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(Guardian)   Obama Secret Service bodyguard found dead in apparent suicide. Initial clues suggest he threw himself under a bus   (guardian.co.uk) divider line 140
    More: Scary  
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13914 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Nov 2012 at 11:11 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-02 12:56:35 PM  

Man On Fire: Bit'O'Gristle: So if I'm reading tfa right, if you are a member of the secret service, you have to REPORT who you're boinking to your boss? Wtf is up with that?

That's the way it is in a lot of agencies. It is so they can confirm you aren't sleeping with any enemy intelligence agents or terrorists.



So they have to ask every chick they hit up on in a bar for her birth certificate?
 
2012-11-02 01:01:00 PM  
Can't wait for the inevitable slew of "Obama murdered his secret service agent, Like if you support Romney!" posts on Facebook. farkibg Christ, people are retarded.
 
2012-11-02 01:01:40 PM  
Apparently so are my fingers. "farking".
 
2012-11-02 01:14:13 PM  

Bit'O'Gristle: So if I'm reading tfa right, if you are a member of the secret service, you have to REPORT who you're boinking to your boss? Wtf is up with that?


If you're a footsoldier. If you pick up checks written by the TBTF crowd, you are exempt.
 
2012-11-02 01:14:54 PM  

machoprogrammer: LegacyDL: Let me get this straight: A 20 year career man kills himself because of some woman he was boinking?

Seeing as how this is happening in DC I'm calling BS.

Yeah, I gotta agree with this


It's not exactly rare for a guy to kill himself over a disintegrating marriage AND career.
 
2012-11-02 01:25:57 PM  

pciszek: machoprogrammer: LegacyDL: Let me get this straight: A 20 year career man kills himself because of some woman he was boinking?

Seeing as how this is happening in DC I'm calling BS.

Yeah, I gotta agree with this

It's not exactly rare for a guy to kill himself over a disintegrating marriage AND career.


Especially if he's wound really tight to begin with.
 
2012-11-02 01:35:09 PM  

Wicked Chinchilla: These things are no joke. He probably ate the bullet because...
1) His marriage/home life was about to get dynamited by the revelation (or already was if the wife knew)
2) If the investigation wasn't going his way and he was sure he would lose his clearance his career in that entire line of work is gone.


Assuming he had engaged with sexual relations with a foreign national, how important could his wife and her opinion be to him? Why would he cheat on her if he cared what she thought? If his feelings for the wife led him to cheat; wouldn't he almost hope to get caught so that the wife would, perhaps, pack and go away.

As long as we're making up fantasy scenarios with no basis in any evidence, I think he had a terminal illness and decided to go out on his own terms.
 
2012-11-02 01:47:48 PM  

Lunaville: Wicked Chinchilla: These things are no joke. He probably ate the bullet because...
1) His marriage/home life was about to get dynamited by the revelation (or already was if the wife knew)
2) If the investigation wasn't going his way and he was sure he would lose his clearance his career in that entire line of work is gone.

Assuming he had engaged with sexual relations with a foreign national, how important could his wife and her opinion be to him? Why would he cheat on her if he cared what she thought? If his feelings for the wife led him to cheat; wouldn't he almost hope to get caught so that the wife would, perhaps, pack and go away.

As long as we're making up fantasy scenarios with no basis in any evidence, I think he had a terminal illness and decided to go out on his own terms.


He has kids. Obviously his wife was low on his priority list (most likely) But I have seen guys totally break down about custody of their kids.

/don't have to get all mean about it we are all just shooting the shiat essentially.
 
2012-11-02 01:48:17 PM  

Lunaville: Assuming he had engaged with sexual relations with a foreign national, how important could his wife and her opinion be to him? Why would he cheat on her if he cared what she thought? If his feelings for the wife led him to cheat; wouldn't he almost hope to get caught so that the wife would, perhaps, pack and go away.


It doesn't always work that way. Humans are not logical.

Also, his infidelity is going to play really well in divorce court--for his wife's case, that is--and he will probably end up broke and with very little access to his kids.
 
