If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(NBC News)   Hey, I just raped you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me, maybe?   (usnews.nbcnews.com) divider line 201
    More: Scary, Washington DC, phone numbers, dorms  
•       •       •

33844 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Nov 2012 at 2:36 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



201 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-11-06 11:59:48 AM
Well, that was brilliant.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-11-06 12:03:33 PM
Happened near Boston a few years ago. Newspaper story, Fark thread
 
2012-11-06 12:11:05 PM
Myles told detectives that the sex with the Howard student was consensual, but he admitted forcing his way in to the Rhode Island Row apartment and stabbing her after she resisted, according to court documents. He asked detectives if she survived, saying he didn't mean to kill anyone.

Just in case you weren't aware there are crazy people in the world.
 
2012-11-06 01:12:25 PM
"I had a great time stabbing and raping you and I'd like to do it again sometime."
 
2012-11-06 01:20:17 PM
That is a legitimately funny headline, subby...
 
2012-11-06 01:22:16 PM
It's called traditional marriage*, subtard, Get over it.


Deuteronomy Chapter 22.
 
2012-11-06 01:24:58 PM
She should totally have his baby, what a gift for the both of them
 
2012-11-06 02:15:15 PM
I see a great parody video starring a lot of college athletes.
 
2012-11-06 02:23:19 PM
He was saying to himself. What does it take for me to get arrested?
 
2012-11-06 02:29:28 PM
I lol'd. The only problem is this wasn't Florida.
 
2012-11-06 02:37:24 PM
From a different article: Link

Myles is charged with assault with the intent to commit first degree sexual assault while armed for the first attack and first degree sexual assault while armed for the second, police explained.

If the first victim was stabbed at least 25 times, why the hell is he not charged with attempted murder?
 
2012-11-06 02:38:59 PM

CapeFearCadaver: From a different article: Link

Myles is charged with assault with the intent to commit first degree sexual assault while armed for the first attack and first degree sexual assault while armed for the second, police explained.

If the first victim was stabbed at least 25 times, why the hell is he not charged with attempted murder?


No intent. Also, chances are that the sentence for the sexual assault is greater than for the attempted murder.
 
2012-11-06 02:39:33 PM

CapeFearCadaver: From a different article: Link

Myles is charged with assault with the intent to commit first degree sexual assault while armed for the first attack and first degree sexual assault while armed for the second, police explained.

If the first victim was stabbed at least 25 times, why the hell is he not charged with attempted murder?


maybe the first victim was really fat?
 
2012-11-06 02:39:53 PM
Works better than this headline.
 
2012-11-06 02:40:35 PM
Thank you, subby. I was worried that rape jokes weren't funny anymore, but you restored my faith.

/+1, you funny farker.
 
2012-11-06 02:42:09 PM
I'm a bit embarrassed but I admit that I kind of find that song catchy.
 
2012-11-06 02:42:12 PM

CapeFearCadaver: From a different article: Link

Myles is charged with assault with the intent to commit first degree sexual assault while armed for the first attack and first degree sexual assault while armed for the second, police explained.

If the first victim was stabbed at least 25 times, why the hell is he not charged with attempted murder?


Honestly, it's sounding like he's fruitloops enough that if they went for murder his lawyers would fight a lot harder, and they'd have prove his intent wasn't to magically cure them with his healing knife. I'm guessing assault will be easy to prove and harder to counter.
 
2012-11-06 02:42:16 PM
So if shes pregnant is it gods will?
 
2012-11-06 02:42:24 PM
Waste of time...chicks never call you back.
 
2012-11-06 02:43:18 PM
DC People Problems.
/besides he said it was consensual rape rape.
//apparently he likes rape.
 
2012-11-06 02:43:23 PM

dletter: Myles told detectives that the sex with the Howard student was consensual, but he admitted forcing his way in to the Rhode Island Row apartment and stabbing her after she resisted, according to court documents. He asked detectives if she survived, saying he didn't mean to kill anyone.

