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(Ohio.com)   In prison, your nickname is often linked to your crime, and says much about your standing with the other inmates. Meet Goldilocks   (ohio.com) divider line 83
    More: Amusing, Goldilocks, Cuyahoga Falls, jail  
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20474 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Nov 2012 at 5:52 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



83 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-11-02 05:53:55 PM  
I guess he just couldn't...

resist a rest.
 
2012-11-02 05:54:08 PM  
rapey bapey
 
2012-11-02 05:54:15 PM  
Sounds like someone got wasted on Halloween.
 
2012-11-02 05:54:49 PM  
I once saw a man eat 50 eggs

/Takin' it off here boss!
 
2012-11-02 05:55:51 PM  
farked 3 bears?
 
2012-11-02 05:56:31 PM  
Just call him Rip Van Burgle and let the boys on cell block B decide what to do with him.
 
2012-11-02 05:56:54 PM  
Hey man, breaking and entering is a lot of work.
 
2012-11-02 05:58:05 PM  
static.tvguide.com
 
2012-11-02 06:04:46 PM  

illannoyin: I once saw a man eat 50 eggs

/Takin' it off here boss!


What we have here... Is a failure to communicate.

/ that'll be night in the box, Luke.
 
2012-11-02 06:05:51 PM  
Sounds like a good prison nickname is what someone named Dakota or Aden needs to succeed. Something that says "swift death will come upon my enemies" or "Daddy is tough."
 
2012-11-02 06:09:12 PM  
Dorothy will know what to do with him.
www.rowsdowr.com
 
2012-11-02 06:11:44 PM  

ProdigalSigh: Dorothy will know what to do with him.
[www.rowsdowr.com image 150x150]


"Somewherrrreee over the rainbow...there's another rainbow..."
 
2012-11-02 06:12:46 PM  
Rape behind bars just ain't funny. Stop joking about it and start doing something about it: push your state lawmakers to address the subject. At least punish guards who allow and encourage it.

Don't be so sure it'll never happen to you. Do you ever, say, possess marijuana?
 
2012-11-02 06:17:56 PM  

The One True TheDavid: Rape behind bars just ain't funny. Stop joking about it and start doing something about it: push your state lawmakers to address the subject. At least punish guards who allow and encourage it.

Don't be so sure it'll never happen to you. Do you ever, say, possess marijuana?


still sore, huh?
 
2012-11-02 06:19:35 PM  
"How's it goin'... ummm... violator...?"
 
2012-11-02 06:20:11 PM  
Do you ever, say, possess marijuana?

Not for long.
 
2012-11-02 06:20:43 PM  
Some porridge would have sobered him right up.
 
2012-11-02 06:20:51 PM  
img502.imageshack.us
 
2012-11-02 06:20:58 PM  
The One True TheDavid : Rape behind bars just ain't funny. Stop joking about it and start doing something about it: push your state lawmakers to address the subject. At least punish guards who allow and encourage it.

Don't be so sure it'll never happen to you. Do you ever, say, possess marijuana?


Right, I'm sure the politicians and legislators who only get elected due to the support of the prison guards unions will be ALL OVER changing laws and prison regulations in order to ensure fairness and equity for all. I mean, they've spent the last 40 years doing just that, right?
 
2012-11-02 06:22:05 PM  
Purdy face like that, he probably will be saying "This one is too hard" quite a lot.
 
2012-11-02 06:22:50 PM  
Well, that's a new twist on Stalag 13
 
2012-11-02 06:23:12 PM  
I wonder if he was super drunk and just stumbled into the wrong house?

Also, I'm not super impressed with the police who find a suspect unconscious and still can't arrest him without using a taser.
 
2012-11-02 06:23:55 PM  

The One True TheDavid: Rape behind bars just ain't funny. Stop joking about it and start doing something about it: push your state lawmakers to address the subject. At least punish guards who allow and encourage it.

Don't be so sure it'll never happen to you. Do you ever, say, possess marijuana?


You know, I bet the system takes prison rape very seriously.
I'm sure they would love to prosecute this and other forms of prison violence.
However, what do you think happens to you if you "rat" on your rapist?
How often do witnesses testify against the rapist?
 
2012-11-02 06:27:20 PM  

The One True TheDavid: Rape behind bars just ain't funny. Stop joking about it and start doing something about it: push your state lawmakers to address the subject. At least punish guards who allow and encourage it.

Don't be so sure it'll never happen to you. Do you ever, say, possess marijuana?


images.wikia.com
This post best read in the voice of Tom Dubois.
 
2012-11-02 06:30:07 PM  
Skyd1v:
[copyright infringing image]

Take this lad out and pun-ish him.
 
2012-11-02 06:30:31 PM  

Amos Quito: I guess he just couldn't...

resist a rest.


You're killing me here.
 
2012-11-02 06:31:49 PM  
"Do you have a warrant? May I see it, please?"
 
2012-11-02 06:32:32 PM  
Just exactly why do they call you 'Hoover'?
 
2012-11-02 06:35:54 PM  
Way
to
go,
Ohio
 
2012-11-02 06:36:41 PM  
Knew of a guy nicknamed "Bambi"... He shot a buck and got caught having intercourse with the corpse...
 