2012-11-02 01:50:57 PM  
Unless he shot himself in the back of his head three time, hanged himself and then set himself on fire I call Bullshiate on the suicide theory.

You know, as was established during the Clintoooon Era?
 
2012-11-02 01:52:43 PM  
Suicide.....right. Not buyin it.
 
2012-11-02 01:58:13 PM  

I hate to be all "Alex Jones" (Aw Hell! That's only two letters away from my actual name!!!)

But I smell big fat cover-up!

 
2012-11-02 02:06:16 PM  

Wicked Chinchilla: Lunaville: Wicked Chinchilla: These things are no joke. He probably ate the bullet because...
1) His marriage/home life was about to get dynamited by the revelation (or already was if the wife knew)
2) If the investigation wasn't going his way and he was sure he would lose his clearance his career in that entire line of work is gone.

Assuming he had engaged with sexual relations with a foreign national, how important could his wife and her opinion be to him? Why would he cheat on her if he cared what she thought? If his feelings for the wife led him to cheat; wouldn't he almost hope to get caught so that the wife would, perhaps, pack and go away.

As long as we're making up fantasy scenarios with no basis in any evidence, I think he had a terminal illness and decided to go out on his own terms.

He has kids. Obviously his wife was low on his priority list (most likely) But I have seen guys totally break down about custody of their kids.

/don't have to get all mean about it we are all just shooting the shiat essentially.


I'm sorry. I didn't intend to come across as mean. I only meant that my theory should be taken with a grain of salt. I hadn't thought much about the custody arrangements. I assumed in the event of a divorce he would have extensive visitation rights. The women friends I have who are divorced spend quite a bit of time trying to get their ex-husbands to spend more time with the kids. It's not like having an affair will result in a man being labeled an unfit Dad.

I think we should assume this man was innocent of having such an illicit relationship until it is proven otherwise. Maybe he was innocent.
 
2012-11-02 02:13:16 PM  

EZ Writer: Bit'O'Gristle: So if I'm reading tfa right, if you are a member of the secret service, you have to REPORT who you're boinking to your boss? Wtf is up with that?

In many sensitive government positions, you have to report *any* personal or professional contact with foreign nationals. Hell, even mine, and I'm less than no one - and I'm certainly not taking a bullet for my boss. They beat it into you ad nauseam, so there's no way he could play the "I didn't know" card. But suicide over early retirement, or worse, being fired? Maybe she was really fat... I don't know.


I'm thinking they might have brought him in to talk and told him, "Remember that girl you fell in love with and wanted to marry? You know the one you thought was from Israel. Well it turns out the person with that name died in a car crash 20 years ago. She was actually born in Syria. You didn't happen to mention that we knew about her did you? because she burned her house to the ground and flew to Iran under a different name this morning."
 
2012-11-02 02:13:45 PM  
This was probably the guy who was personally delivering hookers to Obama.
 
2012-11-02 02:21:03 PM  

Lunaville: I think we should assume this man was innocent of having such an illicit relationship until it is proven otherwise. Maybe he was innocent.


He confirmed to his investigator that he had been having an affair with a Mexican woman for 6 years. He was ratted out by one of the guys involved in the colombian prostitute incident.
 
2012-11-02 02:23:52 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: blahpers: Hippo's post is the poster child for everything that's wrong with modern conservatives.

Did you guys miss the thread after thread after thread hoping for the Hurricane to hit the Republican Convention?
Or is wishing the death and destruction of an entire city cool but a morbid laugh about a guy we'll never know wrong?

I can't wait for this election to be over, everyone wash the sand our our shors and getting back to the sick bastards we really are.


I guess I did miss those threads, and anybody who seriously wished that is a horrible person. Is that the sort of person you wish to rate your behavior against?
 
2012-11-02 02:25:29 PM  
suicide huh? he must have caught himself by surprise...

www.cinemorgue.com
 
2012-11-02 02:35:05 PM  

blahpers: I guess I did miss those threads, and anybody who seriously wished that is a horrible person. Is that the sort of person you wish to rate your behavior against?


No I'd rate against Gandhi. And let me tell you I'm so much better than him. I so kick his arse.
 