Just in case you weren't aware there are crazy people in the world.


Holy shiat. Wow.
 
2012-11-06 02:43:24 PM

Random Anonymous Blackmail: So if shes pregnant is it gods will?



If it wasn't real rape, the female body has natural defense mechanisms.

/or whatever that farkstain said
 
2012-11-06 02:43:37 PM

CapeFearCadaver: If the first victim was stabbed at least 25 times, why the hell is he not charged with attempted murder?


It was just the tip, just like all he could manage....
 
2012-11-06 02:43:57 PM
I read that in her singing voice.

cdn.theatlantic.com

And you did too.
 
2012-11-06 02:44:05 PM
FTFA:Myles told detectives that the sex with the Howard student was consensual, but he admitted forcing his way in to the Rhode Island Row apartment and stabbing her after she resisted, according to court documents. He asked detectives if she survived, saying he didn't mean to kill anyone.

Maybe he thought she was into it.(NSFW Language)
 
2012-11-06 02:44:07 PM
What the newspaper article doesn't report is what happens if you call the number:

"Thank you for calling the White House..."
 
2012-11-06 02:45:03 PM
This man should move to a red state and run for Congress.
 
2012-11-06 02:45:04 PM
Myles told detectives that the sex with the Howard student was consensual, but he admitted forcing his way in to the Rhode Island Row apartment and stabbing her after she resisted

Um....that's not how consensual works.
i48.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-06 02:46:35 PM

Gunny Walker: FTFA:Myles told detectives that the sex with the Howard student was consensual, but he admitted forcing his way in to the Rhode Island Row apartment and stabbing her after she resisted, according to court documents. He asked detectives if she survived, saying he didn't mean to kill anyone.

Maybe he thought she was into it.(NSFW Language)


Louis CK reference wins the Interwebz.
 
2012-11-06 02:46:49 PM

xaratherus: What the newspaper article doesn't report is what happens if you call the number:

"Thank you for calling the White House..."


NOW THAT is a spin that I totally didn't think of. You..you're good you.....
 
2012-11-06 02:47:23 PM

litespeed74: Waste of time...chicks never call you back.


The only time I wished that were true was when she carved my phone number into her headboard.
 
2012-11-06 02:47:34 PM
Meh, she probably just rapes easy.
 
2012-11-06 02:49:24 PM

Gyrfalcon: No intent. Also, chances are that the sentence for the sexual assault is greater than for the attempted murder.


LowbrowDeluxe: Honestly, it's sounding like he's fruitloops enough that if they went for murder his lawyers would fight a lot harder, and they'd have prove his intent wasn't to magically cure them with his healing knife. I'm guessing assault will be easy to prove and harder to counter.


Okay... I mean, it makes sense if I stand on my head and cross my eyes while patting my tummy; but jeez-uz.

/I get it, it's just farked up
 
2012-11-06 02:50:10 PM
Imma gonna lemme finish, but befo I do, Imma write down my fone numba.
 
2012-11-06 02:50:16 PM
How is babby formed?
 
2012-11-06 02:51:08 PM
Killing people is my least favorite thing to do.

Well, I was home, and this girl came in, so I rapped her and stab her 37 times.


/ CARL!!!!!
 
2012-11-06 02:51:42 PM
Rape becomes consensual when you threaten the victim and they're forced to say yes.
 
2012-11-06 02:52:04 PM
Was this rape born out of wedlock?
 
2012-11-06 02:52:08 PM
Outstanding, subby!
 
2012-11-06 02:52:26 PM
Myles told detectives that the sex with the Howard student was consensual, but he admitted forcing his way in to the Rhode Island Row apartment and stabbing her after she resisted, according to court documents. He asked detectives if she survived, saying he didn't mean to kill anyone.

That's what I call a "Viking Date".
 
2012-11-06 02:52:28 PM

rickythepenguin: If it wasn't real "rape"- rape, the female body has natural defense mechanisms and the rapist should avoid going to jail, like Polanski.


