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(MSNBC)   A former welfare mother tells her story, and it sounds nothing like the GOP's Cliff Notes on 'Welfare Queens 101'   (today.msnbc.msn.com) divider line 119
    More: Interesting, GOP, Clark University, welfare mother, primary care doctors, Prince Charming, subsidized housing, Technical College, welfare  
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3425 clicks; posted to Politics » on 05 Nov 2012 at 12:01 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-05 03:28:21 PM

AbbeySomeone: goatleggedfellow: So this all started when her husband walked away from his obligations and left her neglected and destitute.

Nice microcosm of conservative culture in this country. The winners can never win enough and the losers can never lose enough.

This. men are never blamed for any of thses stories.



Correction: WHITE men are never blamed for these stories. Black men are blamed all of the time for ALL of societies problems. If we'd only marry our baby-mama's everyone would have a unicorn. For some reason the white guy who marries, divorces, and neglects the mother of his children is superior to the black guy who never married his kids mom.
 
2012-11-05 03:35:46 PM

DROxINxTHExWIND: For some reason the white guy who marries, divorces, and neglects the mother of his children is superior to the black guy who never married his kids mom.


nah, if you don't support your kids and actively participate in their lives regardless of whether you are still with their mom you're a scumbag, white or black.
 
2012-11-05 03:36:38 PM

DROxINxTHExWIND: AbbeySomeone: goatleggedfellow: So this all started when her husband walked away from his obligations and left her neglected and destitute.

Nice microcosm of conservative culture in this country. The winners can never win enough and the losers can never lose enough.

This. men are never blamed for any of thses stories.


Correction: WHITE men are never blamed for these stories. Black men are blamed all of the time for ALL of societies problems. If we'd only marry our baby-mama's everyone would have a unicorn. For some reason the white guy who marries, divorces, and neglects the mother of his children is superior to the black guy who never married his kids mom.


They even get elected to congress
i.huffpost.com 

"Hey what's going on in here guys?"
 
2012-11-05 03:45:12 PM

ginandbacon: Her story sounds a lot like my mother's. Divorced in the '70s. No childcare options. No child support. An ex who was threatening to sue for custody if she went after him.

We would never have survived if it weren't for benefits.

And that was also in Massachusetts, one of the most generous states in the Union. I honestly have no idea how people today are managing. The cuts have been brutal.

The average recipient of "welfare" is a woman in her early 30s with 2 kids and a decade of work experience. It's just shameful that we demonize these women and punish their children.


Her story is similar to my mothers also. 4 kids with me the oldest. My dad split when I was 10. My father then proceeded to only work under-the-table jobs so he could skip out on child support. I don't think she received a single check until I was in my mid 20's.

She worked a minimum wage job for the maximum hours she could w/o hurting her welfare benefits. Washington used to also pay for childcare (this was the mid/late 80's). One of her stay-at-home mom friends used to watch the younger kids. Once all the kids were in school she went back into banking as a teller and manages her own branch today.
 
2012-11-05 03:45:29 PM

skullkrusher: DROxINxTHExWIND: For some reason the white guy who marries, divorces, and neglects the mother of his children is superior to the black guy who never married his kids mom.

nah, if you don't support your kids and actively participate in their lives regardless of whether you are still with their mom you're a scumbag, white or black.


Support is normally not added into the equation in these discussions. No one really cares if the kids are being helped by the father when they pass these judgements. Unmarried black parents are the boogeyman. Their kids ALWAYS turn out to be criminals. If the parents do not live together that means that the kids NEVER see their father. But, no one counts the number of divorced couples who have one parent that is uninvolved in the upbringing of the children. No one mentions the number of divorced welfare recipients.
 
2012-11-05 04:00:24 PM

DROxINxTHExWIND: skullkrusher: DROxINxTHExWIND: For some reason the white guy who marries, divorces, and neglects the mother of his children is superior to the black guy who never married his kids mom.

nah, if you don't support your kids and actively participate in their lives regardless of whether you are still with their mom you're a scumbag, white or black.

