If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Columbus Dispatch)   Vandals admit muffin-crystal-thingie assault on Serpent Mound historical site was designed to lift the vibration of the planet   (dispatch.com) divider line 86
    More: Weird, Serpent Mound, Adams County, National Register of Historic Places, systems design, Taj Mahal, planets, Infraction  
•       •       •

7864 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Nov 2012 at 10:41 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



86 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-11-04 05:11:27 AM  
Idiots.
 
2012-11-04 07:04:58 AM  
A group of "light warriors" buried what may be hundreds of small muffinlike resin objects, embedded with aluminum foil and quartz crystals, at Serpent Mound with the intent of realigning the energy of the ancient Native American site in Peebles.

Bad move, dudes. That will just re-focus the negative energy, until it's powerful enough to penetrate even our triple-foil thickness hats.
 
2012-11-04 09:50:47 AM  
Wow, it's not even friggin 7AM and I'm already pissed, PISSED after reading this. I just....I need coffee.
 
2012-11-04 10:13:47 AM  

AbbeySomeone: Idiots.


Exactly:

resin objects, embedded with aluminum foil and quartz crystals,


Everyone knows that the aluminum foil will block the Orgone wave energy. This is why we wear it on our heads.
 
2012-11-04 10:22:15 AM  
"lift the vibration of the Earth so we can all rise together."

Couldn't they just have a massive spin cycle sit-in at the local laundromat instead?
 
2012-11-04 10:45:51 AM  
From the comments: "It's very interesting to see a unique feat of astronomy and engineering that a civilization built around the time of Christ."

Yes, it's an amazing feat of...making a huge pile of dirt. Some Roman is sticking his head out of his multi-story stone building with running water, saying, "Oh, what a nice pile of dirt. Very clever indeed."
 
2012-11-04 10:46:04 AM  
Sounds like someone managed to steal the script from the upcoming Conan movie.
 
2012-11-04 10:54:43 AM  
dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com

Somebody say "muffin"?
 
2012-11-04 10:55:06 AM  

AbbeySomeone: Idiots.

 
2012-11-04 10:57:55 AM  
If they don't stop it, I'm going to fence in their chickens and not tell them.
 
2012-11-04 11:02:20 AM  
I've been rewatching the X-Files lately, and this seems like exactly the kind of thing the real whackjobs on that show (so you know, 1995ish) would have done. I was really hoping that the lack of press on new-agers meant maybe that crap was dying down.
 
2012-11-04 11:02:41 AM  
This would be a good test case to see if it is possible to beat the stupid out of people. Rather than being Christians, they've found a rival form of nonsense to believe in that's just as bad, if not worse.
 
2012-11-04 11:03:51 AM  
So the "Light Warriors" did this? Looks like these dudes are going to jail:
www.hardmode.org

Someone should have told them to buy silver swords when they were in the elf village.
 
2012-11-04 11:04:39 AM  
I was up in Ohio for my aunt's funeral last year. I had some down time after the viewing so I visited Serpent Mound. There isn't much to see of course, pretty lame actually, but I enjoyed walking around in the sunshine after being shut up in the musky mortuary all morning. After a bit of walking, I sat against the mound and ate a sub for lunch. I have both Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes, so I fell asleep after I ate.

I'm usually a deep sleeper. I never remember my dreams. If I don't write down something before I fall asleep then it is gone forever. But while I was asleep on the mound, I had the most vivid hallucination - more than a simple dream.

I was completely naked, standing on the mound, with a shadow. The shadow said, "it's prepared." Then a female deer walked atop the mound in front of me. I spread her legs and her vagina began to contract. After several minutes of me stroking her back as her vagina made sucking and belching sounds, a small hairless fawn was born into my hands. The shadow said, "now eat." I thought that I didn't know what to do, but I automatically began pushing the bloodied fawn into my mouth. Inch by inch, I drew the fawn's hind legs into my mouth. Then my jaw unhinged as I cleared the hips. The wet baby deer slid gradually down my throat until the last tip of hoof disappeared. The umbilical cord was still hanging out of my mouth; the other side hung from the deer's sore vagina. I slurped and sucked, inch by inch, devouring not only the cord but also the mother deer. After much complaining and walking along the mound, I lay down in the sun with a fat, distended stomach still moving with the death quivers of the animals.

