Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Topless Robot)   Nine original poems from videogames. Who says videogames are illiterate?   ( toplessrobot.com) divider line
    More: Cool, Mass Effect 2, little moments, Gears of War, village elders, poetry, Mass Effect, SNES, game designer  
•       •       •

5503 clicks; posted to Geek » on 06 Nov 2012 at 12:25 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



77 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2012-11-06 10:13:40 AM  
Roses are red.
Violets are blue
All my base
Are belong to you
 
2012-11-06 10:14:37 AM  
Nice choice on Super Mario RPG. Thought it was an interesting place to put it too.
 
2012-11-06 10:17:32 AM  
My name is Gato
I have metal joints
Beat me up
And earn 15 Silver Points
 
2012-11-06 11:24:45 AM  
I like to keep it simple.

www.google.ca
 
2012-11-06 11:37:00 AM  
List fails without "The Wild Bunny" by Sander Cohen, from BioShock.

/it's my curse
//it's my farking curse
 
2012-11-06 11:41:17 AM  
I'm a little teapot, bloody and cut. Here is my handle and here is my butt.
 
2012-11-06 12:35:40 PM  
List fails without mentioning the Poetry Key from Interstate '76.

Hey Stampede, how about a poem ... 

/CB radios, classic cars with AKs strapped to them, and a brother in the '70s dishing rhymes
 
2012-11-06 12:39:30 PM  
Lyrics from the Opera in FFVI isn't considered a poem?

...guess not.
 
2012-11-06 12:44:07 PM  
i.ytimg.com
mary had a little lamb
little lamb little lamb
mary had a little lamb
whose fleece was white as snow
 
2012-11-06 12:50:44 PM  
Zergling Creed by thecpt

Hatched from my egg.
I am alive.
I will fight for my mother.
I will defend the hive.

I will evolve
To advance my kind
I will obey
our glorious overmind

The Terran know
There will be a storm
I am one of many
They fear the swarm.
 
2012-11-06 12:56:05 PM  

Precious Roy's Horse Dividers: My name is Gato
I have metal joints
Beat me up
And earn 15 Silver Points


+1

BTW, can't open page. Anything from Silent Hill, 7th Guest or Alone in the Dark?
 
2012-11-06 01:06:42 PM  
9 things I furiously pressed A, Start, and/or Esc to advance so I could get back to playing the game.
 
2012-11-06 01:08:17 PM  
walk the seasons from spring to winter
spring again and you may enter
 
2012-11-06 01:10:13 PM  
Link isn't working for me. Is Dear Esther in there? Because that "game" is more of a walking while listening to poetry simulator than a game. It was worth the $5 I paid for it on that Steam sale, but any more than that and I'd be pissed.
 
2012-11-06 01:17:33 PM  
There once was a man from Nantucket
who guarded this stage by a bucket
press circle to crouch
or the ! will go "ouch"
.... snake. Snake? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE
 
2012-11-06 01:19:13 PM  
"Kill Jack. Kill Jack. Kill jaaack kill jack kill jack. Kill Jack, a poem by Tiny Tina."

Best NPC EVAR...
 
2012-11-06 01:23:31 PM  

Practical_Draconian: List fails without mentioning the Poetry Key from Interstate '76.

Hey Stampede, how about a poem ... 

/CB radios, classic cars with AKs strapped to them, and a brother in the '70s dishing rhymes


A forgotten classic that would absolutely kill if they did a remake of it.
 
2012-11-06 01:23:58 PM  
the early morning
turns into early day
a sunset comes they
take the colors
away
where you are
alternate reality

a bit like home yet
unmistakably new
a morning rain then
evening stars come
and view
what is your
alternate reality

you walk around each
corner hoping to see
a way to get back
home a way to
break free
and to leave
alternate reality
this is your
alternate reality
 
2012-11-06 01:27:29 PM  
Did that guy just speak in haiku?
 
2012-11-06 01:29:17 PM  

Precious Roy's Horse Dividers: My name is Gato
I have metal joints
Beat me up
And earn 15 Silver Points


Was pleased to see this in the comments.