If you're going to turn it political, at least acknowledge you've got some kooks on your side of the aisle as well.
 
2012-11-06 02:52:42 PM

iheartscotch: Killing people is my least favorite thing to do.

Well, I was home, and this girl came in, so I rapped her and stab her 37 times.


/ CARL!!!!!


What happened to her hands, Carl?

Oh. I sort of, uh... cooked them up and ate them.
 
2012-11-06 02:53:09 PM

Gunny Walker: FTFA:Myles told detectives that the sex with the Howard student was consensual, but he admitted forcing his way in to the Rhode Island Row apartment and stabbing her after she resisted, according to court documents. He asked detectives if she survived, saying he didn't mean to kill anyone.

Maybe he thought she was into it.(NSFW Language)


That's funny, I wonder if it's true or it's just a good bit he made up. I was with a girl that wanted me to hit her during sex. I was like, you mean like a good slap on the ass? And she said no, I want to full on donkey punch me in the back of the head while doing it doggy style. I told her I don't think I could do that and feel good about myself.
 
2012-11-06 02:56:13 PM

xaratherus: iheartscotch: Killing people is my least favorite thing to do.

Well, I was home, and this girl came in, so I rapped her and stab her 37 times.


/ CARL!!!!!

What happened to her hands, Carl?

Oh. I sort of, uh... cooked them up and ate them.


My tummy had the rumbleies; that only hands can satisfy.


/ CARL!!!!!
 
2012-11-06 02:57:24 PM
If it's not a legitimate crepe, my tummy won't accept it
 
2012-11-06 02:57:36 PM

LeroyBourne: Gunny Walker: FTFA:Myles told detectives that the sex with the Howard student was consensual, but he admitted forcing his way in to the Rhode Island Row apartment and stabbing her after she resisted, according to court documents. He asked detectives if she survived, saying he didn't mean to kill anyone.

Maybe he thought she was into it.(NSFW Language)

That's funny, I wonder if it's true or it's just a good bit he made up. I was with a girl that wanted me to hit her during sex. I was like, you mean like a good slap on the ass? And she said no, I want to full on donkey punch me in the back of the head while doing it doggy style. I told her I don't think I could do that and feel good about myself.


yeah i wouldn't do that either, that's the A-train to extortion-ville
 
2012-11-06 02:57:40 PM

LeroyBourne: Gunny Walker: FTFA:Myles told detectives that the sex with the Howard student was consensual, but he admitted forcing his way in to the Rhode Island Row apartment and stabbing her after she resisted, according to court documents. He asked detectives if she survived, saying he didn't mean to kill anyone.

Maybe he thought she was into it.(NSFW Language)

That's funny, I wonder if it's true or it's just a good bit he made up. I was with a girl that wanted me to hit her during sex. I was like, you mean like a good slap on the ass? And she said no, I want to full on donkey punch me in the back of the head while doing it doggy style. I told her I don't think I could do that and feel good about myself.


"I'm getting a real rapey vibe from this girl."
 
2012-11-06 02:58:16 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: I read that in her singing voice.

[cdn.theatlantic.com image 330x270]

And you did too.



Yes I did, and thought of her "raping" me.

/Can't rape the willing
 
2012-11-06 02:58:34 PM

CapeFearCadaver: If the first victim was stabbed at least 25 times, why the hell is he not charged with attempted murder?


I'm a little confused at that as well, although they may have just been lacerations on an extremity.

All in all, though the security that this psychopath bypassed makes this story extremely troubling. Multi-layer keycard defeats? I guess you don't have to be too suave to just time your approach right so that someone else (especially drunken) arrives at the reader just ahead of you.
 
2012-11-06 02:59:24 PM
If she gets pregnant then it wasn't legitimate rape, right?

"If there's a fetus in her slit, you must acquit!"
 
Displayed 50 of 201 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report