Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(My Fox 8 Greensboro)   Just out of curiosity, if you were to die at your desk right now how many days would it take your co-workers to figure it out?   ( divider line
    More: Scary, Maine Medical Center, Columbus Day  
•       •       •

685 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 05 Nov 2012 at 3:02 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

53 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

2012-11-05 12:03:39 PM  
10 minutes.

These farkers cant stay out of my office that long
2012-11-05 12:06:04 PM  
Considering I work in an environment where I don't have my own private office, about twenty minutes, at the most.
2012-11-05 12:16:20 PM  
Two hours, tops. Maybe three if I remain upright in my chair facing my computer.
2012-11-05 12:19:11 PM  
I work with my girlfriend, so it better not take more than 15 minutes or I'll be pissed.
2012-11-05 12:21:47 PM  
Less than 10 minutes. No desk and/or office.
2012-11-05 12:26:05 PM  
What day of the week is it?

If friday, it would be monday. any other day would be about 3 hours unless I croak near the end of the day, then it would be the next morning.
2012-11-05 12:29:08 PM  
Within a few hours. But we have a nightly cleaning crew, so even if I am the only one in the office for the whole day, poor Maria is going to find my cold ass corpse.
2012-11-05 12:29:25 PM  
Now that I think about it, if I were to slump over with my forehead against the table, people would just assume I'm sleeping. In that case, it would take hours, maybe even more than 24 hours. Unless my boss drops by, then it'd be at that moment that he discovers me 'sleeping.'
2012-11-05 12:47:49 PM  
The nosy guy would think I'm asleep and come harass me or call HR. So, maybe an hour or two?
2012-11-05 12:49:49 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: 10 minutes.

These farkers cant stay out of my office that long

Would they be able to tell that you were dead though?
2012-11-05 12:51:12 PM  
Depends how loud my death is. Less than two minutes. I work in an open space.
2012-11-05 12:58:34 PM  

KarmicDisaster: Would they be able to tell that you were dead though?

Only if I stop cussing.

Then they know they're farked
2012-11-05 01:02:05 PM  
My door is closed right now. I'm going to guess a minimum of three days, a maximum of two weeks.


My girlfriend would notice me not being home well before that and probably get someone to check on me. With her in the equation, probably no later than tomorrow morning.
2012-11-05 01:25:58 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: 10 minutes.

These farkers cant stay out of my office that long

2012-11-05 01:45:01 PM  
Quickly, I like to leave a trail when I die
2012-11-05 01:57:31 PM  

gridlocksammy: Quickly, I like to leave a trail when I die

How often have you gone through it, that you know you like it?
2012-11-05 02:11:45 PM  
My husband would have to remember to email them, so probably never. They'd probably just think I quit.

If they were interested enough to Google obituaries or death records, they might eventually figure it out.
2012-11-05 02:25:11 PM  
I have my own office and my door stays open. I doze off a lot (everyone is used to it by now), so it would probably take a few days and then I would probably be in need of some liming. In addition, I now live alone and only have a feral cat for companionship who is mad at me for feeding her Vienna sausages and Velveeta slices, so no one would ever notice on the homefront. My friends, on the other hand, who I meet for drinks most days, would notice immediately as I usually have to pick their tabs because they are reprobates.
2012-11-05 02:28:29 PM  
What is a cow orker?
2012-11-05 02:29:17 PM  
Normally a day or two but I should be receiving another anime dvd box set from Amazon which someone from the mailroom should bring up this afternoon.
2012-11-05 02:38:26 PM  
Well I'm in college so I shouldn't be authorized to answer this, but I'm at a desk currently, so...

Probably fifty minutes. They wouldn't notice until I didn't wake up at the end of the lecture.
2012-11-05 02:46:48 PM  
At my desk in court? 30 seconds.

At my desk in the office? I share an office with 7 other people, so not very long.
2012-11-05 02:58:32 PM  
I usually work with my door closed because I'm always on the phone. My secretary's desk is half a building away, I always go down to see her, she never comes here.

So... days probably? Definitely once decomp starts.
2012-11-05 03:07:33 PM  

notmtwain: What is a cow orker?
2012-11-05 03:09:00 PM  
I'd say end of the day. I forgot my phone, so my wife would be sitting at home getting more and more ticked. My boss would notice my truck still in the lot and come back in to let me know that I need to lock up behind me, then he'd see me slumped over with bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb all across my computer screen.
2012-11-05 03:21:25 PM  

scottydoesntknow: I work with my girlfriend, so it better not take more than 15 minutes or I'll be pissed.

Actually you'll be pissed either way.

Death causes you to evacuate your bladder and bowels...
2012-11-05 03:23:14 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: 10 minutes.

