If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Guardian)   Obama Secret Service bodyguard found dead in apparent suicide. Initial clues suggest he threw himself under a bus   (guardian.co.uk) divider line 28
    More: Scary  
•       •       •

13906 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Nov 2012 at 11:11 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-11-02 11:28:02 AM  
4 votes:

MaliFinn: LegacyDL: Let me get this straight: A 20 year career man kills himself because of some woman he was boinking?

Seeing as how this is happening in DC I'm calling BS.

Nobody said it was a woman.


Or a man...

ih1.redbubble.net
2012-11-02 11:35:04 AM  
3 votes:
Some people are saying that he cried out for help as he did it, and Obama watched from the control room on his Dick Tracy wrist television and laughed and laughed, even though he had Willie Horton stationed on a swift boat just 2 blocks away.
2012-11-02 11:26:12 AM  
3 votes:

dothemath: The article does not mention that he was also married.
The thought of dealing with a family implosion and the shame that goes along with it is enough for some guys to pull the plug.


Lost your job, lost your wife.... anybody check on the status of his dog? We could have a country song in the making here.
2012-11-02 11:17:57 AM  
3 votes:

blatz514: Rafael Prieto had been undergoing administrative proceedings for having an unreported romantic relationship with a foreign national, a law enforcement source told Reuters.

That's a fancy way of saying "hooker."


I wouldn't want to live without hookers either.
2012-11-02 12:20:47 PM  
2 votes:
Here's what I've been thinking about. Lets say that during the second debate Obama takes a swipe and cold clocks Mitt Romney in the face. What happens next? Does Romney's Secret Service detail tackle the president only to have Obama's Secret Service detail jump on top of those guys? These are the things I think about while watching the debates...
2012-11-02 11:46:21 AM  
2 votes:
Will his funeral be a secret service, too?
2012-11-02 11:28:31 AM  
2 votes:

Primitive Screwhead: Bit'O'Gristle: So if I'm reading tfa right, if you are a member of the secret service, you have to REPORT who you're boinking to your boss? Wtf is up with that?

In the 80's they all listed Morgan Fairchild.


In all fairness, that was a great piece of ass. 

/and she could suck the sand out of concrete
2012-11-02 11:26:07 AM  
2 votes:
I am sure the conspiracy theories regarding this will all be sane and reasonable.
2012-11-02 11:17:37 AM  
2 votes:

blatz514: Rafael Prieto had been undergoing administrative proceedings for having an unreported romantic relationship with a foreign national, a law enforcement source told Reuters.

That's a fancy way of saying "hooker."


I think they are taking some liberties with the word "romantic"
2012-11-02 11:15:21 AM  
2 votes:

Bit'O'Gristle: So if I'm reading tfa right, if you are a member of the secret service, you have to REPORT who you're boinking to your boss? Wtf is up with that?


In the 80's they all listed Morgan Fairchild.
2012-11-02 09:52:19 AM  
2 votes:
So I got a pile of tickets to hell over here, can I turn them all in for an upgrade?

/giggle
2012-11-02 11:45:34 AM  
1 votes:

Godscrack: TheBigJerk: That he liked pussy.

Maybe it wasn't pussy.




The foreign national was...Vladimir Putin.

Suicide was the best he could hope for.


/barf
2012-11-02 11:38:33 AM  
1 votes:

Orgasmatron138: incendi: It's a shame he suicided, though... I'm sure even if your clearance is yanked and you get fired, you can get a good job with a private security firm after 20+ years with the SS.

Makes me wonder if there's more to the story...


His husband didn't know he was straight ...

/i keed
2012-11-02 11:37:13 AM  
1 votes:
He couldn't live knowing the truth about how Breitbart died.
2012-11-02 11:34:29 AM  
1 votes:
Actually it's pretty obvious with unemployment being so high these days...

He knows after next week he's going be out of a job anyway.
2012-11-02 11:33:31 AM  
1 votes:
Hmmm.... so either the guy was facing the probable end of his career, public humiliation, etc. and decided that suicide was the best way out, -OR- it's a vast government conspiracy. The guy probably saw that Obama was meeting with the Lizard People and, because the man was a true patriot that loved and served his nation faithfully, the president feared that he would tell the media, so he had the guy murdered by his personal cadre of elite assassins.
2012-11-02 11:32:04 AM  
1 votes:

Arn_Dee: Wow, Romney will stop at nothing to get this presidency.


Obama will stop at nothing to keep the truth from being let out;

/Romney doesn't have that kind of juice, yet.
2012-11-02 11:30:08 AM  
1 votes:
Wow, Romney will stop at nothing to get this presidency.
2012-11-02 11:26:47 AM  
1 votes:

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: incendi: It's a shame he suicided, though... I'm sure even if your clearance is yanked and you get fired, you can get a good job with a private security firm after 20+ years with the SS.

That was my thought.

Perhaps there are more layers to this story.


He was Married with Children....

upload.wikimedia.org
2012-11-02 11:26:12 AM  
1 votes:
Oh lord, the derp from this is going to stretch on for years. Someone at Snopes is having a stroke right now.
2012-11-02 11:21:59 AM  
1 votes:

Disposable Rob: It's the association with a foreign national, which everyone with a Top Secret (I believe this is the level, might be lower) clearance must disclose.


This, I was interviewed for friend's clearance and they asked specific questions about some foreign co-workers we both had when we worked the same summer job 15 years earlier.
2012-11-02 11:20:49 AM  
1 votes:

Bit'O'Gristle: So if I'm reading tfa right, if you are a member of the secret service, you have to REPORT who you're boinking to your boss? Wtf is up with that?


Same way that if you're in intelligence and marry a foreign national, or even a non-native born US citizen, they're going to get a background investigation just about as thorough as yours.
2012-11-02 11:20:43 AM  
1 votes:
If he suicided, chances are that said foreign national went un-reported for a reason. The reason being she was a spy.

Actually that's bullshiat, I don't really know, I just like baseless speculation and bloviating on the intarwebz.
2012-11-02 11:20:08 AM  
1 votes:
FTA: Gwendolyn Crump, a spokeswoman for the DC Metropolitan police department, and friend of Lemony Snicket, would not provide details about an ongoing investigation.
2012-11-02 11:19:43 AM  
1 votes:
Tin foil hats - now available in flat tops!

i208.photobucket.com
2012-11-02 11:15:20 AM  
1 votes:
The ole suicide by CO poisoning eh. Wonder what he knew.
2012-11-02 11:14:16 AM  
1 votes:
Rafael Prieto had been undergoing administrative proceedings for having an unreported romantic relationship with a foreign national, a law enforcement source told Reuters.

That's a fancy way of saying "hooker."
2012-11-02 11:14:14 AM  
1 votes:
Vince Foster II: Clinton Boogaloo!
 
Displayed 28 of 28 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report