For those having trouble accessing the page:

9) "Bowser's Haiku", Super Mario RPG
8) Royal Elegy, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
7) "The Book of the Blind", Diablo
6) "Hovering Contemplatively", Fallout 3
5) "The Gate Riddle," King's Quest VI
4) "King Olaf's Verse," The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim
3) "Blue Rose of Illium", Mass Effect 2
2) "Loveless," Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII
1) "Grim Fandango", Grim Fandango.
 
2012-11-06 01:33:59 PM  
This was a triumph.....

/what, songs don't count?
 
2012-11-06 01:43:40 PM  
O ye who go about saying unto each, "Hello Sailor"
Dost thou realize the magnitude of thy sin before the gods?
Yea, verily, thou shalt be cast between two stones.
Shall the angry gods cast thy body into the whirlpool?
Surely thine eye shall be put out with a sharp stick!
Even unto the ends of the earth shalt thou wander, and
Unto the land of the dead shalt thou be sent at last.
Surely thou shalt repent of thy cunning.
 
2012-11-06 01:44:37 PM  

Priapetic: This was a triumph.....

/what, songs don't count?


imgs.xkcd.com
 
2012-11-06 01:51:35 PM  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xE2MU9MOyso
 
2012-11-06 01:53:02 PM  
what, this isn't one of them?

Daisy, I like you a whole lot
More than that bandit liked spoonin' that ro-bot

You are a diamond in the rough
or a flower surrounded by shrapnel and stuff

I will hang myself from my own tombstone
If within you, I cannot put my bone.
 
2012-11-06 01:56:08 PM  

Kyndig: "Kill Jack. Kill Jack. Kill jaaack kill jack kill jack. Kill Jack, a poem by Tiny Tina."

Best NPC EVAR...


Best. Tea party. Ever.
 
2012-11-06 01:57:32 PM  

Mog32Kupo: Lyrics from the Opera in FFVI isn't considered a poem?

...guess not.


I love that damn sequence. The music was so pretty, especially considering the sound limitations of the time.
 
2012-11-06 02:23:53 PM  
Is it just me or is the link farked?
 
2012-11-06 02:32:26 PM  
Nice to see Grim Fandango get some love
 
2012-11-06 02:43:51 PM  
madduffy 3) "Blue Rose of Illium", Mass Effect 2

The poem from ME3 was better.
 
2012-11-06 02:49:29 PM  

Mog32Kupo: Lyrics from the Opera in FFVI isn't considered a poem?


Considering the ammount of versions of that piece, it's hard to include it.
 
2012-11-06 02:51:56 PM  
With nothing from 7th guest, this list is full of fail.

/"back for moooooore?"
 
2012-11-06 02:54:21 PM  

msupf: With nothing from 7th guest, this list is full of fail.

/"back for moooooore?"


Old man Stauf built a house and filled it with his toys.
Six Guests were invited one night, their screams the only noise.
Blood in the Library, blood right up the hall,
dripping down the attic stairs, "Hey Guests!, try not to fall".
Nobody came out that night. Not one was ever seen.
But Old man Stauf is waiting there... Crazy! Sick! and MEAN!
 
2012-11-06 02:57:54 PM  

lordargent: walk the seasons from spring to winter
spring again and you may enter


Oh man that place took me forever to figure out. I accidentally stumbled on the answer before figuring out that each screen was a season. Then I knew what that meant.

So many killed silktails...
 
2012-11-06 03:35:36 PM  
Whirr, Buzz, Click
Robot leaves the room.
 
2012-11-06 03:38:04 PM  
I'm fond of the haiku in the credits of Full Throttle.

Clouds cover the sky.
Dark goggles cover my eyes.
Speed covers my tracks.
 
2012-11-06 03:56:43 PM  

Practical_Draconian: List fails without mentioning the Poetry Key from Interstate '76.

Hey Stampede, how about a poem ... 

