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(US Magazine)   It's that time of year again when Leonardo DiCaprio trades in the old and busted model for the new hotness   (usmagazine.com) divider line 79
    More: Interesting, Leonardo DiCaprio, Erin Heatherton  
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11369 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 04 Nov 2012 at 9:51 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-04 09:53:45 AM
So who's the new hotness?
 
2012-11-04 09:57:05 AM
His penis is a national treasure.
 
2012-11-04 10:00:17 AM
What's the bookie line on the next contestant?
 
2012-11-04 10:01:59 AM
It's the pre-holiday break up.
Happens like clockwork, particularly in college.

"This piece of a$$ isn't worth going through holiday rituals together. buying presents, taking to meet the relatives, etc. See ya!"
 
2012-11-04 10:04:18 AM

theorellior: What's the bookie line on the next contestant?


I'm going with an actress this time, but not a big name, no...some small timer trying to make it big, who thinks tat boinking him isa good career move, which, let's face it, she's probably not wrong.
 
2012-11-04 10:07:56 AM

PizzaJedi81: theorellior: What's the bookie line on the next contestant?

I'm going with an actress this time, but not a big name, no...some small timer trying to make it big, who thinks tat boinking him isa good career move, which, let's face it, she's probably not wrong.


Whoever it is, I'm guessing Timberlake or Jeter have already hit that. I heard Leo likes them broken in a bit.
 
2012-11-04 10:12:53 AM
He gets hotter chicks than any other Prius owner.

My theory is he's either gay, or he's afraid all these women are gonna get half his shiat. Either way, you go Leo. Get that top-tier pussy, boy!
 
2012-11-04 10:16:44 AM
Someone needs to get Leo, Clooney, Jeter, Timberlake, Jagger, John Mayer, Colin Farrell, and Charlie Sheen in a room just so they can all swap stories.
 
2012-11-04 10:17:22 AM
Whipping out his penis is considered currency in over 50 countries.
 
2012-11-04 10:26:59 AM
37 years old and he still looks like a Keebler elf. I suppose some years have passed since Titanic but he always looks like he's just going through puberty. It's very puzzling how his soft unmanliness is attractive to certain women. Justin Bieber has the same uncanny powers.
 
2012-11-04 10:34:23 AM

ruta: 37 years old and he still looks like a Keebler elf. I suppose some years have passed since Titanic but he always looks like he's just going through puberty. It's very puzzling how his soft unmanliness is attractive to certain women. Justin Bieber has the same uncanny powers.


Ye$, who know$ why...
 
2012-11-04 10:35:16 AM

ruta: 37 years old and he still looks like a Keebler elf. I suppose some years have passed since Titanic but he always looks like he's just going through puberty. It's very puzzling how his soft unmanliness is attractive to certain women. Justin Bieber has the same uncanny powers.


Clearly you haven't seen him without makeup lately; I'm starting to wonder if so much of this Top Shelf Ass is walking away from him, not the other way around. Sure, he might occasionally realize that a whiny child is so much bullshiat to put up with when you're old enough to be daddy, but at the end of the day he's looking more and more haggard, and his inability to pick a life partner says more about his instability and issues than anything else. This is mid-life crisis material right here. He's waking up in the morning and seeing those dark circles under his eyes and the ever-growing wrinkles and ridges, and it's tearing him apart. He has the star power to keep getting roles, but it takes more and more spackle and paint to make him look like the pedantic brats he dates.

I really hope he finds someone he can relate to soon. The end of the pussy train starts to turn into depressive drinking and general misery, followed by bitterness and jaded psychoactives abuse, but there isn't enough booze or enough antidepressives to wash away that sorrow. Only a good woman closer to his age will bring him contentment, not trying to regain his youth through another youth.
 
2012-11-04 10:41:48 AM

LegacyDL: Someone needs to get Leo, Clooney, Jeter, Timberlake, Jagger, John Mayer, Colin Farrell, and Charlie Sheen in a room just so they can all swap stories.


there's a movie that would make mad coin and result in insane lawsuits. hell, you could have the most watched reality TV series ever made!
 