2012-11-02 02:36:58 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: blahpers: I guess I did miss those threads, and anybody who seriously wished that is a horrible person. Is that the sort of person you wish to rate your behavior against?

No I'd rate against Gandhi. And let me tell you I'm so much better than him. I so kick his arse.


Sure then, just take your ball and go home.
 
2012-11-02 02:38:32 PM  

Leisure Suit Larry: If you work for the secret service you can only have sex with americans?


Yes, and you must use lubed, libbed lubbers while doing so.
 
2012-11-02 02:39:23 PM  

Bit'O'Gristle: So if I'm reading tfa right, if you are a member of the secret service, you have to REPORT who you're boinking to your boss? Wtf is up with that?


No, no it's worse than that.

If you have a security clearance, *especially* if you're TS/SCI or the DOE equivalent, you have to file foreign contact forms any time some furriner speaks to you much more than "hi".

You are not required to file for commercial or brief interactions - which spares you from filing "I was told 'Hola'" by unidentified passerby 14", or "The waiter asked me what I wanted to drink at 2231", but if someone in the hotel elevator says "Hey, you look familiar, are you with that Army group on the third floor?" then yeah baby, it's DS-1887 time. Hell, if someone gets asky and they're NOT an obvious foreigner you have to bring it up to the SO.

At times, depending on where you are, you can spot the guys with clearance by the way they avoid talking to locals so they don't have to file.

But most especially, if you're boinking the locals, it's required, because there's always a possibility that said local has been put in your path to boink by the security services of whatever locale you're visiting.
 
2012-11-02 02:47:21 PM  

incendi: Lunaville: I think we should assume this man was innocent of having such an illicit relationship until it is proven otherwise. Maybe he was innocent.

He confirmed to his investigator that he had been having an affair with a Mexican woman for 6 years. He was ratted out by one of the guys involved in the colombian prostitute incident.


I didn't realize he himself confirmed that he had been having an affair. I'm not sure I approve his co-worker reporting him. I wonder about the co-workers' motivations. On the other hand, these guys were doing an extraordinarily special that requires strict accountability. Maybe I would feel less uneasy about it if the information had come to light in another way, from another person.

I also thought the hysteria over the Secret Service using prostitutes was, well, hysteria. As I see it, if a man were married, he violated the marriage agreement with his wife and has acted unsoundly. If a man is not married, then it is no ones' business but his own if he chooses to purchase the services of an escort.
 
2012-11-02 02:47:36 PM  
Somebody knew too much

In October a Secret Service officer was arrested for being unconscious on a Miama street corner a day after a visit by Obama.

That just does not sound like a good idea
 
2012-11-02 02:50:29 PM  

trappedspirit: Somebody knew too much

In October a Secret Service officer was arrested for being unconscious on a Miama street corner a day after a visit by Obama.

That just does not sound like a good idea


Yes, that one might need to scale back on his drinking a little.
 
2012-11-02 03:03:30 PM  

Lunaville: I'm not sure I approve his co-worker reporting him. I wonder about the co-workers' motivations. On the other hand, these guys were doing an extraordinarily special that requires strict accountability. Maybe I would feel less uneasy about it if the information had come to light in another way, from another person.


Yeah, apparently his co-worker was "concerned the new rules weren't being applied uniformly"... i.e., "I'm getting boned, let me just go ahead and drag a few others down with me." Which on the one hand is kind of a dick move, but on the other hand, it's a kind of a valid point... their job is important, and they need to be strict and uniform in the application of their policies. You can't let something against the rules go on just because it's a senior guy doing it... that's usually where an organization's structure and discipline start corroding until something really bad happens and somebody much higher in the chain of command comes and makes everybody miserable until they're satisfied it won't happen again. I've seen it a thousand times. And by a thousand, I mean about four, but I'm pretty sure it happens like that a lot.
 
2012-11-02 03:09:35 PM  

Lunaville: As I see it, if a man were married, he violated the marriage agreement with his wife and has acted unsoundly. If a man is not married, then it is no ones' business but his own if he chooses to purchase the services of an escort.