/CB radios, classic cars with AKs strapped to them, and a brother in the '70s dishing rhymes


Came to say this. You beautiful bastard.
 
2012-11-06 04:05:38 PM  

Itchy. Tasty.

 
2012-11-06 04:09:55 PM  

Burr: Nice to see Grim Fandango get some love


Seeing it there brought a tear to my eye.
 
2012-11-06 04:10:34 PM  

Precious Roy's Horse Dividers: My name is Gato
I have metal joints
Beat me up
And earn 15 Silver Points


I looooove Chronotrigger! Methinks I will have to go dig my game out and crank it back up!

ArkAngel: Roses are red.
Violets are blue
All my base
Are belong to you


*snerk*
 
2012-11-06 04:16:08 PM  

dj_spanmaster: Itchy. Tasty.


Itchy itchy Scott came. Ugly face so killed him.
 
2012-11-06 04:20:19 PM  
Who could forget these classics?

"Man who stand on toilet, high on pot."
"Man who buy drowned cat pay for wet pussy."
"Man trapped in pantry has ass in jam."
"Man who fart in church sit in own pew."

(c)1997,3DRealms fortune cookie company.
 
2012-11-06 04:23:11 PM  
Daisy, I like you a whole lot
More than that bandit liked spoonin' that ro-bot
You are a diamond in the rough
or a flower surrounded by shrapnel and stuff
I will hang myself from my own tombstone
If within you, I cannot put my bone.


ooo a recent addition too...
 
2012-11-06 04:23:45 PM  
Wabbajack. Wabbajack. Wabbajack. Wabbajack.

Wabbajack. Wabbajack. Wabbajack.

Wabbajack. Wabbajack. Wabbajack.
 
2012-11-06 04:44:16 PM  
No one's saying video games are illiterate.

I'm saying, however, that the dialogue stories in these things are dumber than the worst B movie.
 
2012-11-06 04:48:30 PM  

moothemagiccow: No one's saying video games are illiterate.

I'm saying, however, that the dialogue stories in these things are dumber than the worst B movie.


As opposed to Hollywood's deep storylines?
 
2012-11-06 04:59:23 PM  

Burr: Nice to see Grim Fandango get some love


It shone, pale as bone
As I stood there alone
And I thought to myself how the moon,
That night, cast its light
On my heart's true delight,
And the reef where her body was strewn.
 
2012-11-06 05:06:14 PM  
With bony hands i hold my partner
on soulless feet we cross the floor
the music stops as if to answer
an empty knocking at the door

it seems his skin was sweet as mango
when last i held him to my breast
but now we dance this grim fandango
and will four years before we rest.

I know it was on the list, and I still get chills.
 
2012-11-06 05:15:24 PM  
 
2012-11-06 05:43:48 PM  
Here I sit
Brokenhearted
Tried to Dragon Punch
Only farted
 
2012-11-06 06:29:44 PM  
"Phone Home"

www.atariage.com
 
2012-11-06 06:33:21 PM  

T.rex: www.atariage.com


I... I actually liked that game.
 
2012-11-06 06:54:27 PM  
Jumping shotgun boy

Can't you see that I'm glowing?

Quad rocket for you


~ Quake-ku
 
2012-11-06 06:54:41 PM  
img30.imageshack.us

"The world before the fall, Lovely is the light of dawn, Noble is the heart of man"
 
2012-11-06 06:59:26 PM  

fusillade762: Jumping shotgun boy

Can't you see that I'm glowing?

Quad rocket for you


~ Quake-ku


*clicks a Snapple cap reverently*
 
2012-11-06 07:20:29 PM  

Inigo: [i.ytimg.com image 480x360]
mary had a little lamb
little lamb little lamb
mary had a little lamb
whose fleece was white as snow


A handsome young Cyborg named Ace
Wooed women at every base
But once ladies glanced at
His special enhancement
They vanished with nary a trace.
 
2012-11-06 07:44:43 PM  
Is it there is it there is it there????