2012-11-04 10:48:27 AM

KrispyKritter: LegacyDL: Someone needs to get Leo, Clooney, Jeter, Timberlake, Jagger, John Mayer, Colin Farrell, and Charlie Sheen in a room just so they can all swap stories.

there's a movie that would make mad coin and result in insane lawsuits. hell, you could have the most watched reality TV series ever made!


It could be called "Bearded Dragons And Komodo Dragons"
 
2012-11-04 10:49:12 AM
Haters gonna hate!

weknowmemes.com
 
2012-11-04 10:57:54 AM
He and Clooney have a top-shelf ass contest going on.
 
2012-11-04 11:02:44 AM

thespindrifter: Clearly you haven't seen him without makeup lately; I'm starting to wonder if so much of this Top Shelf Ass is walking away from him, not the other way around. Sure, he might occasionally realize that a whiny child is so much bullshiat to put up with when you're old enough to be daddy, but at the end of the day he's looking more and more haggard, and his inability to pick a life partner says more about his instability and issues than anything else. This is mid-life crisis material right here. He's waking up in the morning and seeing those dark circles under his eyes and the ever-growing wrinkles and ridges, and it's tearing him apart. He has the star power to keep getting roles, but it takes more and more spackle and paint to make him look like the pedantic brats he dates.

I really hope he finds someone he can relate to soon. The end of the pussy train starts to turn into depressive drinking and general misery, followed by bitterness and jaded psychoactives abuse, but there isn't enough booze or enough antidepressives to wash away that sorrow. Only a good woman closer to his age will bring him contentment, not trying to regain his youth through another youth.


Exactly. If Decaprio doesn't do something right now to change his life, he'll end up like George Clooney, living in an Italian villa balls deep in Stacy Kiebler.
 
2012-11-04 11:04:54 AM

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: top-tier pussy


It's good to be King.
 
2012-11-04 11:05:33 AM

thespindrifter: he's looking more and more haggard, and his inability to pick a life partner says more about his instability and issues than anything else. This is mid-life crisis material right here. He's waking up in the morning and seeing those dark circles under his eyes and the ever-growing wrinkles and ridges, and it's tearing him apart. He has the star power to keep getting roles, but it takes more and more spackle and paint to make him look like the pedantic brats he dates.


But aging is this wonderful blessing! Imagine how wise he must be?
 
2012-11-04 11:09:02 AM
All icing and no cake ... eventually makes you throw up.
 
2012-11-04 11:14:36 AM
my granpa looks hotter than Leo:
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/11/02/article-2227056-15D198A2000 0 05DC-606_634x491.jpg

/and gramps is dead
 
2012-11-04 11:21:47 AM

Mentat: thespindrifter: Clearly you haven't seen him without makeup lately; I'm starting to wonder if so much of this Top Shelf Ass is walking away from him, not the other way around. Sure, he might occasionally realize that a whiny child is so much bullshiat to put up with when you're old enough to be daddy, but at the end of the day he's looking more and more haggard, and his inability to pick a life partner says more about his instability and issues than anything else. This is mid-life crisis material right here. He's waking up in the morning and seeing those dark circles under his eyes and the ever-growing wrinkles and ridges, and it's tearing him apart. He has the star power to keep getting roles, but it takes more and more spackle and paint to make him look like the pedantic brats he dates.

I really hope he finds someone he can relate to soon. The end of the pussy train starts to turn into depressive drinking and general misery, followed by bitterness and jaded psychoactives abuse, but there isn't enough booze or enough antidepressives to wash away that sorrow. Only a good woman closer to his age will bring him contentment, not trying to regain his youth through another youth.

Exactly. If Decaprio doesn't do something right now to change his life, he'll end up like George Clooney, living in an Italian villa balls deep in Stacy Kiebler.


^^THIS
 
2012-11-04 11:22:42 AM

thespindrifter: ruta: 37 years old and he still looks like a Keebler elf. I suppose some years have passed since Titanic but he always looks like he's just going through puberty. It's very puzzling how his soft unmanliness is attractive to certain women. Justin Bieber has the same uncanny powers.

Clearly you haven't seen him without makeup lately; I'm starting to wonder if so much of this Top Shelf Ass is walking away from him, not the other way around. Sure, he might occasionally realize that a whiny child is so much bullshiat to put up with when you're old enough to be daddy, but at the end of the day he's looking more and more haggard, and his inability to pick a life partner says more about his instability and issues than anything else. This is mid-life crisis material right here. He's waking up in the morning and seeing those dark circles under his eyes and the ever-growing wrinkles and ridges, and it's tearing him apart. He has the star power to keep getting roles, but it takes more and more spackle and paint to make him look like the pedantic brats he dates.

