rhythm that's shockable by an AED (though may be in one shockable by a manual defibrillator and someone who knows what they're doing).

/At least that's my understanding
//Not a health professional


You're right. I should have been more clear. I meant to say that if a person's heart has actually stopped (no pulse detected by the AED), no shock will be recommended. I agree that during fibrillation you will be unlikely to feel a pulse. In fact, current training foregoes attempting to check for pulse and breathing, and assumes that if a person has collapsed and is unresponsive that the CPR + AED process should begin immediately.
 
2012-11-06 07:16:05 PM
Everyone knows the dead are voting Republican, dumbmitter

i159.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-06 07:18:56 PM
When it comes to politics, people only complain that it's an old joke if it was made against their party.
 
2012-11-06 07:24:10 PM

Relatively Obscure: Leeds: jigger: "He was dead," Houston said. "He had no heartbeat and he wasn't breathing. I started CPR, and after a few minutes, he revived and started breathing again. He knew his name and his wife's name."

If you were revived, it means you weren't dead, eh.

Eh eh eh, shows what you know.

He was only mostly dead.

He was at the polling place to blave.


First laugh I had all day - thanks.
 
2012-11-06 07:52:09 PM

lostcat: You're right. I should have been more clear. I meant to say that if a person's heart has actually stopped (no pulse detected by the AED), no shock will be recommended.


Sorry, I've just not heard of anyone describing a defibrillator as detecting a "pulse" before, which is why I said something.
 
2012-11-06 08:08:05 PM

evaned: lostcat: You're right. I should have been more clear. I meant to say that if a person's heart has actually stopped (no pulse detected by the AED), no shock will be recommended.

Sorry, I've just not heard of anyone describing a defibrillator as detecting a "pulse" before, which is why I said something.


How would they start a heart that had been transplanted?
 
2012-11-06 08:19:29 PM

smitty04: evaned: lostcat: You're right. I should have been more clear. I meant to say that if a person's heart has actually stopped (no pulse detected by the AED), no shock will be recommended.

Sorry, I've just not heard of anyone describing a defibrillator as detecting a "pulse" before, which is why I said something.

How would they start a heart that had been transplanted?


First they use a fibrillator, to get it quivering. Then they hit it with a defibrillator, to synchronize up the impulses into something useful. Also used for heart surgeries where they stop the heart to do the work. Strange but true. 20 years ago when I was a biomed tech, the fibrillator was little more than a transformer with a couple of paddles wired to the secondary.
 
2012-11-06 08:25:46 PM
And if he was in the wrong district, or it was his third time that day, he would be a Republican
 
2012-11-06 09:07:54 PM

offmymeds: Fark you, subby.

/registered Democrat


Calm down there, Francis. You should be able to laugh at your team, as well.
 
2012-11-06 09:20:42 PM

Leeds: To those of you saying this is an "old" or "tired joke:

It's not a joke if it's true.


Since when can't jokes be true? Let's vote.
 
2012-11-06 09:25:43 PM

smitty04: evaned: lostcat: You're right. I should have been more clear. I meant to say that if a person's heart has actually stopped (no pulse detected by the AED), no shock will be recommended.

Sorry, I've just not heard of anyone describing a defibrillator as detecting a "pulse" before, which is why I said something.

How would they start a heart that had been transplanted?


Like a regular heart.
 
2012-11-06 11:03:54 PM
OK, I'm reading TFA, and suddenly the screen flips to this, under a Fark logo:


Fark doesn't have a URL called /mediaplex/mojofb_v9.html?&dontCount=1&bridge=/mediaplex/mojofb_v9.htm l&plid=3484-161876-22543-4&mpt=1468784189&mpvc=http://adclick.g.double click.net/aclk%253Fsa%253DL%2526ai%253DBB0Q_-dyZUN-XCZTS2wWmy4FIt6Liow QAAAAQASAAOABYp7Cy1Gtgyfb0irSk2A-CARdjYS1wdWItNjI2MDA0OTYxMjI4NjY2ObIB E3d3dy5kZXRyb2l0bmV3cy5jb226AQlnZnBfaW1hZ2XIAQnaAT1odHRwOi8vd3d3LmRldH JvaXRuZXdzLmNvbS9hcnRpY2xlLzIwMTIxMTA2L01FVFJPMDIvMjExMDYwNDEwwAIC4AIA 6gIQNTIxNi9QMDYyMC8yMjg3MfgCgtIekAOkA5gDpAOoAwHQBJBO4AQBoAYW%2526num%2 53D0%2526sig%253DAOD64_1hTtOdk2Lv82vs8DN8ftAoE2-eMw%2526client%253Dca- pub-6260049612286669%2526adurl%253D&theReferer=http://www.fark.com/ ... someone spill beer on yer keyboard again?

Here's a picture of a squirrel instead

So I close the tab, click the link again, and it happens a second time.

WTF, Fark? WTF?
 
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