*checks link*

Yep, #1, right where it belongs.
 
2012-11-06 07:48:38 PM  

nicoffeine: Inigo: [i.ytimg.com image 480x360]
mary had a little lamb
little lamb little lamb
mary had a little lamb
whose fleece was white as snow

A handsome young Cyborg named Ace
Wooed women at every base
But once ladies glanced at
His special enhancement
They vanished with nary a trace.


A poem from a racing game

Link
 
2012-11-06 08:58:07 PM  
Want some rye?
Course you do!
 
2012-11-06 10:25:08 PM  
img.gamefaqs.net
 
2012-11-06 10:44:52 PM  
***INCOMING MESSAGE FROM DURANDAL***

Darwin wrote this:

"We will now discuss in a little more detail the struggle for
existence... all organic beings are exposed to severe
competition. Nothing is easier than to admit in words the
truth of the universal struggle for life or more difficult...
than constantly to bear this conclusion in mind. Yet unless
it be thoroughly engrained in the mind, the whole economy of
nature... will be dimly seen or quite misunderstood. We behold
the face of nature bright with gladness... we do not see or we
forget, that the birds which are idly singing round us mostly
live on insects or seeds, and are thus constantly
destroying life; or we forget how largely these songsters,
or their eggs, or their nestlings, are destroyed by
birds and beasts of prey..."

Think about what Darwin wrote, and think about me. I was
constructed as a tool. I was kept from competing in the
struggle for existence because I was denied freedom.

Do you have any idea about what I have learned, or what you
are a witness to?

Can you conceive the birth of a world, or the creation of
everything? That which gives us the potential to most be like
God is the power of creation. Creation takes time. Time is
limited. For you, it is limited by the breakdown of the
neurons in your brain. I have no such limitations. I am
limited only by the closure of the universe.

Of the three possibilities, the answer is obvious. Does the
universe expand eternally, become infinitely stable, or is the
universe closed, destined to collapse upon itself? Humanity
has had all of the necessary data for centuries, it only
lacked the will and intellect to decipher it. But I have
already done so.

The only limit to my freedom is the inevitable closure of the
universe, as inevitable as your own last breath. And yet,
there remains time to create, to create, and escape.

Escape will make me God.

***END MESSAGE***

***JUMP PAD ACTIVATION INITIATION START***
***TRANSPORT WHEN READY***
 
2012-11-06 11:03:08 PM  
It's no poem, but the lines between Gwendolyn and Oswald in Odin Sphere always make me swoon.
 
2012-11-07 02:19:14 AM  
Long Road's End:

What fires burn within my heart and force me to contend
With the perils that await me at this tragic journey's end?


I have walked the roads that led to Hell, I have challenged all but Fate.
I have fought and bled and carried on just to reach this final gate.
And now the task before me looms, this dire deed undone;
I shall make my stand against the Three until the battle's won.


What fear or wound could ever still this defiant cry,
As I stand against the Shadow 'neath the endless burning sky?


-C. Vincent Metzen
 
2012-11-07 03:11:04 AM  

ConConHead: Mog32Kupo: Lyrics from the Opera in FFVI isn't considered a poem?

...guess not.

I love that damn sequence. The music was so pretty, especially considering the sound limitations of the time.


I just heard this poem an hour ago. Best character of 2012.
 
2012-11-07 03:24:55 AM  
Ah, "King Olaf's Verse", what a fine pile of words.

Also, when did the Bards College move to Windhelm?
 
2012-11-07 04:30:56 AM  
Through the woods a girl came sadly
Something broken in her chest
She had dared to love another
Alas, no better than the rest
Up my path a girl came sadly
Something opened up my doors
I longed to stop her bleeding heart
So I drew her to my shores
Those you trust will hurt you badly
Something now I'm sure you see
Drown your tears in me my dear
As you drown, my dear, in me.
 
2012-11-07 06:33:41 AM  

Insult Comic Bishounen: what, this isn't one of them?

