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(The Smoking Gun)   Mmm, That's Frothy: Woman arrested after being spotted getting jiggy with herself inside a Starbucks   (thesmokinggun.com) divider line 135
    More: Florida, Starbucks, Jennifer Piranian  
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22441 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Nov 2012 at 3:35 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-02 04:21:41 PM
I can't believe nobody has commented on this part yet

is being held in the Manatee County jail
 
2012-11-02 04:24:25 PM

Cymbal: Richard Freckle: I was laughing how the comments in a masturbation thread on the smoking gun could turn political, but I see it happens here too...yes welcome to Fark; welcome to Murika

I wasn't being political. Just stating the obvious that Obama makes pussy cream their jeans much more than his magic underwear-donning opponent.


I'm ok with this
 
2012-11-02 04:27:46 PM

mercator_psi: ChipNASA: [i.imgur.com image 801x177]

Great, now I have macaroni salad all over my monitor. Thanks a lot.


I hoping to get at least ONE.
My work here is done.
Have a lovely weekend.
/CU
 
2012-11-02 04:27:50 PM
I love the tags:

Starbucks, Florida, Masturbation.

I'm gonna google these words together and see what comes up. This is a scary experiment, peoples!

Switch 'em around and they're like an advert from the Dept. of Tourism: "Starbucks. Masturbation. Florida." Come..in Florida!
 
2012-11-02 04:28:25 PM

Rabid Turnip: I can't believe nobody has commented on this part yet

is being held in the Manatee County jail


i came in expecting manatee pictures, but this will have to do.

/too lazy to find my own.
 
2012-11-02 04:30:11 PM

blacknite: Rabid Turnip: I can't believe nobody has commented on this part yet

is being held in the Manatee County jail

i came in expecting manatee pictures, but this will have to do.

/too lazy to find my own.


Might be considered animal abuse
 
2012-11-02 04:30:33 PM
I guess the amount of beans in the establishment got her in the mood to flick one of them.
 
2012-11-02 04:31:52 PM
I can't frappe to this!
 
2012-11-02 04:33:21 PM

PullmyHair: SweetSaws: CAUTION: Contents are hot

That's a gross overstatement


...because she's unattractive.
 
2012-11-02 04:34:29 PM
 
2012-11-02 04:35:04 PM

Rabid Turnip: I can't believe nobody has commented on this part yet

is being held in the Manatee County jail


I can see why some would find that funny. Too obvious and jokey jokey for my taste though. You'd also need to follow it with a photo of someone doing a rimshot. Too much work for a Friday.
 
2012-11-02 04:35:12 PM
I like my women like I like my coffee... masturbating in Starbucks.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2012-11-02 04:39:32 PM
"I want a Twatte Latte extra foamy"

BLEH
 
2012-11-02 04:45:48 PM
I was wondering what happened to Grabel's Daughter.
 
2012-11-02 04:48:38 PM
I saw that video once. The woman was a lot hotter than the one in the article though.

/It got deleted before I could save it
//I was very sad
 
2012-11-02 04:48:54 PM

kumanoki: Ed Finnerty: [i.cdn.turner.com image 200x267]

She's got one eye on the coffee and the other on her toffee.

She looks like Peter Lorre.

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 500x300]


When she's contemplating a crime?

By the way, FTFA:

A cop offered her a ride to the hospital, but asked to first check her purse, to which Piranian agreed. The officer subsequently discovered "a glass stem" in the 29-year-old Piranian's purse that "tested positive for cocaine residue," according to a probable cause affidavit.

The proper answer was something like "No officer, I refuse permission to search my purse. I'll make my own way to the hospital if I'm free to go; if you wish to detain me then I have nothing to say until I consult with an attorney."

Never just let a cop search you or your purse just because he asks, we especially if he's talking to you about something else. ("No ma'am, the President's gone and the barricades are down. You should be able to get through now. By the way, may I search your purse?")

IANAL but I'm pretty sure a cop must have reasonable cause to believe there's a reason to arrest you before searching. The fact that you're carrying a purse, or have pockets in your clothing, is not in itself probable cause.

Even if you're not carrying anything illegal -- especially when you're not carrying anything illegal -- it's up to you to protect your constitutional rights -- and everybody else's -- by requiring those rights to be respected. In most states you have to identify yourself and that's it: anything you say, or that you let a cop find in your purse, can and will be used against you if the cop feels like it (and they very often do).

You don't have to take my word for it: there are videos out there on Youtube of law school professors and suchlike saying "Don''t talk to cops and don't let them search you just because they ask." (Because I know so many farkers are so much better at finding things on Youtube than at reading comprehension.)

Every time I see some dizzbrain got busted by allowing a casual search I froth at the mouth and want to slap the person. The world is cursed by too many stupid people.
 
2012-11-02 04:51:05 PM

Tomflry7: I was wondering what happened to Grabel's Daughter.


Clearly she took the ostracizing from the Fark admins poorly. Sadly, I can't say I'd hit it anymore.
 
2012-11-02 04:51:28 PM
And by the way, she's not THAT ugly. Have y'all never been to Walmart?
 
2012-11-02 04:55:39 PM

Ed Finnerty: [i.cdn.turner.com image 200x267]

She's got one eye on the coffee and the other on her toffee.