I really hope he finds someone he can relate to soon. The end of the pussy train starts to turn into depressive drinking and general misery, followed by bitterness and jaded psychoactives abuse, but there isn't enough booze or enough antidepressives to wash away that sorrow. Only a good woman closer to his age will bring him contentment, not trying to regain his youth through another youth.


I think you're projecting just a wee bit much.
 
2012-11-04 11:23:40 AM

elvindeath: His penis is a national treasure.


Could be the central theme of Nick Cage's next film in the franchise.
 
2012-11-04 11:34:23 AM

Generation_D: thespindrifter: ruta: 37 years old and he still looks like a Keebler elf. I suppose some years have passed since Titanic but he always looks like he's just going through puberty. It's very puzzling how his soft unmanliness is attractive to certain women. Justin Bieber has the same uncanny powers.

Clearly you haven't seen him without makeup lately; I'm starting to wonder if so much of this Top Shelf Ass is walking away from him, not the other way around. Sure, he might occasionally realize that a whiny child is so much bullshiat to put up with when you're old enough to be daddy, but at the end of the day he's looking more and more haggard, and his inability to pick a life partner says more about his instability and issues than anything else. This is mid-life crisis material right here. He's waking up in the morning and seeing those dark circles under his eyes and the ever-growing wrinkles and ridges, and it's tearing him apart. He has the star power to keep getting roles, but it takes more and more spackle and paint to make him look like the pedantic brats he dates.

I really hope he finds someone he can relate to soon. The end of the pussy train starts to turn into depressive drinking and general misery, followed by bitterness and jaded psychoactives abuse, but there isn't enough booze or enough antidepressives to wash away that sorrow. Only a good woman closer to his age will bring him contentment, not trying to regain his youth through another youth.

I think you're projecting just a wee bit much.


I think he is projecting a bit, but there is some truth in his statement.

I am not a traditionally good looking man, though it has been said I am charming and that goes a long way with the ladies. I had a wonderfully long career of dating attractive women without being rich or famous, and until I was 39 was content to be a bachelor, because the "top shelf" pussy always came easy.

And I was content with my life, and then I met my wife, who is gorgeous, but hardly the best looking woman I have ever dated, no anywhere near a demon in the sack, but she is a wonderful person, makes me laugh, and stuck by me through thick and thin. So at the the ripe old age of 42 I got married.and while I do miss the different piece of ass I was getting every week, I do not miss the constant wearing of my game face and being on stage.

And even now when I get some hot young thing, or old hot thing, i politely decline(although i do think about it). But at the end of the day I am content. I would not give up my hot, young, wife for anything. Hot and young are secondary to the great person that she is.

But if I were Leo, I would tap that ass until I were 90.
 
2012-11-04 11:35:50 AM

thespindrifter: his inability to pick a life partner says more about his instability and issues than anything else. This is mid-life crisis material right here. He's waking up in the morning and seeing those dark circles under his eyes and the ever-growing wrinkles and ridges, and it's tearing him apart.


Yeah, I for one feel terribly for him. Imagine how much it must suck to be an incredibly wealthy movie star who sleeps with a huge number of unbelievably gorgeous women, one after the other, knowing if at any time he gets bored of them he can kick them to the curb, step outside and find thousands of other unbelievably gorgeous women willing to throw themselves in front of a train for a date with him.

lolways.com

He's crying on the inside, I bet.
 
2012-11-04 11:38:49 AM

skinink: Haters gonna hate!

[weknowmemes.com image 300x406]


He does get a lot of points for that photo alone.
 
2012-11-04 11:41:10 AM

thespindrifter: The end of the pussy train starts to turn into depressive drinking and general misery, followed by bitterness and jaded psychoactives abuse, but there isn't enough booze or enough antidepressives to wash away that sorrow. Only a good woman closer to his age will bring him contentment, not trying to regain his youth through another youth.


No. And by reason of explanation, I'll quote a famous man:

You pay them to leave.
 
