"Where did you dig up that old fossil?"

Confabulat: "Where did you dig up that old fossil?"


We're done here.

Confabulat: "Where did you dig up that old fossil?"

Thread over

Here's what I think:

Han Solo: Appears in flashback with Chewbacca. The Falcon is being attacked (by who, we don't see) and lots of lights are flashing on the console. Chewie says something that can only be "We're f♥cked." and Han orders Chewie to take Leia and "the kids" into the escape pod. Chewie protests, and Han just looks at him and says, "You owe me, pal. Do this one last thing for me. Take care of them, alright?"

And of course, a few moments later the Falcon is destroyed as it smashes into the pursuing ship, preventing it from attacking the lifepod that is hurtling away from the scene.

Wipe to black.


Leia: Flashing forward, we see Leia as an old woman (older looking, even, than Carrie Fisher actually is). She's regal and strong for her age, but still obviously tired from a lifetime of struggling and service. She's in the Senate chamber on Coruscant, sitting patiently in a platform waiting while the current Chancellor addresses the chamber. We pan back and see that another woman is sitting with her. It's Jaina, her daughter (played by an unknown, or Jessica Biel, if I had my way). Jaina's resting her hand on her mother's, which are folded on her lap. They glance at each other and share a look that says, "Here we go, good luck." as the Chancellor's voice says, "Princess Leia Organa Solo and Jedi Jaina Solo."

They rise together, all political perfection, to speak...


Luke: The scene opens with two young Force-users fighting-- but then we notice they're both Jedi, and they're sparring, not fighting. Lots of action, lots of Force use, and after a moment or two we hear the voice of their Grandmaster say "stop."

They cease their session, immediately switching off their sabers and turning to face the dias above them. As the camera pans back we see the robed figure with his hood drawn over his head. He reaches up, pulls back the hood, and the unmistakable (though greatly aged) face of Luke Skywalker looks approvingly-- but expectantly-- down at the two young Jedi.

"What did you do wrong?" he says, nodding to the one on his left.

The young man frowns, then regains composure and furrows his brow in thought. "I don't know, Unc-" he catches himself, then continues, "Master Skywalker. What did I do?"

Luke smiles a bit, trying not to break the air of authority with his farmboy geniality, and turns to the other Jedi-- A boy much younger than the other. "What did Jacen do, Anakin?"

The younger boy smiles, his face lighting up with the realization that he's about to best his older brother in the philosophical points-winning game, and answers brightly, "He was acting out of anger after I accidentally cut off his braid. He was getting mad and letting it make his swings and bond with the Force less controlled, more sloppy."

Luke nods. "Yes. And I'm sure an accident like that won't happen again, right?"

Teenaged Anakin shrugs sheepishly, looking more like a kid in the process. "Well, he didn't need it anymore, right? I mean, he passed the trials." He turns to Jacen, "Why would you want to look like a padawan? I did you a favor."

Jacen looks up at his Uncle Luke, and across at his younger brother. "I was saving it for a proper ceremony, Anakin." he says, looking down at the braid on the training room floor. I wanted to do it like the Old Order."

Anakin rolls his eyes. "Ugh. All that fancy stuff got in the way. Right Master Skywalker?"

Luke tilts his head for a moment, and then answers. "Jacen's path is his own to follow. If he wishes to honor the old ways, that is his prerogative. I don't personally care for all the ceremonies, but I understand why he does. You should respect that, Anakin."

"I'm sorry." Anakin says, both to Jacen and Luke. "You're right. Maybe I was the one who lost my connection with the Force for a minute.

. . .


Chewbacca: His life-debt fulfilled, he is now a Senator for Kashyyk. He has moved his wife and child to Coruscant (though they dearly miss their homeworld). His son is a pilot, just like his father, and good friends with his spiritual "cousins" the Solos. Chewbacca himself is showing signs of age, with greying fur and tired eyes. He misses Han, but he has kept up his promise to protect Leia and the kids from both physical threats, and from the political mess that rose in the wake of the fall of the Empire.

. . .


Lando: We see Lando, briefly, back at Bespin. He's wealthy, famous, and still slick as Bantha grease. He is the head of the New Trade Federation, which is now comprised of businessmen from across the galaxy who seek to make the Republic a fair place to ply their trades.


. . .

The Droids: Still the same as ever. Never memory-wiped. Definitely getting more eccentric. Artoo is still with Luke most of the time, and 3PO is generally helping out Chewbacca as his personal interpreter (not everyone understand Shyriiwook, after all.) The droid see each other fairly frequently in the course of their duties on Coruscant, as the Senate and Jedi Order are in constant communication.

Shenanigans!: abhorrent1: Ambivalence: Does that mean Carrie Fischer would play aged Leah? She has not aged well.

Probably nothing a personal trainer and a good makeup artist can't fix.

Yeah, but what are they going to do about her drunk old lady voice?

Autotune

frepnog: can we just create stories that don't involve this bullshiat? I love han, luke, and leia, but for the love of god let's move on and tell new stories. I don't give a shiat that han's colostomy bag has to be changed, dammit.

if they actually make the new movie, and these old farkers MUST be in it, PLEASE put them in very small roles that have little to do with the main plot of the film. it has been too long to continue the story of han, luke and leia without recasting the roles.... and no one wants that.

I want to have high hopes for an awesome new star wars film. I don't want to show up and be treated to the star wars version of Superman Returns. It was a big damn universe. Surely some stuff can happen that those goobers weren't involved in.

This is what kills the prequels, EU and other follow up materials for me. Everything has to revolve around the original characters, and every scene has to have an echo of before. Every time you go to a gangster planet there is a recreation of Hutt's Palace and almost word for word copying. Ditto for almost everything else.

It's kind of crazy to see people on the internet go so nuts over this like THIS TIME it will be as awesome as you thought it was when you were four. THIS TIME it will be different. Oh internet. You never change.

ok some "magazine math" here

1 "according to sources close to the just-announced Star Wars sequel"

+

2 "Erhmagherd Weakly"

=

7 "Horseshiat"

you can replace 1 and 2 with "this guy what i know" and "has this cousin who.." and amazingly the answer works out to the same thing...

I've heard IG-88 will be the main character. Nein Numm to also figure prominently.

Does that mean Carrie Fischer would play aged Leah? She has not aged well.

Maybe Han will discover that he has a son and save himself from a deathstar blast by hiding in the Millennium Falcon's galley refrigerator.

Honkey, please.



You're 70 years old grandpa. Put down the blaster.