If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(IndyStar)   It is hard to vote when the machines are beginning to rise up against the greater good   (indystar.com) divider line 63
    More: Dumbass, Hamilton County, voting machines, election days, U.S. presidential, Hancock County, Central Indiana, U.S. Senate, polling places  
•       •       •

10909 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Nov 2012 at 11:56 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



63 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-11-06 10:23:00 AM  

Diogenes: [cmsimg.indystar.com image 615x410]
Black people and a hippie with a ponytail? Of course the machines failed.


FTFA: The cards had been reset using a demonstration voting machine, instead of an actual machine, causing the problem, Richardson said.

Human error is not evidence of a robocalypse, and from the looks of things it's probably not a human-originated conspiracy unless the black guy was involved in it (ok, maybe the shady white dude in the trench coat)
 
2012-11-06 10:29:01 AM  

serial_crusher: Diogenes: [cmsimg.indystar.com image 615x410]
Black people and a hippie with a ponytail? Of course the machines failed.

FTFA: The cards had been reset using a demonstration voting machine, instead of an actual machine, causing the problem, Richardson said.

Human error is not evidence of a robocalypse, and from the looks of things it's probably not a human-originated conspiracy unless the black guy was involved in it (ok, maybe the shady white dude in the trench coat)


Yeah, I was just having a bit of fun. This looks like pure human error, favoring no one.
 
2012-11-06 11:59:03 AM  
The greater good.
 
2012-11-06 11:59:25 AM  
Doesn't Romney own stock in the company that makes those machines?
 
2012-11-06 12:01:17 PM  
You know what almost always works?

Paper ballots going into a scantron machine.

But OMG COMPUTORZ.
 
2012-11-06 12:01:22 PM  
The malfunctioning and outright rigging of voting machines is a good thing. Now, we can all stop pretending that elections are honest and fair. They're not, and never have been.
 
2012-11-06 12:01:37 PM  
Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence

/i'm just going to use that quote all day
 
2012-11-06 12:01:47 PM  
The greater good...

/Not Judge Judy, an executioner.
 
2012-11-06 12:02:20 PM  

FizixJunkee: The greater good.


Where's my super suit?
 
2012-11-06 12:03:05 PM  
I'll say it again. Whichever side cheats best will win.
/probably the R's
//Obama is from Illinois though
/// Will be fun to watch
 
2012-11-06 12:03:55 PM  
 
2012-11-06 12:04:08 PM  
This happened to me when I voted earlier:

www.heyokay.com
 
2012-11-06 12:04:35 PM  

Marine1: You know what almost always works?

Paper ballots going into a scantron machine.

But OMG COMPUTORZ.


Actually the scantron machine at my precinct (in Little Rock, AR) was broken this morning. But they just put the ballots in an old school ballot box to be scanned later.
 
2012-11-06 12:04:41 PM  

Marine1: You know what almost always works?

Paper ballots going into a scantron machine.

But OMG COMPUTORZ.


From my college experience, scantron machines are as temperamental as Florida's punchcard voting system circa 2000.
 
2012-11-06 12:06:34 PM  

gingerjet: Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence


Republicans have more than amply demonstrated their malice and contempt for voting rights.
 
2012-11-06 12:06:36 PM  
...a programming snafu required a last-minute update was needed for about 500 machines in 150 polling places.

Sorry, but no. Those machines should have been taken completely out of service, and then fall back on some other system. Paper, for instance.

Far too easy to inject malicious, unverified code into the system at that point.

/no last minute updates, ever
//even better, how about no electronic voting, ever
 
2012-11-06 12:07:10 PM  

FizixJunkee: The greater good.


i1126.photobucket.com
Approves.
 
2012-11-06 12:12:01 PM  

Marine1: You know what almost always works?

Paper ballots going into a scantron machine.

But OMG COMPUTORZ.


Um... scantrons fail as often or more often than most forms of electronic voting. Punch-card readers fail significantly more often than either. Also, a scantron reader is a computer, numbnuts.

These are, in fact, one of the reasons that we've been switching to computerized ballots, along with irregularities in the procedure being easier to identify and track and there being a better, albeit less literal, paper trail (stick some extra paper ballots in the box? No one will ever know. Alter the numbers in a machine? "File last edited on:"...).

Basically, while you're entitled to your own (moronic luddite) opinion, you don't get your own facts. fark off.
 
2012-11-06 12:15:03 PM  
FTFA: All the machines were fixed by 7:25 a.m

What's the definition of "fix" here?
 