It makes you go blind.
 
2012-11-02 04:57:04 PM
it was frothy but was it Santorum
 
2012-11-02 04:57:41 PM

The One True TheDavid: And by the way, she's not THAT ugly. Have y'all never been to Walmart?


What is this "Walmart" you speak of?
 
2012-11-02 04:59:06 PM
Jiggy? Sounds racist to me.
 
2012-11-02 05:09:45 PM
I'd hit it. But I'm kind of a he-whore.
 
2012-11-02 05:12:24 PM

DirkTheDaring: I wonder what her streamate name is.


Hey! Watch it. :)
 
2012-11-02 05:12:53 PM
i.imgur.com

Does not appear to be welcome at Starbucks.
 
2012-11-02 05:17:05 PM
Extra hot latte? You guys Are slipping
 
2012-11-02 05:20:26 PM
i7.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-02 05:26:50 PM

FirstNationalBastard: I like my women like I like my coffee... masturbating in Starbucks.


I like mine black, bitter, and cheap.
 
2012-11-02 05:36:14 PM
It's a coffee shop. Is she really the first woman to be caught flicking her bean?
 
2012-11-02 05:37:09 PM

SweetSaws: FirstNationalBastard: I like my women like I like my coffee... masturbating in Starbucks.

I like mine black, bitter, and cheap.


Ground up, bagged and in the freezer?
 
2012-11-02 05:41:54 PM

uber humper: SweetSaws: FirstNationalBastard: I like my women like I like my coffee... masturbating in Starbucks.

I like mine black, bitter, and cheap.

Ground up, bagged and in the freezer?


hot, black, and all over my crotch.
 
2012-11-02 05:42:23 PM

uber humper: SweetSaws: FirstNationalBastard: I like my women like I like my coffee... masturbating in Starbucks.

I like mine black, bitter, and cheap.

Ground up, bagged and in the freezer?


Hot, strong and sweet?

/just the way I like my men
 
2012-11-02 05:45:06 PM

Stimpy's new tooth: DirkTheDaring: I wonder what her streamate name is.

Hey! Watch it. :)


Oh, I do!
 
2012-11-02 05:49:18 PM
i.cdn.turner.com
moviequoter.com
 
2012-11-02 05:49:27 PM
I will have what she is having.
 
2012-11-02 05:55:31 PM

ChipNASA: mercator_psi: ChipNASA: [i.imgur.com image 801x177]

Great, now I have macaroni salad all over my monitor. Thanks a lot.

I hoping to get at least ONE.
My work here is done.
Have a lovely weekend.
/CU


More than one.

I spit Guinness. GUINNESS, do you understand you bastard?!

You glorious bastard.

Not that I wouldn't have watched...

web.mit.edu
 
2012-11-02 06:01:29 PM

Treygreen13: Cymbal: Where is the outrage people? This is nothing short of appearance discrimination. If she were hot, she would have gotten off without so much as a fap on the wrist.

If she were a man (and didn't have a crack pipe) she'd be in jail and would forever be required to tell her neighbors that she is a sex offender.


you know you want to see my wiener! -sipsip-
 
2012-11-02 06:11:27 PM
Piranian, who denied ownership of the pipe,

That's not mine!
 
2012-11-02 06:12:55 PM
static6.businessinsider.com
 
2012-11-02 06:13:56 PM
static.tvtome.com
 
2012-11-02 06:15:13 PM
A woman who was spotted masturbating in a Starbucks was arrested yesterday after Florida cops searched her purse and found a pipe with cocaine residue.

/ I read that as "stretched her puss" and thought i had a new field to work in.
 
2012-11-02 06:24:32 PM

kiwimoogle84: uber humper: SweetSaws: FirstNationalBastard: I like my women like I like my coffee... masturbating in Starbucks.

I like mine black, bitter, and cheap.

Ground up, bagged and in the freezer?

Hot, strong and sweet?

/just the way I like my men


I prefer my women with hot, wet, and sweet with two lumps. 
/And maybe a bit of milk
 
2012-11-02 06:39:46 PM
"No, ma'am, I said you could have a Frappuccino"
 
2012-11-02 06:44:09 PM
"I'm sorry ma'am, but we don't sell Schlicka schlicka schlicka here."
 
2012-11-02 06:54:41 PM
She might clean up OK...

/desperate times call for desperate measures.
 
2012-11-02 06:57:09 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-11-02 07:22:51 PM
i.huffpost.com

static.tvtome.com
 
2012-11-02 07:22:54 PM

Cymbal: She was prob thinking about how great she felt last night when she voted early for Barack Obama.


I had 400 absentee ballots to fill out, and I just got done. I'm feeling--wow, just wow.
 
2012-11-02 07:25:18 PM

cryinoutloud: Cymbal: She was prob thinking about how great she felt last night when she voted early for Barack Obama.

I had 400 absentee ballots to fill out, and I just got done. I'm feeling--wow, just wow.


Cute.

I been to your area in Colorado; 'tis beautiful.

Please keep it so.

Protect the water.
 
2012-11-02 07:25:34 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: [static.tvtome.com image 600x300]


static.tvtome.com

Came for this was not disappointed. Also expected to see a photo of Chloe Sevigny.
 
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