Then the shadow laid down on top of me. A feeling of great cold, like an arctic death exhale descended over me. I fell asleep in the dream but immediately awoke in the real world.

It was dark and I was covered in dead, wet leaves. I'd been asleep for almost six hours - a death sentence for a double diabetic like me. But somehow, I wasn't at all hungry. I tested my blood sugar back at the car and it was within the range I'd expect had I just eaten a protein rich meal. And the oddest part - I could taste cord blood on the back of my tongue.
 
2012-11-04 11:04:41 AM  
A friend of mine was a cook at a restaurant in northern California where this sort of nonsense was popular. Burned into his memory was the time a new age douche was holding a crystal up to the menu to help him decide what he should order.
 
2012-11-04 11:06:37 AM  
It's called serpentine dream theory. And they were just trying to fix it.

See, the earth is slowing it's rotation by .00000006 mph/day.....
 
2012-11-04 11:08:19 AM  

spentmiles: I was up in Ohio for my aunt's funeral last year. I had some down time after the viewing so I visited Serpent Mound. There isn't much to see of course, pretty lame actually, but I enjoyed walking around in the sunshine after being shut up in the musky mortuary all morning. After a bit of walking, I sat against the mound and ate a sub for lunch. I have both Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes, so I fell asleep after I ate.

I'm usually a deep sleeper. I never remember my dreams. If I don't write down something before I fall asleep then it is gone forever. But while I was asleep on the mound, I had the most vivid hallucination - more than a simple dream.

I was completely naked, standing on the mound, with a shadow. The shadow said, "it's prepared." Then a female deer walked atop the mound in front of me. I spread her legs and her vagina began to contract. After several minutes of me stroking her back as her vagina made sucking and belching sounds, a small hairless fawn was born into my hands. The shadow said, "now eat." I thought that I didn't know what to do, but I automatically began pushing the bloodied fawn into my mouth. Inch by inch, I drew the fawn's hind legs into my mouth. Then my jaw unhinged as I cleared the hips. The wet baby deer slid gradually down my throat until the last tip of hoof disappeared. The umbilical cord was still hanging out of my mouth; the other side hung from the deer's sore vagina. I slurped and sucked, inch by inch, devouring not only the cord but also the mother deer. After much complaining and walking along the mound, I lay down in the sun with a fat, distended stomach still moving with the death quivers of the animals.

Then the shadow laid down on top of me. A feeling of great cold, like an arctic death exhale descended over me. I fell asleep in the dream but immediately awoke in the real world.

It was dark and I was covered in dead, wet leaves. I'd been asleep for almost six hours - a death sentence for a double diab ...


i18.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-04 11:08:39 AM  
Vandals admit muffin-crystal-thingie assault on Serpent Mound historical site was designed to lift the vibration of the planet.

And what did the Goths, Visigoths and Saxons have to say?
 
2012-11-04 11:09:46 AM  
I think it's disgraceful that some weirdos with made up spirituality that no one follows or believes in would desecrate an effigy to a much older spirituality that no one follows or believes in. That mound of dirt is just totally ruined now.
 
2012-11-04 11:11:26 AM  
Way to fark with future archaeologists!
 
2012-11-04 11:11:52 AM  

raerae1980: Wow, it's not even friggin 7AM and I'm already pissed, PISSED after reading this. I just....I need coffee.


Maybe you should thank them for saving the planet, ingrate......
 
2012-11-04 11:12:12 AM  
What a coincidence. Serpent Mound is the nickname for my wife's vagina.
 
2012-11-04 11:13:36 AM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Yes, it's an amazing feat of...making a huge pile of dirt. Some Roman is sticking his head out of his multi-story stone building with running water, saying, "Oh, what a nice pile of dirt. Very clever indeed."


So true.
 