2012-11-06 12:20:15 PM  

fruitloop: FizixJunkee: The greater good.

Where's my super suit?


A Broadisde Battlesuit, a StealthSuit or just a plain ol' Crisis Suit?
 
2012-11-06 12:20:31 PM  

Jim_Callahan: Marine1: You know what almost always works?

Paper ballots going into a scantron machine.

But OMG COMPUTORZ.

Um... scantrons fail as often or more often than most forms of electronic voting. Punch-card readers fail significantly more often than either. Also, a scantron reader is a computer, numbnuts.

These are, in fact, one of the reasons that we've been switching to computerized ballots, along with irregularities in the procedure being easier to identify and track and there being a better, albeit less literal, paper trail (stick some extra paper ballots in the box? No one will ever know. Alter the numbers in a machine? "File last edited on:"...).


So get a couple of sheriff's deputies to provide security over the ballot boxes. Toss a couple locking points on there as well and let the local democratic and republican chiefs put their own padlocks on it. I for one believe that America is exceptional enough that we can count up check marks in a reasonable amount of time.
 
2012-11-06 12:25:01 PM  
It's not the machines - it's people that slow things up.

You know the ones if you get stuck behind one for an ATM or in the self-checkout lone. They need to hunt and peck those keys every time.

80286 brains in a Core i7 world.
 
2012-11-06 12:30:55 PM  
Start shooting the programmers?

or start shooting the machines...?
 
2012-11-06 12:37:53 PM  
hollywoodhatesme.files.wordpress.com

The greater good. The greater good. The greater good.
 
2012-11-06 12:40:35 PM  
www.dmuth.org

/Don't you hate it when the voting machine transforms into a robot and gives you a prostate exam... 
//The prostate was fine
///Timmy still couldn't sit for a week
 
2012-11-06 12:42:48 PM  

ArkPanda: Marine1: You know what almost always works?

Paper ballots going into a scantron machine.

But OMG COMPUTORZ.

Actually the scantron machine at my precinct (in Little Rock, AR) was broken this morning. But they just put the ballots in an old school ballot box to be scanned later.


sure they did
 
2012-11-06 12:44:48 PM  

ObscureNameHere: fruitloop: FizixJunkee: The greater good.

Where's my super suit?

A Broadisde Battlesuit, a StealthSuit or just a plain ol' Crisis Suit?


XV22 Battlesuit FTW!
 
2012-11-06 12:48:49 PM  
The greater good.
 
Bf+
2012-11-06 12:48:58 PM  
i.ytimg.com
 
2012-11-06 12:49:33 PM  

Jim_Callahan: Marine1: You know what almost always works?

Paper ballots going into a scantron machine.

But OMG COMPUTORZ.

Um... scantrons fail as often or more often than most forms of electronic voting. Punch-card readers fail significantly more often than either. Also, a scantron reader is a computer, numbnuts.

These are, in fact, one of the reasons that we've been switching to computerized ballots, along with irregularities in the procedure being easier to identify and track and there being a better, albeit less literal, paper trail (stick some extra paper ballots in the box? No one will ever know. Alter the numbers in a machine? "File last edited on:"...).

Basically, while you're entitled to your own (moronic luddite) opinion, you don't get your own facts. fark off.


You first. It's quite easy to know if paper ballots have been added or removed if they're all serialized, and if the machine that anlyses the results (two people pulling the ballots out of the box, agreeing on what their marking is and adding 1 to a number) fails, we have many others ready to take their place.

Our federal elections use pencil marks on paper and the only reason the results take hours is because we have to respect the electoral process in other time zones. There's no reason why all of Canada can routinely and easily get a straight answer to a simple question and a single US state cannot.
 
2012-11-06 12:57:43 PM  

TofuTheAlmighty: Republicans have more than amply demonstrated their malice and contempt for voting rights.


I don't disagree. However - election problems are almost always due to incompetence rather than someone deliberately trying to rig an election by fark'n with voting machines.

/which is why elections should be as simple as possible - pencil and paper biatches
 
2012-11-06 01:03:08 PM  

YouPeopleAreCrazy: ...a programming snafu required a last-minute update was needed for about 500 machines in 150 polling places.

Sorry, but no. Those machines should have been taken completely out of service, and then fall back on some other system. Paper, for instance.

Far too easy to inject malicious, unverified code into the system at that point.