Support is normally not added into the equation in these discussions. No one really cares if the kids are being helped by the father when they pass these judgements. Unmarried black parents are the boogeyman. Their kids ALWAYS turn out to be criminals. If the parents do not live together that means that the kids NEVER see their father. But, no one counts the number of divorced couples who have one parent that is uninvolved in the upbringing of the children. No one mentions the number of divorced welfare recipients.


I thought the bogeyman was the black guy who had kids with 3 women and doesn't support them?
 
2012-11-05 04:31:08 PM

ManateeGag: vpb: ManateeGag: contrary to their beliefs, not everyone on welfare wants to stay on it forever.

Does anyone? It doesn't sound like a high standard of living.

My cousin is one of those few who want to have a job only long enough to be able to qualify for unemployment. he's always looking for the easy way to do things. he's quite the embarrassment to the family and if his father wouldn't put up with that shiat if he were alive.


People who are willing to do more work to not work always exist. The question is between a system that denies some who would rather they didn't need help alongside those moochers and a system that has a few freeloaders but helps a lot of people.
 
2012-11-05 04:35:41 PM

No Such Agency: Once a friend posted on their Facebook wall about my book, and somebody said, "You and your children should have just died instead of take money from the government."

Just a troll, thankfully. You see, genuine welfare abolitionists are THINKING that, but they generally don't actually SAY it.

How welfare changed me
Those four years on welfare made me a better person. ... Today I budget very precisely, even with my six-figure income. All those years I would walk through a department store and know I couldn't afford to buy anything. I've never quite lost that. I have a mindset of, "I could buy that, but eh, it's not that important to me."

And here we see the difference between over-privileged middle-class idiots who run themselves into horrible consumer debt because they just "deserve" a certain material lifestyle, and someone who has stared privation in the face and survived.

Sadly she is one of the lucky ones: she got a few breaks like her parents agreeing to help her again (and just coming from a family that valued education and career). Without that luck, it's almost impossible for someone to pull themselves out of poverty, because simply surviving takes every moment, dollar and calorie of their life.


Her parents were f**king assholes. That woman was pregnant with a 1-year-old baby, her ex was threatening to take the baby, and what do they say? "WE didn't approve, so TWO CHILDREN CAN SUFFER! HA! TAKE THAT!".

I'd like to think they recanted because a little talking cricket gave them a good hard bite.
 
2012-11-05 04:39:56 PM

PsiChick: That woman was pregnant with a 1-year-old baby


well that's the problem. She's an elephant. Elephants can't find good work these days
 
2012-11-05 04:42:18 PM

PsiChick: No Such Agency: Once a friend posted on their Facebook wall about my book, and somebody said, "You and your children should have just died instead of take money from the government."

Just a troll, thankfully. You see, genuine welfare abolitionists are THINKING that, but they generally don't actually SAY it.

How welfare changed me
Those four years on welfare made me a better person. ... Today I budget very precisely, even with my six-figure income. All those years I would walk through a department store and know I couldn't afford to buy anything. I've never quite lost that. I have a mindset of, "I could buy that, but eh, it's not that important to me."

And here we see the difference between over-privileged middle-class idiots who run themselves into horrible consumer debt because they just "deserve" a certain material lifestyle, and someone who has stared privation in the face and survived.

Sadly she is one of the lucky ones: she got a few breaks like her parents agreeing to help her again (and just coming from a family that valued education and career). Without that luck, it's almost impossible for someone to pull themselves out of poverty, because simply surviving takes every moment, dollar and calorie of their life.

Her parents were f**king assholes. That woman was pregnant with a 1-year-old baby, her ex was threatening to take the baby, and what do they say? "WE didn't approve, so TWO CHILDREN CAN SUFFER! HA! TAKE THAT!".

I'd like to think they recanted because a little talking cricket gave them a good hard bite.


I bet that was a tough labor.  I hope she had a c section, because if she didn't her coochie was ruined for all others.
 