2012-11-04 11:13:44 AM  
Holy wow, these people are farking NUTS: http://www.orgonite.info/
 
2012-11-04 11:14:26 AM  
When I hear about an archaeological site that's wrecked by looters, it saddens me, but I understand. Most of the looters are living in third world shiatholes and they do what they have to do to survive. This shiat though, vandalizing an irreplaceable historic site purely because you're a farking moron... I'm sure the local Indian tribes were thrilled when they heard about this, just put these morons in their care so they can "reward" them in whatever way they like.
 
2012-11-04 11:17:48 AM  
What, none of you want your planetary vibrations lifted? Ingrates.
 
2012-11-04 11:18:05 AM  

spentmiles: And the oddest part - I could taste cord blood on the back of my tongue.


Not so odd, really.
What is odd though is that for someone who writes well you've decided this time to plagiarize the peopleofwalmart blog.
 
2012-11-04 11:18:28 AM  
Is it wrong to hope that the "light warriors" are made to eat their own muffin things?
 
2012-11-04 11:21:45 AM  
www.antonybennison.com
 
2012-11-04 11:26:27 AM  
Scumbags. If they painted swastikas on a synagogue, blew up a church, or threw pig blood into a mosque, they would rightly be prosecuted for hate crimes. But because it's "just Indians" whose site they are desecrating, they won't.
 
2012-11-04 11:30:34 AM  
i1182.photobucket.com

Those aren't muffins...
 
2012-11-04 11:42:19 AM  
scifun.files.wordpress.com

Also wants to raise the level of consciousness of the planet.
 
2012-11-04 11:45:16 AM  
but it's okay to turn it into a golf course instead.

Link
 
2012-11-04 11:46:34 AM  

GilRuiz1: What, none of you want your planetary vibrations lifted? Ingrates.


They don't know the powers they are messing with. If the earth has an orgasm the earthquakes will be devastating.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-11-04 11:47:37 AM  
The word "thingie" does not appear in the Chicago Manual of Style.
 
2012-11-04 11:54:02 AM  

FloydA: Scumbags. If they painted swastikas on a synagogue, blew up a church, or threw pig blood into a mosque, they would rightly be prosecuted for hate crimes. But because it's "just Indians" whose site they are desecrating, they won't.


Hate crimes are acts of terrorism.

What these idiots did is serious but they didn't do it to "punish" the local Indian population for existing.
 
2012-11-04 11:55:34 AM  

FloydA: Scumbags. If they painted swastikas on a synagogue, blew up a church, or threw pig blood into a mosque, they would rightly be prosecuted for hate crimes. But because it's "just Indians" whose site they are desecrating, they won't.


I think in this case, intent is a factor. There's a difference between, say, smearing bacon on the local imam because you know they hate that, or innocently offering the local imam a BLT because you're geniunely ignorant and don't know any better.

I'm guessing the quiet burying of inobvious little plastic newage gadgets (that apparently nobody would have even noticed had it not been for an idiotic Youtube video) is quite a bit less damaging and malicious than "painting swastikas on a synagogue", unless the newage involves some sort of "ha ha, our magic plastic crystal muffins will devour the souls of the native ancestors" or something equally bizarre.

To me, this is more a rare case of people who honestly probably should to be taken into custody for psychiatric evaluation for the crime of littering...
 
2012-11-04 11:56:58 AM  

AbbeySomeone: Idiots.


This, this, this, this and also this.

/went there a few years ago - smaller than I thought it'd be, but still an iconic sight
 
2012-11-04 12:01:06 PM  
www.loveoftheearth.com

msnbcmedia3.msn.com

Why are nerds and new age flim flams always making poo out of my good name?

Historical Note - Dr. Wilhelm Reich died on November 3rd, 1957 in a U.S. Federal penitentiary where he had been sentenced for two years on a charge of violating interstate commerce laws connected to the transport of an invention Dr. Reich called Orgone Energy Accumulators. The year before his death, the Federal Food and Drug Administration had destroyed Dr. Reich's accumulators at his Rangeley, Maine lab on June 5th and July 23rd, 1956. The FDA also burned his scientific literature and books.