2012-11-02 06:36:47 PM  

The One True TheDavid: Rape behind bars just ain't funny. Stop joking about it and start doing something about it: push your state lawmakers to address the subject. At least punish guards who allow and encourage it.

Don't be so sure it'll never happen to you. Do you ever, say, possess marijuana?


No.

So, not really worried about it.
 
2012-11-02 06:37:25 PM  
Note to self: Cancel breaking and entering plan at Mammoth Caves.
 
2012-11-02 06:39:51 PM  

pottie: Just exactly why do they call you 'Hoover'?


*shrugs*

I could posit, but they should really speak for themselves, no?
 
2012-11-02 06:42:44 PM  

Indubitably: pottie: Just exactly why do they call you 'Hoover'?

*shrugs*

I could posit, but they should really speak for themselves, no?


Hoov'er? Damn near-Oh, wait...
 
2012-11-02 06:43:32 PM  
static2.dmcdn.net
"Yes, I'm Dorothy"
 
2012-11-02 06:46:10 PM  
My prison name was "Mudwhistle".
 
2012-11-02 06:47:38 PM  

The One True TheDavid: Rape behind bars just ain't funny. Stop joking about it and start doing something about it: push your state lawmakers to address the subject. At least punish guards who allow and encourage it.

Don't be so sure it'll never happen to you. Do you ever, say, possess marijuana?


NO
 
2012-11-02 06:54:23 PM  
Fark has been around for a long time. There have got to be some guys on Fark who were in prison at some point.

Any Farkers here have any CSB's to share? How many Farkers are using their prison nicknames as their Fark ID?

END COMMUNICATION
 
2012-11-02 06:59:31 PM  

Lord Zardoz: Fark has been around for a long time. There have got to be some guys on Fark who were in prison at some point.

Any Farkers here have any CSB's to share? How many Farkers are using their prison nicknames as their Fark ID?

END COMMUNICATION

How To Shut Down A Thread


By You.

*)

P.S. To Hoov?
 
2012-11-02 07:08:16 PM  

Mitrovarr: I wonder if he was super drunk and just stumbled into the wrong house?

Also, I'm not super impressed with the police who find a suspect unconscious and still can't arrest him without using a taser.


I could buy this story. I walked in and found a 50ish year-old, drunken guy asleep on my dining room rug one night a couple years ago. He'd lived in my house when he was a kid.
My first reaction was to give him the bum's rush out and send him sprawling onto my yard, but when I roused him he was completely disoriented and genuinely had no idea what was going on. Anyway, I called a cab for him and in the meanwhile learned a little bit more about my old house's history.
Than I banged Morgan Fairchild. Yeah. That's the ticket.
 
2012-11-02 07:08:17 PM  

Why Would I Read the Article: The One True TheDavid : Rape behind bars just ain't funny. Stop joking about it and start doing something about it: push your state lawmakers to address the subject. At least punish guards who allow and encourage it.

Don't be so sure it'll never happen to you. Do you ever, say, possess marijuana?

Right, I'm sure the politicians and legislators who only get elected due to the support of the prison guards unions will be ALL OVER changing laws and prison regulations in order to ensure fairness and equity for all. I mean, they've spent the last 40 years doing just that, right?


Serious question: are C.O.s Pro-rape? Excluding rapists and molesters.
 
2012-11-02 07:08:47 PM  
He's not going to jail. He'll get probation and sent to mandatory 12-step.
 
2012-11-02 07:09:59 PM  

Goldilocks? More like Vicky.

cdn.chud.com

 
182
2012-11-02 07:13:50 PM  
 
2012-11-02 07:14:22 PM  

Sticky Hands: farked 3 bears?


Maybe.

werenotfunny.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-11-02 07:23:39 PM  
Headline better than story.

/still a better story than Twilight
//+1 Subby
///FWIW I agree with prison rape being unfunny
////slashies
 
2012-11-02 07:23:52 PM  

wildcardjack: Sounds like someone got wasted on Halloween.


Not only that, but clearly at least one of them farking drove.
 
2012-11-02 07:24:06 PM  

Amos Quito: I guess he just couldn't...

resist a rest.


This is why the link was greenlit...for this comment... Awesome, totally awesome!
 
2012-11-02 07:26:34 PM  

The One True TheDavid: Rape behind bars just ain't funny. Stop joking about it and start doing something about it: push your state lawmakers to address the subject. At least punish guards who allow and encourage it.

Don't be so sure it'll never happen to you. Do you ever, say, possess marijuana?


I'm with you... Yeah, it's always wrong, even for murderers and child molesters. But it's hard to generate a lot of emotion there. That being said, I promise you if a guy doing a stint for weed were raped in prison, people would feel horrible about it, and if a guard looked the other way, people would call for his head. In all honesty, even this guy seems like a mostly harmless idiot.
 
2012-11-02 07:28:26 PM  

Amos Quito: I guess he just couldn't...

resist a rest.


I've always loved you, so let us relax and talk about your hair...

*)
 
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