2012-11-05 04:43:16 PM
My parents divorced in the 70s and there were no laws that required payment of child support across state lines. Because Dad stayed in MS and Mom took us kids to Illinois to live in her parents laundry room (it was temporary shelter), she had no way to force him to pay child support and alimony (which the divorce papers said was $300 a month total, a huge sum in the 70s). She was afraid try for for welfare or food stamps because in that small town, it was already scandalous enough that a nice girl from a good family had gotten divorced. Life was damn tough financially, and I'm really surprised we all made it.

After I turned 18 and joined the Army, laws had changed regarding state lines and child support. Mom sued Dad for back-owed child support and won. The court didn't give her my share because I was already an adult, but they did award her $30,000 for my brother. And somehow, Dad never got in any trouble for not paying that either.

tl:dr: The number one cause of moms on welfare is deadbeat dads.
 
2012-11-05 04:50:47 PM

WordyGrrl: The number one cause of moms on welfare is deadbeat dads.


87% of all child/family support owed.
 
2012-11-05 04:53:40 PM

skullkrusher: PsiChick: That woman was pregnant with a 1-year-old baby

well that's the problem. She's an elephant. Elephants can't find good work these days


ongbok: PsiChick: No Such Agency: Once a friend posted on their Facebook wall about my book, and somebody said, "You and your children should have just died instead of take money from the government."

Just a troll, thankfully. You see, genuine welfare abolitionists are THINKING that, but they generally don't actually SAY it.

How welfare changed me
Those four years on welfare made me a better person. ... Today I budget very precisely, even with my six-figure income. All those years I would walk through a department store and know I couldn't afford to buy anything. I've never quite lost that. I have a mindset of, "I could buy that, but eh, it's not that important to me."

And here we see the difference between over-privileged middle-class idiots who run themselves into horrible consumer debt because they just "deserve" a certain material lifestyle, and someone who has stared privation in the face and survived.

Sadly she is one of the lucky ones: she got a few breaks like her parents agreeing to help her again (and just coming from a family that valued education and career). Without that luck, it's almost impossible for someone to pull themselves out of poverty, because simply surviving takes every moment, dollar and calorie of their life.

Her parents were f**king assholes. That woman was pregnant with a 1-year-old baby, her ex was threatening to take the baby, and what do they say? "WE didn't approve, so TWO CHILDREN CAN SUFFER! HA! TAKE THAT!".

I'd like to think they recanted because a little talking cricket gave them a good hard bite.

I bet that was a tough labor.  I hope she had a c section, because if she didn't her coochie was ruined for all others.


...And this, kids, is why we hit the 'preview' button. Also, why commas are important.
 
2012-11-05 04:54:14 PM

PsiChick: ...And this, kids, is why we hit the 'preview' button. Also, why commas are important.


heehee
 
2012-11-05 04:58:21 PM

PsiChick: skullkrusher: PsiChick: That woman was pregnant with a 1-year-old baby

well that's the problem. She's an elephant. Elephants can't find good work these days

ongbok: PsiChick: No Such Agency: Once a friend posted on their Facebook wall about my book, and somebody said, "You and your children should have just died instead of take money from the government."

Just a troll, thankfully. You see, genuine welfare abolitionists are THINKING that, but they generally don't actually SAY it.

How welfare changed me
Those four years on welfare made me a better person. ... Today I budget very precisely, even with my six-figure income. All those years I would walk through a department store and know I couldn't afford to buy anything. I've never quite lost that. I have a mindset of, "I could buy that, but eh, it's not that important to me."

And here we see the difference between over-privileged middle-class idiots who run themselves into horrible consumer debt because they just "deserve" a certain material lifestyle, and someone who has stared privation in the face and survived.

Sadly she is one of the lucky ones: she got a few breaks like her parents agreeing to help her again (and just coming from a family that valued education and career). Without that luck, it's almost impossible for someone to pull themselves out of poverty, because simply surviving takes every moment, dollar and calorie of their life.