Burned his notes, literature and books. Your FDA ... conducted a book burning.

Regardless of the muffin heads at Serpent's Mound, anytime the government does something like this I am certain there is great value in what they burned.
 
2012-11-04 12:06:08 PM  
MusicMakeMyHeadPound:

Epicanis:


You're both correct, of course. It's just that the deliberate, willful disturbance/destruction of an archaeological site is one of the few things that truly enrages me. I really wish the penalties for it were much more harsh.
 
2012-11-04 12:08:03 PM  

Clemkadidlefark: [www.loveoftheearth.com image 320x225]

[msnbcmedia3.msn.com image 474x316]

Why are nerds and new age flim flams always making poo out of my good name?

Historical Note - Dr. Wilhelm Reich died on November 3rd, 1957 in a U.S. Federal penitentiary where he had been sentenced for two years on a charge of violating interstate commerce laws connected to the transport of an invention Dr. Reich called Orgone Energy Accumulators. The year before his death, the Federal Food and Drug Administration had destroyed Dr. Reich's accumulators at his Rangeley, Maine lab on June 5th and July 23rd, 1956. The FDA also burned his scientific literature and books.

Burned his notes, literature and books. Your FDA ... conducted a book burning.

Regardless of the muffin heads at Serpent's Mound, anytime the government does something like this I am certain there is great value in what they burned.


Now tell us about the carburetor that gets 100 MPG that the big oil companies destroyed.
 
2012-11-04 12:08:58 PM  

Clemkadidlefark: Burned his notes, literature and books. Your FDA ... conducted a book burning.

Regardless of the muffin heads at Serpent's Mound, anytime the government does something like this I am certain there is great value in what they burned.


Maybe they "burned" his materials in the trash incinerator...
 
2012-11-04 12:10:37 PM  

ladyfortuna: I've been rewatching the X-Files lately, and this seems like exactly the kind of thing the real whackjobs on that show (so you know, 1995ish) would have done. I was really hoping that the lack of press on new-agers meant maybe that crap was dying down.


Alas, no. If anything, it's gotten worse thanks to the internet and Oprah. If Oprah did a show about how organites are all you need to bring your life in tune with the universe and make all your wishes come true, everyone would be snapping them up. Oh wait, she already did that, but it was a book called The Secret.

Boy I wish I didn't have scruples so that I could make a shiat-ton of money off of these fools.
 
2012-11-04 12:12:47 PM  

Cathedralmaster: So the "Light Warriors" did this? Looks like these dudes are going to jail:


Someone should have told them to buy silver swords when they were in the elf village.


Nostalgia kicked into h
 
2012-11-04 12:14:52 PM  

Clemkadidlefark: anytime the government does something like this I am certain there is great value in what they burned.


upload.wikimedia.org

The government also confiscates snake oil. By equivalence then according to you -there great value in that?
 
2012-11-04 12:18:42 PM  
...with the intent of realigning the energy of the ancient Native American site in Peebles.

celebslists.com

Not impressed.
 
2012-11-04 12:25:00 PM  
If any actual Native American was involved in this, I will eat my hat. I don't own a hat right now, so I will make one out of fruit roll ups, but I'll still eat it. I'm just picturing one of these orgone doodads embedded in someone's forehead after having been flung by a lawnmower blade or something. Yeesh.
 
2012-11-04 12:30:40 PM  

raerae1980: Wow, it's not even friggin 7AM and I'm already pissed, PISSED after reading this. I just....I need coffee.


Why? Its just a pile of dirt and nothing was changed or harmed.
 
2012-11-04 12:37:26 PM  

FloydA: Scumbags. If they painted swastikas on a synagogue, blew up a church, or threw pig blood into a mosque, they would rightly be prosecuted for hate crimes. But because it's "just Indians" whose site they are desecrating, they won't.


Its a pile of dirt. No one was harmed. Save your righteous outrage for the next oil spill chief.
 