/no last minute updates, ever
//even better, how about no electronic voting, ever


Iraq had it right when they started using the purple ink on the finger. It's so simple even a Democrat can do it
 
2012-11-06 01:03:31 PM  

Jim_Callahan: These are, in fact, one of the reasons that we've been switching to computerized ballots, along with irregularities in the procedure being easier to identify and track and there being a better, albeit less literal, paper trail (stick some extra paper ballots in the box? No one will ever know. Alter the numbers in a machine? "File last edited on:"...).

Basically, while you're entitled to your own (moronic luddite) opinion, you don't get your own facts. fark off.


I've read the system analysis for a number of full-electronic voting systems. Their paper trails and security did not impress me. There were FUBARS like the system automatically copying the vote table and using one table for overall counts and another for regional. Just seems tailer made for vote fraud.

I'm still in the camp of paper ballot scanned by automatic machine. Because it's done in batches, if there's any question you can immediately become very granular in your investigation, and machine failure allows you to use a different machine or just hand count that box.
 
2012-11-06 01:06:01 PM  
Xenos scum.
 
2012-11-06 01:12:00 PM  

slayer199


The greater good. The greater good. The greater good.


SHUT IT!
 
2012-11-06 01:30:44 PM  

Citrate1007: Doesn't Romney own stock in the company that makes those machines?


A lot of voting machines (and ATMs) are made by Diebold - which is publicly traded - so a lot of people own stock in it.

/Owns DBD stock
//Voted for Obama
 
2012-11-06 01:34:50 PM  
I got to my polling place around 5:45 am. Was #6 in line. Our machines didn't get fixed until around 6:45 am. Not a big problem in my precinct. My boss however, took him almost 2 hours to get his vote in.
 
2012-11-06 01:37:43 PM  
Ah, so this is the day Skynet becomes self-aware.
 
2012-11-06 01:41:37 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-11-06 01:46:29 PM  

gingerjet: /which is why elections should be as simple as possible - pencil and paper biatches


Unless you're blind. Or don't read English. Or have trouble getting to a polling place. Or the person reading your ballot misunderstands your mark. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Paper is the traditional choice, but it's not one we made given the modern alternatives and decided was best, it's just the only one that existed when we started voting. It might be the right choice, but don't fall into the logical trap of assuming there are no problems with the old method just because people have noticed problems with the new method.

There's huge value in using an electronic user interface. It can support multiple languages, audio/video/braille/etc. interfaces, produces unambiguous output, can be displayed on a portable computer for improved mobility, etc. And it does all this in a single standardized form so you don't have to come up with 100 different special-access voting systems and rules about who can use them and how they are counted. That's not to say it couldn't be done wrong, but that's not a risk unique to an electronic UI -- there are plenty of confusing paper ballots in use right now.

Where we do agree is that there should be some permanent, audit-able, non-electronic record of your ballot. There's no reason the electronic machine couldn't spit out a fraking piece of paper that displays your votes in an unambiguous human-and-machine-readable format. It could keep a tally internally but it would be trivial to externally verify that tally if you had any reason to doubt it (and even just as a spot check). It could even give you a second, cryptographically signed record that you can take home -- it would then be possible for people outside the government to officially audit election results, at least if the populous was willing to cooperate.

/ Also, stop making people stand in line to vote. We have the technology and infrastructure (mail, Internet, etc.) to avoid those hassles and restrictions.
 
2012-11-06 01:51:11 PM  
VOTE ROBOT IN 2012
 
2012-11-06 01:55:43 PM  
Will they then be taking care of the hoodies and the living statue?
 
2012-11-06 01:59:30 PM  

suburbanguy: /Owns DBD stock
//Voted for Obama


That's what YOU think.
 
2012-11-06 02:04:17 PM  
Once people made it to the voting booth, there were plenty of important races to sort through,...

Thanks, affirmative action!
 
2012-11-06 02:14:28 PM  
According to the AJC, as of 1:30 pm, there have been 35,000 complaints made to the federal voter problem hotline.
 
2012-11-06 02:24:52 PM  

JackieRabbit: According to the AJC, as of 1:30 pm, there have been 35,000 complaints made to the federal voter problem hotline.


What's the average per election?
 
2012-11-06 02:29:36 PM  

Gyrfalcon: JackieRabbit: According to the AJC, as of 1:30 pm, there have been 35,000 complaints made to the federal voter problem hotline.

What's the average per election?


I don't know. I was wondering that myself. Not finding much on the net...
 
2012-11-06 02:37:59 PM  

Badgers: [www.dmuth.org image 640x480]

/Don't you hate it when the voting machine transforms into a robot and gives you a prostate exam... 
//The prostate was fine
///Timmy still couldn't sit for a week


sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2012-11-06 02:43:16 PM  

tonyfo98: The greater good...