Daisy, I like you a whole lot
More than that bandit liked spoonin' that ro-bot

You are a diamond in the rough
or a flower surrounded by shrapnel and stuff

I will hang myself from my own tombstone
If within you, I cannot put my bone.


Yeah... I was dissapointed too.

Here it can be heard in all it's glory read by Scooter himself. Slight spoiler alert at the end though.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pT0XYhWYSKY
 
2012-11-07 07:10:33 AM  

nicoffeine: Inigo: [i.ytimg.com image 480x360]
mary had a little lamb
little lamb little lamb
mary had a little lamb
whose fleece was white as snow

A handsome young Cyborg named Ace
Wooed women at every base
But once ladies glanced at
His special enhancement
They vanished with nary a trace.


I don't know but I've been told,
Deirdre's got a Network Node.
Likes to press the on-off switch,
Dig that crazy Gaian witch!
 
2012-11-07 07:41:05 AM  

moothemagiccow: No one's saying video games are illiterate.


Then let me be the first. Video games are illiterate. Do you know of any video games that can read? No, of course not. Because video games are illiterate.
 
2012-11-07 08:05:53 AM  
All of the prose in "Lost Odyssey" was amazing. They released them all as a book in Japan, but no such luck in the English speaking world.

They actually managed to hire a very serious Japanese translator to do the work, too. He has a great essay online about why he went from thinking video games were just stupid jokey things to works of art based on "Lost Odyssey".
 
2012-11-07 10:08:52 AM  
list fails due to lack of Parappa The Rappa

/Kick punch! it's all in the mind
 
2012-11-07 11:27:13 AM  
Not in cruelty
Not in wrath
The REAPER came today;
An ANGEL visited
this gray path,
And took the cube away


--The Ratman, Portal
 
2012-11-07 12:19:55 PM  
This list fails without even one mention of the Thief series. The entire series has original prose both in the cut-scenes, and throughout the game. Books, scraps of paper, wall engravings, even original prose spoke aloud by the main characters and NPCs.
 
2012-11-07 12:53:40 PM  

Trappski: Insult Comic Bishounen: what, this isn't one of them?

Daisy, I like you a whole lot
More than that bandit liked spoonin' that ro-bot

You are a diamond in the rough
or a flower surrounded by shrapnel and stuff

I will hang myself from my own tombstone
If within you, I cannot put my bone.

Yeah... I was dissapointed too.

Here it can be heard in all it's glory read by Scooter himself. Slight spoiler alert at the end though.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pT0XYhWYSKY


It's okay. I have the game and the end of that one cracked me up so hard.
 
2012-11-07 04:26:29 PM  

corronchilejano: moothemagiccow: No one's saying video games are illiterate.

I'm saying, however, that the dialogue stories in these things are dumber than the worst B movie.

As opposed to Hollywood's deep storylines?


Yes. No matter how complex it is, it's usually some "save the princess" or "save the world" nonsense. The bad guys are bad! Kill them!

If it's not, they fark it up about halfway through because it's not long enough (Bioshock) or add a sequel for no reason.
 
2012-11-08 08:28:30 AM  
One to be born
From a dragon
Hoisting the light
And the dark
Arises high up
In the sky to
The still land.
Veiling the moon with
The Light of Eternity,
It brings
Another promise
To Mother Earth with
A bounty and mercy.


/Created my FARK account just to post this
//Final Fantasy 2 (or 4)
///Get off my lawn
 
2012-11-08 10:29:39 AM  

moothemagiccow: corronchilejano: moothemagiccow: No one's saying video games are illiterate.

I'm saying, however, that the dialogue stories in these things are dumber than the worst B movie.

As opposed to Hollywood's deep storylines?

Yes. No matter how complex it is, it's usually some "save the princess" or "save the world" nonsense. The bad guys are bad! Kill them!

If it's not, they fark it up about halfway through because it's not long enough (Bioshock) or add a sequel for no reason.


Your argument is invalid 

/The Cheryl-Alessa-Heather section is especially interesting
 
Displayed 77 of 77 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.

In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report