2012-11-04 12:42:46 PM  
profile.ak.fbcdn.net
 
2012-11-04 12:50:59 PM  
d.yimg.com
 
2012-11-04 12:51:49 PM  

the lord god: raerae1980: Wow, it's not even friggin 7AM and I'm already pissed, PISSED after reading this. I just....I need coffee.

Why? Its just a pile of dirt and nothing was changed or harmed.


Are you an archaeologist? How the fark do you know that? Personally, stuff like this makes me want to head down to Haight St. and knock the first hippie I see unconscious. They did, after all, originate the sort of ignorant nonsense under discussion, even if they are no longer the sole practitioners.
 
2012-11-04 12:53:17 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: AbbeySomeone: Idiots.

Exactly:

resin objects, embedded with aluminum foil and quartz crystals,


Everyone knows that the aluminum foil will block the Orgone wave energy. This is why we wear it on our heads.



Heads???

I had the junk wrapped up, trying to funnel the Orgone wave energy into a tight lazer beam.

/the beam that could never be crossed......
 
2012-11-04 12:56:06 PM  

Clemkadidlefark: The year before his death, the Federal Food and Drug Administration had destroyed Dr. Reich's accumulators at his Rangeley, Maine lab on June 5th and July 23rd, 1956. The FDA also burned his scientific literature and books.


img.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-04 01:00:24 PM  
Goddamn hypocritical New Age wackos. This is one of the most significant archeological sites on the entire continent. If they tried this shiat at Chichen Itza or Machu Pichu, you can bet the Mexicans and Peruvians would go pre-Columbian on their asses.
 
2012-11-04 01:28:44 PM  

forgotmydamnusername: the lord god: raerae1980: Wow, it's not even friggin 7AM and I'm already pissed, PISSED after reading this. I just....I need coffee.

Why? Its just a pile of dirt and nothing was changed or harmed.

Are you an archaeologist?


As a matter of fact.......yes.
 
2012-11-04 01:29:13 PM  
This is the perfect illustration of the Power Crystal trope.

/I have now just wasted your day.
 
2012-11-04 01:30:12 PM  

FloydA: Scumbags. If they painted swastikas on a synagogue, blew up a church, or threw pig blood into a mosque, they would rightly be prosecuted for hate crimes. But because it's "just Indians" whose site they are desecrating, they won't.


I don't think these losers had hate in their hearts. Just bad chemicals in their brains.
 
2012-11-04 01:33:06 PM  

ZAZ: The word "thingie" does not appear in the Chicago Manual of Style.


That's for magazines, not newsspapers. Newspapers use the AP Stylebook. Also, it's not a farkin' dictionary, it's a guide to style. You won't find most words in it.

/Yes, I ealize you were joking.
 
2012-11-04 01:33:35 PM  

ruta: Boy I wish I didn't have scruples so that I could make a shiat-ton of money off of these fools.


Fark yes. I was working at a bookstore at the tender young age of 18, and I was absolutely gobsmacked by what went on in the New Age Section. I figured I just need to come up with a catchy bit of woo-woo and some easily-made retail items and I'd be made in the shade. Sadly, I have too many scruples for those shenanigans.
 
2012-11-04 01:38:28 PM  

theorellior: ruta: Boy I wish I didn't have scruples so that I could make a shiat-ton of money off of these fools.

Fark yes. I was working at a bookstore at the tender young age of 18, and I was absolutely gobsmacked by what went on in the New Age Section. I figured I just need to come up with a catchy bit of woo-woo and some easily-made retail items and I'd be made in the shade. Sadly, I have too many scruples for those shenanigans.


Liar you just have a lack of talent.
 
2012-11-04 01:40:25 PM  

ruta: ladyfortuna: I've been rewatching the X-Files lately, and this seems like exactly the kind of thing the real whackjobs on that show (so you know, 1995ish) would have done. I was really hoping that the lack of press on new-agers meant maybe that crap was dying down.

Alas, no. If anything, it's gotten worse thanks to the internet and Oprah. If Oprah did a show about how organites are all you need to bring your life in tune with the universe and make all your wishes come true, everyone would be snapping them up. Oh wait, she already did that, but it was a book called The Secret.