Her parents were f**king assholes. That woman was pregnant with a 1-year-old baby, her ex was threatening to take the baby, and what do they say? "WE didn't approve, so TWO CHILDREN CAN SUFFER! HA! TAKE THAT!".

I'd like to think they recanted because a little talking cricket gave them a good hard bite.

I bet that was a tough labor.  I hope she had a c section, because if she didn't her coochie was ruined for all others.

...And this, kids, is why we hit the 'preview' button. Also, why commas are important.


The kid could have come out and walked across the delivery room to his incubator.

That would have been a sight.
 
2012-11-05 05:06:59 PM

ongbok: The kid could have come out and walked across the delivery room to his incubator.

That would have been a sight.


Yes indeedy. Probably a great Youtube video, too, if they had Youtube back then.
 
2012-11-05 05:36:43 PM

ongbok: PsiChick: skullkrusher: PsiChick: That woman was pregnant with a 1-year-old baby

well that's the problem. She's an elephant. Elephants can't find good work these days

ongbok: PsiChick: No Such Agency: Once a friend posted on their Facebook wall about my book, and somebody said, "You and your children should have just died instead of take money from the government."

Just a troll, thankfully. You see, genuine welfare abolitionists are THINKING that, but they generally don't actually SAY it.

How welfare changed me
Those four years on welfare made me a better person. ... Today I budget very precisely, even with my six-figure income. All those years I would walk through a department store and know I couldn't afford to buy anything. I've never quite lost that. I have a mindset of, "I could buy that, but eh, it's not that important to me."

And here we see the difference between over-privileged middle-class idiots who run themselves into horrible consumer debt because they just "deserve" a certain material lifestyle, and someone who has stared privation in the face and survived.

Sadly she is one of the lucky ones: she got a few breaks like her parents agreeing to help her again (and just coming from a family that valued education and career). Without that luck, it's almost impossible for someone to pull themselves out of poverty, because simply surviving takes every moment, dollar and calorie of their life.

Her parents were f**king assholes. That woman was pregnant with a 1-year-old baby, her ex was threatening to take the baby, and what do they say? "WE didn't approve, so TWO CHILDREN CAN SUFFER! HA! TAKE THAT!".

I'd like to think they recanted because a little talking cricket gave them a good hard bite.

I bet that was a tough labor.  I hope she had a c section, because if she didn't her coochie was ruined for all others.

...And this, kids, is why we hit the 'preview' button. Also, why commas are important.

The kid could have come out and walked across the d ...


I think that kid starred in the home video of BO's Kenyan birth
 
2012-11-05 06:43:15 PM

skullkrusher: I think that kid starred in the home video of BO's Kenyan birth


That was for real. The #1 cause of women being on welfare is them having one-year-old babies, just like this woman. It just takes so long to recover from.

You know what would be really cool? If we could re-absorb our pregnancies when times were hard, like some animals do. I'm sure some of the GOP would have a problem with this.

"But you had sex! You can't just take that embryo that has been blessed by Gawd and---you stop that right now! Murderer! Murderer!"
 
2012-11-06 03:49:33 AM

Koalaesq: Divorce is one of the biggest causes of women and children going on welfare. The lengths that some men (and yes, sometimes women) will go to to stop their CHILDREN from getting a dime is honestly beyond me. I've seen people go from staunchly middle class to welfare in a heartbeat if their ex starts playing around with child support and alimony, and there's only so much the legal system can do if the debtor/earner is self-employed or not employed at all.

Sure, there are some moochers out there, but in my experience, the vast majority want to get OFF welfare, and just don't have the means or ability to do so.


My dad provided the court with a large grocery receipt that he claimed was for food for us in lieu of alimony. They believed him. Afterwards he bragged to my mum about how he picked that receipt up off the floor of the supermarket.

The evil son of a biatch paid what he was meant to no more than 2 or 3 times over all the years we were suffering in poverty.
 
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