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(WSBTV)   Massive flooding in the northeast leads to beer being contaminated by dihydrogen monoxide   ( divider line
    More: Interesting, reliefs, disaster areas  
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3977 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Nov 2012 at 9:11 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2012-11-03 01:03:27 AM  
Each year, Dihydrogen Monoxide is a known causative component in many thousands of deaths and is a major contributor to millions upon millions of dollars in damage to property and the environment. Some of the known perils of Dihydrogen Monoxide are:

Death due to accidental inhalation of DHMO, even in small quantities.
Prolonged exposure to solid DHMO causes severe tissue damage.
Excessive ingestion produces a number of unpleasant though not typically life-threatening side-effects.
DHMO is a major component of acid rain.
Gaseous DHMO can cause severe burns.
Contributes to soil erosion.
Leads to corrosion and oxidation of many metals.
Contamination of electrical systems often causes short-circuits.
Exposure decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes.
Found in biopsies of pre-cancerous tumors and lesions.
Given to vicious dogs involved in recent deadly attacks.
Often associated with killer cyclones in the U.S. Midwest and elsewhere, and in hurricanes including deadly storms in Florida, New Orleans and other areas of the southeastern U.S.
Thermal variations in DHMO are a suspected contributor to the El Nino weather effect.

Laugh all you want at cheap domestic beer, but facts are facts: dhmo is some pretty scary shiat.
2012-11-03 01:25:54 AM  

NothingCanPossiblyeGoWrong: I remember reading dihydrogen-monoxide is a gateway drug

It's true. 100% of drug overdoses had dihydrogen monoxide in their system at the time of death.
2012-11-03 02:18:51 AM  

cedarpark: NothingCanPossiblyeGoWrong: I remember reading dihydrogen-monoxide is a gateway drug

It's true. 100% of drug overdoses had dihydrogen monoxide in their system at the time of death.

It's worse than that. It's not just a gateway drug, it's the gateway drug. As a kid, you grew up with Hydrox cookies (or their watered-down equivalent called "Oreos", but let's not bring race into this.) In college, you had Bud Light. After graduation and a brief flirtation with caffeine, your orthorexic cow orkers eventually got you onto pure distilled DHMO.

Trufact: 100% of people convicted of drug usage and/or posession were DHMO users before they ever tried drugs.
2012-11-03 04:11:11 AM  
"It's a relatively easy process," said Plant Operations Manager Scott Vail. "The biggest thing we have to do is shut down and cleantake the horses back to the stable, because we don't want any beerpiss mixed in with the water we're sending up there to the people."

Fixed a paragraph for them.
2012-11-03 04:38:31 AM  
Dihydrogen monoxide?! Ermigrd that stuff was used in the Nazi death camps!!!!!1
2012-11-03 02:54:28 PM  
damn now i know DMHO is just water. now u can't play jokes on me anymore. making me sign petitions banning the shiat, etc...
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