Boy I wish I didn't have scruples so that I could make a shiat-ton of money off of these fools.


If I could "earn" what Rush Limbaugh "earns" by spewing his hateful, dishonest gibberish, I'd do it. For one year.Then I'd end my show by telling all my dildohead followers, for three straight hours, that they are the stupidest, most gullible form of human garbage and they should be ashamed of themselves, and they need to seek psychiatric help.

Then I'd donate most of the money to a worthy cause. I'd keep some of it, 'cause I gotta eat, too.

Just not as much as Limbaugh eats.
 
2012-11-04 01:43:16 PM  

FrancoFile: Goddamn hypocritical New Age wackos. This is one of the most significant archeological sites on the entire continent. If they tried this shiat at Chichen Itza or Machu Pichu, you can bet the Mexicans and Peruvians would go pre-Columbian on their asses.


Modern Columbian would be sufficient.

Link
 
2012-11-04 01:44:38 PM  

the lord god: forgotmydamnusername: the lord god: raerae1980: Wow, it's not even friggin 7AM and I'm already pissed, PISSED after reading this. I just....I need coffee.

Why? Its just a pile of dirt and nothing was changed or harmed.

Are you an archaeologist?

As a matter of fact.......yes.



If that was actually true, you would know that Serpent Mound is not "just a pile of dirt."
 
2012-11-04 01:48:47 PM  

Calm: I think it's disgraceful that some weirdos with made up spirituality that no one follows or believes in would desecrate an effigy to a much older spirituality that no one follows or believes in. That mound of dirt is just totally ruined now.


Yeah...just a mound of dirt....or a bunch of rocks.

www.teluglobe.com
 
2012-11-04 01:50:58 PM  

the lord god: forgotmydamnusername: the lord god: raerae1980: Wow, it's not even friggin 7AM and I'm already pissed, PISSED after reading this. I just....I need coffee.

Why? Its just a pile of dirt and nothing was changed or harmed.

Are you an archaeologist?

As a matter of fact.......yes.


Sweeping up dessicated dog turds in your living room does not qualify you as an archaeologist.
 
2012-11-04 01:56:32 PM  

ladyfortuna: I've been rewatching the X-Files lately, and this seems like exactly the kind of thing the real whackjobs on that show (so you know, 1995ish) would have done. I was really hoping that the lack of press on new-agers meant maybe that crap was dying down.


We have a huge grave site a couple miles away and there are always people doing new age hippie crap around the solstices.
 
2012-11-04 02:05:02 PM  
I'm pretty sure Ancient Aliens taught me this was some sort of marker for aliens cruising by. I mean they may have come billions of miles to visit us, but don't have GPS...

/comparing this to blowing up statues is dumb. If you hide a doodad under the grass and no one can tell, it obviously didn't do much harm. Stupid, but nowhere equivalent to the destruction of monuments.
 
2012-11-04 02:07:42 PM  

Teknowaffle: ladyfortuna: I've been rewatching the X-Files lately, and this seems like exactly the kind of thing the real whackjobs on that show (so you know, 1995ish) would have done. I was really hoping that the lack of press on new-agers meant maybe that crap was dying down.

We have a huge grave site a couple miles away and there are always people doing new age hippie crap around the solstices.


Those rituals pre-date Christianity. Nothing "new age" about it.
Christianity is just a plagiarized form of older religions.

We all know that though, right?
 
2012-11-04 02:21:44 PM  
There's too much bat-shiat-crazy going on there for just one article.
 
2012-11-04 02:27:43 PM  

spentmiles: I was up in Ohio for my aunt's blah blah blah stomach belch blah blah blah ......



Methinks Quiznos won't be calling you up for any viral marketing campaigns anytime soon.
 
2012-11-04 02:32:18 PM  
The ancient civilizations of this planet knew so more than we do. They built structures like the pyramids and Stonehenge and we're not quite sure how they did it, therefore...ALIENS!

Aliens = The last resort of the ignorant and the mentally challenged.
 