These farkers cant stay out of my office that long

yup, same here... I can't get any work done with all of the interruptions that happen in my day >.
2012-11-05 03:26:19 PM  
Our open concept work spaces (converted warehouses suck for programming) would mean minutes if I make a thump and hours otherwise.
2012-11-05 03:43:01 PM  
My work schedule is odd-- I occasionally pull 20+ hour shifts and work in environments I can't take my mobile into. I also can go days without seeing a co-worker. So, if nothing breaks & the homelife is quiet...maybe 3-4 days at the outside. Probably more like 24 hours though.
2012-11-05 03:58:38 PM  
Less than a minute. All of our workstations are in one large room.
2012-11-05 04:17:39 PM  
5min tops....went on vacation for 9 days and all day today they've been pawning all types of stupid crap off on me that the other people on my team couldnt figure out how to handle over the last 9 days. Serenity NOW~!~
2012-11-05 04:47:34 PM  
5-7 days. No one will notice tomorrow. If I don't answer my phone Wed-Fri then whatever. If I'm not returning messages or calls by Monday, they may wonder. Could be a week to ten days till they actually found out.
2012-11-05 04:49:04 PM  
I just murdered my boss at his desk, so I'm really getting a kick out of these replies.
2012-11-05 05:05:56 PM  
It's not so much how long it would take time to call for help if I dropped. I guess it would be quickly.
2012-11-05 05:07:24 PM  
My office is at the back of my home, so any time between five minutes, if someone showed up on my doorstep and looked in the window, and a couple of days, if my car was there and I hadn't been answering phone calls.
2012-11-05 05:19:11 PM  
My father was a civil engineer and he used to travel a lot. So it wasn't that unusual not to hear from him for awhile. But then after a month, everybody got worried. After another month, they found him on the floor of a cabin close to one of the oilfields he was working on. It was natural causes as far as the coroner could determine.

But the coroner was also the local postmaster too. Which bothers me.
2012-11-05 05:45:17 PM  
5 mins. I work in a surgery clinic & my office space is right in the middle. On days with surgery, everyone is in the OR but still maybe 10 mins those days.
2012-11-05 06:05:15 PM  
People who like to repeat that "insignificant peon died at his desk and no one noticed for a week" are really ignorant about death. Just like they said in South Park, when you die, you shiat your pants because your muscles don't work anymore. People would notice the shiat smell pretty quickly. Also, anyone who's ever smelled necrotic tissue can tell you death doesn't smell pretty and the stench is pretty overpowering. Unless you were working really late, people would find your body pretty quickly by following the smell.
2012-11-05 06:09:33 PM  

Sass-O-Rev: My office is at the back of my home, so any time between five minutes, if someone showed up on my doorstep and looked in the window, and a couple of days, if my car was there and I hadn't been answering phone calls.

Yeah, I'm full time WFH too. Provided my wife didn't call the office, I figure it would take my coworkers at least a few days to get someone around to check on me.
2012-11-05 06:25:13 PM  
Sounds like Subby might be scrambling a little bit.Everything okay at work today?
2012-11-05 06:31:41 PM  
I work from home. My co-workers probably wouldn't notice until clients started calling them because they can't get in touch with me.

If nothing serious is going on, I guess it could be a couple days. If my one nutjob client can't sync her iphone, then they'd probably discover me in 40 minutes.
2012-11-05 07:06:00 PM  
About a week. I work from home mostly and have a Friday 11 am developer / admin / project conference call.

Various people get a little rattled when anyone misses one of those without prior notice.

Now if I had said I was going to be miss a particular conference call, then at least 2 weeks (unless something broke, a question needed to be answered, or some other such nonsense).

I try to build things that don't break too often, so yeah two weeks tops.

/ used to be a month
2012-11-05 07:18:27 PM  
I work in an office, but I have an office-mate and the door is almost always open. Worst case, if my office-mate spent most of the day in the lab, it might take 8 hours. More likely, it would take less than an hour.
2012-11-05 08:19:30 PM  
I work video systems for corporate events, so they would notice quickly. Probably would stuff me in a road case and tell the client I had an emergency and had to go.
2012-11-05 09:13:58 PM  
It depends on my teaching schedule. If I don't have any classes and no one else feels like coming in to our office, it might be as much as a week. I've gone as much as five days without speaking to anyone despite being in my office during normal working hours.
2012-11-06 12:35:45 AM  
I work from home and live alone. The cats would probably start eating me for food before anyone figured it out.
2012-11-06 12:41:40 AM  
No time at all. If I had a desk job, I'd shoot myself.
2012-11-06 01:07:39 AM  
Not long, cuz I'm taking some of 'em with me.
2012-11-06 01:22:02 AM  
Dave was a real prick, worked at the phone co.. Dave was having a heart attack and was helpless on the floor when a technician walked in, saw him and left. A secretary wound up finding Dave and calling an ambulance.

When Dave came back to work he tried to get the technician fired. No go. There was nothing in the employee handbook or union book stating you had to call an ambulance for someone who was circling the drain. Like i said, Dave was a prick.
2012-11-06 06:22:10 AM  
Hell, I died at work years ago and it just doesn't matter.
Displayed 50 of 53 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.