2012-11-04 11:51:01 AM

theflatline: Generation_D: thespindrifter: ruta: 37 years old and he still looks like a Keebler elf. I suppose some years have passed since Titanic but he always looks like he's just going through puberty. It's very puzzling how his soft unmanliness is attractive to certain women. Justin Bieber has the same uncanny powers.

Clearly you haven't seen him without makeup lately; I'm starting to wonder if so much of this Top Shelf Ass is walking away from him, not the other way around. Sure, he might occasionally realize that a whiny child is so much bullshiat to put up with when you're old enough to be daddy, but at the end of the day he's looking more and more haggard, and his inability to pick a life partner says more about his instability and issues than anything else. This is mid-life crisis material right here. He's waking up in the morning and seeing those dark circles under his eyes and the ever-growing wrinkles and ridges, and it's tearing him apart. He has the star power to keep getting roles, but it takes more and more spackle and paint to make him look like the pedantic brats he dates.

I really hope he finds someone he can relate to soon. The end of the pussy train starts to turn into depressive drinking and general misery, followed by bitterness and jaded psychoactives abuse, but there isn't enough booze or enough antidepressives to wash away that sorrow. Only a good woman closer to his age will bring him contentment, not trying to regain his youth through another youth.

I think you're projecting just a wee bit much.

I think he is projecting a bit, but there is some truth in his statement.

I am not a traditionally good looking man, though it has been said I am charming and that goes a long way with the ladies. I had a wonderfully long career of dating attractive women without being rich or famous, and until I was 39 was content to be a bachelor, because the "top shelf" pussy always came easy.

And I was content with my life, and then I met my wife, who is gorgeous, ...


Wow, do you have to be at the gym in 26 minutes?
 
2012-11-04 11:54:54 AM

ruta: Justin Bieber has the same uncanny powers.


No he doesn't. He's not even close to 37 yet. When Justin Bieber turns 37 and he's still pulling the pricey tail, call me. I think it's more likely he'll be living like Danny Bonaduce, myself.
 
2012-11-04 12:01:42 PM

unfarkingbelievable: theflatline: Generation_D: thespindrifter: ruta: 37 years old and he still looks like a Keebler elf. I suppose some years have passed since Titanic but he always looks like he's just going through puberty. It's very puzzling how his soft unmanliness is attractive to certain women. Justin Bieber has the same uncanny powers.

Clearly you haven't seen him without makeup lately; I'm starting to wonder if so much of this Top Shelf Ass is walking away from him, not the other way around. Sure, he might occasionally realize that a whiny child is so much bullshiat to put up with when you're old enough to be daddy, but at the end of the day he's looking more and more haggard, and his inability to pick a life partner says more about his instability and issues than anything else. This is mid-life crisis material right here. He's waking up in the morning and seeing those dark circles under his eyes and the ever-growing wrinkles and ridges, and it's tearing him apart. He has the star power to keep getting roles, but it takes more and more spackle and paint to make him look like the pedantic brats he dates.

I really hope he finds someone he can relate to soon. The end of the pussy train starts to turn into depressive drinking and general misery, followed by bitterness and jaded psychoactives abuse, but there isn't enough booze or enough antidepressives to wash away that sorrow. Only a good woman closer to his age will bring him contentment, not trying to regain his youth through another youth.

I think you're projecting just a wee bit much.

I think he is projecting a bit, but there is some truth in his statement.

I am not a traditionally good looking man, though it has been said I am charming and that goes a long way with the ladies. I had a wonderfully long career of dating attractive women without being rich or famous, and until I was 39 was content to be a bachelor, because the "top shelf" pussy always came easy.

And I was content with my life, and then I met my wife, who ...


Not at all, I am not buff, tall, or particularly good looking. My is gorgeous inside and out, I did not marry her for her looks but the person she is.

I never let getting laid define me, it just happened, and nothing wrong with admitting that. Call it luck of the draw.
 
2012-11-04 12:04:12 PM
i1136.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-04 12:24:34 PM
Clooney and DiCaprio are in the majors.
Chachi and Fez are Triple A.
Bieber is someone to watch. He's already taken a rookie and made her into a star.
 
2012-11-04 12:24:39 PM

theflatline:
And I was content with my life, and then I met my wife, who is gorgeous, ...