2012-11-04 02:50:26 PM  

offmymeds: The ancient civilizations of this planet knew so more than we do. They built structures like the pyramids and Stonehenge and we're not quite sure how they did it, therefore...ALIENS!

Aliens = The last resort of the ignorant and the mentally challenged.


Not unlike Christian fundies and the GOP, come to think of it...

/I for one welcome our Reptillian Overlords
 
2012-11-04 03:08:49 PM  

newton: Teknowaffle: ladyfortuna: I've been rewatching the X-Files lately, and this seems like exactly the kind of thing the real whackjobs on that show (so you know, 1995ish) would have done. I was really hoping that the lack of press on new-agers meant maybe that crap was dying down.

We have a huge grave site a couple miles away and there are always people doing new age hippie crap around the solstices.

Those rituals pre-date Christianity. Nothing "new age" about it.
Christianity is just a plagiarized form of older religions.

We all know that though, right?


So paganism is the hipster of religions. I was worshiping X before it was cool.
 
2012-11-04 03:24:04 PM  

offmymeds: The ancient civilizations of this planet knew so more than we do. They built structures like the pyramids and Stonehenge and we're not quite sure how they did it, therefore...ALIENS!

Aliens = The last resort of the ignorant and the mentally challenged.


Before people believed in space aliens, it was thought these things were the work of fairies. Probably in a thousand years, people will look back at this time and laugh at us for believing in something as silly as extra-terrestrial intelligence.
 
2012-11-04 03:30:47 PM  

lohphat: Yeah...just a mound of dirt....or a bunch of rocks.


Well, yes. Buddhism does teach impermanence, especially where humans are involved. You can read all about it in, let's see, every Buddhist work ever.

Also the statues were destroyed with explicit disrespect, not daubed with easily removed magic paint by the clueless. Also if you need a large team of people to look for "desecration" the "damage" probably wasn't too bad. Also scare quotes are lame, sorry about that. Also I just can't respect an effigy that appears to need constant mowing.
 
2012-11-04 03:38:33 PM  

Calm: lohphat: Yeah...just a mound of dirt....or a bunch of rocks.

Well, yes. Buddhism does teach impermanence, especially where humans are involved. You can read all about it in, let's see, every Buddhist work ever.

Also the statues were destroyed with explicit disrespect, not daubed with easily removed magic paint by the clueless. Also if you need a large team of people to look for "desecration" the "damage" probably wasn't too bad. Also scare quotes are lame, sorry about that. Also I just can't respect an effigy that appears to need constant mowing.


These artifacts are few in number and are important markers of our collective history. To easily part with them is intellectual bankruptcy.
 
2012-11-04 03:48:51 PM  

spentmiles: I was up in Ohio for my aunt's funeral last year. I had some down time after the viewing so I visited Serpent Mound. There isn't much to see of course, pretty lame actually, but I enjoyed walking around in the sunshine after being shut up in the musky mortuary all morning. After a bit of walking, I sat against the mound and ate a sub for lunch. I have both Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes, so I fell asleep after I ate.

I'm usually a deep sleeper. I never remember my dreams. If I don't write down something before I fall asleep then it is gone forever. But while I was asleep on the mound, I had the most vivid hallucination - more than a simple dream.

I was completely naked, standing on the mound, with a shadow. The shadow said, "it's prepared." Then a female deer walked atop the mound in front of me. I spread her legs and her vagina began to contract. After several minutes of me stroking her back as her vagina made sucking and belching sounds, a small hairless fawn was born into my hands. The shadow said, "now eat." I thought that I didn't know what to do, but I automatically began pushing the bloodied fawn into my mouth. Inch by inch, I drew the fawn's hind legs into my mouth. Then my jaw unhinged as I cleared the hips. The wet baby deer slid gradually down my throat until the last tip of hoof disappeared. The umbilical cord was still hanging out of my mouth; the other side hung from the deer's sore vagina. I slurped and sucked, inch by inch, devouring not only the cord but also the mother deer. After much complaining and walking along the mound, I lay down in the sun with a fat, distended stomach still moving with the death quivers of the animals.

