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(Courier Mail)   If you go whale-sighting and you're lucky enough to spot one, suddenly the behemoth doesn't look so noble and majestic as it's breaching on top of your boat   (couriermail.com.au) divider line 32
    More: Scary, humpback whales, boats  
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13608 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Nov 2012 at 11:37 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-06 08:20:39 AM
resources1.news.com.au

I'm on a boat motherfarker, take a look at me
Straight flowing on a boat on the deep blue sea
 
2012-11-06 11:34:52 AM
i881.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-06 11:39:46 AM
Does "soft tissue" mean "flaccid penis"?
 
2012-11-06 11:40:38 AM
File an incident report if you want, we all know you sustained those injuries farking a fat chick.
 
2012-11-06 11:40:50 AM
OH SHI-
 
2012-11-06 11:43:07 AM
The one that got away...
 
2012-11-06 11:44:00 AM
A BREACHING whale has leapt out of the sea off South Africa and landed on a boat, injuring three men, one seriously, officials say.


Me thinks I've found why; they were probably trying to harvest whale horn and grind it into impotence gel or whatever they call it.

/ I know whales don't have horns; they do however have a large horn-like appendage that comes out of their bodies...
 
2012-11-06 11:46:45 AM
It was probably still upset about Stephen Biko.
 
2012-11-06 11:46:59 AM
Improbable. Don't forget the towel.

fc06.deviantart.net
 
2012-11-06 11:47:23 AM
There are as many narwhals in South Africa as there are penguins in your fundament, buddy.

/poor Pingu.
 
2012-11-06 11:57:20 AM

iheartscotch: A BREACHING whale has leapt out of the sea off South Africa and landed on a boat, injuring three men, one seriously, officials say.


Me thinks I've found why; they were probably trying to harvest whale horn and grind it into impotence gel or whatever they call it.

/ I know whales don't have horns; they do however have a large horn-like appendage that comes out of their bodies...


Whalebone?
 
2012-11-06 11:58:11 AM
1.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com

Obligatory.
 
2012-11-06 11:58:27 AM
Rich people problems
 
2012-11-06 11:59:29 AM
cdn.uproxx.com
 
2012-11-06 12:06:42 PM
I sincerely thought "breaching" meant the whale was giving birth as it leaped over the boat. I am quite the dissatisfied customer.

/Still, at least it had time to think about the potted plant while it fell back down...
 
2012-11-06 12:19:09 PM

Spanky McStupid: [1.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com image 600x400]

Obligatory.


Awesome.
 
2012-11-06 12:24:24 PM
There was no example of what Port Elizabeth and a whale would look like. Seems like a missed reporting moment.
 
2012-11-06 12:26:07 PM
Serves the farkers right for getting too close.

In other news, Rita McNeil is doing a concert in South Africa?
 
2012-11-06 12:36:44 PM
Whale: Watch THIS!
 
2012-11-06 01:10:26 PM
Soft tissue injuries? So he got a boo-boo on his knee?
 
2012-11-06 01:12:10 PM
*raises hand*

Is anybody else pedantically annoyed that the headline uses "behemoth" (a land-dwelling monster) to refer to a whale, when "leviathan" would have been the more appropriate Biblical reference?

No?

Alrighty then, I'll just show myself out...

*hangs head, shuffles out of thread*
 
2012-11-06 01:14:39 PM

Parthenogenetic: *raises hand*

Is anybody else pedantically annoyed that the headline uses "behemoth" (a land-dwelling monster) to refer to a whale, when "leviathan" "Fat Chick" or "Farkett" would have been the more appropriate Biblical reference?

 

there ya go
 
2012-11-06 01:31:30 PM

maram500: I sincerely thought "breaching" meant the whale was giving birth as it leaped over the boat.


Actually that's a common misunderstanding of the word. There are many such Nautical "Neo-logisms" out in our vocabulary and figures of speech. For example, that friendly Bosun's Whistle your wife uses to call you to supper at family gatherings is the phonetic spelling of "Boat Swain", of course, soak it in rum for 12 years and it becomes "Bo'sun", much the way "Gaol" becomes "Jail " to prevent the drunken cockneys from calling it, "JAY-Oww". And likewise "Foc'sl", a crushed up pronunciation of "Forecastle", which is Late Medieval Frankish for the British term, "House Martin", referring to the young man kept specifically for the Captain's exclusive carnal pleasure. Oddly enough, We discarded the Cornish "martin" meaning "catamite" and the French version becomes the origin of our contemporary vulgarity, "fark."

Which brings us to Breaching. While it applies to the breaking of a wall for ancient siege masters, the Nautical construction is "Be reaching", referring of course to "reaching around", or the act of extending one's arm around and in front of one's shipmate while enjoined in sexual congress of the anal variety. It was considered good seamanship to always give a reach around during a buggery, and failure to provide this courtesy could get a sailor labled, "Connie Nae Breachin'", or "he's a sailor who will not give a reach-around". To be a breacher was comparable to what The Jew regarded as a Mensch, although Epididymus, in his 300 BC treatise on the Near East did not include any descriptions of man-on-man anal sex, nautical or otherwise.

Now you know. These men were attempting to take this whale anally and the beast was merely extending that time-honored courtesy, the reach around.
 
2012-11-06 02:01:27 PM

Cold_Sassy: iheartscotch: A BREACHING whale has leapt out of the sea off South Africa and landed on a boat, injuring three men, one seriously, officials say.


Me thinks I've found why; they were probably trying to harvest whale horn and grind it into impotence gel or whatever they call it.

/ I know whales don't have horns; they do however have a large horn-like appendage that comes out of their bodies...

Whalebone?


Represent!
 
2012-11-06 02:08:05 PM

midigod: It was probably still upset about Stephen Biko.


Port Elizabeth was feeling fine.
 
2012-11-06 02:57:28 PM
to the last I grapple with thee!
 
2012-11-06 03:41:04 PM
They must have spiked a gold coin into the mizzen mast.

/leave the farkin' whales alone
 
2012-11-06 03:45:53 PM
Not only the sea was angry that day, my friends.

www.lobshots.com
 
2012-11-06 03:48:20 PM
The editor for this article sucks. FTA: The men claim they were motoring slowly approximately a kilometre offshore when a whale breached in front of their boat and came onto their boat, causing the boat and all three men to go under water as the whale sunk back into the water," said Ian Gray, National Sea Rescue Institute (NSRI) Port Elizabeth station commander.

Not only are they using a measurement that no one cares about, but they've spelled it wrong. Seriously - you'd think that they'd have a spellchecker or something like that.
 
2012-11-06 06:36:39 PM
I thought it said 'mating on top of your boat'.

Don't know what that says about me.
 
2012-11-06 10:25:09 PM
HEY, Y'all. Hold muh Krill & watch this! SMASH!!

/Redneck wales
 
2012-11-07 11:53:51 AM
I've had a small one once use the barnacles on the bottom of the boat as a back scratcher. The experience of being that close to a gentle wild animal is numinous, albeit unnerving when it weighs more than your mode of transportation :)
 
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