You've got the same problem I do, attractive wife with a squadron of attractive sisters. Try not to get busted ogling, it really makes Thanksgiving uncomfortable.
 
2012-11-04 12:25:37 PM
People who aren't in a fraternity use the phrase "top shelf pussy"?
 
2012-11-04 12:36:51 PM

Mugato: People who aren't in a fraternity use the phrase "top shelf pussy"?


Only when their cat is on a bookcase.
 
2012-11-04 12:41:20 PM
Top shelf pussy is a key phrase to troll frat boys with.
 
2012-11-04 12:50:05 PM

Dear Jerk: Top shelf pussy is a key phrase to troll frat boys with.


[whistles innocently]
 
2012-11-04 12:53:40 PM
img.photobucket.com

Too Old
 
2012-11-04 12:54:28 PM

unyon: theflatline:
And I was content with my life, and then I met my wife, who is gorgeous, ...

You've got the same problem I do, attractive wife with a squadron of attractive sisters. Try not to get busted ogling, it really makes Thanksgiving uncomfortable.


Exactly, and my sister in laws think it is ok to run around in boy shorts around their favorite brother in law or cuddle up to him on the couch. But it is like human viagra. Thank god the wife does not notice.
 
2012-11-04 12:56:38 PM
Something fairly sad when you need to tell fark how great your wife is, and how many girls you banged before marrying her, and how you didn't marry her for her looks....

idk man.
 
2012-11-04 01:02:55 PM
she may be great, but does she let you...


i3.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-11-04 01:03:58 PM
So he needs a new Beard?
 
2012-11-04 01:04:43 PM
Something fairly sad when you need to tell fark how great your wife is, and how many girls you banged before marrying her, and how you didn't marry her for her looks...

my wife gave up her super-model career to marry me and take care of the kids, and she is a natural 38DD
 
Boe
2012-11-04 01:05:30 PM

theorellior: ruta: Justin Bieber has the same uncanny powers.

No he doesn't. He's not even close to 37 yet. When Justin Bieber turns 37 and he's still pulling the pricey tail, call me. I think it's more likely he'll be living like Danny Bonaduce, myself.


I was thinking Leif Garrett myself.

/old
 
2012-11-04 01:06:35 PM

LegacyDL: Someone needs to get Leo, Clooney, Jeter, Timberlake, Jagger, John Mayer, Colin Farrell, and Charlie Sheen in a room just so they can all swap stories.


Oh absolutely. Remember Jon Favreau's show Dinner for Five? That would be the perfect format.

Get them in a restaurant, booze them up a little bit, and just let them trade tales.
 
2012-11-04 01:08:26 PM

Generation_D: Something fairly sad when you need to tell fark how great your wife is, and how many girls you banged before marrying her, and how you didn't marry her for her looks....

idk man.


I met my wife when she was dressed like the swiss miss, wearing a baggy uniform, her hair in a bun, no makeup, and a hairnet. I asked her out because she had kind eyes and blushed easily. I had no idea she was beautiful. I asked her out because she was a good person, the looks department was a bonus, and when she met me for our first date, I did not recognize her because her hair was down and she was in street clothes.

I did bang a lot of women before my wife, and she knows that. Cannot hide my past, old whores(me) die hard.
 
2012-11-04 01:09:16 PM
As far as the looks department, old Leo seems fairly average. So my only conclusion that he's able to bed all these supermodels is that he's rich and famous.

/not hating, just don't see the physical attractiveness of old Leo
 
2012-11-04 01:12:55 PM

PsyLord: As far as the looks department, old Leo seems fairly average. So my only conclusion that he's able to bed all these supermodels is that he's rich and famous.

/not hating, just don't see the physical attractiveness of old Leo


He has an outstanding name and was adorable in Titanic. He needs nothing else.
 
2012-11-04 01:16:21 PM

Killer Cars: LegacyDL: Someone needs to get Leo, Clooney, Jeter, Timberlake, Jagger, John Mayer, Colin Farrell, and Charlie Sheen in a room just so they can all swap stories.

Oh absolutely. Remember Jon Favreau's show Dinner for Five? That would be the perfect format.

Get them in a restaurant, booze them up a little bit, and just let them trade tales.


none of them have anything on me.

/leo = homo
 
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