Then the shadow laid down on top of me. A feeling of great cold, like an arctic death exhale descended over me. I fell asleep in the dream but immediately awoke in the real world.

It was dark and I was covered in dead, wet leaves. I'd been asleep for almost six hours - a death sentence for a double diab ...


I love you.

*bows to the Master.
 
2012-11-04 04:25:08 PM  

lohphat: These artifacts are few in number and are important markers of our collective history. To easily part with them is intellectual bankruptcy.



I think phrases like 'our collective history' attempt to impart an awful lot of nobility to what was in fact a pretty brutal life for the people of most of those times. There are many lessons to be had from the past, but if you find it inherently enriching because it's old you're almost offensively crazy. Maybe that's it though, I guess if you think the mound can teach me to be a more wholesome person, you have a lot in common with these muffin metal people.

That effigy is a human achievement. At the time it probably made the winters less scary. Good for the people who built it. I don't care about their mound though, because I have a much nicer human achievement called the cheeseburger. Cheeseburgers require tremendous amounts of infrastructure and would've been nearly impossible not so long ago. I read an article about it on the internet, so I know it's true. The only marker I need is that once life was pretty horrible, but it's getting less horrible for just about everyone. Now we have cheeseburgers, and we even have some for the vegans. If we can just get solar energy up to stuff before the hurricanes get too much worse, things will be looking up even more.
 
2012-11-04 05:16:53 PM  
Light Warriors! Restore the power of the Orbs!
 
2012-11-04 05:18:09 PM  

Calm: I think phrases like 'our collective history' attempt to impart an awful lot of nobility to what was in fact a pretty brutal life for the people of most of those times. There are many lessons to be had from the past, but if you find it inherently enriching because it's old you're almost offensively crazy


No I find them interesting because they're not commonplace. Same with the remnants of the original California Mission buildings. I'm not Catholic but they are a part of our history and need preservation.

If they were common, it would not be an issue. They are not common, they are in fact quite rare, therefore they are important to preserve.
 
2012-11-04 05:19:08 PM  

Calm: I guess if you think the mound can teach me to be a more wholesome person


Wat?

/ignore
 
2012-11-04 07:28:53 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: From the comments: "It's very interesting to see a unique feat of astronomy and engineering that a civilization built around the time of Christ."

Yes, it's an amazing feat of...making a huge pile of dirt. Some Roman is sticking his head out of his multi-story stone building with running water, saying, "Oh, what a nice pile of dirt. Very clever indeed."


It's more like from 1100AD -- not connected to the Adena or Hopewell at all -- one of two known hilltop animal effigy mounds in Ohio (the much smaller, less well known, and poorly preserved Alligator mound outside Granville is the other)

It has all kinds of astronomical alignments that show sophisticated knowledge of astronomy -- as does any random set of points marked on the ground. No Indian tribe/culture that ever met Europeans had any idea what the thing had been for (if they knew/cared it existed) -- and it was probably a human sacrifice site.

The geology of the thing is awesome -- the hill its built on is one leg of a "crypto-explosive" crater rim. Some massive pre-human non-volcanic, non-meteoric explosive event -- wonderfully Lovecraftian.
 
2012-11-04 07:32:15 PM  

the lord god: forgotmydamnusername: the lord god: raerae1980: Wow, it's not even friggin 7AM and I'm already pissed, PISSED after reading this. I just....I need coffee.

Why? Its just a pile of dirt and nothing was changed or harmed.

Are you an archaeologist?

As a matter of fact.......yes.


Odd. I am also an archaeologist. Destruction of sites are an all too common occurance. You should be outraged, no matter what type of site it is.

Dealt with looters on a first hand basis on my site.
 
2012-11-04 09:26:26 PM  
My first green. I'm so proud.

/thingee
 
2012-11-05 11:41:43 AM  

BlippityBleep: but it's okay to turn it into a golf course instead.

Link


Wow, nice.i> Sounds like the person that wrote that charming little sales blurb is a real douche, too.
 
Displayed 86 of 86 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report