/Not Judge Judy, an executioner.


....crusty jugglers......
 
2012-11-06 02:49:25 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-11-06 03:21:22 PM  

Marine1: You know what almost always works?

Paper ballots going into a scantron machine.

But OMG COMPUTORZ.


www.hangthebankers.com
So it begins.
 
2012-11-06 03:34:45 PM  
Do they even make Dalek-sized cowls?
 
2012-11-06 03:42:37 PM  

Flakeloaf: Our federal elections use pencil marks on paper and the only reason the results take hours is because we have to respect the electoral process in other time zones. There's no reason why all of Canada can routinely and easily get a straight answer to a simple question and a single US state cannot.


The main difference is that the US elections are for more than one office. They're more like a Canadian municipal election, which at least around Vancouver is done on an optical-scan form.
 
2012-11-06 03:58:51 PM  

Flakeloaf: Our federal elections use pencil marks on paper and the only reason the results take hours is because we have to respect the electoral process in other time zones. There's no reason why all of Canada can routinely and easily get a straight answer to a simple question and a single US state cannot.


There is no such thing as a "federal election". The balloting method is left to the state and even the local election officials to decide. Some counties use optical scanners, some mechanical machines, some punch cars, some electronic voting machines. A few even allow names to be written on paper and placed in a ballot box.

There is no person in the US that is elected by the entire population. All elections are state events, as mandated by the constitution. Not even the president is so elected by the people. Rather the states vote for electors - or representatives to the Electoral College. The election of the electors to the EC must take place on the second Tuesday in November, but the manner in which those electors are chosen is not fixed. There is no right in the constitution for citizens to vote directly for a presidential candidate. So counting the aggregate popular vote is pointless. As we have seen on a few occasions, the winner of the popular vote may not necessarily be elected president. Because we have 50 states, 3077 counties and parishes, and tens-of-thousands of voting precincts is the reason it takes so long to get the results of a close presidential election.
 
2012-11-06 04:01:14 PM  
Took about 5 tries for the machine (which is a glorified scantron) to take my son's ballot this morning in Western New York. He was voter #3 in our district. I can only imagine it has gotten worse.
/I was #2 when I did my civic duty.
//I have all the poop jokes.
 
2012-11-06 04:24:24 PM  
How about a touch screen that prints out a filled out paper ballot as its output? Then you scan or hand count the ballot as appropriate. There's no database storage. Then you have all the UI benefits of a computer with the verifiability of paper.
 
2012-11-06 04:59:32 PM  
Ah, election fraud! There is so many ways to do it. Florida has a 12 page and rather complex ballot today. So voters there are waiting as long as three hours to vote. There are also numerous complains of equipment malfunctions and voters not being found in the registration rolls. If anyone does not believe that this is intentional, in order to discourage voting, I have a bridge in NYC you may be interested in. I can let you have it cheap.
 
2012-11-06 05:14:31 PM  
Standardize it. Don't politicize it.
Standardize it and I will utilize it.
 
2012-11-06 05:34:53 PM  

FizixJunkee: The greater good.


How can this be for the greater good?
 
2012-11-06 07:14:02 PM  
What the hell is wrong with these people? Two to three hours to vote?!

Are they so stupid that they do not know about absentee ballots? WTF is wrong with these numbskulls?
 
2012-11-06 09:47:27 PM  
So they take the votes digitally then print them out and fax them?
 
2012-11-07 02:46:34 PM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: suburbanguy: /Owns DBD stock
//Voted for Obama

That's what YOU think.


The electronic voting machines we use in our county print your vote onto a paper ballot when you're finished. I watched it print my Obama vote. Since he won our highly sought swing state (OH), I guess it worked...
 
2012-11-08 08:02:59 AM  

Ivo Shandor: Flakeloaf: Our federal elections use pencil marks on paper and the only reason the results take hours is because we have to respect the electoral process in other time zones. There's no reason why all of Canada can routinely and easily get a straight answer to a simple question and a single US state cannot.

The main difference is that the US elections are for more than one office. They're more like a Canadian municipal election, which at least around Vancouver is done on an optical-scan form.


As I have since learned from your post and the one that followed it. If it's absolutely necessary to vote for all of these things at the same time in each individual county, then yeah I can see it turning into a complete disasterpiece. Here I thought it was some unified body of ECs holding one miniature, identical election per district because I don't understand how the US political system works. Which would be no barrier to voting, apparently :)
 
Displayed 63 of 63 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report