You'd think so, wouldn't you? However, unlike the 'old days' when my then First Sgt set up brothel payroll deduction plans under the table, these days there's a government imperative under the name of "Combating Trafficking in Persons". Bush signed a National Security Directive into law in 2002 which declares escorts, hookers, strippers etc to be anathema.

That's not just for service members, either, it covers ANY US citizen working for the government, or who are "endorsed" by the government, or doing contract work for the government - that covers anyone with clearance - and if you pay-per-boink, you are in trouble if/when they catch up to you.

If you're married and boink ANYONE it's considered actionably bad form, if you're single and boink someone who's willing and free, you still have to report it if they're foreign.
 
2012-11-02 03:11:52 PM  
So let's get to the point. Is Sarah Palin automatically president now or not?
 
2012-11-02 03:18:55 PM  

Bit'O'Gristle: So if I'm reading tfa right, if you are a member of the secret service, you have to REPORT who you're boinking to your boss? Wtf is up with that?


Apparently, men, and only men, can be swayed by the crazy they stick their dicks into.
It needn't be said, women have 0 loyalty to anyone, anyway, no matter who they are boinking.
Therefore, If the detail is male, he's frail.
The biatch is the hitch you must ditch.
He couldn't choose.
Failure to choose wisely always ends up in tears.
 
2012-11-02 03:19:47 PM  
Kind of makes you question the psychological screening process, too. It would certainly suck to get fired for banging a hooker, but that's not worth killing yourself over.
 
2012-11-02 03:27:45 PM  
Hmm...
 
2012-11-02 03:31:37 PM  

incendi: It's a shame he suicided, though... I'm sure even if your clearance is yanked and you get fired, you can get a good job with a private security firm after 20+ years with the SS.


The latest level in the depths of verbing. He 'suicided'. And my spell-checker doesn't even bat an eyelid.
 
2012-11-02 03:48:29 PM  

incendi: You have to report anything more than passing contact with a foreign national. That includes puttin' your dick inside one.


Wait, what if that's over so quickly as to be considered mere "passing contact"?
 
2012-11-02 03:51:31 PM  

blahpers: The Stealth Hippopotamus: blahpers: Hippo's post is the poster child for everything that's wrong with modern conservatives.

Did you guys miss the thread after thread after thread hoping for the Hurricane to hit the Republican Convention?
Or is wishing the death and destruction of an entire city cool but a morbid laugh about a guy we'll never know wrong?

I can't wait for this election to be over, everyone wash the sand our our shors and getting back to the sick bastards we really are.

I guess I did miss those threads, and anybody who seriously wished that is a horrible person. Is that the sort of person you wish to rate your behavior against?


I have highlighted the important word... No one was serious... Neither is Stealth Hippo... (Do you think he actually has real tickets to hell??)
 
2012-11-02 04:15:21 PM  

acad1228: I hate to be all "Alex Jones"


alex jones is a fraud sowing misinformation for profit, hawking survival gear on any of his at least 4 websites that share the same fraudulent nonstories. Alex jones isn't worth an ounce of anyone's attention.
 
2012-11-02 04:16:48 PM  
I say it had something to do with his missed car and house payments. Had nothing to with foreign hooha.
 
2012-11-02 05:37:45 PM  
"GOOD SEX CAN SAVE THE NATION"

when will we learn?
 
2012-11-02 07:58:30 PM  
Release the autopsy photos and report.

Suicides involving defense employees and contractors should have full disclosure.
 
2012-11-02 10:33:44 PM  

vudukungfu: Apparently, men, and only men, can be swayed by the crazy they stick their dicks into.


Battered women who insist the guy really loves them or won't do it again = evidence it's not just men who have this problem.
 
2012-11-03 01:20:14 AM  

Pair-o-Dice: Primitive Screwhead: Bit'O'Gristle: So if I'm reading tfa right, if you are a member of the secret service, you have to REPORT who you're boinking to your boss? Wtf is up with that?

In the 80's they all listed Morgan Fairchild.

In all fairness, that was a great piece of ass. 

/and she could suck the sand out of concrete


Yeah I was half in love with her too :D
 
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